Work Sucks, Put On An Apron

[@S-R-H]

I was a stay-at-home mom with three kids all under the age of 10 when I got divorced. I left with nothing. He still owes back child support, and my youngest is now 23 years old. I started college immediately because my lawyer told me that if I depended on child support to make it, I would never make it. I hated hearing that, but that bit of advice saved me! I got my nursing degree 3-1/2 years after my divorce was final. Even with the better job, I had sole custody, and working 12-hour shifts with three kids is hard. When my youngest was getting ready to graduate from high school, I applied to law school and was accepted. At age 49, I became a licensed attorney.

[@chuachua-hj9zd]

You are such an inspiration

[@pro100olga]

What an inspiring story! I wish you all the best in your new career path!

[@katec9893]

That's amazing, you're an inspiring person and a great role model for your children too. I'm 41 and returning to work after a long period of illness so you're inspiring me too, I always love hearing stories of other women who have returned to work/retrained/started businesses.

[@Starry_Night_Sky7455]

What amount of caffeine assisted such an impossibly stressful exhausting schedule like that? It's amazing you didn't suffer any health downturn from such a Herculean ordeal. Forget Olympic athletes here. You deserve a medal 🏅 👏 for your accomplishment. Really! Your law school ought to have you give the next commencement speech.

[@FarahRoseSmith]

You're incredible! Your story seriously gives me hope that it isn't too late.

[@jennaburns7229]

The thing is… not everyone should be a parent and society doesn’t talk about that enough. Being aware of oneself to the extent that one can acknowledge they are not equipped to forego their personal needs and shift the priority to a tiny being should be CELEBRATED and not criticized.

[@carrino15]

I think many childless adult could easily be good parents, but they may see the economical burden, the lack of support by family and community, the demanding and harsh increasingly toxic environment children might need to grow up in. For some people it seems kinder to never birth the wanted children. Not to mention that the state loves to use young men and women to fend for power in wars....

[@Erintii]

Ppl who find kids annoying, noisy, and burden should not have them. True crime is full of horrible parent's stories.

[@Erintii]

​@carrino15 such ppl need support along with families

[@konpulsiv]

​@@Erintii I'd like to clarify tho: kids inherently *are* sometimes noisy, annoying and burdensome in the sense that raising them demands a lot from parents. Whoever is not prepared for that will eventually run into issues. It's not always sunshine and flowers being a parent, and you need the emotional stability to love and care for your children even during the more challenging moments of their upbringing.

[@TheAleksander22]

@@Erintiiyour kids aren't noisy?

[@iluvpinkandgold]

If not having children means you don't have a stake in the country ..... I shouldn't have to pay taxes.

[@HosCreates]

Taxes are theft

[@jakeshota4050]

Without context, i agree with your statement. I believe that the reason why some people don't want our future leaders to be childless is because they believe that those leaders will care less about the future of the country that our future generations will inherit. These childless leaders will instead profit in the short-term at the expense of our economy in the long-term. I hate having to pay as much taxes as we currently have to, but mostly because of how wasteful, inefficient, and corrupt the government is. However, even though I do not have kids right now, it does make sense to pay taxes to at least maintain public services.

[@Draggonny]

​@@jakeshota4050 It wouldn't be so offensive if it wasn't clear that so many of our political and business leaders who do have kids do not give a crap about the rest of the population. They assume that we're like them, only caring about immediate blood relatives, when in reality we have more empathy than the sociopaths that are destroying our planet.

[@emmamartin4045]

⁠@@jakeshota4050Come on 🙄 Leaders that have children can do exactly that since they will make sure that their own children will be the exception. The rest of us (and our children) can burn, they don’t care. That’s a fucking dumb argument. Having children has been the standard for thousands of years, and governments, politicians, etc, have always been awfully selfish.

[@AW-uv3cb]

@@emmamartin4045 I believe @jakeshota4050 actually agrees with you, they were just trying to explain some people's way of thinking. Which, to be sure, IS a dumb way to think. What a sad state of mind when you can't comprehend that people can care about their community without having a direct stake in it. Also look at Taiwan - their last president, Tsai Ying-wen, is a middle-aged single and childfree cat-owning woman, and she was selected to the office twice. She led Taiwan through the covid years and through blatant threats from China with grace and poised and received wide praise for it.

[@elizabethmatchefts8509]

I grew up in a conservative Christian home. I heard and believed things from my Dad like "Women aren't good leaders. They're too emotional and don't speak with a natural authority like a man." Now, I am a young leader at a Technology company who is respected and competent in the workplace.

[@funsizedi88]

I'm so sorry you had to deal with a bastard of a father. I was lucky, my father told me I could do basically anything men could do(ofc there are some physical limitations as I'm a small person). He told me to never let anyone tell me no, make then explain their thought process and pick it apart. He did also give me the reality that a lot of men think like your father, so I would have to work 5x harder to get my foot in the door. So, I used my middle name, which is a man's name, and pushed my way in the door. Took me 2 years vs my brothers 6 mos in the same field (we went to trade school together and my grades/attendance were better). So it has been a double edged sword, but once I get in the door, I show them I belong. CONGRATS ON DOING THE DAMN THING!! ❤❤

[@Subjugatedhappywife]

@@funsizedi88Jesus.

[@minervarose7664]

​@@funsizedi88my dad was like yours, feminist in the true sense of the word ❤

[@funsizedi88]

@@minervarose7664 I never looked at it in that way, but you have a valid point. I always just saw it as my dad believing in me.

[@xpsxps1339]

Your father was raised by the generations of his father and grandfather and those generations by their fathers/grandfathers etc. It's time to break this vicious cycle! Some women are natural and very strong(!) leaders and some men are not. It is a matter of many circumstances (why, it is not important in this context). It's time to embrace it and stop expecting things from people primarily based on their gender. A few years ago, I saw a TED talk, where a former CEO, married man, and father of children concluded that he was a woman. He was in his late 40s or early 50s. (I don't remember exactly how old he was when he realized that.) . One of the most interesting and empathetic talks I have ever heard! His juxtaposition of how he saw/experienced the world as a man and how the world reflected/behaved towards him as a man, and all of that once again when he "transgendered" (for lack of a better term, lol) and became a woman, is PRICELESS! Everyone should see his talks (they are multiple) where he explicitly explains how men have created a world around them, in which they have many advantages, and how women are exploited (by men!), which he could only understand when he became one. It's a fascinating story!

[@daisy_elle_]

I'd literally never agree to depend on a man with no income of my own. I've seen so many bad cases in my life of that happening

[@BewareTheLilyOfTheValley]

I like the ability to buy things without needing to ask for access to cash or a card, so I too could never see myself being reliant on another person. While I do feel major purchases (and this definition needs to talked over to determine what that means for each couple) should be discussed beforehand, I don't want to need permission to buy myself a fun hobby item, for example, or some cheap tech (I usually stick to the $100 to $200 range for things like headphones).

[@nellivilhelmiina]

I’m the same way, me and my man have separate bank accounts (ofcourse we split our loans etc., we own our house 50/50) and I love to have my own money. That brings security to me.

[@fabsmaster5309]

To me, that thinking sounds like the other side of the coin to men who say “I’d never marry a woman. Imagine being with someone for 20 years and any day they can decide to leave you and take half your stuff. I’m not going to leave myself so vulnerable.” Both are risks that you don’t have to take, but many people choose to take that risk because they trust their partner. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn’t, but for some people it’s the right choice.

[@zubaidahjalil5847]

@@fabsmaster5309 I would say the difference in both those cases is that in the former, a woman depending on her husband financially for many years (either to be a SAHM or otherwise) would mean that she has been out of the workforce, therefore negatively impacting her chances of re-entering it years or decades later because she has fewer years of experience, fewer opportunities to hone her expertise, skills, etc. In the latter situation however, if a man goes through a divorce, this does not impact his ability to earn or continue to earn highly because he has been working throughout the duration of the marriage. In other words, the impact of a woman relying on a man for marriage and a man having half his stuff given away in a divorce does not carry equal impact for both genders.

[@adamp6320]

If you're married don't you by defintion earn 50% (or more) of anything your spouse earns when you're being a stay-at-home-spouse in the worst case scenario of a divorce though? I guess you can't count on the courts to do that? But yes if you're not married then you should never be 100% dependent on someone else for financial security. And everyone married or no should have their own credit and money in their own name too.

[@auntiemame7076]

I remember a study a while back that showed women negotiated lower work hours and flexibility and were dinged by their employers. Meanwhile men didn’t ask permission, they just left early when they needed and were praised as being good dads for leaving early to pick up their kids. Women are so screwed STILL by this system.

[@lordfreerealestate8302]

Society: pushes wifehood and mother roles on AFAB/women strongly. Degrades childless women. Also society: penalizes women for motherhood in many, many ways. Damned if we do, damned if we don't.

[@mchlle94]

This! I had a colleague who would just leave at any hour during the day for some kid-related thing, and everyone applauded him for it. He barely did any work, and expected all the women in the office to pick up his slack, even giving orders to seniors and women who also had kids. He completely got away with it, because he was seen as "a great dad" and in the end it was yet again women who had to do more labor.

[@nobodythenobody9779]

... You literally just proved how women are screwed by their own choices, the men just left and didn't listen, maybe you should try it to 😂

[@LoneWulf278]

Yep! That’s how it is. I completely understand women who opt out of the work force because of this disrespect.

[@nobodythenobody9779]

That just sounds like they did it to themselves, the guys left, blaming men for taking more risk is crazy misandry

[@roxanebarbey1394]

Politicians implying that you need to be a parent to care about the future generations and fully ignoring childless teachers in public schools... Ha. I want to see them spend one day in our shoes.

