Walking on Eggshells: Recognizing the Signs of Narcissistic Manipulation

[@ecmshock8918]

1. Hyper Vigilance 2. Heightened Fear 3. Progressively More Submissive 4. Emotionally Drained 5. Suppressing Your Authenticity 6. Feel Invisible and Insignificant 7. Shut Down, Stop Trying to Communicate 8. Constant State of Confusion 9. Prioritizing Narcissists Needs, Neglecting Your Own 10. Shift to Fight Response

[@BobbiGail]

Thanks! And... yikes.

[@ImaplanetJupiteeeerr]

Thanks! Timestamps would also be awesome from the creator. :)

[@mikepiccolo32]

No none of this is true totally a falsehood

[@cassiebennet4262]

This is my life to a T. The exhaution is overwhelming. On top of it if they can sense the eggshell walking and they are being "handled" in any way that pisses them off too.

[@mikepiccolo32]

@@cassiebennet4262 Naw common man quit blaming men for your bad decisions

[@jkevinparker]

I didn’t recognize this for more than 20 years-not until after she started accusing _me_ of causing _her_ to walk on eggshells. 😞 Projection and gaslighting goes right along with it.

[@KidsFund1]

Its really crazy.

[@rogerwhoareyou]

Yes, I never had the correct terms or truly knew exactly what and how bad it really was, until she accused me of being a covert narcissist. I knew she would do things or say things and then at something later say and act as if I had done those very things. She would say things like "you're the only one I have these problems with" even though deep down, I knew this was not the case because she had the same issues from time to time with her mom, her dad, her sister, her co-workers, etc. She absolutely loves to use statements that include "always" and "never" to her advantage, "I sorry you feel that way." These are things I would hear time and again. Then I started watching youtube and started educating myself on terms like narcissists, projection, triangulation, manipulation, etc. What an eye opener.

[@gopherholehotel]

I had this same thing. Walking on egg shells . My lady used every day to belittle me or critique me. When I would respond she would give me the old line . You are too sensitive etc. One day I had enough and asked her to move out of my house that she was living for free. Problem solved . Maybe not handled in a professional manner . But now I have peace and don't have anyone rolling their eyes at me or putting me down.

[@heyoldman2003]

i walked on egg shells for close to 40 years 😞 i called it living in a mine field. constantly watching my step . thank you Lise. it’s been three years with pretty much no contact . but i still feel bad in so many ways .extreme depression being in the top of the list . i know it will pass someday 🙏🏼 thank you again.. you are helping so many of us 👍🏼

[@snozrick]

Well done man, keep marching forward , it will take time to get over this , 100% 40 years of it ! you are on the right path

[@peterbrody3338]

I'm almost over her but I know where you're at mate. I was just scrolling through photos of her this morning.

[@markmurphy4529]

I couldn't imagine 40 years! I did it for 16 and been free for five! I totally identify with the guilt but just remember those bad days and it will keep you in line! Best of luck to you

[@heyoldman2003]

@@markmurphy4529 yes, the guilt does show up but like you said . it only takes a few seconds to remember the ugly times. and it all falls into place . thank you 🙏🏼

[@tonyconnor5691]

​@@peterbrody3338 doesn't that hurt you?

[@BoksCar29]

Walking on eggshells is a standard operation with my wife who has an explosive anger. I have learned to watch what I say, if I say something wrong there are consequences, threats of divorce have been common. Yep, Lise all points you mentioned I experience on a daily basis, I'm not allowed to present any thoughts because my thoughts are always wrong. I have learned to keep all conversations dull and boring, no depth just shallow conversation.

[@kkamp0528]

Yeah I feel you I’m separated from my wife of 13 years she has both bpd and npd diagnosed on 20 medications and been through 2 different therapists I’m officially done but it’s terrifying trying to look forward at this point after the abuse

[@marinwillow23]

Same

[@lanero9]

Yep. I just feed her with boring answers, plain as can be. She will dig and dig for her narcissistic supply. I've crushed too many eggshells and had to listen to her rages enough to get baited in. That said, she's a professional and normally ends up feeding on me

[@foreveryoung999]

She's doing you a favour by divorcing you.

[@Alphacentauri819]

That is self abandonment. I hope you can find another solution. Unfortunately, those with BPD and their partners, both struggle with conflict. One is aggressive and the other generally passive/passive aggressive. Neither can own, verbalize, their needs and boundaries in a way the other person can receive. Neither knows the tools of repair. Often both have extreme emotional flooding..one lashing out and the other shutting down (Dr Gottman's research shows that the stonewalling partner has high physiological arousal, despite the flat affect). This is a cardiovascular and cancer (at minimum) health risk to dismiss yourself. Is there a BPD literate counselor you could both go to, to meditate and help you set rules of engaging?

