Life With Persistent Depressive Disorder (aka Dysthymia)

[@MarcusRideout]

Do you have Persistent Depressive Disorder? Or maybe you stumbled upon this video because you are wondering if you have depression. In my opinion the best way to shine a light on topics related to mental health is to start a healthy conversation, so share your story and experience below. Also, if you have dysthymia, how long have you known you've had it, and what's life been like for you on the other side of receiving a diagnosis?

[@amylaaoula]

I have PDD with MDD… I’ve been in treatment for around 20 years but still no solution for insomnia for me! Even the pills stopped working. Other than that, I do my best every day and that’s all any of us can do. Good luck and may the force be with :D

[@MarcusRideout]

@@amylaaoula ​ Hey thanks Amy! Thanks for sharing - sorry to hear that's been what's happening in your world. Other than that, I appreciate the positive vibes that came from reading this message. :D

[@amylaaoula]

Marcus Rideout Thank YOU for sharing with us! Something that works a bit for me is my allergy medication (anti-histamine); it curbs the edge when I stop my strong anxiety medication to move to some lighter one. Good luck and may all our forced smiles become real ones. Hey, my doctor told me that in some cases, people can actually heal and kick PDD out of their lives! He told me I’m not one of the chosen ones but some of you can make it (and writing this, I have a big real smile on my face). There is hope :D

[@kanishka9098]

Just got diagnosed today I don't know what my feelings are or maybe I don't want to deal with it at the moment

[@MarcusRideout]

@@kanishka9098 hey that's totally okay to feel that way, it's part of processing the news. Take it one day at a time. You've got this!

[@minimalistlifestyle5497]

The problem with dysthymia is that when you have it for so long it becomes ingrained in your character. I guess it has a lot to do with upbringing and learned coping mechanisms. The feeling that everything is vain is the worst. Also I haven’t seen much improvement with antidepressants except for irritability.

[@MarcusRideout]

I 100% hear you on it feels ingrained into your character/world view! I didnt really know how drastic it was until being on the other side of antidepressants working for me. Sorry to hear your experience with antidepressants hasn't led to making any progress. Have you tried working with your doctor on different meds? Have heard that is required for some folks. Took 58 days for it to become noticable for me

[@IdiotPosterBoy]

@@MarcusRideout happy to hear they work for some, gives me somr hope. On my 9th depression medication trial, ranging from 3 months to 2 years, no luck so far 😶. Fortunately I don't seem to get bad dude effects either, a silver lining I guess 😁

[@KrazyLady-NoCats]

x2 ....😒😞😞

[@MarcusRideout]

@@IdiotPosterBoy I’m so sorry to hear that! That’s gotta be really annoying and frustrating.

[@SGowland]

Wow, this reply!! I relate so strongly, thank you 🙏

[@smarre12]

The main thing with PDD for me is that I generally feel less happiness and excitement over good, positive things. I get happy when I recieve gifts, but my reaction to it doesn't necessarily match how much I actually appreciate it. It's like I don't feel happiness at the same intensity as someone who doesn't have PDD. And it can be quite frustrating from time to time. Less interest and excitement for my favorite hobbies is also a big thing I struggle with. I have a really hard time to find motivation for pretty much anything. And that's really just the tip of the iceberg.

[@MarcusRideout]

I 100% hear you on this. I've often been told I need to "cheer up" or look more happy, cause it often looks like I'm upset or down. It's quite frustrating when it's just how you are, and that's 'normal' for you.

[@kvr6869]

One of the trickiest mental illnesses to detect I think. It feels so integral to your whole personality that you often just can’t imagine life being different.

[@MarcusRideout]

Yea, there have been too many times where, prior to diagnosis, I have had the thought "Other people can't experience life in this way regularly or the world would be way too intense"

[@kvr6869]

@@MarcusRideout and that’s exactly why everyone needs to get lots of information regarding what these disorders are like and when to seek help 🙌🏻

[@MarcusRideout]

@@kvr6869 indeed!

[@filmach7501]

В точку. У меня с детства безразличие к людям, частая апатия, незаинтересованность, бессмысленность. Я не знаю что такое нормальное состояние, мне не с чем сравнить. Как можно представить то, что никогда не чувствовал

[@brycek2033]

I definitely struggle with constant dread, hopelessness, and have to push myself to do fun things because it all seems so pointless. It's ten times easier for me to do the dishes, laundry, or chores than it is for me to do something for "fun".

[@RhythmAddictedState]

I relate to this so much...

[@Fillasophical]

You do dishes and laundry? Must be nice

[@Kattykat63]

I'm almost 60 yrs old. I've had depression all of my life. I've reached out as much as my insurance's would let me including years of cognitive therapy and several types of antidepressants. I'm still in the same place but feeling much worse and hopelessness because I realize that I've pretty much spent my whole life feeling liked I've been robbed of happiness. If only I could have a few years of knowing what it feels not just to be happy but to feel NOT DEPRESSED, I would be forever grateful. This condition ( I won't dare call it a disease with such stigma in this world referring to as a disease) has messed up so many relationship's in my life I find it easier to just keep to myself .So there are actually people who want help, do the work with therapists, medication and alot of prayer but somehow never get the help they need do to insurance, financial difficulties or just not being able to because they have to work and are dependent on themselves. Needless to say at my age I'm simply exhausted after years of this monster living on my shoulder ( like the Mucinex man) who won't leave me alone. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. It's a life sentence in a rabbit hole.

[@DanielaPrestele]

Dear Patty, I am 45 but still: I so feel you! I do wish to you from the bottom of my heart that you will feel better though! Keep up fighting.

[@MarcusRideout]

I'm so sorry to hear this has been your experience, Patty. It's terrible. 😪

[@aicerg]

I am 29, and out of all the comments, yours felt like I wrote it myself. I remember feeling this way since I was a child, it just exhausting at this point; not worth another try. Keeping to myself and putting on the happy suit is what it feels like every day.

[@Kattykat63]

I've been researching the psylocibin microdosing. It looks very promising as long as you do the microdosing correctly, too much or too little obviously doesn't work. When you can't get help from licensed doctor and life is flying by you sometimes you have to be your own advocate and go with the successful treatment even if at the time it is illegal to obtain the very drug that "is" working. You can't overdose on it. You don't have to buy it on the street. Even if I'm wrong about it and I can still function safely and feel mentally better, to me it's worth it. 🙏

[@Huntington12345678]

I'm 46, and I'm coming to the realization that my dysthymia is a lifelong, uphill battle, in two feet of soul crushing mud. Am I depressed because I'm rejected by society, or am I rejected by society, because nobody wants to be around someone who's depressed? Since there's no clear answer, I'm left frustrated, crying and alone, searching for anyone to latch onto. Searching for anything to latch onto. Fuck it.

[@FroztiProductions]

The photoshop analogy is awesome. People think of depression as sadness, which is an emotion. But depression is more than just emotion, it's like the atmosphere is stale and dead no matter where you are or what you're doing.

[@MarcusRideout]

100% - it’s not just “oh you are just feeling down”. A lot of my life experience has felt dread-focused. I’ve never been one to struggle with suicidal thoughts though death was something that was often on my mind. Medication has really helped level me out - I still have noticeable down phases however it feels a lot more manageable, and I feel like I can feel the positives a lot more now too.

[@alexjimz615]

I was just recently diagnosed with PDD, and the way my therapist said it made it look even more horrible than what it already is. She said that "thats how my personality is" and that I would feel like this or worse for the rest of my life. But I like that in your video you mention "the light", and its so reassuring to listen to someone that feels exactly how you feel. Thanks for making this video, you make others like us feel less alone.

[@MarcusRideout]

Alex, I’m sorry your therapist framed it up that way for you. It’s something that, although yes it doesn’t “get cured”, it is something you can learn to navigate. Being on antidepressants has made a world of difference for me. Also the more self-aware you become, the better you will be able to manage it when you feel it coming on. Check this video I made as it may give you some things you can work on to deal with this. kzbin.info/www/bejne/qX7TmqSneql2hZo

[@euluiza]

Uau, this happened with me too, the doutor said it was my personality. Marcus, your video is amazing, because I was able ti remove the guilty I had about "not doing the right things" like have no blue light at night. Thank you so much!

[@creatorsunionSVERDLOVSK]

@@MarcusRideout For me real hell started a year ago. Yes, I was pessimistic in many ways, always expecting worse... well It was bearable. There was hobbies, friends, joy. Yes, with bitter aftertaste, but it was fine.few years ago i met a girl. Wonderful, most kind and beautiful. And she was like a shining light for me. I don't know, how to explain... well i was recreating myself for her. Working, to became better person. it was short period of time, when i was a happy man. But... a year+ ago everything changed. She betrayed me for a Narcissist (she didn't know about that). And in that moment it was like all world collapsed for me. And this thing... dystimia started to blossom at full speed. Like all negative amplified 100 times. And my life became a nightmare. I self isolated from world. I dont' want to see people, don't want to bring that darkness to friends, to smile is almost impossible task. I abandon all hobbies, all interests everything. Everything became pointless. And this feel of guilt, that It's my fault, that this woman now with a narc. I can'r rid of that. And my only real wish is to die. Only thing, that stop me from killing myself is my father. He is 74 years old and he need my help. Sorry for bad english, I'm not english speaking person.

[@nussknackerin20]

I started to cry, because I felt the same for so long and hearing you putting it into words made me feel like I hear myself talk. It was so realatable. I didn't know this exists till a week ago, when I was diagnosed with Dysthymia. I was very afraid that they would send me away and say everything is finde, why are you even here. I only knew Depression and couldn't realate to every symptom, so I thought, the way I feel must be normal then. Thanks for the video!