[@Jennifer-my5dm]

I think Dolly Parton cares more about future generations than Michelle Duggar.

[@TheyArePreciousInHisSight-o9d]

So true. Childless soldiers, childless nurses, etc. Many of us do not need a genetic connection to care about people and our country.

[@hunterchefnashka]

I have no biological kids, but I'm teaching and raising over 200 children to become wonderful and strong adults. As you say, I'd like to see them spend a day in our shoes.

[@ElizabethChronis]

I recently saw that Vance is “disturbed by” teachers without children. So, yeah, apparently that’s also a thing. 🤯

[@slavbarbie]

Vile ​@@ElizabethChronis

[@BewareTheLilyOfTheValley]

I was a little bit scared when the woman who was formerly Morman said that she "started her own business" because in ghe Morman community especially, that's usually code for "I joined an MLM". So, SO happy that wasn't the case! I'm wishing her all the best and success with her actual business!

[@thenopedetective]

Did you finish? Sounds like she's now in law school, not focusing on teaching music (though perhaps she's continuing this on the side).

[@HosCreates]

Unfortunately many mormon women are pushed into leaving their jobs and being sahm. Quoting the proclamation on the family and sexist views from protestant religions background baked in. It's also a hold over from the backlash of the civil rights movement and feminist movements. The church leadership of mormons wanted to make sure there were no latchkey kids as well as separate but equal gender norms. Forgetting the fact that many single moms needed to work and heaping guilt and depression on many women's heads for the next 3 decades.

[@elinat2414]

To me its a terrifying notion to imagine a life where my financial security depends on whether my husband a) stays healthy and able to earn money b) finds me sexy, loveable and worthwhile. In the modern economy, crossing your fingers and hoping the above works out is NOT a financial plan. Im not saying women have to all become corporate girlbosses in order to be secure. But unless you are already independently wealthy, having a means to support yourself is a must. Its all well and good to he a pretty 25 year old mum of little children. But i want to check back in with these tradwives at 55, when the kids are independent, and they are completely economicly helpless, as they approach their more vulnerable older years with a man as their only safety net.

[@saltycrunch]

That tradwife at 55 is going to be replaced by younger model if she hasn't been already. We've all seen this story play out in previous generations.

[@namedrop721]

You could always try being disabled. You can experience that question of ‘if something happened to me would anyone still find me worth protecting and helping’ now even while working. Pain and suffering come for us all, but the ones who have people in their lives who will never abandon them have no idea how good they have it It bothers me when I see people smug about their life decisions. As if they are somehow soooooo much smarter than whoever they’re snubbing. I was smart too until an accident. Do you have enough worth that you’d still be fine? Do you?

[@thepragmatist]

I agree with this. I just spoke with a woman yesterday who lost her husband and he was in his early 50s. I knew him and he was a great person. They had been married a long time. They have one grown son and she works FT in IT. Nothing is guaranteed. Relying on one person for your livelihood isn't the greatest idea for the reasons you state.

[@saltycrunch]

@@namedrop721 I read this comment multiple times and I still can't figure out the relevance. Accidents resulting in disability unfortunately do happen. But that's all the more reason to protect yourself financially and not depend on another person for money, shelter, food, etc.

[@ludmilamaiolini6811]

@@namedrop721human beings have always relied on social support and there’s nothing wrong with needing it. But that doesn’t mean giving up on financial independence out of your own free will is the smartest thing to do. Some people aren’t lucky enough to have people who will be there for them, and it’s good to have a backup plan

[@PatriciaJoy]

I'm a nanny and have no kids but it sure feels like I've raised 6 children after all these years of nannying

[@miaomiaou_]

That’s because you have! And when they grow up, I’m sure they’ll remember you fondly 🥰🥰

[@xpsxps1339]

@@miaomiaou_ Absolutely true! And in some cases, the kids see the nanny as mommy even more than their biological mother. Sad, but true.

[@aas5775]

In my home country there is a generation of children raised by nannies, while their own mothers went to pursue a career. Usually these children have a better relationship with the nannies than with their mothers, who obviously know them better. The mothers usually resent this relationship. Especially when the kids become teenagers . I think it’s sad because the nannies (usually poor) leave their children to take care of somebody else’s children, while their own kids miss them. The nanny uses all her energy and time working and when they get there is not much left to their own kids. I know so many cases like that.

[@Fierie333]

there should be equal parental leave for men and women supported by the gov and corporations

[@cosmicpolitan]

Vance’s statement that childfree people have no stake in the future reveals more about him than us childfree people. Although I’m not a mother, I do PLENTY of mothering, from my neighbors kids, to my godchildren, to my nieces and nephews, not to mention the mentoring I do at work. I love them all and I deeply care about community and my extended human family. I want everyone’s families to be healthy and happy and to thrive. And yes I would happily pay extra taxes to make that happen. In contrast, people like Vance only care about his immediate family, not other people’s welfare. You don’t matter to him.

[@agravery223]

Exactly... he is the selfish one!

[@darkangel10001000]

Even if you pay higher taxes it still won't help the plain fact is our soicty will collapse if people don't start having children at least replacement rate (so 2-3 kids for each couple) places like Japan and Korea won't be around in 100 years. It's basic math. If each couple has one child then that child will need to care for 2 elderly people in some sort of fashion. 2 kids the care would be less and so on.

[@GrumpyPallasCat8015]

This tradwife trend is so weird to me. I'm in my thirties and never have I met a girl who wanted to be a SAHM. None of my classmates did and it wasn't a big or anything deal for anyone. It was just implied and accepted that we were all in school to later get a job and have a career. Never heard a boy or man say otherwise either. And while I'm glad that the work of SAHM is being discussed and truly valued for the first time since I remember, it's worrisome that young women can't seem to grasp WHY we were primed to seek a career in the first place: because our mothers and grandmothers lived that and didn't want that life for us. Because we heard stories of women in our lives who suffered abuse and couldn't get out because they had no resources. Because financial dependence is a very dangerous thing in this world - that always seemed common sense to me. And I was born and raised in a working class environment. None of the women I knew were SAHMs, that was just never a reality for the vast majority of women. They all worked, they all earned a LOT less than their husbands, and all their money was spent on the household. and the family. And lastly: I find it infuriating that for all the whining of these tradlife cosplayers about how they're so attacked by the feminists, it is the feminists and progressive movements that are fighting to make domestic and care work recognized and protected under the law.

[@luisaagudelo7782]

I´m 21 and, unlike you, i´ve heard friends and other women in my life say that they wish they could find someone that provided for them, if that meant that they could stay at home and not work, or the typical "I wanna marry a rich man that provides for me", but mostly because it would allow them to pursue activities that they would rather be doing. And they are not dumb or vapid interests: one of my friends said that she would marry a rich man if that meant that she could keep working on philosophical enquiry and focus on her research without worrying of finances. Tbh i´ve seldom thought it myself. Not seriously ofc but my reasoning has been that society demands a lot of me as a worker and person and other people´s perception of me can make or break my future. Also I have never felt like I am a very assertive person or the "girlboss" type that everyone tells me that I have to be. Sometimes I jokingly say that i would´ve made a terriffic wife in the 18th century (canonically attractive, can cook, play instruments, sew and knit, read a lot and make decent conversation lol) and to an extent, my way of being would have been more convenient at those times than what it currently is. I can see why types like me would be a perfect target for these lifestyle influencers and sometimes I do think that things are easier if you only have to appease ONE person in your life (that is, your husband) if the only criteria for being a `good woman` are keeping yourself tidy, obedient, joyful and attractive (I like to think it would be easy for me. To an extent). But I also know this way of being of mine takes a certain privilege, a "not having to fight for anything in my life or to be heard", in order to exist. Nevertheless, I also want people to admire my ideas and to contribute to a better world. Also my grandmothers told me about the importance of having my own income and emancipating myself (they were SAHM most of their life so they must know what they mean). [ALSO I know this trad-wife ideal i´ve just mentioned is veeery watered down from its actual duties and implications]. The bottom line is, maybe we would like to be appreciated more for the way we are and what we actually like to do, rather than as just people who work (and look pretty). That is my perspective. Sorry for the rambling. edit: spelling and such. English is not my first language.

[@TheRealBigEE]

Yup the SAHM life isn’t as idealistic unless you have a strong capable man who provides and also does his fair share of the housework and childcare. That’s a game changer

[@Subjugatedhappywife]

I’m sorry you’ve never met someone in your age group that wanted that. Everyone has a different upbringing. Coming from a single parent home I’ve always wanted to be a SAHM and have been fortunate enough to have that. My mom worked two dead in jobs constantly, she use to leave at 4 am just to walk to the bus stop. Her and I are very close but I never got to see her. I craved to have two parents and knew I would never be a working woman. Everyone’s different. Just because we aren’t actively being shown things in the “media” doesn’t mean those desires have disappeared.

[@Subjugatedhappywife]

@@TheRealBigEEthat’s why vetting is imperative

[@GrumpyPallasCat8015]

@@Subjugatedhappywife Don't be sorry, I'm not. None of my friends regret the paths they chose. What I meant was that was not a point of discussion for anyone, male or female. And I don't think being a SAHM is a sign of being dumb or naive. There are valid reasons to choose that. But I also don't see the people pushing that lifestyle talking about its downsides or the very vulnerable position that it is. Because even if you have the best of partners who would never leave you and does right by you, there's a real chance something could happen to him - how are you going to support your family if he becomes disabled? What if he d1es? How are you going to find a job with no work experience? Not to mention the terrible pressure on your partner for being the sole breadwinner. Those are the things noone talks about. All we see is the "soft life core" and such, and in the world we live in, that is neither an ambition within the reach of a majority of people, nor is it safe. Women can be whatever their hearts desire, all I ask is that they be honest about it.

