How about a DUTCH FIRST DATE? ❤️🇳🇱

A friend from your country calls you:
"Tomorrow, I'll have a first date with a Dutch person. Can you give me some tips?"
That's what we asked learndutch.org followers and virtual classroom students. For a reason! For the majority of people who learn Dutch, love / a Dutch partner is the reason to learn the language.
Valentine's Day special!
Other videos where foreigners talk about Dutch lovers:
Are the Dutch good lovers? • Are the DUTCH good LOV...
How to flirt in Dutch? • How to FLIRT in DUTCH?...
Culture shock: a Dutch partner! • Culture SHOCK: a DUTCH...
A Dutch wedding? • How about a DUTCH WEDD...
How to love in Dutch? • How to love... in Dutc...
More Dutch culture videos with Dutch language students in the following playlist:
• How do the DUTCH celeb...
More Dutch language videos with Dutch language students in the following playlist:
• EMBARRASSING misunders...
Video produced by:
Bart de Pau
(online Dutch teacher and founder of the Dutch Summer School and Dutch Winter School)
Editing: Nicolas Balbontin, Kim van den Corput, Bart de Pau
To know more about our:
Virtual classrooms for learning Dutch: www.learndutch...
Dutch Summer School: dutchsummersch...
Dutch Winter School: dutchwintersch...
Learn Dutch online with Bart de Pau: www.learndutch...

[@Rutteopvakantie]

Respect to the guy who took the girl out to FEBO. Set the standards from the first date.

[@jorisboonekamp9038]

I couldn´t believe she actually wanted a second date after that!

[@carlarossi6399]

According to Freud who is stingy is also constipated so...Let Op! 😄

[@dutchdykefinger]

she wanted a 4 wall restaurant after so he probably went to mcdonalds the 2nd time lol

[@shikishirauki3005]

My 1st date with Dutch guy was at ijs truck on street! 🤣 Well, he is now my husband so...guess we don't need fansy stuff to form a relationship ❤️

[@King_NL]

@@jorisboonekamp9038 I can't believe people base their love interest on something as shallow as how good the restaurant is.

[@zeynepnursozer]

I love how everything about dating is very straight in this country. People are open about what they want from the beginning and have conversations about what they expect from their partners in the future. Yeah the chasing and the games might look nice but after dating my Dutch partner for 1.5 years I am glad we were very direct from the start and avoided those games

[@williamgeardener2509]

Dutch romance is: Dutch man: I think I like you Woman: Ok Dutch man: Ok, we had 3 dates already what are your ideas? Woman: I'm not sure. Dutch man: I don't like this indecisiveness. Your place or mine? 3 hours later..... Dutch man: I told you, we were meant to be.

[@rabarberellum1017]

Dutch people probably do spend time to dress up, that is, they put a lot of thought in choosing the best of there informal clothes. Only compared to other countries this is of course not dressing up. For instance he might choose his best pair of sneakers or jeans and she can break her head on if she should pick her new comfy knit sweater that gives her a warm appearance or that blouse that brings more color in her eyes. It’s all shades of grey compared to wearing a dress or suit, but it’s there if you’re aware of it. At least as Dutch person that’s what I notice.

[@BRTxNL]

And you have to consider the weather as well, since rain should be expected at all times. Good luck with your sun dress during a windy summer shower, same goes for make-up a lot of the time, I think.

[@jlammetje]

Definitely! People do dress up, it's just less formal than it might be in other countries.

[@rabarberellum1017]

@@BRTxNL Indeed. And another thing I thought of is that, especially young folks and most who live in cities or dense areas take a bicycle as means of transportation. Even if it rains a bit or is windy.

[@IsDitGerben]

their*

[@jay38869]

its like, am i gonna wear a plain white shirt or a play grey shirt and that is us dressing up.

[@lunapiensa]

in my experience as a colombian woman it was the opposite, the dutch boy was always wanting to spoil me and pay for everything (but i wouldn’t let him) he was very romantic, sweet and thoughtful, he made me letters, he sent me videos playing guitar to me, he was indeed very down to earth but so passionate and dreamy. he wasn’t really flirty, i made the first move and kissed him. AND YES in our first date i bought a dress and everything and he was in sweatpants. that one’s spot on.

[@jpdj2715]

The clothing is a social class thing, madam. What is socially acceptable in one clique is called "pitbull smoking" in another and that is very pejorative.

[@mariadebake5483]

@@jpdj2715 As is calling someone "madam".

[@jpdj2715]

@@mariadebake5483 - LOL. Yes, you're right if you say it the plain Dutch way. In English it gets a "mad" edge. And then the Franks in France have their madame. It can get worse even in Dutch when we add the prefix "kak" to the madam.

[@mariadebake5483]

@@jpdj2715 If you say it the English way, it also sounds pejorative

[@jpdj2715]

@@mariadebake5483 - it depends on how you pronounce it. "Ma'm" can be very polite and there will be a difference between British English English and other variants

[@NotNateDiaZ]

Wow. I'm 32 and I've just now figured out I've been doing dutch dating all wrong. I'm going to be sending some retroactive Tikkies tonight tho, I can tell you that!