[@MarcusRideout]

You're welcome for the video. sorry to hear you're navigating this - it's not a fun journey by any means, but at least having a diagnosis gives you the ability to learn more about how your body and mind works. Make sure you plug in with a support system - friends who are aware of my situation have been immensely helpful in my journey.

[@Lxnar514]

I just got diagnosed with dysthymia a week ago as a 16 year old high-school student. I thought it was how everyone in the world felt, but talking to my doctor and getting diagnosed with this really was an eye-opener. Thank you for making this video. It makes me feel better knowing that I'm never alone with this.

[@MarcusRideout]

I’m sorry to hear you’ve been diagnosed with this. It’s kinda intense when you realize that most people don’t feel like how we do, eh? How have you been since the diagnosis?

[@gene108]

I’m 49. I wish I got a diagnosis & treatment as a teenager or in my early 20’s, before I really spun out of control. There’s no switch that can be flipped to rewire the mind. It’ll some work to develop better coping skills, but will be worth it in the long run. You might be a bit more pessimistic than some of your peers, but changing negative self-talk is doable. One thing I wish I realized, when I was 22 and just graduated college is that life keeps giving us opportunities. Not obtaining one goal or getting rejecting does not mean nothing more is possible. Really had an all or nothing mindset back then. I hope all the best for you and know depressive thinking doesn’t have to be permanent. P.S. Something else I learned the hard way, perfectionism doesn’t make one perfect. It leads to procrastination and avoiding risks.

[@cherylbogdan5044]

Boy, you really aren't alone. But knowing so many around me say the exact same things I do helps soooo much. I almost feel a little happiness😊

[@jhaimeejane]

I got diagnosed with dysthymia a few days ago and didn't realize I've been having this since I was a kid. Wouldn't have been diagnosed with this if I didn't have a panic attack with PD/DR. Thank you for sharing your experience. Hearing this makes me feel less alone.

[@MarcusRideout]

Here’s to hoping the knowledge of what you’re experiencing helps to make it easier to deal with! It doesn’t vanish, sadly, but having the language to identify the experience helps

[@alexscarpa7573]

I’ve been depressed for 15 years. I’ve been living life on 4 hours of sleep every night , ruined relationships and career opportunities. I have 3 past suicide attempts. I was just tired of never looking forward to anything or being able to appreciate the things that would make anyone else content with life. I always feel guilty for being depressed even though I have a great life. It’s nonstop negativity, not matter what I’ve done or tried. I finally went to an inpatient program for 4 days after a severe MDD episode and am finally diagnosed and on Zoloft and back into counseling. I’m just hoping this will finally be a means to an end. But I’m happy and also heartbroken that I’m not the only one.

[@MarcusRideout]

Sorry to hear things have been so rough for you, Alex. I really hope you can begin to find some peace and clarity in navigating the recent part of your journey.

[@tiffanyscrafts5305]

As soon as you described the “mud pit” that you just can’t crawl out of, I felt such a great sense of understanding. I’ve been journaling about my symptoms and the best I could describe it was like quicksand, and the more you fight/oppose it the faster you will sink. That’s when desperation turned into determination. Thank you for this video and sharing your experience❤

[@MarcusRideout]

You're welcome on sharing it, Tiffany. It's def not an easy thing to navigate.

[@timbrown6629]

BINGO! I've described it as being in quicksand, and the more you struggle, the deeper you slowly sink.

[@t75kab11]

YES!! No matter what you do, YOU CAN'T ESCAPE IT. Enough said.

[@brycek2033]

At my worst I would literally stare at a wall since I can't feel pleasure (or connection) to pretty much everything. Being able to play video games while listening to podcasts is actually a big deal for me. Yes, I am similar to you in that I have been in therapy for a very long time and have tried two medications. The SSRI I am on now has been helpful with keeping my mood in the middle and definitely with sleep (I have been able to sleep through the night for the first time in years), but I still have very little pleasure, numbness, and I struggle to "feel" true gratitude for all the good things I have in my life.

[@nth256]

I've never been properly diagnosed with anything, but ever since I was a teen, i've always felt a sense of "downness"... not really depression, but just a lack of joy, a constant state of cynicism and an understanding that anything good would never last. Sometimes it's not bad, sometimes i'm barely functional, but always i felt a weght attached to me, a drag on everything I do. I was never suicidal, and in fact i believed, at times, that I didn't even *deserve* suicide - there are people with REAL problems, who have it way worse than me, that truly suffer; they deserve an "out". I've spoken with my doctor, who agreed that I have "depressive symptoms" and I've been on a course of Welbutrin for years now... it doesn't seem to do much, except when i stop taking it. It just kinda stops the lows from getting so low, but it doesn't make the highs any higher, and it doesn't make the middle any better. It just makes everything in the middle. It wasn't until a couple days ago that i learned about PDD, and how it is not the same as "mild depression". Your description of PDD is much more akin to what I've experienced than depression ever was. So thank you for putting this out. It's hard enough to pin down your own personal demon, but knowing it's true name is huge help.

[@MarcusRideout]

Wow, thanks for taking the time to share this. I can only imagine what it's felt like, especially when people associate 'depression symptoms' with 'suicide' or 'suicidal thoughts'. Not having those used to make me think "oh I guess I'm not depressed" or whatever, and it's a sneaky way to minimize what you're experiencing. I've been on Zoloft for 14 months now, and added Wellbutrin last month to help counter some of the sexual side effects (ie: not being able to finish as easily, lower sex drive). I've found that the combination has really helped - the Wellbutrin has helped put more pep in my step, so to say, where as the Zoloft alone was good at helping reduce the down stuff, though also makes it kinda just 'im existing' elsewhere... mind you 'existing' is better than the shit that PDD is like without it, so I'm still tinkering and working with my doctor to find the best fit for me. Best of luck in your journey.

[@jennyh3212]

Your video does an excellent job of describing dysthymia! I've struggled with this since my teen years, and when I was in my late 20's, I finally got medicine for it. It was a huge game changer for many years. Then, your body adjusts.. and 15 years later I had to start augmenting with other medications (probably tried about 8-10 over the course of a few years). One stuck, so that's my tratment now. It still doesn't prevent episodes however. Dysthymia is never cured. You are so correct about the litany of trite self-help "tips" that make me laugh or cry. They don't touch PDD. I'll never forget one of my first thoughts when I was on medicine for this... "my God, the world is in color". Thanks for sharing your experience!

[@MarcusRideout]

Thanks for sharing your story too, Jenny!

[@joant0675]

I have been diagnosed with persistent depressive disorder a few days ago. You really explain exactly how I feel. Thank you for educating other people about this disorder ❤️

[@MarcusRideout]

Hey there! First off, I'm so sorry you have to deal with PDD. It's not a fun one. It's not something that ever really goes away, but thankfully it can become a lot more manageable if you're willing to put in the work and to be super vulnerable when you're going through the hard times. No shame in exploring medications with your family doctor either!

[@urmom-he4ld]

hello marcus, i never comment on yt videos but i felt like i needed to because i can relate to you and so many other people here. thanks for making this video man. I was diagnosed with PDD a year ago, after 8 years of suffering and not knowing what was wrong with me. I started crying when u said that u were afraid your test was going to say that there was nothing wrong, because when I was first diagnosed, I kinda felt 'relieved' and also very guilty for feeling that way. I was given anti depressants, but stopped taking them after a month because i didnt feel any different. I started seeing a therapist who convinced me that my psychiatrist was crazy and had no idea what she was talking about. I later realized how toxic my therapist was and stopped seeing her. Lately, I've been feeling very lonely, empty, hopeless, and disconnected. And not knowing what to do about it. This video made me realise that my PDD diagnosis was probably right and I should see a psychiatrist again. Reading some of the comments of people in their 60s saying it still sucks for them, makes me feel more hopeless for the future and Im unable to see a way out. It really sucks having the same feelings and suicidal thoughts at 20 that I did when I was 13. Its exhausting to constantly feel that way. i always feel so angry and think, why me? also, I live in a third-world country where there isnt a lot of awareness around mental health, and good mental health professionals are scarce. being a broke college student doesnt help either lol.

[@MarcusRideout]

Hey there! I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this right now. This shit isn't easy - and I'm sorry to hear you had such a bad experience with your therapist. It took almost 2 whole months for antidepressants to work for me, and most people who I've connected with say it's been somewhere between 6-8 weeks for them as well. I only share that because it may be worth exploring again and talking with your family doctor. I was put on a 50mg dosage and my doctor increased it to 75mg at our 6 week checkup. It may sound weird to say it, but I can't imagine going back to life without medication. I know it doesn't work for everyone, and some folks have a helluva time trying to find the right match of medication for their brain wiring, but holy smokes things have been enjoyable again. The first few months of 2022 have been the best months of my life. I still have down phases, and I don't feel like I've fully recouped from what 2021 was, but I feel like I'm on the right track, if that makes sense. I wish you luck in your journey - do your best to surround yourself with others who can share their experiences with you too. I found the Dysthymia subreddit to be immensely helpful to not feel alone. Link here: www.reddit.com/r/dysthymia/

[@alessiaamanda9435]

​@@MarcusRideouthow are you doing now

[@LavenderSky499]

I was diagnosed with PDD this year and today I was inspired to seek a better understanding of it. I also recently came out of an emotionally abusive relationship in which the stigma against mental illness was very great. I got told "what is the point of knowing the name of your supposed condition?" "What's taking so long? When are you going to get better?" I just want you to know that I'm very thankful you shared your experience. Mental illness doesn't discriminate, so it should not be stigmatized. When someone like me hears another person's story who is having positive results to treatment, it gives me hope.

[@MarcusRideout]

Hey thanks for sharing! I'm glad my video was able to give you some hope. Sorry to hear you had such a rough experience with a partner downplaying your situation.

[@texastrav666]

The same exact thing happened to me. If you ever want to talk about it, lmk. Hope you found some relief, I did. However.. years later I’m here. Something is a little off, so back to the drawing board.