[@anakreyszig303]

I'm in my 50s and became a member recently. I watched the video on no one being able to afford children anymore and thought (and may have commented on) how we needed to talk about how politicians have now taken to attacking the "child-free cat ladies". And here you are, having the discussion about that, and so much more. Thanks, Chelsea.

[@saschamayer4050]

You can afford children. Many children. If you're either rich or poor.

[@synthiarahman6672]

​​@@saschamayer4050 umm...no can't. Having kids is different ND bringing them up is different, I belong from a middle class family. My mom is solo earner, she's doing great for a family of three but she didn't have any kid except me because she knew it'll be hard to handle expenses

[@SpringSpark]

My mom is a tradwife, but she had kids in her 30s, with ~15 years of work experience. Her and dad have been married for almost 40 years now. You can say it worked out for her, but from the earliest age, my mom was drilling into me that I need to work, I need to be financially independent, and I need to hold on to my employment. My mom inherited the apartment we lived in, and my dad was never registered there. She always put away money and, as a result, always had substantial savings.

[@WhatsMyemail]

Yes independence is great but if you want a family then it’s either having 2 jobs or outsourcing that, which a lot of people can’t afford. I don’t plan to work personally, but have rich parents and good savings from my job.

[@SigFigNewton]

Yes, inheriting real estate does tend to result in financial stability

[@margaritanewyork1033]

@@SigFigNewtonso often overlooked…that should have been the first sentence

[@mcgc93]

In case Ashley sees this : I cannot fathom what it took to get where you are. Your children have an amazing mom and I'm sure you'll be a fantastic lawyer with that kind of work ethic.

[@whatamess8764]

100%

[@alexandraro901]

yes! thank you so much for telling your story ❤

[@MiroirNoir]

I just wanted to hug her in so many moments. You should be so proud of yourself, Ashley ❤️

[@ashleyworthen3506]

Ashley here! Thank you so much for the kind comment. It means more than I can say.

[@mcgc93]

@@ashleyworthen3506 ❤️❤️❤️

[@isag4999]

I am a mom and having a child has actually taught me even more that parent life isn't for everybody and I say that with ZERO judgement. I don't understand why people feel the need to tell people (read: women) that their lifes must be empty or unfulfilled because they don't have offspring. Not only is that incredibly rude to tell someone how to live their life, but also children are work and they force you to become another version of yourself, wether you like it or not. I love that right now there's a shift towards letting people live their lifes and minding your damn business - even if that change will take time.

[@pro100olga]

Exactly! I also have a child, and I can not understand those people trying to persuade other people to have kids. Like, if you want to have a dog, they would ask you if you are totally sure, cause it's a lot of responsibilities, but with kids - don't think, just make them! It's crazy. And I'm also happy this seems to be changing

[@dominiquejones6758]

I never understood women who said they didn’t want to work they wanted to be SAHM. That’s MORE work and you don’t get paid. Sounds like a scam to me.

[@bintshanda1]

Lol honestly it’s for some women and not for others. I’m a sahm. I worked for about 10 years before becoming one. Personally, I find raising my children to be much more fulfilling than I ever found working to be even though I don’t get paid. I don’t expect everyone to understand but that’s been my experience.

[@andrewjpalla]

Ashley's story is both inspiring and heartbreaking. I don't think I even understand the level of resilience that it took to start over from scratch after a divorce with two kids to care for.

[@nchgs]

And in a society that looks down on divorce because it goes against religious morals 😢

[@HosCreates]

Just got to love religious guilt!

[@rosiebanks5618]

I was left with 3 under 5. I had no job and was broken. I struggled for a while but I finally now have a life I am proud of. The fight I realised I have in is unmatched with anything else. I wish I'd had a safety net financially though, I now do. Just in case.

[@elihan9]

My mother hates this trad wife phenomenon. She was a working woman who always enforced the idea that you need to be self-sufficient. As a kid, chores were done by everybody. Both my parents worked because everyone needed to step up to make the household run. As a man, I don't view household work as "women's" work. It's just work. Everyone needs to be able to do it, or they are considered worthless. As a partner, I don't want to be the sole breadwinner. I don't want that entire responsibility. A lot of boys think that having the man be the only worker is good. It isn't. The entire financial success or failure of the family is on you. If your family goes hungry, has utilities shut off, or becomes destitute, it's your fault as the sole breadwinner. The men who lived this, they will tell you that your money isn't yours. It's the families' money. Your wants and needs only get addressed after the children and partner. Also, in a subtle and terrifying way, your family only sees you as the person with money, which makes your position transactional. Two people working and sharing responsibilities ensures that both of them have more time for leisure and personal human flourishing.

[@conniemc86]

My mom was the same, and made sure my brothers and I all knew how to do some basic things in the kitchen AND yard work. I now have girl/boy twins (teenagers) and feel so strongly about that last line of your comment - I don't want either of them to have to contend with being judged for not being "enough" (homemaker/mother or breadwinner). When responsibilities are truly shared, it takes the weight off of both individuals.

[@GeeEee75]

Let's not pretend that tradwives are what men want. It's what the patriarchy wants.

[@Alphacheesehunter]

This. This so freaking hard.

[@AkiUtada]

This, I think asking a person, man or woman, to be the sole breadwinner of a family is putting them under terrible pressure. What if they are unhappy in their job? What if something unexpected happens to them? Especially if, in order to make up for only having one income, that person has to work 10-12 hours a day (this seems to be very common in American households with SAHMs), thus robbing them of spending quality time with the children and putting their future health at risk.

[@elihan9]

@AkiUtada This concept was brought to my attention from a 2017 interview on Chapo Trap House. An Irish writer was saying how she grew in a patriarchal society and mocked the alt right for assuming patriarchal meant the man is in charge. The man had the money, but the man had to work 12 to 16 hours of backbreaking labor. They never got to see their children and died in their 50s. It was brutal, austere, and short. It could also explain why a lot of men engaged in destructive habits and addictions. They may have been the only acceptable outlets, but they destroyed the men in the process.

[@LJournals]

When I was much younger, my mother told me that a good woman should both excel at her job and take good care of her husband and children. I replied, "That sounds like a lot of work. Now I'm happily childless and live with a beautiful cat.

[@thepragmatist]

It's like two full time jobs.

[@Jaylade]

It is, thats why people pay for grocery delivery, laundry care child care etc.

[@Pomagranite167]

Sorry to your mom, but any man worth his salt will take care of his woman, not have his woman take care of him. Better to be smart woman than a good woman in this case.

[@jaquelinecosta3121]

This actually reminds me of when my told me that I should know how to clean and cook otherwise no man will want me and I just replied "I'll be rich and have a maid don't worry" gosh I was so nonchalant about it as well 😂🤣

[@minniemoe4797]

The thing is "have it all" type of women never get to see their kids growing up. And for most of them, it doesn't pay off to care for a husband, because many of them get divorced.

[@hannahweldu2114]

IM SO EXCITED TO HEAR YOU SPEAK ON THIS!!! ITS WHAT WE NEED!!!!

[@thefinancialdiet]

:D

[@PleasantRevolt]

I would love a video about how to have “hard conversations” with your partner.

[@doomedwit1010]

I was going to make a joke, but obviously it's a good topic. It describes about half of all Dear Abby type columns and half the divorces.

[@jasminecollins897]

Seconding this.

[@muiawat]

17:38 this “un-fair” play segment seems very influenced by the work of fair play , it’s book and the card game by Eve 19:48

[@whatamess8764]

Great topic! I'm so bad at communication in general and this would so helpful.

[@Jaylade]

Forget about that and watch Mel Hamlet. If theyre not already unpacking their sexism and indoctrination into their late 20s its already too late

[@pisceanbeauty2503]

The popularity of “Trad Wife” media is just showing how far the Overton window has shifted to the right. We’ve forgotten all of the lessons learned from the not-so-distant past whether it be the need for two income households due to potential for economic instability or the dangers of women being nearly completely reliant on their partner for financial stability including the erosion of rights for women as a whole (as we are seeing happen in real time in the US). Many women seemed to miss that the critique of the #Girlboss was about women replicating harmful hypercapitalistic and exploitative behaviors in leadership, not of the idea of women participating in the work force or being in leadership roles in and of itself. I don’t know how the response to working women having to take on a disproportionate amount of childcare, housework, and emotional labor became for women to embrace this “1950’s housewife” archetype that was never a reality for women, versus demanding that men step up and that society better accommodate the needs of women and families. My biggest gripe is that the Trad Wife lifestyle as advertised is not feasible or realistic for 95% of women, and young girls and women are being sold this as attainable when they’d be better served focusing on more practical ways to improve their life (self improvement, education, etc.) and learning how to stand on their own before finding a partner.

[@AlexaBellaMuerte]

It’s terrifying where we stand today, romanticizing the old times as if it wasn’t extremely depressing to be a woman back then

[@auntiemame7076]

Wow, can’t believe I am catching you live. I am a 50+ woman and really appreciate your insights, tone and style!!

[@thefinancialdiet]

Thank you!!

[@miriamgombita2444]

Same here I also a 50+ woman. Your chanal is the only Chantal I am a member of

[@fortheloveofLDS]

Both guests absolutely slapped, probably my favorite vid in the series so far!