[@rajendrasahasrabudhe4633]

Genuine education about narcissists. Thanks for the video.

[@PhilConradie]

All of this applies to how I experienced dating someone with BPD too. It was a disconcerting revelation to learn how much BPD and Vulnerable Narcissism overlaps 😢 She still blames me for everything that went wrong and made no secret of the fact that she believes that I didn't give her a choice about the way she acted and about her ending the relationship. After nearly 2 years of this type or programming and repetitive cycle, it's difficult to substitute the constant resultant guilt with a sense of self-worth. These videos have been instrumental in concisely verbalising my disarray of emotions and in starting to believe that the 'shared fantasy' I was being sold was just a pipe dream and that I am not singularly to blame for everything that has gone wrong. Thank you.

[@fpdhu]

"After nearly 2 years of this type or programming and repetitive cycle, it's difficult to substitute the constant resultant guilt with a sense of self-worth" - this is a very important and well articulated sentence. I am now at four months after she left and 2.5 months of no contact. Things are slowly getting better, I am able to meet women again, have sex, socialise to some level, see some of my old confidence and sense of self again at times, but it's all still fresh and I think it will take many more months before I get myself back or what might happen is this experience will just become part of me and I navigate life in a slightly different way. One thing for sure, these people are so very dangerous and harmful and it's astonishing how all we as a society talk about is the risk women are in with abusive men. These KZbin channel and comments sections have helped me immensely to recover, both in learning what has happened, knowing you are not alone, and knowing it wasn't your fault and there was nothing you could have done to change the outcome. My ex was diagnosed with PPD which is also comornid with NPD, she was also a vulnerable/covvert narc. Thank you for the comment and great video. But you are absolutely right, you are being programmed which in the relationship and the challenge for a lot of us it navigation how to Ctrl + Z (undo).

[@Alphacentauri819]

You certainly aren't to blame. While certain core wounds, and possible codependency (meaning putting ignoring your needs and boundaries, self abandonment) do put you at great risk, what caused those isn't your fault. Often we can have red flag detectors that are damaged, due to our own upbringing and traumas, so we don't see some things that a securely attached person would. We are more susceptible, the lower our self esteem was to start. The love bombing and intermittent reinforcement, can be particularly blinding and destabilizing. Healing involves addressing one's own core wounds, self abandonment, retuning the red flag meter. Giving to yourself, regularly, the support, care, acceptance, healing any attachment injury, can proof you against further types like this. I wish you peace and healing.

[@jkai17]

Your videos are incredibly validating especially for men that have been in these types of toxic relationships. This could be life saving content

[@heyoldman2003]

it is

[@MikeJackson690]

That I never reacted angrily (raised my voice a couple of times) did me huge favours. I hadn't realised how NOT getting verbally aggressive/abusive in response was eating away at her. I hardly fuelled the fire she thrived on. She couldn't control me at all, which is why my relationship with her was so much shorter than with her ex. As she told me herself, "I'm a control freak", so she kinda knew what was like. The more I listen to your videos the more empowered I feel. The comments are great therapy too, even if it's sad to see that so many have suffered at the hands of these very broken people. May everyone heal ASAP.

[@nickus51]

Must be my lucky day, scored 10/10

[@thomashennessy3585]

These observations absolutely mirror my experience at home. It's liberating to realize that her behavior is more or less textbook and I understand why she vocalizes differences of opinion as 'against her'. I also understand her motivation in refusing to attend a group counselling session. Armed with this knowledge, I call out her gaslighting and no longer take her bait. And I am able to be my authentic self around her. I do have to keep from expressing a critical though about anything, as that triggers an onslaught - however, this is a minor tip-toe. So, I am relentlessly positive at home - and I have noticed that when I'm on top of my game, we don't talk very much. And when she brings up hot-button political issues or shares a negative outlook from her personal experiences, I find myself saying 'is that so?' an awful lot... conversation over - disaster avoided.

[@stuarthirsch]

All 10 are a yes for me. I have become desensitized to the hurt and emotional trauma.

[@Jason-Burk]

Wow this is exactly how my relationship went. I told her I always felt I was walking on eggshells and she used that to make me feel horrible for feeling that way by saying “oh so I’m such a horrible person then huh!”

[@ryanhogge8]

I was constantly told growing up that my parents "walked on eggshells" around me. Though they obviously owned the space, both financially and socially. I never did anything but hide and sneak around them in order to avoid conflict. But they were the ones walking on egg shells.

