Tactics and Mind Games of the Female Covert Narcissist

If you are dealing with a female covert narcissist, this video will explain the exact tactics and mind games she uses to not only lure you in, but also to anchor you into the relationship so you feel like you can never leave her... at least not without feeling extremely guilty and like a complete failure.
If this video resonates with you, please like, share, and subscribe so that others might find help in it as well! I would so greatly appreciate it. 💜
It's my intention that everyone who watches gets at least one important take-away. 🙏
/ @liseleblanc
About Me
Hi! I'm Lise Leblanc. I am a therapist, life coach, and author of 9 self-healing guides. I have over 20 years of experience in therapeutic, educational, and leadership roles.
For information about private coaching, please visit: liseleblanc.ca/products/coaching
Introduction (0:00)
Who is she looking for? (1:25)
P.H.I.L. (2:12)
Phase 1 - Luring You (3:08)
Phase 2 - Reeling You In (5:45)
Phase 3 - Anchoring You (7:03)
Her Goal (8:45)
Controlling (9:45)
#narcissist, #NPD, #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder, #covertnarcissism, #femalenarcissist

[@TallSilentGuy]

1:51 "If you are in a relationship with a female covert narcissist there is no happy ending." I beg to differ. Getting rid of her is a happy ending!

[@buckrogers8889]

Lol

[@Portia620]

🤣😂🥂🥂. aMEN!! When they leave it’s so hard to date! I keep trying and say…nah! I met nice people but can’t move to the next step!! I need to move to the met friends app. I don’t want sec or anything from people!! Humans are shallow and so many are super sick!

[@mkoppguidingforcema]

In the long run, absolutely...just have to resist ever going back and move on with life!

[@supernova7848]

Wow , you described Harry’s wife !

[@jeramyb2829]

I’m in this boat. I love her. But. The narcissist in here is too much. Especially coming from a vet who loves to fight. Like bro. At least pick a pusy

[@gogo-bi9qh]

Men - this is gold! We’re taught girls are sugar and spice and everything nice, so to think that a psychological abuser can be packaged like a pretty girl defies our logic. You’re not gonna get this info in couples therapy. That will just be used as another vehicle to make you think you’re the problem. It took me 60 years and KZbin channels like to this understand it. Hopefully this kind of content will save young men from the same fate.

[@kerryfoster1]

I doubt it though! 😅😅

[@dragonyoshi1]

You see a sweet girly face and it's as if you can't even fathom the manipulation and cruelty they commit.

[@Breauxmann]

gogo, thanks for sharing this. It’s true what you say. I’m hard wired to protect, but I have this cognitive dissonance because what I want to protect, I think in my mind “needs” protection. In reality, I’m the one needing protection from her and her behavior. There’s so many layers to this thing.

[@chamboyette853]

It is incredible that if a man uses a term which is derogatory towards a woman he is called sexist, but not so if it is the reverse. It shows just how sexist our society has become.

[@chamboyette853]

@Steve Morley Probably many men do what you are saying. But you can't deny how lopsided things have become in the past 7 years. Look up "how a man attracts/keeps a woman" and then do the reverse search just to see how lopsided it is. Or "man up" compared to "woman up" or "a man should provide" and "a woman should be in the kitchen". I can go on. And precisely horror films nowadays have a lot fewer women dying. And you didn't answer for all the other stuff I put about the woman being the stupid one in the relationship etc,.., But obviously it is so important for you to be right that you block out anything which puts your point in question.

[@Kevin_Knox]

Dear god this is eerily accurate. I paid her bills, I accepted her kids, I accepted her horrific past. None of it was enough.

[@davidarango5592]

Thank God she not in your life creating chaos. I pray someone arrives to you, as noble as you that loves you and cares for you. I had one , but I was the one with the kids , that didn’t even live with me. Went above and beyond still wasn’t enough. Left me broken took 5 years to finally get over her , been 7 years since she left still haven’t found anyone else. Like the lady said crushed me and left me confused. And that I’ll never find anyone like her. Which is good but still haven’t found a partner am sure you’ll be different. I have PTSD from childhood trauma, I think is that. Best wishes friend

[@210SAi]

Her kids?!?!? lol you got catfished

[@LeeEverett1]

Similar situstion. I accepted her horrific trauma filled past, all her baggage including a failed marriage that didn't even last a year, paid 100% of the dates, took her to places and experiences she's never had, treated her better than all her abusive exes etc and she ended up ghosting me while in a relationship. Never said we were breaking up, never hinted she wanted out, she just blocked me everywhere without a word and immediately got on dating apps.

[@210SAi]

@@LeeEverett1 your fault for chasing a divorcee

[@navalkishore3402]

Same here

[@mawoods34]

i only stayed because i could not leave my kids, if we never had kids i would have been gone years before

[@2005tmonkey]

Man everyone says they stay for the kids. I did the same thing. But you don't have to. It's not good for the kids either to stay in that relationship. One day she will leave and say you were abusive. If you don't continue to always let her have her way. She would rather live under a bridge than to not be the center of attention.

[@BigMac8008]

Pretty shitty thing to do, both to yourself and the kids.

[@TapRiot]

This is what I’m stuck on. My kids Love her so much, and I love them. She has undermined me so many times, that I’m the “bad guy.” She has actually had me convinced that I’m the problem. She calls me selfish and a narcissist. So, I started looking into it here, and found quite the opposite. I was married before with 2 kids for 10 years (got married very young, and we grew apart) Met her like a year after I got divorced (it was very fairytale like) we dated for three years and got married. My daughters from the first marriage were very involved in our lives, as my ex and I had joint custody. We have currently been married for 17 years with three children of our own and it is heavily implied that our marriage is failing because I’m the problem. And it’s because in her mind, I’m not really living up to this unrealistic standard. So it has been very much on my mind that I must be the problem since I have “failed” at 2 marriages. But, what I am learning is that it appears to be the sort of woman on attracted to. My mother was very cold and distant to me.

[@ronnieforcast5184]

Same here

[@bocawilliams9200]

I bet they are little $h!TZ too and you low key hate them!

[@Umtree]

12 years in. It NEVER gets better. Can’t escape because of kids. It’s a sad existence. Run if you still can RUN !!!!!!

[@mentlinc]

I'm 12 years in too. She is not a terrible narcisisst but it's enough to steal my joy from time to time. Not sure if she loves me or loves possessing me. Hot or cold depending on the day.

[@daynauth]

Agreed.

[@snozzybosch7503]

Im in the same boat mate over in australia. I have one child who is now 14. Ive had to walk away from both the mother and the daughter. Not for me, she was using the child to get to me, and causing the child stress. I know now i will never speak to my ex or have another interaction with her as long as i live.

[@karoljarek5099]

I guess there is certain level of absurd and toxic environmment where ptotecting kids being out of relationship gets better than in it. Think, then strongly prepare if you go this way...

[@user-gd6zz9xj7t]

The kids are watching man. They're learning about how to act in personal relationships. You don't want them to make the same sacrifices for their kids do you? They're very perceptive. I often tell people that a npd can never be happy but a codependent can heal. Kids deserve at least one healthy and truly happy parent. Leave.

[@Shxrpnesss]

The "sex-bombing" was so real. It was definitely a weapon she used against me. If we did a lot, she'd accuse me of using her or say that was all I wanted out of the relationship. If I abstained then I'd be shamed, emasculated, and she'd accuse me that I didn't want her anymore. I was in a "damned if you do, damned if you don't situation." Amidst and after all of the abuse ramped up, I would react emotionally and experience reactive abuse. Then it was pretty easy for her to recruit flying monkeys and create a smear campaign on me by painting me as the "toxic, abusive" man and acting as the sweet innocent girl. These people are truly insidious.

[@robertwerner683]

This is exactly what happened to me!!! I was losing my mind... I forgot who I was... I almost could live with myself it was very close for me. It was a very scary time in my life. Every single thing I did was wrong! No matter what it was... I wasn't sleeping or eating. I even had a head on collusion and totalled and car on the way to work. I broke the windshield with my head!!! She told me that was stressful for her!!! We went to therapy separately and the once together. As soon as the therapist said something she didnt like she shut down and never went back to him. After all that she went on a smear campaign to anyone that would listen friends, family, neighbors it didn't matter. Got an apartment in less then 2 weeks took of the 30k dollar diamond never to be seen again. I had so much self hate and disappointment all because she was un happy. Now she is out partying and still giving me hell for taking care and doing things with my 5 year old son... This all kinda came in waves after birth and postpartum... ever year to year and a half this would happen. Now it insane! I wasn't sure if this was a midlife crisis (she is 36) or if this was some type of disorder???

[@charlieskinner6980]

My God man, that was a carbon copy of my marriage

[@Shxrpnesss]

@@charlieskinner6980 it’s crazy to me how so many of our experiences are like exactly the same… its like all the narcs are identical clones.

[@relaxingsounds1386]

Yep.

[@ignitionrod]

That is me you've just described in a nutshell. My case is amazing because she tried recruiting every acquaintance to do her bidding.

[@demiurgiac]

At 80 years old I don't normally engage (or click on) this sort of thing anymore. Like so many other comments here... you exactly described my ex-wife and myself during that 7 year relationship. Wow. After it failed, I lived alone for a few years, then, older and wiser, hooked up with a woman who was/is the almost exact opposite of her. (How could I have been so lucky). We have been together for 40+ years now. I have always called her the "most unromantic, romantic woman I have ever met" (I hope that makes sense). After watching this video alone, I re-watched with my wife, followed by a great conversion about it. Thank you!

[@OnderHassan]

Thank you sir. At half your age (40 in a few months) I pray that I can be as lucky with an amazing woman that I can get to spend the rest of my life with. God bless.

[@helbeze770]

36 years old. Married a bombshell crazy narcissist at 19 divorced at 21. When we were dating in high school I met her neighbor who was the exact opposite . Quiet smart beautiful and highly intelligent. Through a lovely twist of events we got together in 2010.

[@helbeze770]

I hope our story lasts as long as yours. Thank you.

[@Chuncy566]

Congratulations thats very very rare

[@maboswel]

I lost 40 years to a narcissist. Narcissism in my case may be the least of the issues.

[@IkamiLog]

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[@Jennifer-bw7ku]

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

[@patriaciasmith3499]

I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

[@Jennifer-bw7ku]

Is he on instagram?

[@morseemily]

Yes he is. dr.sporessss

[@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU]

Microdosing helped me get out of the pit of my worst depressive episode, a three year long episode, enough to start working on my mental health.

[@roadrunner9622]

When you're IN this kind of relationship, you feel like "this is just the way things are." Then someday when you're with a mentally healthy partner, you can see how wrong and abusive it all was.

[@simontmn]

My mum always told me that all families were like ours. Maybe she even believed it.

[@mikaellindqvist5599]

Im to old for the second part... and way to broken... glad you found out atleast. ❤

[@Pretency]

Exactly this.

[@roadrunner9622]

​@@mikaellindqvist5599My MIL just met someone and got married at 77 yrs old.

[@thewanderer6637]

​@@mikaellindqvist5599Me too. Been here for 37 years. Trapped by circumstances. Children first, now grandchildren.. 😢😢😢😢

[@silvalinan4077]

The “abusive ex-boyfriend” who “also did that” is a frequent and effective tactic of hers.

[@redfalcon3721]

Yeah I heard that a lot. "You're just like him".

[@patrickcash2144]

Again OMG YES ! " He was an Narcissist" she would say

[@chilicheesefries1133]

Good point, in my case it was a whole lifetime starting with grandpa. Believable at the time. They get sympathy/love, trust, and a promise to be different to protect her.

