Let's Rank Battletoads. | Ranking the NES, Episode 16

[@laharl945]

I love Jeff's absolute refusal to go 1 episode without mentioning dinowarz: destruction of spondylous. I hope he never stops.

[@esmerylan]

I want the pronunciation of "Spondylous" to get more and more exaggerated to the point where it becomes nearly unrecognizable.

[@furrymessiah]

SPONDEELOOS

[@kevinkuenn5733]

"Is it an animal, vegetable, or mineral?" "Is it bigger than a bread box?" "Is it better than Dinowarz: Destruction of Spondylous?"

[@matthewkemmer]

Or Low G Man: The Lore Gravity Man

[@HANBAGA-BACH]

''Circus Caper is the smelling salt of video games'' is a sentence that will live in my brain for the rest of my life.

[@Peter_Thornton]

I feel like I would respect the Rambo game more if the option to spend life in prison was a totally separate game where Rambo gets to work out in the yard, play chess with his cellmate, and engage in small talk with the guards.

[@fredriksahlstenglimmevi3259]

I’ve heard you’re the greatest Top Gun player of all time.

[@octocoq]

I mean he’s landed the plane, so he’s the best I’ve ever seen

[@ShaolinTechnoMage]

I guess I've never actually seen Battletoads on the NES... I'm not going to argue it's an amazing game... but I have to say it's a very pretty game. The graphics are very impressive for the NES. Also... sprites on the screen move really quickly and smoothly, there isn't a lot of flicker etc... technically, it's an impressive engine.

[@steveb9713]

I enjoyed battletoads but the Nintendo power with level maps and then knowing the warp zones and extra lives code made it way more fun. I think the variety of gameplay was awesome at the time too

[@sleepwalkusa135]

Gilligan's Island and Happy Days got replaced by Friends and The Office on the perpetual rerun circuit

[@GaryHodgesDVSM]

Glad you got to discover Guerilla War, one of my personal faves - it's f-ing great. Feels good, over the top, cool music - it's got it all. Great little action game for the NES.

[@EsDeib]

I might be a simpleton, but Jeff’s Rambo impersonation killed me every single time, lmao.

[@nuclearjones7072]

The way the ski slope curves in slalom is so incredibly smooth for an early NES game with what I assume had no extra computing power help snuck in the cartridge.

[@Mugicha808]

Jeff's narration of game plots and characters are a national treasure.

[@GreatistheWorld]

Had a similar experience with Monster Party 20 years ago, having only known it from funny “Bat! Batter! Anything is ok! Anyhow, let's go!” screenshots, and discovered there’s kinda of a lot there if you look. Very neat thing

[@BDreGameplay]

Yes I can confirm that Gilligan's Island was on all the freaking time when I was growing up. I'm the same age as jeff, and I basically thought that it was a current sitcom at the time, when I was a kid.

[@DoominMacGruber]

lol I thought the exact same thing

[@MagikGimp]

Did Jeff Gerstmann just put Battletoads 30 places BELOW Top Gun?? xD I honestly think you have it out for us Brits, Jeff. Well I mean, it is the law over there after all. :P

[@MagikGimp]

Do you not know who James Rolfe is?!?! xDDD

[@citizenhal]

Well yeah, Top Gun is just a generic shooter game thing. It's pretty harmless. Battleloads is definitely a bigger mound of steaming dog eggs.

[@joshlemagne]

Every week Little Nemo gets more and more disrespected.

[@RetroDrew]

It does make me sad that it got pitted so low to begin with because the graphics, idea, and soundtrack are incredible but that difficulty is a real bummer. Some slight tweaks and it could be a stone cold classic amongst other Capcoms more prolific works on the nes

[@matthewkemmer]

My friend had a NES and not many games that worked, one being T&C Surf Designs, which has made it in my mind one of the canonical games for the system.