[@wvd07]

That's exactly what I've been thinking. Although, in my defense, I'm 31 so maybe by the time I'll turn 32 I know how to date a girl like a real Dutchman😅

[@rl4137]

alsjeblieft doe het niet

[@StevanOutdoor]

Best advice comes from this Australian dude Patrick. Don't expect a knight in shiny armor spending all his savings to impress you. Just keep it real. It's about getting to know each other. It's the same with Dutch girls. Don't expect them to be swept of their feet because of some fancy car or suit. They really don't care. Just be you. That's what we like to see and we go from there.

[@tuneskramer69]

The tall blond guy with blue eyes, who takes Elizabeth on a date. Lucky guy

[@StatusQuonald]

Godver, ik heb bruin haar. Zo dichtbij.

[@johncama8735]

It would give beautiful children when combined 👌

[@erikg3732]

The splitting bill thing also has another side I think. There are several western women that don't like it when you pay everything because they want to be independent from a man. I dated several western women and I'm half Dutch half Peruvian and I had it quite some times that they didn't want me to pay everything. I think it's healthy if both have financial stability and can afford to pay the other the date if that makes sense

[@jpdj2715]

To be Dutch direct, a Dutch woman may actually only be afraid that she is expected to have sex with you when you have paid the bill - either the chemistry was not there or it was too early in her value system and she needs to test you more. This is the same thing when she does not want expensive presents. Once there is mutual commitment and you had sex, I would be surprised if she refused for you to pay the bill the next time going out. Women can talk victim about emancipation, but let's face it, they have dominated evolution with their partner selection and continue confuse us with their pheromones (called copulins) that seriously confuse men. They subconsciously generally prefer assholes and complain the world is full of them. If you have seen the movie the Stepford Wives, then be aware that reality already invented the concept, only it is the other way around. I'd say that men need to emancipate much more.

[@PS-bs8oe]

@@jpdj2715So u simply mean men are and can remain as......, but as long as they emancipate?! What an optimistic view. Would be more fun im my world, with liberated beings, no genderstickers and clichés. Don't get le wrong, everybody has an a..hole, but most people choose not to show it in public. Prefer to share bright open honest smiles.😊

[@mycosys]

@@jpdj2715 wow, where can i get some of whatever youre on?

[@maudyg_22]

Being a Dutch woman in Latin America I can subscribe to not wanting men to pay for me. It always feels like they want "something" (I leave that up to your imagination) in return.

[@gladtobeangry]

@@mycosys It may be a bit ranty and over the top, but there is some truth in what JP dJ is saying. I've literally had women tell me they wanted explicitly to split the bill so there would be no obligation from either side to each other. There is a transactional thing that when you pay for the dinner it puts some kind of obligation or pressure on the woman to do something in return, and it's implied that that something is sex. Now, there is no actual contract there, stating "well, I paid for the dinner, so now it's your side of the bargain", and I doubt it's what most men actually expect. Don't get me wrong: They'll love it if it actually happens, but most guys have just been raised by their parents to be the gentleman when they go on a date. My dad would pass me a twenty if I went out on a date "so you can treat her like a gentleman" (I'm talking teenage years, when your dates are going to the cinema or the amusement hall, not to a fine restaurant). That's just instilled into men as "being polite" or "being a gentleman". But the implied dynamic is something many women in the Netherlands don't like, which I suppose is more than fair enough. Once you're dating for a while and this pressure is off, you'll be considered galant and generous when you offer to pay the bill. And it's also true that when we talk about consensual relationships (so no rape or coercion involved), it's the women who have most of the power. It is generally up to her to decide if anything intimate is going to happen, and guys just have to keep trying with different women until one of them says yes. That's how dating has worked since before we had language, and it still works that way to a large extent. Men want women, women want financial security, romance, protection, and a whole list of other demands. The reason women like "assholes" is because assholes are usually dominant strong men, and evolutionarily speaking, women are attracted to power, because it offers protection, and strong genes to pass on to your offspring, making them more protected and secure as well. Of course, it also means you'll be more likely to get beaten by your husband, or cheated on, or just used as a slave for the sex and the housekeeping. And it also means there are women who will pass up lovely sweet caring guys because they are "boring" or "not man enough" or "not strong enough" only to choose some macho asshole guy and end up getting treated like absolute shit for the rest of that relationship, until they're fed up, break up, go out and start dating guys exactly like the asshole they just dumped to start the whole cycle over again. Men meanwhile are attracted or not attracted to a woman based mainly on her looks, with very few other factors playing a role in their decision to pursue a relationship with a particular woman or not. They're not going "well, she has a lovely figure, and a beautiful face, and she's a tiger in bed. But when you look at her career path, she doesn't seem to have very high aspirations. So that's a no from me." That hardly ever happens, and if it ever does, it's usually after a 25 year marriage, when the woman's looks have degraded and the guy starts actually noticing her personality for the first time properly, not being distracted by his sexual attraction to her anymore. These are generalisations, and there are exceptions to the rule. But broadly speaking this is how the dynamic still is, even here in the liberal Netherlands. There is emancipation, and there is biology, I suppose. It's a dynamic we're going to have to confront if #metoo is to have any lasting effect, and not just end up as another fad that'll blow over after 2 more Johnny Depps. Women will have to acknowledge that there is a dynamic between men and women that expects and rewards men being assertive, (over)confident, and sexually dominant, and that this can lead to confusing situations. For every woman feeling wronged by Harvey Weinstein or some other Hollywood honcho, there are other women willingly offering up their bodies to rich and powerful men in exchange for success, wealth, status et cetera et cetera. You can try to ignore or deny that, but that doesn't make it any less obviously true. If we really want the dynamic to change it's not just men who need to change, it's also women's expectations and ideals that will have to change. You can't keep blaming men for being assholes, and then keep choosing the worst assholes as partners, or expecting men to be overconfident and assertive as a demand. If you want to get treated nicely, choose nice guys, seems like a pretty basic concept, but I still always see the most arrogant, aggressive and dominant guys having the most success with women.