[@HondaWill]

He used to beat me and cheat on me, this made her really hurt. He pushed himself on her, she didn't love him and wouldn't stay with him. 6 years later, she loved him and was happy and would have stayed if the police and social services would take the kids if they stayed in a relationship. That told me im not in fact the love of her life or the only person she's ever wanted to marry. The abuse is like nothing I've known. I've been around, served as infantry soldier in Northern Ireland and this narcissist abuse is the worst thing that's ever happened to me. Pure evil. I hope karma is real.

[@NightmareSolider]

The abusive ex boyfriend she never stops talking to even though he forced her to do all kinds of terrible things

[@nugzila4170]

Both my parents are narcissists. Took me 28 years to stand up for myself. Run.

[@LindoMkhize-kk9hl]

The best thing a narcissist can do for you is discarding you, but you're too busy questioning where you went wrong to realise your life has been spared. Now that I have a better understanding of what narcissism is, I feel so happy that my ex lost interest in me.

[@randomcomputer7248]

me too ! I was dumped for a taller and better looking guy. Didn't end well for him, he was a wreck after 2 years with her, his gym maxed physique turned into over weight and tired looking. They were engaged after 6months and were trying for a baby. I've seen her in town and she still tries to hoover me back in. Thank god for people like HG making me see what she was. I knew something wasn't right, but didn't think it wouldnt be unfixable. That's how they get you, you think with "love" and all the trimmings, it will make it work.

[@Mishra1501]

exactly I was like why me??you know "where is that sweet sexy Godess??" why she left all of a sudden ....I knew/realised she was toxic ,but due to loneliness/misery I felt like going back, its almost an year and I'm still recovering (god what an impact she had ofc my relationship lasted 4 years so it will take time) ,this video made my way clear and opened my eyes plus thanks for your comment buddy cuz right now I feel blessed cuz that demon spared me , its actually a gift.!!!!

[@Champman543]

​@randomcomputer7248 i had a relationship for 7 years. I wasn't the same after it, physically and mentally. I looked like a sad skeleton with no self-worth and confidence. In recovery mode right now...

[@randomcomputer7248]

@@Champman543 You cant understate how dangerous these people are. She admitted to once she had a dream where I was going to throw myself off a bridge etc. She would have loved it if I had done that over her. These people are evil and non human, they are anti human. She may not stab someone to death, but they kill you psychologically. They are a kind of vampire and feed of your very lifeforce. This stuff should be taught in schools. People need to be VERY careful of who they partner up with.

[@ronniestring182]

Me too. I'm free now and its fantastic

[@RealCoachLee]

If you ever notice that you are doing things for her that you can't imagine her doing for you...walk away. Even if she isn't a clinical narcissist, she is a society-made narcissist and it doesn't really matter what diagnosis they have - if she acts like a narc, you want to get as far away as possible.

[@CynicalBastard]

Says the narc.

[@CynicalBastard]

@@RobertWhite1 Yes, you are self-interested.

[@AlkzandrDenmanm1_x]

exactly, Coach Lee!

[@Motsai778]

Only issue is not everyone knows how to get out.

[@brendanrichart4804]

I live in Orange County, CA - this should be required listening for men before they decide to live here!!!

[@abidnessman]

I have a strategy for a narcissist. Avoid all relationships.

[@MbraceTheRandom]

That's kinda where I'm at right now... it's been a year and I'm still recovering. It doesn't help that I see her every day at work.

[@devinaxtman6171]

My wife of 6 years just left me. I suspected she could be one, but now I am investigating, its opening my eyes. She was always gaslighting me if I called her out on poor behavior. She would then circle back the blame on me, for me getting upset at her. She would have outbursts. Like hot and cold. One moment she is great, the next you are the worst ever, arguing and makes you feel like the worst human. Always playing victim. Bringing you back to beg to make things normal again. The last year I began to shut down, became depressed, stopped caring, and respecting her. Felt she didn't deserve my love and respect anymore. It was a dark time in my life, and wish I would have stayed strong. I pulled away as you said. She hated my family, and was jealous or acted like she didn't care if I talked about anyone from work etc. At the end there was a lot of threatening to leave. It was always about her happiness and it was supposed to be up to me to fix it. Especially the finances, which she drove us into debt, and then claimed I was the one who needed to fix it. She even blamed me for being mentally abusive for fighting about finances, our future, and her poor behaviors. I will admit, after I gave up, I was a nasty person to her. I will take ownership for that, but so was she. She just chipped away over and over until I became this shell. They will grind you down till you have nothing left. Now we are divorcing and have to co parent. Her idea of parenting is buying him things, not spending time with him. Very shallow. My advice to anyone reading this, is if you see these signs, get out now and protect your heart. I gave it everything, until my emotional level was at zero. They will suck your happiness dry like a leech. Do not let them destroy your inner love and compassion. I became a shell of my former self. Do not let them take you there, because they will, its GUARANTEED!

[@abims4real]

It sounds like we got married to the same person. Fortunately I'm out and just in time with no kids. I wish there was some kind of way we could interact and share our experiences

[@tagalapaz2697]

I suffer the same fate... I am Filipino but there is no divorce here in the Philippines and she's attacking all the people who is around that cares about me. Including our kids..

[@DeathOrGlory83]

I had a very similar experience

[@Michael-mh1gb]

I did a 18 year bit you described it to the tee. Because she was not the problem it's your reaction to their actions making you the problem. Gaslighting is severe emotional and mental abuse. It turned me into a raging psychotic lunatic. I mean she knew what buttons too push that I exploded like a hand grenade. I think after 18 years I became very dangerous even homicidal and when I went off in front of other people I would put the fear of God in them they would tell my eyes would turn black that like a demonic entity possessed me Currently I have a support dog Jack my shrink told me I have PTSD That I would have been better off living through 4 tours in Vietnam. He has me on Diazepam and Lorazepam. I go in and out of reality and still talk to myself but I don't hear voices anymore more but hear sounds that are not there ,people think I'm having a intellectual conversation with my dog. The Term Gaslighting was derived from a 1938 British play Gaslight , in 1944 an American movie adaptation Gaslight, where a husband tries to make his wife think she is losing her mind. Guess what it worked I literally lost it. 4 drug and Alcohol rehabs , 4 Mental institutions in and out of jail for almost 9 years l was one of those inmates why people we're afraid to go to jail. I had no idea that I scared people, they would think or tell me that I was one crazy or scary person. I am a survivor of verbal, emotional, mental, and physical abuse, that had a residual effect on me that my shrink says I probably won't ever recover from. I am at peace with myself I have my dog Jack. Because I am incapable of having a normal relationship be it intimate or friendship it's a Fuckin Hard to Walk that straight line of normal line of reality!!!

[@roshenwa]

My situation is exact word for word . 3 yr old daughter. I have no emotion left I don't feel bad nor good I have no more feelings. I m about to file divorce and custody and it is hard step for me but never ever I felt so dull about it before.

[@spuiwu-js]

A covert narcissist may respond in a variety of ways when discovered, depending on the particular circumstance and the person. When their behavior is criticized, a covert narcissist may occasionally become aggressive or defensive and reject or abdicate responsibility for their actions. They might try to gaslight the person who exposed them by getting them to doubt their own sense of truth or perspective. Narcissists frequently employ this strategy to keep control of the relationship. In other situations, a covert narcissist could act more violently or aggressively in an effort to retake control or establish dominance. They could try to control or intimidate the person who has exposed them, or they might lash out with abusive language or actions. A covert narcissist may also retreat or isolate themselves if their actual nature is discovered. They might make an effort to separate themselves from the person who exposed them or try to avoid any sort of conflict. Being masters of manipulation, narcissistic people frequently possess a special ability for charm, which allows them to get away with manipulating others. They might be able to beguile people into believing they are not actually narcissists and convince them that they are to blame. The process of exposing a covert narcissist may be extremely taxing and even dangerous, so it’s vital to keep that in mind. It’s crucial to exercise prudence and have a solid support network in place, including friends, family, and a therapist. You can process your experience and develop a strategy for dealing with the circumstance in a secure and healthy manner with the aid of a therapist or counselor. Additionally I hired a private detective Barryinvestigation@gmail. com. Once I knew what the narc was up to, it got easier to get over that lying, cheating, sack of doo doo, loser. I didn’t need closure from the narc, I paid for it. Best money I EVER spent!

[@carvercapitalequitypartner122]

The Victory of Freedom.

[@MrElliptific]

My rule of thumb in relationships is that if you don't feel good about yourself in the relationship or if the person doesn't make you feel good about yourself then you need to step out. That's really the make or break test.

[@jeffsutherland141]

That's great advice

[@aurelienyonrac]

That's what she said "make me feel good, dame it"

[@greghenderson8745]

When I was in college and before I even heard of such a thing as " cluster B," a gf told me it was better to have people who bring you up and make you feel good about yourself, instead of having people who just bring you down, like her sister and her boyfriend over there. Idk how it turned out for the sister but I thought it was a wonderful concept and believed in it, even though, I still became ensnared with a person whom I had admired from afar for twenty years. I was with her for 15 miserable years before I learned about narcissism. After serving me well for many years, I forgot all about that good advice, which I had used as a rule of thumb, and got swept off my feet. Well, I'm alone now and with much better company. I have no doubt that if given the chance, and I were to break " no contact," I would fall prey to the trauma bond. What a fine kettle of fish.

[@flymakena]

Yes, exactly,it's that simple.

[@DanDeLeoninthefield]

How you feel about yourself ought not to be influenced or determined by the actions of others.

[@robertdemeter5793]

Of course they constantly act as the "victim" and constantly claim you're the villain. Because "You are only rebellious in the eyes of those who can't manipulate or control you."

[@Tigerdreama.]

I’ve been around so many narc women it never ends i alwasy ended up with them or was involved with them ! Dream world sucks !

[@robertdemeter5793]

@@Tigerdreama. You must come to the realization that none of it was personal....Narcs don’t know how to love; they can’t afford to spare the energy to learn, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing - they can’t feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissists value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. Loads of them brag about being a good parent and seek compliments for that only to hide their masks. When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing....They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves.. When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal.... They’re too terrified to have close personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain. This is not personal. None of it.... The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection. . .

[@robertdemeter5793]

@@Tigerdreama. To continue, If you think they..are the one that ' made' you feel then you are still under their control, you're still wrapped up in their neverending inner delusions/dar-k-ness, and you learned nothing. The truth is, you were loving YOURSELF the entire time you were interacting with them as they were doing nothing more than mirroring you at the start, there is nobody inside them in the first place, therefore there was nobody for you to love but yourself...(as they themselves are incapable of true empathy/love). .. Stating that they made you feel is like saying a robot made you feel, or an empty soda can made you feel. And in the same way it's completely ridiculous to think a Narc made you feel anything...As they were doing nothing more than mirroring you in the beginning...Based on a lie and you cannot truly feel for lies. They are completely incapable of processing their emotions, they don't know how to. And that is why when you state that you love them they greatly resent it, they turn you into an enemy and play their games. Because inside they ask themselves- " how can you possibly love this ? ' Unless you get over these massive hurdles and understand the bigger picture of Universal spiritual truths in your relationships then you will never be the truly empathic powerful loving spirit being you truly are to love the world/heal the world. .. Much love !

[@robertdemeter5793]

@@Tigerdreama. To absolutely des-troy a Narc with EASE, All anyone has to do is lookup - 'Gaddis The Ayahuasca Wave', and have them read that whole page over and over again.. There is nothing they can say or do after that., And their BS is out of your beautiful life forever !.... ;)

[@JreamNova]

I never ever thought I’d heal after 2 years of grieving, now I’m healed! She’s crazy and disgusting too

[@kmm62627]

Any man or woman who has endured a relationship with a narcissist and managed to leave and NEVER go back has my hearfelt applause. Always co sider whzt you expect from a relationship and have your bottom line. Anyone who falls below that line shows that the relationship needs to be ended. I have to say, as a woman, I feel sorry for men - a lot of women feel so entitled these days and treat men as servants - where did they learn that was ok? If you are in a relationship you should respect one another and ensure the balance is equal. Good luck to you all in finding a decent partner.

