"It was one rule for the elders, another for my son!" - A conversation with Oliver Robillet

[@dougobrien4877]

I learned through experience that being an elder puts a major strain on a marriage. When I resigned my wife, now ex, openly admitted that she resented me becoming an elder. I was an elder for nearly ten years. I learned what a joke being an elder was. The backbiting, the politics, the squabbling, I got sick of it.

[@irresistible743]

Did your wife feel resentment as about all time taken up by elder responsibilities for example having to stay late after mid week evening meetings waiting outside in the car with your children (if you had them)when they had school the next day? It must have been exhausting.

[@dougobrien4877]

@@irresistible743 Absolutely. I could feel the resentment and she retaliated by treating me very coldly. There were additional reasons she behaved this way…she married me for selfish reasons and was never in love with me. She divorced me on unscriptural grounds in 2001 which left me in limbo never being free to remarry. She is still a jw and still unmarried.

[@Cusemagic]

@@dougobrien4877 go and get married

[@mcpascaln6779]

@@dougobrien4877 You says that,' She is still a jw and still unmarried'. What a loss for her! No one in the congregation would like to marry her or may be, there is a not a good match.

[@petalparker5]

I agree. Being an elder shuts out and alienates the very person who is supposed to be your best friend - your marriage mate. Effectively driving a wedge through the heart of the marriage.

[@saffronhammer7714]

Mercy has nothing to do with disfellowshipping or the judicial committee arrangement.

[@saffronhammer7714]

It always floors me when people talk about disfellowshipping “being done the wrong way,” as of there is any fairness, justice or love in any disfellowshipping. It is entirely cult control and arbitrary-even if the elders follow the official rules.

[@davidburroughs2244]

Especially if they follow the "rules" and the mess begins when they stretch it in a wrong way that instead of protecting the congregation and correcting the person and bringing them back but are actually flexing their power and control over others in service to a book, donations of monies and inheritances, and a properties sales corporation.

[@saffronhammer7714]

@@davidburroughs2244 "Protecting the congregation" from what? Correcting what? It is all just man made rules. If someone has actually harmed someone, call the police. Other than that it is none of any one;s business.

[@petalparker5]

Exactly. The whole process is just weaponised ostracism.

[@charlotte-mg9wj]

Excellent point, there's no right way.

[@davidburroughs2244]

I entirely agree they are doing it wrong. Many times I've seen elders flowing the instructions from the GB and great harm being done to the congregations by not taking serious csa and other criminal matters to the police. Their error is the same as the catholics, etc., who feel fine about protecting the reputation of their congregations and too bad criminals get to carry on under a misbegotten shroud of "gods will take care of everything" any the safety of the people is left at further risk.

[@SteamAllchill]

In my cong. An elder from A very prominent family in the cult was disfellowshiped for a year for leaving his wife for a young sister. He was back in a year serving as an elder giving a talk about sexual immorality

[@ericcooper6575]

Well at least he's an expert on the subject matter i guess.

[@knowthyself8233]

🤣🤦🏿‍♂️

[@adelachavez7894]

I guess it is who you know. Not fair but that is how this religion works sometimes.

[@SteamAllchill]

@@ericcooper6575 lol😛

[@Ava2969ny]

@Steam8859 All chill - did he reconcile with his wife? -- if so, what happened to the younger sister? -- unbelievable!

[@pauldaignault7407]

Many wives like being married to an elder because it allows them to present themselves as a minister’s wife both in the congregation and in their public life. They feel that they are above others and their views should be respected because of their status. Just a bunch of BS.

[@williameramsey1896]

Along with the fact that those wives have no respect for their coward husbands and basically run the relationship through secrets and blackmail.

[@gramking3222]

Many of them the wives enjoy the self righteous role of being elderettes

[@stevenclarke5606]

This is the only position of power available to female witnesses

[@foxiedogitchypaws7141]

@@stevenclarke5606 so they use the Wednesday afternoon gossips car groups, after the ones would go home after Wednesday morning, what was left was the gossip group.

[@yahis8011]

And you can best believe they know everyone’s personal business from the late nite pillow talk!

[@60th60th]

Seems like a lot of people's time is spent policing and snitching on each other.

[@squaresided]

Or worse Elder's sons or daughters definitely get away with so much more.

[@saffronhammer7714]

That is usually the way,

[@foxiedogitchypaws7141]

It goes on All The Time. They do what ever , when ever, becoming the newest next narcissists

[@FishOuttaWater26]

Theyre extremely snobby too. I cant count how many times ive been snubbed and given snobby dirty looks by elders wives and their children. 🙄

[@byebyewatchtower]

Enjoyed this interview. He is fortunate that his immediate family are not Jehovah's Witnesses. The costs are not as heavy. Oliver weighed his losses. Unfortunately, in order to get out, he committed Adulatory. Which is so common with the Jehovah's Witnesses. The collusion within the leadership is so widespread. Rules for thee leadership, not for publishers. Glad he is out and living a better life.

[@byebyewatchtower]

@@Peekaboo-Kitty my fault. Adultery.

