Life as a Black lolita: Kawaii Melanin Collab

[@JasmineSheaTownsend]

Man, that "black people don't do that" has haunted me for the past 16 years. You're right. It IS stunting. And I LOVE your point about neon/pastel colors against dark skin/backgrounds. And the showcase of natural hair examples was awesome ^_^

[@TheFlufferDome]

Thank you!!!

[@eller.6322]

So annoying, I hate that phrase. Its annoying when non black people say it but its like nails on a chalk board when my family says it, like, why are you limiting who you could be? Why are you stereotyping yourself?

[@sissysovereign1294]

This has haunted me ever since I was a teenager. From everyone, even my own mother who was embarrassed by my "non black" personality, would scream that phrase at me all the time. She's stopped since I moved out, but it still traumatized me.

[@mirandamunoz1356]

I agree! Natural black hair is perfect for Lolita!

[@Kimbuucha]

You ain't lying about the "black people don't do that" comment. That's why I never got into lolita in college because of where I went to school. Also you make me wanna start doing twist outs with my coords. I loved your video. Thank you so much for sharing. I hope I get to meet you in person someday when Rona is done jeapordizing everyones' life

[@TheFlufferDome]

Right smh it's terrible how we unconsciously hold each other back like that. But yes do it!! Idk how I forgot to talk about the fact that I purposely wore my natural hair with my first coord specifically for the reason that it's under represented. Yes me too!! I can't wait to get togeather with everyone!!!

[@princesstiaa9987]

yes thats my go-to natural hairstyle with lolita!

[@luluvanhoagland5348]

Just wanted to say that lipstick shade is AMAZING on you

[@TheFlufferDome]

Thank you I kept mixing shades until I got the right one lol

[@luluvanhoagland5348]

The FlufferDome it’s perfect!

[@CupcakeKamisama]

Thank you for sharing your experiences. The whole concept of "black people don't do that", even though you say is perpetuated within the black community, just sounds like such an inherently white people thing to say. Especially since white people love the "you can be anything you want" narrative so much before they put a neatly stereotyped label on anyone and everyone. Hopefully with people like yourself, who are raising the next generation without those distinctions on what some people can and can't do within the realm of self-expression and pursuing passions, we can move beyond that. Not just with regards to lolita fashion, but any kind of self-expression, arts, interests, careers etc.

[@marissaponce213]

not a lolita but I love supporting the community, you look beautiful!

[@TheFlufferDome]

Thank you for your support!!

[@Waterliliy1616]

because of these collab videos its got me thinking about a conversation i had with my classmates in high school.we where talking about our life at home, i told them i haven't seen my dad since middle school and that i didn't care to see him if i had a chance. one said "wow, your more black than us." and just for context i'm a white girl, and the high school i went to was prominently african american. I hate that in the black community you are "more black" if you have a messed up home life, it shouldn't be that way.

[@TheFlufferDome]

Wow. I'm sorry that happened to you. While it's known that kids can be insensitive (especially in high school) that does not excuse statements like these. I haven"t heard anything like this though. I do not know their intentions and cannot speak for them but I would like to say maybe it was an insensitive joke or maybe a local thing but I do not know this to be a typical thought in the community. There's never a reason to make fun of someones situation either.

[@Waterliliy1616]

@@TheFlufferDome the conversation was more of a serious talk the four of us were having comparing our messed up home lives and sense we weren't in each others friend circle we could talk more freely about what was wrong then if we were . they had already talked about their problems and they had said that in shock after hearing what i said about my dad. i think they thought i had a perfect home life.i just feel sad that they even had this thought that nothing bad could have happened to me or that bad always happens to them. but we did end up talking about how messed up the cliche was.

[@SparklyGutz]

Okay you aint have to snap like THAT! This coooooord, yes Black old school lolitas!