[@valley_robot]

Thank you kind sister, have a lovely day

[@pooptricks7906]

The media teaches girls everything, staring at their phones all day

[@SaMee-un9ji]

After 15 years of abuse and fear

[@WeebRemover4500]

im at my last relationship, it seems ive had nothing but narcs in all my relationships. ive had over 30 relationships ive had suspicions. from these comments it seems that theres just no way around it. my time is up. this world is evil

[@kmm62627]

@@WeebRemover4500 the only way is to leave but don't tell them

[@deathculture8203]

This video, along with many others, has opened my eyes. I left a relationship of 5 1/2 years just last month. I left by packing my car and leaving our home while she was at work to drive to another state. In this time, I've discussed the relationship in detail to many friends and family and realized who she really is. I was under everything you've explained in this video and in just a few weeks I've never felt so alive and free. This has helped me in my path to healing, thank you.

[@Warfizzle08]

I literally did the same thing yesterday. Waited until she left for work and my parents came over with a trailer.

[@kmm62627]

@@Warfizzle08 God bless you - the healing will begin - thank your supportive parents. Now you know what bad relationships look like you can always look forward and seek out only good relationships- good luck to you in your future.

[@kmm62627]

Many you continue to feel alive and free. A good relationship should maintain a healthy balance and make you both feel happy. Good luck in your future

[@Axteffekt]

I am happy for you brother! More power to you!

[@deathculture8203]

@Axteffekt @warfizzle08 I appreciate all the support here. Since then, I've got my own place with a new job and life is absolutely amazing. I will say it's been over a month and I lose sleep a lot of nights cause I dream about her often. Only, were fighting in all the dreams but im saying all the things I wish I said when it was real. Guess it's healing in that way. I'm glad you e got your parents support. Update me or we can do a discord if you ever want to talk

[@Breauxmann]

“The only thing worse than being in an abusive relationship is being in an abusive relationship one more day” Just wow!

[@dallinorr6929]

That is a 👌🏼 one-liner.

[@foofighter5509]

I'm in one because she's holding the kids hostage...to divorce her would tie up the money I need to pay for my kids college as every cent she gets will be spent on her and her alone.

[@abdirahmanidris290]

​@@foofighter5509 defend yourself brother

[@lizanjau3]

This i agree ...waoh just waoh..people are toxic out here...Jesus Christ

[@lizanjau3]

@@foofighter5509 fight for your kids but do not leave yourself behind!All the best

[@jonnybofficial]

I spent several years dating a female like this. I never thought I would be that guy. I always thought I would know if someone was deceiving me and would be able to walk away if she did. Be careful fellas. This stuff is absolutely real. I’m still in the process of recovering from it and working on myself to one day be ready for a healthy relationship. Thank you for this video, very well done.

[@Pajune]

Exactly! It's absolutely insane how can someone with high awareness (self proclaimed) still be played like a fokken broken banjo.. Got the same shit, but was lucky it didn't last for too long. For me It's been two years, but still recovering. No way I'm getting into relationship especially now that I have grown even more aware, and can sense even better the instability in the people around me.

[@Ryno-fp7pm]

I broke up with a girl this past October but was only with her 16 months. She mistook me being "nice" for being able to manipulate me. I started seeing the red flags early but I used her "boo hoo I'm always a victim" stories to feel empathy. If she wasn't a total smoke show and didn't legitimately like a lot of the same stuff (crossfit, guns, hiking, etc), I would have dumped her a lot sooner. I fell for a mirage. The hurt doesn't go away. I still get anxiety on dates. I still have thought of "well maybe if I did this, it would have worked out." No. If I would have layed down, then I would have been hurt even more if/when she decided it was time to replace me. Hope you are recovering.

[@oscarrivas7240]

You’re not alone man. It’s gets better over time. Also, don’t be afraid to get therapy. I know you may think you don’t need it or that you can do it in your own, but for real it helps give you the tools and understanding to fight the battle. It helped me.

[@BurniStrange]

​@@Pajune played like a vokken broken banjo... Bro that hit me so good hahahaha sy het my gespeel soos n gebreekte vokken banjo.

[@benevans3811]

Yeah bro same thing. I always felt I'd recognize but I didn't and 14yrs later I've started the very difficult healing process...it's been a long hard road and still have a long ways to go. I was sooo good to her and it was never enough nothing ever made her happy. All she did is persecute me for being me, she'd accuse me day and night of filth, she demanded constant attention and admiration and gave me none. Once I realized what was actually going on I could stop blaming myself. For years I told myself it's my fault I just need to change but in reality I was a wonderful man and I loved her completely and faithfully. Now I have to learn to love myself, I've never been so broken in my life and she could care less all that matters to her is how ppl view her....how could she do this to me I'll never know the worst part is is that I've been slipping away from my 2 sons 11yr and 8yr the wounds are still so fresh I can't breath yet. I hope one day when I am healed and delivered I can help other men through this very painful process and better yet teach men how to recognize the signs and act on courage and get out before the damage is done. I feel like I've been so abused that women can see right through me and think to themselves he's just another single dad full of wounds and scars. I'm 37yrs old never thought it was possible that I'd be so broken the thought never even occurred to me it was possible. Father in heaven forgive me Peace n blessings

[@ChapMeifan]

I almost fell into this trap twice with the same manipulator. We split for good in December and she told me I had destroyed her and she would never trust again and never live with someone again. Despite saving her home and kids and destroying my health I was the villain. March 12 she announced she’s in a new relationship to a new guy and she’s presenting the same goddess and sexually vibrant and fun personality that lured me in and who vanished the minute I became her protector and savior. I think I’ve dodged a bullet.

[@Champman543]

Happy for you, bro. I was in a relationship with one for 7 years, even engaged. She broke me physically and mentally almost. Broke up with me and started dating a dude 2 weeks after. Of course, she had to tell me because it would make it "easier" for me to ler go.. She said she had no time to grieve and just wanted to be happy and beeing loved/in love. And she was only emotionally dependent and never in love with me... Well, i suppose i dodged a bullet, too.

[@grand-georgeproductions3857]

🥺😢💔👌💯It's crazy because there's a lot of good men out here going through those relationships with narcissistic women. Very sad 🥺😢💔👌💯

[@TerenceTreeLowery808]

My adult daughter told me, "Dad, get the hell out of there!" A short time later the lady had me arrested for allegedly viscously beating her. A year later after numerous court appearances and a complete loss of face in my community, my attorney pulls a piece of paper from his pocket. It was a doctors report ascribed on the day of the event. Not a mark or a bruise on the women's body. After a very brief deliberation the jury came back with a "Not Guilty" verdict. To wit the lady left town the next day and was never heard from again. Now that's a "Happy ending..."

[@scottpreston5074]

Be sure to laugh at her as she is going. It is a better punishment than any beating she would have made up about you.

[@PartyMusic775]

The next guy doesn't know what's coming ...

[@squeakygiant]

That was a very hard path to journey down, but you survived! The example you set for your daughters was invaluable, hopefully they will see that and choose partners who have similar honour and strength of character as yourself. Children, even adult children, internalize the example we set.

[@sarrjel]

😳

[@greghenderson8745]

Yes! Finally some just deserts for one of theirs. Now that's something you don't see every day.

[@tomblah]

Dealing with a covert narcissistic partner or mother is far scarier / horrific than any horror movie

[@julienleischke]

Double points for having both in your life😂

[@pastexpiration2160]

Hey I’m going for the high score, apparently

[@VisionaryPro-um1gj]

Absolutely agreed. You can fight a full grown lion, you can fight a grizzly or you can even dare to fight UFC fighter but dealing with crazy controlling women is most difficult and challenging. They're like slow poison, daily small dosages of toxic venom kills your existence on daily basis.

[@nathanielracine]

I recently stopped talking to my mother, realizing now at 30 what a number she did on me

[@alec4623]

I have one who hasn't worked for 6 years. She lives with her mom and is a new mother. I'm ready to give up.

[@rtm8575]

I’m six years divorced from a female narcissist. The break-up was hard but after a few months I found I was happy again. I now live a much happier life free from guilt. I’ve traveled the world, remodeled my house and enjoy my life without her. Thank you for this. It was reassuring.

[@marknorris1381]

Eleven years for me. Best decision I ever made.

[@martinbutler7980]

Omg ... you've summarised 30 years of my life in just over 11 minutes! Thankfully, several years ago I confided in someone who suggested I read up on NPD and coercive control. Once I understood that I wasn't a solitary victim her 'power' dissipated and mine strengthened, as I suddenly got the courage up to walk away! Having no regrets and no animosity has enabled me to move onwards and upwards and enjoy life again! ... this video serves as a reinforcement for me! Thank you Lise 🙏

[@authenticjason5394]

Sad

[@brg2743]

These narcissists are evil. Leave when it is safe. It never improves. Don't take their abuse.

[@robbrewer2036]

Kick their sorry arses out the door.

[@StsFiveOneLima]

I don't think that they do this consciously, nor that they often objectively analyze their own behaviors. Therefore, not, strictly speaking, 'evil'. But you are right: It never improves.

[@mulemule]

"It *never* improves." THIS

[@Reignor99]

Very important to "Leave when it is safe". These narcissists will lie to the police to get revenge on you. Leave calmly and quietly, DO NOT get in an argument about it.

[@raybod1775]

Narcissists know what do, my brother is one and occasionally lets things slip out.

[@mggoose2000]

You just described my relationship with one of the most evil women I’ve ever known. I swear, she was your case study for this video. Fortunately, I’ve escaped from this insane woman!

[@AlexanderNixonArtHistory]

you dated my ex-wife too? :D

[@ReyGaljour]

Hey wait a minute... did we all marry the same woman?

[@robt3407]

I was wondering how quickly Amber's name gets brought up.

[@deneisachang8675]

I know the way ! I used to work for one. Awful, despicable woman !!

[@brianreed8271]

Girl must have been busy cuz I was married to her for 14 years

[@hajj623]

Wow. This was so accurate that it actually scared me. This is EXACTLY what happened to me. I just filed for a second restraining order against my wife of 13 years. Currently seeking to end our marriage. Looking for a good lawyer. Unfortunately, we have 3 children in common. What a nightmare! Thank you.

[@stanislavjohn6156]

so after you left or ended the relationship i guess this woman would not leave you alone?

[@notyouraveragejohn69]

"There is no happy ending" i love that she said this. You cant change a narcissist so you either leave or have an awful go of it.

[@jimp9151]

I once heard my therapist say that expecting a narc to change is like trying to change a tiger into a kitten by petting it.

[@bluetopguitar1104]

I'm trying to convince a friend of this. A life of misery is not worth it.

[@notyouraveragejohn69]

@@bluetopguitar1104 im that person but not in a position to leave. Power to you for being a guiding light for your friend!

[@itismadalin]

I was strong enough to finally leave my ex, but we have a 3-year old daughter, I can't leave my ex completely unfortunately...now my concern is for how my daughter will be affected by my ex's traits...

[@SFGDCORP]

Same here! I have 2 sons ( 2yo & 4yo) and we all live together. My depression from all of this has caused me to miss a lot of financial opportunities leaving to seek and settle for non-stressful manual labor jobs in order to make ends meet. I'm secretly planning my exit by putting up w/her behavior and stashing money so I can get in position to buy a house for me and my boys. I have no other options so this is the only way out for me 😔@@itismadalin

[@YouD0ntSay]

As men, we are programmed to protect and cherish girls, try to impress, be always courteous and nice, and some of us genuinely think it is our role in life to make a woman happy. If she reacts hurt, you automatically think you didn't do the right thing. Men, it's not your job to make her happy. She has every right to find happiness, but if it isn't with you, she is free to go. Don't try to change who you are for her. She'll hate you for it. Stay strong. Stay men.