[@trickvondoom2354]

Weird, same experience here. My next door neighbor had a dozen carts that wouldn't work, the two exceptions being T&C and Paperboy

[@joeydavis5568]

I have never seen Top Gun on NES until this video but it reminded me of Turn and Burn on SNES. My dad and I used to play that game non stop and he would always have me do the landing sequence. Im not sure if it was actually a good game but it will always be to me.

[@nno7532]

i think battle toads shows an age different between you and i. my friends and i gobbled up battletoads and loves it, but we were younger.

[@Derwood01]

really? no one going to talk about how criminally high Rambo got placed? Jeff spent 15 minutes just wandering in the dark getting hit by random invisible shit. that game looked miserable. Battletoads may not be a masterpiece, but its 10 times better than Rambo. Holy hell.

[@smellylettuce]

Back to the future looks like a game you would copy the code for in an issue of a compute's gazette for c64

[@SixDeadMice]

Nice noclip t-shirt Danny and crew did a great job on the Half-Life doc

[@MNeely]

I love licensed games. They’re rarely good, but sometimes the way they are bad is at least interesting.

[@RetroDrew]

The best thing a bad game can do is at least be interesting

[@andrew77961]

Jeff, I’ve been a fan of you for a long time. Podcasts, streams, I’ve consumed a good percentage of your content over the years. But this is my favorite thing that you’ve done so far. I hope when you’re done with the NES you pick another system and rank its games.

[@DizzyB42]

Holycrap, I haven't thought about T&C Surf in ages. I used to rent it all the time. Loved the skateboarding, but could never figure out surfing. Same shoes with Jeff. What a bunch of fun memories to unlock.

[@Spirit0f]

In T&C the A and B Buttons are for forwards and backwards momentum. You need to HOLD those buttons down in order to get the feel for it. It doesn't elevate the game by any means, but it does let you stay ahead of the wave and do sick tricks for extra points. Still, barely a rental back in the day.

[@MissAshley42]

Speaking of Howard Phillips, he recently collaborated with webcomic author Matthew Taranto to release Gamemaster Classified, a book chronicling his time at Nintendo. It's a fascinating read that provides extra details on well-known events and shows how Nintendo grew and changed throughout the 80s. It also includes mini-reviews in which Phillips recounts his original impressions of NES games using NoA's internal rating system. For example, he rated the NES version of Slalom a 31 out of 40. (He preferred the arcade version, and even then, only the cabinets with the rocker board and poles.)

[@Jaspertine]

Fair warning about Monster Party. It's a good game, but has a not-great door maze.

[@brianlawhorn9773]

T&C: Surf Designs will always remind me of the classic GameSpot days with the Time Trotters.

[@nathanielrohr3176]

Great episode. Those final three games were astounding.

[@BDreGameplay]

Glad my favorite streaming series is back! The highlight of my Friday

[@akumasan42]

Man, t and c makes me nostalgic. The first time i ever heard about this game was from the first episode of the Gamespot series time trotters with Jeff, Ryan and Rich Gallup. Thankfully someone has uploaded the episode to KZbin :)

[@TheK3vin]

Man, all I could think about until you said the same thing is how much that music sounded like DOOM.

[@Ghadius]

Seeing another NES ranking go up makes my day, for real. So curious to see how these things I rented as a kid actually hold up. Unfortunately, I asked for Battletoads for Christmas and got less than half a game because I found the final set of dodges in the ski bit impossible. It's in there with Renegade and Monster Party with the worst games I owned. Kids are not good about knowing what they want it turns out.

[@NAP8X]

I remember that episode of Giligan’s Island where the Skipper fell down a waterfall and then was immediately attacked by a wild boar.

[@OrinLinwe]

Also, I had battletoads for gameboy, and never played it on NES. Seeing it here is like being familiar with a NES game, and seeing an arcade-version of it that you never knew existed (though I knew battletoads for NES existed). It was very bad, obviously. I remember the "going-down-a-rope" segment having an additional difficulty where you would fall down the rope if you wiggled too far down the rope-end, which is such a garbage decision for your game aimed at kids, on hardware where the screen-refresh-rate is barely ok for single-screen action. It makes the cavalier swinging available for the NES version feel like dunking.

