Living with Borderline Personality Disorder // whats it like?

[@elsilachance8298]

This is in my opinion one of the only videos I can relate to! Thank you for making this video 💕

[@jaclynflowers7331]

Aw thank you so much, i'm so glad it was helpful that's all I wanted xx

[@Boymom515]

What is it like? The good days are amazing and the bad days are suicidal. No cure, no pill, only dbt, and aging helps a little. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

[@jaclynflowers7331]

This… This is a perfect description

[@blackdhalia9855]

i felt this too :( it sucks to feel so trapped like this

[@carrielove384]

Totally agree! Sometimes I feel for people that aren't as happy as me😆then I can have hate days ugh.....

[@carrielove384]

I'm the Exact same but I get paranoia too

[@Barbiee248]

yeah

[@rosebud5344]

The problem with treating BPD is we become so self aware that others can’t understand. We are hyper focused on becoming “normal” and it wears us out. Keep in mind this is only my experience and I mean no disrespect

[@jaclynflowers7331]

No you’re right! I’ve been told I’m so high functioning, and Cus I worked in mh I’m able to have a more professional opinion too on my own behaviours. I used to wanna be ‘normal’ growing up, but now I’m glad I’m a bit fucked up, keeps me interesting 😂

[@visionvixxen]

I’m feeling this right now about becoming solipsistic like part of therapy is to become self-aware and work on yourself but there’s a certain point of you start to feel like a bug in a spiderweb and getting trapped more and more into yourself as you do this and then you wonder if the people who are helping you even know sometimes they don’t listen to what you know about yourself On top of it I don’t even know if I have BPD it’s a whole complex of things that are like bipolar anxiety ADD maybe BPD some sort of personality disorder just a lot of things and it’s gotten so overwhelming I don’t even feel like I’m alive like I just feel numb and I’m so tired of trying to regulate myself and I can’t even imagine what it’s like to ever have a job or like a regular life again like it’s just gotten crazy

[@heedmydemands]

​@@visionvixxenI hope u r ok

[@awkwardaquarius]

The feeling numb part hit me hard. Exactly how I feel 24/7. No empathy for anyone whatsoever

[@jaclynflowers7331]

Literally! I can honestly say that most of the time I just don’t care, sounds bad but just how it is 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@awkwardaquarius]

@@jaclynflowers7331 it’s terrible when I split too because then I don’t care about my partner at all and it hurts him it sucks but thankful for therapy

[@paulharrisonadventuregearm5457]

Get your methylation checked..it governs alot of this

[@paulharrisonadventuregearm5457]

Most BPD people are severely undermethylated

[@maxb9686]

I 100% understand that numb feeling in conversation. It feels like spacing out but actually being in outer space where there is nothing there…. You almost feel weightless. Another thing about it is my face feels so relaxed that it I think that relaxed feeling contributes to the numbness

[@jaclynflowers7331]

Sometimes I’ll just be completely turned off to someone’s emotions, it sounds bad Cus I don’t mean to but I can just feel nothing. It’s not even that I don’t care necessarily.. I just don’t feel 😬 it’s deffo like being spaced, or like having a veil surround you that let’s nothing in!

[@visionvixxen]

I feel like there is a fog between me and everything. Even now, like I’m in a half sleep mode or not even present. Like a nebula or essence… wish I could sleep and wake up normal and alive again.

[@sonianshimwe8104]

I’ve recently been diagnosed and I was told the same thing “to go and do some research”. So I’ve been looking for more personal experience videos like this one but all I could find was mostly the basic symptoms and information for people who have loved ones with BPD etc it’s so nice to finally hear from a personal experience. This is video is very helpful thank you for sharing it

[@jaclynflowers7331]

It’s a tricky diagnosis to hear isn’t it, I remember feeling so confused when I was! That’s why I wanted to talk about it so I’m super pleased it’s been helpful to you. Thanks for watching

[@lifeontheedge2444]

I've just been diagnosed x

[@nicholastephenson1367]

Some days are draining.. I hate how it takes my emotions to a different level and I have no control over it. I just try and shut my emotions down, and I come across as stuck up..

[@jaclynflowers7331]

try not to judge yourself too much on your emotions, they happen! let them be, enjoy the good ones and give yourself credit for being strong enough to live with the bad x

[@benjamingoldberg1276]

Thank you for this. Hearing people w/ BPD tell their stories helps me understand my own. Totally feel what you're saying about the numbness. For me, I think it's a reflex formed from years of trying to blend in. Most people in most spaces accept such a narrow range of emotions & expression. Blunting the feelings is often less painful than the friction they cause. Or sometimes the numbness is outright disassociation. At any rate, thanks again for creating this video. It's really affirming to hear other people talk about BPD authentically.

[@mindysmith2087]

My switch to depression can be triggered by a thought. It's so frustrating.

[@RealLifeTips428]

I'm pretty sure I suffer from bpd. My father was emotionally absent. He was at home, but just not there. Never received any congratulations for anything, never got a hug from him, never had any talks with him at all. Never attended any graduations and the list goes on. I feel like us men yearn for acceptance and recognition from a father figure in life. At least a good job, I'm proud of you or an I love you and i never got that. If he was compactly not in the picture it might have been better because i wouldn't have kept trying to get his attention. In my culture you're told to just man up and push through. I am 30 years old now and because of this I've never had a true sense of self and still don't. I feel empty everyday. Constantly changing who I am, what my interests are, what I want to do in life. I've damaged relationships with women in my life because of it and constantly feel guilt. Its exhausting.

[@WapBamboo]

Wow. Very relatable and reassuring. It’s ok to recognize that you’re not ok.