[@Ilsecool90]

Well, my boyfriend is Serbian and on our first date he asked me if I ever wanted to have children, because he didn't want to waste time. It's not only the Dutch being direct. Hahaha

[@Nexils]

Oof, yes, I dated a Serbian guy for a little while, too. At the end of our very first date he asked me if I wanted to get serious. That was quick. I said no. And soon after he had to move back to Serbia, too. But we're still in touch and he's such a hopeless romantic.

[@mdyusufansari8897]

what that's tooooo much , red signal

[@ericsohn5084]

He needed visa issue cleared, that's why

[@Ilsecool90]

@@ericsohn5084 no need for a visa when moving in Europe. Also, he's been living in the country for 16 years already. So what you're saying isn't true

[@ericsohn5084]

@Ilsecool90 Serbia doesn't belong in EU tho plus he could be on extended visa or even an illegal imm.

[@lauriedepaurie]

I think it's an emancipation thing, why women are not only okay with splitting the bill, but actually expect it and prefer it. I have had female coworkers say it felt belittling and felt things were expected of them when they had someone pay for their date. You pay, you decide, you're autonomous and free to cut off untill you both decide it's worth investing in. My dating experience is very limited (which I consider a luxury), but I could imagine a cheap first date would be a great way to casually see whether or not you enjoy eachothers company. Time is valuable to the Dutch, which is why there's a taboo on wasting time, being late, and keeping up appearances. It also allows you to pick out a second date that you both really enjoy (e.g. you find out you both love sushi, or Italian etc.). Practical? Yes, but not very unromantic if you ask me. Also, I would be less scared to be on the back of a bike of someone I don't know, than in the car of someone I don't know.

[@pepsicolla123]

I think splitting the bill might be more belittling

[@D11r41k]

My first date was amazing 🤩 he took me to a nice place, paid for me, was a real gentleman, was dressed nice, was very interesting to talk to, walked me home as well. That was 6 years ago😍

[@user-tq7wd3zx9t]

What has actually become of this date?

[@gamerwithnoobskill7660]

Why did you breakup.

[@tomholland3806]

Then he must not be Dutch. Since normally the only Dutch guys who does that are rich guys who use you as a sidechick. (coming from a Dutch guy)

[@D11r41k]

@@gamerwithnoobskill7660 we didn't 😉

[@D11r41k]

@@tomholland3806 haha maybe he's an undercover someone else 😅

[@FM_VP]

Ik wil ook op Dutch lesson bij Bart de Pau! Alleen al om tussen al deze gezellige mensen te kunnen zitten. 🥰🥳

[@mariadebake5483]

Seeing they're all speaking English, it doesn't seem you learn much Dutch there.

[@1allanbmw]

Ik had dezelfde gedachte. Lol!

[@LazyDaisyDay88]

These people are great - they really make me laugh. Great vid.

[@RecruiterAbbas]

A little tip from a Dutch...if you like your date, just pay the bill and say "you can pay next time" :)

[@psvensso]

Well then you are not really treating your date, are you? It's just a different way of "going Dutch"

[@rvantong]

The people who's complain about going dutch would then just complain about that

[@kodomotachi1]

I don't understand the whole "doing and dressing specially on dates" that happen in other countries. The goal of dating is finding out if you like the other person for a daily life together, not for IGram. Give me Dutch uniform, bikes, and public transport dates any day!

[@sjonnieplayfull5859]

So... where do I pick you up?

[@DumSpiroSpero90]

YES! The last sentence explains it well!! Also a sucker for their curls here 🙋🏼‍♀️

[@marcusfranconium3392]

Fun fact , the Netherlands has one of the higest percentages of people with green eyes . 10% to be exact. world wide this is 2% on average.

