let's learn about the Autistic Experience in Japan

[@山田太郎-c8u2h]

I'm Japanese and was born and raised in Japan. I'm also autistic and have ADHD. I was ostracized and was even hit by my teachers in school. Since Japanese society prioritizes collectivism, if you are the majority, you can live very easily. However, if you aren't it's hard for you to live in Japan. So, I decided to get out of this country when I was in elementary school. They say that "the nail that sticks out is the one that gets hammered down." That's exactly what I experienced. People, in Japan, expect you to be normal.

[@EMVelez]

I hope you’re doing better now, wherever you are. ❤

[@ryno4ever433]

Gotta tell you, it's not because Japan values collectivism. This is a global phenomenon. Happened to me in the hyper individualistic USA.

[@Cynlewis2]

XOXOXO

[@rina22fm]

​@@ryno4ever433 True, it's basically everywhere but I believe in Japan it's really another level and the society as a whole it's like that. Other times it might just depends on luck, that the people around you, are they all mean and jerks or somebody with more understanding.

[@rina22fm]

And to op, it must have been hard, and making that decision(or carrying it out?) that early is impressive. Hope you are having a better life now.

[@mistressmelia]

I have lived in Japan for 13 years (originally from Australia) and have just been diagnosed with AuDHD here in Japan. For me, even before starting to think about autism, Japan was a perfect fit. Not much sensory overload, very strict rules around communication, no outward aggression… as a foreigner in Japan I will always be the nail that sticks out, so I get a lot of leeway from society that people born and raised in Japan (and look Japanese) may not have. They automatically assume I can’t read the air anyway, and don’t expect it of me. I will probably live here for the rest of my life, but it will be interesting to see how my Japanese daughter navigates her school years.

[@villagetraveller9160]

Hi my son autism in india how much hee learn

[@adelehammond1621]

I live in the UK I have major issues with not being able to identify hidden rules so I brake them without knowing I m unable to mask as well as others

[@christineh86]

The hikikomori term in Japan that they mention is very interesting world wide connected to autism. Many autistic people get a life like that.. isolated, most of us not voluntarily

[@thethoughtspot222]

Sorry! I had to re-upload since there were some editing mistakes in the original 😅

[@tudormiller887]

❤

[@laura.bseyoga]

I love that term "reading the air" - it's so accurate!! It really does feel like I'm trying to understand & interpret the invisible/ intangible when I'm masking my way through NT society 🤣

[@ZDoreTyr]

15:50 this makes me think of something I heard of called double empathy. And it sounds like what you are describing. Doing extra emotional (and mental) labor to make up for the LACK thereof on the other person’s part 😭 I kept telling the “NT” individuals in my life to stop twisting my words and take them at face value. They create COUNTLESS misunderstandings etc 💕

[@mayatenshi]

Yeeeeees

[@absentmindedgenesequencing7020]

Not to mention, coming to terms with always being a little isolated. New research shows that Neurotypical and allistic people subconsciously identify us and exclude us and enjoy talk to us even when we mirror perfectly. I still haven’t come to grips with always having this subconscious separation because they sense my differences.

[@sarahlongstaff5101]

Yes, and we’re a magnet for abusive people, too.

[@christinelamb1167]

I have experienced this my entire life, starting as a child. I am seen as "different", no matter how hard I try to mask and mirror! I get treated differently and also spoken to differently, and most of the time I don't think the other person even realizes they're doing it, or why. I do think it is often subconscious on their part. It hurts to always feel separated from the rest of the world, as if there's an unseen wall between me and everyone else.

[@absentmindedgenesequencing7020]

@@christinelamb1167 exactly! They don’t know why but they don’t like me. I used to think I was just a bad person, now I know I’m autistic.

[@EMVelez]

@@absentmindedgenesequencing7020Yes! I remember in junior high school, I had a “friend” who one day turned to me and said “I don’t know why, but there is something about you that I just don’t like”. I had done nothing to her to cause that reaction. She could not even identify WHY she felt that way. I never forgot that comment but it was just one of many throughout my life.

[@amanb8698]

I think it's because humans have this archaic mechanism for conformity, as difference can lead to conflict, so it's easier if everyone is the same, or follows norms, so humans have an ability to pick up differences, we stand out so we are easy targets, but in paradox at the same time people are attracted to differences as it leads to new genes, which means less disease, as marrying the same people leads to inbreeding over time and severe physical and mental impairment, as well as deformities, genetic cancers, and things like Tay-Sachs. People fear difference, but love being scared and crave the other. Humans are currently evolving and the paradoxes are part of the process. We need a balance and ultimately fairness, freedom, equity, care, and respect.