[@worstcyberpunkdystopia2188]

The simple fact that until the 1970s women couldn't get a credit card is mindblowing to me.

[@teresamagnusson]

It's crazy

[@francesckaringgg]

I mean, ccs became popular in the late 60s......... oh wait maybe your big brain thought we've had credit cards for hundreds of years

[@teresamagnusson]

​@@francesckaringggIt wasn't just credit cards, women couldn't have their own bank accounts. We've had banks for how long?

[@carlynsykes6053]

Doesn’t matter how long credit cards were around, it’s simply the fact that they were created and women were specifically excluded for any length of time. The point about when is just how recently that position changed. It’s mind blowing to me too that it was only about 50 years ago.

[@baabaa9000]

@@carlynsykes6053 That's not quite how that happened. Women usually needed a male co-signer for pretty much any kind of loan, which just got rolled into credit cards. Remember, this wasn't a law, it was just a convention that individual bank managers mostly adhered to. This is probably why the specifics tend to differ based on who you ask; different people had slightly different experiences with this system. Sometimes you'll hear it had to be her husband, sometimes her father, etc. None of them are lying; it's just that this wasn't a legal mandate, and it got interpreted differently by different people.

[@martypoll]

The law student gave the best advice - go into a relationship, any relationship, with eyes wide open. Trad wife or girl boss, children or no children, stay at home mom or working couple, whatever . . . it’s all good. The information you need to plan your life is there for you. You or you and your spouse are ultimately responsible for your education and choices and responsible for the consequences. There will be successes and failures. That’s just how life is . . .

[@Jaylade]

Until a man manipulates you into staying home!

[@martypoll]

@@Jaylade Don’t allow yourself to be manipulated. You both should agree as to how to live your life together.

[@ladydixon9651]

​@@martypollwhile I agree with what you say broadly, that's not how manipulation works

[@courtneyandkavita7703]

Adding to the discussion of divorce, traditional gender roles, and finances -- Keep in kind that a marriage can break down at ANY point. My parents-in-law were both almost 70 when their relationship fell apart and they got divorced. My MIL - who gave up her career to be a SAHM in her late 20s - is now basically poor, or close to it, because her only income is social security and maintenance payments from her ex-husband. She is too old and "unskilled" to return to the workforce. She is lucky that she is able to live rent-free in the house they used to share, because she would not be able to afford rent otherwise. She claims that she doesn't regret her choice to be a SAHM, but given her current financial situation, I am skeptical.

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

54:50 "Motherhood is the ultimate MLM" 100%!! Fantastic quote.

[@sarah_vs_utah]

Savage and AMAZING.

[@LeticiaAGentil]

My husband has always said it is a pyramid scheme! Parents are going insane and telling you that you should have children. We do have 2 because we wanted to, but I don't tell anyone to have their own because I think only people who really really really want to have children should have children.

[@jrochest4642]

The difference between "stay at home moms" and "tradwives" is in the names! SAHM is a role focused on caring for children -- you stay at home in order to raise and support your preschool kids, and if that means weight gain and a house full of crumbs and Lego, that's what you and your husband signed up for. Tradwife is a role focused on pleasing a husband, or, if you're a content creator, modelling/fanservicing a fantasy 'perfect submissive hot wife' to guys who want to imagine themselves as the conservative head of a household, without any idea of what that role really means (financial precarity, constant labour, and a house full of crumbs and Lego).

[@amarshall5407]

Pausing this video to say I have apparently been dead or at least heavily disassociated from social media for the last few months to years cause I have no idea who half these influencers are and I have no idea what "sprinkle sprinkle" means

[@nleem3361]

Me either.

[@tennilledebysingh5819]

@@amarshall5407 Same! Though I am on social media and watch KZbin, but I guess that Is not my topic of interest so I would never know about these odd tradwifey culty people.

[@minorcadence1]

SheraSeven is a famous influencer who uses it as her catchphrase. She is all about finding a provider man to pay the bills, etc. I actually love her! Very entertaining.

[@empyrea_2546]

Keep it that way. Sprinkle sprinkle is brainrot

[@SigFigNewton]

My understanding of is is that it’s gold digger lessons. Winds up fueling channels where bitter men gather to talk about being used by women

[@saramoore4377]

I loved this conversation and as a 23 yr old with a trad wife fy page, I would like to add something. I think food and health is a huge aspect here too. The rate of autoimmune diseases is increasing, a lot of people are suffering with mental health concerns. A lot of us are not feeling good- mentally and physically. And at first glance, the tradwife lifestyle seems to solve a lot of these problems. I think the slow life movement popped up around covid with a lot of people suffering from long-covid, mental health, etc. Work burn-out and the bodies reaction has a lot of us wanting to focus more attention on our health- hence, the "slow life". Spending more time with family, having time for hobbies (reading, sour dough bread, crochet, pickle ball, etc) and moving out of cities to suburbs or the countryside. Of course tradwife life is relatable. But the big one- food. Let's say you have an auto-immune condition (or really any other health concern), the first thing you hear is nutrition and exercise. If you start looking into nutrition, you quickly enter a pipeline of everything is unhealthy and you need to make it from scratch. Which leads us back to tradwives. You see thin, healthy, glowing women cooking everything from scratch surrounded by family- of course it's aspirational! (Side note- also the aspect of being surrounded by family and love when there is a loneliness epidemic) But back to food, of course it's a luxury nowadays to have enough time to prepare a meal from scratch but that's becoming the modern desired life. It's no surprise. I understand it completely. Being the child of divorced parents and seeing my mother struggle, I personally know that being financially reliant on my future husband is not something I feel comfortable with. But, that's just me. This is just a side note but I think we need to reframe the way we view prenups. I think they are the ultimate act of love. Loving someone enough to take care of them even if you are not together is beautiful. Having a safety net in place for both people so that if one or both are unhappy, they are able to leave. That's love! Anyways, I love your videos!

[@slaymaster01]

23 and i agree, thanks for mentioning this element…..covid affected us all drastically and not everyone will admit it

[@ih2439]

This is so spot on! I’m 36, a married working mom of two kids and I can’t tell you how exhausted I am trying to do it all and making sure my kids eat healthy and home-made foods while we all run around being busy. And I don’t want to hear anyone claim that you can eat healthy foods without much time or effort, that is patently false. Cooking a home-made dinner daily takes me at least an hour of prep and cook time and it doesn’t include cleanup. You are also constantly working against the normalization of ultra processed foods as being an appropriate way to feed your kids. It’s not, we’re all just tired and exhausted so people make do, but microwave Kraft Mac and cheese isn’t food and we shouldn’t accept this as being the norm for our kids. Childhood obesity, hypertension, autoimmune disease are on the rise for a reason. As a result, of course the idea of having more time to actually take care of your family is appealing to people.

[@cfromnowhere]

I have multiple autoimmune diseases that lead to disability and I can't agree more. When so-called "financial independence" is no longer practical for a disabled person in an increasingly unfulfilling and exploitative workplace, home is where we can find peace. I am unpartnered, but I live with my parents now so the situation isn't very different.

[@MsAnubisia]

Another KZbinr recently dropped a video on the "Crunchy to Far-Right Pipeline" and I absolutely feel like there's a connection here too, as you mentioned.

[@kagitsune]

Wow, yes Pre-nups as an act of love! That is spot on.

[@deedsh6280]

i was drawn to your comment near the end. With the next generations so far removed from the reason women (and some men) moved into activism for the most basic of rights, time is providing a false context: that we couldn't move back into that world again. It's like the creepy feeling you got when watching the Handmaid's Tale, and then realize that pieces of what you see as exaggerated fiction actually hold a light to some of what is evolving today. Great discussion.

[@lalittl]

You know what i hate about handmaids tale? They make it seem like this is some dystopian universe instead of the reality of what actually happened to all women of color during colonialism in 100s of countries and the reality of every slave woman during chattel slavery. It’s probably the most tone deaf thing ive ever seen.

[@GeeEee75]

​@@lalittlHave you read the book? You also might like to read any commentary by Margaret Atwood about the influences that went into the writing of the book. It's basically an amalgam of all sorts of historical events and customs from around the world, for example, the stoning of social and sexual transgressors.

[@GeeEee75]

Yes. One thing that has always made me angry is when people, especially women, don't want to exercise their right to vote. Our female ancestors fought so hard for you to have the right to vote!

[@lalittl]

@@GeeEee75 no i haven’t read the book. As I said, the lack of representation of women of color (whose ancestors actually experienced this less than 200 yrs ago) in the tv version was nauseating enough.

[@kimberlybega8271]

Margaret Atwood has said in interviews that everything in The Handmaid's Tale was inspired by something that had already happened in the world. And she published the book in the mid 1980's.

[@lordfreerealestate8302]

Work isn't something that will 100% save you. Productivity and labor aren't the be-all end-all of everything (it can be a capitalist mindset). But neither are the "traditional" roles of wife and mother. Either can be a valid path if done for the right reasons (not because of societal/religious pressure), with the right mindset (not being naive about how hard it is), with the right person, and with awareness of what works for YOU.

[@miaomiaou_]

It’s true, but work pays. We will always need money it seems. Housework does not pay :/

[@pro100olga]

Nothing will 100% save you. But having a skillset and work experience make it muuuuch easier to find a source of income compared to not having them.