[@ThisIsJakenl]

Ik hou echt van deze videos haha. Ben al een trotse Nederlander maar dit is gewoon grappig want ik begin dan na te denken en dan kom ik tot het besef oh god ik ben echt zo 😂😂😂😂🇳🇱🇳🇱🇳🇱 i just love these videos. I'm already a proud dutchman but this is just so funny because i start thinking about it and then i start to realise oh god I'm really like this way 😂

[@davidalfonso3042]

I love dutsh women looking for true love

[@davidalfonso3042]

I love dutsh women looking for true love

[@brittvdr806]

I'm Dutch and yes, Dutch guys are direct. So are the Dutch women. Direct but polite. No room for misunderstandings and assumptions, simple. Asking questions to get to know the girl is normal, we women do the same. Romance? Yes, Dutch guys know romance. (Or was/am I lucky?) Splitting the bill? I had no change to pay half with my boyfriends and my hubby. But, I ordered drinks myself for us.(And the group if we were in a bar with other ppl) Guys got angry with me lol when I ordered and payed for the drinks. They felt so ashamed about me paying for drinks. But, I wanted to. I don't like to take and not give. Now married for 37 years, we're still equal in our marriage. Financially, household/kids/grandchildren, conversations, building things in/around the house etc. Dutch women are very, very independent. I am. THE reason to split the bill, to not open a door for a girl etc is because we Dutch women can do it ourselves!! So, Dutch guys will treat women from other cultures the same as they have to treat Dutch women I guess. Dutch women are different than women from other cultures. That's for sure. Women are not princesses here in the Netherlands lol. We don't like that. We are equal and want the guys to treat us like equals. In the Noryh of the Netherlands, ppl are even more direct. No waste of words/air, straight to the point, bam, in a polite way.

[@misterpaultje]

I find this video's so amusing (I'm Dutch) not dated a foreign girl but also for the Dutchies very instructive.

[@tadelany71]

I had a very good experience. The man invited me to a Spanish restaurant. It was a perfect date. He asked practical questions first then came the more personal topics.

[@davidalfonso3042]

Hi @tadelany71 How are you Where are you from

[@fatihusn]

Dear Bart I am so sorry to hear about your loss my sincere condolences 💐

[@SapereAude1789]

The part of being very direct, immediately tells me that these people live in the big cities in the center and north of the Netherlands, because where I am from (Brabant, south) we are much more hesitant and holding back when it comes to asking someone questions.

[@kaiberuss]

i think it depends, we can be direct in some ways but in other ways we're more reserved

[@PvoordeW]

Most Dutch girls don't even accept them to get paid for. They do appreciate the offer though

[@sue9861]

So true about the going Dutch part. Dates that I had with foreign men: no splitting the bill. They actually found the mere suggestion of splitting the bill insulting. And Dutch men are very hard to read as they aren't flirty at all (in my experience). Could be a date, could be a business meeting, an outsider wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

[@pepsicolla123]

Why are you suggesting to split the bill?

[@sue9861]

@@pepsicolla123 because I don´t believe in men having to pay for diner, i.e. taking them paying for granted/as a given.

[@RealConstructor]

If the one taking you out on a date doesn’t tell you to dress up, don’t dress up. The date will be casual and not formal. It is as simple as that. And why is it strange to go on a formal date by bike or walking? Is it only formal if you go by car or carriage? And women are equal to men so why should one pay for the other on an equal date? A date is a two sided occasion, so I don’t see any problem in splitting the bill. Or another option is that first date will be paid by one person and the next date will be paid by the other person. If there will be a next date of course… Don’t make it difficult if it is simple.

[@PS-bs8oe]

If you get offended and don't get the joke out of it, you must be feeling shg is wrong and not wanting to admit it. These people are casually observing differences they are adjusting to. It is not in front of à judge. Nederland being exceptionally blunt and Tikkieoriented is a correct observation, quite extraordinaire coming from abroad. In intercultural studies you learn to observe, not to juge, that's the wonderful gift this series offers. It shows the sense of humour of all, the Dutch who make it and the people being interviewed. We learn a lot about their customs. But most of all we learn a lot about ourselves. Nothing wrong with a bit more subtleness and less rigid pragmatic approaches, I would say. Probably also the reason so many Dutch people dream of living in southern laidback countries and vice versa.

[@shoelacedonkey]

They mean that if the woman dresses up more formal, with high heels and a long dress, it would be that much more difficult to ride a bike or go for a long walk. It's all about practicality.

[@vinnieg6161]

I like how we Dutch view men and women equal in many ways

[@colinmorsink9685]

As a Dutch guy, I have no idea where and who these women dated in the Netherlands as where I was born (Noord Brabant) guys will always pay unless the girl insist on splitting the bill. As a matter of fact 'Going Dutch' applies for many other countries dating ethics rather then the the Netherlands, at least brabant and the south of the Netherlands!