[@Molly-iw1rc]

When I think about more collectivist societies, like in Japan, I also imagine it being more comforting to have strict social rules that everyone is aware of, in opposition to American Individualistic culture, where you never know what the different social rules may be for different people. But I can also imagine both being stressful when you are autistic haha

[@lenaramoon4617]

regardless of culture, having autism is difficult--because socialization is part of being human

[@Molly-iw1rc]

@@lenaramoon4617 I understand that

[@absentmindedgenesequencing7020]

As someone with autism you get used to working hard for average work because systems aren’t built to support you. Essentially you have to adjust to be being passed over and your mistakes meaning more to people then your successes or hard word.

[@AsaMarshall]

I am Black American and actually have been living in Japan now for 2 years and although undiagnosed I highly suspect I have autism and have been trying to cope with it to the best of my ability now coming out of a very intense and long-term burnout. My living experience here has been slightly isolating compared to how I grew up because I had a lot more freedom and did not feel so out of place naturally because I had grown used to certain social rules so being lively, community-oriented and hospitable was something I learned was acceptable and I was comfortable existing within that space. Being in Japan for school has been difficult because I am struggling more with socializing and changing routines and such. I end up masking way more than usual which gets super exhausting. Being Black already makes me a target for judgement here and because of that I end up wanting to minimize myself even more to not be a bother since everyone more or less stays to themselves which results in me just staying home all of the time aside from school which also comes with its own different set of social rules compared to everywhere else outside of campus. I end up distancing myself more and only hanging out with a couple people sporadically or sticking to socializing only at club meetings during the school semester (which usually don't have much more than 4 members at any given time) where I can actually be around people I can unmask and relax around. Being on campus ends up just triggering shutdowns because I would have to exert so much more energy into readjusting to the different environment and being around so many strangers causes me to go nonverbal that I tend to not bother expressing myself fully and I avoid actually being on campus as much as possible and retreat to empty cafes or shops to try and mentally prepare for attending class. I have greatly missed my community at home because my way of communicating and overall existing was not really judged and actually more supported and accommodated for. I don't seek to be disruptive but even in moments where I want to stim when feeling overwhelmed like on public transportation I try to suppress it because people are already suspicious of me and tend to avoid me. School has also been quite difficult to manage since I don't have a diagnosis but thankfully I can focus more on just enjoying what I can out of my classes and working with supportive professors and I am glad to have made other neurodivergent friends to make living here a bit easier. Great video! It was so interesting to watch!

[@Not_Nican]

This is almost exactly my situation as well

[@Gcolleah]

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. Being Black in any environment already sets a person as a target, then add neurodivergent to that? Sheesh. I have found that my Asian friend that was the most accepting of me and open to being my friend publicly, found out he was a believer of Jesus Christ, even though back home his family and he risk their lives by worshiping Jesus. We were both able to open up to one another during our school program as believers but that was in the US. I hope you find your people and be reminded that you are not dangerous or less than a human even when others treat you as so. You are much more than that and you’re getting better everyday ❤ God bless

[@michellethiesen7972]

I'm so sorry that's your experience. I think I saw a video about a cafe where the owner has autism and it caters to autistic people don't know where you are in relation to it but if you look it up and you're close to it, it might be a good place where you could go to be social and unmask and unwind.

[@AsaMarshall]

@@michellethiesen7972 i did hear about that and i definitely would love to visit one day if I have the time!

[@michellethiesen7972]

@@AsaMarshall I'm glad you've heard of it. I hope you get to visit and that you have a great time and make some friends while you're there!

[@amanb8698]

When I was studying Japanese I learned about the Mask culture, the concept of Japanese wearing a figurative mask ( a cover for their true self in public), I was like no problem I have been masking myself as a diagnosed ADHDer since I was like 8 😂.

[@moss_piglet]

I started crying about half way through this video. Even though I've never been officially diagnosed with anything there were many aspects of this documentary that I found relatable which I didn't expect.

[@mayatenshi]

Love you ❤️

[@IslanderT]

It is constantly frustrating that parents are so trained to want to avoid diagnosis as if avoiding the official diagnosis makes it go away. I will never understand parents not wanting to ensure their children have every resource that they may need.

[@nerdtubewtf]

I love how this ended on how to love ourselves again. At 52, I'm barely learning to LOVE all of me including loving all the autistic/adhd parts of me too. This journey has been lifting so much weight off my chest. I can love the little girl I grew up hating again. I can be open about loving what I see every day. That I'm lucky that if pain is gone (I also have a mess ton of autoimmunities/arthritis), I get to visit Nirvana/Heaven when I'm in nature. I learning to love ALL the different parts of me now that I know about meltdowns, burn outs & what they are & now I can do the right things to prevent or decrease their severity. Most self help books/advice/therapy was the exact opposite of what my autistic adhd brain needed. I'm changing the voices to be one of comfort when I'm in melt down. This allows me to take care of my needs so it blunts the severity. I get to take care of the little girl inside of me & comfort her in ways no one has done before and give her what she needs.