[@liber_ec]

I've been watching several of your videos and I understand myself and my ex a lot better... It's painful because I still love her, but I know deep down it was the best decision we could have taken 😓 Thank you for you valuable work 🙏

[@mogenslvendalpetersen9730]

Wow, very accurate description. I've unfortunately been there. It's a decay since I got out, and I still suffer from low self-esteem and difficulty with decisions. Watching your videos makes it easier to understand why I sometimes act in a way that's all about protecting myself. I'm strong and healthy, but my mind is a kind of "faulty programmed" after a life with a narcissist. Every day, I work to mend my broken soul, I'm getting better and it's so much easier after watching your videos because, now I understand what happened. Thanks 😀

[@heyoldman2003]

Amen 👍🏼

[@tristans9006]

Shook me how accurate the feeling described is. I wish i had realized a few years ago what i was doing, and what it would cost me. Better late then never though.

[@jaykay3839]

My husband's late covert Narc mother was like this. I was raised to be a doormat. I also had daddy issues. I was so busy looking out for MIL's venom aimed at me and my kids that I didn't see that my husband was also a covert narc. I do all the things listed in this video. I thought I was just being a good wife and mother. My husband actually had me believing that my reactions to his treatment of me was me being the bad one. It was him all along! I gave birth to 6 of his kids, losing one of them at birth. I had to force him to take me on date nights. Once I finally got him taking me out regularly, He would ask me where I wanted to go for dinner. He said I could go wherever I wanted. I would choose and then days later he would say I chose places that were too expensive. But he never told me that until much later to blame me for spending too much money. BTW, *he* is actually the reckless spender in the family, I sacrifice *so* much to save money. Even my health and well being. At least, I used to do it all the time. Not so much anymore now that I'm finally seeing what's going on. Anyway, I finally took to insisting he give me options on where he wants to eat. To this day, he acts like I'm inflicting a massive burden on him by asking him what my choices are. He will literally try to start arguments over it. Just so he can try to pin the blame on me for making the wrong choice. Just today, he acted very frustrated, huffing and puffing when I asked for suggestions on where to eat lunch. That's just one example. He's sucking the life out of me all while looking like a great guy and provider.

[@sushisam3010]

Look for a good psychotherapist and research about codependency. That's not a healthy relationship.

[@sushisam3010]

Reply: I understand what you're saying, because being blamed doesn't solve anything. However, telling someone else to seek psychotherapy or talk about codependency is not the same as blaming. Psychotherapy is precisely the tool that will make you see what is yours and what belongs to others on a deeper level, beyond blame. Codependency is not an illness or fault, it is a form of behavior learned in childhood in family patterns - goes beyond the person. Furthermore, in a codependent relationship, mostly in an unhealthy relationship, like a dance. Psychotherapy will help you even more to get out of this nightmare. You deserve to live well! I wish you the best!

[@jenp342]

I have experienced this walking on eggshells, with a number of people, as well as family members. What you are sharing, is so true, it’s a trigger, but I see it for what it is, and I now understand, it is very important to recognize this, and avoid anyone who has you in their toxic state. Some battles are best left not to engage, do what feels right.

[@spacegirl226]

All my life! I'm in my early 40s. This is exhausting. I have no idea what my life will be like when the narcs are gone. I won't know what to do with myself not being knotted up in the tiniest ball possible anymore. Thanks, Lise!

[@HistoricallyRomantic]

I've been doing this for 30 years with my father's wife. She has ruined everything she could during my childhood, making it about herself. "Leveling" constantly putting me down, giving out backhanded comments and had complete and total control of my father, he erupts at my sister and I anytime we mention this. This spring after she ruined my grandmothers funeral making it all about herself and embarrassing me in front of family I went no contact. It's like an albatross has been removed at long last. 🙏

[@triciaross1915]

I relate to this so much. My step mother is very narcissistic and a drunk. Belittles my father constantly, very two faced, nags gripes about my children, now totally controlling my father. It's very toxic. We haven't spoken several months and it's still painful, better, better than her being verbally abusive and toxic to my kids, but still hurts.

[@רבק-ג7ע]

For me, it was really, really nuanced. I was just confused. It was a series of magical moments, followed by a sense of disconnection. There was never any rage or anything like that. It was more like a series of passive aggressive comments... and that was enough. Everything else here was spot on. I was discarded out of the blue after a great vacation together. A wealthier man was already in the wings.

[@princesskileyrae]

I just came across your content today & after watching 2 of your vids I subscribed. You make great content!!

[@kjbrocky]

Been hypervigilant my entire life. Don't know how not to be.