[@mtnadventures6338]

Good video! I have struggled with PDD since I was a teenager, now am in my mid 40's. I have done a lot of things in my life to be proud and satified with but it hasn't been easy. I have gone to therapy, which helped somewhat for a while. I have taken 4 different antidepressants (Paxil, Wellbutrin, Lexapro, Effexor) which also have helped somewhat but the negative side effects have driven me away from taking them. I wouldn't rule out trying more antidepressants in the future but for the time being am staying away -I just started micro-dosing with psilocybin and so far it's similar to antidepressants but hopefully without the negative side effects. I have come to the conclusion that PDD needs to be managed like any other chronic illness: sleep, exercise, mindfulness, diet, and socialization all help. It is frustrating how much energy and effort needs to be maintained just to be okay.....this is a tedious and difficult illness that I wouldn't wish on anyone.

[@MarcusRideout]

It’s definitely a tough one to navigate. Even with medication you still experience lows, though they don’t seem to last nearly as long as when I wasn’t on it. It was somewhat of a relief to be told what it was and be able to label it / be aware what’s going on when in the thick of it

[@ajmosutra7667]

Have you tried diet? I eat basically Mediteraean and after 7 years + running, and im getting much better. So sorry you have been so tortured for so long. My depression also started after ouberty

[@ajmosutra7667]

If my family didnt support me with money, i dont know if i would still be here

[@ajmosutra7667]

But now i feel normal...

[@homedd4life]

I can relate so much to this.. I’m going through the same thing myself. I’m 27 and I’ve had PDD/Dysthymia since I was diagnosed at 16 but I’m pretty sure I’ve had it since I was a child. This disorder is so heavily understated. It’s a constant battle. It feels like it’s gotten even worse as I’ve gotten older and now that I’m a mother it’s way more difficult to handle.. I hope you find peace and happiness. God bless

[@whosjuls]

I feel so relatable. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety almost a month ago. Now, it turns out i have PDD. And everything you said is what i've been going through all this time and damn it hits hard. There are so many things that u said that made me realize that was the way I've been feeling since I was a teenager, and some other things that i'm facing now. It's hard cause I feel guilty, hopeless, and empty. The worst thing is that i'm in college now and it's been difficult to get focused on that. Thanks for doing this video, it helped me a lot. At least now, I know that i'm not crazy or something. Plus, i'm starting with antidepressants next week, wish me luck!

[@MarcusRideout]

Good luck! No need to feel crazy, either. It can def be overwhelming leading up to getting a diagnosis, but I found things a bit more easier to handle once I knew what I was navigating. Make sure to plug into a community with others who have navigated the journey - can help you not feel as alone. When I was first diagnosed I was on the subreddit for Dysthymia a bit - helped give me more context. Link here: www.reddit.com/r/dysthymia/

[@anweshachatterjee2752]

I can relate. Same situation is here for me. Thanks for sharing. Love to you.

[@neshatsherifi8257]

Good luck and start medicine you will be just normal as other people i suffer all my lifer as a kind with dysthymia i was different from other i stayed alone much time didnt enjoy anything in life as a kid and a teenager in 2019i visit a psychiatrist and diagnose with dysthymia i got 30 appoinments with psychiatrist i have 3 years with medicine citalopram give by doctor in second year i diagnosed from cyclothymia caused by long time with dysthymia 3 years my freind i got psychotherapy light therapy i have to little improvements all over the years but now i feel 45% improvement it does to many months to see improvements with dysthymia now i feel it i feel much better dont want to stay alone anymore but you have to have faith and patience with this condition there is light in end of the tunnel.respect

[@maurreese]

My therapist diagnosed me with Major Depression and Persistent Depression and today it finally clicked. For at least a decade I felt this way and it affected my life and career. I am getting help and I encourage everyone to also seek professional help. Blessings and light 🙏🏿♥️

[@MarcusRideout]

Heya Maurrreese! I'm sorry to hear that you got hit with this, it's not an easy thing to navigate... however like you said, it's wild how all of a sudden your adult life experience can make a whole lot more sense. What do you feel you will be doing moving forward? Do you have a support system in place of friends or loved ones that you can have open conversations with when going through the hard times?

[@folwr3653]

Thanks for sharing your story. It is very relatable. But in my case years of therapy and trying all kinds of medication only made it sort of manageable. I was not a happy child, and had double depressions in my twenties. Only got a diagnosis when I was about 40. Now I am in my sixties and still strugling. Wish you all the best.

[@MarcusRideout]

I’m sorry to hear that’s been your experience.

[@laetitiachan956]

You speak exactly how I experience persistent depressive disorder! I struggle to find the words for! Thank you so much for posting about your journey.

[@MarcusRideout]

Hey thanks for sharing, Laetitia! I'm glad it helped with articulating your experience. PS: Sorry to hear it's something you have to navigate, though.

[@Bo-ct3hm]

This video was helpful. I know exactly what you meant by saying “ is there nothing wrong with me and everyone experiences this, just need to find healthy coping skills”. I fall under the title of a psych professional. I’m a psych RN and have been battling with this emptiness since childhood. I have lost interest in activities, have occasional moments of enjoyment in certain activities… then back into the rut I go. The best way for me to explain it is, feeling numb, or empty. Nothing I do gives me enjoyment. I feel like isolating and I have a social battery that gets drained easier and easier. I would say that the only thing that I enjoy is, helping adolescent teens get through their tough times. It makes me feel like I have some sort of purpose and maybe the can avoid going through how I feel. I have frequent reoccurring thoughts of suicide, but would never act on them. Cause I know how it would affect my loved ones and I have the tools to pull myself out of those extremely dark thoughts. But for some reason I have not been able to pull myself out of the depression. I’ve been trying to figure out what was wrong with me, going through the DSM-5. But it just now hit me tonight, that I most likely have PDD, instead of just MDD. I just need to actually seek professional treatment. You’re video gave me a small sense of hope. Maybe I should give Zoloft a try…. I tried Wellbutrin, it allowed me to quit smoking, but didn’t help with the depression. I guess it’s time to actually take that first step and see a therapist and ask my psych NP for Zoloft. Thank you again for sharing your experience!

[@MarcusRideout]

Time to talk with a trained professional. Only so much good can come from self-diagnosing :-) If it makes you feel any better, since starting medication life has felt so much better these past 10 months. I don't feel that overwhelming sense of dread nearly as much. The pointlessness of everything has melted away and I find I'm having fun in my life again. You don't have to go through this alone - time to step up and speak up. You can change your trajectory - best of luck in your journey, Bo!

[@brianmeen2158]

Yep, the constant feelings of emptiness and Anhedonia are how I feel too. Positive experiences do nothing to even reduce these feelings either. Certain medications can help certain aspects of this illness but cause their own problems. Hard daily exercise is the only thing I’ve found that is effective but even that is getting tiresome

[@XxSakurafairy24xX]

Thank you so much for this video!!!!! I have a loved one in my life that is going through depression due to life circumstances, coworkers, people in their life just constantly beating them down day after day and I could not figure out how to describe what they were going through until I found you and you checked off every single box!

[@MarcusRideout]

I'm glad you found the video to be helpful!

[@drawingwithmini3534]

This actually made me cry with relief. I’ve been struggling to be happy and keep up a good mood for 6-7 years. I tried everything but I never felt like any of the labels like just “regular” depression. I have for months just these heavy suicidal thoughts and they just keep coming back but I never got any help for it. I just thought that I was moody or something since I was able to just keep on going. But I have had this constant feeling underlying even when I’m happy that life just is meaningless. Kinda like passive suicidal thoughts, I don’t really care if I live or die has been my motto for the past years even though I’m able to do things like school and socialize I always feel like I just struggle to do the basic things. Things like showering, it takes so much effort but I just have to keep doing it. That’s kinda like what my life has felt like for years. Like life is just too much effort for what it’s worth. But this video just made me feel very seen and I just felt like the final puzzle piece clicked. Thank you truly for this🙏🏻

[@stephaniehaleysacay3577]

I was just diagnosed with PDD. This is so helpful, thank you!

[@MaryVerhomi]

'What if she says nothing is wrong with you' - I relate so hard. I felt such a relief when psychiatrist said i'd had dysthymia and needed some medication. I was afraid that's nothing wrong with me and it was just live and I needed to keep up on my own like everybody else was

[@MarcusRideout]

That's definitely not a fun story we tell ourselves, eh? Glad to read that you've found a degree of clarity from working with a psychiatrist. Here's to rockin' it moving forward 🙂

[@MaryVerhomi]

@@MarcusRideout thank you!

[@MarcusRideout]

@@MaryVerhomi you're welcome :D

[@Rhea.R_Journo]

I went to a therapist for the first time ever yesterday after contemplating it for a year. I went with my parents embarrassed that the situation at home has come to this. The thought of involving a third party didn't please them much even though they suggested it. But after opening up, which I've never done before in my life, my therapist explained my entire brain process which is what your video elaborates on. It's weird knowing that this question mark you felt all your life has a name to it and that you're not the only one. I'm hoping the start of my therapy journey will eventually change my life. Thank you for sharing this video it makes me and others feel extremely supported during these hard times.

[@MarcusRideout]

Heya Rhea! I'm so glad you finally went and had your first session. I'm also glad you had a positive "a-ha" moment there, cause it's not as quick for a lot of folks. Must have been challenging to go and be vulnerable in front of your parents - I'm not that open with my dad about my struggles, and I feel like he'd never relate, based on previous experiences. I had a similar story as you, in regards to how long it took me to go. I was searching for a male therapist for 6 months prior to actually going. I found the exact person I wanted to see, based on their webpage and "vibe", but it took me 6 months to finally book the session. I've been working with him since Aug 2019 and it's been one of the best things I've ever done.