[@nerdtubewtf]

Not sure if clear, but beyond the melt downs & self hate & societal pressures, I LOVE my autistic/adhd brain and kinda always have, but that came with a HUGE side order of guilt for liking being the freak, so hence more bad voices. You all are giving me an outside voice in my brain to let me give myself permission to love ALL of my brain, be proud of it, even the 'dark' scary parts.

[@AeonZhang]

​@@nerdtubewtf ✨🫂🫂🫂✨

[@somni4867]

29:52 I literally say the same thing and I’m also always laughing/smiling when I have to talk about this stuff. It’s not like I think it’s funny, I think it’s just how my body responds when I’m uncomfortable.

[@bugsbunny4647]

Black and Japanese and highly suspect I am level 1 Autistic. Japanese social events are a nightmare to me. I'll do it, but my GOD, it is so exhausting. I've noticed that I'll just slowly look for a reason to do something else since it is too much.

[@sarahlongstaff5101]

I lived in Japan in my early 20s. It was very difficult for me, culture-wise, but I think now that I am diagnosed autistic (not till I was 51), I understand better what the problems were. I was American but I was also autistic. I relate so much to what these Japanese people are saying and I wish I could talk to them more! But I was teaching English and Spanish and didn’t learn enough Japanese. I love how Japanese people all have hobbies and arts and artisanry are still appreciated. I really miss that, but if I were to go back to Japan, I would want to meet these autistic people! They still seem to be more successful than I am. NT Americans can be very bullying to people who don’t fit in.

[@amanb8698]

ADHDer here. I also have time anxiety, I will always be early, or try to be, however I will let months and years go by without moving forward. It sucks, but I think I am going to work on it.

[@tadashihatsudai]

The ability to read the air/空気を読む is also heavily dependent on how you’re raised within Japanese culture. I’m an adult autistic Asian female (Japanese!) and I exclusively learn all social rules from my Japanese mom so I pretty much get what I should/shouldn’t do in certain situations. And I myself communicate indirectly a lot so KY culture is as clear as communicating directly for me. WOOOOOOAH. You’re a Bay Area native too!? As far as general communication goes for me as a Japanese female, the rules are not the issue for me. It’s finding a purpose to socialize and being motivated is where I get lost on. But then I’m completely content with being on my own. So I tend to get SUPER annoyed when people to tell me to “get out of my shell” when I basically have a comfy house lodged onto me like a turtle does. There’s a lot of pathologizing both autism symptoms and introverted tendencies. The only time I will change course is when something triggers my “fight” response to something like injustice.

[@cat4517]

Please please read this manga called “That’s My Atypical Girl” or also called “Asper Girl” it’s so good

[@A.typique]

This video made my crying of joy, especially the woman that create a neurodiversity friendly coffee, she deserve so much, she's awesome, why I haven't a coffee like this there

[@katyalambo]

I definitely agree with your theory regarding the prevalence of autism. Since learning that I am autistic and learning more about the diverse ways that autism and ADHD can present I have been noticing traits in many other people. I have yet to build the courage to ask these people if they are in fact neurodivergent but interesting that you too have had similar thoughts 😊

[@tracik1277]

Hi Irene. Around the 45 min mark you discuss that there could be so many more people who are Autistic in the world. I agree. I think that there are so many individuals who are masking and don’t know it because they are just guessing that they are ‘normal’ and the correct information has not been available to them. That is why the work you and others like you are doing is so important. I hope that my own journey will lead me to be able to contribute to this work too one day, indeed I now feel that this is possibly the only environment I could be happy to work in since I am now so aware that the neurotypical world of societal affairs is too much of a struggle for me and my time and abilities are wasted there.

[@absentmindedgenesequencing7020]

16:21 Yes, it is a really distressing and frequent issue. What really bothers me about it is I am always having to adjust to others. Often people don’t know how, or don’t want to make the adjustment for me and it leads to further conflict.

[@Mikidy]

Just got diagnosed back in February and I'm on a new self discovery process. I'm off to watch your uncovering stim videos next. Thank you for being a genuine sweet human bean ❤

[@mimikoivisto1531]

Hey! Lot's of love from Finland. I'm on a journey of figuring out myself and my patterns and everything and I really appreciate and enjoy your input on various things. Thank you for making videos.

