Lecture on Narcissism by Dr. Alfried Laengle - 20/04/2017

[@kristenforsythe5994]

That was one of the most brilliant and compassionate descriptions of NPD I 've come across. Dr. Laengle provides hope, shines a light through a long dark journey, and doesn't abandon us as he leads us through. Thank you, with deep appreciation and gratitude.

[@christianlewarth9805]

ü⁰

[@t-knitting]

This is the most comprehensive and clearest explanation on narcissism I have found on KZbin. Perfect!✨

[@denisemangan1413]

This lecture was thoroughly educational. This answered a few questions I had about my narcissistic mother. 1. Why my mother kept overly buying household goods in her life 2. She seemed happy workaholic- façade management 3. Always dissatisfied & irritated with people- she didn’t know how to empathise 4. Controlled all our lives- I developed Anorexia Nervosa& OCD 5. Couldn’t reciprocate a compliment- once she went into shock 6. Always displayed a haughty manner around most people- especially relatives 7. Reminded us as children (with disdain) how she had a physically abusive childhood- & we should be so lucky 8. Unable to provide love 9. Physically & emotionally abusive 10. Obese most of her life-addiction 11. Made snide remarks about our friends 12. I was devalued & scapegoated by my mother & family-even though my father sexually abused myself & my siblings 13. She told me “Your mine” 14. Bought expensive Christmas presents 15. Never talked about herself on a personal level 16. Always treated others as a threat My way of intereaction with her- as a child- with her behaviour & attitude was to observe her ( like I was watching a play), don’t react if she becomes antagonistic or of want, kept my head down, answer as little as possible & as necessary, grey rocking & ghosting. Most of the time I tried to find value within & without myself. As I got older I got away & stayed away.

[@francisnkum9179]

Woow! I'm just curious, how could your dad handle that ?

[@denisemangan1413]

@@francisnkum9179 He lived in a world of his own. He sexually abused us. As children we were objects. Both parents were abnormal people. My sister & brother are narcissists & I don’t say that lightly. For example, he was told by his daughter that she has inoperable brain tumour & all he could say was ‘You have a nice rubbish bin’

[@SamStone1964]

Do you have any siblings?

[@mosup5007]

Starts at 6:55

[@saladfingers.]

Thank you

[@anjaweber6471]

What a kind and compassionate approach. Thanks for sharing.

[@xyzmedia5161]

I feel like this describes me very well. I feel like I am cursed to be a person stuck in a glass box. Isolating one's self from everybody has been a way for me to cope with this, but it's not easy. I don't know what to do. Paradoxically I had more people in my life when I was acting as an unaware NPD personality. I hoped knowledge like the sort found in this video would set me free, but I seem to have been paralyzed by it at this stage. How does one rebuild a healthy ego from 0? Anyway, thank you for Dr.Längle for a video that is sympathetic towards the Narc personality. Seems like the outside world views them as complete monsters. For me, it genuinely feels like an evil curse, that deep down I am perhaps evil myself and I was born that way, but at least I can restore some level of sympathy for this condition when I consider that it is post-traumatic. If the Narc wasn't like the way he is he would have perhaps been even worse. It's a defensive mechanism that saved them from total destruction, mentally speaking. But. At what cost? It really hallows out my heart to consider this.

[@Fefe559]

I feel the same & wonder, think, perhaps I am one too, your comment is relatable!

[@pmost8087]

I hear you 💯%

[@jenniferarnold-delgado3489]

@@pmost8087 I have been studying memory , memory platforms , NFT art , and birth trauma . I believe that the reason why people with Narcissism are having a hard time resolving their issues is because 1- The normal memory platform is the maternal matrix , who probably was co traumatized during the birth of the child ( you ) 2- the trauma bond was pre verbal , its not something you can talk about 3- vision and feeling and emotion ( three different things ) need a memory platform upon which to structure , I have been doing these underwater mermaid images , which are about breathless experience inside of the womb eternal , pre birth . I believe that going underwater is a place of healing for people who had trauma upon emergence . Coming up for air , over and over again , may allow the self isolationer to begin to breathe with the expectation of non traumatized breath , I believe that you may need 40 ( wandering in the desert ) experiences of emerging and finding air , to finally trust that the earth is waiting to serve you .