[@nellsun2521]

They use our chivalry against us. Yes men are protective over women in the same way women are protective over children. It's a terrible character trait that I seem to have luckily escaped from all my life thus far.

[@YouD0ntSay]

@@nellsun2521 Exactly. You can be courteous and practice chivalry, but on your terms. And not for a woman who nags or complains, takes it for granted, and doesn't give anything in return. You have to be in a position to be able to walk away. Then it works.

[@Mikexception]

we may just pick another. . But when man is picky and such lady makes impression that she would be the one, then it seems situation she and noone around . Narcist prove that being alone is happy option

[@sikiescordova1826]

Tell that to police that are there number one endless narc supply.

[@richardpayne2625]

It has taken me many years to learn you can't make them happy it has to come from within. Still it seems many men are taken advantage of and not appreciated. I am not saying many men can't be shits but, good guy tend to finish last in dating etc. It also appears to me that women want us to entertain them, I am not here to entertain anyone.

[@onlyalifetime]

I broke up a few hours ago from one. This video is so incredibly accurate regarding how she acts, but also how I was/am feeling. I have to say that I noticed a red flag, which I ignored. I had a constant feeling of her being fake, but I thought it was me trying to self-sabotage a too good to be true relationship.

[@modernrustics5069]

My name is PHIL. I’ve been through this twice now. Alone feels pretty good these days.

[@johnnyvo9313]

Once you know you're in a relationship with a female narcissist and you watch a few videos like this about their behaviors. You realize how one dimensional they are. It's surface with them there's really nothing to them besides these horrible characteristics. It breaks your heart to know that there is no future with them like you thought in the beginning. Again, it is uncanny how predictable they become, it's like their all reading the same narc Manuel.

[@teacherpet-vw2km]

Crazy that crazy

[@AbeusMaximus]

Narc Manuel sounds like the title to an undercover cop show!

[@bobhi2668]

Because very simple tricks work ridiculously easily for them as women. They have never needed another weapon in life.

[@viewsONTRENDING]

I was once in a relationship with an evil women, I went from a mentally strong independent man to an emotionally abused mentally weakened version of myself.

[@marsisacrazypandarivera9028]

Exactly. People don’t talk about how you start out strong and independent! I swear! I am a female, and had male narcs take me at my highest. It’s because they work on breaking you down slowly and over time. People just say, “you didn’t see the red flags?” But, how when they don’t start off in the red flags? It starts off by them keeping you at your highest, and building you up higher, and once they have you right where they want you, they slowly take you apart. And it happens so fast, yet so slow. You don’t notice it until they discard you, or you’re so frustrated and ran down. Good comment!

[@creekhunter]

Even after my divorce I tell people im suffering from PTSD from what I endured.

[@jk-kr8jt]

Really? That's actually a thing? I would have never known.

[@PaulTheFranklin]

@@creekhunter you are.

[@slay2525]

gaslighting is a mfer.

[@LeeEverett1]

"Please don't hurt me, I've been through so much already" She told me this before ghosting and blocking me, and immediately downloading dating apps. This was soon after I told her to never ghost or cheat on me and to communicate if she ever wants to leave, which she promised she would do so.

[@eddiespaghetto8423]

I struggled for years and was so confused. My life went downhill and I was in constant depression. This video opened my eyes and gave me clarity. I think this saved my life 😭

[@spaghettiwestend]

Spot on.The most hurtful and devastating experience in my life. When you realise none of it was real love, it kills you.

[@jamesgrimwood8658]

Yep I hear you

[@Sabretooth-gz7pp]

Been there Chewie 😁

[@StooBloke]

The very worst lie a narcissist will ever tell you: "I love you".

[@raydiaz2772]

Yup and the degrade and verbally disrespect you at your lowest how could someone who's your "soul mate" be okay calling you "faggot bitch"

[@TekkenOnlineFights]

Once my GF had sex with me she said I love you but I think its just of the feeeling there not of my real personality. I think she liked more my looks then me.

[@horacesilver5238]

I was in a relationship like this about 7 months. you're right, I was lucky, I got discarded. Had my first panic attack ever, in the middle of the night...sleeping nect ot her...no idea why. Residual panic attacks afterwards. Worked on myself a TON. Now I can spot women like this from a mile away...and instead of being drawn to them...I find them repulsive

[@earthwatcher2012]

I had the *exact* same thing happen to me brother. EXACTLY. I woke up at 1a and felt like the room was extremely darker than it usually is, i felt profoundly alone and seized with an irrational fear. And i had never had a panic attack before being with this woman. The good thing is that we’re now free…

[@johnborelli2711]

Dude,same here on panic attacks The body takes over I’m guessing

[@pepelopez6930]

Yep panic attacks, your primary survival instinct kicking in.

[@jmc6185]

It wasn't my first panic attack, but I remember just laying next to her crying uncontrollably in the night; praying to God to just kill me in my sleep. It's been 2 years since she discarded me after a 4 year nightmare. I am completely terrified of all intimacy now. Finding solace in men's support groups, but still completely lost identity wise.

[@oscarrivas7240]

Dude same!! The first panic attack happened as we were getting off a plane to visit my mom and family, it was the most terrible thing. I had to completely put on a mask and pretend everything was fine as we met my mom in the airport. And yeah, a lot of therapy after that. I’m finally feeling like a whole person again and I’m in such a better place.

[@jonqualey2204]

Wow ! Right down the middle. This happended to me 16 years ago. I finally broke free, but she almost destroyed me. We never spoke again afterwards.

[@brucelawson642]

This happened to me four years ago. I found out that she was seeing many men. She was in control. I actually moved to a smaller town and jumped off FB and changed my phone number. It worked, and I have peace of mind. I learned allot😊

[@QuinnPrice]

Can confirm. I was shocked the first time she used a vulnerable moment against me. It's all about control.

[@SmithWhite-pf9kq]

Any vulnerability IT can get it's hands on will suffice.

[@raydiaz2772]

Especially your own child if you're a man.

[@SergioGarcia-qn3zq]

Notice how you said the first time. Maybe the second , third … it was shocking until it wasn’t …. It was now common . The inner feeling of betrayal is still there though… but there so much paint layers over it …. Almost is like frozen….

[@SmithWhite-pf9kq]

@@SergioGarcia-qn3zq like an animal in captivity, after a while its all you know and it becomes normal. Freedom becomes the unknown and scary option while captivity is the familiar, safe choice

[@JulioMartinez-be8lx]

I can relate as well I know what you mean …. I applied no contact…and told her it was the best choice for me…then she appears at my house two days later… then we went at it again..then one night she looks at me and says…. “I don’t know about this… but I’m just going wing it..” .. I paused … and said to myself… she will be ghosting me again … two months passed… the all of the sudden… a message … “ I hope you are doing well in life… since I haven’t heard from you I realized and respected what you once said about what is better for your health. I’ll always remember you..hugs”… I was like wait what… so the fact that you haven’t heard from me was of what I said …??… is shifting the blame and taking no accountability…

[@chrissmall1246]

I had everything. A beautiful home, nice vehicles, lived in paradise, 2 beautiful children, a great job and respect in the workplace. The longer the relationship went on the harder I found it to feel happy. At the end I was forcing myself to smile when I knew I was acting. I didn't understand what was wrong with me. Now I understand completely. The partner I have now sings often while doing chores, gardening or working on the farm. She is silly and jokes around and laughs at herself often. What a journey, what a life lesson...it will never leave me and I am thankful for such an important lesson. The problem with young men is our sex drive navigates our needs and wants...this is the narcissists black magic that we cannot see. She did not joke around much, we did not laugh and smile together very much but she sure was fantastic in bed, the best sex I ever experienced. Shallow and worthless. Find yourself first so you may see others more clearly. Life is a journey, if you are not smiling and laughing while moving through life then there is definitely something wrong...is it you? It does have something to do with you, figure it out, it really makes a big difference in your ability to find happiness. Good luck to you all who are traveling this road, it can be long and very difficult. Nothing of great value in life comes easily, that is why it is so valuable and the search begins with you.

[@RicardoMartinez-oh9sq]

You learned your lesson, but sometimes men who have attachment problems cannot learn and next they fall again for a covert narcissist.

[@hbo_i_7353]

Thank you man. Your message is like shining light against darkness, wise words...

[@gofkurself]

​@user-mu5mi4mq9z bro you don't need a woman. You just need a friend sometimes. I love being alone. Can't stand having to split everything I do.

[@chrissmall1246]

@@gofkurself Ha ha. Of course I don't need a woman. I want a woman. I am a generous person who enjoys to share. Life is about giving dude. Not receiving. Some just don't get it but that's ok too. Enjoy your life alone keeping everything for yourself. I choose companionship. Always have, always will. I am very happy in life at this time unlike your email handle suggests but we all make our own choices, I was just describing the life lesson I received from the pretty narc. Cheers.

[@gofkurself]

@chrissmall1246 I see why the woman dogged you out. Your judgemental and when someone is being nice to you you take offense to it. How does a joke email handle equate to you knowing about who I am as a person weirdo? Secondly I don't keep everything to myself you don't know what I do as a career. I see why I'm happy alone and your miserable. Their is absolutely nothing wrong with people who live a life of solitude. Their are millions of people who prefer to be alone. In your eyes that makes them greedy? Nah your just a sucker

[@kamalelhaidoudi1179]

Thank you ,you have described exactly my case.afrer 8 years of manipulation I woke up , but unfortunately with 2 kids whose I love so much. She was smart and found out that the only thing to do to destroy me is to let me without them she moved them to another country . I suffered a lot , but at the same time I feel free

[@princhipessa1969]

This is the entire layout of my relationship! I told her I’d always protect her from anyone. She said she felt so safe with me. Spot on.

[@arinh24]

I spent 27 years in a relationship with a female covert narcissist. Just getting out now. This video is like someone telling my story.

[@dhananjaywithme]

I cant imagine what you must be going through, sending my prayers!

[@rainwarrior7066]

Stay strong and focused. God speed, not hers. 💯

[@TangoDeltaSix]

Same here

[@xXBlueHellFireXx]

6 years 3 days ago. Got together at 19, left at 24. Lying and cheating the whole time. Every good memory was a shiny costume over her evil.

[@RicardoMartinez-oh9sq]

Using Carl G. Jung, perhaps one of your dominant archetypes might be the Victim. Congratulations for breaking free.

[@brendaleigh7834]

I was in a friendship with a female covert narcissist. I think they are more dangerous than the malignant or grandiose, as they hide their true intentions. I left that friendship, and she keeps trying to revive it.

[@GUITARTIME2024]

Block her. Seriously.

[@AV-kr6gc]

Me ex was a female covert. Explains why she had no friends

[@kendall8954]

I been their before.

[@Wythaneye]

Hugs. My wife went through the same thing with her insanely toxic "friend". I hope you've permanently blocked her and have begun to heal.

[@marknorris1381]

Yes. When I got married to my first wife she became another person that I didn't know almost straight away. We were both very young to get married and I should have left but didn't want to be divorced at such a young age and kept hanging in there. Big mistake, I wasted a huge chunk of my life with this person, who also had mental problems/issues that she hid. Don't waste time with these people. Your time is precious.

[@HellaKwik]

I had one of these chicks try running game on me. She was summarily dismissed in short order, but not before shutting down every control angle she tried to pull. She tried to hijack my apartment when I dumped her. I moved my stuff out, stored them and waited the three days for her to default on the rent. As soon as she was evicted, I paid the rent, moved back into my place. Successfully outsmarted her and got her out with zero drama.

