listen before i go - Billie Eilish but it's really sad :(

I added some reverb and rain effects to make it M E G A S A D
what do you think?
Lyrics:
Take me to the rooftop
I wanna see the world when I stop breathing
Turnin' blue
Tell me love is endless
Don't be so pretentious
Leave me like you do (like you do)
If you need me
Wanna see me
Better hurry
'Cause I'm leavin' soon
Sorry, can't save me now
Sorry, I don't know how
Sorry, there's no way out (sorry)
But down
Hmm, down
Taste me, the salty tears on my cheek
That's what a year-long headache
Does to you
I'm not okay, I feel so scattered
Don't say I'm all that matters
Leave me, déjà vu
If you need me
Wanna see me
You better hurry
I'm leavin' soon
Sorry, can't save me now (sorry)
Sorry, I don't know how (sorry)
Sorry, there's no way out (sorry)
But down
Hmm, down
Call my friends and tell them that I love them
And I'll miss them
But I'm not sorry
Call my friends and tell them that I love them
And I'll miss them
Sorry

[@KynsonMitchell]

Hey all, just wanted to let you know I made another billie edit if you were looking for more :) kzbin.info/www/bejne/pabKipV3jrFsrq8 Thank you for watching!

[@nouraneismail7132]

Is it just me that actually likes the feeling of sad songs 🙂😫😭

[@06_finley44]

I will literally feel so much better with a good cry from songs- so me too🥰

[@decomedykantjes2243]

Me too💫💓

[@joselynbaro1212]

Same here

[@kirishimaeijiro4902]

My aesthetic is sad stuff soooo- Ye UwU💔

[@nalanisubero8976]

It's not just you

[@jessypan8239]

People in this comment section are talking about the fact that they want this song to be sad because they love this feeling. As a depressed person, I'm going to speak from my point of view. The feeling of sadness in this song may actually sound pleasant, and for a reason. When you're depressed, you don't really want to get out of it, because being sad gives you a sense of security and comfort. I don't really know how to explain it better than that, but I hope this random comment seemed a bit useful to you. Take care ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

[@SmolFoxTrue]

Thank you for explaining something I didn't know how

[@Akira-lb1ud]

am i like this. idk im not well, and everyone tells me i have to try to be able to get better, but i, dont mind?? not getting better. idk how to explain it. its like i dont even care if im not out of this state cuz it gives me comfort and security. and i dont mind being like this. idk why. it makes me safe, and makes me feel close to myself. and i also have this phobia of letting go of past situations, states, phases, or memories. im messed up.

[@jessypan8239]

I said the EXACT same thing to my therapist and she told me it was ok being like this. Just.... Being me actually ^^

[@delaneyfinnerin6735]

no i actually get what you’re saying bc earlier this year i became pretty depressed and ik exactly what u mean. but i’m good now for the most part hope you’re doing good too!

[@jessypan8239]

Thanks !

[@liviall1759]

Me: “Hey girlie! Wanna have a sleepover?” My friend: “Sure!” **Last active 4 years ago..** well i never got to go to the sleepover.... or see you again. R.I.P, Jessica..

[@CHRIS-f5c7y]

Wow...

[@amberoz1339]

i’m sorry :(

[@jacquelinewong549]

I’m sorry for your loss...rest in peace Jessica

[@sophiacastellanos2078]

im so sorry

[@cix_9096]

ølivia løl I’m sorry for your loss I hope you’re doing okay now (you can txt me on insta and let your feelings out my username is lazy_edits1.0)

[@sistertea9206]

Is it just me or does this song make me sad and I’m looking for sadder versions of it because it makes me feel good🥴 for some reason just me ?

[@greta8750]

Sister Tea yeah I know it sounds really weird but this song makes me happy for some reason it’s just because I love it so much and listen to it a lot ig

[@greta8750]

Not the actual meaning of the song that makes me happy but the song and tune itself I love very much

[@lepidxptera]

Me too. 😭

[@StormIsHere143]

I'm happy everyday but I like sad music

[@biancaberenisse7314]

that's literally me. don't you wanna be my friend?

[@sal-xg3jv]

I’m not okay.

[@broseph2111]

Neither am I. I'm hear to talk. One depressed person to another.

[@willow7277]

Please please please just think of everyone u will hurt if ur gone

[@memory_LF]

Jesus Christ guys. “I feel so scattered”. Damn, finish the lyrics!

[@sal-xg3jv]

Update: Over the past year things have gotten somewhat better... I’m now in therapy and I’m so glad that people reached out to me, and if anyone ever needs help, I’m here.