[@jaclynflowers7331]

100% acceptance is key to progress 💚

[@BlissfulBre]

I was diagnosed with BPD and PTSD. To hear someone explain so many different things I feel and experience especially the belief that I shouldn’t be here and it doesn’t go away, makes me feel not so alone with it. But I am sorry you too have this disorder I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Thank you for sharing and continuing to share your experiences I think it really can help others and bring more awareness to the disorder.

[@jaclynflowers7331]

I’m sorry you have to deal with it too, it sucks! And so many don’t understand us which makes it even worse. I hope you’re doing okay 💚

[@emilycourt9979]

I’ve been diagnosed with bpd 6 months ago and I’ve been trying to figure myself out, it’s so reassuring to see someone who’s great at explaining it and there perspective on living with it. So relatable and helpful so thank you :)

[@jaclynflowers7331]

i hope your diagnosis brought you some clarity! and i'm glad my vid helped a little. hope you're getting on okay lovely! xx

[@gabriellahardy6636]

I find it really hard to control my mood changes with people close to me. Esspecially in relationships as there is more of a pressue to be loving 24/7 and that is not me. People really struggle to get used to the pushing and pulling and often take it personally. I have avoided relationships my whole life as I often leave disappointed with having a black and white view on things. However when I do look back, it was always me that left due to being exhausted mentally, trying to put this mask on for the sake of not hurting them even more. Thank you for opening up about this. You're not alone

[@jaclynflowers7331]

I’m exactly the same! Especially at the moment with pregnancy hormones I often find myself feeling so bad for my partner mainly and wondering what is wrong with me, I’m extremely hostile and pretty horrible sometimes, it’s hard! But it’s still possible to find someone who will understand and love you for it. I totally get avoiding relationships and situations Cus just it’s easier, I do it with other parts of my life, but you deserve to feel loved as much as anyone else! I hope you manage to find this for yourself, we have a lot to deal with, but we also have so much to give 💚

[@eatingsushi3408]

got diagnosed like a year ago, i have quiet borderline but i can really relate to what you are saying! :) Thanks for speaking out, helps more than you think

[@superferretcookie5368]

FINALLY! A video including a real person's symptoms! Everything I've found on bpd says impulsively is spending 5 grand that you don't have or that the manipulation is (⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️) telling people you'll commit su**ide if you don't get your way. The basic symptoms felt right (and I agree it feels like something is missing) but all the examples have been so extreme I was starting to think I was barking up the wrong tree. Thank you so much for making this video it's really helped me understand bpd. I've been doing research since my last diagnosis (which I firmly believe to be a misdiagnosis) and I think I'm now ready to approach my doctor with this! Edit: I haven't even finished the video yet but that part about messaging loved ones... literally what I just did like I paused the video to do that 4 minutes in 😂

[@jaclynflowers7331]

I totally get you! The symptoms online are so outdated and the absolute extremes so it makes you question whether that’s you or not, I’m so glad you found this helpful.. and I hope your dr listens to you! All the best 💚

[@leonlee1406]

Thank you so much❤I've been dealing with my partner who' suffers from personality disorder watching you on this video made me understand it more thankyou ❤❤

[@jaclynflowers7331]

It’s so great that you’re looking to understand her mind better and how to support her, she’s lucky to have you 😊

[@leonlee1406]

@@jaclynflowers7331 thank you for the reply and I hope everything sooo blessed in your corner❤❤

[@leonlee1406]

@@jaclynflowers7331 believe your stronger then you think❤

[@eugenialoya3034]

Damn, thanks for the honesty. Sometimes I feel guilty for the things I feel with BPD, but this helps a lot.

[@Plsbringtea]

Oh my gosh. I was diagnosed with bpd and I would always look to KZbin to relate and understand how it affects others. This is the first video that feels relatable and not so textbook like. Very specific details that I’m like YES, NO ONE HAS TALKED ABOUT THAT

[@jaclynflowers7331]

Awww thats amazing to hear, thank you! I have another bpd one that I’m filming and uploading next week on bpd and jealousy/ validation etc so hopefully that ones just as useful 😊

[@dooeydessimal8917]

Thank you for this video! My wife has BPD and I am always trying to find ways to understand and help her situation. She does very well, but having 3 children is difficult for her sometimes.

[@jaclynflowers7331]

Aw well that is amazing that you’re working hard to understand and support her, an act like that means the absolute world to someone who is struggling. You sound like a wonderful person and although things can be tough you’ll get through it together.. ps - kids can be very hard when your heads all over, I have 2 girls so I get you!

[@stephaniegonzales9904]

I know it's nearly a year later, but just wanted to say how awesome it is that you're doing research about what your wife is struggling with. I have BPD and ADHD(also a mama of 2) and have begged partners to do the same. I've provided the articles, the videos, the books and they've never even tried. It's got to be hard to grasp when those of us with it sometimes don't understand, but you're putting in the work and that's awesome!

[@nicholaslandry6367]

That everyday think sounds like "chronic feelings of emptiness" I experience that pretty often, too The more bpd is studied the more it points back to A) neurodivergency B) giftedness Making genetic borderlines (with or without bpd: twice exceptional)

[@nicholaslandry6367]

@Niphyra yea I kinda wasn't as specific as I maybe shoulda been

[@visionvixxen]

Thank you- the neurodivergency…. A lot of it or similar symptoms, aren’t necessarily upbringing. I have stuff that reminds me of all of the above as well as diagnosed ADd or sensitive and or bipolar/ a lot of other things. I don’t like this and don’t know why I’m alive while half asleep… I don’t want to die and wonder why I care about living. My head hurts and my body is unmotivated. I’m tired.