[@PhilGrayrock]

The hardest part of moving on from the female covert narcissist is using it against you towards people in your life and trying to warn them as the whole process plays out…and usually works until it’s too late.

[@laze_dybo]

After a very messed up, but thankfully short, relationship with a narcissistic woman I find myself noticing a lot of these areas during the beginning stages of it. Thank you for this.

[@JohnSeklecki-wt8qz]

Me too. All the things she says were describing my life with her. It's like she was telling my story

[@user-lx9wm2ie7c]

Same here brother !!!

[@stephengaudette581]

My wife says she can and will do better. She even threatens me with this guy adam she met at work. She even told me that she asked Jayson from work if he had any single friends. She now is talking to guy behind my back. She blames me for cheating w her friend which I never did. I slept on her couch and honestly told my wife I slept on Amy's couch. It was our mutual friend and I never had those feelings for Amy. She offered her couch up to me because my wife kicked me out and threatened to call police on me, in my own home. I'm confused because for 2-3 days we have amazing sex and very sensual and romantic 2 days event and wife tells me she is afraid IL leave her but in reality she is talking about being single w this adam guy I've never met. Some Facebook guy she talks too. She belittled me and tells me adam is more then a man then IL ever be. I'm a glassblower of 22 yrs and have many talents but I sell my self short due to the n defaming of my character. I love her but I'm being accused of cheating w her best friend when I honestly didn't even go near Amy. I thinks it Othello because she never has a fraction of evidence of all these actions I supposedly do. Home daily and she knows my whereabouts. Is my wife saying I'm cheating while she is cheating in reality??

[@stephengaudette581]

She is labeled bipolar and pschizophrenic. If I go to the store 5 mins away.amd run into someone and chit chat , wife times me and IL talk 45 mins and she accuses me of cheating in the extra 8 mins unaccounted for. Talk about a meet, greet and sex high speed race. It just doesn't happen in warp speed. Usually only the Jabba can be pumped out in warpspeed but a sexcapade in a 9 min time frame is either a quick sex session or in reality stoned stating at candy isle for 20 mins.

[@zenithzain5812]

After dealing with one, you realise in real life, narcissists are not the lovable or redeemable assholes Hollywood makes them to be. They’re just straight up unpleasant😂

[@MA-nh2on]

OMG, when the PHIL part came on screen, the hairs on my neck stood up. My soon-to-be-ex who I am convinced is a covert narcissist routinely said that she loved me because I was a "hero" (I worked in national security) and that I protected her, made her feel safe and had a level of integrity she'd never experienced before. She literally used the PHIL model to explain her attraction to me. Everything else you're saying is dead-on as well. Man, I wish I'd known all this at the time...could have saved myself 15 years of drama and heartache.

[@neilsmith9220]

Same here. This video is chillingly accurate. It helps to know we're far from being alone in falling prey to these thoroughly evil creatures. If only we'd known at the time but at least Lise has helped us to fully understand what actually happened. All the best to you and I hope you are over it. Took me years to live it down.

[@michaelodonnell336]

B

[@xgetxsickx]

what did she do? I'd like to be prepared

[@GTGinley7]

I’ve been watching narc exposed videos from Dr. Ramani, Lisa Kudrow, Psychopath exposure all them for over a year and this is the most dead on one I’ve seen. I definitely wanna show my friends this video if and when appropriate to share what I went through...

[@pjotrboboy900]

Hear hear, save our souls

[@stonewall78]

This video is the last 24 years of my life. From being married for almost 20 years to deciding to separate when I couldn't take it anymore. Then to finding out she cheated on me and lied about it for 22 years. To top it all off to the final lie and coming out baby trapping me 4 months into our marriage. If you ever find yourself in the relationship with one of these women, RUN. Run like the rest of your life depends on it, because your future happiness sure does.

[@johnpaddy8195]

Imagine that, 2 years im and only now truly realising she is literally one of the biggest lessons in my life up till now. Absolutely amazing how deceitful another person can be. And to be honest truly sad... Thanks for your video..

[@oscarrivas7240]

Wow, going through the comment section after watching this is a breath of fresh air. Knowing that we're not alone in the things we went through, and the fact that the things that happened to us ARE in fact signs of an unhealthy individual, is comforting. I'm glad to be out of that relationship, but to those that are still in this type of relationship, please, get out. If you need help or need someone to talk to, reach out here, me or someone else would be glad to reach out one on one.

[@TheRealSpeal]

Yessssirrrr.

[@abrenmiller1729]

I need help because I believe I’m going through the same thing

[@Dacicusify]

Is not so easy to come out when you have children .

[@deenanthekemoni5567]

​@Dacicusify exactly. I know she'll keep my daughter away from me. And I cannot imagine a world without her. But her Mother is evil.

[@how-to-DIY-it]

How would someone be able to leave if they have a business with a narcissist wife? If I were to leave I'd have no income. I'd essentially have to start at 0. I'd give my left leg to leave, but don't particularly want to be homeless either.

[@alexbay7885]

Well explained. If you are a real man with integrity who want to protect your love who needs help, be very careful. Give it to the right person. Test her before trusting her. Good women are rare as good men

[@pgo3427]

This is so accurate.. I cannot believe she knows everything that happened to me in my 3 years old relationship with my nex…

[@WhatsThePoint01]

I went through a relationship like this, messed me up really bad. 😭 Three years single afterwards, didn’t trust anyone. Still don’t.

[@jasongolder8437]

This sums up my 22 years of marriage perfectly; got to the point of being completely, utterly shelled out and broken. I had no ideas left to try and no energy to try them with. She discarded me when my brother passed away and then when she gave me the silent treatment for three days whilst my mum was fighting for her life on a life support machine - on Mother’s Day, only 4 months after my brother died - I snapped and the feeling was just a cold resignation. I left her, to never return.

[@nygeek6471]

Good for you man! I left my ex wife almost 4 years in, I couldn’t do it anymore. What I was glad about is that she stopped attempting to reel me back in when she realized it was futile. I hope yours left you alone too.

[@jasongolder8437]

@@nygeek6471 yes complete discard

[@curlyone2275]

23 Years here, Similar circumstances. Amazing that they take so long to drain everything then discard you. You will be better one day, but Narcissist PTSD is real. One day you will be filled again...Find purpose in your path!

[@opopopop6286]

@@curlyone2275 They are just lesser variants of the sociopath/psychopath...they formed these personalities (for lack of a better word) in childhood. Without self-awareness they stay that way for life, and because they look at their EGO as their actual full being, something to be protected as if it meant their very life, ultra rare is the one of them that ever evolves to heal even slightly. So when it comes to who is BETTER OFF generally speaking it is the co-dependent. When they heal they move to being an empath. Eventually the empath can even reach the FINAL FORM (hah) the MindMaster! When you have reached that stage you can even take one of these narcs and re-program them pretty effectively by smashing their false ego and setting them free to allow some healing from their childhood wounds. IF you think you can pull this off when you are still healing from your own childhood wounds, STOP thinking such silliness. You have to heal yourself first FULLY!

[@curlyone2275]

@@opopopop6286 "MindMaster" Need to look that one up. Yes...I have expanded my Spiritual ability to a form that have never achieved before since my detachment from my wife. I followed a Guru when I was a younger man until I met my then Wife. I experienced things had never before while on my somewhat forced Baptist path by my family. I know...sacrilegious, but actually was experiencing what felt like God and a very loving sense until I was fuck bombed not love bombed by my Narc. She was beautiful and sexual...a Scorpio if you ever look at that. She wanted everything from me. Took me away from my family, my friends, and only allowed me to exchange with her family. When I was totally empty from the discard, I asked the Universe for music because of my and my family's history of it. I hadn't touched my guitar in 24 years. I hadn't been spiritual for about that long either. Once I turned those things back on, I achieved a level that have never been before. so...Yes, I am more of an Empath then have ever experienced. I do date but not really any relationships as far as multiply sexual partners. Unfortunately, there seems to be many Narcissists that are hungry for supply, and I see it right away!

[@jmc6185]

This was basically like a play by play of my last relationship. Especially the sex and loving bombing in the beginning! It wasn't just like one or two things that I could relate to in this video. It was like reliving that hell from beginning to end going through each tactic she used. It was like she was given a playbook. It's been two years since I was discarded. I still haven't healed and I'm still afraid of intimacy. Feel like I have completely lost all confidence and sense of identity after 4 years of being treated like I was the scum of the earth. Thank you, Lise. This video was extremely validating

[@Pajune]

Man, been there. It was the craziest, most effective manipulation ever, and I consider myself pretty "enlightened" when it comes to the power plays in this damned world. Time will heal these wounds I believe, but surely we will be scarred forever. Scars are good reminders of the dangers tho.

[@jmc6185]

@@Pajune Yeah she chewed me out and spat me out. I feel like a shadow of the man I used to be. I hear you brother. I'm sorry you got baited into dating one of these nightmare women. Nobody , regardless of sex deserves to be treated like this. Social media has definitely created a massive spike in narcissism.

[@denishillman5942]

Men need to get this.

[@Januii]

It's like you took the words right out of my mouth. Same time frame and everything. I hope you're able to heal.

[@jmc6185]

@@Januii honestly man, What did it for me was finding out she is engaged to the guy she left me for . I’m just glad I got away from her. I did love her, but it was an extremely toxic relationship. I learned a lot from that relationship. Good and bad. I learned what I will and won’t tolerate in a relationship, and how to spot red flags. I learned the importance of male friendships, and not isolating when you are in pain. It’s the absolute worst thing you can do. I truly empathize with anyone who has delt with narcissistic abuse, it is absolutely no joke. Find support, own up to your own shortcomings and keep striving to be a better. Root out your childhood trauma, or make peace with your inner child. Learn to set boundaries with people. Don’t be a door mat. Read the book : “ No More Mr. Nice Guy. “ Don’t make excuses for yourself, Don’t victimize yourself. Take responsibility for your life and never sell yourself short. Always tell yourself , “no matter what happens in life, I will handle it. “ Feel your pain, embrace it and then find ways to occupy your time constructively in ways that actually better yourself. If you need help. Hire a coach. There is absolutely no shame.

[@RichyGuyInTheChair]

This describes exactly the behaviour of my ex who spent a decade abusing me. I was so gaslit I believed I was a failure.

[@ubercow21]

Thank you! You taught me to run faster against a narcissistic woman than a hungry tiger

[@KaiserTheAdversary]

Dated a chick like this for three months. Most emotionally intense relationship of my life. No one had ever made me feel that desired. It felt absolutely amazing. Then all the sh*t tests, head games, lies, and manipulation started. Fortunately I broke up with her before things got too serious. Based on what she had told me, I think that I was the first man to break up with her (though she may have been lying about her previous relationships). She threw an absolute fit.

[@scottpreston5074]

@Kaiser. Good for you! Leave her throwing a fit; she deserves it.

[@joeyfish3156]

Most likely a lie. She will tell every man she ever dates that he is the first one to leave her.

[@davidm4566]

You are SO lucky. My wife is covert mid-range. She started showing the junk slowly after treating me so well. By the time she fully showed herself we were already married. Literally on our honeymoon she started getting controlling and we argued so much. She was so covert that I was actually researching narcissism (her dad and ex were narcs and still in the picture because of her son so I wanted to learn more) and dismissed the signs, thinking she could NEVER be a narcissist herself, after receiving the abuse. Boy was I wrong.

[@AphroditeThePriestess]

I wonder what she did, if you are ok with sharing …🙏

[@thebacka]

@@davidm4566 Get out now as fast as you can. It's not too late!

[@georgepolydorou7718]

I managed to break free from this type of relationship. Was even feeling ashamed and guilty for leaving her and started to lose myself and thinking I'm going crazy... But after watching this video i feel so much better... Everything makes sense now. Thank you!