[@eva.robinn]

Shae Sucks at Life i’m glad you’re getting better luv🥺🤍

[@MM-ni6du]

Why am i trying to find an already really sad song thats even sadder

[@reas4925]

when my mom and dad got divorced,i was forced to live with my abusive father,it was absolute hell,i cried every night...everytime i visited my mom,i went out on the balcony (since she lived on the last floor of a very very tall building),whenever i was alone there,i played that song,looked down,cried and thought "what if i jump,no one would miss me",i was going through hell,i lost most of my friends,bc my dad barely let me go out,my brother lived with my grandma and we barely talked to eachother and i didnt have any contact with my mom,except those times i was at her apartment.i remember the pain i felt leaving her house,the tears i tried to hide from my dad...once i decided to talk about my feelings with the only person that didnt give up on me,and still hasn’t.the way she said "i do care"made me feel...amazing? we listened to this song together,we cried,bc she actually understood me,she also told me her father was abusive,but they made it through,i still kinda feel the pain,i even have a song written about it,it hurt so damn much,i really wished i was dead,but i was too scared of killing my self...then my mom and my dad made up somehow,but then bad things happened and they "divorced" again (since the first divorce was like,them not living together anymore and the w the 2 one too) but this time i was at my living with my mom,but it was still hard for me,cus she was sad,i lost literally everyone,my mom found ab my sexuality and shit...i looked trough the window,listening to this song,crying my eyes out,but eventually my mom and dad got together again,i was scared...of what is going to happen next,but i still listened to this song,it made me feel better... year and a half.of me crying,losing people and wanting to kms...i went trough it,you will too,i promise,right now everything is fine and im happy,but the times i get sad i come back and listen to this song,just to cry it out and remind myself im strong enough i love you,stay here for me and we are gonna get trough it,nothing is forever and everything eventually gets better,i promise you are worth it,you are beautiful and you can do it,i love you darling. EDIT: OH MY- I FORGOT AB THAT BUT TY FOR CARING THAT MEANS A LOT !! I WAS IN A VERY BAD PLACE TILL SEPTEMBER 2020, BUT IM GOOD NOW AND I HOPE YALL ARE TOO

[@andyriver8244]

If I’m being honest I’m currently going through something very similar. My father abuses me, mentally. But even though it’s not physical it still hurts. When I had to choose with who I had to live with I chose my dad because he acted like the best person ever. But in reality his mental illnesses got to him. And now I’m currently fighting to live with my mom but everything is a lot harder cause she moved to a different state and I live on an island so it’s pretty far.

[@andyriver8244]

I’ve also wanted to kill myself twice and I’ve never told anyone because like you I’m scared to die. I can’t be at peace thinking who I might hurt in the process

[@nyrie2005]

I love you so much

[@no-tr7nv]

Wow I hope everything gets better for you

[@camomile1152]

i dont think that we're in the same situations at all, but i want you to know that im going through something similar. my depression got to the point where my best friend was trying to pull me away from kms on the spot, and i eventually gave in. i made a promise to her that i would try my hardest to stay happy for her..... not going well so far. i wish you the very best in everything and really hope that things start to get better for you soon. try to find small things to look forward to throughout each day, and find somewhere to vent your feelings out if you need to; whether thats a totally random discord server, or a therapist. even if you dont feel well at the moment, know that there are people who love you, and it would hurt them terribly if you left them now

[@chlo7427]

The video 😢❤💔 The ad before the video : LUNCHABLES

[@swagger5200]

I love doing these povs so don't mind me; pov: your birthday was a few days ago, but nobody wished you a happy birthday. it didn't bother you that much since people forget things. You walk out of school gloomy and decide to head to the park and sit on the swings. you start to remember that it's been years now, nobody's going to visit your grave again; your just a lonley ghost

[@animefreak3405]

that’s just sAd now I’m crying ;-;

[@carlafj]

i'm going to write something about this, hope u don't mind lol

[@allister6092]

Holy shII-

[@aloiv2654]

hold up... do ghost have diedays? like birthdays but on the date when you died?

[@lillianduffy8572]

@@aloiv2654 thatd be rlly interesting if they did. ;-;

[@rhodesiossa6995]

trigger warning: overdose pov: you lay on the floor of the cold bathroom as this song plays. the empty pill bottle rolls away from you. you lay there and feel your insides giving up, watching everything slowly fade away as you listen to the music. you slowly slip away and everything fades away...

[@lillianduffy8572]

this was so easy to imagination..... ;-;

[@lillianduffy8572]

do u mind if i use this for a short story im writing? ;~;

[@rhodesiossa6995]

@@lillianduffy8572 ofc!

[@lillianduffy8572]

@@rhodesiossa6995 yey! Tysm, ill add your name beside it , bc it isnt originally my idea :D

[@rhodesiossa6995]

@@lillianduffy8572 alright, np!