[@Tenfey]

Son, this episode is loaded with games I had growing up. The Skateboarding half of T&C Surf Design is one of my favorite NES games, but to this day I have no idea how to surf. I always play as the cool sunglasses guy, whom I dubbed "Elvis Leroy". When you achieve Nirvana and the timer stops and that sweet music kicks in it is a certified Good Time™ (I refer to this as the "Hyper-Funk" State) Picked Rambo up at a yard sale, never got very far in it. Only really played it because I liked the level music. Even though I never once made it past the Turbo Tunnel, I still look back on Battletoads fondly. Unbalanced difficulty, but fantastic presentation. If you scroll up into the top corners in the Wookie Hole, you can trigger the wrecking ball transformation and one-shot those annoying robots. Back to the Future was another yard sale acquisition. Even young me regretted the $5 purchase. You made it just as far as I ever did. The sudden transformation from happy-go-lucky to nightmare in level one of Monster Party freaked me out as a kid. I would always dread walking past the Giant Cactus. Never managed to finish it. (also I appreciate the C&C Music Factory reference)

[@bluechew69]

I am sure it was meant to be called "Master Blue and the Drunken Chew".

[@PressBtoCancel]

Battletoads is a tough one, if it had infinite continues like Ninja Gaiden, it would be looked at more kindly. Alot of interesting mechanics, but no doubt a pain in the ass to beat.

[@richglix]

"I would watch an hour long video on how the game got that way" - Us too, Jeff, and thats why we love you!

[@kevinkuenn5733]

Hot take: landing the plane in Top Gun isn't all that hard. You just need to look at the speed and altitude the game wants you at, and then stay there. Edit: Oh, well I guess Jeff says as much in the video, in which case I agree with Jeff

[@nickscratch8618]

What an incredible episode.

[@JuiceJive]

More greatness from David Wise on display.

[@Discospawn]

"The arcade and FM Towns versions of Puzznic had adult content, showing a naked woman at the end of the level." -Wikipedia Pussnic *Edit:* "The game was ranked the 34th best game of all time by Amiga Power." -also Wikipedia

[@takaroth]

YOU DIDNT KNOW MONSTER PARTY!? you're in for a treat (in the past)

[@IllegallySighted]

I'm kind of surprised you've never played Back to the Future before, but I'm glad you haven't. Your reaction and shock about how bad this game is fuels me. I fucking hated this game back in the day, and remember being so disappointed after how great the movies were.

[@furrymessiah]

I once had the "pleasure" of borrowing Back to the Future from a friend at church. So poisonous was that game, I never borrowed anything from that person again.

[@houdin654jeff]

I had to look up Guerrilla War after Jeff mentioned it starring Fidel Castro and Che Guevara. Absolutely true, the game was just straight up called Guevara in Japan.

[@Opendork]

I am finally watching this entire archive because I'm currently unemployed and I'm losing my mind at these Back to the Future achievements all being Touhou song names crossed with 80s music references and featuring custom icons of touhou girls wearing headphones. Whoever did that was having more fun with Back to the Future (NES) than anybody else in history

[@jackmehoff9616]

I always thought the guy at the end of Slalom was going, "AHH!!! I GOT MY SKI POLLS STUCK IN MY EYES!!!

[@SuperNintendies]

the surfing in t & c is pretty easy when you learn how the controls work. only learned how to actually stay in front of the wave this year though. you want to hold up, then tap down, and then quickly hold right and repeat

[@DieKenny20]

Glad that spelunker continues to exert its power despite its place on the list

[@fisk0]

Great to get the first flight sim on the list. Console flight sims on hardware absolutely not made for that genre is my jam. F-15 Strike Eagle was in fact ported to the NES too.