[@Leafeagle]

Thank you for sharing your story and experience with PDD. I just learned about this term today, digged a little deeper and stumbled over this video. I'm in my late 20s, without really knowing why I just cannot function and don't enjoy life as much as friends and family seem to do. I'm on therapy on a semi-regular basis for 7 years, went to a psychosomatic hospital for a few months and still did not receive any kinds of diagnosis or more clues on my issues. Day to day life has been a constant grind since I was like 10 or 12 and I still feel that I have not found the right people / community that might help me with those things. Anyway, sorry for this essay of a text, but I felt that I had to put this one out there. Again, thank you for this video, and for everyone else who struggles with this, you are not alone for sure.

[@MarcusRideout]

No need to apologize for the 'essay of a text' :-) What has had you attention or focus recently? Any thing that's helped give you something to work towards?

[@judithlight1111]

Thank ya 🌟 It's so hard...and especially sad when some people believe....it can really change.Inside I feel nearly my whole life a deep sadness...a nagging void..and so tired! It's laying underneath of everything! I'm fighting and and then it hits you again...and then ya are in this world again.Much love to everyone ❤️And thank ya for the great explanation with the pic.. it's true!

[@ericsonbandilla9196]

I resonated with all the symptoms you talked about, especially the feeling of hopelessness, it's not easy to live life having those feelings around, and it's hard to achieve anything because of it because you cannot find a reason for everything, having suicidal thoughts and you can't explain why when you're just a kid. By the way, I just got diagnosed with Dysthymia today, and I still feel stuck. I was shocked when I learned about it and I was having this since I was just a little kid. I still haven't got an email response for the medication treatment from my psych.

[@christinekleinschmidt3082]

I had dysthymia since I was 10, but it wasn't diagnosed until I was 16. I am now 68. I have had stress management, anxiety management, CBT, and was referred to the gym. The gym calms me and so does cycling. I am now 68.

[@MarcusRideout]

Wow, thank you for sharing. I can’t imagine what impact it’s made on your life - I’m glad to hear those aspects have helped! I’m just getting the working out thing started over here.

[@bethany7189]

Ive been really struggling with my dysthmic disorder recently. The past three years have been honestly awful in terms of my mental health due to so many ups and downs, weirdly enough this is seemingly the most stable Ive been in a really long time. Nonetheless, ive been realizing just how much this disorder has impacted me and altered my perception of reality.

[@MarcusRideout]

It's really not a fun one, eh? Im so sorry to hear you've been struggling with this. Have you been seeking help or speaking with your family doctor?

[@Nottoification]

Thanks for the video. It made me realize how badly I do not want to go back to where I was. But also, I kinda forgot how bad it was and it is nice to already see how far away from it I am now. I've been diagnosed with PDD and retroactively suffered from it from at least 15 (but maybe 12) untill 25 years old (now). I always suffered from this inherent sense of worthlessness that I could stave off with adventures, accomplishments or doing what is considered "right" for a while. But somehow I would always return to this lonely, worthless baseline, like a hangover. It would feel way worse during times I partied a lot and would actually be hungover. I've had days I actually only felt like inconsolably crying while trying to work on group projects but did not because I felt it was not the place to do so. The best way for me to describe the feeling would be the ever present longing for a home or a family, feeling elated you found it, and then getting disappointed as you realize nothing actually changed and you are alone again. The always present feeling of being misunderstood or unseen. Be ware, I actually am a really social guy and can easily connect with new people. However, all those connections feel fake to me and never mature into deep bonds, thus I don't get to have the family or friend group I long for. I decided to get my diagnose and do something about it after realizing that I was out of goals and things I wanted to try out and kind of losing faith that there was anything that would create lasting reprieve. I think the causes of my depression lie in internal beliefs that I am working on changing in therapy but also through more body based trauma therapy approaches and tantra seems to go very well with it too. Although I don't think it is the same for everybody, I am slowly learning that actually experiencing my undesired emotions and being present in my body in the present is my way out of this mud pit. Hope anyone out there has a use for this.

[@MarcusRideout]

Hey thanks for going into detail and sharing your experience, Arne. Definitely can understand where you're coming from and have felt similar feelings. It's weird being someone who's been so driven and a 'go-getter' and seeing how this can still take us out. A lot of folks I've connected with don't even have the drive to make anything happen in their life.

[@paoloromano3367]

describing it as a hangover is perfect. like your body feels it was too high on life not even just heppy moments but everyday things and has to punish you.

[@cramej.1097]

Thank you so much for this video… i just got diagnosed with PDD/dysthymia this week and at 19 years old, i relate to the symptoms you mentioned… glad (not really glad because it’s a crappy mental illness) to know there’s a whole community going through what im going through… Im on zoloft and reone rn… one step closer to getting better i hope 🤞

[@MarcusRideout]

Glad to hear you've been seeking professional help, and yea, it sucks (but I'd rather know what I'm dealing with than feel powerless). Hopefully you find the meds help - it's made a world of difference for me. I still find I get hit with sessions of really intense depression, but it only seems to last a couple hours vs days/weeks now, so it feels a bit more manageable. Jan and Feb have been the best months of my adult life, no joke. I'll be 36 in April and never knew life could 'feel this good'

[@john_dren]

I've been told about this condition, and I surprisingly could relate to it very much. I'd like to know more about what is the "main" driver that keeps you down, if you don't mind sharing? If I had to answer the same question, I'd say what makes me dread life, is the state of society and the current system. is it similar to you? Or maybe revolves around more personal subjects?

[@babokas8194]

Hey ! really enjoyed this You are really well spoken and it kept me listening until the end (not easy i must say) . I am a 37 female and last year i was diagnosed with adhd innatentive. I keep trying to change the subject of interest so i can keep going in this crazy thing called living, but still, even the things that i like are never capable of delivering huge emotions for me. I started realizing when in group i am simply a poker face kind of person, i just dont find things that much fun (unless i drink, i used to binge drink but stopped years ago). The thing is... i have ALWAYS been this way. Since i was a child. I was an observer of life not a participant and i would walk by myself with this feeling of having a cloud over my head, i kind of learned to accept it. I dont know what i am here to say but thank you for the share :)

[@MarcusRideout]

Hey! Thanks for sharing - glad it was able to keep ya til the end :-) It def sounds like a tough experience you've led. Similar here, I cut out alcohol as well. Not cause I was a heavy drinker, but figure I didnt need to add any fuel to the fire.

[@ccarlynml]

Thank you for this video, Marcus. This is exactly what I feel, and probably most of the people who has PDD feels. I was diagnosed with PDD about 5 years ago and it was a tough journey. I hesitated to take antidepressants that time because of the myths about it. I’m scared too that people might find out and call me crazy. I tried talking to friends about it but do not understand at all and tells me to just shake it off and be positive in life - which makes me feel worse about myself. Yesterday I went to a Psychiatrist to finally seek serious medical attention cause I’m at the peak of it. I was given Fluoxetine and hopefully it will work for me. I’m grateful that I’ve found your video cause I will just make my family and friends subscribe to your channel and watch your videos so they would understand fully what I am going through right now - without me explaining. 😩 Thank you so much again and hope you make more videos. It’s really a great help ❤️🧡💛💚💙

[@MarcusRideout]

Heya Christine! Sorry to hear you've been struggling with this. It's not easy, at all. Medication has been immensely helpful for me, however it doesn't ever 'disappear', sadly. Been having a bad bout of it this week, myself. Make sure you have a solid connection group of people you can talk to whenever going through a hard time. Best of luck!

[@achalsharma765]

Yoga works like magic. I had been depressed for almost 7 years, a couple of days back I did sirshasana and depression juat disappeared in a couple of days. Its crazy how well this asana worked for me and helpful to you as well please give it a. try for a week and see the difference.

[@MarcusRideout]

Right on!

[@eldipi8313]

Just got diagnosed today after years of suffering and wondering whats wrong with me. Im shit scared of taking meds. Thanks for this. Hope more people find the caurage to talk about it.

[@MarcusRideout]

Hey good on you for seeking more clarity on your situation. I’m sure it’s led to a mix of emotions and feelings, and a TON of reading/researching about the topic. There’s nothing “wrong” with ya, your brain just does things a bit different and it takes time to learn to navigate the hand we’ve been dealt. :D Wish you the best of luck with the journey moving forward - make sure you plug into communities and places where you can talk with others about PDD!

[@brianmeen2158]

Don’t fear taking meds as they can help certain issues . I highly recommend trying them but just keep an eye out for side effects

[@OTDMike67]

Just a word of thanks for your video! Your honest and straightforward presentation has helped me, and I am sure has benefitted many others. I'm in my late 60's..it's never too late, or too soon, for anyone to gain knowledge and work on our challenges.

[@MarcusRideout]

Well thank you- I’m glad you enjoyed it. 😀

[@DougJenkins]

I was just diagnosed. I have been a audio engineer for years. I had the opportunity to work on some amazing stuff and all i could think about, was like you said in the video this indescribable gloom. Constant. People are like wow man thats awesome. Dude!! I was in bed depressed and cancelling sessions. I finally went to the dr and he diagnosed me with PDD. I feel relieved to say the least.

[@MarcusRideout]

That's tough, Doug. Sorry to hear that's been your experience. It's definitely not something I would wish on anyone. It's wild though, I'm guessing you've found a degree of success in what you do, but that no matter how much you get good at the craft there's this underlying thing just bubbling beneath the surface.

[@mwatson4970]

Thank you. I am possibly affected with this and have been for years. But I am trying to get help these last few years and just found out about this name recently. It makes so much sense. It's like being happy and still being sad. Or being sympathetic with friends but almost apathetic, always at the same time. Like there is never a full, single feeling or living in the moment, and that gets harder as I get older and still struggle with whatever I have. So thank you for taking abt this and making a video that can maybe explain this a bit more to my family how I'm feeling.