[@venven4873]

I wish he meant that “I love you”

[@djhorizion6670]

I wish she meant that I love you

[@zothyn8130]

I wish i said I love you

[@venven4873]

Zothyn oh

[@akibimi_]

I wish if you can only say "I love you"to yourself, trust me you deserve it the most

[@melodyevans9096]

I can relate 🥺

[@coreyred4442]

sad songs are my unhealthiest addiction

[@DevynMitchell]

same

[@xc6561]

All the comments just made me realize I have nothing to be sad about. I have no reason to feel the way I do but yet I still wish I wasn’t here. I shouldn’t feel the way I do. I should be happy but yet here I am crying and wishing I was dead when there are people still alive that have been through it all.

[@mariamalik6623]

hey, there is no such thing as having a smaller pain than others. yes maybe people have been through worse things than you but pls dont think you dont have a right to be sad. everyone gets sad one in a while. never think like that again. okay? ily. stay safe

[@alsiswiiwwnnw6083]

Your emotions are valid, don't reduce them to you being upset over nothing. Because your clearly troubled in some way. Let the comment section remind you that people aren't as bad as you may think. Let I remind you that you aren't alone. Okay? I love you :) 💛

[@willow7277]

I’m here for you. Your not alone. It will all be ok. I promise. I know, I know it feels like the suffering is lasting forever, it won’t. Because you don’t deserve suffering. You will get through it.

[@zothyn8130]

I dont think I can get trough of losing my friends and family because of what I did even if I didnt mean to but thanks anyways that makes me a little better I think

[@chlotis1742]

POV: it’s night time, the street lights are on and it’s raining. You’re in so much pain you go outside and start running with tears streaming down your face. Trying to lose the demon’s that whisper things in your ear, wishing the pain that weigh’s down on your chest to disappear. You somehow ended at a park. You go sit on the swings and just cry even more.

[@arisafar]

when songs are slowed down you can actually read the word of the song and realize how sad it is :)

[@DevynMitchell]

True and this one is so sad 😭

[@keithnguyen7855]

If anyone needs a hug I got you. We are all touch deprived.. So am I. And I want you to think of that one thing keeping you here. You... You are keeping yourself here, you're not scared to take the jump. You just have unfinished business that you know you need to take care of. The reason you won't jump is because you're sad. You want to be happy, so find a way. You're not finished here

[@lolstudio1947]

Thank you! U know what makes me feel horrible and bad. Nobody gives a fuck about me, nobody never ever notice my tears. I’m always the one who notice and hug others and help me but who’s gonna be my shoulder

[@angie813]

my family don't know about my sexuality, and it's hurt 'cause my mom always tell me how much she loves me... but some part of me know that if she knew it she wouldn't love me that much...

[@xane2128]

I love you exactly as you are and if you ever change I will still love you

[@emmi5815]

I love you, stranger.

[@PoeSucks]

Hey stranger, Whatever your going through, you're going to make it. Keep going, it'll get better. Everything's going to be alright.

[@emmi5815]

I adore the rain in the background, it makes it much more relaxing and deep.

[@DevynMitchell]

Rain brings me so much peace - it's perfect for this cover

[@acmx72]

i am that kind of person that is happy or in a good mood and just *click* let's hear this song that makes me cry af but even sadder ;)

[@Hxtedo]

nothing makes me happy anymore knowing this just makes my anxiety even worst there's no hope of getting back up

[@flarelix1731]

ugh this is great 💕😭

[@KynsonMitchell]

Lumynx Thank you!! I made the picture too :)

[@lepidxptera]

@@KynsonMitchell yh right

[@KynsonMitchell]

Holly Adams Well not from scratch, but I edited it together from other pics lol

[@lepidxptera]

@@KynsonMitchell ok lol

[@KynsonMitchell]

Holly Adams ok lol

[@jesswhite1531]

Yall listening to me right now? Okay good IT IS okay to be sad. IT IS okay to feel lost. Depression will knock you down and then make u think you don’t have the strength to pick yourself up. You do! You can do this. It’s okay to not be okay :) I know how hard it is to talk to someone. You are worth it. You are loved. You are beautiful. You are perfect.

[@ロージー-b7d]

Thank you.

[@Funnytarynn]

Friend: Hey! Even though you're moving i know we will see each other again. I know it! Me: Of course we will, wait for me.. okay? Him: Of course! 2 years later You said you would wait... I'll miss you. Fly high.

[@thatoneravenclaw7001]

god whos cutting onions

[@DavidThing]

I know how to sing the whole entire album

[@ignitemewurblood]

Lol me too

[@kandy172_]

This deserves so much more likes, I swear this sound sounds so perfect I can’t stop playing it.💯💗

[@KynsonMitchell]

Thanks!! Yeah I spend a lot of time perfecting the reverb and all that. Glad you like it :)

[@nightmaregloss1025]

Me: "hey can you teach me how to drive when I'm 15?" Dad:"of course!!!" Received 1 years ago I miss him😭 r.i.p Miguel

[@robinmitchell2062]

It's actually........quite relaxing....I love it!