[@hankhill3417]

You can’t be self aware and a narcissist! They have zero empathy or ability to look within

[@xyzmedia5161]

@@hankhill3417 I guess I'm somewhere on the spectrum. It's not so black and white. Most people have traits of Narcissism, it's just a question of degree. I've stopped being so obsessed about the Narc label specifically. Maybe Cluster B as a whole is a better term to describe an umbrella of emotionally disregulated post-traumatic personalities. I seem to be a mix of all 4 personality disorders described, particularly histrionic and narcissistic, maybe a bit borderline, not so much anti-social. In any case if you become self-aware but don't change your behavior the outside observer couldn't tell the difference.

[@juliechristianson8009]

This is the best analysis of NPD I have come across. Thank you so much Doctor.

[@tmking7483]

Being traumatized by caregivers ( they neglect you or worship you) if you internalize their immaturity you get to be codependent ,_ if you externalize their immaturity you get to be narcy. It's a game of snakes and ladders with musical chairs w hot potatoes as a prize_ just stop playing the game _and PEACE happens

[@christofstanits]

an excellent talk! especially the part on how to live with them was a complete different approach than anything I would have thought of but now makes so much sense to me. thank you Dr Längle

[@DaveMc.]

To watch this over 1.5 hours was easy because this man is very good and expressive. Now, I don´t think it is a he puts it. I don´t think one can live nicely with a narcissist. Their rigidity destroys families nerves system. The only way is to numb your self with some type of drug and accept that you have to say yes to everything for the rest of your life and even so people around them will never get anything right. Even if they get it right it will never be good enough. Normally they don´t seek therapy, so that´s something that also the others will have to do in order to survive living with a narcissist. Of course one feels sorry for a narcissistic person, also for a psychopath and so on, because something at some point of their lives must to have gone very wrong inside them and I want to assume it must to be painful. But still, reality is that they can be manipulative to the extrem and this is torture for people they are related to. Still, a pleasure watching this conference sice I have learn a lot, and fantastic to have known about the existence of Dr. Laengle.

[@bellakrinkle9381]

I believe that there is a Spectrum for Narcissists, as there is for Autism. These realities are not related, yet all Narcs are not the same, although many characteristics seem to be shared in various degrees.

[@le_th_]

Yes, they make the people around them very ill, often with cancer (especially when there is little to no history in their family). They destroy their children, if not making them develop personality disorders, they make the children physically sick with disease, or they destroy the child's nervous system. Awful human beings, even at the milder end of the pathological spectrum.

[@drichard12]

I can't hear him. Volume is all the way up yet he's still a whisper. Why didn't anybody anticipate I would be trying to listen and correct the volume first?

[@AWMul]

I literally can fix all of this within seconds with more power

[@anoshya]

So upset he never mentioned me in the talk

[@thecustodian1023]

This sort of explains why narcissists can be so badly tripped up and taken down by psychological counterplay that most people over the age of 10 would see right through. Same with why when they feel threatened they will use meaningless accusations and projectionistic word games that are more fitting to a spoiled 5-year-old having a temper tantrum than an actual rational adult reasoning out a rough situation.

[@ClusterBombed01]

This is exactly why Transactional analysis is such an important tool to have in your locker!

[@Helena-to9my]

the self loathing comes before the narcissistic construction? Is it a defense from self hate?

[@onemondaynight]

Could you please adjust the volume and re-upload?

[@DaveMc.]

: ), Put your self some headphones so you can listen because I sense what the doctor is explaining is of your interest!!!