[@bonsummers2657]

Remember everyone, God first. Relationships are not for emotional vulnerability. Relationships are for mutual appreciation and goodness. If someone's not doing their part, let them know at some prudent point. And, remember, God first. Move on when a relationship is not showing worthyness.

[@brianlane9534]

There are many of us.

[@jk-kr8jt]

That's weak. Are there actually guys out there that can't dump these broads? Seriously I don't know.

[@NiceOneZebra]

Amen

[@slay2525]

This is called gaslighting. Its from the movie Gaslight. It is a common tool of the narcissist.

[@remytembe4249]

You're absolutely on point!

[@remytembe4249]

This is the most perfect video I've come across that describes the situation I'm in now. Everything you said was exactly as my now estranged wife did to me, and as you said, I unfortunately have to co parent with her after all the criminal allegations against me are over. There's indeed no happy ending.

[@RestlessNativeGaming]

i believe i got discarded out of a 3 year narcissistic relationship last year and was madly in love with her and this video made me feel like im not crazy and maybe it was for the best now but i was very depressed and hurt for a very long time after after we broke up she still lives in my head rent free im trying to move on and forget her its been over a year since i seen her or talked to her this video has helped me on understanding more on this issue. thanks :(

[@BeWise4Life]

I went into this video skeptical only to feel never more seen. This was exactly my relationship with me ex-wife. The only thing is that I did keep my promises to her and she did break me down. I sought out therapy and I prayed incessantly. I grew to understand that I was only teaching her it was okay to disrespect me and mistreat me. I started to feel the only way I could protect myself from her onslaught was to start yelling back. When I was separated from my family and couldn't tell which way was up or down....I was broken. Thankfully, in God's mercy I was reborn. I started reading books about boundaries and I began working on myself. I realized I had taken on her problems as my own but they weren't mine to fix. I stopped the cycle without leaving her. When she'd do her frequent daily texts and phone calls to yell at me over something that someone else did I'd respond with, "Honey I love you, but I won't talk to you when speak to me this way." *click* I'd block her number off and on during the day when she'd spam hateful texts after giving her a warning. At home, when she'd yell at me, again. It would be, "Honey, I love you and I want to resolve this with you but I won't speak with you when you talk to me like this. I'll be going to (a location) to do (some activity) for an hour and then when I come back we can talk about this again. I set boundary after boundary and after some time it worked. Things became extremely healthy between us and were going great, but suddenly one day she split. I didn't hear from her for a few months until I got a knock on the door with divorce papers. A week later I received a letter. Though sad, thus wasn't very surprising. I had grown, but she had not. She was no longer getting the fix she sought and didn't want to get the help she needed to be healthy. She would come back 1 more time before the divorce was finalized. Unfortunately/fortunately the long custody dispute with crazy accusations and a poor court system took up the next few years. Once again, I was blessed with a hardship that broke me but allowed me, by the grace of God, to come out of it stronger and more equipped than I was before. Patience, perseverance, and integrity (coupled with getting some really strong court orders 😉) has made our co-parenting relationship mostly healthy. I went through a lot to get us here and I learned a lot about communication along the way and now I have a function relationship with the mother of my daughter. She still love bombs my daughter and I have to consistently stay on top of things for my baby girl but she's turning out okay so far. Mom has since moved on a couple times and is now set to be married in a few months. I don't have much hope for the relationship but I am so happy to be free of my commitment to her. Chances are she's pulled in another decent man and so far my daughter says he treats her well. At this point, that is all I care about as far as he's concerned. A good step-dad is basically like having a close uncle. It also provides a different person other than myself and our daughter for her to put her attention towards. Our relationship didn't work out in the end but I was able to stay true to my convictions and I know that I can look my daughter in the eye when she grows up and tell her I did everything I could for our family, should she ever ask. That to me makes the sacrifice worth it. I will also be grateful for the masterclass I received in growing up. For the first time in my life I'm spending time, energy, and money on......me. Thank you ex-wife. Without her I never would have learned to stand up for myself. Since then, I've stood up to some unhealthy relationships in my own family in love and firmness.....it was rocky for a few years but I changed the dynamics of multiple relationships to much healthier and respectful relationships. No longer am I easily taken advantage of. I still have a long fuse and a lot of patience but when that fuse expires I now have tools in my tool chest for how to respond. It has been extremely helpful in my professional career as well. I work in a field dominated by women and for a long time I was pushed around for it. Not anymore, I can now speak up for myself. In fact, I did so today and it paid off. I was broken and from those ashes reborn.

[@ftousoukopelaramou]

My respect to you brave man!

[@Fernuhdo_e]

You didn't have to go out of your day to type this so I'm extremely grateful you did. Wasn't able to find solutions to some of the points you touched on so thank you, this really helped!

[@BeWise4Life]

@@Fernuhdo_e Glad to hear it helped. 👌🏼

[@pascalbreitenberger5580]

dido

[@simonellis9038]

Respect to you 👊🏼

[@gcm7044]

I've survived 4 years with a covert NPD, the insidious nature of the manipulation is unreal. It took one day of seeing myself in the mirror to realise I didn't recognise the person I saw in the mirror. I used to work in mental health rehab with PD cases, told her when we first started sating I wouldn't be in a relationship with a PD. More fool me, she lied about having a diagnosis until we decided to call it a day. Please if you find yourself in this situation, leave. No matter the cost, please leave and don't look back.

[@darren6347]

Crazy how true this is. Only experienced this sort of relationship once but I will never forget those 2 years of hell. Props to anyone that got out and returned to happiness 🤗

[@djpvma]

I really enjoyed this video. Your insight really helps me understand my past and helps me cope with the narcissistic abuse I've been hammered with by female after female. I can't take it anymore. I've been single for years because I just won't put up with this behavior anymore. Thank you!

[@stevesherwood5060]

We as men think we have it handled but it was me being handled. I was being broken down and it was ruining my life. I removed myself from dating and have since started taking care of myself. I lost a lot and I am recovering but I have a ways to go. Thanks for the help I appreciate it.

[@gonzogoes]

Yup. She got me too.😢

[@MrAlexH1991]

I honestly feel like if we’d gone to couples’ therapy, she’d have completely highjacked every session to rave on and on about all of my “toxic” traits.

[@jmc6185]

I feel your pain brother. "Our "therapist became "her" therapist after only a few sessions.

[@thestraycat69]

​@@jmc6185 which I would be ok with, whatever helps her. Because despite all of this I still care about her. I was just lost in a dream.

[@jmc6185]

@@thestraycat69 I felt that way for a while, until a therapist told me. "What if the roles were reversed? What if she was the guy in the relationship, she'd probably would have gone to jail." I stopped beating myself up after that, stopped defending her, and finally took the rose color glasses off. I began the process of forgiving myself for not leaving by learning to understand why I didn't leave in the first place. I learned I had an anxious attachment in relationships from being severely neglected as a child. I joined a men's group and realized that most of if not all of my problems stem from early childhood and that I wasn't alone. I am slowly learning to affirm and esteem myself since that wasn't something that was ever a thing in my family. Someday I'll forgive her but not anytime soon. She took everything from me. I was doing fucking awesome before I met her, and in the beginning I did well to take things slow. But eventually she had her hooks in me and had full control. She cheated, lied, gas lit and manipulated me to the point where I have become completely hollowed out, and have no sense of self and zero confidence, and a genuine fear of intimacy now. She took everything from me, while she has just moved on to another sad sap, the only difference he comes from money, so he gives her that over the top me me me, princess lifestyle that she so desperately desires. I could care less about her, Fuck her. She was the worst thing that ever happened to me. She fucking destroyed me financially, mentally, spiritually. I'll never get that time back, and the confidence level I was at before I met her, feels like something I'll never get back either. It was never even that great, but I was finally learning to love myself. Went to the gym, treated myself well, went on dates. Was causally seeing an absolute bombshell right before I met my succubus ex. But she love bombed and that was beginning of the end.

[@Squirrel-zq6oe]

​@@thestraycat69 ew

[@jacobuszwanenburg1629]

Exactly ! The therapist ended up in therapy !

[@herosbreath6715]

These days everyone calls their ex a narcissist, so when it was suggested to me that my exGF is a narcissist, I just waved it off. I knew she had some deep wounds from her childhood. and was with a covert narcissist before me, and was in the Navy, so I chalked a lot of her issues up to those stressors. I've been free of her for two months and I keep wondering how I could have let myself get into such a weak position with her. I've been wondering how much MORE work I have to do on myself before I'll be able to handle a relationship again and if I even stand a chance. Then I found your videos and you've described my relationship with my ex in excruciating detail. You have saved my sanity and I can't thank you enough!

[@kanialahalealani]

I just got out of a relationship with a female narcissist. She was also an alcoholic. I'm SO GLAD it's over.

[@x-2954]

Unfortunately, infidelity tends to go hand in hand with narcissism. Especially, somatic narcissism. Narcissists believe EVERYTHING they need is external, including self-worth, self-esteem, validation, etc. Those things are what make up our inner world and we are supposed to develop and cultivate them within/on our own. Narcissists DEPEND on people to supply those things for them. Because we cannot (nor, are we supposed to) supply every want/need of a partner, narcissists are always on the lookout for "better supply". They will always gravitate toward anyone they feel can meet the needs/wants their spouse isn't (and can't). Narcissists are unstable and they cannot soothe themselves. They cannot meet their own needs and their needs/wants are constantly changing. Narcissists are black holes. They are human abyss' of unmet needs/wants. Even if you gave them everything, they'd still want MORE... All while giving NOTHING in return. Narcissists are also pathologically bored. They do not experience boredom the way normal adults do. They're like children. Once they become bored, they tend to throw their toys (people) in a corner to collect dust. Then, they search for new ones... Untilllll, they realize that their newest toy isn't as fun. Or, it doesn't function as well as the old toy did. Then, they'll go digging in the corner to find that old toy (the reason their relationships tend to be off and on). People are objects meant to keep them occupied and entertained. The newer the toy, the better/more exciting it is. However, EVERYONE will inevitably lose their shine with the narcissist. You must accept their reality and realize that it's NOT ABOUT YOU and it never was. This is also the point when it becomes crucial to sit your ego on the curb. Your ego will want to fight to be seen. Your ego will want to fight to prove you're enough. Your ego will feel it's "worthy" of the narcissist and fight to "keep" them... But, again: IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU. Most narcissists are extremely irresponsible. Many of them marry to secure stability. Or, to have someone they can count on to help with bills to free up their resources. It also ensures they'll have somewhere safe to land when they fall - because they always f*** up... Do yourself a favor and pull that rug of security out from under them and save YOURSELF. Narcissists do not have a moral compass. They do not respect the union of marriage. It'll always be a one-sided arrangement with you being the giver that's making their life easier and them being the taker that's making your life harder. We deserve the same love, attention, support and understanding that we give our spouses. You will never get it from someone suffering with NPD. Moreover, if you feel sure that your husband might never cheat on you, you might have to rethink. Most wives in marriages are shocked when they find out their husband cheating, and it happens more with people who never thought they would cheat. This is why you have to take the tiniest suspicion carefully. If your husband is cheating on you, the best and probably the only guaranteed way to catch him is to spy on their phones. However, spying on a phone is not something you can do without any external help unless you have the James bond level of spy skills. In such case you will need an expert phone spyier Metaspyhub@gmail. com for the purpose,,,

[@straitarrow5784]

😮 thats a weird rant. Are you a nastycist ?

[@RicardoMartinez-oh9sq]

Great insight. I confronted my narcissistic date, from somewhere in Asia, with the fact that she had a lover (another woman), a fact she could not deny. Instead, she retorted that homosexuality is a Western concept and then she trashed my entire academic background in Psychology. This, not for the purpose of ending our relationship, but like in this video, to finally break me like a horse.