[@J_Games_And_More7216]

I’ve never been to Japan before but it would still be informative for in case in a rare chance I end up being there someday

[@dubheasadalosair8928]

I just got diagnosed with asperger's right before my 40th birthday in March. This hit hard for me & I love it! I am trying to work on the aspects that make my life difficult but it is hard, especially Seth trying to find good jobs. Also I love the guy with the suit & top hat. He does have beautiful energy & he rocks his look!

[@Sooyasoobin]

Hi Irene! Are you currently thinking about putting Spanish subtitles to your videos? I would love to do it tho and spread your message around the autistic community in Latin America 🥹🤓

[@SSolemn]

I would love to have spanish subtitles, I do not need them, but I would love to share this video with my family, thanks for sharing this content with us

[@macondiano503]

I think this video is great but I also think it would be great feedback to note that the film is more focused on verbal autistics with overall lower support needs. Because we're always so visible, it can sometimes set unreasonable expectations on autistics with middle to high support needs and they end up feeling the consequences of that. (For example, parents ridicule their kids for not being like lower support needs autistics, ironically.)

[@onyax9323]

I am from Finland, and our culture has some similarities with the Japanese, at least when it comes to respect "from afar" and personal space. We respect personal space, we value silence and everyone's right to it and we are not expecting small talk. We are very real and raw in some sense, because the shallow "glued on" interactions are not culturally required and are sometimes even frowned upon. At the same time, individuality is respected and encouraged. It is not all sunshine and rainbows for autistic people, either, but just wanted to mention it as there indeed are vast differences throughout World's cultures, not less so within Europe's cultures!

[@chachi7457]

I totally relate to what you were saying around 6:20. Growing up in New York, there’s so many different cultures with different norms. My white family taught me to smile when passing people and sometimes say a “hello” or “good morning” etc. then while while growing up, I was made fun of for this. It’s so confusing to know what the proper social moves are in daily interaction

[@karmakameleon113]

A big part of why I feel hopeless more often than not is because I simply don't have the luxury of finding my own niche in the working world. Yes, it is a luxury not to *have to* enter the rat race. Start my own business? With what money? Take stock of my strengths/weaknesses, define the conditions I need to be under/the environment I need to be in in order to thrive (or at least manage), and seek out jobs I know I would be comfortable in? I've been doing (and still am doing) that. Except the reality is that whatever jobs are available are the ones that are available, and if they're not a good fit for me then oh well- the rent/bills don't care about any of that. Another big part of why I feel hopeless is because I feel that my autism is a "you problem", not a "me problem". Not once in my entire employment history have I been fired for poor job performance, poor behavior, doing something I wasn't supposed to do, not doing something I was supposed to do or royally screwing something up. *Every single time* I've been "let go" from a job it's been because I "wasn't a good fit" or they "felt that I'd be happier within a different company culture". Meanwhile I'm thinking to myself, "I was fine. If I wanted to quit I would have". The issue has always been social/interpersonal, usually in the form of others having a problem with me, rarely the other way around (I don't even socialize with people enough to be able to develop negative feelings about them or start drama with them). When I'm masking (which is pretty much constantly because I've been doing it so long I don't know how to turn it off lol), my persona is bright, bubbly, put-together, confident, polite, capable, driven, all of that good stuff. Insecure people see that and don't like it (they think I feel that I'm better than them because I don't socialize, they feel threatened because they've been leaning on their social status instead of their job performance and they feel threatened by someone who seems more focused or driven, etc.), and in my experience, there are a LOT of *deeply* insecure people out there. Side note: the bullying and harassment get taken to a whole new level when you're an attractive woman. All of that is to say that how people feel about me based on how they feel about themselves should not be my problem when I'm in a professional work setting. And yet it consistently is and there's nothing I can do about it so I feel hopeless.

[@PolarBearFromNY]

I live in New York, and I wish more people would come up and talk to me. I feel very lonely most of the time and often I feel like I'm scary to other people. I'm not mean, I'm just quiet, and because of my large stature, I often get misunderstood.

[@TheCloverAffiliate12]

Hi! I hope you've had some kind people come up and talk to you in New York and that you're doing okay :) Take care!

[@sussybaka5322]

NY can be a very isolating place. It's more common for folks to stick to their own cliques and just mind their own business. I've found it to be both a blessing and a curse. Yes you're right, having noone talk to you or even acknowledge you can take a toll on your mental health. The flipside is that you don't have to mask as hard on the streets, you can talk to yourself or stim and noone will really care or make a big deal of it. So its a pro and con over in NY, lonilness is real but the freedom to unmask in public without anyone giving a damn is real.