[@DjViceroy]

T&C was and still is an excellent game.

[@jkrycz]

The Back To The Future game is crazy because running up a street collecting clocks while dodging extremely generic obstacles is about the level of abstraction that you'd see in something like an Atari game where like Boris Vallejo-style box art of some epic thing happening gets translated into six dots moving around, except then they do occasionally realize that the platform's capabilities allow the inclusion of some recognizably movie-referencing stuff (the skateboard, the diner) which then seems completely out of place because of the rest of the gameplay. I mean I don't know how you'd translate something like Back To The Future into an NES game in the first place but how they landed on this specific implementation has got to be an interesting story.

[@jkrycz]

Rambo is quite a piece of work.

[@CptnJustc]

I was so glad to see Jeff play Back to the Future and that his sentiments were similar to mine. If anything, it should have been ranked lower. It should be in this list's Negative World. I think I got it for Christmas, and I played the hell out of it because I didn't have much else, but I hated every minute of it. Even without many points of comparison, I knew that this was a terrible, incredibly low-effort waste of the console's resources, and was bewildered by how little connection there was to a beloved movie. I was amazed that I was able to eventually trade it in for Castlevania II, which certainly had its faults, but was infinitely more playable and entertaining than that garbage. It was a terrible Christmas to have a curse.

[@kristian1553]

Man… hopefully you know it’s ok to take time off when you’re sick lol. Gotta take care of yourself and the family! Glad you’re getting better.

[@d.s.i.6722]

Hearing the T&C soundtrack after not having played it for 30 years instantly reminded me of how much ass it whips

[@IgnatiusAlpha]

Oh man. What to say about this one. I agree 100% on T&C Surf Designs: Love the skateboarding part, but I dislike the obtuse surfboarding part. I never knew you could grind on the rail! Slalom is really cool too. I missed that one in my youth, but this makes me want to go play it more now. Very cool music too. I've had it stuck in my head all day. David Wise is up there with Nobou Uematsu and Koji Kondo as one the greatest video game composers. Also, I never made the comparison of Rambo to Zelda II until the cave showed up. That's just about a straight up copy-and-paste job. Holy shit. I like Battletoads, even though it's a bit overrated. The Turbo Tunnel is definitely doable with some practice, and the game just gets harder from there. I beat it a few years ago legit without using any continues. It's all about memorizing the patterns in each level.

[@xavierc21]

I played the shit out of T&C Surf when I was a kid, it was one of the first five NES games I had, the other four were Super Mario Bros, Cobra Triangle, Sky Shark and Silk Worm!

[@blackRXrider]

Back to the future is an absolute masterpiece.

[@dongonzulman6478]

Guerilla War is so damn fun! When i was a kid my brother and I would play 2 player, and if i remember right, im pretty sure you have unlimited continues in that mode because we beat it all the time. Then some kid stole my copy, so i didnt get to play it again till emulation was a thing. Seeing Jeff react to it was so satisfying! i was laughing like an idiot the whole time...you could see him having fun, just by his playstyle

[@delirium266]

Scientifically speaking Battletoads is a decent game on many levels even if it has problems. I suspect Jeff was in his annoying early teenage years when this came out and can't shake his angst about it. Like, 16 spots lower than the bad port of Lode Runner? Ice cold take

[@sc20kshotgun]

Oh Back to the Future. The only NES game I ever personally owned because it came with the Nintendo my neighbor gave me.

[@AmyZonkers]

Battletoads is one of the best NES games on the system. Nearly everyone I know loved the game. Seriously can't understand Jeff's opinion on this one.