[@michaelrose93]

Lighten up then, just enjoy the sexy bit and laugh the rest off, that's what I did.

[@Pompicz]

​@@RicardoMartinez-oh9sqdid she manage?

[@jameswatson6324]

This... was mind-blowing. A literal step by step description, from start to finish, of my last relationship. Seriously, it was eye-opening and a bit scary at how completely accurately it described, in 11 minutes, the last seven and a half years of my life.

[@robertdemeter5793]

When dealing with narcissism, you should know that it’s not personal. “It isn’t personal” is one of those cliches used to cushion all kinds of bad actions taken by people who need an out for being immoral, but in this case it's truth. Narcissists don’t know how to love; they can’t afford to spare the energy to learn, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissists value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. Loads of them brag about being a good parent and seek compliments for that only to hide their masks. When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing. They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves. When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal. They’re too terrified to have close personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection. Moreover, People wonder why they end up hurt, seriously hurt, and even killed for their own actions. ' - Cara Lee

[@randallcauley9484]

Agree. Relate. A step-by-step guide to NPD-ville. The progression for me was so clear (from here).

[@CaptainAngelo]

Yup! This just described the 26 year marriage that I divorced and left, I didn’t even know what a covert narcissist was until a family member told me about it, they sought 26 years before my marriage ended, but I didn’t see it until the last two or three years, this is a great video! Watch out for covert, narcissist man, most of them are actually women, men tend to just be good, old-fashioned narcissists, but this is scary accurate. You don’t see it coming when they’re smiling and cuddling with you, and holding you like a loving relationship should be, it blind you from what’s underneath the waves, and the Toxicityof their behavior

[@edvallecorse2966]

Amazing! You have described the last 44 years of my life being obligated to care for someone who is physically, mentally and spiritually crippled. I am a PHIL on steroids I am sorry to state.

[@johnpaddy8195]

Agreed

[@doaingbuilds5053]

I wish you were near where I live. I went through exactly that. On top of that, then she cheated on me with a Cop so I couldn’t even be a man and deal with it for fear of dealing with the authorities just like the Leftist world we are all suffering from now. She destroyed my career my life and took everything from me. I know I can help many others like you are and I also have a KZbin channel. I think that’s what I’m going to do next. Thank you so much for helping me. I am going to help people as well. And for the record, I was that HERO…. Retired firefighter after 30 years. She diminished me to an 8 year old boy when I was at the peak of my manhood saving people and being the best husband and step dad I could be. Food for thought, not only did I raise her daughter since she was one to 15. I don’t even know where they live anymore. I am blocked out of their lives and forever. Then to put the cherry on top. She said I never helped her raise her daughter. They moved into my house and I paid 99.9 % of everything. I spent more time with her daughter than she did. The narcissist she is said to me. I’ve been a single mother raising a child. When I met her she worked at Dunkin’s. Then found out she was illegal in the US. Then when she kept getting pulled over and going to court for not having a license I tried to change all that to try to have a real relationship with her. The second ai married her everything changed. The hooks were in and the rest is history. I’m going to tell my story on my channel. Not this one, ai have a channel just for helping people. It’s called (ITS THIS EASY). Perhaps you can google it and find me. Regardless, I am so sorry for any man that has experienced what I just went through for over 14 years. Listen to her and change your life.

[@judoka1976]

Wow....thanks so much for this video. It made me think a lot about my current relationship with a female who was supposed "abused" by her "narcissistic" ex-husband.

[@Ted02-xr9ui]

For anyone who is currently stuck with a narc, this advice is priceless. Your only option is to run away from them as far as you can!

[@Bulbaswole]

I'm trying.. I am stuck. And pulling the trigger is honestly the hardest thing I've ever done after investing so much.

[@nicholasbogdan5552]

Just think about how much more you lose if you stay! Do not waste another minute of your life!

[@Bulbaswole]

​@nicholasbogdan5552 pulled the trigger today for good!! I feel liberated. Decided to hit the gym, and had some great conversations. These videos helped me so much to say the final goodbye:) never again will I go through this hell

[@cisco6621]

Hard to do.

[@kirbyaugustine761]

I just made 19 years with my narc wife and every word you spoke is 100% accurate. Narcs don’t get better; they become better predators.

[@mulemule]

"Narcs don’t get better; they become better predators." (This should be sold on a support group T-shirt or bumper sticker.)

[@ovechkin100]

ngl everytime she tries to play deceitful games, i hope youre degrading her in the worst possible way. make them feel horrible about themselves.

[@CynicalBastard]

@@ovechkin100 You people just can't help yourselves.

[@ovechkin100]

@@CynicalBastard Ive delt with narcs at work and in relationships. They are way softer than they let on, make them feel shitty about themselves and hopeless in their games. They dont deserve the respect anyways.

[@PassionateFlower]

@@ovechkin100 Careful. Every piece of ammunition you fire at them only makes them stronger with more fire power to use against you later on down the road when you least expect it. They eat all your bullets and meld it into a spiked wrecking ball big enough to decimate anything you dare to build for yourself. Vengeance sounds satisfying as all hell, but they'll always be 5 steps ahead of you because they trained for this mind game manipulation for life and they can and will die protecting their false selves and are prepared to go down fighting tooth and fake nail. Are you prepared to go down with a sinking ship just to have the temporary satisfaction of slitting their metaphorical throats? The last thing you will see is their classic evil smug smirk and hear their detestable horrible jester laugh echoing in your ears as you both perish together. You wanna go out like that? You're playing a losing game. They would love to know they brought you, a good person, down to their despicable, depraved level. Then they've totally truly won. When they've got you by the balls turning you into one of them. Or you can just heal and walk away from the game for good. Vanquish your own demons that drew you to be tempted by people like this in the first place. They only used your own most egotistical superficial desires against you in the first place and made you idolize your most cherished idealized version of YOURSELF through their eyes reflecting back to you the mirage of every wish you ever desired in life for how you wanted to see yourself and be perceived by others. Duh. That's how the devil and Jezebel spirit works. They use your own damn deepest egoistic desires to warp you with your consent. Then they don't deliver on their false promises because you paid for the trickery WITH YOUR OWN SOUL THAT YOU HAPPILY AND HASTILY HANDED ON OVER IN EXCHANGE FOR ALL THE "GOODIES" THEY LIED ABOUT GIVING YOU. So drop the ego defenses, accept the L, let the devil "win", it's an empty win for them anyways let's be real, and get your own soul and sanity back. Let's be clear and realistic. You got f*cked over. You WERE bested. They mind raped you. That's it. Game over. AND THAT'S OKAY. Why is it okay? Because that's life. Has nothing to do with your status or intelligence level. Dumb criminals steal from highly educated, classy, decent, hard working people all the time. Like ALL THE TIME. Evil doesn't know any boundaries. Evil is as evil does. Evil has no time or patience to follow rules or reflect and find empathy for others. Narcissistic abuse happens to the best of us and the worst of us. From high powered CEOs, to the guy that mows your neighbor's lawn, to the guy with the bottle under the bridge by your freeway exit. How long do you honestly want to stay stuck in the mud rolling around with these angel faced back stabbing pigs? They love it and you stay dirty. GET OUT of the pig pen already! And NO maybe you DON'T get to end up with super model Barbie with a huge rack and perfect smile who adores and worships the ground you walk on with no needs of her own except to serve you and make you look good to all your friends, family, neighbors, and co-workers. Maybe you DON'T get to end up with the ig model who is a magical virgin with the sex skills of a porn star goddess and never ages a day over 22 and has an IQ of 160 but of course never uses it to challenge your perspective and has every power tool available in sparkly pink from Home Depot and knows how to install new flooring with her own shellac rhinestone encrusted manicured hands and loves sky diving and owns 3 pit bulls and 2 rottweilers ironically named Fluffy, Harmony, Gracie, Giselle, and Tank and shoots fireball whiskey but never gets blitzed and can fire a rifle with marine level precision and can name every football player and NBA player and their stats and can down a gallon of beer and loaded nachos and wings and run a half marathon on nothing but cliff bars and Powerade but never gains a molecule and can replace a car engine and is a top rated international brain surgeon who runs the top rated daycare in America as well as a non profit animal rescue rehabilitation center for the coolest rarest endangered wild animals and also participates in the annual local Thanksgiving and Christmas toy drive for kids and only has eyes for you and has energy to give you the most mind blowing sex on demand but also is never clingy and gives you months of space when needed and has the waist line of a coke bottle while everyone's eyes are on her and constantly high fiving you, "damn bro how in the hell did you land her?! Props my man! Mad respect bro😎🤙😎✊😎✌You da man of the century!" 🙌 Maybe you just figure out the original source of your own insecurities that landed you in a pit with a demon in the first place (probably had something to do with a smothering, neglectful, invalidating, spoiling, self serving, or absent mother) and let people's own karmic destruction catch up to them to be their own reckoning. Imagine just humbling your ego and finding out there's something better than having the hottest baddie on the block to show up everyone who never respected you prior. Imagine finding beauty in simple things in life, valuing a few good friends over applause from thousands of demonic strangers with evil agendas and appreciating the simple uncomplicated beauty of previously perceived boring predictable or plain women with average intelligence but are good natured in soul and have a practical approach to budgeting and have an even temperament but not a huge bank account or collection of heels.

[@christophe5756]

This IS pure gold.

[@powertothetubers456]

I would click like 1,000 times if I could what she's saying is so true! I know from experience!!

[@ilovebutterstuff]

10 years ago, I was with the woman you're talking about here. It damaged me so badly, I never want another girlfriend again. The idea of getting into another romantic relationship makes my hackles rise.

[@ophiuckus1635]

Bro I was happy and consciously single for 10 years, untill I met a woman who presented herself as my soulmate, treated me like a king and she was my queen; boy.. was I in for a ride.. Still recovering 7 months after discard.

[@darcmusic9782]

I was trapped for 10 years. We were married for 7 and have a 5yo daughter. Everything you just explained is exactly what happened to me, and consequently, what she sought whilst cheating on me repeatedly. I decided to pull the plug when she became physically abusive due to her tantrums because I became aware of her tactics. It hurts still. "The axe forgets, but the tree remembers" I still have to deal with this person for the rest of my life because we have a daughter. I hope I can heal and move on with my life without staying resentful.

[@emielvg1891]

I have a daughter too, I feel you bro

[@cliffdariff74]

dude, don't be over dramatic. raise your kid, don't worry about her. you are already planning to have her bother you forever. man up and forget about her.

[@mickeymad29]

You’ll be fine brother , fuck this dam females I’m also going through this B.S right now and I’m ready to move on !!! I’m getting older and I can’t stand this mofo !!! I tried my best to be the best dad and hubby no more !!

[@ES-os7ko]

Good luck man. Hope you can find some peace.

[@JohnGalt986]

u want to check out PAS (Parental Alienation Syndrome) this is what she is going to try , 100%. Good luck

[@stevesimmons6685]

Right on! And “Make crazy,” statements.

[@mgu1N1n1]

Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female ex-partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe!