[@FirefoxisredExplorerisblueGoog]

Same, me and my mates dress up in a nice dress shirt, trousers and maybe shoes. I do many of the things the interviewees say not to expect. Maybe it's a Randstad (metropolitan West) kind of thing?

[@JosephineInterchannel839]

I have watched series of videos here today. I'm currently dating a Dutch man as an African lady (Nigeria) he's so sweet but ... this channel will guide me a lot. I 🏃‍♂️ to subscribe

[@Denni55]

"Next time I'd like a date in a four wall restaurant" "Alright, McDonalds it is"

[@MsFoxy2011]

Many of these statements are inaccurate. Especially the one saying don’t dress up and go in sneakers. I always wear nice fancy dresses and they absolutely love it. They don’t like heavy make up but definitely appreciate women who dress well and I don’t just do it on dates, I love to dress well most of the time even without a man. That said heels are not necessary mainly because many places have cobblestones

[@tptobias]

Its possible that what you call dress up (which we do love) is seen by foreigners as still casual. Dress up might mean something completely different in those countries. As if you are going out in a three piece suit.

[@Jeroeny]

Exactly I like a nice dress and I would appreciate the effort. But if she doesn't. It wouldn't even come to mind to reject her because of that reason.

[@jelteghtc]

It's appreciated because it shows she puts in effort and is thoughtful, but it's definetely not necessary.

[@sjorsvdwal]

Just be yourself. Being open minded and honest always worked for me.

[@BobWitlox]

This was really one sided (for the most part), a foreign woman dating a Dutch man. What about a foreign man dating a Dutch woman?

[@Darkdayzz]

I would say that (western) women are mostly the same every where. They expect you to pay the first date etc etc

[@frogdust1872]

I feel like it’s the same, splitting the bills dress casual, go on a relaxed date of some coffee or walk

[@PS-bs8oe]

You didn't get the joke, no foreign man will be able to find highheels long enough to be able to catch up with her and bike as fast as her😆

[@mariadebake5483]

Yes it's always about a foreign woman dating a Dutch man, never the reverse. I noticed it too, it's always like this. Don't know why.

[@carlarossi6399]

@@PS-bs8oe my cousin, who s from South Italy, is 1.95 cm...;)

[@TheOBOM]

... and here I am, a normal, typical Dutch 'guy' (I'm a little over 60 by now), having dressed up for every first date I had ... Well, not totaly in suit and tie (didn't wear that kind of clothing untill much later in my life) but heck yes, I made sure I was clean shaven and looked smart in what I then considered my best shirt and trousers and never ever wearing sneakers on a first date. That's simply not done by my standards. And also yes: I held the door for her, payed the bill and helped her in her coat when we left ... but there were also women that payed the bill for me, be prepared for that also, because this is The Netherlands where women are expected to be independant. I always liked that: leave the initiative with her, but always, always, always be a Gentleman!! 'Cause everybody likes to be treated with respect.

[@ronaldderooij1774]

I am 58 and even I consider that as old-fashioned..... But whatever suits you of course!

[@yanam1400]

Absolutely amazing video 😅

[@asiyekurunc55]

Voor alles bedankt 💐

[@mariusb5150]

I am very Dutch, Hollander, to be more precise and I've never ever made a woman pay on a first date. I did experience women, not accepting me paying for everything though.

[@stephenschwab7143]

Hey, wait a minute! I didn't realize there was so much Dutch culture in Seattle! :)

[@ruthsingleton7753]

i dont know who these people know, but my Dutch husband , is just the opposite , he pays for my meal , he isnt stingy, , BUT he is very direct , and is 6'7 and i am 5'1 ,LOL so to hell with heels, bur he is practical, grounded, and sometime being direct , it gives you that kick of a challenge, so hey , being american for some it seems rude , but they are honest with questions lol , I could say some things about American dudes lol , but hey , to each his own, and alot of the dutch men are tall and handsome lol.and when they find the right woman they will tell you

[@boxie001]

the nuance came in the end. gelukkig.

[@ImJustJ.]

Because there's no games and chasing and all that, dates are not performative. You spend time together to genuinely get to know the other person to see if there's a fit. It lets you be yourself more.

[@SjaakSchulteis]

Nice girl from Tanzania... she's really cute... but what she said about the questions she's got about her previous experience doesn't seem to me normal... anyway this was again a very nice fun video! Loved it.

[@Lillith.]

There are also Dutch men who take you to nice restaurants, dress up, pick you up with a car, open doors for you, and refuse to split the bill. The first 4 are nice, the 5th is a big turn off for me.

[@Mmmeeee4]

The 5th is a problem because of his refusal instead of just suggesting to pay for the bill?

[@Lillith.]

@@Mmmeeee4 I hate people paying for me. I'm a bit hypocritical though, because I love paying for other people and wouldn't readily accept their refusal to split.