[@Quincesin828]

Listening to this while remembering how life was amazing as a kid but then I was crushed bye men and family I was fine I had friends then they all left my family sucks this song just makes all that bad stuff in my head go away I love it but I’m not okay at all...

[@Hxtedo]

i'm at the point where i just can't even leave my bed. i'm so tired physically and mentally

[@kasaanscott5142]

Somebody put this on soundcloud

[@KynsonMitchell]

soundcloud.com/kynson-mitchell/listen-before-i-go-but-its-really-sad there you go!

[@KynsonMitchell]

@@aspecialplace930 I don't think they'd let me because copyright 😔

[@juubxrry6850]

Hi everyone in the comments I hope you are having a great day and that you are amazing and talented, keep your head up!

[@luna-il2pw]

I listen to this on repeat its so beautiful

[@abigailsimpson1854]

I didnt realise ONE PERSON could ruin you, your friends, your family and I didnt realise One person could ruin it forever.

[@caterinavietri6472]

my first thought was "how can this song be even sadder than it already is?"

[@laerlokre]

All I wanted for you to do was care.... Was that to much for you?

[@becho6871]

Dear person whoever reads this, Hey, you, yes, I am talking right to you. I hope you will see yourself with the eyes I see you one day, because I can tell you have some awesome music taste :) You’re such a beautiful human being and worth and enough. I hope you know that you do only need yourself to be happy, I know society build up the standard that whenever you’re alone you’re not living a happy live. But in fact that is not true, if you start to realize that you actually deserve all the good things happening to you, you will treat yourself a lot nicer. I hope you let yourself rest, don’t beat yourself up over past mistakes, over regret, and over everything your mind wants to destroy you. I wish I could remove all those demons inside of your head because you deserve to feel happy. If you ever feel lonely then watch the sky, because you know, someone, at the same time is watching the sky too, maybe feeling the same way..I am glad you exist and I hope you won’t ever remove your own spot in this world, maybe you don’t feel like you belong here but, Angel, then build your home here. I don’t want you to leave this world unhappy. I want you to live every little second, I want you to feel alive, I don’t want you to see yourself just existing. You deserve it. Whatever happened, it’s not your fault, the demons in your head recognize that you have a beautiful heart, they want to take it because they have never seen such beautiful heart as yours, so why let them win over you? . You’re not selfish for isolating yourself, but you deserve to talk to someone. If you’re reading this than please never forget to breath and smile. Don’t live up to other standards! It’s your story and not theirs. Life for those who couldn’t, smile for those who forgot what a genuine smile is, love like there’s no other, hug like its your last one. I love you and send you hugs. You’re so strong, you’re still here, and I am proud of you. YOU ARE NOT USELESS. READ THAT AGAIN. YOU ARE WORTH IT. READ THAT AGAIN. YOU ARE LOVED. READ THAT AGAIN. I AM GLAD YOU EXIST. READ THAT AGAIN. YOU ARE NOT A PROBLEM. YOU ARE HUMAN AND YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID. READ THAT AGAIN. YOU ARE NOT BEING DRAMATIC. You’re not a burden to anyone, don’t be afraid to talk, to use your voice. You’re beautiful inside out. Your body is beautiful the way it is. Please don’t starve yourself. Please eat, I know it’s hard but you deserve food. You deserve to eat and drink. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. READ THAT AGAIN. I WISH I COULD HUGH YOU RIGHT NOW, SO A VIRTUAL HUG WILL DO. It hurts me to see you’re in pain :( you deserve so much man, don’t let your emotions control you. Don’t let them get the best of you. I love u I love u I love u I love u I love u please don’t go. I am sorry that no one is hearing you, I am sorry no one is noticing that you have lost yourself. I wish I could take your pain away, it hurts me to see the pain in your eyes. I love you trough my words and I mean it. I just want you to stay, hold on a little longer okay? Please? For me.?? I hope you have an awesome day/ morning/ evening/ night. If it’s night for you, go to sleep, I know it’s hard to fall asleep right now but you deserve a good sleep. If you have nightmares, please, don’t let them fight you. If it’s day for you, don’t start it by such sad music, I know it’s impossible to have a good day with such mindset but take baby steps, start by drinking two cups of water in the morning and so on.. You will start building little healthy habits. If it’s evening for you, you’re probably overwhelmed and stressed, I want you to know it’s okay to feel the way you feel. You don’t need to be scared, of course you’re overwhelmed or stressed, I mean who wouldn’t? But it’s important to know that when you feel that way you should do a little self care, such as taking a bath for example? You deserve to feel at ease and relaxed. And if you are somewhere in between I hope you know that you’re stronger than you think, I know you will make it :) All I want for you is to stay and feel alive. Now wipe those tears away and smile for me, you really don’t know much a smile can brighten someone’s day, do you? I hope one day yours will become a genuine one where you don’t need to fake it anymore, because I can’t say this enough, you deserve a good smile and to feel alive. You’re worth more than every fucking cent in this world. I need you here with me :). Remember crying is not weakness, let it out as much as you can but don’t let the emotion control you by giving up. It’s okay, you’re here, you’re safe, you can let it out. Did anyone asked you, how you are feeling today? If not, how are you really? I don’t think you’re doing good, but you will feel good at one point. Don’t give yourself up. I am sorry you feel misunderstood. But anyone who gets to be with you, doesn’t know how fucking lucky he/ she/ they is :). Enough with beating up yourself for today, okay?! - The stranger that cares about you more than anything. I hope this is enough for you to stay today, tomorrow will be a new day, a new start, let go now. I hope you can stay. This is your sign to stay and treat yourself with love, you deserve it. And in case no one told you today, again, I am so proud of you. I hope you will remember my words- becho :) Until tomorrow, my friend :)