[@nicholaslandry6367]

@@visionvixxen that feeling of just wanting to fade away or feeling like you're living in a dream?

[@garywilliams1373]

I’ve had ubpd for the past 8 years been arrested because of my anger , I’ve sliced veins self harming and I’ve separated from the world , in short it’s draining your mind doesn’t stop rushing and life at its worse can be hell , meds not nice but I guess I’m still here even though I feel worthless, love your tattoos ⭐️

[@jaclynflowers7331]

YOU are amazing. I see and hear you, and I am so so glad you’re still here. You’re right, it’s fighting with demons constantly, and definitely not always winning, but you are worthy of this life, and I love having you here on my channel. How are you doing at the moment? Try to remember people care about you no matter what, I care about you. You’ve got this 💚

[@garywilliams1373]

@@jaclynflowers7331 thank you for your kind words , I’ve watched a lot of your videos and your positivity should never be questioned but I also sense your pain and your battles,. Myself my life changed when I was 8 years old and since that time I’ve felt nothing, yes like many battles I’ve thought won and lost but for today the demons seem to be stronger and the voices hallucinations seem to more uncomfortable , by the way how are you doing today , I pray you find comfort in some form but remember as you probably now mental health of any kind isn’t a race but a marathon , stay strong x

[@ashleelessleydraughn6236]

I was diagnosed 6 months ago...and I struggle daily with all these everyday... anywhere...at any time....at any second ..it's nerve wracking.

[@hannahhowe512]

Thank you so much for this video. There’s not many videos about what it’s like having BPD and that makes me feel alone but your video helped me be less alone. Thank you so much for sharing!

[@jaclynflowers7331]

The loneliness is real tough, but there are others that understand you, sometimes it really helps to hear that 💚

[@stacie0908]

What a beautiful person you are!!!! When we are exposed to trauma as a child/young person….this gives a foothold to spiritual oppression, I was 11 and nearly overdosed not on purpose, I was living in a toxic home with an semi alcoholic single mum, who was battling her own demons from her childhood, I was amongst so much turmoil and emotional pain….BUT I felt she loved me and she wasn’t mean too me, she was just self sabotaging which left me feeling alone and sometimes quite helpless! She had weird friends that were into all sorts…spiritually speaking….I’d been in a seance at like 11 years old in a circle with someone there trying to levetate, we lived in a 17th century cottage (VERY HEAVY SPIRITS THERE) and had MANY ‘Experiences’ as a child! I’ll be be straight up…I wasn’t bought up with any religion, and was given a Bible in year 6 when I left the Church Of England School I left…this saved me! Without sounding preachy, all the demonic oppression and influence that was chasing me and my environment was being exposed when I read the words in this Bible I started to read! It was like something shifted, I could feel cracks of happiness, something I didn’t have much of as a child, I felt love when I read this bible! It’s not been plain sailing ATALL my mums battling suicidal episodes and I’m a mummy of five and married and juggling all life throws! And could go on for days about my struggles! I can promise you, read the bible…start in Mathew (New Testament) or Proverbs and soak it in! Don’t let that devil tell you you’re not worthy, you’re better dead, you’re a nobody etc …the Words in the bible do set you free! It all starts in the mind! The battles are all there! And we can have victory over depression, negative thoughts and feelings of hopelessness! I’m in UK (moved from London to Kent) also and mixed race so when I saw you I felt I wanted to share a little! As we have few things in common! Sorry to leave such a long comment…,I really never do this…I’m in my car outside my home stuck here writing! Have a great day Stacie

[@banzyyy7155]

Ty for this, it’s hard to talk to anyone about it bc of stigma. working to get a good dbt therapist soon, best of luck with you in your journey

[@sammihaigh1388]

Thank you so much for this. I have just been diagnosed and a lot of the things you have described is me to a T, especially the mood switching

[@jaclynflowers7331]

Mood switching can be exhausting! Thank you so much for watching, wishing you all the best with your journey ❤️

[@SOPHIEELORD]

Really educational, glad I stumbled across your channel! Subbed 🌈

[@jaclynflowers7331]

Thank you so much, really appreciate it!

[@Maliinaewa]

Thank you for this video. I feel like I'm going crazy and this made me feel a little less crazy

[@jaclynflowers7331]

You’re not crazy, I get you 💚

[@Rachy0122]

This is everything! Everything you said I was nodding my head agreeing say “yep that’s me” I’m having a really bad episode right now and this was spot on well done ❤️

[@jaclynflowers7331]

Sorry i missed your comment! i'm glad it helped, and I hope you're doing better now. you got this! stay strong xx

[@millemaw6549]

Dude ♡ i wish u the absolute best even in times when u re not feelin worthy of it, you so are

[@jaclynflowers7331]

Thank you so much! Love to you 💚

[@sarikumbakkara3180]

I live with BPD.I can relate all ... Thank you for share! It's very helpful . ❤️

[@jaclynflowers7331]

It’s not always easy is it, we got this! 💕

[@Lol-tr6cu]

thank you for this, i relate to a lot of the symptoms for bpd and this video is very informative, and yes the being cold point you brought up is so annoying

[@allivegas]

Thank you for sharing you're experience. I'm thankful I came across you're channel today. I have been diagnosed with BPD, and this all VERY relatable. I'm in the early stages of learning about my BPD. Subscribing now.