[@faithybyfaith]

I feel so seen and understood. I can relate to these experiences and living in the USA. It is so hard because the social cues and norms vary greatly from group to group. I needed this video this morning to make myself feel less alone.

[@faithybyfaith]

I love how these ASD and ADHD adults and parents are making the best of the situation and helping others like them 😊 I love to see it!🎉

[@TheMononome]

Hi! I am Japanese watching this in the US. I remember that I do not like group conversations with more than 3 people, but I did not know this could be a part of my autistic symptoms until I watch this video. Overall, I am happy that I moved to the US because of the amount of efforts I needed to make and so much burnout in Japan just so I fit in the very high-context culture. Even though, I started to feel I do not fit in American culture either which put value so much on achieving things, setting goals, etc. I am taking my zen spiritual path and finding balance. My brother also had a developmental disorder and lots more serious secondary disorders, such as bipolar disorder and PTSD, he chose to take his life recently. He could not see any hope living in Japan with his condition worrying about financial issues. I am still processing my emotions around his death. I hope I will find my answers by keeping watching your channel. I am also pretty much interested in changing situations Japan which is harsh to people with mental disorders in the near future! Thank you for your attention to issues in Japan!

[@WriterMarkusRegius]

This is very interesting! I'll have to watch it in chunks, because of attention issues, so I'm not very far in yet, but I wanted to give an initial comment. I'm from Sweden and lived in Japan for a year when I was 20, studying Japanese. I found both positive and negative things about the culture, from my perspective as a (white) foreigner. - I really liked that people respected my personal space, but were very helpful when I needed help. - I had a really hard time navigating all the unwritten rules that people in Japan just know. - It was nigh on impossible to get any accommodations from the school to make things easier for me as an autistic person. When I mentioned it the response was basically "oh yeah, we had a person like you come here before, they went home after a couple of months." Which made me angry and spurred me on to stay the full year and prove I could handle it, which was probably not the best response given the strain it put on me to mask, and the amount of uncomfortable things I forced myself to do ... I mean, I don’t regret it, that was still an amazing year and I wouldn’t trade it, but I do wish they had been more understanding. Anyway, looking forward to seeing the rest of this video and find out more about what it's like for autistic Japanese people :)

[@prarthanarajan1152]

You have the best way of explaining your feelings. You are so eloquent.

[@XavYah777]

This is inspirational I've had autism (ASD 1) since I was a child and I do agree with the fact that there needs to be more accommodations for adults who are neurodivergent/ or who are autistic. I need to move to Japan lol

[@sailorPinata]

48:52 That's also because the neurotypical world is obsessed with "leaving your comfort zone" thingy lol But when you're NA the world is already very uncomfortable, so.....

[@crystalinephos6097]

Alot of people are so confused as to why there are so many folks getting diagnosed with ASD now. But it makes sense considering the perception of autism is changing, and autism was always a boys diagnosis not to long ago. It only makes sense that even now alot of people go undiagnosed, because people who could diagnosis belive a person making eye contact or being sociable means their not autistic

[@jamielynn-bb8rh]

Just wanted to cry at the misunderstanding/Siri part. I do not want people to constantly reassure me or say I love you. Its emotional labor I don't have capacity for but I have to pretend. Why isn't saying I love you one time enough for all of eternity? I really wish also that I could talk like Siri to people too. Sorry, I don't understand. I really enjoyed you watching this and all the comments you made are super similar to mine. Thank you for sharing this documentary from Japan with us! I learned a lot.

[@stupidsminkle]

When I first heard about Hikikomori, I honestly thought that it's not such a terrible way of living because social situations are soooo stressful! But clearly it would be hard to leave the house the longer you stay inside, but with so much online interaction and food delivery I think I could pull it off for a while. Even though that's not necessarily a healthy way to approach life hah

[@CuteVidoll]

Its pretty hard. I am from Germany, living in Japan for 15 years, and I was diagnosed with autism and ADHD this year (adhd I suspected since a while). Rules are many but they are all unspoken and for you to figure out. Not many facial espressions to let you know if you are right or wrong. Japan is all about blending in and "functioning" and nobody tells you how if you have not learned it by yourself from a young age. It was already difficult when I was in my own country, let alone now with a culture and language that is very confusing. I have learned much more about Japan than I have ever learned about Germany just to understand. It helps me in my work as a tour guide but I am still horrible in interpersonal relationships. Luckily i am surrounded by artistic Japanese friends who are definately mainly on the spectrum without them knowing. Actually the not coming up and talking or approaching is a big problem when living here because you need to be the instigator as the autistic person to make friends at all. Non japanese people have the image of all being outgoing, i am not until someone talks to me, so nobody dares to approach me with my resting bitch face.