[@Jeroenhermanjan]

Tikkie maat, werkt goed man

[@Lillith.]

@@Jeroenhermanjan alleen als je er een krijgt, maat

[@Jeroenhermanjan]

@@Lillith. haha klopt, maar zeker gelukt delen alles en beide gelukkig. Niet te moeilijk doen, leven is kort zat

[@Haileysfinds]

This video made me think if my husband is really dutch hahahahaha

[@hinkebaukje1]

I was engaged within 3 months and married at 6months. My hushand and i are both Dutch.

[@mycosys]

LOL it really doesnt sound all that different from Aussie dating. Pretty casual, tho we are more likely to alternate on the shouts going out rather than splitting. Would have been interesting to hear more from the Aussie - i'm guessing he had very little dating culture shock lol.

[@jelteghtc]

I recognize a lot of similarities between the aussies and the Dutch, although I personally find aussies way friendlier and happier!

[@ronnnie_tober]

Amazing content

[@venecapop2548]

I'm so lucky with my dutchie 😂❤️

[@lifeofmiles]

Febo ? Take ur Wallet with you :)) Going dutch ! İ know why my Dutch partner picked me ( yes im not Dutch )

[@bamikroket]

"Next time I would prefer to eat in a four-wall restaurant". Well done to the guy, immediately has a second date sorted :)

[@lordbacon2766]

The Dutch guy who took out the girl to FEBO on the first date is my spirit animal. hahahah

[@jpdj2715]

4:14 - she says, "don't be expecting that a man will open the door for you." Well, madam, the gentleman's etiquette is to not open the door for you when you two enter into a room full of strangers, but instead he goes in front of you to shield you off from the impolite looks of other men.

[@grachoderunwiderstehlichen]

YES , at all provinces the "girls" are very very shy ...they can walk like a supermodel , they have a job , they dress up very fine like modern times are , they could have much much more self confidance , they do not arrived with a traktor etc.....but they faces turn red and all this beautys say -not the first word!!! (oh dears , in winter it is not Zonnenbrand )

[@drPiotrNapieraa]

waneer nieuve avleveringen van Heb je Zin? Groeten uit Polen!

[@anime_cyko]

Seems like people are confusing direct from rushing. Relationships are not something to rush into so asking about a third date and where this is going so soon isn’t direct, it’s rushing and arguably inconsiderate.

[@clip012]

Dating a Dutch guy in South East Asia. Been on 3 dates now, going on 4. These videos makes so much sense. But as a modern woman I do pay, I am the type who whoever ask for the date pays. But he doesn't talk about feelings yet, may be he is not interested in me.

[@hamishmackinnon2231]

I'm not entirely familiar with Dutch culture, so I'd appreciate it if someone could explain the terms FEBO and tikkie.

[@yourlocalstudent5855]

FEBO is a snackbar where the door is very often non existing or the fourth wall so you just stand finish your snack and go and tikkie is like Venmo

[@johannessugito1686]

A tikkie is a bank app whereby you can request for a payment. So, basically a simple and fast bank transfer by your mobile phone for up to Euro 750.

[@Jeroeny]

And to maybe give some context to the FEBO(snackbar) situation. There is no worse possible place thinkable to go eat something on a date. Literally.

[@Frankie_Fish]

A FEBO is basically a vendingmachine wall with deep fried snacks on the outside of a building. Insert a coin, open the little door and get your snack. No seating, or anything. I wouldn't advice doing it on a first date, it's practically worse than going to McDonald's. 🤣

[@johannessugito1686]

@@Jeroeny It indicates how the guy rates his date 😄

[@Kvh47]

We just believe in equality, both partners can handle themselves. which means they are capable of paying for their own meal and they are capable of getting out of the car or getting a chair without help.

[@cassius878]

my wife on our first date taught me the phrase "mag ik de rekening". i got played.

[@Smilies-hb3mr]

P.s. They are talking about stereotypes. Wich means they only know what they hear about the Dutch. Tall - Tikkie - blonde & blue eyes, bikes, all stereotype talking.

[@paolagrando5079]

It sounds more like their experiences

[@Smilies-hb3mr]

@@paolagrando5079 agree. i mean. do they want to give everything to a person to be (maybe) get disapointed in the end?

[@johnfred2689]

Ik denk dat ik dan geen nederlander ben, eindig altijd met het betalen van de rekeningen en zorg altijd dat ik een net gestreken overhemd aan heb.

[@maraalb8143]

My dutch fiance is a true gentleman. He opens the door, he pulls the chair, buys me flowers and I have never payed for anything. Its all about standards and the type of relationship you will accept.

[@asnoopy]

3:36 ah this is when I miss non-Dutch guys hahaha. A shirt in nice trousers..

[@adelebennet1638]

Lovely 😂😂

[@robvanlent1008]

Well I told my gf , 1 million times, go away! You can do much better than me. Just find yourself a better man! But she was more stubborn than me! So now she is a fiance. You can not beat stubborn. Philippine girl, as a dutch guy.