[@randomlyswatching9481]

I need money to live. I need skills for that im sorry

[@muiawat]

31:45 there’s gotta be a whole bunch of people working on that farm that they aren’t showcasing

[@syntheticjesso]

One point about Ballerina Farm that I think was missed here: you say she chose to marry this guy and give up on her dreams, but did she really CHOOSE that? As Zelph On The Shelf pointed out, if she was raised Mormon, she was taught her ENTIRE life that being a wife and mother is her entire reason for existing on this planet, and her only way into heaven. When you're brainwashed like that from birth, and then this guy stalks you into dating him and pushes you to marry and get pregnant ASAP, is it really a truly consensual choice? Does it count as a choice if you really, truly believe that there is no other option?

[@christophergeorge1288]

The only part that I disagree with is that, regardless of the brainwashing, as long as these decisions were made as an adult, it was still a choice that was made that came with some dire consequences. However, understanding now that she was raised Mormon in a culture that emphasized the Trad-wife lifestyle, adds a ton of context. I still sympathize for her and wish she could find a way out of she's truly not happy, since the forces of religion can be very strong.

[@snoopstheboss994]

@@christophergeorge1288 There are a lot of videos from former Mormons or Hasidic women out there.... "Choice" is very relative if you hear their testimonies.

[@AnnaEmilka]

Not to mentioned that her now husband literalkly STALKED her and asked his daddy to give him a plane ticket next to her seat so he could bother her uninterrupted for hours, after which she caved in and agreed to go on a date. This is literally manipulation verging on psychological abuse.

[@agravery223]

Also the ballerina farms lady doesn't own her social media. It's all in her husband's name. Like even if she wanted to leave she couldn't because nothing is in her name amd he is wealthy and can keep the divorce going for years. 😢

[@kmariebrinkmann]

I'm currently a SAHM - not by plan, but by circumstance. Putting aside the anxiety I have about my own financial security and opportunities now and in the future, my being a SAHM is also not good for my husband. He is always under pressure to work and do well at his job while also somehow not burning out, to be healthy and not get sick, to not get hurt, because he provides our financial security. I don't understand why men want and choose this. I'm doing my best to get back to work for myself, my husband, my marriage, and in the end, my child.

[@kandystorressantiago8865]

Domestic Slavery sounds unappealing to me -_-

[@user-fy8lw1lj5x]

What's the difference between domestic slavery and cooperate slavery 😂😂some compensation

[@TheAleksander22]

When you use the word "slavery" you're trivializing hundreds of years of torture, murder and exploitation. Cooking a humble meal for your husband isn't slavery.

[@soapaddict09]

​@user-fy8lw1lj5x the difference is children are, for the most part, a CHOICE. Couples / people don't have to procreate. We have to work. Paying people to be parents is absolutely ridiculous. Live with the consequences of your actions.

[@Odumase]

@@soapaddict09y’all are the same people who then get mad when people choose to be childfree

[@soapaddict09]

@@Odumase 100 percent incorrect because then I'd be getting mad at myself

[@iieshacarter]

Not “I hope they’re cheating on their husband” 😂

[@choleymoley]

😂

[@jaquelinecosta3121]

I thought "did I hear this right??" 🤣

[@nleem3361]

I'm 45, so have a lot of friends with grown up kids, so it's wild to hear being a woman is all about being a mom when the kids are only kids for so long. So even the ladies who staid home may want to do something else when the kids get to a certain age. I hate all the stereotyping. Why can't people just do what works for them & their friends without pushing me to do the exact same thing? Just because I'm not doing the same thing as someone else, don't mean I'm judging them for doing it. We've gotta quite perpetual the fight.

[@lesliesmith7312]

Yes ! And just because someone does a video showing something about their life doesn’t mean they’re trying to make you do the same

[@Serioslump]

Just a little thing: saying a step parent doesn’t have “children of their own” isn’t the best language to use. I don’t know my bio dad, and I consider myself 100% my stepdads son. A better term would be “biological children”. Love your work though, very informative as always.

[@meg7578]

I agree

[@99living]

Our personal experiences don’t give us the right to police others’ language. As a stepparent, I find it completely acceptable to say, ‘I don’t have children of my own,’ because that’s the truth. It doesn’t hurt my feelings, but the term ‘biological children’ actually does, as it triggers feelings about biology. This idea of censoring language isn’t helpful

[@lalittl]

@@99living and as a step child, he doesn’t find it acceptable, sounds like a fair disagreement and everyone can have their own opinion

[@Serioslump]

@@99livingso you don’t consider your stepchildren to be your children? Very sad for them imo. Let me break it down for you Biological child just refers to when someone is one half of a physical sexual union resulting in a child Stepchild is when you take on the parent role for a partners child Adopted child is… hopefully self explanatory In all three of these instances, the parent (biological, step, or adoptive) has a “child of their own” - at least they do if they have an ounce of respect for the child and treat the relationship with the seriousness it deserves. Therefore saying “child of my own” when you only mean biological children is incorrect. I am just letting a content creator know. It’s not my job to help you unpack or improve your relationship with your step kids, and I’d appreciate it if you would keep your family issues away from me in future. Thanks

[@Jaylade]

So because my boyfriend has two kids I should say theyre mine? Even though I have 0 say about their upbringing? 😆

[@emilym9390]

the term "childless" to describe people who are actually child-*free* doesn't sit right with me. the way jd vance inadvertently (by his own stupidity and limited vocabulary) shamed women who want children but can't have them is ironic to say the least.

[@jessicacarnes15]

I am "child free" but I would absolutely have kids if economics allowed. Childless is a term widely associated with infertility. The reality is most child free people are child free because they know the gap between what type of childhood they would want to give their child and what is actually feasible isn't worth attempting to bridge. Many child free people lack mental health supports and good jobs or finances to afford nannies and domestic labor. Sadly for all the PR, childless is the reality under the veneer and positive spin of "child free". Very, very few people in a hypothetical world of unlimited resources would still not choose to be parents. It stings because he's right.

[@emilym9390]

@@jessicacarnes15 even if economics allowed i have no desire to raise children 😭 idk I love kids and they're great but being around them 24/7 would make me anxious and irritable. people have depended on me ever since I was a child (weird i know) and i just want the rest of my life to focus on myself:)

[@CafeLu]

I feel as a genX person whose grandmothers and friends grandmothers all warned us about making sure we don’t get trapped in marriages with kids, I feel it is weird to see marriage still being so hyped like it is. Not that it is all bad, but it is definitely not all that great either. We need more realistic conversations that make people seriously consider how they will be ok to get out of it if need be. Having a plan B is never a bad idea!

[@ElizabethChronis]

I’d also love more concrete conversations about making the SAHM life more financially viable. The number of commenters that seem terrified of the possibility is astounding to me because not all 1 income households are abusive - I’d even wager most aren’t.

[@annakosiarek3026]

"just because the girlboss was a trend worth rejecting, doesnt mean its opposite is worth embracing." DAMN you SAID it

[@user-te5po4bu8o]

The REAL traditional way is to raise children in a COMMUNITY, with many women pitching in to do the labor. The role of childless aunties in real traditional societies is huge. Rich American Christians are just larping poverty again.

[@soapaddict09]

No, it is not my job as the CFBC person to be at the beckoning call of parents. Do you get what Childfree means? We are not substitute parents. We chose not to be parents for a reason. You chose to have kids, they're YOUR responsibility. Time to put on your adult pants and grow up.

[@user-te5po4bu8o]

@@soapaddict09I know, I’m not in a community like that and don’t want to be. I’m trying to point out to women interested in being a trad wife that they’re being sold a complete lie. They’re all out there trying to make it work, and it doesn’t work at all. The online tradwife life is an absolute lie.

[@alliesaizan3593]

you may be interested in the you're wrong about episode about tradwives, if you haven't listened to it already. that was also the host's conclusion, that in general society is shifting itself away from community-oriented methods of caretaking.

[@maryk4591]

@@user-te5po4bu8o it’s interesting that tradwives bother you so much! Most are raising their kids in church communities so they arguably are more in community than the average American today(who are more lonely and isolated than ever). As a feminist I support these women and their right to live their lives as they choose, without judgment.

[@lalittl]

@@soapaddict09 THIS!!! and to think they wrote this on a feminist page but child free MEN’s role in raising kids in community was mentioned no where. It’s up to the women with and without kids to do it all 😂😂

[@defiantlypinki1107]

I’m 27 and I’ve been on team “single and childfree by choice” for a year now. It’s a lot easier to focus and love myself, than self-sacrifice for a man and child. Granted I will say, I am very lucky that I was born a twin, and can live the DINK lifestyle regardless.

[@ruinerblodsinn6648]

Just remember that the way you feel right now will change when you age. It does for all of us. Also, what do you sacrifice for being without a family? Everything get repetitive after a while and your friends are not going out with you forever - let me tell you: it's getting weird going to a club in your 40s.

[@GeeEee75]

​@ruinerblodsinn6648 Trust me, by the time you're in your 40s, you aren't going to be going out clubbing anyway. 🙄 And many of us are still happily child free and single in our 40s, with no regrets.

[@emilywen8492]

⁠@@ruinerblodsinn6648 Hobbies, taking care of physical and mental health, exploring the world, and last but not least focusing on our career, you name it, we childfree people will not be bored, rather enjoy our freedom.

[@ruinerblodsinn6648]

@@emilywen8492 I’m child free guy in my 40s living my life the way I want. I am not trying to convince you to change - I am m just saying that you also shouldn’t blindly listen to someone on the internet that a specific lifestyle is bad. Lastly: you don’t know how you will think of these things in 5, 10, 15 years, but at some point biology and our social surrounding will have changed and there is no going back. Good luck to you!