[@kiwixd6875]

Thank you so much…I didn’t know I needed this. ily, and I’m proud of you. stay strong for me :) Edit: I read your comment again and I’m now crying. all I can say is thank you, and take care of yourself man

[@coreyred4442]

This is the best version the vocals are perfect

[@AB-qt9gt]

Hauntingly stunning

[@DevynMitchell]

True

[@biacic6052]

Idk why, sad songs are just my thing 🖤

[@DevynMitchell]

Same

[@Firdous-w2y]

The song, the picture. The song is amazing and sad 🥺 But the picture..? It’s my worst fear. It just feels so... empty looking at it

[@jimininred9778]

Laying down in this bed maybe forever Taking my last deep breathes >opens phone< 0 texts 13 people online 23 unfinished homework >laughs < : God please get me out of this pain >breaks out and cry < >falls asleep < Maybe forever...

[@Ziiiii557]

On the outside I look so “happy” but on the inside I’m a dying mess. It feels like I’m screaming for help but no one cares. I was always bullied, death happened in my family to my close relatives. I’m always stressed. I spent a few months in a the hospital because i “ self harmed myself” when I was just trying to cope tbh I would have been end it all if I wasn’t scared to go to hell. I just want my pain to go away. Nobody most likely cares but this is another cry.

[@carismoving]

im listening to these bc it puts me at ease. and i need to get into the mood for a story im writing.

[@Cozziwuskdrago]

am i the only one.. who just...... loses hope in everything,... its like...i want to always love my girlfriend.. and show her that im a happy person... and even though i know she has really bad depression... i cant let her see the real.. broken me.. because i dont want it to make it seem like she is wasting her time on somebody who is always broken....or crying.. or overthinking... i have lost all motivatiion and hope in school.. and even if i do go to all of my classes and turn my camera on and smile.. my dad still never believes me that i go to my classes.... and when the school internet is down and wont let me into my zoom calls.. i get yelled at and he doesnt believe me that i cant get in, so after i finish my homework and finish everything i have to do.. i go and call my girlfriend since none of my classes are working and ive finished all i have to do... but of course im never good enough and im just lying and i just "dont want to go to class" and "all i ever do is just lay in bed."... but in reality...i just dont want my life anymore... the only thing that makes me happy is my partner... katelyn... my girlfriend... our one year is this weekend and i have my phone taken since my dad says i never do anything... but in reality i just cant even take another breath or ill be consumed with my depression and thoughts... i cant do anything because i know that once my mom gets back from rehab my parents are divorcing... and i can never vent to anybody because im scared that if i do, i will just hurt them like i always do.. so i keep everything to myself. i let it bottle up and eat me from the inside out..... i watch as i decay over the years and see as my hearts tears to a million pieces every single night i fall asleep... i wake up in the morning with nothing but another gloomy grin and my hair pushed back in my hood... when my girlfriend slept over for those two days.. i remember those were the only mornings i woke up to a smile on my face when i turned over and saw her restless eyes glare at me beautifully... as her hand held my cheek

[@nick3917]

Pov: your friends and you were hanging out and then you saw a red beat up truck a black strick pointing out of it you realized this was a drive by you Began to pan-ick you stepped in front of your friend mayli,she had recently came out to you as bi you heard the shorter scream the f slur as he was about to shoot you pushed her into your house and you got shot in your stomach she ran out screaming "GO TO HELL" she cryed over your body you siad " Ily" and blinked as a tear ran down your face "it's gonna okay" you inhalled deeply as you felt her wet face you heard sirens and felt yourself being lifted you were in the emergency truck "I'm sorry she's passed away this evnig" your friend fell to the floor you tried to get up and did so easily your were translucent you had died you walked with your friend out to eventually fell asleep on a parked car just to see your friend run into the street she got hit by a bus you saw her ghost get up from he demolished dead body she ran into your arms and after that you spent the rest of your afterlive with her