[@TheFlufferDome]

🤗🤗🤗

[@Marinakei]

Aww I love your mom and your laugh always make me laugh XD! "Black ppl don't do that" "why you acting different" mindset is SO detrimental! The point about skin tone and neon/pastel colors was brilliant. I'm so looking forward to the Amino groups and the hair video!!

[@OkamiRose]

I love all the different styles shown nearing the end!!

[@stepahead5944]

The message about doing our hair however we want it's beautiful. We're always being told "no". Black girls don't do this or that. And our hair can be such a sensitive topic even in our community. Wigs or no wigs, you are right- our hair naturally accentuates the aesthetics!

[@GothicKitty1313]

Soooo much agreement on the pastel colours on dark skin, the contrast and pop is gorgeous! Also your coord is stunning! It's such a lovely old-school coord, and the rectangle headpiece with natural hair looks so good~! 💛 thank you for talking about your experiences :)

[@mmortalworm]

agree on why do people think only certain skin colors can wear certain colors. as long as the person wearing it likes that color what "fashion sin" are they committing ? i love your thoughts on that (i also relate about the not saying hi if i dont know you, if chicago we dont say hi to people like that n when i visited texas it was a lot to take in haha) thank you for sharing your thoughts and stories❣

[@ToshiSalvino]

absolutely loved your thoughts on the "black people don't do that" concept...I feel like that "keep to your immediate community" mindset has some really deep roots.. . that you're tearin up ;D !! W< also i LOL'd at the the about not taking to people cuz u dont know em...im also from around philly. can agree. hahahaha

[@magicalgirlme]

Love this video! Thank you SO much for mentioning the cultural piece to this that other people may not experience. There is definitely an unspoken understanding that we are a constant representation of our race just be existing! I really loved your bonus question about how to style natural hair with lolita and I can't wait to see your video about it! Also mega respect to you and other moms who wear lolita fashion ♡

[@TheFlufferDome]

Yes exactly, years if conditioning has led to us reinforcing the systemic conditioning forces on us is years past and it's past time to end these destructive stereotypes within our own community and with that I believe will help break them outside of our communities.

[@TheFlufferDome]

Also thanks 🤗🤗🤗

[@ladyliddell]

Omgeeee my little girl is in to this fashion style! I'm so happy to find you all! I really want her to have positive black women that embody her aesthetic. Thank you so much!

[@TheFlufferDome]

Awww. Thank you!!! I'm glad you are supportive as well. A lot of parents aren't! I'm glad you found me!

[@MzPirateQueen]

I wear mostly braids or locs with my coords. I have a natural mohawk right now and it can be hit or miss when working with it.

[@TheFlufferDome]

Yeah I wear alot of protective styles with my coords too. But that mohawk may just work out with a cool punk coord 😉! I would love to see it.

[@oddlyozel]

I feel you, I just moved to the Atlanta area and I'm from Florida and it's so strange how people say hi. 👀 I avoid eye contact like the plague.

[@TheFlufferDome]

Yup cause if you catch eyes you gotta say hi! 🤣🤣

[@oddlyozel]

@@TheFlufferDome honestly this going to sound odd af but I'm Hispanic and sometimes cashier's are less nice to me or don't smile at me like they do for the white person before me, and I like am oddly okay with it because I truly feel uneasy with strangers being nice. Makes me suspicious.

[@TheFlufferDome]

@@oddlyozel yeah I get that and it sucks that people are like that. Hopefully thing will truly change this time.

[@jessicanewberry4806]

idk why we have the mindset "black ppl don't do that" when the reality is we literally do everything

[@starryluna5688]

Omg, kinda random and irrelevant, but when you mentioned being from Philly and how we don't talk to randoms on the street like people here in the south do, I felt that so hard. 😂 I'm originally from Philly too and currently living in Florida (actually moving back home soon though). Great video and very glad I found your channel. 💜

[@starryluna5688]

Also can relate to the bit about not "acting xyz" as I am Puerto Rican and I got that shit a lot too from my family both for being goth and being a lolita/ouji. It's ridiculously rude and frustrating.