[@sabrinasmith5088]

@@ruinerblodsinn6648men in general forego deep personal and familial relationships and tend to get lonely after a certain age so for men, maybe what you say tracks. For women, we are the pillars of relationships so we don’t really have that problem

[@Jena-t5u]

GREAT VIDEO! I'm 70, a married woman with 2 adult kids, have worked 45 years as an attorney. Many younger women have no idea how limited options were back in the day. Inspiring to see these issues being analyzed again. The real danger is when a woman doesnt learn how to think for herself.

[@kaydenevideo]

Thank you so much for touching on the realities of divorce and the financial realities of that. So needed. Such a great video we all needed. Thank you.

[@Valentina_Salas18]

Omg everything is just 😢😮. Such a good video. One of my closest cousins got married and has 3 kids. Wife didn't work. They live in poverty. My cousin got laid of. My mom has a rental apartment and she decided to let them live there rent free for a few years to help them get started again. They literally had no where to sleep with 3 kids and one has down syndrome. Not everyone is ballerina farm but the idea of women just having kids without financial stability is still romanticized in ways that i can't comprehend

[@mchlle94]

Work and career are so unfair for women. You have to do things 10 times as well as a random man and they will probably still get ahead more than you. You will get sexist comments and you'll have to deal with it to get ahead. It's tough to actually get the recognition you deserve as a woman at work, and to feel like it's fulfilling. It has been set up to keep women out of the workplace, and specifically from positions of power.

[@lalittl]

@@mchlle94 this!! I hate that work is seen as a savior when work sucks and is abusive especially in the corporate settings ive been in. Ive had employers that comment on my body and use the n-word. And everyones like “work is awesome” 😂😂

[@MiniM69]

I’m sad this is your experience but we need women out there actually fighting for leadership roles. We’re getting closer to a female president and there are women CEOs on the Fortune 500! Hang in there!

[@randomlyswatching9481]

Doesnt mean you give up.

[@randomlyswatching9481]

Who did that. Men. Who Ask D You SA hm . Men. See the mlm there

[@randomlyswatching9481]

​@@lalittlbut will u get Money without it😮..r u rich born

[@s.georgiak3432]

Did we go backwards now? So I belong to Gen x. It used to be that women in my mum's generation who were homemakers. They were economically dependent on their husbands and couldn't afford to leave if they wanted to. What the hell happened here that made tradwives an aspiration? Did we get stupid again?

[@amazing625]

A combination: things becoming harder for women (work and home life taking a toll with no support), social media alternating our view of what is real and turning us into people who seek perfect imagery, young women having less self esteem, economic divide widening and hyper consumerism

[@nikin4311]

Well ... "trad wifes" we see on social media ARE not dependent on anyone in real life. 😊 they all are indeed girl bosses / successfull influencers who rum their own business online - niche being "trad wifes" bullshit. 😅

[@cosmicpolitan]

I’m also Gen X. It’s heartbreaking to see young women reject or forget all the sacrifices of our foremothers.

[@SigFigNewton]

It’s largely performative anti wokeness. 1)Being against whatever the party you’ve been trained to hate is for… or 2)monetizing the eager-to-click people from #1

[@Mtn603]

My wife and I are a fairly modern couple. She’s super successful in her career, and an amazing mom. I’ve also got a great career, and take on the other half of the parenting duties. It’s not easy, but it has worked well for us, and we have a lot of financial flexibility as a result. Will probably retire early and comfortably, and our kids will be well-traveled. We both spent short times at home with the kids, and both agreed that, although it was a WONDERFUL break, it was not challenging enough, and we missed the financial reward of working. And with the kids in school now, we can’t imagine what the heck we’d do all day if we weren’t working… To the families who can truly get by on one income, great for you. To the families with two incomes, I salute you, it’s a lot to juggle, but worth it at the end of the day. I’ve seen it said in pop culture that women “can’t have it all.” Well if you build a life with a supportive partner, you absolutely can. Salute to all the ladies out there, choose the path that works for you, and get after it!

[@Siures]

Wow, tbh, my husband and me were both alone at home for a short time, too and it was overwhelmingly challenging! No downtime, always hustling and at the same time intellectually underwhelming (toddlers are not known for great conversations). Working again was stress relief just because it was quiet - at least more than ten seconds in a row. Now we actually decided to work part-time both. So everyone has time with the kids and we are still able to live comfortably and save a bit of money. Maybe when the kids are older I take a few more hours but tbh I rather work in the garden or sew clothing.

[@gardenandcalico]

I appreciate you mentioning the economic reality of the "family farm" when talking about Ballerina Farm. I get so tired of people claiming she's "cosplaying poverty" just because she is interested in farming and homesteading. The idea that those are only things for poor people is insidious when in reality in 2024 you NEED a certain level of pre-existing wealth to have those hobbies. Similar to how expensive it is to be a ballerina, tbh.

[@danemlive]

I have to say as a husband and father, that stat of dads/husbands assuming primary responsiblity for less that 10% of household and childcare duties is reprehensible. I had a father who did a lot and so have strived to do the same, but I know I could still do more! And looking at some of my peers it is very believable. Its a sad state of affairs and I am happy its being talked about and called out more. I try to model a different share of domestic duties to my son and continously evaluate the responsbilities my wife does that I take for granted. But seriously come on guys, we have to do better!

[@danemlive]

@@culturalresponse2447 We have a dishwasher, so don't even really need to do that!

[@pearlsb45wine]

Both the housewife & the girlboss are archetypes created, upheld & revered by the patriarchy to make women work for them - not womanity.

[@swaggitypigfig8413]

"Womanity"?

[@muiawat]

Yes , Both propped up by murky , undisclosed finances at the worse and at the lease , generational wealth

[@tennilledebysingh5819]

Talk about religious trauma!! This religion is evil, as with many.....

[@mayormccheese6171]

Archetypes created just as much by women than men.

[@suleiman1520]

lol now the girlboss’ failures are coz of the patriarchy too? Bottomline is it’s NEVER women’s fault because they have no agency whatsoever? Why do you hate women so much?

[@ErutaniaRose]

As a disabled person who’s anti capitalist, I def think girlboss went way too far. Nobody should face sexism at work, but shaming women who can’t do it all or don’t want to isn’t the answer either.

[@amyjay1654]

I'm a sahm because we can't afford childcare.

[@kawaii_tails]

I am a childless cat and dog lady. I loooooooove my four cats and three dogs. It's my choice 😁

[@VujaDeGaming]

Mad respect for Ashley, I can't even imagine being in that situation and pulling through it in the way she did

[@OliverJazzz]

Agreed! She's a very strong person, it must have been extremely hard especially in that kind of community.

[@cbeghin0514]

Bananas that there’s a swing back to trad wives when women’s college attendance and graduation rates exceed those of men, and that holds true across most of the spectrum of both race and income. Women (young women in particular) are better positioned than ever to come up as the primary bread winners at scale, how are we not normalizing the most realistic possible outcomes of these trends??

[@MarshasJourney]

Because though this is true, as highlighted in the video women are expected to be educated, climb the corporate ladder and shoulder the majority of the household and childcare.

[@Shenben2021]

Your content is amazing! I’m so happy I found you. 🎉🎉🎉

[@catherinenye4194]

Whoever put together the stock clips in This video is amazing

[@Bad_Housekeeping]

Thank you Chelsea and Staff!!! When my Grandmother was born, women were chattel. When my Mother was born women could not vote. We are not far from these times at all. Thank you for sounding the alarm about our deteriorating rights!!!! Thank you for sounding the alarm about the propaganda that is trying to lead us backwards. There are parts of the world where women are still chattel and we need to be vigilant to avoid things regressing in the parts of the world where we still have some rights. We don't have equal rights, but at least we have some rights. Let's not lose those rights our foremothers fought so hard to get for us!

[@skylarkkralyks4496]

OMG Franchesca Ramsey is still around! I'm so happy; I saw her super-engaging, educational content all over the place years ago, and I didn't know what had happened.

[@anchimel]

Childless cat lady here! Just stopping by the comments to point out that I would love to have a child, but society does not support the decision to be a single parent. Maybe the people who rail against child free folks should spent some time creating systems to support people who would actually LIKE to have children (cough a universal daycare option, cough guaranteed family leave, cough Celebrating single folks who care for their children instead of criticizing them for not finding a hetero spouse), and show that they care about children in general and not only their own.

[@beautyengineer2198]

why should anybody celebrate single people wanting a baby?

[@anchimel]

​Because stigmatizing single parents, and making that choice financially impossible, is supporting a society where people are coerced into to staying in unhappy, or at worst abusive, relationships.

[@heidiheidi0]

AMEN!!!!!!! Society dosent Even support being a parent single or not! No subsidized childcare. Expensive schooling and healthcare. Very Little Family leave or leave if the kids are sick. The situtation in the U.S. does not support having kids even if you want them very very badly.

[@lalittl]

@@anchimel if you think married, single, all people don’t want that you’re crazy lol. We live in the United States. The reason we don’t have it is because of our government and corporate greed. Which candidate is offering that? Neither? Which company will supplement that let alone pay for your parking lmao NONE. We all want and support that

[@zahrakassam2559]

This was a great video. As an ex muslim, I relate a lot to the light shone on ex mormons, but it feels like the space for ex muslim women (for a lot of the same reasons) is never addressed - not just in this video, but society in general. Not a criticism on TFD's content, just an observation.

