Learning to be me after ADHD diagnosis - masking - overwhelm - other people’s misconceptions

I feel like, at 36, my ADHD diagnosis has given me permission to start to be me. It’s helped me to understand myself. But my god other people’s comments can be so ignorant and upsetting! And it’s hard to accept that a lot of people preferred the ‘fake’ me (not fake on purpose, I was just trying to appear normal and fit in) - my circle may be small now, but at least it’s real.
What’s your story?
#adhd
#adhdmanagement
#adhdprobs

[@Hermitthecog]

Relatable. Middle-aged late-diagnosed AuDHD here, and the struggle has gotten harder with age. It takes a while to put oneself back together again after diagnosis but the hardest part is realizing that the neurotypical world just carries on expecting that it deserves to have its own needs met ahead of everyone else's. Even (especially!) on the days we haven't got the energy to self-advocate, don't be afraid to be rude in your own defense!✊

[@managingtheoverwhelm]

Good point! I have definitely surprised people with my honesty. If I offend them then I just think, oh well, it’s one less person to deal with! Thanks so much for your input. It makes a difference to me x

[@SolASMR_]

You’re not alone. You’re not crazy. And there’s so many people out there that deal with what you described. I have also been diagnosed with ADHD and I’ve lost a lot of friends in the past because they just couldn’t understand why I made plans and wouldn’t go through with them. Or why I was always late even though I would try my very best. Or forgetting friends birthday’s. I now have a group of friends (which most have either ADHD are autistic or both) and they get it. You just need to find your crowd. As for the symptoms themselves I would suggest you look up KZbin videos on the ones that really take a massive toll. I have tried meds and they are really a life changer in case you wanted to go that route. It’s all a learning experience. I’m glad you’ve chosen to be yourself and not what others expect of you. ❤

[@managingtheoverwhelm]

That is the most helpful and possibly nicest comment ever! Many thanks x

[@chrissir4666]

I feel your pain... I was diagnosed at 51 about 7yrs ago. It is SO hard to live with mainly because of people's ignorance, as though we don't feel useless enough, the denial of its existence makes me enraged! Keep strong, medication helps 👍🏼

[@user-bq5jg2mr6k]

I can totally relate to every word you said. Just know, we ADHDrs are a very small minority and I think its best we don't tell people at work or socially that we are adhd. Even family don't understand 100% of the time. Discrimination is real and we already judge ourselves, we don't need others judging us. You can still say 'I dont understand 'at work etc but I wont tell them I have adhd. People can assume we are mental cases and get us mixed up with other mental disorders etc. Being diagnosed allows us to finally be us and understand why the we are the way we are. Our challenge is experimenting with all the different ways to get through this life the best that suits us. Watch as many adhd help videos as you can until someone or something clicks. For example, I feel overwhelmed with everything at the moment because I have a lot of house work to do. So I watch adhd videos on YT about cleaning and routines and I tweaked one for me. It goes like this. Wake up. Do not check your phone or go online when you wake up, stay in that morning sleepy state as long as you can. Those brainwaves are super good for us ADHDrs. Go to the toilet. Drink a large cup of spring or filtered water. Then fill up another one and have it on hand. Read a motivational book for as long as you can. The goal is an hour. Do what you can. Drink a cup of coffee or tea while reading. Once finished, put on motivational adhd binary music . Then start off with 5 minutes cleaning, doing the easiest thing you can do first. See how you feel, can you do another 5 mins or can you do a15 min stint? Set a timer. Do what you can then make a healthy breakfast ( no need for drugs, just eat healthy, drink plenty of non chlorinated water and take supplements etc) adhd drugs have side effects and can eventually destroy your body, mind and health. Make your food while listening to adhd music, binary beats. Relax while eating then wash up and clean up afterwards. Have a 10 minute rest then go for a walk or do some yoga etc Have a shower. Rest. Listen to brown noise or white binary sounds or a guided meditation. Wake up. Do another 5 minute clean, see how you feel, can you extend that to 15 minutes? Rest for 5 minutes, continue until you have either cleaned enough or you are tired and cant do anymore 5 and 15 min cycles. GOOD WORK, you did more than you thought you could today. Modify this to your life and energy and positively support yourself during the day. We can do this, bit by bit on our own terms. We are unique beautiful creatures, living in a world that doesn't understand us. So we have to treat ourselves with kindness and understanding. We have suffered enough, be patient and remember to smile at ourselves. Best of luck. Love and hugs to all my fellow ADHDrs out there in the big wide world. We are all humans of varying capacities, living on this spinning globe hurtling through space, nothing can be weirder than that!

[@managingtheoverwhelm]

Great advice! Thank you.