[@chaotic.interference.processor]

I am here 20 years too late. The parallels between my story and what other people have shared here is frightening. I went through hell, I lived through my worst nightmare. I was sex bombed in the beginning. I didn't even know that was a thing. I won't go into any details but one day early in the relationship I thought it was all a bit too much. I had to tell her to stop. At the time I thought it was a bit odd. In retrospect it was a huge red flag that I ignored. I was such a fool. There was so much shit that even thinking about making an effort to describe some of it seems futile. I could fill a book. I did begin writing what I call my suicide diary, how not to live. It is hard. Part of me just wants to forget and move on, yet another part of me wants to scream out what I endured to anyone who will listen if it may help them avoid my situation. The final months I was quite ill both physically and mentally. Anxiety, depression, insomnia, pain, fear, hunger, and loneliness. I ended up in hospital on more than one occasion. I did attempt to take my own life, not because she left me, but because of imminent homelessness in addition to everything else. I had nothing left. I came very close. I can still vividly remember the moment that I realised that I would not be able to make it back to shore. There was no panic, only peace. I was drifting away. Some time later I was yanked from that peace onto the cold, hard, metal deck of a hovercraft. That was physically the most painful experience of my life. I suddenly became painfully aware of the coldness of my body after being in the ocean, naked. for an hour or so. It was early April, in Canada. My attempt on my life became a painful rebirth. The journey back to health is ongoing but I have rediscovered joy in simple things. I quit my unnecessary medication a couple of weeks after returning from hospital. "I hope he gets the help he needs", was the last indirect communication I ever heard from her. I didn't need pills, just a good friend, and a belief in my self. Physically and mentally I feel better now than I did 20 years ago. I am still broke, and there are other challenges but I have regained the strength to continue living. There is so much more to this story, and just tapping out these words dredges up crazy shit that I cannot believe I endured. I had shelved my idea of writing a book simply because it feels inconsequential to the universe. After watching this video and reading some of the comments below I have to reconsider. I had no clue there were so many who have suffered in this way. I don't know that it would be something anyone would want to read. Of course I would wrap it all up in my dark sense of humour and sprinkle it with little sugary drops of stoic and buddhist wisdom that I have acquired by necessity since the darkness ended. I might even change the names of those involved to protect the innocent, or not! Thanks for posting this very informative, and possibly inspirational video. I wish you all the best. Thanks also to anyone else that took the time to read this. Love your self! Peace!

[@scottpreston5074]

@chaotic interference processor Write the book. I'll read it.

[@javidantechereshaun1939]

I agree w/ Scott Preston. Write it. I did the very same thing coincidentally. I wrote a book. I'm handing it to a proofreader/editor when I'm done pecking at typos and the such. It's astonishing to see and read all the similar, if not the same traumas. We didn't know. Let's do our part that may or may not be consequential to the universe but perhaps be what's needed to be read by the next man after us. In the same or similar way, I needed to read all of these comments. There was no book; just Lisa Romano, you, and the rest of these guys. BTW, SMSNOVEL.COM when you get your outline done.

[@RichardGilder]

Stay strong my friend and believe in a better life. I understand and comprehend the hell you have been through. Write that book. This stuff needs to be brought out in the open. It is a genuine pandemic that few know about nor understand. Good luck and let us all know when the book is ready. If you need help with content I’m sure there’s loads who can help to contribute

[@rmalarcbe]

Am in the same situation after 21years

[@cyberafrika]

I agree,write that book,I know and understand,it can get so complex & life becomes so scrambled with every aspect of one’s life,the only way to unscramble it all would be to write a book as part of your healing process,to untangle the madness.Mine was 13 years of absolute hell,ending in a foreign country with no family support,been thrown in jail for so called abuse bcs she cried victim when she was completely drunk and knew I would by then ignore her drama.After 3 months of court cases and been treated like an abusive husband by the court,the case was thrown out as she admitted eventually that she was paralleticaly drunk and had no memory of why she called the police.This after she herded up a team of woman lib organizations & having an affair with her lawyer.As soon as the case was finished,I up and left the country and came home & literally mentally crashed.3 years later,I still have PTSD,cannot even entertain a relationship or even go out on a date.Thank God we had no children,although there was the fake pregnancy earlier in the relationship when I was working overseas on a 4 month contract.That was in the 1st year of our relationship…it took me 10 years of alcoholic abuse to start seeing all the red flags,but too late.I have had 2 years of trauma therapy,couldn’t work for almost 3 years,completely lost my sense of self but slowly regaining strength and interest in life.I don’t know where to begin with the evil that was done…to much & complex to mention albeit send me into a state of panic.Slowly unraveling in a book.PS her previous boyfriend committed suicide as she had an affair with his best friend.All started coming out of the woodwork…In the mean time I heard she landed up in an abusive relationship and has almost literally landed up near the North Pole.Please don’t fuckup Father Christmas as well!

[@badgerdad777]

I was married to one. I barely survived her. What helped me was the marriage counselor who taught me about narcissism and basically told me to let her have her affair and to run away. Cutting the strings was hard. She had been turning everyone against me for years so I was alone and didn't trust anyone. We had three kids. It's been nine years since the divorce. Eventually two of the three kids, the older ones, figured her out and left her. Six months ago she died of cancer. I would've been fine if it were me that died instead but it happened. I still am afraid of her and when my anxiety starts coming because of thoughts of her I have to remind myself she is dead. It's been a tough go but it helped me become a better person and a better dad.

[@wesspe81]

In my case , realising who she was - having kids with her would be the biggest nightmare . Oversensitive - outbursts of cry when things were not going her way. Tantrums against her closest family - which was a psycho ward itself. Doing things her way - no matter what, even if warned, it is not good for her and will hurt her. For the outside world she was a sweet , listening, empathetic person , nobody would have a slightest idea who she truly is . I am glad you went out of it better . Interestingly after her i met a grandiose narc . After few days i realised that she is unacceptable ... but ... the true monsters are these covert ones . Grandiose can be broken and are visible very soon . Coverts are true actors, they can go unseen a very long time, destroyng their partners is for them a daily rouitine.

[@ENIGMAXII2112]

@@wesspe81 Oh dear dear me, this sounds all too very familiar. I had one of these monsters in my life as well..

[@ENIGMAXII2112]

Byron Gillespie I know that one quite well, the "turning everyone against me"... My God these people ARE walking Demons.. They are more than capable of turning ANY good Man to insanity..

[@fissionchips223]

Damn, dude, I am so sorry to hear this because I know what you’ve been through. I wouldn’t wish this on someone I hated, even. Thanks for being a good man and father, she can’t hurt you any more👊🙌

[@personanongrata123]

may The Most High protect you against all evil, sir.

[@user-jq7cy9vf5z]

Wow, my ex put me through this exact process for 6 years, when i finally got free i ran, after 6 years of some of the craziest abuse ive ever experienced in my life. Four years have passed since i left with the clothes on my back, i could never be alone with her again and have never been able to trust another woman, ive dated but i see faults or the same behavor and manipulation so I end it. I know in my heart that all women aren't the same but the walls ive constructed are too high. I had rather be alone that take the chance of being abused again. Truthfully I believe that women are taught this behavior and all of the manipulate a man to get whatever they want.

[@davidanscombe1106]

I hear you man. Its bloody hard to ever trust another woman after being in such a relationship, and see the common trait (including in myself) that victims find it hard to have another relationship or trust another woman without being triggered by past abuse or manipulation

[@MrRaybrown007]

This is Gold.... , I think I have just dodged a bullet , I was being tested , for the third time. But this time I didn't take the bait to come back.

[@josiah5776]

My ex used all of these tactics. She was later diagnosed as a psychopath. I've read and heard in several different places that every psychopath is also a narcissist. Hearing this, I tend to believe it.

[@greghenderson8745]

I've heard the same, except that not all narcs are psychopaths.

[@josiah5776]

@@greghenderson8745 Yep, same a what Ive read

[@enzoonymus3084]

You're fortunate to be alive. Good for you. I on the other hand, I am still married to a narcissist.

[@murphyjohnston1814]

That's not true I Am A Psychopath I'm also an Empath

[@josiah5776]

@@murphyjohnston1814 Psychopaths are also notorious liars. Anything they says is suspect.

[@SydMountaineer]

I wish Johnny Depp would've known this before meeting Amber Heard. But like all narcissists, she made the relationship develop quickly. She did lots of fake things to impress him, like using her assistant's young son as a prop, one incident she scared the boy badly, video got removed from internet, the boy was afraid of her & she almost hurt him. She did it to make Johnny think she was good with kids, motherly - she baked cookies with him under guise of a photo shoot, invited a photographer to make it seem like she spent time with kids.

[@electrickrain]

Because you and "Jonhnnys" lives are so connected..

[@carlmeeson6516]

Thank you for this. I'm 6 months out of an 18 month relationship with someone who was exactly like this. Left me feeling really bad about myself. I'll definitely be looking for the signs if I decide I ever want to be with anyone else again.

[@jasonvanpelt3841]

Hello, and thank you for your videos. I have recently come out an abusive narcissist relationship. Many of the lures and tactics are very spot on. The woman I was in a relationship seemed to fit more of the overt or malignant narcissist but I have not come across much information on these types in women. The parts that don't seem to fit with her are the part about her dealing with her shame. She never felt shame at all, and she was extremely grandiose about herself and that no one else compared to her at all. Also she was the most vindictive person I've ever come across. She was always insisting that she was going to make me pay in one way or another along with the many other threats.

[@toomm8891]

Holy smoke. My 37 year marriage ended when she walked away a year ago and I have been struggling to understand what happened. You literally described my entire marriage. I should change my name to PHIL.

[@darrelltregear756]

Well don't waste your time trying to figure out where you went wrong because you probably not got another 37 years in you .

[@northerncaliking1772]

I was discarded after 3 yrs. The progression you mentioned was exact and i now have a trauma bond. She did in front of all her friends to shame me. Its unbelievable.

[@earthwatcher2012]

i hope you can quickly break this trauma bond and be healed

[@jtzfr...3962]

Discarded after 15 the monstress moved onto my BFF while I was at work paying for everything

[@neiothegothprince1767]

wow same years

[@GazaFloatilla]

nice you got a trauma bond? ! Better keep that!!! WINNING

[@theonlytruebrasil]

I was discarded in 8 months , I have and had a back injury that is a problem with my discs and I think she got tired that hurts like hell , never ever have empathy or asked how I felt , then I think she just moved on to the next supply within 10 days , that I’m pretty sure she was already under her wings for months . Fun is she never called or asked to meet me , she just sent a cold text saying I’m moving away , and then when I asked where she never replied , blocked me everywhere, now I know she is living with the supply , but is already tired of him as it’s being 6 months , the guy is doing everything to keep her . I have analyzed her life she’s 25 and have had tons of relationships that last between 6 - 12 months , about the loving bomb yes narcs are good , very good on doing it , you really fell unique , she had one guys name tattoo on her ass , I asked she said it was a boyfriend she had when she was younger , I guess back them the love bombing was even more extreme 😂

[@TheRedding409]

Did this for a year..just caught myself and ended it two weeks ago..She did everything you said spot on

[@MrAxel1892]

I thank you so much for your sharp analysis. These were exactly my experiences several times. Every single side of this kind of obusive relationships you are describing here I’ve experienced without ever imagine women could be like this. This all routes back to a mother who acted probably as a narcissist. Now I know, and I wished I’ve known this long before. I’m almost sixty now, but I am convinced this is not too late for me to free myself. To become self aware. This is so important that you share these informations. Thx for your work. Greetz from Germany.

[@theScarletSprig]

I think it's important to state that being protective, helpful, loving, and having integrity are good traits to have and that wanting those in a person is not in itself a bad thing. You should want your partner to have integrity and be there for you.

[@wolfsden]

Absolutely... for the Narcissist, it's a way to outline a mark or chump for her, but those traits belong to all real men, though each man has those qualities at different levels.

[@marymary1877]

Thank you. That’s what I was thinking.

[@randallcauley9484]

they always find a way to question these (early on in dating, if a woman simply and flagrantly accuses me of lying, unless there's some clear confusion or communication cause, we're done). I go zero contact for dating interests who do this. Nope

[@oncue9426]

I think it’s how this speaker is trying to appeal to male viewers. A lot of them are saying “ uh doh she’s right! This is me and my life!”

[@jackielayser8430]

I was thinking the same thing. I'm sure the men commenting have these traits and were abused by a female narcissist. I hope they understand that having these traits with a kind, appreciative, and empathetic female makes a wonderful relationship.