[@jaclynflowers7331]

It’s a rocky road isn’t it!? Super confusing time, but with some love and support we can find our way through!! And you will too 🙂 pleasure to have you on my channel 💚

[@allivegas]

@@jaclynflowers7331 Thank you for being so personable! It is, and I’ve been going through some transitions in life lately. It was extremely apropos coming across your channel while sitting at my office desk at work (slow day). I find a lot of clinical videos and though they can be relatable, I have a disconnect watching them. I went through you’re other videos as well, and I admitted myself a while back because of it. I felt that. Truly, and sincerely that you for making me feel less alone today. 🧡 Keep on making content! You bring levity thats well needed here in KZbin Lalaland.

[@jaclynflowers7331]

@@allivegas it honestly warms my heart to be able to connect with people, especially in a time that is so isolating and vulnerable. It’s great you had the courage to ask for help, and I’m so glad you found some comfort in my channel too! Keep on sharing your journey, highs and lows I’m here for both 🥰 sending love and positive vibes, you got this ✨

[@ladyraven1415]

I loved your explanation for black and white thinking, I've always seen it referenced to people "this person is either all good or all bad" I'm considering going and getting examined for borderline and if I do have it, it would be the quiet type So for me I really related to "my life is either all good or all bad right now" because I go through that a lot

[@joemac84]

The amount of trauma and destruction people with BPD deal to others is extraordinary. You can’t love them until they make the effort to change. Otherwise they will destroy you, even if you unconditionally love them, in fact especially if you do

[@jaclynflowers7331]

The amount of trauma and destruction that people with bpd have survived is extraordinary.. and the amount of judgement and stigma we deal with day to day on top of that is even worse. People with bpd aren’t terribly damaging people because of what we have, in fact most of us damage ourselves over others. It’s nothing to do with who diagnosis, you’re either a toxic person or you’re not. Diagnosis doesn’t define who we are and what we do

[@joemac84]

​@@jaclynflowers7331 Yeah for sure.. no one deserves what BPD survivors experienced (at the same time we've all had trauma). It's just I can't find an example of a healthy long-term non-toxic relationship with person w/ BPD (Maybe people 30+ yo).. not saying that as a judgement on you, just what I have seen / experienced. For sure the diagnosis doesn't define you, but in relationship seems partner is eventually devalued, destroyed, and discarded in the cruelest manner. It must be a truly spiritual / supernatural miracle for people with BPD to heal and unconditionally love / bond to another person long term. Seems like we're in this life to love and be loved and it's truly tragic for both people. Thanks for your response I appreciate it (From a 1.5y partner 3m apart of undiagnosed BPD who says she's sorry for everything and wants to be friends while with new bf)

[@jaclynflowers7331]

@@joemac84 I deffo think long term can happen! Tho I agree with you it seems rare to find. I was with my girls dad for 5 years, but I was young then and unhappy in the end, I’ve been with my partner for 2 years now, we’ve just had a baby and are planning another.. our plan is the rest of our lives together! Don’t doubt yourself lovely, it may be tough but it’s doable. We deserve to be loved just like anyone else, sometimes it just takes time to learn about yourself enough to allow others to understand you, took me a long time to reach where I am now but I’m finally the healthiest I’ve ever been in my life. We beat the odds just by surviving every day, we can beat many more 💚

[@joemac84]

@@jaclynflowers7331 Thanks for that.. You provide me some hope (at least for her and her future). Maybe the best thing for me is to love her as a friend and letting go of any attachment. It seems like once something is broken in a relationship it can never come back to the way it was before (she broke due to fear of leaving her country/mom and frustration over visa although she was quite cold and she moved onto another guy right away) , even if she is saying it's God's will we would come back together in future. It's great to hear you've come so far in your journey and can truly love another and form a long term bond which I thought was near impossible with BPD ❤🙏

[@jaclynflowers7331]

@@joemac84 you will achieve it, I truly believe that. You deserve to and you will, you just keep being the kind hearted person you sound to be and one day you’ll find someone worthy of that heart. Stay well and take care 💚

[@kelliepearce127]

Absolutely spot on way of describing, its like u r describing me! Very good video, as like u say it’s hard to find any good videos 👍🏼

[@emilyolivia5737]

Thank you so much for sharing. I really appreciate how open you were, and it really helped me understand so much better. You’re a very eloquent and cool individual ❤❤ hope you remember that the world is lucky to have you.

[@jaclynflowers7331]

That’s such a lovely thing to say, thank you! Wishing you all the best 🥰💚

[@igmybeautifullocz1076]

Thank you for helping me feel like I’m not alone :)

[@akashicklovebpd1264]

Everything u said is exactly what I go through.

[@SylvieFrizzy]

I can relate to the attachment thing so much. I'm really trying to work on it

[@jaclynflowers7331]

It's so much easier said than done isn't it!? give yourself time you'll get there :)

[@sunshinelavender1663]

Great job with this I’m at the point where im so secluded from people because I’m so afraid of “being too much” Wether it’s friends, family or relationship. Idk the more educated and aware of the disorder I become the more I seclude myself. Just looking back that everything I put people through

[@danaboesen7407]

Thank you! My journey through this just began and I am 43, just diagnosed. Currently, I feel like I've missed out on so much in my life, having not known what was going on in my brain, yet, continually involving myself in damaging relationships with narcissists. It's heartbreaking on so many levels but mostly I feel humiliation.