[@abhii2117]

Thank you so much for sharing your experience, i was diagnosed with dysthymia 2021 march, and i am under meds lexapro 10 mg since then, My symptoms were Extreme fatigue Loss of joy/connection Suicidal thoughts Low self esteem Pooooooooor Concentration Panic attacks Luckily, meds have worked really well for me, and i completed DBT and cbt as well, my doctor and i discussed to cut off meds by this june.

[@MarcusRideout]

Thanks for sharing - I'm glad to hear that medicine was helpful, and that you paired it with both DBT and CBT. I hope things go smooth for you in the transition phase off of the meds. It's something I've wondered about myself - if there's ever a point where life can work without them or if it's best to be a continued part of the journey.

[@thebennetts4370]

My wife recently asked me how I was feeling mentally and about my self esteem. I replied "I actually feel pretty good about myself.... but it's like 'so what. I don't care." I've since been diagnosed with dysthymia.

[@MarcusRideout]

Oh dude, Im sorry to hear that! How long have you had the diagnosis?

[@KlassenExercise]

Thanks for making this. I believe I have this as well (Male, 26). It's just this constant weight on my chest. I like your Photoshop analogy. Life carries on, but the depression lingers despite what's happening (good or bad). I've been going to therapy for a while but it's not doing much to help me anymore. I'm scared to go on any form of medication because of bad experiences in my youth, but your message at the end was reassuring. I'd like to figure this thing out and my hope is to make a video like you to help get the word out on this insidious illness.

[@MarcusRideout]

Hey dude! First off, thanks for taking the time to share your story. This stuff is no joke. I went through a similar feeling - worked with my therapist for 2 years but never felt like it was moving the needle where I needed it - still work with him for other areas, though! That led me to seeking out help + getting assessed. Go for it - you may learn a thing or two. :-) I'd rather 'know' what's up cause then I feel I can do the work to help accommodate it + learn how to be more kind to myself. Good luck!!!

[@stemaganahr]

Thank you so much. I was diagnosed about a year ago. Most relatable thing for me that you said: Being scared of there not being anything wrong with me, that this is all there is to life. I’m 23 now, suffered for 10 years. Things are starting to look up with a combination of antidepressants (fluoxetine for me) and therapy. But there are still many days where I’m quite depressed.

[@MarcusRideout]

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that Stephanie. On the bright side, at least you now know what you're dealing with and moving forward it helps. When I go through what feels like 'waves' of depression, I try to remind myself that what I'm experiencing is like being out in the ocean on a surfboard and being caught in a storm... and I just gotta hang on to the surfboard and eventually the ocean will chill the heck out.

[@ginginfarragher9932]

What I want to say to you~ You do have the gift of heart-felt soul searching, communication, writing & the organized gift of speech. (I can identify this, because I have difficulty in all these areas)… PLUS, a beautiful, calm voice to express yourself. This video shows that none of your life has been wasted (altho, I do know what you mean). You are exactly where you should be. I didn’t learn of my adopted title of Major Depression till my early 30's and struggled with meds' side effects that come with a female body for 20 years. I finally found one to work after menopause -decently. You have helped SO many people here! I think my new title is PDD! Thank you for all the time you put into this 🙏❤️

[@MarcusRideout]

Well hey! Thank you for the kind words :-) Best of luck navigating this chapter of your story!

[@rebeccakephart5563]

I am a firm believer that the best way to help change the world and help other people it's two conversations with her stories and the more we collectively bring our experiences together or we can help other people thanks for watching

[@MarcusRideout]

Sounds like a familiar quote :-)

[@ProPrivaC]

Thank you bro I’m new to this and have finally found that this is what was happening recently Same exact position and you helped me out make me know there’s others literally who feel exactly what I feel I appreciate that g

[@MarcusRideout]

You’re welcome! I’m sorry to hear you’ve been living with it - it’s no fun. On the plus side, at least you know what it is you’re navigating and can live life in the know. It doesn’t make it easier, but it’s def something that allows us to give ourselves some more grace, knowing it’s “beyond our control”.

[@jamesholden7277]

I'm 61 male iv had it all my life I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy thanks for your talk nice to hear you talk about it helps a lot god bless

[@MarcusRideout]

It's not a fun one, eh? Sorry to hear you've had to deal with this - I wouldn't wish it on anyone else either.

[@anweshachatterjee2752]

Hey Marcus, it's better late than never. Thanks for sharing your experience with us, I have diagnosed with PDD recently. I can relate so much with each and every thing you shared. Hope that I, also, will be able to get it over soon. More love and power to you and to them who are or had been suffering from depression.

[@MarcusRideout]

Hey Anwesha! Not a problem in sharing at all - not many folks talking about this it seems. Sorry to hear you’ve been diagnosed with PDD - it doesn’t ever really “go away” but learning how to navigate it + using the tools available thanks to science and counselling can make things a lot more bearable!!! Best of luck in your journey navigating this!

[@shannonhadfield7482]

Currently going through this process and searched for a video to help relate to. LOVED your analogy to the photoshop layer distorting our perspective. It's hard to describe but I've always thought of it like living life with constant sad violin music playing in the background. There is an almost persistent gloomy, melancholy tone to my life and it's just been the norm for so long. Beginning to open up to the idea of medication is scary because like you said there is so much misinformation, but hearing positive reviews like yours makes me more optimistic to try.

[@MarcusRideout]

Hey thanks for sharing your perspective Shannon! I like that analogy too. The main thing is to make sure you talk with your doctor and be very open through the process. It’s not a one-size-fits-all kind of thing.

[@guyaish6189]

Thanks for making this video! This disorder is not really a common and known one, so its really "nice" to know that im not special. I got diagnosed a few months ago after 10 years of suffering (and still) and i take steraline and i have a cpt therapist. But after years of trying therapists and methods it seems like nothing helps, and it also feels like it is because im the problem. That I dont let the help in. I really hope that its not just "who i am" and i really hope i could change that and take responsibility upon my life.

[@MarcusRideout]

First off - you're welcome on making the video. When I got dialed in with what I was dealing with a lot more of my adult life experiences made sense. It's sad to read that there isn't a cure and it's something we have to learn to navigate and live with - I hope you can do what you need to in order to 'let the help in'. It takes work, especially when in the lows - I'm rooting for ya!

[@Tayeolikiah]

Thank you -my teenage son recently been diagnosed and I want to be able to support him any way possible. This helped so much!

[@MarcusRideout]

Heya Anne Taylor! I'm so sorry to hear this is the case for him, however on the plus side, it's super awesome to see you showing up and looking for ways you can help and be there for him. We need more moms like you in the world :-)

[@thedovahkiin666]

At 14 years old I got diagnosed with ADHD, Anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder. By the time I was 16 my newer therapist I got after an attempt, she was confused as to why I was diagnosed with bipolor at all. Thats when she told me about PDD and how I fit those symptoms so much more. It all clicked and I understood. I still havent gone for an official diagnosis but PDD is commonly comorbid with ADHD so it makes sense to me. Sucks that I'll never feel any different. Day in and day out, I'm just....blah. All the time.

[@MarcusRideout]

Sorry to hear you've had that experience. I initially went to test for ADHD as well as 5 of my closest friends all have it and I thought it was an odd coincidence lol. Similar thing with you, hit a lot of the checkmarks for PDD according to the DSM5.

[@lillian5944]

I got diagnosed with PDD a few days ago. My therapist told me to dive into it and so I've been watching tons of videos and articles. And your video was one that resonated with me the most! Your description of the layer in photoshop is to the point. I've been struggling with low moods, self-confidence and serious suicidal thoughts for around 15 years. But I always thought that it cannot be depression because I still was able to study, to work, to have friends and relationships. And that I didn't deserve to feel this way or deserve to take a therapy spot because I didn't have any trauma and had a good job and friends. As you said, even on good days - the layer would never come off and it feels like life can never be good, that I can never feel truly happy. And whatever I tried, the journaling, gratitude, daily goals, bedtime routines, workout routine... Nothing ever helped. Thank you for speaking about all this and showing that medication and therapy can help! I've always been very much against medication and starting therapy has been a huge step... It helps to hear about other stories and that it can improve and is not something that will always remain the same. I've found most information out there quite discouraging as I'm reading a lot that it never gets better for a lot of people...

[@MarcusRideout]

I’m so glad that you found this video to be as helpful as you shared, Lillian! This made my day. :-) I know how difficult it can feel, and it’s really fascinating how our minds make us think “it’s not that bad” or “it can’t be depression” if you can have what looks like a balanced life of friendships, work, and study. I think that was the biggest hurdle I had too, especially as someone who’s self employed and who tends to look at the world through a “problem solving lens”. Keep me posted with how things go - I’d highly recommend exploring medication, even if it’s just temporary to help balance things out a bit. I wish I knew life could feel as good as it does on the other side - it’s kinda weird to say, but I almost forget how life felt before it. It’s been a night and day difference for me. Also the therapy thing is even more important. I view medication as kinda like a ladder to help you climb outta the ‘pit’, but you still need to take the ‘steps’ and climb it. Therapy has helped me gain a lot of perspective and to be more kind to myself when I’m having an off-day. They still happen with meds, but not nearly as intense as before, and now I find I’m more tuned in and can tell when it’s happening.

[@lillian5944]

@@MarcusRideout Thanks so much for your kind reply, Marcus! Yes I do think that is indeed the main problem with persistent depressive disorder... That one doesn't feel entitled to the way one feels and it takes a long time to seek help. Also your point of view on mediation helps a lot and it is exactly what my therapist told me as well. But hearing it from somebody how actually experienced it themselves is a different thing. in my country and culture, therapy and medication is something that isn't talked about much or accepted. It's really good to read the difference both made for you and I hope to see more about your journey. Keep doing what you're doing!