[@kyledodson2992]

I honestly hate it. It’s just a series of gimmicks and fancy visuals. It was like the super cinematic linear game of today but for the late 80s

[@MJSpiderman7116]

I loved it as a kid, but I started playing it again yesterday and was shocked at how awful the experience was. I love a challenging game, but this game is so badly designed that getting through it comes down to trial and error, which is something you wouldn’t be afforded back in the day. Games like the classic Castlevania’s were very hard, but a lot more fair and balanced by comparison

[@AmyZonkers]

@@MJSpiderman7116 Maybe one day you'll be able to form your own opinions.

[@citizenhal]

Battletoads sucked even at the time. Really terrible NES game.

[@MonotoneTim]

All your favorite AVGN classics today.

[@scottcorso9247]

It's been so long I forgot what the official list looked like!! I remember Athena being near the top. 🤣😉 And also the Bubble Bobble verdict got peer reviewed and moved up 15 slots.

[@piercegardner3207]

Also, Jeff practicing his dad-appalled-face during Back to the Future.

[@MimosaSector]

I know I don't pay but, Karnov!❤❤❤

[@Renoistic]

I always managed to get to the end of the first speed bike section in Battletoads but could never finish it. That game is just too hard for most people haha.

[@BenGoodsonModular]

Watching a man, clearly getting through a small wintery illness, silently and internally raging and debating the positional scientific merit of Back To The Future, is somehow the best entertainment on the internet. This says ALOT about the current state of the internet.

[@dashrando7892]

the kind of kids who would bring knives to school in 3rd grade played battletoads. the kids whose parents smoked cigarettes in the house played battletoads. them kids was hard and played hard games.

[@johnwestendorf]

Is there no HUD on guerrilla war, or is it not showing on the video because of the flicker rate? Same question on Back To The Future with the guys looking like they should be holding a pane of glass between them or something.

[@JohnBasedowYoda]

Might be the first time I actually saw a landing in Top Gun lol.

[@LeafhopperV]

Why did they use Touhou silhouettes for like half the achievements for Back to the Future

[@OrinLinwe]

Back to the Future for NES obviously isn't good, but I (retroactively?) have some fondness for the era of game development where movie-licensed games had some kind of interpretation to it, and that occasionally resulted in strangely interesting games. It was also sorta interesting, back in the SNES and Genesis days, where each platform had their own unique interpretation of "the general idea" of the IP. It happened so frequently that I have to assume that it was a thing mandated from on top ("no, this game can't look like a direct port of the Genesis version. It would look like they're leading and we're following!"). ...this whole thing collapsed in the PS1 era, where so many games seemed to have been developed with brutally restrictive parameters. "Ok, so we're going to do this licensed game, and it has to be recognizable as a game, about this IP, to as many people as possible. So no, you can't put your own spin on it, or explore the IP in any way. We have - I dunno - a month or something to make it, so just have batman collect blue triangles and have it be time-based."

[@Chummy8]

Just here waiting until he gets to Power Blade 2

[@pluckylump]

Battletoads has double tap dashing and dash moves. Those are the different moves that you think are coming randomly. You're likely just hitting double tap without realizing.

[@pluckylump]

Having limited continues is the part where Battletoads is full on bull farts.

[@steveb9713]

@@pluckylumpyou had to put in the extra lives codes and use the warps to fully enjoy the game

[@ToTheNines87368]

I was 7 when I got battletoads, so I was right in the moronic target zone. I thought they were cool as hell and was blown away by the animation of the game and how interactive it seemed to be. granted I didn’t really think of there being much more impressive looking games on SNES as I didn’t have one. But looking back, did I have a good time? With my friend? Yes. Alone? Not really. Also we never got passed the third level, never. I think number 86 is fair, even if it holds a special place in my heart.

[@AmyZonkers]

It sounds like you're exchanging your own opinion for being told what to think by an influencer.

[@Ewzzy]

Not enough is said on how tiny the Rambo logo is on that title screen. It's so so tiny.

[@EmptyTelevision]

Birdman handrub.... Awwww yea, another batch of NES reviewing!