[@lawofliberty3517]

Same

[@kim-andrehermansen5345]

Learn to meditate on the regular. Might help.

[@jencameron8124]

Your awareness that something needs to change is evident - you're here. Changes in these unfortunate learned behaviors won't happen overnight, they take time, but you'll get there. Trust yourself, you will heal.🙂

[@Alphacentauri819]

Hyper vigilance is due to the sympathetic nervous system (survival) being on high alert, and the subsequent biochemicals coursing through. You can calm that system, by getting your parasympathetic nervous system on board. That is the first, foundational step. Breath work, yoga (I love Yoga with Adriene, KZbin) guided meditation (lots here on KZbin), are ways to assist your vagus nerve. That nerve goes all the way from your brain to your bottom. It affects everything. Your sympathetic (fight/flight) nervous system cannot be operating while your parasympathetic is. So you override it by activating the parasympathetic. Very, very important, is the exhalation part of breath work, long and slow. That's what does the trick. That's a short term start, and if you incorporate it every day, you are soothing your nervous system. Reprogramming your core wounds, reparenting, writing (certain writing exercises can be more helpful than others), and making sure that you are showing up for yourself every day. Assess what you need to feel safe. Have your own back. Do what you would for a small child, scared animal, to provide a peaceful environment. Be very mindful what you put in your body and mind...is it feeding hypervigilance, or is to feeding peace? You can heal. It takes new habits, way of thinking and being. You will be amazed when you have a period of peace that you thought was elusive. 💛💫

[@leightaylor806]

Having confirmed that I am indeed married to a covert narcissist, thanks to these videos, the other factor is that before I realized that she is a narcissist, we had a daughter, who is now 6 years old, and I feel I can't leave my daughter behind, unprotected and all normalcy left void for her with her narcissistic mother, who loves to have and often invent reasons to become really angry and act the victim, even towards our beautiful daughter. So, I'm totally trapped, and 51 years old, slowly dying and withering away. So, in my mind I say that all of this is of my own doing. It is my fault that we got married, except, I thought we had to get married, because she was already pregnant at that time. We all are literally living in hell. She is an abomination, but believes that "I made her that way" while all along has never spoken to me wholeheartedly, and constantly stonewalls me, then tells me everything is my fault.

[@rogershults5607]

Thank you Lisa you've been a blessing to me

[@bell1095]

Sublime fear of narc’s rage is basic to a life on eggshells.

[@tismeagain]

it's difficult to recover alone

[@sebrura]

Again I must give you praise for the incredible ability to explain SPOT-ON how it is to live with a Cluster B monster. Thank you!

[@StarWindEnergin]

Thanks!

[@LiseLeblanc]

Thank you!

[@jimoyler1780]

Lise, Thanks for sharing. Today I'm sad. Tomorrow is another day and I look forward to tomorrow. Today my love hates me, at least in the moment. It is in these moments that all bets are off with regard to commitment. I have fought the fight since 1988. Married three times to the same love. As I grow older I find myself more and more. As if I'm waking from a dream. My mind is clear though I don't have it all figured out. There is still so much love in my life from others. You I settle for the love I get while bracing for when it's taken away.

[@pauladuncanadams1750]

I really liked your comments, especially about reactive abuse. Very true and succinct. I have completely lost it, gotten so angry that I've mirrored the abuse back to the abuser. That's what they're hoping for, I think, to make you just as dirty as they are. But, sometimes, I just can't help myself.

[@snozrick]

Thanks so much for this video on this topic Lise this topic is very close to home :)

[@Localhero727]

Same bro, help me with my heart and anger

[@snozrick]

@@Localhero727 The last points she made is me in a nutshell , it went from me doing all i can to save shit and take all blame for then it for me to let it turn to anger and become the aggressor , I feel us men are like this though , there is a limit to how much we can take before the caveman come out , then its just more a cycle of anger and self blame. All totally unproductive dogshit. All the best man

[@billlane9173]

There is no talking to a narcissist or someone with BPD they will rewrite the narrative. I’ve been living with one for 39 years and Each year it gets worse. I still cannot fathom how they think My Spouse drains the energy out of me every day. They keep you in the fog. If anyone knows how to set boundaries with someone with BPD, please let me know. I would love to hear any advice that can be given.

[@peterbrody3338]

I had 25 years, it never changed. I escaped and found myself repeating the pattern with another for 2 years... watching all Lise' videos helped as I imagined myself back in it. I suggest you continue to focus on the "don't engage" narrative if you're staying.