[@CuteVidoll]

let me know if you ever wanna ask me about it

[@CuteVidoll]

@@gluehfunke1547 don't do it! I never fit in in Germany and didn't had much friend but Japan made it much much worse. I got lucky enough to meet artists during my many concert visits and then through the artist friends I made and most of them look to be somewhere on the spectrum but even with this, it is still so hard and lonely at times

[@pickleprismos]

i relate to this in so many levels, i cant even descibe (i would LOVE to go in a autistic cafe, sadly i dont think theres one where i live or on my country)

[@Darth_Autisticus]

I agree. We should all have autistic groups or places. Only people with autism can go. Not that we don’t want anyone else but I would love to just sit in a cafe and talk to a lot of people from different countries who also have autism and understand how their country treats them compared to my country try in America.

[@RickNelsonMn]

Everything resonates, which is sad. After some time, I settled a bit and considered things. I struggle a lot with obstacles, sabotage from irl, irt circumstances. Too much struggle has interrupted everything and I wish a more productive vibe existed in my words. The two videos I've watched thus far meet me where I am. See me, let me know we're many. Though, I'm not in a situation that gives opportunities. If this is too much, I'm sorry and understand it might not fit here?

[@kathryncollins8708]

I'm white and I totally agree. It is exhausting. Living in Hawaii showed me that you don't need to smile and you don't need to put on a fake voice/ front. It was shocking at first since I grew up in Orange County California but eventually gave me freedom. Now I am in England and I see the respect given to people that I did not notice in America and even how women are treated more equal here than how I was used to - but I am also coming from a patriarchal church environment as well, so that could be part of it.

[@margo6070]

You inspire me so much. I want to learn more things from you.

[@sailorPinata]

29:55 I noticed that too especially in this video, they're all laughing after saying something very sad... But I heard it's also something from Japanese culture to smile and laugh when you're feeling uncomfortable !

[@EMVelez]

I have had the opposite experience. More often, I got along well with coworkers, but my bosses always clashed with me. They saw me as a trouble maker for simply voicing my opinions or not being a smiley kiss ass.

[@cherylyoke4872]

Thank you for sharing this video and for pausing it and providing your comments. I see many similarities to myself in the difficulties those people have faced. However I have had an additional problem. When I have talked with therapists about how I see myself, they have paraphrased in their notes what they thought I meant and I come off sounding arrogant. Nothing could be further from the truth.

[@mississippiatheistette8769]

Crazy how you just intuitively KNOW that hikkikomori means self isolated even without understanding a word of Japanese

[@kr0nekxg347]

this is really refreshing

[@ryvyr]

More often preferred, I am accused of performing as "a caricature of an intellectual" with basic, intuitive communication, and never move beyond irritation of explaining that I am simply copy/pasting my thought process (or at least what is filtered with effort). The variety of reasons why make it more exhausting.

[@Diversity_in_Neurodiversity]

My goodness. The documentary and your reaction to it was so, so very relatable.

[@aze101]

One thing I always do is explain my tendencies to people from day 1 , I always bring out the other person to introduce themselves just so I get to do so lol ,constant hanging out (physical or non physical) is not my style , I like being alone , thank Allah that there is the MBTI trend going on , I state it if they are into that I laugh it off with it when if they seem puzzled about my tendacy . I'm not dignosed so that's my way of doing things, I push myself to do that at least less than 3 times intraction so that I can be very stress free in my brain .If you stay then you accept .

[@megzin00]

Love this content from you! You add meaningful and insightful thoughts. I'm curious as to what the autistic experience is like in countries that put up barriers that prevent us from moving there? On a side note, thank you for recognizing the difficulties of parenting a child on the spectrum instead of jumping straight to mom-shaming or parent-shaming. I didn't know I was ASD until after my child was diagnosed but I've always made parenting decisions based on how I wish my parents did for me...I can only hope that it will be a positive change in breaking the generational trauma.

[@aiaiaiai7]

pause time for me: 36:51

[@gaolen]

you were saying white spaces, but i want to point out that american and european cultures also differ in those things. in the netherlands bluntness and honesty are valued and we tend to hate the american kind of friendliness

[@chinatosinthiti3076]

Excellent documentary! I went to watch it at their channel. Thanks for your commentary too Irene!