[@backpackedian]

Well said. Thank you. That part where you said what if they say that nothing is wrong with me was really scary for me. Along with the fear of them telling me that something is wrong with me.

[@MarcusRideout]

You’re welcome - yea that’s a very scary feeling to have to navigate when in that phase of “not knowing”. Good luck in your exploration!!

[@stupid4President]

Very recognizable! The main issue with PDD is that you think it's normal. I got diagnosed when I no longer couldn't go on. Turned out to be cptsd and pdd. I am 50 and angry that I wasted half of my life.

[@MarcusRideout]

Ah, wow. It's fascinating how we get those moments of clarity when it's at those rock bottom moments. How have things been for you since then? Do you feel like anything has changed just by having perspective on what you're dealing with now? (fully aware it doesn't really ever "cure")

[@stupid4President]

@@MarcusRideout I find knowing what has been 'wrong' in my life very revealing. It explains sooo much! And it makes handling stuff better. But I am still learning: the last couple of weeks were rough and I found out that it probably was a double depression (which I didn't know existed).

[@MarcusRideout]

@@stupid4President oh you were recently diagnosed? I def went through Double Depression, which is what led me to get assessed, so I know what you're talking about. That was a really rough few weeks for me.

[@priyankgusain6873]

@@MarcusRideout bro DO WHITH PDD CAN Lead to PTSD OR SCHNIZOPHERNIA.OR BIPOLAR

[@shyvegan2168]

Diagnosed with it 20 years ago, it is definitely a struggle every day. Thanks for sharing, this may help those close to me understand a little better!

[@MarcusRideout]

Hey I'm sorry to hear you've had to navigate life with it. Any tips or insights that have helped you over the years that you can share with me + anyone else reading comments?

[@venkyrocky4757]

Thank you so much for sharing about this problem. I have this problem since 3years,But finally I found my PDD just 1week ago through little research.I can't say just thanks my brother it's more than that for me.🙏

[@MarcusRideout]

Right on! Glad you found this video helpful. Make sure you speak with a medical professional as well - you can get some assessments done and see if there are any underlying issues that can create similar symptoms too! :D Good luck.

[@venkyrocky4757]

@@MarcusRideout definitely I'll meet tomorrow.Thanks for your reply brother

[@venkyrocky4757]

@@MarcusRideout Hello bro.. Hope you are doing good Have you feel any dysthymia symptoms After your treatment..because I also started taking medicine. Thank you brother

[@sunongral5605]

Wow so glad I found this video!! I wrote dysthymia on the search bar wanting to see if a band chose the word as a name hahaha It was extremely interesting to hear it from your perspective. I was diagnosed with dysthymia at 16 after being constantly depressed since I was 12. I tried three different prescription medications, one I attempted to overdose on. By college, I was taking the highest dose of Zoloft I could and still felt helpless. I stopped taking everything in 2019 because something happened with my doctor. I would say now life still feels heavy and empty most of the time but I've learned to appreciate it, not in some masochistic way but in the way that I use this void-like energy to better my understanding of the world and the human psyche. I also use this darkness in my art, and as a measure of the depths I can go empathizing with someone's pain. Noone can feel alone will me because I am not scared of facing the abyss. I cultivate anger as much as I can and use it to propel me out of staying in a bad space for too long. I've found that looking for happiness when you're too down is impossible, so it's necessary to go with the next best thing. From anger, it's easier to find the motivation I can use to do things that make me happy. I'm not ready to go back to medication but I'm open to it if it gets unbearable. Meds are definitely a good thing but as with everything in life, they have drawbacks just as great.

[@MarcusRideout]

I think there's something to be said about being able to look inward when it feels like the walls are crashing in. Most folks don't make space to sit in the silence (regardless of having depression).If it ever gets to a place of being unbearable make sure to speak up and talk to others. You don't have to go through it alone.

[@miahall6684]

I’m not diagnosed with anything but I have never resonated so much with what you have said here, I’m not sure what my next steps are but you have helped me understand and really put my feelings into words

[@MarcusRideout]

Hey thanks for sharing, Mia. I’m glad this video helped you with putting your feelings into words. I’d suggest talking with your family doctor or a psychiatrist for exploring a diagnosis or what’s up

[@edward5247]

i recently got diagnosed with dysthymia and avoidant personality disorder with social anxiety and ocd, i been on this depression since i was 11 i'm 25 now and i'm 3 weeks in with zoloft, the side effects are tuff, but i hope to see the light soon... Pdd is so underrated, i always saw people angry or too happy, i always saw the world in grey, i remember always thinking that something was off, i never enjoyed really any experiences fully. I remember when i used to drink alcohol low dose, was starting to see the world in colors, i had this feeling that people weren't judging so much, i felt more connected with the world. I thought my self "so this is how people see the world in normal conditions?"

[@MarcusRideout]

I totally understand this comment - that whole 'seeing the world in grey' stuff resonates hard. Hopefully you find the meds help - it's made a world of difference for me. I still find I get hit with sessions of really intense depression, but it only seems to last a couple hours vs days/weeks now, so it feels a bit more manageable.

[@susansmith-Bibleresearch4674]

Yeh you are the 1st one I've watched on this thanks...I definitely always said I had the big 3 because of abuse...ptsd, anxiety, depression but suddenly today I realized that long term depression was the main one...so when I googled long term depression this came up...and after hearing your video -Bingo! You were describing my life also. Because actually now after almost recovering from divorce, and things are good- still feel down...so your video really helped pinpoint the problem and will talk to my Doctor. Thank you for helping me and others.

[@MarcusRideout]

Heya Susan! I’m really glad to hear this video was helpful for you. Sorry to hear you’re navigating this, though. It’s no fun

[@corsothehealer]

One of the Best I have heard yet, no actually the best I heard on depression from a personal perspective! Thank you, Marcus! I hope to learn to speak this way. No judgemental of people who don’t understand it, not self-pity or complaining, but objective and confident. I have life long depression but now in treatment since 2020 and still no clear diagnosis, no support, and a lot of gaslighting from the people in my community… and sadly, family…and even healthcare professionals. I am in a post soviet Eastern European country

[@MarcusRideout]

Oh wow, thank you for the kind words! I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been experiencing life that way - the gaslighting part sounds absolutely awful. Have you started building a supportive network of people you can talk with? Are there any meetup like events you could attend where you live? @corsothehealer

[@corsothehealer]

@@MarcusRideout Thanks for reply! I need to have a look into available communities, for now it seems that the only such supportive community are LGBTQ+ youngsters in the capital city, who are misunderstood as much.

[@carlkellner1310]

Thank you for this. You help people understand what dysthymia is like. I've been haunted by dysthymia for 25 years and finally found a therapist who was able to diagnose it correctly. Living with dysthymia really feels like an uphill-battle even if you're just trying to get trivial tasks done. Plus, for me, Kurt Cobain was a hero since I was 12 y/o so taking that way out always seemed noble in a perverted way. So, dysthymia and suicidal ideation can go hand-in-hand so make one's life truly miserable... Spiritual practice, e.g. meditation and yoga, really have helped me - so, there's that.

[@MarcusRideout]

Heya Carl! First off, I’m sorry you’ve had to live with dysthymia. It’s no fun at all. Def hear you - I have been a big Nirvana fan for a long time. Did a 10 year anniversary show of his passing and even smashed a guitar on stage Cobain style 😅 Any practical tips or experiences that have helped you navigate the dark days? Yoga and exercise seem to be good for folks, though it can be tough as nails to do anything when in the pits of it.

[@carlkellner1310]

@@MarcusRideout Hi Marcus, I really appreciate your reply, thank you. I'm happy to hear that Nirvana means a lot to you, too! Regarding tips for navigating the dark days - here are some things that have helped me: - Psychotherapy has been a huge help. Cognitive behavioral therapy, to be specific. However, the most important thing there is to find a competent therapist, in my experience. My first attempt at therapy was when I was 15, and that therapist was terrible - after that, I felt that therapy was not going to help me at all. It took me 20+ years, a divorce and years of suffering to give therapy another go. I'm glad I did - the therapist I found 2 years ago is great, and his therapy helps A LOT. So I encourage anyone struggling with dysthymia to get professional help from a therapist who knows their stuff - it really can make a huge difference! - Yoga practice is a game changer for me. I remember hearing about yoga again and again, shrugging it off like - "Yeah, I know it would be a good thing to do, but... whatever" But I met great yoga teachers who gave me a very simple, beginner's ten minute sequence of yoga asana - and starting the day with those ten minutes of yoga changes the quality of the day for the better. It really is remarkable. And in the evening, 10 to 15 minutes of meditation - just sitting, focusing on the breath, letting thoughts just come and go - helps me make peace with whatever BS the day has brought my way. - Writing songs is carthatic. It helps me express those haunting thoughts and feelings, and turning that stuff into art is a way of transcending/ digesting it. And here's the caveat - you are absolutely right: When the days get especially dark, one just doesn't have the energy to do anything to get better. If that's the case, my advice is: Fall, when falling is what is happening right now. It's not going to last anyway; for the time being, just be with that hopelessness. I learned this from a Chögyam Trungpa book ("Crazy Wisdom") - hopelessness is a key ingredient to the spiritual path. Sometimes, it is our idea that we shouldn't feel this sh*tty that makes feeling this sh*tty unbearable. Sometimes, I just sink. And that's okay, because that won't last either. That's the kind of "wisdom" I got from 25 years of dysthymia. Hope that was helpful. I wish you all the best. Kind regards

[@romanqueen7868]

Wow nice to see a video about this condition it definitely resonated with me especially your description. I had this all my life till my 30s then had a depressive episode a psychiatrist diagnosed me with it i just felt relieved and after the meds kicked in i began to feel oh this is what normal ppl feel like like a dark cloud that was covering me whereever i go had lifted.