[@sebastianeberle9738]

Get away skilfully. You deserve it and you will feel much better and yourself again. I'm also experiencing something similar

[@lawofliberty3517]

Leave

[@stuarthirsch]

It's impossible to set boundaries with this type of person. I have tried but it's turned into a weapon in her vast abusive arsenal.

[@armcandi36]

Leave you killing yourself psychologically and physically

[@kunkunaku]

Yep. I was married to Frankenstein's bride. A total monster. You have described her perfectly; absolutely spot on. When people ask me why I had a divorce, I don't even try to explain. I say monster/npd. And if they want a clarification I direct them to online resources like your site telling them to watch and read about it, because it's to complicated to explain in a brief conversation. Any advice I can give comes from Tara Palmatier's book; run and "say goodbye to crazy"

[@Jen-fr4sd]

Thank you, sadly, this is 100 % what's going on in my house. I moved in with my mom and sister, 4 years ago. I won't abandon my mom because she's 88 and my sister has special needs and I do the majority of caregiving. Mom finally agreed to family therapy a year ago. We're better than a year ago but old toxic habits are so difficult to navigate through. While I'm committed to staying and helping mom and sister, I'm also committed to standing up for myself, in a healthy way with the guide of our counselor.

[@tinam2696]

Funny (or sad) i have used the phrase "walking on eggshells" to describe my relationship with my brother. I am just now discovering this paradyme. All my life my mother & brother have abused me. I wish i had known about this sooner.

[@garethjenkins1403]

Thank you Lisa. You’ve described exactly the way of no life one is under in the devaluation stage. If you’re able to recognise this and can then leave. Not easy but if you’re able cut the hell shorter ❤

[@andy.hello.6602]

My brother is a narssist, he experienced the consequences recently. 8 weeks in physiotherapy for him.

[@MysteryGrey]

I was told "I'm not gonna walk on eggshells" by my neighbor after she exploded at me on my porch for mentioning that I had a dr.'s appointment the next day. She ran off screaming that she hopes I have an insidious disease. I think other people have told her they have to walk on eggshells around her and her explosions. She was not walking on eggshells around me as she was over to my place 5 times a day and until the explosion, I thought she was needing a friend. Now I think she was over to my place looking for supply.

[@RobertMcGuckin-ws6pe]

I just thought of something! Today is a holiday (Memorial Day) and so far it hasn't been ruined by drama or an argument for no particular reason. I was married to a covert narcissist for 17 years. It's been 5 since I filed for divorce and went no contact. I should have done it sooner. Even if you have kids, I still feel that it's best to divorce because all of the mess that comes with a narcissist, the kids feel it too. Better to provide them a stable, peaceful and loving environment 1/2 the time than stay in and deal with the abuse full time. Just my 2 cents.

[@bradleyrowlett]

Holidays or vacations being ruined by drama or an argument for no particular reason. I could write a novel on that point alone. Sadly nowadays the thought of going on holiday, no matter where it may be does not excite me as I can predict with all most 100% accuracy that it will be ruined. 😢

[@RobertMcGuckin-ws6pe]

@@bradleyrowlett It will never get better and in fact will most likely get worse. Life is short And the years pass by quickly. My recommendation is to get out now because without your health, money is nothing.

[@georgesparks7833]

Thanks for the message 😊

[@HouseflyOnaWall]

100%!!!!! Every single thing you’ve said. Everything. All of it. Ugggh.

[@masterhypnos6783]

My marriage went passed feeling like I was walking on eggshells to walking through a minefield.

[@MrJandrade926]

Verbal abuse, threatened, and gas lighted. Wife had the audacity to say that I'm the narcissist lol. I'm done keeping the piece. Once she threatened me with divorce multiple times.

[@colony1985]

Lise, you have helped us so much with context and understanding. Unfortunately i feel like somethings are inevitable and no matter how hard we try things wont change. I hate this illness (BPD) and that damage it has caused to both of our lives.

[@kcameron819]

Ya I’m starting to recognize that I’m doing this around a person I know.