[@lexg1168]

So much trueness. Bpd is a daily struggle. Great video

[@danishaferreira7796]

I have BPD and yes I understand about when you say you feel nothing when someone is expressing an issue that would require you to have empathy. Although I am extremely empathetic a lot of the time. There are just times when I feel absolutely nothing. I guess what would affect this must be whatever state of mind I’m in at the time and what I’ve been experiencing emotionally lately

[@jaclynflowers7331]

It’s rough right!! You’re trying to explain to someone that you’re deeply caring and emotional but at the same time stone cold and feel nothing towards anything 😅 we’re hard to understand at times but it’s good we get each other

[@danishaferreira7796]

@@jaclynflowers7331 Yes my sister♥️

[@Emisnyan]

For me its because I've been so empathic my entire life and it backfired at me so hard that I'm scared of caring about anyone again

[@Blys6]

Thank you for sharing. very much can relate I go from 0-10,000,00 in my mind trying my best not to explode, then I will go on the kind extreme also for a sec then feel weird. I get tattoo's instead of self harm has become a sub. Best thing for me is to meditate multiple times a day. I feel bad for my son he gets it kinda but not really. I've been better sense I quit drinking but I still have my days and moments. wow someone that feels like i do.

[@yasmimahh]

Thank you so much for sharing this! It’s so relatable and I’m feeling so lost with this new diagnosis 🙏🏾💙

[@jaclynflowers7331]

I know that feeling, as isolating as it is try remember you’re not alone 🥰

[@caseyjayne2521]

I totally understand what you are trying to say about the numb feeling

[@jaclynflowers7331]

haha and people think you're being horrible, half the time I don't even know I've done it until after!

[@sydneybruder1743]

I feel allll of these. id say the worst part to live with for me is allowing my favorite person decide how I feel. if its bad I will be so depressed and not care about anything or anyone, it also physically hurts and I feel like I'm dying. I hate it. but if its good then I'm sooo happy and everything is great. ugh

[@HomemakerDaze]

Getting so easily negatively effected is so hard and it taking the whole day and a sleep to get back to feeling normal no matter how much you wish you could smile and relax again because you know in your head it's not a big deal but can't help but feel like it is.

[@georgehardman1813]

First time I’ve heard ‘what is the PD and what is me’. Since getting diagnosed I’ve been totally consumed by it, but your genuine & human approach gives some hope. Would love to hear about any daily management tips / checking in with yourself etc

[@jaclynflowers7331]

Thank you! And that’s a great vid idea. Sending you hugs of support 💚

[@margaretoconnor4080]

Hiya, I really liked your video, so much more informative than reading a dry textbook. It was good to see you again, I have to say that I enjoyed working with you at St Andrew's.

[@jaclynflowers7331]

aw thank you Margaret, was aiming for it to be easier to understand than just reading something so that's great! and I really loved working with you too, I hope you're keeping well xx

[@JohnVKaravitis]

1 Impulses 2 Attachments to other people are dramatic 3 Black and white view on Life 4 Misconceptions and manipulations 5 Frantic behavior 6 Reckless behavior 7 Need for validation 8 Mood switching 9 Hyper-emotional 10 Paranoia 11 Self-harm 12 Belief systems 13 Being cold toward others (sometime)

[@jillsalkin7389]

Thank you, Jacklyn. It's brave of you to do this, and helpful!

[@jaclynflowers7331]

Aw thank you!! I’m really pleased to hear that, lovely to have you here 💚

[@peterb514]

Absolutely brilliant video, wow you are so open and articulate in the way you describe your lived experience. My girlfriend was diagnosed many years ago and (very long story) we’re still not living together just yet and she has a massive fear of being loved and being happy, but she’s as amazing as you and I’m sure she’ll relate to everything you say. Please keep the videos coming Jaclyn. 🥰

[@jaclynflowers7331]

I’m glad you found it relatable! It’s a Rocky road for sure but you’ll get there and glad you can support each other 💕 good on your both

[@ruckerrc6982]

I used to provide therapy as a behavioral health tech in the US Army, we worked under a licensed provider I have counseled dozens of Soldiers usually female with BPD, their issues were always some of the most challenging In your case I think its great that you are aware of BPD as it probably gives you some level of confidence and control I'm finishing up my Masters in Psychology and would suggest to you to maybe think about becoming a counselor

[@jaclynflowers7331]

That’s so amazing of you to be supporting people like this, especially since we can be very draining on others, but still need the support! I think I’d make a good counsellor actually! I’m currently an apprentice tattoo artist so for once feel I have some direction, but it’ll always be something I may consider one day. Thank you for your kind words 🥰

[@ruckerrc6982]

@@jaclynflowers7331 I'm Black 51yrs old and will be retiring to Asia and I want to give you some advice 1. One of the biggest things people with BPD ignore is that they are survivors that is a source of strength 2. Many people say look at all my scars... look what I have been through, I simply remind them that many of the people they consider normal, probably would not have survived what they went through. 3. Many of the things they view as weakness are really strengths 4. Baby steps- there is always something new to learn, places to go and see, people to interact with. 5. The most important factor in life is a simple promise or arrangement you make with yourself- No matter what comes I will not give up. The world can throw everything at me and I will not give up. That sounds easy but it is simply a fundamental promise that one makes to ones self. 6. You can view yourself as a warrior in a fight for your dreams and goals, warriors need weapons so start developing them- Social networks, me time, understanding this will pass, you have many weapons 7. All people have an internal adversary that whispers self-doubt to them people with BPD hear it a lot louder than most and many times confuse it with their own true inner voice. Learn to tell the difference- One question you can ask yourself is - How does this help me achieve my goals and dreams? This is one way to tell internally who or what is really doing the talking inside your head 8. I'm a stranger but If you ever need someone not in the situation to talk too about things- i'm open to listen and give you non-bs advice from my experience with life and counseling. 9. I case you can't tell I'm a fighter, I can never be defeated by life because I never give up no matter what happens. I have been tested on this many times and the one thing that has seen me through is never giving up. When things were darkest in my life I laughed and fought on...It was the one thing I could control...my stubbornness to keep fighting for my dreams. 10- If I had a religion it would be strength and will before everything else - the world could crack and I will still fight on, as a survivor you have been tested and still survived, you have scars but you are still here in the fight. I wish you well.-

[@radicalhonesty3628]

so many feelings arise in me as I watch this video, mainly stress and rage.

