Let’s talk about how insane bachelorette parties have become

[@nickmag6142]

This whole notion of “last night of freedom” is so stupid. If you’re “freedom” is so important to you then don’t get married.

[@joettaxoxo]

I think bachelorette weekends is the norm is because it is more common now to have friends all over the country so they all have to fly in from somewhere to attend and so to make the flight and time worth while, they have extended to weekends. I think if you all live in the same metro area there is no reason to fly to another city for a weekend

[@cutelittledevil88]

Yes. I really have better things to do with my time. I am quite happy that my friend who casually invited me to Disneyland for her bachelorette ended up not officially inviting me.

[@milfywaygalaxy5096]

Then don't go lol Wait until you hear what they do in other cultures

[@cutelittledevil88]

@@milfywaygalaxy5096 I probably wouldn't have gone. But her not asking was a way easier out. I was one of 30 guests (covid wedding) so I'm sure we're good.

[@how-to-live-right]

@@milfywaygalaxy5096 what do they do in other cultures? In my Ukrainian culture, you pay for your own party

[@missnoneofyourbusiness]

​@@how-to-live-right​I'm curious too. In Mexico there are one or two friends who VOLUNTEER to throw the party and thus pay for the expenses. Plus whatever happens at the party is usually a surprise so the bride doesn't really get to decide how much is spent.

[@mimamimoo]

In some cultures theres no such thing as bachelorette

[@animilovich9563]

When I planned my best friends bachelorette party, we literally sat in my backyard and tie dyed shirts and just hung out one last time. Said best friend is now my matron of honor, and my bachelorette party is going about the same way. Spending the day at her house with all the girls (and guy) and a few others doing arts and crafts, baking cookies, and just enjoying time with each other. It doesn’t have to be extravagant. Ours is two days before the wedding, but also to allow the boys a day to sober up before the wedding. No one is required to come, but we also don’t want to break the bank either.

[@nickmag6142]

I wouldn’t call that a bachelor party. Just sounds like a normal get together

[@animilovich9563]

@@nickmag6142 to each their own. We couldn’t afford to go out like most and none of us were interested in going to the club or out and about. The point is: anything can be a bachelorette party. It doesn’t need to be expensive. And yes, it is a bachelorette party if the only people invited are the bridesmaids. The “few others” I mentioned were the flower girls who were old enough to attend since none of us were drinking. As long as it’s what the bride wants, that’s a win in my books. And the guy was a brides man. So only people in my party were there.

[@TAHOEkaleidonaut]

Ok, having several Japanese friends who’ve complained about it, I should mention Japanese Gift Giving Culture can be rather shocking upon learning of, & as is to the wallet. As well as EXPECTED protocol for specific occasions. Visiting someone’s house? Bringing food &/or sweets are a thing. Someone is leaving the company, or retiring from your work? Make sure you get to a florist before your shift & give them their bouquet BEFORE THEY LEAVE ON THRIR LAST DAY. Going on a vacay? Everyone - from co-workers to loved ones expect a gift from your adventure, so be sure to set aside a budget for that, communally shared stuff for acquaintances, & ask what people would like for anyone closer to you. The heaviest toll expected for gifts/money? Weddings, & it’s ABSOLUTELY REQUIRED… or the invitee should expect possible “hiccups” (or worse) with the inviter(s).😅

[@mimamimoo]

Depends on culture and where you'd be shocked british and fili have different ways of celebrating

[@mimamimoo]

And some dont give a sht about parties lol

[@lkf8799]

Charlotte Dobre has reacted to some outrageously entitled bridezillas. You can definitely find some juicy stories on this topic. The wedding industy is such a rip off.

[@meganmacomber521]

Why has this become a thing?? I’m planning one and just got the proposed cost for another and I CANNOT AFFORD THIS, 300-600 per person just for the air bnb. That’s multiple car payments, plus airfare is rent. This expectations is disgusting

[@Chislevs]

Same goes for hip destination weddings - I totally understand but it takes up so much time and money... (obviously not talking about when the destination is where one of them is from originally)

[@oliviac295]

It feels so entitled to ask people to use the money they set aside for travel and holidays, just to go to your wedding. Not to mention grandparents, children, time off work, and people who can’t travel. I can see it working if you know a lot of people who enjoy travel and/or are fabulously wealthy

[@StyleChatter]

Just don’t be friends with people. I’m in my mid thirties and have only been to one bachelorette party, about 10 years ago, actually. 👍🏽

[@louiseerbslisbjerg7854]

What I dont understand is why the people planning it would rather see some of the bride or groom's friebds excluded, over the often ridicolous activities. It's no fifferent from weddings which is also out of controm. It's no longer about celebrating a coiple's commitment, it's about showing off and pretending to be a "pretty princess". I calm it the Disney effect and I find it incredibly tacky. Most of all I dont understand why the actual friend or fsmily relationships, the emotionel psrts of it all, has so little importence. Peopke eould rather show off by spe ding their oen AND other people's money and if others cant afford it, they are exclyded and shamed for not wanting to "invest" in someones shallow, mainstream show. Yes. I said it. My wedding was about the prople we cared about. 35 people, including us. Outdoor ceremony and mainly decor and flowers taken from nature. Venue? A rented party room with a patio - but of course not a vinyard, manor or destination. No expectations of gifts etc. We just wanted the people there, them celebrating our union with us. And everyone were there, besides one who was about to pop their baby. A lot of weddings are'nt about the union,it's about "what you do" and trying to over do other people's affairs.