[@NghtMonster]

I am a Filipina (How we refer to as a Philippine woman), and my boyfriend is Dutch and I can say the Stubbornness is a tough challenge and not for the weak! 😁

[@ronnie9187]

Hahaha. The FEBO. That is for the Dutch equal to the local "haute cuisine". At least I hope you could pick and choose your own menu from the little windows ?

[@JurgendeMooij]

"My boyfriend invited me on a first date to FEBO. And afterwards I said: 'next time I'd prefer to eat in a four-wall restaurant." McDonalds it is!

[@dispiedark8682]

We treat our ladies as equals. It's about having respect for the person as a individual. Being a sexist gentleman won't impress a dutch girl: Holding a door for a lady, our ladies are strong enough to open their own doors and they will tell you that. Paying for a lady suggest to the lady in question is she poor, and is unable to earn her own money. A Dutch girl will tell you i can pay my own bills, thank you. I do like romantic dinners in a good restaurant, but yeah black blouse and jeans is about as fancy as it gets. But I impressed more with being able to cook a nice dinner for my date.

[@carlarossi6399]

I like to pay a dinner to my dutch partner once a while , but if at the first date he invited me to Febo, we were not a couple now.

[@jibster5903]

Hahaha I love this!

[@00wheelie00]

If I invite my date I will attempt to pay and I am Dutch. But usually that ends with a protest that's not worth fighting 😁

[@lgvanderbroek]

I will never ever let the woman pay half of the bill on a first date. I think (and hope) most dutch man agree.

[@saturner420]

I’m tall blonde and have bleu eyes…normally i hear those combinations in a history setting..and i’ll be putting on my hat and shades lol

[@PendelSteven]

Well, on the Valentine-episode of Sesamstraat I did see this classic from 1990, I think: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aoO3fJtomLOKrdE Also, please tell me if you knew the original... I didn't get why the music was like that, I'm pretty sure when I first saw it, but now I know, haha!

[@MyNino]

Never was asked to go to FEBO! Would have loved it😂. ….and pay for my own croquet🤣of course🥳👍

[@Smilies-hb3mr]

Lesson for al: A Dutch person dont want you to be independant. Show that you can handle yourself. We only are there for you as a person. We don't want you to be materialistic (also called: A golddigger) Love is a thing between 2 people. not of what u can give or have.But about who you are. We dutch are also not rich, we get drained by taxes.

[@Smilies-hb3mr]

@@manskracht yes./ thank you...bad english :)

[@prcs420]

Je hebt gelijk over de belastingen. De benzineprijzen zijn belachelijk🤯

[@guuskillah]

'drained by taxes' you make it sound like its a bad thing. See it as an investment in society. You want a lot of homeless people, high medical bills and a lot of lunatics like in the USA?

[@Smilies-hb3mr]

@@guuskillah lol. i bet you're not Dutch

[@lightningbolt9756]

@@Smilies-hb3mr denk het wel aangezien hij geheim heet en ook een goed punt maakt. Belastingen zijn niet relaxt maar wel voor een groter goed

[@jpdj2715]

The opening phrase in the video: YOLO paired with Honeybadger don't care

[@confianza567]

I like the way Dutch people do direct way 😉 similar to my way

[@codex4046]

"wear sneakers and jeans, and that's it" well then 👀

[@RogierYou]

Thats what you get in a truly emancipated society 😂

[@charlottevanlangevelde1114]

Hey, if a man wants to stands under my window with a guitar and sing me a serenade he is very welcome to!

[@p.s.5135]

Where did they get these stories ... he took me to febo .can believe that maybe one guy

[@MsMeGUka]

I went out with a dutch guy and he did all the opposite things pls help does it mean that this person is really into me or what :D ? he basically did all the things that are favourable for my culture.

[@ndeeka]

The Dutch uniform.😂

[@saraxadam3659]

hii would love some videos about queer life + culture in the Netherlands!

[@youngiizzy8933]

⏮⏮±2349047831758⏭⏭ Hello it's work I can't believe am with my lover again message her she can you too ..........,,,

[@rayramirez5799]

Shit, I am dutch but I never went dutch, I could have saved a lot money!

[@constantinrohrbach2878]

Ik dacht dat dit een kanaal was om nederlands te leren. Op de een of andere manier heb ik het gevoel dat dit gaat over Engels spreken. Waarom is dat?