[@jaclynflowers7331]

I hope that’s not Cus I’ve upset or triggered you with the content? Stress and rage are 2 of the feeling I feel most 😅 so I get you! Unless I’m switched off and just feeling nothing at all 🤦🏾‍♀️😬

[@linbo4970]

I agree 100% with all that you've said. Living with BDP feels exactly like that. Every feeling can be extreme

[@alilih3652]

Ik this video is old but where u said “i didn’t know what parts of me were me and what parts were the bpd” and I’ve never thought bout that but that hit so fuckin hard I’ve never thought to differentiate myself and the bpd and maybe that’s why I’m not gettin better just worse. But that makes a lot of sense bc bpd makes u not really know who u are and just act what u see or know or who ur wit.

[@yousraeltayeb6318]

I have been diagnosed recently...so this is so helpful

[@jaclynflowers7331]

I hope your diagnoses let’s you get some clarity! Take your time adjusting 🙂

[@obiroman4549]

Yes I agree with all what you mentioned, I had a girlfriend that had this kind off issue funny thing is that I am in Nigeria but all your descriptions are extremely accurate with how she behaved ,it cost us our sweet relationship. But I think I need to get to her inorder for her to know this she struggled with it an it was overwhelming for me especially when she complains that she is feeling off..I mistook that for a red flag and I ended the relationship when she said she felt off 3 times....

[@leigheaux928]

I haven’t been diagnosed but I feel like I have been driving myself insane trying to figure out with I have it or not. If I do have it, my mother has it 10 times worse than me. She has chased strangers in her car and chased them to parking lots to yell at them. She has outbursts where she says extremely hurtful things to my stepfather and I then cries in remorse hours later. I get the outbursts, I impulsively spend money, I binge eat. I have periods of time where I’m just numb or I get extremely hyper and bounce off the walls. I have self harm thoughts daily. I have lost a ton of friends due to my outbursts. I’ve talked to my therapist about it and she’s very quick to shut down the idea but I honestly think she doesn’t even listen to me or she just thinks I’m still “hormonal,” yet my friends are my age (20) and do not act this way. I had a panic attack driving home from my last therapy session because I felt so invalidated and that maybe I just have a spoiled or ignorant personality and that I’m just not a good person because I can actually control these outbursts and I’m not trying :( …it has been a very hard journey for me. I recently had an outburst that resulted in me blocking all of my friends’ numbers and they all went into a panic thinking I did something to myself and I just wiped off the face of the planet and it was over something that’s not normal to get angry about. I’m not sure if I possibly have something else? I’m just confused because my therapist says I shouldn’t worry about labels and that we’ll do a behavioral therapy treatment that people with bpd receive… I’m just confused, scared, and lost.

[@jaclynflowers7331]

Damn.. I’m sorry you’re struggling so hard! I get the whole ‘we don’t need to focus on labels’ thing, but you absolutely need to know your diagnoses! It’s the only way you can learn about your behaviours, more potential triggers, and most importantly, receive the right treatment and medication if you need it. I’m no therapist, but bpd and bipolar get misdiagnosed between each other a lot because they’re extremely similar, the extreme behaviours you describe in your mum sound like mania which comes more commonly with bipolar, again, I’m no doctor so not diagnosing, that’s just my experience. Do you live with your mum? Honestly my advice would first of all be to distance yourself a little if possible, I’m not saying cut anyone out your life! But I grew up in a toxic household and the only thing that helped was getting away from it. When I was pregnant with my first, I used to explode at home! Screaming, shouting, self harming, smashing my whole place up.. and my adult would just follow me around shouting abuse at me that made it worse, so that’s what I mean by getting out of that situation. We’re great now! But sometimes the relationship needs to be on our terms.. the second thing that I think is important is changing therapist, you need a diagnosis, only from there can you take the correct next steps to getting the right help you need! Find me on Facebook if you wanna chat, it’s also called Jaclyn flowers. I wish you all the best, but you’re doing nothing wrong at all, keep fighting! Keep going, your feelings are 100% valid. It’s so hard being young, I didn’t start to calm down a bit until I was around 25 and I’m only 27 now so, it takes time and knowledge but you will get there 💚 all your feelings are valid xx

[@leigheaux928]

@@jaclynflowers7331 Thank you so much! I have told my therapist about my mom and she said it doesn’t sound like my mom has bipolar disorder (which I suspected her to have at first). And yes, I live with her unfortunately. I actually moved away for 2 years for college and lived with my aunt in FL and I was shocked to live with someone who NEVER EVER yelled at me or even got the slightest bit frustrated with me. I just couldn’t cope with the loneliness of being in a new state with online school because of covid. I am just so indecisive and I can never stick to anything so one day I just decided to come home and I dropped everything and came home suddenly. I really regret it right now because living with her makes my anger even worse. I have money issues but I dream of saving up eventually and moving out or moving back to FL once I’m out of school. I may see if my friends wanna rent a space together in the near future. But yeah it was so refreshing to be away from her and I realize what I’ve lost now that I have moved back in with her. She guilted me for a veerryyyy long time and told me I moved away because I don’t love her and I think she felt abandoned. It’s a LOT. But it was a little better between us when we didn’t live together.