[@tornikegavasheli8732]

Great insight! I have had this existential dread, anxiety and OCD issues since my teens. I lose motivation easily after an initial euphoria and can't keep it up, all the more so when i am undergoing one of the crises. It is really tough when your are in the middle of the dark period, especially when you are hopeless and think that it would have been better not to have been born or wish you were dead. However, i have always managed to get to a better place mentally and then when i think back on my suffering it astonishes me why i wished non-existence when life is so beautiful. Hopefully, i don't have to live with this condition for the rest of my life or at least will be able to withstand it and find joy again. Wish you best of luck and many happy, enjoyable days!

[@MarcusRideout]

Wow, thank you, first and foremost, for being so vulnerable and sharing this, Tornike. It's definitely not an easy one to navigate - living with existential dread is a real buzz-kill and one I'm all too familiar with. I hope you have a great week, dude!

[@richardf3327]

Thanks for your video. I was recently diagnosed with dysthymia after living with it for 40 years and after another suicide attempt I can relate to so much you and your commenters have said. Particularly re: it can shape personality and become an ingrained trait. I have had a lot of help over the last 2 years from a psychotherapist as well as a psychiatrist prescribing various antidepressants because there's no "one size fits all" (at least not for me). Awareness of mental health issues helps me to realise that I am not alone with this. It also helps those non sufferers around us to understand our illness. Personally, I feel that I am making progress now and I wish I hadn't suffered in silence for so long.

[@MarcusRideout]

I'm glad to read that you feel you are making progress, Richard. It's really tough to live with, and the worst part of depression is it really stacks that feeling of "I'm in this alone". Thank you for sharing your story - I believe that the more of us that speak up and share our experiences, the more light we can shine on this, the better things can be for others. It won't cure us, it won't take away those really off days, but my god it helps to not feel alone.

[@davidwhitney1171]

I'm 65 and have had PDD at least since my teens, and up to the present time I've been through a 40+ year Odyssey through the strange netherworld of therapy, medications, hospitalizations for suicide attempts, and have experienced the general disgrace of the entire mental health care system. I've had multiple therapists, some good, some who didn't have a clue, others whose conduct verged on malpractice. I've recently resumed therapy with someone who seems very good, but I'm not especially optimistic; she's presently doing EMDR with me and I'll see how things go. What I've learned over the course of my life is that unless they have PDDno one can understand it.... I've heard the usual cliches all my life, including from therapists, which everyone who has PDD knows so I don't have to repeat them here. But I sometimes explain it this way: no, when I was ten years old or so I did sit down and decide well, I could be a happy go lucky, smiling, optimist but I'll be a Depressive downer instead. No, I did "choose" to have PDD- rather, it chose me, and its grip on my mind will likely persist until I die...

[@MarcusRideout]

I’m sorry to hear about your experience - it sounds brutal. There’s nothing worse than advice from people who don’t “get it”. I hope you can continue to find good moments in your journey.

[@alfredoarnezvaldes6810]

I had PDD since I was a child and never realized until I was 37, It's extremely corrosive. It affects goals and achievements and makes you feel extremely tired, bored of everything and lost. Therapy was a Game changer for me. Amazing video! Cheers from Bolivia

[@MarcusRideout]

Hey thanks for sharing, Alfredo! Glad to hear that therapy has been helpful for you. What sort of therapy have you been doing? Cheers from Canada 🙂

[@alfredoarnezvaldes6810]

@@MarcusRideout was psychotherapy, they taught me how to manage my perception of my own thougts in stressful situations, also manage and recognize some experiences that were influential since my childhood and so on..., Really, what I learned is that therapy has a lot to do with the type of personality.

[@MarcusRideout]

@@alfredoarnezvaldes6810 Thanks for sharing - that's insightful :-)

[@SM-zf6ye]

It’s so nice to see the sun through the clouds when those days come

[@MarcusRideout]

indeed!

[@derrekord]

I tell people all the time: My antidepressants didn't fix me, but they definitely helped balance me. It still took work, but I know I am a lot better off with them. And that's definitely not to say it's the same with anyone else, I just know it worked for me. Great to see you taking steps AND talking about it. Will definitely be back for more of these style videos!

[@MarcusRideout]

Hey thanks for sharing Derrek! How long have you been on them? 100% feel ya on that experience - It's been similar on my end too. If I had of known what it would be like for me, personally, on the other side I would have been on them waaaaaay sooner.

[@derrekord]

@@MarcusRideout like 6 years now!

[@MarcusRideout]

@@derrekord oh wow! What led you down that path? The whole self-awareness thing that comes leading up to it is kinda wild.

[@derrekord]

@@MarcusRideout I decided I would either die, or fight to get better. It was rock bottom. I couldn't even leave my house. Then I finally got out for walks, went into stores, saw friends again, and built step by step. The meds just gave me a little help doing these. Since then I've hosted concerts, gave talks, etc. The bottom line is I just wasn't quite ready to throw in the towel.

[@MarcusRideout]

@@derrekord dude, that's some powerful stuff right there. seriously. thanks for taking the time to share your experience - I'm sure it will help others who are struggling too!

[@lilabb88]

I believe that what you went through on vacation, after the breakup, was grief. I recognize myself in your story, and I understand dysthymia. Sadness and mourning need to have their space at the right time. Handling is hard

[@samwisedonegan]

Thanks Marcus for making this video. I was on the fence about taking the sertraline prescribed to me but I think I’ll go ahead with it now. It took me so long to get to the point where I realised something is actually wrong because I thought there was truth to my cynical thoughts that other people just couldn’t see. Like I will see people doing everyday stuff and think “pfft, don’t they know that’s pointless and the world is messed up?” Like I had some unique access to truth or that I was smarter than everybody else. I chased success a lot but every time I got somewhere or made something big, one of the double depression episodes took me down. I explained it to myself as “maybe this job or this relationship isn’t right for me which is what is causing these episodes”. This is a complex and nuanced disorder that masquerades as “slightly off normal” a lot of the time so thanks for bringing attention to it. I have a therapist and some meds now so hopefully I can get to the other side.

[@MarcusRideout]

100% hear you on this. That’s very similar to how I felt - this thing masquerading as almost-normal but slightly off. The double depression hits are a mother f’ker too. That’s what sent me down on my spiral shortly after closing shop on my previous business

[@paisleyprincess7996]

I have Dysthymia. It’s like a layer of smoke that blocks out the sun. You still see the sun, but the the smoke makes everything muted and gray. It’s like waking up in the morning and it’s a foggy. Every day. Since I was about 4 years old.

[@MarcusRideout]

I really like this analogy. Another great way to sum it up a bit for folks not familiar with it.

[@RxDoc2010]

I have been living with depression for about 13 years, diagnosed with MDD for about 7 years, and will be talking to my psychiatrist on Tuesday about PDD. Since I met the criteria about 5 years ago I think I will see a change to my diagnosis, unfortunately there is not much else to try treatment wise. I haven’t gone a day in the last 5 years or so without suicidal thoughts. I keep looking for a solution or at least a reasonable treatment but no luck so far.

[@skyxstl6653]

I’m also so scared to get tested in fear that I don’t actually have anything. There’s the fact that I have to find a therapist again and I don’t even know how to start that process by myself.

[@MarcusRideout]

That’s a totally valid fear that I had to face too. Best way is to start with a google search in the local area! 😀 good luck with it!!!

[@ppnovoir]

I got diagnosed with PDD last June, and you are so right about having around 10 years before getting help. I have suicide ideation, and my doctor thinks I have symptoms of schizophrenia because I keep hearing a voice that sounds like me, but I don't recognize it as me. I've been on medications for a month now, and I'm in a state of limbo, sort of. I'm half feeling guilty because I'm taking meds and half feeling lost if this "lighter" feeling is what most people encounter. Anyways, my parents didn't believe my illness (I had to push myself to ask for help). However, my father gives me financial support to get better. I hope these medications will help me finish college, or it might finish me after all. Thank you, Marcus, for making me feel validated once again!

[@MarcusRideout]

Hey I'm glad to read that you're dad is helping you with the support financially and with the medication. It's not easy to navigate, however kudos to you for still pushing forward and seeking help when otheres didn't understand what you are going through. It takes time to learn how to "ride the waves", however at least now it seems like you have a better understanding of what you are dealing with. It doesn't take away the hard parts, but it makes it a bit more manageable, I find.

[@Elham_32356]

I have dysthymia and bipolar. Yes, maybe it's hard to believe? Tell me, is it possible? It is possible, but it requires a lot of talent, you must have talent and the conditions will complete the story. Sometimes I am ecstatic and the rest of the time I am uniformly depressed And this is a permanent and unending situation. Despite trying to live a normal life, I'm practically stuck, I can't stay in one job and be compatible. What's normal like? I have no idea what it's like. People who don't have physical or mental problems are the happiest people, even if they're not successful, you're happy because you always feel You are not miserable. And I haven't had this simple and ordinary happiness for years I miss sleeping one night and not having a dream I miss reading a book with concentration Missing to play an instrument and be able to concentrate I am surprised that someone asks me how I am, and when I say I am fine, I don't have a conflicting feeling inside Longing for one day less obsession I would like to say that a month passed and my pillow was not wet with tears I long for my mental to work better one day, and believe me, I tried my best for it and I am doing it But I don't see any particular result. This is an unequal war, an unending war. My shoulders are tired of bearing this situation and I am just continuing in vain because of mom and dad. Other people have no understanding of it and how alone I am. How alone I am in the midst of all this crowd. The feeling of being different from others bothers me a lot. By others, I mean the circle of normal people around me. Are you saying that there are many like you? I have not seen them around me. How unachieved I am And how much without experiencing normal things. Tired of enduring so many years of illness and tired of not being able to talk about my feelings. If you have a peaceful sleep You are fine during the day You can have fun even if you don't have the job you want You are lucky and you should be thankful every day. This is a gift that many people don't have and they have to work twice as hard to get it.