[@glennis-dankuwel6020]

Hahaha, Dutch guys really pick u up in a bike 🚴 & u must sit on the back 😅 too funny. Going Dutch in America is w/someone u don’t like but ok different culture. Nice to know ahead of time. I’ve been to Amsterdam 4 times, and I can say Dutch ppl r very laid back. Like Italian men Dutch ppl don’t rush for anything. Once I ran across the street & when I turned everyone was looking 👀 at me like she must be a tourist. But, it was very easy to talk to Dutch girls & men. I felt safe in Amsterdam. My girlfriend was a little fiery, so when she came to pick me up up I had to say don’t argue w/ ppl here they don’t like it. She’s a red headed Irish ☘️ girl & they argue sometimes but Dutch men don’t like it. Waiting for her son at the Airport she kept running 🏃‍♂️ in & out of the TSA area near the Cruiseline & I had to explain to the cop 👮‍♀️ she’s from NYC please don’t arrest her bc she’s a crazy New York woman. Lol 😂

[@inkoma]

My condolences Bart.

[@krizzje1981]

OMG, I really don't fit in though I'm 100% Dutch... I do pick up the bill and open doors and help with the chair and such (common decency) things...

[@_PJW_]

Rule #1 is : a Dutchie wants to date who you *are*, not who you *pretend to be*.

[@sajanim]

As an "old" Dutchman, I am appalled by all I hear. When I grew up, we most certainly opened doors, we stood up for ladies, and we NEVER split the bill. I ask you out, I PAY. I guess I better stay in Canada, this is NOT the Holland I grew up in. :(

[@jeroenslaghout]

@@BrianFarro yes, a true Dutch gentleman will do that. Although the younger generation will break with these conventions. (I'm 40 by the way)

[@videoJunke1]

To be far on going dutch. Classic approach would be that the guy pays the bill, but that is not always appreciated buy the ladies as they feel independent as well and can pay for them selfs. For gay people its becomes even more complicated so yes I would offer to pay.

[@straycatvandalen]

FEBO hahaha, geweldig, waarom ook niet?

[@rl4137]

i live in the netherlands 🇳🇱 not all dutch guys are the same but other then their looks nothing else goes in their favor

[@jelteghtc]

Could you elaborate for us dutch guys?

[@rl4137]

@@jelteghtc nou , ik woon in het noorden en sommige mannen hier zijn goed en sommige mannen zijn niet maar gelukkig maar heb ik nog geen tikkie van een date gehad xD 🤣

[@rl4137]

@@jelteghtc en jullie zijn knap maar qua persoonlijkheid en mannelijke gedragt jullie zijn wat achter vergelijken met sommige andere nationaliteiten

[@SIG442]

A Dutch guy doesn't want to waste his time on a woman that doesn't know what she wants or just wants to play around. If you ask him, he probably will answer that if you want to play around to go to a kindergarten, you are an adult now, behave like one. It isn't meant to insult or to make fun of you, it's a straight to the point 'I don't want to do the BS games, either yes or no will do'. For Dutch men not chasing women, well that's largely because women seem to sit on their high horses which Dutch guys absolutely HATE. If you want to chase him off, act like that. Same with acting bossy or thinking you can have multiple men at the same time, he will NOT tolerate that. He won't chase after you anymore because women tend to be thinking they should be the princess all the time, another thing he doesn't like. This goes back to the saying 'doe maar normaal, dan doe je al gek genoeg' (act normal because you act weird enough as it is). You are not someone super special or rare, for you 1 million other options. And yes, if you like him, just tell him. Stop playing games or thinking he will understand your flirty behavior. He may see it, he may understand what you are trying to do. But that doesn't mean he will go after you, specially with today's bs leftist culture completely destroying men for no good reason. He wants to be sure you are not one of those crazies that will ruin his life for no good reason. So the best way is to just step up to him and tell him about your feelings. You get either a yes or a no. Dating is also... Not really a thing as you may know in your own country. He won't try his best to seduce you, the first date is more a introduction and directly figuring out whether he would like to see you again or not. Whether you have a job and won't be that leech in his life sucking his wallet dry. In the Netherlands both men as women work, they both get income into the household and he needs to know if you are up for that or not. Same for how expensive you are, are you buying a lot of clothes, shoes, or other things for example. A Dutch man shops mostly to replace something that is in actual need of replacement, he most likely only has a few pants and shirts for a long time to keep it simple and cheap. He doesn't want a woman that tries to fill every shelve with her clothes and shoes or with pointless junk (like toys or other crap that she doesn't actually need) You could say it's a business deal between 2 people that involves love. It may seem odd and rude to you, but it actually makes a lot of sense for your future together. (I did not include the scummy men for obvious reasons)

[@iaf4454]

Too long hahaha

[@listeningtothevoid]

It seems all those people think we dutch men are do not want to those things considered romantic, like opening the door, etc. In my experience it aso are the the dutch women who sometimes feel not respected as an independent women when you do.

[@SamuelNasta]

2:28 😮 Red Queen, is that you?

[@47rintin1]

It might happen that Dutch people want to split the bill after a drink or a meal, although I can't give an example out of my experiences. I would say: what's wrong with that? Why would you pay the whole bill; the one complaining about that didn't pay the whole bill herself as well. These ladies want to be treated equally, but if it comes to money .....

[@StefandeKo]

Ik ben Engels en ik kan Nederlands bedankt 😃