[@kait293]

weakness is temporary:)

[@bonbonboy666]

YOU NEED SO MUCH MORE LIKES I LOVE YOU ❤️❤️❤️

[@bonbonboy666]

omg thank you ❤️❤️❤️

[@KynsonMitchell]

Ahhhhh thank you!! Feel free to send it to all of your friends :) But seriously, it means a lot!

[@bonbonboy666]

Kynson Mitchell okay thank youuuu ❤️❤️😁😁I’m subscribing

[@liyaa0325]

I wish he said that "I love you" again. And not only when he's drunk.

[@billnyesevileyes5771]

I know it’s been a while and people probably don’t comment here but whatever, I feel it’s necessary, ya know?. This song really resonates with me because I feel like it’s an almost exact characterization of what I feel most days. High school ended two years ago for me, and I’ve been in and out of rehab over someone who didn’t love me simply because I didn’t love myself. I really felt that I was actually dying inside. I didn’t eat much often and then when I eventually would, I’d overeat in fear that it might be the last time I choose to give myself that luxury. It sucks to know that because of certain traumatic events that occurred in my life, it almost triggered the already bad depression and anxiety that I had and seemingly evolved it into Borderline Personality Disorder. The older I’ve gotten, the more prevalent and potent it’s presence became in my head. I was in a rehab center for a year, got covid, and got put on more meds that amplified the already sinister thoughts I’d have of myself. I’d get these nightmares of said traumatic events replaying in my head. I don’t know how else to describe how strong my emotions are. I guess you could say they are amplified because of the shattered mirror that is my head. I got out of rehab, started eating way more than I should’ve and put on like double the covid weight Everyone got. For a little while, I was on a mental state plateau. Nothing was good or bad. I was just there...nothing made sense and I still just wanted to go. To leave this world. I wasn’t afraid of death like most. Instead, it was the loneliness that terrified me. The poor self esteem. Constant belittling by none other than myself....I moved, I gained even more weight, and then something clicked with me I guess. I was tired of being someone that I wasn’t in order to please those that didn’t want what I wanted. Ones that missed their chance to make themselves more tranquil. I started being my own person. I started busting my ass at the gym. I started being picky with who I thought deserved the most valuable thing anyone in this world can give someone: their time. I started being vulnerable with those individuals who I felt understood and didn’t judge me. As a mixed person who couldn’t fit in society due to misconceptions of who I was based solely on my background, it’s hard to find those who wouldn’t wish to screw with my life any further. Being a Brit, Spaniard, Middle-Easterner, and dutchman, I was always different. Inside and out. The only constant in my life that’s supported me besides myself and my parents has been music. It’s my outlet to express what in the world is going on with me. I’m finally working on my own, for the simple sake that I want people like me who struggle in pretty much every area of life to know they aren’t alone. That offing yourself isn’t the play. Yea, it solves your problems and ends your suffering. But It will affect and cause others closest to you and some far away from you that you’ve still left an impact on heavily. Why would you want anyone else to feel the pain you’ve been dealing with? I know that some won’t care much about that, so my rebuttal to that is this? If you are that unhappy within yourself, why end that? What I mean by that is that you suffer already yes, but why not try and find others like you. They exist out there. They understand your pain like I would like to think I understand yours ya know? Why waste the life you’re given being comfy in your own misery? What’s the worst that could happen? You take a chance and it fails? That’s even more reason to push through your own demons and naysayers and try again. Most don’t even do that. I learned that through my experiences with certain people in life. All I’m saying is, I’d like to you see you succeed. Others around you that love you truly want the same. To grow, ya know? At the end of the day, it is YOUR LIFE, no one else’s ya know? You can’t live for others but only yourself. You gotta have boundaries for yourself. To be able to take that mask off, and be okay with the demons that lie within. Some you can change by choice, and others will unfortunately always be there. It’s just about growing with it I think. I won’t act like I know whoever reads this like the back of my hand, or that I know your exact pain. I don’t. But I’ve had similar feelings, namely cuz I was in a pit of misery. I sometimes still fall into it honestly. But I want you to know that it is okay to feel like crap some days or most or all the time. What isn’t okay is to deny yourself the right to try to change that. To believe what most who don’t know you or your suffering say. I hope honestly that you find some form of peace in your life. That you find the difference between existing and living. I don’t care what race, religion, ethnicity, culture, gender, sexuality, or profession or position you play a part in/ identify with/ believe in and etc. I want you to know that as bad as it gets, it makes those sweet little subtle moments in life all the more worth it. I wish that you’re okay ya know? If you need a support that doesn’t ask for money for an ear to hear you, but gives it out of passion for growing as a people, my snap username is dailystuffz if you want that. All in all, it’s okay. You’re okay. And I’m proud of the fact that even though you aren’t doing the best or are struggling or whatever the case is...the fact you choose to wake up in the morning and push through, is inspiring and brave of you. You are what drives me to do better for myself :)