[@JohnSmith-rz7oi]

I heard that this sort of thing doesn't really go away, but you just get better at working with it. Having PDD or any disorder is never completely negative. There are silver linings to everything.

[@MarcusRideout]

I guess the silver lining is it can lead to becoming more self-aware, if you're willing to do the work? Kinda forces one to do it a lot quicker than living without it, but that's just my hypothesis lol

[@christinekranz4844]

I'm SO glad i found you! This is me! It's me! Going on almost 10 years. I need to go to the type of place you went to to get tested. I want to go tomorrow!! What kind of place did you go to? Or what type of company? Thank you in advance. I'm happy that things are working for you and i hope you continue to find peace. ♥️

[@MarcusRideout]

Heya Christine! I started with a psychologist - looked for ones that were reputable in my city. I didn't know "what" (if anything) was off with me, so I asked to be tested for everything. She did a series of cognitive function tests, for ADHD, Depression, etc. It was pretty grueling and my brain was fried after. Might be worth asking your family doctor to get your thyroid levels checked as well - that's something I also live with, and if i miss my thyroid supplement I will feel it 100%. Lot of things can work against your brain, but you're not alone in this. Seeking clarity is a big step. You got this!

[@ozzy6771]

Holy shit this video was like a mirror. I was diagnosed with it unknowingly 5 years ago, and only just now looked into what it was. Thank you so much for sharing your story!

[@MarcusRideout]

Kinda trippy to experience that "mirror" moment, eh? Sorry to hear it's something you have to navigate though!

[@M_IAWIA]

I reached out for help a week ago, and have been doing consistently worse since as I'm waiting for a therapy appointment. My doctor assessment is that I have mild to moderate depression. I've been thinking about that a lot the past week, and realised I've had these feelings for a long time. The hopelessness, the sleeplessness, everything you describe basically. I'm scared for the answer to be that there really is nothing wrong with me, I hope I have it just so that I can have a chance for things to get better.

[@MarcusRideout]

I’m sorry to hear you’ve been having a tough time right now. It’s a valid fear to have - that “nothing’s wrong” be the response when everything feels so dark.

[@RobTruscott]

Very awesome of you to share. I did the same thing when I discovered nobody was talking about my cancer. So, I started talking about it on my channel.

[@MarcusRideout]

Thanks dude, and also, holy smokes, sorry to hear you've been navigating that journey! How are things going in your world these days?

[@RobTruscott]

@@MarcusRideout its been quite a journey - Bladder Cancer. I didn't know it was a thing, until the doc said it. Medically retired from the military after 31 years, going to school full time for digital marketing right now.

[@MarcusRideout]

@@RobTruscott That's cool that you're pursuing digital marketing now! It's a super fun field to work in - what do you want to do with it moving forward? Also - got the cancer thing under control / is it in remission?

[@RobTruscott]

@@MarcusRideout Right now, I live in Halifax, and I volunteer with the Bladder Cancer Canada, so these skills will help me be a better volunteer, for them and other fundraising events I support. The doc is happy with how cancer goes, but 60-80% chance of recurrence, so he says it will likely come back eventually. He uses the term - "No evidence of Disease".

[@MarcusRideout]

@@RobTruscott That's great that you're able to lend your skills to help raise awareness, and also that things are going smooth in your world with "no evidence of disease". PS: I'm from Newfoundland originally - love the East Coast! :-)

[@sanic0718]

Thank you for sharing this story with the world, I guess I have PDD, at least I think I do. I'm Wendell and everyone always calls me smart and tells me I'm so tall but sometimes I think I'm not smart enough or that I'm stupid sometimes I'll do something and just call myself pathetic and disgusting I always avoid social situations I lay awake in my bed just staring a the wall at 10am-4pm when I wake up just asking "what am I going to do with myself in 10 years,", "Am I up to the task,". In this age of big flashing lights cool race cars money sex and superficiality thanks for just sitting down and being real and really trying to explain who you are. It helps, you've helped me. Don't let anybody tell you differently.

[@MarcusRideout]

Hey Wendell! Thanks for sharing your story - I’m sure it’s not easy to open up about this stuff. Have you had a chance to talk with your family doctor or a counsellor yet? It can really help working with someone who’s professionally trained and can help you navigate this! You got this!!!

[@falloutlupus2135]

My tipping point was just having constant breakdowns at work last year. It took me around 13 years or even more to get diagnosed. I’m only 21.

[@MarcusRideout]

That's rough, I'm sorry to hear that's been your experience. Hopefully now that you know what you're dealing with you can build your life in a way that is aware of what your brain goes through. I'm really wishing you all the best - have you started taking meds or talking with your family doctor about it?

[@andemyfav]

I totally related to your comments about reading! I've had this since probably a teen ager but was put on Prozac in 96...still on it. But the last few yrs it's increased the reading and compression is at an a time low! I can barely read a people magazine article. It was my favorite habit. And I'm giving up. Trying audio books but those just put me to sleep. If anyone has a suggestion give me a shout out. Thanks

[@MarcusRideout]

If you find a solution, please let me know! I still struggle with reading to this day - and I was an avid bookworm reading a few books a month regularly.

[@kentaro0096]

Thank you so much for talking about this. I have this as well. It takes a lot of energy to deal with it almost every day.

[@MarcusRideout]

You’re welcome, Kei! What have you found to help you on the journey of dealing with it? Are you on medication as well?

[@kentaro0096]

@@MarcusRideout Yep, on medication as well. So far, I found that having a routine plus tracking my mood, symptoms and triggers help me manage it.

[@MarcusRideout]

@@kentaro0096 likewise! I actually just filmed another video when I made this one on my routine to help manage this, and tracking my mood def made the cut! How long have you had your diagnosis / “officially” been dealing with it? (Obviously it shows up well before a diagnosis too)

[@kentaro0096]

@@MarcusRideout I've been dealing with it since my teen years, and only got diagnosed 4 years ago.

[@MarcusRideout]

@@kentaro0096 oof. It’s crazy how long this thing kicks around before realizing it for what it is

[@lxblake]

Wow sir… you pretty much summed up my experience. I would call it 'the swamp’. Just a feeling of pointlessness… and I used to think that this was just the way all people felt, thanks man.

[@MarcusRideout]

Yea it’s a wild realization when you find out that the majority of folks don’t feel that way

[@mr.chambers4823]

I was diagnosed with dysthymic disorder in 2017. I can relate a lot to this, thank you

[@MarcusRideout]

You're welcome! What sort of things have you found to help you better live with it?

[@mr.chambers4823]

@MarcusRideout well I've just started therapy and trying to be as open to this as possible. I go to the gym 3-4 times a week that seems to be an outlet for me. I'm working on developing more healthy coping methods

[@patsaras]

Persistent Depressive Disorder with panic attacks and anxiety and probably ADD is my diagnosis. Especially anxiety and panic attacks I've had them for years, 22 plus years since I was a 11 or 12 years old kid. I haven't found a solution or solutions for that matter yet and it really sucks. I have great difficulty a lot of times getting out of house or doing activities that matter to me or that I enjoy. One of the problems regarding my mental health is that I sleep too much. I have taken a lot of different medication but without good results. But I have hope and faith that things can and will get better eventualy. I live in Greece and excuse me if I don't write english well cause it is not my mother language. I think you analysed and explained PDD perfectly...Thank you!

[@MarcusRideout]

Ah that sounds like it's a rough experience. What have you been doing to try and navigate it all? I hear ya on the sleep thing, for sure.

[@obelysk4209]

I have lived with this my whole life im 38 i was diagnosed at 13 but i had been having mdd episodes on top of pdd since i was 6 puberty was the worst eventually i learned to live with it fake it till i make it home then cry in the shower however 6 months ago i couldnt deal with it anymore because i had literally lost all motivation to do anything but work because i had to and other than that i slept non stop so i went to my doc and he diagnosed me with adhd inattentive and adderall 15 mg er has changed my life pdd levels way off havent had a double depression episode anxiety is way down and im literally able to live my life

[@Agentofchaos007]

I have been trying to figure out what’s been wrong with me for years. I have researched mental health stuff to the point of creating lists of different issues with all their comorbidities and playing connect the dots to try and piece something together that at the end of the day still felt wrong until I watched this video and everything clicked the way I’ve been feeling for as long as I can remember. I always wondered why people talked about depression coming and going I just thought I had the worst possible version and no one but me saw it. Now that I know what I’m up against is a huge relief but it’s also scary because of how I have just enough energy to get through the day as it is am I going to have the strength to fight back or will what always happens happen and I will try really hard for 3 min and then give up. But now that I know what it is I can look to people like yourself who have started making a roadmap for the rest of us and there’s now a community that actually understands what I’ve been going through which is a huge relief as well.

[@jamesholden7277]

I have had it all my life every day is a struggle nothing seems to make me happy I'm on Sertrline and it takes the edge of it but never goes away iv had to learn copping with it my friends invite me to the park there happy and I don't feel anything then I get guilty because I'm not like them but things I used to like are gone iv no interest in anything there so much more I could say thank you was nice to here you

[@MarcusRideout]

It’s definitely an odd experience, eh? I agree with the “taking the edge off”, however it never seems to just disappear completely, sadly

[@stevencuesta9473]

Thankyou so much I've watched this video twice I don't even know how it came for me to see this Thanks for yout humbleness

[@MarcusRideout]

You're welcome, Steven.

[@annanuss2041]

Thank you for making this video. It is super nice to hear about your experience.

[@MarcusRideout]

You're welcome, Anna :D