[@zahrakassam2559]

Just to add for anyone that is interested. Practicing Muslims will tell you that the sexes are separate but equal.. this translates to: women get half the inheritance of men, women cannot travel without a male guardian, women's testimony is worth half a man's, a man's "dress code" is naval to knees, while women is everything besides face, hands, and feet (schools of thought differ), angels "curse" women that decline their husband's sexual needs, women *can* pursue an education and work, *however* if a woman's father or husband doesn't want her to work, she must obey, since her place first and foremost is in the home, men are told to have "protective jealousy" of "their" women and not allow "free mixing" or to wear anything revealing, unrelated men and women *cannot* touch - even a handshake or pat on the back because it may spur lust - it's literally a sin. This is framed as a good thing - men are the "protectors" so are owed this obedience for their sacrifice. There's honestly so much more. My family is still practicing muslim and most "progressive" Muslims may bend these rules but these are the doctrine prescribed and many still strictly adhere to this. Just like all other sub groups, I think Islam should be able to be viewed through the lens of the impacts of not only those who practice - but those that choose to leave. Criticism of Islam should not be viewed as islamophobic because if we can't question idealogies (like we do mormonism), where does that leave us? This is absolutely not an advocacy for violence, but real discussion. Many people that I know and love are muslim and good people, but that does not make the idealogy any less patriarchal.. and if they truly followed the scripture, they would cut me out since I'm the worst form of sinner - a woman that left the fold (some have). Regardless, growing up in a culture that emphasized women's obedience to men and covering women's body to prevent sin and how a woman's true and natural place is the home, not to mention the sin associated with acting on being lgbtq+, should be discussed, regardless of what name that belief system goes by.

[@alexandrac591]

the YT channel Cults to Consciousness is starting to get into this topic. It's run by an ex-mormon but she has had some ex-muslim guests on recently.

[@zahrakassam2559]

@@alexandrac591 that's great to know. Thanks!

[@bakeliteperformance]

In response to around the 19:20 mark... As a middle age man I completely agree that men should be doing more around the house. Some of the social hurdles I've experienced in my life include: With housework, I've been in a few relationships in my life now where I wanted to help, but my partner resisted me doing the work because it was not being done to her specifications or approach. There is nothing new about this dynamic, I saw it get played out with adults when I was a child and it has been repeated endlessly in various media, much even before I was born. A man shows interest in helping out and then gets critiqued into "learned helplessness" by his partner. I don't want to say that this explains the vast majority of the scant lack of participation by male partners, but even for a guy who wants to pitch in, the friction can come from their partner. The second part, involving hardly any men involved in the social organizing of their children. This is definitely a social problem. There very, very much is a silent and unspoken expectation that women should be mediating all of this because women are "inherently" safe and men are potentially predators. Being the father of two daughters, and thus almost all of their friends are girls, to have me reach out to another family to see if their daughter wanted to spend the night at our house for a sleepover would be... well, it just isn't done. The contact is supposed to be from the mother, not the father, to give the implied sense of safety that the woman will be overseeing the whole event. And the social pressures come from within and without. If my daughter is asking for us to host a sleepover I want her to be able to have that opportunity. If I do the reaching out then there is the risk of it not working because the other family is weirded out by me offering it. Meanwhile internally, I'm reluctant to ever be put into a position where anyone would ever contemplate me as a risk of being a predator. It's an emotional minefield!

[@snoopstheboss994]

Your approach of "helping out" already has the mindset just to do what you want to help with and not what needs to be done. You are not "helping out" cleaning your own shit....

[@Siures]

@StarryWaters-gq1ojI also see the dynamics you describe. But I also see women not trying to work out a division that works. If you separate complete fields of chores the schedule issue doesn’t come up. You have not only to give away the tasks but also the responsibility of the outcome. If the partner is responsible for laundry he has to come up with a solution if the kid doesn’t have clothes to change into any more. If one partner is responsible to get a gift he or she has to apologize / make a gift card if he or she didn’t get one. Of course, you can ask for help. I am responsible for laundry but when I have to work at the weekend my husband will take over. He is responsible for cleaning the bathroom and afterwards bathing the kids but of course I will do it when he’s ill. But in general we divide the tasks in a way we bot can finish our schedules independently. An area we’re still searching a solution is the kitchen though. As he cooks 3 times a week, I four times (but almost every week one meal for two days, so it’s even) somehow nobody feels responsible to clean. So yes, I see the reasons why women sometimes don’t let their partners take over but some also don’t want to search for solutions. Men won’t get quicker in cleaning if they never practice.

[@Siures]

@StarryWaters-gq1oj it’s not about „asking“ it’s about communication. And yes, of course all kids need to learn basic household chores, but you still have to figure it who prefers which task. Then the husband is not „helping“ anymore and doing what the wife tells him to do but simply doing his part. If you lack those skills it’s your responsibility to learn! It’s time consuming to really divide responsibilities but it’s worth it. I see too many women really BELIEVING (because of their socialization) that women are biologically better with kids and household. We have to overcome these gender stereotypes for the benefit of every partnership.

[@Siures]

@StarryWaters-gq1oj As someone who needs a lot of communication herself in social behavior I disagree. I am a fan of clear words. It happens to me quite often that someone expects some kind of behavior and I have no clue. Then they ask me why I didn’t step in for XY. Not everyone works the same way. My husband and me, we have made that clear communication and we both need this at work, too. I have to admit we’re both neurodivergent (ADD on his side, AuDHD on mine). Therefore I put a lot of effort into teaching my kids a good communication and basic life (household) skills, so they maybe won’t struggle with these things. Just to remind you that every person has different needs. Of course, if I had a partner who simply doesn’t WANT doing his part, it would be different.

[@gocanadayayyy]

@StarryWaters-gq1oj You are so spot on with your comments. thank you. I feel in general men tend not to be very conscientious of how their work may affect others. You would not, as you say in your example, leave the lawn 3/4 mowed with the mower in the driveway because you'd think "oh, it would be so frustrating to look at this and see that it's not done and things aren't put away." Likewise if a man does dishes in an effort to contribute more, but they aren't done fast enough to meal prep adequately, or there is still bits of food left on them, he clearly isn't thinking "oh, she'll need to cook with this later and won't want crud on it" or "if my wife is going to make dinner later, she'll need that pot cleaned, so I better get that done now so it's dry and ready when she needs to use it." Also, as I just wasn't taught how to do lots of "man" chores growing up, I'm conscientious enough that before I offer to take on a task, I'll be sure to either ask someone to show me or clarify what I don't understand. Then if I get feedback that I didn't quite do it right, I won't be "critiqued out" of the task... because I'm an adult who is capable of receiving feedback. Does this original commenter not trust that that feedback was coming from somewhere genuine and not just "women are too picky and thus it's their fault they don't get any help." Or maybe they understand how the task needs to ACTUALLY be done and have normal standards you are failing to meet. Are you going to be wounded about that or grow up and do better? Responding further to the original comment here- men also created that image of themselves as predators by... being predators. They have no interest in holding other men accountable most of the time, nor in changing how things are prosecuted and perceived such that this is less likely to happen. That social hurdle was entirely created by men and men remain responsible for its continued existence. Since the commenter recognizes that him organizing the sleepover would be creepy, maybe he could compromise: his wife organizes, and he does the work of buying snacks, booking activities, or setting up the house to facilitate it. Acting as if there is nothing he can do shows that he is not conscientious enough to try and anticipate the needs of others and identify where he could be of most help. No one is asking individual men to do all the work of changing social norms, just to participate in the work involved in family life.

[@carpediem44]

Francesca on motherhood: 💯

[@2009Holleywood]

I'm a empty nester with young adult children so do I lose my rights? Lol And I was a dreaded Single mother until the last two years of raising my daughter. All of this is ridiculous

[@Kryxtal]

Franchesca was such a great guest speaker

[@Hayakoneko]

The job market is so shit, soon I'll be lowkey forced to become a stay at home wife because I'm painfully average and unable to find a job that would be worth spending 40+ h every week at.

[@lalittl]

@@Hayakoneko ooo i love this comment because this is another thing we don’t talk about. I think it’s like only 18% of jobs pay six figures. So the majority of Americans aren’t even making that much money. In my state, GA, the average household income is like 65k(and household income includes every member of the house over 15 bringing in money). So 65k is super low. Part of why so many people are ok with staying at home is corporate greed. You’re giving hours of your life away and away from your family, most of us doing work we do not enjoy, all in exchange for pennies. The emphasis people put on “work” is hilarious when you break down how little the average salary even is

[@LonkinPork]

everytime I see a stay-at-home mom/wife I just wonder what kind of soul-destroying career their husband has. only a few things pay well enough to cover that lifestyle, and fewer still are morally Good by any reasonable metric 🕵🏼

[@thenopedetective]

My partner has a couple job where we could have lived on one income. Spoiler alert: he burned out fast from all the immoral stuff.

[@lalittl]

@@LonkinPork most people, whether they both work or not are doing work they don’t enjoy lmao. You make it sound like doing poorly paid labor is less soul sucking. Like working at the grocery store or walmart is super fulfilling because it can’t support two people. These are the kind of comments I do not understand. Is janitorial work not soul sucking because it doesn’t pay well? Daycare work? Social work? Being an exterminator 😂😂 these are all fulfilling as opposed to soul sucking? So my husband makes more than enough for us to all live on and he does cybersecurity. I can assure you that’s not more soul sucking than anything that pays less that i just listed. He’s super passionate about IT and loves his job. Life and work responsibilities get easier as you climb the ladder not harder. Back when i was an admin i was doing more work than i am now as a commercial property manager. And i was also receiving far less respect.