[@alessa.cortez1674]

i love 🥰listening 🎶to this types of songs wile its raining⛈

[@DevynMitchell]

Me tooooooooo

[@anaaa.19]

this makes me so happy wtf.. like it’s so calming and it feels like if i were to actually jump it would be peaceful. yk? 💗

[@velithesimp914]

Tbh I've never heard my mom saying she's proud of me...she just says ''u're just being lucky in winning do harder''I'm tired of trying to be number 1.I need my own time and stop controlling me please...I'm tired of everyone's shit. I need a break c'mon

[@nicole_morley_3739]

I fell asleep to this!! It’s amazing ❤️

[@ashwastaken5247]

😁😄😃😀🙂😒😣😞😟😥😰😭😭😭🥱😨😰😢😭 - and thats on me trying to fall asleep -

[@Spicynuggs2001]

This is amazing 💞

[@KynsonMitchell]

Thank you!!

[@beach8314]

Sooo saaaad but beautyful😭❤

[@oliwiarasz9235]

Oh my god this is soo beautiful... Just... I cant ;*;

[@roseydarksouls]

Honestly this song doesn’t make me feel sad it makes me feel the emptiness I have inside of me

[@larissakuhn9671]

this gave me chills

[@killy3044]

I was on my worst time In my life alone. Since then I realized that your no matter what That your always alone

[@yimmyyum]

Everytime i saw this song in different level of sad , i download all of it . The song were related every second ")

[@eli7082]

The 18 000th viewer 6/9/2020 BTW keep up with the great work! This hit me in the feels 😭✋

[@robinmitchell2062]

Eerily calming......Love it!

[@JkForLife]

It's so beautiful but sad 😢❤️

[@feelingscircle4128]

He called me sus even tho I was following him because I didn't want him to die

[@bethanyylopezz]

pain

[@elizaneja]

BAHAHAHAHAHA THIS COMMENT>>>>

[@Hxtedo]

HAHAHA 💔

[@cherizy]

respect to you 📈📈📈📈

[@melonkat]

HOLY CRAP, THIS IS PERFECT TYSM

[@melonkat]

aww ty for the heart!

[@KynsonMitchell]

@@melonkat And I'll do it again 😤

[@melonkat]

@@KynsonMitchell bro what tysm 😭💜

[@DevynMitchell]

lovvveeeee 😭😭😭

[@Akira-lb1ud]

am i like this. idk im not well, and everyone tells me i have to try to be able to get better, but i, dont mind?? not getting better. idk how to explain it. its like i dont even care if im not out of this state cuz it gives me comfort and security. and i dont mind being like this. idk why. it makes me safe, and makes me feel close to myself. and i also have this phobia of letting go of past situations, states, phases, or memories. im messed up.

[@unknown-zc5th]

I swear we all makin ourselves sad on purpose 😭

[@ethanstrader7627]

Why when I say I want to end the pain people actually care and say that I would cry for a month straight. That makes me cry because they are lieing to me because if I died they would forget about me and carry on with the friend group😔

[@aycaaltl708]

thats very sad :(

[@Qmcvnd70]

This does nothing for me anymore & it makes me even more sad

[@sophie7988]

Fun fact: it’s impossible to breathe while smiling Did you know that you look amazing when you smile 🥺 I love you okay. Please don't give up. Even if you think that no one loves you. I love you even if I don't know you. Well, I do know that you're an amazing person whos just going through a really rough patch. I do know that you're a caring person who puts others happiness before yours I know that your faking being happy to make sure that no one worries about you because you're a selfless person (and if you're not faking being happy its because you've been faking for so long that you can't keep it up anymore) I love you so much and my whole world and heaps of people that you didn't think cared about you worlds will shatter and their lives will never be the same again if you give up So please don't give up It will get better I promise 💕 I have been through this time and I even thought about killing myself but I pushed through it and I am so glad I did. My life only got better and I and now that happiest I have ever been Life may seem like its never going to get better but I promise you its will and I can promise that you are going to be so glad that you didn't give up Just thought I would remind you that I love you once more okay 💞♡ I wrote all of this but please copy this and spread it around. People need to hear this 🙃

[@Me_ann_you]

"Leave me like you do "

[@_csinti_]

take care.