[@nfugitt89]

The T&C main menu gives major Sonic aesthetic vibes. Another big early 90s game that stole something wholesale from T&C!

[@pointblank0020]

if you asked me what platform battletoads is on i woulda said snes. it's such a 90s game

[@kiloyardstare]

There was a super battletods game on SNES and the music was even more rad. It was impossible to beat, but the first 3 levels were fun.

[@steveb9713]

@@kiloyardstarebattlemaniacs was a great sequel, and actually beatable after playing years of nes battletoads

[@Jaspertine]

I had Battletoads as a kid. It scarred me.

[@sleepwalkusa135]

I'm really glad games like back to the future slipped by jeff until now

[@WarmongerGandhi]

Battletoads was NEVER good, but I wasn't expecting Jeff to get to full-on "fuck this game" even before the Turbo Tunnel. Wookie Hole is a little easier to deal with if you know how to use the wrecking ball mechanic (hold against the wall). It's still not GOOD, but the later levels are so much more bullshit that it almost seems like it by comparison.

[@BDreGameplay]

Wow rambo.. I have very distinct memories of playing this as a kid when it first came out. It might be the most confusing video game ever made. They're literally is no rhyme or reason to the way that any of the level structure or progression works. It's mass confusion at its finest

[@BDreGameplay]

Slalom's got a GREAT @SS! And you've got your head, all the way up it!

[@dryker7085]

I have to apologize. I dropped Gerstmann THE Videogamesman from my Patreon subscriptions, but I have corrected that error. He is still THE best personality in games... I miss Giant Bomb, but nothing gold can stay...

[@edge1000]

My copy of Rambo on NES is a censored version that doesn't say ''and get the hell out''

[@Pimpemon]

When is Jeff going to rank TMNT?

[@cryssnail]

Subscribe to the patreon to suggest games!

[@andrew77961]

They’ve been suggested! He’ll get to them eventually.

[@timtaylor9748]

Lands it like a boss

[@namewastaken360]

Surfing looks weak compared to California Games. Also I have a theory about Battletoads, I think it was designed in the UK for PAL TV and the NTSC version might be 20% faster. Playing the pal version the third level was definitely a difficulty spike, but not impossible once you got the rhythm. Not as hard as the snakes anyway. Haven't got to that part of the video, but heard Jeff's thoughts on it before.

[@OrinLinwe]

Rambo was the first rpg.

[@fredriksahlstenglimmevi3259]

The Gilligan's Island theme seems pretty close to the Pokémon anime theme to me. Anyone else?

[@bluespaceman7937]

If this is the future, I wanna go home to the past.

[@nelson-haha89]

I was expecting complete mastery of the battletoads hover bikes. I am disappointed.

[@kiloyardstare]

Jeff has always hated Battletoads with a firey passion that is entertaining to watch, but his opinion is wrong.

[@matthall7359]

What is with all the battletoads defenders lmao

[@kiloyardstare]

@@matthall7359 We all enjoyed the first three levels of Battletoads when we were kids. There's no talking us out of it now.

[@matthall7359]

@@kiloyardstare lmfao your souls are trapped there for eternity unable to beat the rest of the game but unable to let go of what was. Yknow I think you’ve changed my mind, you guys have suffered a terrible fate and Jeff should consider that when talking about the legacy of the game

[@schtive81]

I had a friend who had Back to the Future for his NES, and it really was one of the worst games I have ever played on the console. But Uncanny X-Men is worse. There is also a "Back to the Future 2 & 3" for the NES, also made by LJN. And it was bad too. Battletoads is a game I want to like, but plays really odd. I think all of the TMNT games on the NES are better. Even the first one. There are four. I never really played the NES Battletoads game on real hardware. But the Sega Genesis port was one of the first Genesis games I have ever rented .

[@ericwinters1513]

Battletoads is more style over substance, but it was a big hit for us TMNT kids. Without nostalgia goggles, it's not that great.