[@LonkinPork]

OK

[@amyjay1654]

I'm a sahm and we're just poor 😂😂

[@ElizabethChronis]

My husband sold a startup that did business analytic software, worked at the company that bought his, and has worked as a CTO at another startup. I was a software consultant before becoming a SAHM. We both spent way less than what we made before kids, so we have great savings & don’t spend much. My longest friend has been a SAHM for nearly a decade & her husband loves his job the vast majority of the time. Now that her kids are all in school, she’s picking up more work, but they lived very comfortably on his great job. A few of my SAHM friend’s husbands are software developers - mostly at large companies with flexible schedules & great pay. Sometimes being a stay at home parent means that you’re struggling with one income, but sometimes it’s really just that you worked your ass off before kids and it worked out.

[@GeeEee75]

Nara Smith = Marie Antoinette playing at being a shepherdess.

[@lillianasiala9333]

This is how I see all the tradwife content. I literally just think about Marie Antoinette’s little country farm set up where she played pretend homestead while everything was managed professionally by everybody else. The rich have always romanticized the pastoral 😂

[@LeticiaAGentil]

​@lillianasiala9333 I must confess: if I had the money to keep a small farm for my children to play with the animals and learn about them, I definitely would, too!

[@cosmicpolitan]

I thought exactly the same thing!!!!!

[@lalittl]

@@GeeEee75 nara is marie antoinette and ballerina farm is an oppressed vicitm. Yall always find a way 😉 even in the context of feminism you always find a way to

[@miaomiaou_]

Good lord 🙄 Nara Smith is not descended from royalty. Unlike *LITERAL BILLIONAIRE* Ballerina farm, she’s a 22 year old model, trying to make the patriarchy work for her. How can we agree that her life is ideal and then hate her for living that life? I’m rooting for her the way y’all are wishing for her downfall

[@storebrandryan]

That ex-mormon woman has such a powerful story. Made me happy to hear that she's slowly on her better path to a happier life for her and her kiddos ❤️

[@jenniferlancaster7040]

WOW my dad helped me with my homework, cooked, and grocery shopped.

[@magda4057]

I admire so much the mother of two, former tradwife showed on the video. This is what should be shown to young people. The real life, real problems.

[@georgiatucker1861]

Thank you for this brilliant take on this issue. In the '70s we called this "displaced homemakers" and the second wave feminists held a number of programs on the problem. My mom was one them, painful way to grow up.

[@auntiemame7076]

Impactful video! As usual, you go beneath the surface and get to the heart of the matter - these people all have agendas. Don’t fall for their BS.

[@KaritKtana]

If "having it all" actually means DOING IT ALL - you're going to have problems

[@Ryogirl18]

I remember my grandmother said that stay at home wives were only white women whoml had a husband with high bank accounts. The rest of us had to work in the lowest paying jobs. Stay at home wives could never be a goal.

[@lalittl]

@@Ryogirl18 my tubes would tie themselves hearing that 😂

[@jdrewsdraws]

great video! Super well done! I grew up in a conservative small town, than moved to a big city and have interacted with a lot of different women. Women are all unique and different, many people I know are stay at home moms and many other women are fully focused on their careers but the majority of women are just living life and are a girl boss trad wife mix. A lifestyle choice is not a trend. Just do what is right for you (and or your family) and who cares what someone else says.

[@skylarkkralyks4496]

WHEN would a successful working mother have any time to cheat on her spouse?!?!

[@happylife7542]

Does anyone really think the whole Tridwife phenomenon is actually real. Damn that is sad. Happy to be a full time working mom with 2 young boys.

[@1bluegreen2]

You must be exhausted. Why don't you see having 2 kids is a job... while they're young anyway

[@adorabell4253]

@@1bluegreen2working with two kids is waaaay easier than being a sahm. A) you get a break from the kids. L’histoire being around adults doing adult stuff is amazingly restorative. B) Because you have your own income you can do stuff and not feel guilty for it.

[@namenamenamename7224]

I just want to know where these trad husbands are getting these jobs that let them afford to live off a single income. Some of us are riding the struggle bus on two incomes!

[@fabsmaster5309]

Lots of jobs can provide this: Management Consultants, Private Equity Associates, Corporate Lawyers, CPAs, Petroleum Engineers, Electrical Contractors, Elevator Mechanics etc. Generally you need your own business, an expensive education, many years of experience, and/or membership in a union that isn’t the teachers union.

[@austinduke8876]

The real secret sauce isn't the job; it's the location. Having a stay at home spouse is much much harder in San Francisco than St. Louis.

[@kalliopikolfer]

This is for Ashley: as a child of a woman like you (grew up with nothing but my mom and sister), mom studied like you etc. I just want to say thank you. Being older now I understand how difficult it must have been. Looking back now those were one of the best days of my life (despite the lack of stuff and money) because my mother loves us and she was empowered and the best role model. You are doing GREAT!

[@cindymora6714]

I want to send a hug and good energy to Ashley, I know God loves you and it's going to help you

[@ashleyworthen3506]

Love and positive energy felt! Thank you!

[@Dogmom963]

I was born and raised in Salt Lake City, Utah. I knew I didn't want kids from the age of 8, but everyone, women, men, my parents; told me I'd change my mind. I had all but given in to the idea my career and education wouldn't happen because I had to have kids. I escaped Utah in 2008, met my childfree by choice flaming liberal husband, graduated college, started my own business and enjoy being a dog mom. Trad wife life is very much a forced thing in Utah and LDS lifestyle. It's creepy!

[@cranetoks3448]

How can most women afford to be 'Trad Wives?' Even if their husbands are working, most jobs do not pay to help two or more people thrive (let alone survive) anymore...

[@tamirisvenancio6376]

The question is “who will pay for those parents choosing to stay at home to take care of the family?”

[@BewareTheLilyOfTheValley]

I'm between paychecks and couldn't renew my Premium this month. I thought the intro was an ad and kept desperately looking for a Skip button as I dislike pretty much anything related to any other social media other than KZbin, lol. All to find that, no, that's the actual intro of the video. Nice editing!

[@maraj100]

"the ultimate MLM"...exactly.

[@CyndiCaviedes]

I wish you could make a video on how to make this work: like get your husband to sign a pre nup, get your husband to wire you money every month for your labour, talk with your husband about money and also talking about how you always depend on someone, your husband, your boss, your clients, choose your hard. This video is giving me the idea that the only good way to live as a woman is single and without kids.

[@OliverJazzz]

I didn't get that impression at all - I mean in most marriages both work outside home, and that model wasn't criticised at all here. (Obviously you need some parental leave when children are born, but after a year or so it's back to work for most.) Here in Northern Europe this isn't even discussed, men and women work equally. There's a lot of discussion about equal sharing of domestic labour though, unfortunately women are still doing more at home, even when working similar hours.

[@CyndiCaviedes]

@@OliverJazzz I used to live in Germany and many women stop working for other people for a couple of years or at least work less. Where do you live? I don’t think we support and value enough mother that work at home. It’s a very important job, I would say one of the most important.

[@anastasiia2092]

Sorry, I just feel like I have to add - Jacinda Arden wasn't NZ first female prime minister, Helen Clark was PM from 1999 to 2008. There were always women in NZ government since we've got right to vote pretty much and it wasn't something unusual. Jacinda's PR team made it sound like her terms were all about feminism because of what was happening in other countries, but women in power is actually not a "wow" down under.

[@MarshasJourney]

France’s was preaching when she said how dare a brown woman have an idealistic life

[@BM-cz5uz]

For ne, corporate life definitely sucked. But the work, sense of achievement and financial independence certainly hasn't!

[@lalittl]

@@BM-cz5uz same, corporate work is the closest to hell ive ever felt.

[@ecrawl4902]

I'm so thankful the women in my life growing up, most of whom were married and had children, advised me to always have my own income and be able to maintain my independence. I took that advice to heart and made sure that no matter what relationship I got into, I had every option at my disposable to get out if needed. Need to move out and sign my own lease? Done. I've seen too many friends and family members have to start from the bottom after leaving their partners because they had no say in the finances... which is absolutely terrifying to me.

[@SadGirlsRUs]

I’ve been DYING for you guys to make this a video 😂 I’m so sick of this trad wife crap being glamorized

[@Sarah-re7cg]

Thank you for noting the difference between childfree and childless. I’m childfree 😎 and I find it totally effed up to ridicule childless women (women who wanted children but for any reason that isn’t our business, couldn’t have them). So unbelievably cruel.

[@reformed1trick739]

I think it's a tragedy that 2 incomes are required to survive in 2024. I think a lot of women would prefer to stay home if their partner made enough money for them to be comfortable. I don't really see anything wrong with a division of labor within a home.

[@shermaynebrown5165]

But the majority of the men aren’t doing their part, so most married women are frustrated & exhausted.

[@lalittl]

@@reformed1trick739 this is the part we aren’t saying. Most of us male or female would prefer to have more time with a newborn baby than 3-6 weeks. Corporate greed is making it impossible for families to give as much time to our kids as we’d like. But instead we support the narrative that both parents should be working all the time to be progressive. As opposed to the notion that actually, life is way to expensive and we don’t get enough time at home to invest in our families

[@reformed1trick739]

@shermaynebrown5165 I'm not interested in an argument of pointing the finger at the other gender. Personally I do all the cooking in the house while both my wife and I work. Using generic stats to say all men bad is just reductive and not helpful.

[@a.c.2856]

I love your content, thank you for discussing such an important topic. My dad passed when I was very young and I watched my former stay at home mom STRUGGLE working two jobs just to support us kids. She didn’t have to tell me not to depend on a man, I got to see it firsthand. Now that I’m married with a kid of my own- I will never give up my career.