[@mikesmith6594]

Can relate to this video 😢

[@neilkellett732]

My ex partner was atypical something as she doesn't seem to satisfy any category. But I know eggshells, I know appeasement and how I needed to be to prevent conflict. She wasn't overly volatile or dramatic, nor needy; she was actually very flat in the way she expressed, or in her behaviour BUT her moods were so erratic. I did everything for her, cooking, transporting/collecting her etc; I was instrumental in getting her through college and securing a good vocational job .. and she is where she is now because of my support. Things were fine when she was getting what she wanted but other times you just never knew what you were going to get. Cutting remarks, leading to arguments, (never rages and she only got physical violent on a couple of occasions when drunk) It was as though she felt she needed to win all the time and perversely she would start a debate defending indefensible points in what was clearly an attempt to foment conflict. Often I was shocked at her arguments; it just didn't make sense .I never knew anybody to be so well read yet so uninformed, so shallow in their psychological/emotional life. She had a very jaundiced view of the world, of others, most of the time and she lacked empathy, was hard and cold, never apologized for anything; I only ever saw her cry twice in six years and while I would tell her I loved her she would seldom reciptocate). She was also exceptionally mean with money and while I supported her financially she amassed savings of which I was unaware until much later in our relationship; That hurt! She was hard working and independent and while she had aquaintances she NO friends, just me. (I had limited my own social contacts accordingly). Socially she could be a Polly Anna, not seeking attention overtly but she attracted and enjoyed the company of men and on two occasions, in bars with alcohol on board, having a disagreement with me she went and sat on another guys knee .. crazy stuff! She could be subtly but noticeably flirtatious with men that we would meet ... she did not like other females!. When younger she was promiscuous and earned a rep as a girl who stole other people's husbands for casual sex .. she liked sex! I was intrigued by her too and our sex life was amazing, having a 'spider' quality to it which maintained the frisson and prolonged our relationship. But even here perversely, after sex she could turn around and say the most hurtful insulting things. It was so destructive to me and my belief that we had a loving relationship, heartbreaking .. but I loved her and stayed until, after six years, I couldn't do it anymore.

[@heyoldman2003]

good for you

[@Dansteindler]

Thank you sooooo much for your wise words.

[@youtubehatesus2651]

I've been going through all this for the past 4 years with my sister. For complicated family reasons, aged parents, we were forced to live in the same house these last 4 years. It's hell. For sale sign goes up next week. Hallelujah. I'll be free. (I'll be out of here within months, thankfully). Thank you for video. I know I'm not crazy. I'll check back in in a few months and let you know how I feel in my own pad, all alone and free.

[@charlesblassingame3745]

And thank you for what you do.

[@jjgalletta66]

To those in this situation, I wish you continued patience and strength to exit your situation. I know - easier said than done. But, at least know that this random (and very real) guy from the internet is thinking about you and wants only the best for you. Good luck. And god bless. 😊

[@vandolmatzis8146]

After two decades of eggshells I blew up like a volcano.Not the healthiest of responses.but damn,it felt good.Thanks for the perspective Lise.

[@derekmarks8969]

You have to vent in the end and tell them what you really think of them. It hurts them when they hear the truth.

[@Michael-iw3ek]

I love all those psychology help videos. It's like you come to a surgeon with a broken arm, he looks at it and says "wow here are 10 signs your arm is broken!" -- okay great, what do we do about it?

[@Igor.J.Delgado]

No, it's not like going to a surgeon. Watching these psychology help videos is like watching a surgeon in a video talking about the symptoms of a broken arm. Then what you can/should do? Go to a mental health professional. It's written there in a disclaimer in the video description. This videos are for information purposes only, not for self diagnosis or treatment.

[@Michael-iw3ek]

@@Igor.J.Delgado Thank you, omg there's a disclaimer, why haven't I thought of that. After all, all mental health professionals are created equal, and I am clearly the kind of an idiot who couldn't figure out that I just need to go out to any one of them by an Internet guru. Thank you oh enlightened one, what would I do without you, thank you for the wonderful contribution to this discussion.

[@Igor.J.Delgado]

@@Michael-iw3ek You're welcome, I'm glad I could help you 🤗 there is no stupid questions, don't be so harsh on yourself, I don't think you're an idiot. Have a nice day 😘 maybe someday you will find the help you obviously need

[@jaisonstanley]

Mike just my 2 cents after devouring so much of content and undergoing therapy , Narc s are not worth your time and you ve probably realized it, leave that relationship . It's an uphill battle ! I realized it after being in a 6 month relationship , gave my everything just to realize it's not worth it.

[@Alphacentauri819]

@@Michael-iw3ekyour passive aggressive response is unfortunate. It is exactly that type of communication...and the underlying core wounds, that lead a person to get entangled with an equally poor communicator (iex someone with BPD). Hope you can react with less ego posturing, and be kind and less reactive yourself in the future. You can't wish for things you can't bring to the table. If you take an internet comment so personally, there's an issue. Your worth isn't determined here.

[@slayerofsatan1049]

Thank you. This is confirmation.

[@smarwadi]

All 10 points ✔️

[@brucelawson642]

EXCELLENT INFO. THANKS 😊

[@LiseLeblanc]

Thank you for your positive comment!