[@daianmoi8528]

I am just discovering lolita communities, and I have got to say I love your hair.

[@prolymoly7137]

I tried Lolita but it didn’t feel right on me, so instead I just dress with more simple but cute clothing. I commend you for being yourself and finding something you enjoy!

[@Sleipnirseight]

Great video, thank you! With what colors look good with different skin tones, I've always been a lil envious how some of my darker skin friends look SO good in vibrant and neon colors, whereas those totally wash me out 😅😂

[@TheFlufferDome]

Yes I feel you on that. I personally don't care for neons on myself but I see so many others even others with my similar complexion wear neons and they look beautiful on them!!!!

[@Lusty0Majo]

Your hairstyle is so perfect for old school lolita aesthetic ❤

[@pearls-for-cats2709]

Totally agree on how nice sweet looks on darker skin tones as it literally looks amazing, personly I think people who sport the whole "sweet lolita only for lighter people" mindset seem salty about it (amongst other things..)

[@laurajohnson1342]

You just spoke my truth and saw a wound I have been carrying around for 34 years. And your hair is AMAZING!!!! Its nice to know that our hair can work well in some area of life.

[@TheFlufferDome]

Our hair works in all areas of life!!!!!!

[@racheljohnson7606]

I love the style you have on! its so cute :) great topic!

[@TheFlufferDome]

Thank you!! 😊

[@Wooddweller]

I love your hair ! This take on being African American and in Alternative spaces is awesome !

[@luzp.3791]

Your cutsew is so heckin' pretty!! May I know where it's from? Also, I love your coords!!

[@TheFlufferDome]

Hey!! Thank you so much. This cutsew is old h.nato frill, I don't know the name though. Good luck tracking it down!

[@ctgraphy]

Thank you for sharing this! I really appreciated your thoughts on natural hair vs wigs - It was something I was wondering about when it comes to Lolita! (I do not dress in this fashion, so am happy to learn. :) )

[@cherylwilson5349]

I love your hair in this coord! I suck at styling my natural hair, I just chop it off lol. I was thinking about get fro wigs and puff wigs for some different looks. Thanks for touching on the subject.

[@Jessinking]

your deco hair is glorious and i wonder how long it took to get that out without pulling out hair. haha

[@TheFlufferDome]

I assure you no hairs were lost in removal and it took way less time to get them out then it took to put them in lol

[@allisondutch7393]

You’re so freaking gorgeous!

[@CYRINTHIA212]

you look beautiful

[@jenmichel3462]

I’m hopping around to each of your channels to give you views and support ❤️

[@Jess-wf1xo]

Ahh you look so stunning!!

[@mzpeanut81]

Is it okay to add your personal style to lolita

[@TheFlufferDome]

Yeah of course, that's a part of the creativerivity of planning a coordinate, just as long as the personal additions don't take away from the base lolita silhouette or make it unrecognizable as lolita.

[@misterkiller89]

Yesss

[@warriorprincessharmony]

Anything not stereotypical. The problem is that Black American culture has been turned into "All black people culture" and unfortunately Pop black American culture alienates Black people from the rest of the entire world. Other people are allowed to celebrate and enjoy other cultures but Black people can't share their culture and can't share in other people's culture. And yet,... it's not even all Black people, it's just Black American culture that can't be appropriated. But they can appropriate African cultures... It's so convoluted and negatively so.

[@swarrecordsncm3705]

Big like 👌😊 awesome video 👌

[@doccrowley3367]

that dress youre wearing is really cute can you tell us the name please

[@TheFlufferDome]

Hello. This is actually 2 pieces I'm wearing a dress under a shirt. The dress is Bodyline and the shirt is h.nato Frill.

[@Jessinking]

omg i haven't seen you in awhile. :)

[@vrautomotive]

😍😍😍😍

[@totallyhaikyuuaddict3564]

6k 6months 666 likes Should I destroy the like ? Yeah I did

[@TheFlufferDome]

🤣