[@leigheaux928]

@@jaclynflowers7331 Also again, thank you so much for the kind words you are very sweet!🥺

[@mysterytome4884]

very helpful to know i'm not alone

[@Blindfold-Me]

I fluctuate between being tired from taking care of everyone in my life but stable, or being so overwhelmed all I want to do is cry.

[@trakman14]

Thank you. This is exactly what I needed.

[@annamills1486]

The thing about ‘being cold’ terrifyingly makes perfect sense dw

[@wandalittle9562]

I understand the part of not being emotional, when other talk to me, in my head I am asking them to go away, or I am blank. Nothing

[@TheJellypop1]

Thanks for this video. It’s so hard to explain what bpd puts u through

[@jaclynflowers7331]

Thanks for being here, I’m doing updates versions of these in the next week or two, I hope they help too!

[@an1rb]

Most people who self-report as having BPD show heavy body modifications and usually wear heavy make-up or non-natural hair colors (e.g., pink, blue). Does that mean they struggle with a coherent sense of self? I have a loved one, an adolescent, who is showing BPD traits.

[@jaclynflowers7331]

I was exactly the same, I have had more piercings than I can count, hair every colour of the rainbow growing up, but I have a very strong sense of self, I know who I am have have strong morals and values, so I think it differs. I have heard many times from many professionals though that many of us do rock an alternative look! My advice? (Not that you asked for it sorry😅) would be support him/her! This is part of them figuring out their sense of self and that’s key with bpd as many people feel they don’t know who they are, so it’s good that they’re trying to figure it out 🙂 hope that helps

[@exovit6348]

the obsessing is the worst. I get a crush I think about them 24/7 read into EVERY interaction aa they love me back or hate me. If i decide they hate me its the end of the world if i decide they like me Im planning the wedding all day. And itll switch back and forth depending on the interaction.

[@jaclynflowers7331]

That sounds tough! Have you tried writing out your facts vs thought? You could do 2 pages, one of what actually happened like they haven’t text yet, they don’t love me, it’s over! Compared to a fact like haven’t spoken yet but they’re at work and usually text later in the day. It might help you with rationalising and then impact your reactions. I get it tho, everything is so black and white with us and we look for evidence to prove our beliefs systems whether they’re accurate or not. The right person will get to know this and love you regardless, don’t be afraid of being open and letting people in.

[@PurvaiAranya]

thank you for sharing

[@samlongshaw3076]

Yo, great video, I can relate to everything on this💀hope you’re okay aha I’m going the gp tomorrow to see what’s going on

[@jaclynflowers7331]

Good luck at the gp!

[@samlongshaw3076]

@@jaclynflowers7331 Thankyou❤️

[@harrietwinterburn4128]

Love your videos! Binge watched them all yesterday, love your honesty. I’d love to see a video on how to balance bpd and parenthood if you’re ever up for that? Also, fellow Northamptonian here! 🙋🏻‍♀️

[@jaclynflowers7331]

thats a great video idea, im sure its on my list.. keep an eye out ill make sure its coming soon :)

[@Blue_Ocean720]

Sooo….sometimes my girlfriend goes from being really happy where we are laughing and cuddling and then something I will say will irritate her a bit, something which I didn’t mean as offensive and then she flips into being extremely angry and then even once I reassure her there’s no reason to be angry anymore she stays mad for a long time gets really cold and has a hard time letting it go and goes from being lovey dovey with me to accusing me that I dont really love her. How do I deal with this? Is there a way to cheer her up? Is it a trust issue will it be there forever? We have been together a little over a year and both want to get married but if I will be with her for the long run I am hoping there’s a way to work through this.

[@ZOELECTA]

This is so sweet. I pray you get answers.

[@SpacemanMashups]

Thank you for making this video

[@HornetBojan]

Great info., to the point ...

[@shadow_entity9191]

The thing I realized is that BPD and Aspergers is a very bad combination when things go bad... Tbh I haven't watched a video that I could relate to this much.

[@StylezMajorMusic]

Me and my former girlfriend broke up recently, she told me, in the beginning, she had borderline I didn't know what it was, as the relationship played out I started doing research because of some of her behaviors, in the early stages it was lots of pedastal idealization, I had just broken up with my ex who I belive was a narc maybe and the new bpd girl lets call her Mariah made me feel so good, I always told her she was treating me how I always wished I was treated, little did I know what I was in for LMFAO As soon as we were super official let's say like 5 months in, she started getting really clingy almost smothering, now I know why because of the abandonment issues. I would never cheat on this girl I am loyal and I loved her and I trusted her, but she never trusted me. I would see her get jealous over things that made zero sense. Eventually, I started pulling away in fear of losing my freedom, I couldn't;'t even go to the pub with my boys or let alone look at another girl without some remark. I eventually stopped having sex with her because of this, I lost my attraction. Then I would be guilt-tripped very bad for this, I eventually ended it after. 1.5 years because I couldn't take the constant nag, nothing was ever good enough. I loved this girl and had compassion for her now that I understood what BPD was I myself was ADHD and super CO Dependent. After the break up she started being super impulsive, doing drugs and finding a new partner, which turned into her getting pregnant ect all in one month of us breaking up. We tried to get back together just before she got pregnant but it was a mistake, then she went full-on with the next guy. I was completely devalued and ghosted not even willing to be civil friends . I miss this person dearly, and she recently texted me and we talked on phone and she says she still loves me ect, but she is in a crazy place, she told me her life doesn't seem real. It was sad because I could just tell she was going through it mentally, she was just like my life has changed drastically. She thinks this new partner is going to be the next perfect man she told me, and was saying how bad I was and now she knows how to find the right guy. The new guys is 18 years her elder , gave her an std, got her pregnant now wants to mary her and move her into his place an hour away within one month. I was like wow, ok well good luck. I was hurt initially with the news because it just made me realize how are dreams kids, and family failed. But I knew deep down it was never going to happen so I made peace, it was hard to lose a best friend though and be devalued. As a borderline can you help me understand everything?