[@beautifulcrescendo]

I have personal experience with a very present dark sense of humor 😅 For me, often times I won’t have fully processed how a sentence could be taken in the current situation until it enters my active (short term) thoughts. Often the jump in the conversation from surface level to really personal is such a shift it just tickles me. I will occasionally laugh simply because I’m anxious about how the other person will react

[@TheRawChuck]

I use alarms and timers for so many things. It's not uncommon for me to have an alarm and two timers running at once. I agree that we do seem to enjoy dark humor to a degree. I was basically a short order cook in a restaurant for a few years and having ADHD and Autism made it so incredibly difficult. I forced myself to stay at it because I didn't want to be weak in those areas. That is a very good and helpful documentary.

[@nreilly5901]

Love this video. Surprised to see this only has 4.4K views. Just subscribed

[@naqpenda2130]

i don't think adhd or autism is a disability but we need to know that we have it, know how to handle, maybe we need medication/supplements and find our way to do things. but as others we can be better and worse in things. and hard to work socially together with "normal" ppl. also... i think it's unfair that we should make them comfortable in social situation and nobody cares how it affects us. as an european (hungary) i would also avoid to mention that i'm not neurotypical at formal situations like workplace. i should try to avoid to mention as much as possible. i felt almost everytime it made worse the situation like i think they assumed something wrong with me or they didn"t believe it. i didn"t have much good experiences.

[@donagaleta]

I'm thinking a lot, as you do, about the possibility of almost half the population of the world being autistic... I'm obsessed with the theme and all day long thinking how many of the people I know is autistic (family, friends, coworkers...) I've been recently diagnosed, but I don't want to say it at work, I'm very scared about being fired some day because of it, or maybe being understood in the beggining, but then, some day, after a melt down, I don't know... perhaps they would think: "Poor woman, yeah, BUT in this place we need somebody who can work harder, somebody who never breaks, never falls"... I don't know 😓... I observe my coworkers and I can clearly see 2 or 3 of them that are autistic, but they don't know, of course. And we have very different personalities.

[@hayuseen6683]

Very interesting dive into this.

[@SteshuShu]

I have to ask, when you went to Japan, did you notice people walking "into" you? Like, they won't go out of their way to make distance to walk past you, and almost seem intentionally will walk past you at such a distance when there's PLENTY of space to walk slightly more to the left or right... I vacationed there in spring 2017 and I just couldn't get over why they were walking past me but so close to me... I felt self conscious and wanted to make MORE space when walking by someone, but it just seem like they wanted to walk NEAR me while passing me. My spouse observed the same behavior... This was moreso while we were in Tokyo. We did visit Osaka area too... Sorry for being strange...It was just one of the things that stayed with me when I went. First time and maybe last (because money). I swear we weren't being weird. (Although two Asian people talking American English was probably weird to them IDK!)

[@SteshuShu]

Sorry just finished the vid, but that one scene where this older woman said "We all thought we kept failing because we lacked efforts and believed we were born useless. I thought I was the only one weird in this world" THIS omg. I started sobbing... I want meetups in my area like this... I love this lady's kind heart. I also loved how they revealed what the adults started near the end of the documentary. My heart is filled with so much love! And you, Irene's reactions to the doc made this vid all the more special :3

[@EMVelez]

Yep. How does he operate in that bright room? I wear sunglasses indoors when it’s too bright. Yes, people look at me weird sometimes but probably less so because I live in Los Angeles. It helps me cope. Can’t take the bright fluorescent lights!

[@nattokki]

Hi Irene, I would love if you made a video talking about your autistic experience in your own Asian community. I am also an Asian autistic woman who like you was late diagnosed and I would love to know how your family, extended family and possibly other Asian community members reacted to your diagnosis and how they treat autism. Thanks!

[@sailorPinata]

23:14 Simply because it's hard to get rejected, and it logically passes as a polite way to say "I don't like you / It's never gonna happen / Stop asking me". We have to empathize with the people we reject too. It's logical they would stop trying if they're an unbalance too when we don't make the same step towards them to proactively ask them to hang out with them.

[@liamodonovan6610]

You are an amazing wan love your videos you are a beautiful and have a big personality interesting video

[@jonaskoelker]

> 27:00 "asperuuga" To me that sounds like how I'd expect a Japanese person to pronounce "Asperger", yet the subtitles say "ASD". Curious.

[@Avenue_ad_Astra]

It is Asperger's. Japanese people do not differentiate between ASD, Asperger's, and ADHD. I have ADHD but as a diagnosis it is also "hattatsu shougai", which is the word the people in this documentary used most often to talk about their autism. Many doctors also tell me I can't have ADHD because my mannerisms do not seem sufficiently "weird" to them and they think people with ADHD are basically unable to communicate in any normal way. That is their stereotype of hattatsu shougai, which is ASD, Asperger's and ADHD.