[@YahshuaLovesMe]

Only one way out is to get away from them as much as is possible.

[@johncrookston6111]

Eggshells and glass shards! I ground them into powder 1 month ago, my feet are healing just fine!

[@Stardusted1]

Remember that pain. Don’t get caught again.

[@johncrookston6111]

@@Stardusted1 Right, I've got to break the mold! i'm too trusting, and needy for reciprocal love, And I was so carefu,l I thought, this time. Insidiousness come to mind!

[@Thedisgardedoptimist]

1 to 10 wow...Where was I in all this.. somewhere in the memories of the love bombing I suppose..

[@Hun_Uinaq]

Absolutely hate it. Just hate it. It is the worst feeling in the world to feel like you have to watch every little thing that comes out of your mouth because you never know what’s going to cause an explosion from the person you live with. I don’t wish that on anybody. These days, I have found I get a little triggered whenever I think somebody is making me do this. It seems to make me want to deliberately do the opposite and just get it over with. Stomp those egg shells to powder and be done. Piss them off, let them decide I’m too unpleasant to be around and then they’ll leave me the hell alone. You can’t always do that especially at work but, I’ll be damned if I let anybody close to me personally who is like this ever again.

[@WillyNillyBaptistBilly]

Lisa I love your channel.

[@yb2112]

Yup, sound's about right

[@Cougs2894]

Walking on eggshells also defines those who are People pleasers. In the end, no one is pleased including yourself.

[@davewelbylivinginhistinyti4796]

Nearly all the women I've been in a relationship with, after the honeymoon has ended, they become so demanding, that most men feel as though they're walking on egg shells.... Stay free and healthy, that's the key 🔑 even in a relationship. That way time always lets you know if it's the right one. Good luck to all. And wishful thinking 🙏

[@Alphacentauri819]

We almost always attract a partner who reflects our own deeper relationship to ourselves. We attract what our core wounds dictate we deserve, or don't. Additionally, if you have an insecure attachment (conditioned in during childhood) we attract and are attracted to people with insecure attachment. Due to those being born out of attachment wounds, there is blind to be more conflict, communication difficulties, resolution struggles, and so on, anytime another person starts to get "close". Many times, the red flag meter is broken...also due to subconscious conditioning in childhood. We don't see the signs, that a securely attached person would. Introspection and metacognition are key in exploring the depths of this issue. Be careful of cognitive distortions and biases (especially negativity biases and confirmation biases) that inform your lenses and subsequent "narratives".

[@materioverda1655]

Thanks Lise

[@Localhero727]

I'm a covert narcissist recovering from a family break up. I appreciate the help and I think you look lovely 🌹😍

[@snozrick]

i question if ur a narcissist :) cause your here trying to gain insight, I think literally 0.0001% of people with NPD have a come to jesus moment and admit self fault.

[@1wizful]

@@snozrick I've seen near 10 such comments and they all seem to come from males. Haven't seen a single 1 yet with a female name or feminine profile pic. So therefore, I believe him. Not that he'll ever fully overcome his narcissism, but that he's able to objectively recognize the behaviors in himself

[@1wizful]

@@snozrick Case in point, there's even a self admitted and clinically diagnosed narcissist with a successful youtube channel: Lee Hammock / Mental Healness.

[@lawofliberty3517]

​@@1wizful 99.9% of vvomen cannot take accountability for their actions, ESPECIALLY narc. vvomen, while many men can.

[@amgod40]

Thanks!

[@LiseLeblanc]

Thank you so much for your support, greatly appreciated!

[@amgod40]

Thanks for all you do. This one hit me hard. I thought I was going crazy and have been beating myself up for years to “get it right”and be “enough”. Now the question becomes what to do about it while considering the ramifications for my children

[@JamesERondonJr]

Can that damage relationships? Also can others be the cause of you taking on that feeling like you don’t feel good enough for her because others have said “Well I don’t approve of him.” Also I felt like I was trying to people please either my family members and/or others. Snowball to Avalanche effect.

[@YahshuaLovesMe]

so true.

[@Trapanzano100]

There were nights i had to close the door from the sleeping room, because she was walking in every hour .. just to let me loose sleep.

[@michaelthorpe3811]

Would you be able to create a video giving advice on how to maintain a relationship yet protect yourself from narcissistic behavior? I have seen a lot of videos and instructions, suggesting that men can improve themselves and behave, in certain ways that can redefined a relationship without changing their partner. Are there anything you can add to this line of instruction?