[@ruthh5199]

I agree- the volume isn't particularly loud- not helpful when you have a hearing loss

[@alteredcatscyprus]

What does a layman do when someone like this comes to them and lays their suicidal thoughts on them? I’m overwhelmed by this person and I told them so. I recommended professional help, it was rejected. I do feel empathy for them but I am also aware this is too dark and complex and insidious for me

[@cassandraseven3478]

I had to file a restraining order against an NPD neighbor. I listened to a lot of people like The Little Shaman for free moral support during the time I had to put up with her, constantly trying to avoid contact. They can't be helped. The Little Shaman says she pities them, but they know right from wrong and it doesn't matter. Arrested development.

[@petershaw2566]

I think this ego bridge between our inner self and the external world in some cases is rickety but partially , to a small degree, still operational. This woman I know is assiduously nurturing and promoting her young son but clealy she has a degree of the personality disorder - it rests ìn a spectrum as have noticed her rage against me and another person over maybe five cents of subjective, perceived frustration to deliver a huge amount of rage followed by months of 🔕 Something happened in her formative years which is now irreversible 😐

[@bambacska]

Wow, thank you!❤

[@toneranger]

Very interesting but hard to hear the volume is considerably lower than that of the introducer.

[@jakecarlo9950]

Genuinely outstanding presentation. Very grateful.

[@ryanhiley4301]

Volume is way too low can’t hear with headphones

[@tone3560]

Skip to 7:05 for the actual lecture

[@mhallett364]

Volume too low to hear :(

[@tdang9528]

1:46 is the best parr

[@mementopodcast]

Why read?

[@santiagoazpilcueta6100]

Gracias, que lastima que no este subtitulado!

[@Madronaxyz]

I am reading your note in November of 2022. I checked and the video has subtitles available now.

[@susanagomez5064]

The first 7 minutes are only their own advertising! Also the sound should be improved. The talk is slow, I have been watching for an hour and haven't really learned anything I hadn't heard before in every single video about narcissism...

[@Tidoublemy]

So then why the hell did you watch? The doctor spoke eloquently about the subject. You sound like a b!tch.

[@helenachase5627]

You sound like a narcissist , lol !

[@rv706]

"Speak to this lovely woman" ... It's not meant in a bad way, but still sounds a bit condescending. What if it was a man instead? How would "Speak to this lovely man" sound?

[@beeracks4446]

sounds the same, dumbass.

[@Cookson66]

Get a grip ! This is what’s wrong with the world .. .. lots of times people refer to the “ lovely man who lives over the road “ or “ the lovely man who helped me in the supermarket”.. you’re just looking for faults!

[@artandculture5262]

The intellectual construct took away your natural person.

[@Robocop-qe7le]

Probably a narcissist rage lol

[@le_th_]

@@Robocop-qe7le Are you PROJECTING rage onto someone? No one in this threat is demonstrating anything that could be characterized as rage. YOU are attempting to interject it via PROJECTION. Guess who PROJECTS their own flaws onto others in an attempt to not feel shame about how imperfect they are??? narcissists lol You tell on yourself by what you PROJECT onto strangers: like rage when no rage is present.

[@nononouh]

24 34

[@Helena-to9my]

he is over generalizing.

[@damienpace7350]

Congrats, you've just described the female personality

[@le_th_]

Somebody lacks nuanced thinking and instead has all-or-nothing thinking patterns. 4+ billion females in the world. You embarass yourself. smh

[@janefaceinthewind6260]

Not always true. Generalisations are misleading and rob you of the potential experience to encounter women who are real human beings.

[@damienpace7350]

@@dankjared He/him so you're gay right and married to a dude?

[@ivandate9972]

narcissism . the greatest gift for human , form God

[@Pieceofpeace43]

This approach on narcissistic personality is kind and empathetic. Wonderful conference. But can I ask : treating the person with such distance and compassion is it possible in the real Life ? Can we survive the abuse, the manipulation, the « only me » personality ? In love relationship above all ? I loved my ex narc like no one before and iam in no contact right now…