[@capucnechaussonpassion14]

Plus this is so not durable on wich world are those people living ??? It's not because you can afford it that you should do it. Going on vacation all the time all around your country/the world like this ? They're just destroyong everyone's ressources long term... It makes me sick that even though i try to limit my CO2 emissions i'll have to face the conséquences of their selfishness...

[@anac4950]

Some people take it too far Thousands of dollars whaaat idk if people in Belgium would be comfortable spending that

[@how-to-live-right]

I've never thought you can make your guest to pay for your own party.

[@TheVoltaire1]

It's a thing in America.

[@FrederikEngelmand]

Now it's a cheating party event, used to enjoy that last single day.... Despite being engaged for prob months.

[@amarchhabra2175]

Totally agree. Think one of the big costs, that is completely stupid, is all the money that gets spent on strippers. If that stuff isn't out of your system by the time you're getting married you shouldn't be. Why (collectively) spend hundreds if not thousands of dollars on a stripper? The point of one of these parties is to have fun with your friends. Don't know how people can have fun not knowing that some of their friends are putting hundreds of dollars on a credit card for this party that they cannot afford. Last bachelor party I wen to was the best. Was in Austin, TX. Bunch of guys rented an Air B&B. We went to some wineries in the area, bought steaks, food, and drink from HEB, and played some games/video games at the house. Best weekend ever. Cost me $200. For me this was reasonable weekend. 2 nights and three days.

[@CaspianSh]

It’s insane! At least if it was done to have fun and create memories, that would be something! It’s all for Instagram photos!

[@mimamimoo]

Quick question who plans thrse the bride and groom????

[@SimoneShaw-fy2zm]

How? Adults partying pathetic 😂

[@4zn1nv4zn3]

Oof whenever I setup my groom party. I was going to send an overview of what it will all entail, especially costs. Wouldn't want someone to commit to something without all the details

[@how-to-live-right]

why don't YOU pay for your own party?

[@pri.sci.lla.]

@@how-to-live-rightfair question but attending parties costs $. Gifts, transportation, maybe a new outfit?

[@KingComp67_-io3iz]

Lot of Women’s Bachelorette party marriage logic= before the wedding I can do Whörë activities then get married like nothing happened 😂😂

[@milfywaygalaxy5096]

Me and my sisters went camping. They surprised me. It was really fun! What's wrong with my sisters wanting to celebrate sisterhood with me for more than one day? Why are you bothered so much by how people have fun and how many times have you been a bridesmaid for a bachelorette events have costs you thousands of dollars? There's nothing wrong with a humble dinner, but there's nothing wrong with this either unless the bride to be is being a huge bridezilla. Brides don't throw their own party. Baby showers and surprise parties aren't paid by the guest of honor either. If you don't want to go then don't. It's very easy. The wedding is the event where they host. It's not that deep. "Parties are NOT sustainable" It's a party... Chill.

[@nat2562]

I was part of a wedding party that did a bachelorette weekend, it was pretty expensive, I couldn’t really afford it, but was expected to go anyway and I know the bride would have been mad at me if I didn’t go. And I know it’s not just her, it’s bridal culture in general, this behavior from brides is not unheard of, it is quite common. It’s ridiculous, weddings have turned into such a circus. If your sister did it in a way everyone enjoyed that great, I’m just saying there are a lot of people, myself included, that are tired of how overdone and expensive it all has become, but we are all expected to participate. It’s a valid complaint.

[@milfywaygalaxy5096]

@@nat2562 it's really easy. "I'm sorry. That's too expensive. I wish you well and I'll see you at the wedding" If they don't change plans or give you a hard time then they were toxic and you should cut em off. If you think this "culture" Is expensive then you should see what they do in other cultures. Maybe if people quit enabling toxic people it wouldn't be so bad. You not saying "no" and doing it anyway then complaining about it is insane

[@geishanguy]

@@milfywaygalaxy5096 I don't think it's always as simple as "that person is toxic". I know in my case my sister-in-law had a relatively expensive weekend away for her hens party, planned by her best friend, it was a surprise for her. They also planned a second hens day (also not exactly cheap) for those who couldn't afford the weekend away, plus everyone else who did! My sister-in-law would have been very kind and understanding if I told her I couldn't go because of the expense, but I did actually want to be there to support her. At both events 🤣 And it wasn't her idea to make it so expensive. I think it's a valid point that people need to be mindful of who they are inviting and their budgets. A weekend camping with your sisters sounds like amazing fun, but also doesn't sound like the enormous expense Chelsea is referencing in this video.

[@scarpfish]

How any one person chooses to spend their time and money, well that honestly is their business. Culturally though, we are turning every holiday, right of passage, social event, income tax refund and whatever insignificance we wish to make significant into yet another opportunity for crass consumerism and to drain our bank accounts. You don't think that this doesn't contribute to the phenomenon where 2/3rds of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck? Yes, you CAN say no, but yes a lot of people WON'T say no, and that puts a lot of social pressure on those of us who value being financially responsible over a dopamine fix complete with a hangover, a credit card bill and a sense of resentment. You extroverted big party, big money, big happy family types have been domineering this facet of our culture for way too long. Forgive Chelsea and those of us who agree with her if we finally decided to tell you we're fed up with that crap.

[@milfywaygalaxy5096]

@@scarpfish What do you mean "societal pressure?" A bride is one person. You don't have to participate in holidays or parties. If you can't say no for the sake of just keeping up appearances that's a you problem. Start saying no or nothing will change.