[@leen_albaradie]

I am not okay

[@aluasuleinen2571]

I just wanna feel..

[@Kochomiki]

im not okay.. i feel so scattered...

[@borasargz5686]

İgnore me 👉🏻👈🏻💔

[@DevynMitchell]

No☺️💗

[@Hxtedo]

hey

[@Remalakaeirhnh__.]

Hey are you okay? Just checking! :D

[@zenobiuch]

Ok- its REALLY sad..

[@hum4n.r04dk1ll]

I tried being happy. Happy doesn't like me i guess. It leaves just like everyone else.

[@april-xl3cj]

wow:(

[@abberr9507]

I'm so SICK of people telling me things like "it's okay." , "you'll be fine." NO, IT REALLY WONT. Why do you even care anyway. You BULLY me, HURT me, BREAK me. I just want to fall into a fucking void and never stop falling. It seems like everything is in slow-mo. My grades, health, family, social life are all slowly deteriorating. Don't say everything is "okay" unless you're so fucking sure that within the next year I'm still alive it really is "okay", because right now it isn't. I also don't want any comments saying "Talk to me." , "I'm here for you." NO YOU AREN'T. You're some stupid person on the internet that doesn't care or know me.

[@tiredflutefox]

there is nothing you can't get through IDK if you believe in this too, but God will never put a burden in your shoulders you can't carry

[@admiramayonez8083]

today group of my best friends, since kindergarten, has almost fallen apart. We were 4, now we are 3, because one person did choice. Me and she were kind of leaders, but she fell in love with stupid, selfish "bad boy". He beats her, beat one of our group, just because he tell that he doesnt accept their relationship. She was looking, but she was silent. Nice 2020. Apologies for bad grammar, have a great day/night. Remember: your friends love you, no matter what, except moment when you are a reason why you are arguing. If you dont have any friends, then remember that there is always somebody who loves you, or somebody to love

[@angelbyte]

Just reminded a suicidal person I love them while listening to this song and now I'm fucking sad at 4:30 am

[@ilikekingjuliensfeet6504]

Can I just like sad songs, I’m a happy person and I’m not depressed because I listen to it 😒

[@Dan-df7kn]

I'm not okay, but I don't want to worry anyone either.

[@aiinaaraa]

I love you. Stay here. No matter what. You deserve the world. YOU are my fave person. You are good. You are great. So please don't leave. It is going to be great. I promise.

[@kallebt.aragao8690]

I think it's awsome

[@alexiia1870]

3:43-4:27 hit home way too hard

[@rain_ig]

Guess who's clean for 2 weeks ?? ME

[@hi-ms6ft]

Congratulations

[@iluvcats10101_]

congrats bb! im so proud of you!! keep fighting it gets better :) i love you💕.

[@DevynMitchell]

Congrats!!!

[@peytonmccormick8678]

I know I’m late but I’m so so proud of you! You are so strong.

[@stupidneko9453]

"Hi, if you're reading this, hi! Nice to meet you I'm... I won't tell you my real name but call me Qelf! Hi, I'm Qelf! Nice to meet you! I'm currently 12 years old and my birthday is after christmas! On my birthday, I will wish for: You to remember this comment. Anyways, here's why! Remember that there's A LOT of people that care about you. I don't know what's going on in your life but, I promise. It'll get better. Just keep fighting! You'll go through some storms just to get to the rainbow, but. You'll get there! Just promise me you'll get there. Promise me you'll keep fighting for me. Promise me. Because I care about YOU, even if I don't know you. You're beautiful. You're unique. You're magnificent. You're breathtaking. You're talented. You're loved. *You're perfect.* *Don't let other people tell you otherwise.* They can't change the way I see *YOU.* Because *YOU'RE* perfect, I cannot see a difference in any angel. Please, just please. Fight for me, Qelf. I love you. Take care of yourself." -Love from Qelf.

[@emmu__]

Im leaving soon - me

[@suhanipathak1074]

Noo please don't....ik I dont even know anything about it but please...we can be friends if you want to...I know it is REALLY REALLY HARD for you but all I can say is that I am here.. Taking your life is not an option ..💔

[@angelic077]

I feel so tired of hiding the fact that I want to die and have depression.. Guess what? I told it someone they of course told me not to do it anymore but nothing has changed,it actually got worse. So don't tell anyone/anybody because for me it has gotten worse and I feel more left out then I already was or at the beginning of my depression. Have a rest day :')

[@sabrine7225]

Tell me tell me please why am I crying for no fucking reason please tell me I’m tired 😓

[@hiarmyginhas7368]

So, I LOVE this song. But now i have depression So, iam Brasilian. And my english is not perfect. Ok?

[@kallebt.aragao8690]

300 thounsand likes for u