[@Tinaf271]

your ex girlfriend didn't feel worthy enough of you and felt like she was going to get cheated on (abandoned) so in her head if she kept you close then that calmed those thoughts a little bit and created some trust and intimacy between the two of you. She left you before you could leave her bc her fear of being abandoned was so great that she made that delusion become a reality. (we really do create our lives from our thoughts). She became irrational and did a bunch of crazy stuff bc of her unstable sense of self (which gets ramped up during times of stress, like your breakup). She probably really did love you and want all those things. (talking from bpd personal experience).

[@skylerthecreative2164]

Thank you so much for sharing. I am going to have my husband watch in hopes it helps him

[@jaclynflowers7331]

Aw I hope it does too, thank you for being a part of my channel 💚

[@skylerthecreative2164]

@@jaclynflowers7331 So happy I found it, he's struggling and seeing you speak about BPD gives me hope!! Thank Youuuu:)

[@skylerthecreative2164]

are you on Instagram?

[@skylerthecreative2164]

nevermind I see the link now!

[@jaclynflowers7331]

@@skylerthecreative2164 it’s hard, it really can feel so isolating! But it’s great that you’re supporting him.. you can journey through this together 🥰

[@weeklyweeks7545]

Literally everyone feels these emotions the problem is BPD individuals act on them relentlessly without fully thinking about the consequences of their actions or how it may impact someone else. So they are doing onto others what they fear the most, it’s toxic as all hell.

[@jaclynflowers7331]

I actually find that most people with bpd are highly empathetic and caring and consider other peoples feelings massively, deffo don’t agree that they don’t care either. These symptoms would be more common in a narcissistic personality disorder diagnosis (and even then not always the case at all) not a borderline one. If a person is toxic then a person is toxic, bpd isn’t a deciding factor in that

[@BinahAtala]

Sometimes i just switch off.........is just nothing, is just blanck. 100% yes, this. What part of me is BPD whats is me.....i cant tell, is so engrane in my life and career that i cant tell.

[@bipolarorbit]

Nice video) I also have BPD and bipolar disorder

[@jaclynflowers7331]

Thank you 🥰

[@jamesstewartwilliams]

I'm a 23 year old guy from London and I also have quiet BPD (Or silent EUPD). It's like having Chlorine Trifluoride for emotions - and they are probably just as flammable! Edit: I really like your heart on cheek tattoo - is that a nod to Marina and the Diamonds?

[@jaclynflowers7331]

Yeah I’d deffo say we’re hot headed 😅 thank you! It actually isn’t.. just something I wanted but seems to be annoyingly common now haha

[@jamesstewartwilliams]

​@@jaclynflowers7331 We are hotheads indeed 😆 make sure you watch 'How to be a heartbreaker' by Marina and the Diamonds - your tattoo is lovely! 👍🏼

[@AuraEsteem]

I know for sure I have it ….

[@bevanbuckwheatshea5520]

You need a clinical diagnosis

[@nicholaslandry6367]

"You ever have that mood..."

[@nicolejoseph8467]

I know what you mean...

[@kimberleymccabe4151]

I was diagnosed with it when i was 20 and again in the ward at 25 i struggle with attachment badly

[@jaclynflowers7331]

Attachment is so hard, I now go completely the other way to protect myself and don’t attach to anything or anyone, which isn’t any better!

[@belle3055]

Thank you🙏🏾💗

[@oldsold1268]

Thanks You echo me Matt in Texas

[@aliceaimee9463]

❤️❤️❤️

[@jaclynflowers7331]

Thanks for watching xxxx

[@HomemakerDaze]

P.S you're so pretty

[@slattslime8245]

Thank you

[@jaclynflowers7331]

thank you for watching :)

[@kreaturs_kave]

Well done

[@jaclynflowers7331]

Thanks you much appreciated 😊

[@productiveplanning8645]

Is it just me or do you scroll until you find someone that looks like you

[@jaclynflowers7331]

I can’t say I find a huge amount of people that look like me 😅

[@bethwakefield7201]

Your literally explaining me 😂

[@jaclynflowers7331]

😂 So glad it's relatable though, next one will be on all the good bits!!

[@AuraEsteem]

You’re gorgeous

[@Gooner27]

I was Mia diagnosed with depression for years . Take so long to get the right diagnosis. You are are ridiculously hot btw

[@jaclynflowers7331]

Being mis diagnosed is the worst, especially when you KNOW you’re right but people won’t listen, glad we both got there in the end though! And thanks 😊

[@kandiced9182]

but can we talk about how beautiful you are? stunning xo

[@kandiced9182]

IFS therapy has helped me come to terms with the parts of myself i despise and punish. and the punishing parts, as well. not dx with BPD, have had many therapists over the years and no one said i have BPD, but i relate heavily to BPD people. so, self-diagnosed. and IFS has really helped me accept the bits of me i cant stand. and learned to work with it, rather than hate it.

[@painoftheheart12]

Why you gotta call me out like this

[@jaclynflowers7331]

Soz 😅

[@HardToBeAPoopGod]

unrelated but are you vegan?

[@jaclynflowers7331]

Yes I am 😁🌱💚

[@HardToBeAPoopGod]

@@jaclynflowers7331 hell yeah! 🌿

[@jaclynflowers7331]

@@HardToBeAPoopGod Yas plant powerrrrr ✋🏾💚