[@Mzainie]

Bpd relationships are scary. Run

[@DeborahNewell-v2g]

6:59 am. Eggshells yea a mine field, swimming with sharks and so on. It has been 12.5 years and I figured out what I was dealing with at about our 7th year. His cruelty is off the charts and it has changed me, I jump at the smallest things and have become very confrontational. I have to say I will not for one second allow him to disrespect, yell, call me everything from a whore and back or cross my boundaries, needless to say I no longer love him and tell him so; however it 8:13 goes in one ear and haven’t the slightest clue where it goes after that.

[@vwbustube]

It seems to me that Boderline Personality Disorder also causes these signs in the one living with. (There's even a book by that title that deals with that.

[@juliebrickley2562]

I wouldn't be able to do that. I'd walk out, & tell the narcissist "sod you! "

[@juliebrickley2562]

Narcissist people are like walking ticking time bombs.... Seriously!

[@heyoldman2003]

living in a mine field i called it .. hang on

[@russwj]

Bullseye. Thank you

[@ibrudejude]

31 years ; It's all over with now as of March 7th 2023

[@taom9004]

Reactive abuse. I refuse to feel bad about being pushed beyond the limits of saintly endurance. I'm 62 and have self flagellated enough since childhood. Done. Just so done.

[@ryanholton9109]

Once I started saying no, I found out that she was a selfish narcissist. Then I didn't care about those eggshells, those were hers 2 scramble haha

[@dennistate5953]

Walk, hell. I learned to dance, fire for effect, and reload/clear jam(-s) romantically to the beat. No Moe. No Larry, Curly, nor Shemp either. Thank you Lord and Lise. I can still do these things, but for fun, profit, and the American way. Do not follow me, dem hoes b deep. Beep beep! That's All, Folks!❤

[@djmadwax]

I’m so confused. #6 #9 and #10 is what my partner says about me but I started keeping a daily hourly journal and when I shared it with 3 different therapists to cross check if I’m to blame they all told me I don’t come across as narcissist. I’m stressed to the max, she’s got me on 70+ days of silent treatment mixed with belittling rage comments. Wtf do I do we have kids man

[@Alphacentauri819]

Do therapy for you. If only to have someone who will validate, accept, hold space for, and encourage you. While you aren't to blame, we all bring "stuff" to the table. Those things sometimes include blinders to certain red flags. We don't see those red flags until too late. This is often due to our own childhood, attachment wounds, core wounds, that also contribute to us falling into these relationships. If you can have the therapist help you with not personalizing what your partner does, and how you can care for yourself, those are empowering. That type of abuse you don't deserve. You matter. As do your children. They deserve parents who can regulate their emotions, communicate effectively (calmly, clearly, consistently), who can demonstrate how secure attachment works. As parents, we can only parent out of the level at which we are healed. Our children are traumatized by ongoing unhealed trauma, and the maladaptive patterns. I hope you can get the help you need and create peace for yourself and your children.

[@charlesblassingame3745]

How come your videos show up every time my x calls😢

[@laszlonagy9882]

the process of perishing

[@shlomo_jewinstien-Doodoowitz]

How can you feasably divorce a bpd in Washington state as a male

[@waqasshah746]

🥇

[@theideaplace]

Bingo

[@JohnSmith-wo7ns]

Been thru this, even 16 months after the relationship part of me still expects to get my head bitten off when I'm chatting with a female. The problem is with me not them.

[@Stardusted1]

Walk on those eggshells all the way out the door. Don’t think, don’t worry, don’t second guess yourself. Walk out that door and don’t go back. And keep walking for your sanity.

[@IillyMacdovers-cc6ob]

I'm out and f hall. N bloater guide

[@Fransd1982]

This video takes a narcissist as the person that makes you walk on eggshells. But you could easily substitute narcissist with borderline.

[@er6730]

Or any other disorder that makes a person "prickly".

[@raydogloc8127]

I know a narcissist that works at the 99 cent store 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@erickrick3901]

lmao, why is that so funny to me? I got them beat though cuz I'm unemployed 😏

[@Loserkid420]

LMFAO

[@seowweetang2253]

A lot of people are saying setting boundaries. I just want to know how many here ever succeeded in setting boundaries and yet the person with cluster B disorder stays with you. I would bet my reputation that most of you here failed because once you set boundaries with a cluster b, you'll be discarded quicker than a used condom.

[@Melinmingle]

Everybody needs to walk on eggshells. How else you gonna live together in one space

[@lokishvibes202]

I think you're also a narcissist for some reason 😂😂😂

[@breannaangelo6846]

I get beat for defending myself and my son sees everything i have to curl up in a ball to protectcmy ribs and arms over my head to protect skull