[@sailorPinata]

Those beautiful were beautiful and so inspirational

[@darkdork1012]

Americans somewhat think of Japan as having a culture where most people are very polite, straightforward, project humbleness, orderly, healthy, respectful and disciplined. I wanted to think high-functioning autistics would find Japan very pleasant. I'm not sure if I'm autistic, but there's never been a time in my life where I didn't find people intrusive, rude and volatile. Granted, I've never liked social expectations that feel like control. Do things this way, not that way. You have to do this, not that. You have to learn this topic even though it will never apply to your life. You have to like these things because everyone else does. So I can also imagine autistic people would struggle for these reasons.

[@sarahlongstaff5101]

Is there a way to reach out to some of these people? I’d like to ask the cafe owner how she does it, and I’d like to talk to the dad who went to Northwestern. As someone who also has ADHD, I don’t know if I could have my own business, but my kids and I (all AuDHD) need income.

[@rkivelover]

The artist’s voice is so soothing and nice on the ears. Also I’m curious if the maker of this documentary has other content, and if so where could I find it?

[@Michael_H_Nielsen]

really really good point. I am preparing a presenation on this and your points are really good :)

[@Michael_H_Nielsen]

The reason is you either laugh at the tragic stuff or cry.

[@strictnonconformist7369]

"White culture" Can you be a bit more specific than that? Consider there are many divisions in that arbitrary group in regards to culture, and their beliefs. Consider that a culture is defined by the norms of behavior of the whole group, and they tend to have a shared history over a fairly long period of time. Certainly in the US, it's absolutely a melting pot, even amongst those with the same general area of genetics. We are all human, and we're all different flavors of human, part nature and part nurture. Thankfully, we're not all clones: I already have a huge problem with face blindness!🤣🤣🤣 (it has had rather... Awkward side-effects)

[@Darth_Autisticus]

Everyone who has autism comment here.

[@catadiaz1080]

There so little representation of non white autistic people on the media :< It's nice hearing you talk about it

[@gustavoellemes5362]

21:00 yep, teachers love me and classmates Go ???

[@miamenseentokyo2396]

Important edit of comment note after thinking: (I must say that I thought about it again and I may be wrong here, not about the far right and some of his other videos earlier perhaps but maybe his is intention here is really good actually) Original comment in full with supplemental note: Unfortunately the KZbinr of that other video, although he makes some interesting and sympathetic videos was quite far-right as a Japanese and the Japanese internet based far-right’s basic attitude toward all difference is to exaggerate and remind how “impossible” (meaning in their case: not desired in a mean and intentional way because “nationality/homogeneity of culture and power relations or exclusion” is cherished by such folks as a virtue) it is to be different. They mean, they do not want to help different people in Japan or for others to come to Japan and assimilate or get help assimilating. (I must say that I thought about it again and I may be wrong here, not about the far right and some of his other videos earlier perhaps but maybe his is intention here is really good actually) I had to watch him for years to really understand that his meaning of helping the persons and issues he deals with is actually just him zealously defending a culture of very intense exclusivist egoism. ** again: (I must say that I thought about it again and I may be wrong here, not about the far right and some of his other videos earlier perhaps but maybe his is intention here is really good actually) The virtue in Japan is modesty and other-oriented, that is the soul of Japan. The zealous obsession for power relations and smashing vulnerable differences is the vice of Japan. This vice and virtue are mutually exclusive, that is the reason why Japan is still a beautiful country with a good spirit in its people and it is the reason why Japan has hope. It has hope in-spite of its vice and because of its virtue characteristic. The Heisei Aesthetic of the 1990’s and partly into the 2000’s exemplified this best. - A gay person with ASD who loves japan as a place and people there. Btw if you want to read a book and understand the good of Japan, try reading about Kenzaburo Oe, the founding of the first Japanese sento’s (bath houses to help the poor and unfortunate just because and not because it “was appropriate”) Also if you want to understand the vice of Japan and the danger there, read Oe’s book “15” in English or Japanese. It explains the mentality of the bad part of Japan very well. Imagine if mean neurotypicals wore a mask with the nice part outside and the mean part inside (which we can’t read very well) and that is an example or the worst of reading the air communication there. Remember, Japan is still a beautiful country and its soul is very other oriented and good.

[@Malingerer1505]

😂 this is basically Cross Cultural Psychology 101 5:42

[@sarahrichman1]

Where did you get your headphones?

[@robscovell5951]

I loved watching your facial expressions when the stories were so sad ... and they say that we don't have empathy :facepalm:

[@AeonZhang]

💫✨🌟❤️🌟✨💫

[@dah_goofster]

Hi you’re really cute, okay bye.