[@sadxsap2268]

It’s funny because his side of the family is the side of the family that always treated me with unconditional love and included me in things as a kid. My mother’s side of the family (JW’s) didn’t talk or include me or talk to me due to bad blood with my parents. Madness

[@orobiller1]

I am. Thank you

[@Zeds-Dead]

Don’t say anything sweep it all under the carpet and live in disney land fake life while people like myself left with un answer questions. Keep up the videos Lloyd good work Luke from UK 🇬🇧

[@scoremat]

I really feel empathy for this guy... his indoctrination is so deep and strong, he still speaks just like a JW using all the lingo, and is obviously so very hurt & upset over organizational slights - I wish you healing and peace, I hope that you can move past this! We all know it is not easy. Salúte!

[@ratta2006]

I guess...he only left 12 months ago...he's fresh out...Takes time..

[@foxiedogitchypaws7141]

I hope he lives his life now the way he wants to without having a microscope watching every move and watching him every minute and being the ' topic of conversation '

[@charlesjames1464]

Once a JW always a JW.. When this cult gets hold of you, they never let you go.

[@scoremat]

@@charlesjames1464 that's why you break free and seize back control of your life... that's how they let go. You make them let go by seeing the real truth for yourself! I broke their grip of indoctrination, but I was in from birth and it is still an ongoing process

[@orobiller1]

Don’t worry about me guys I am doing fantastic. Yes the lingo is still fresh in my mind but I think it can be beneficial to people who have recently come out and understand that lingo. Hope you are all doing good!!

[@saffronhammer7714]

No person should be in the position to judge another. And there is no “correct way” to DF. What consenting adults do is no one’s business . If someone is truly being harmed, call the police. Even having a Judicial Committee, to hear someone’s “sins” and then judge the person either worthy of forgiveness or not, is extremely unhealthy, damaging and even lethal . It sounds like when his own loved one was involved he felt differently about the arrangement. His son’s experience sounds very commonplace from my experience and all I has heard from fellow exJWs.

[@kathyborthwick6738LakotaEmoji]

Precisely!

[@deborahd4310]

I was in the same position as your son when it it came to getting reinstated. When I was disfellowshipped about 6 months later I asked an elder from my JC what I needed to do to be reinstated. He said, you can't be reinstated, you're too depressed. I had no idea depression was a reason to not reinstate someone. There goes any "loving kindness" coming from the elders. Those were the best words ever said to me but at the time, I just didn't know it. Anyway my response was, I would never go back and I held true to my words I said over 30 years ago.

[@Martinj1417]

As a former elder of 5 years, everything he said was 100% correct. There is a double standard for elders and pubs. I saw elders doing wrong doing and nothing happening to them. But pubs doing the same thing and getting dfd.

[@Ava2969ny]

@Martinj1417 - my comment is late, but that's insane, that an elder would get a "pass" for the same offence that was committed by a pub who has to go through the trauma of being dfd.

[@saffronhammer7714]

Elder Scenario: child has been raped. "Correct " response? call Watchtower's legal department. RED FLAG. 🚩

[@petalparker5]

If it’s any consolation there is no such thing as a “good elder”. Being an elder is just a guy with a worthless title based on nonexistent qualifications expected to follow without question a collection of nonsensical directions and protocols.

[@joanferguson4194]

Wow, well said! When you see behind the curtain it’s quite a shock to realize elders are uneducated, uninformed buffoons who haven’t a clue how to shepherd the people under their watch. It was my experience that most of them function as spies who report back to HQ. I also learned some of them in their private lives are up to no good. The elder that counselled me when I went to tell him about my abusive JW husband he told me to go home, suck it all up and keep my mouth shut. Years later I discovered he was a wife beater whose wife was a frequent visitor at the ED in the hospital I worked in. She ended up in the OR after one beating. Last time I checked he was still an elder!

[@alans.wendelschafer6588]

I know of one. I reported to an elder about how a friend of mine uploaded an Apostate video. The elder told me to talk to him to make sure of the facts before reporting. I talked to said friend. Just a five minute phone call, and my faith in the religion never recovered.

[@yvonne3903]

@@joanferguson4194 sounds like my father in law

[@kimbarbour7095]

This was such a great experience to hear about. Way to go waking up (along with your son) Oliver!

[@janedoe8446]

Well, well Lloyd, you just MUST have picked up on this at: 00:31:56 "I started watching KZbin channels, there was a guy who had one called 'John Cedar' or something like that"... lol.. did he ever realize that was YOU as well?... ;) (great interview btw)

[@ResearchThis]

I'm sure he knows now 🤣🤣🤣

[@phoenixchick5088]

Dang, LAPD in the 90s?! He avoided joining the monsters w guns and joined the monsters w bibles.

[@michellejarvis7878]

Very early in the interview I bet with myself that the treatment of his son was the result of conflict with an elder. I've seen it. If anyone goes up against an elder they are very hard on them and their relatives, especially the kids. His son's emotional state during the disfellowshipping was the result of the trauma of exposing an intimate situation to people who were callous and out to punish. So sorry. Glad to hear he and the young lady are doing well. Congratulations on your first grandbaby.

[@HaydenHoneywood]

Thanks Oliver and Lloyd. Fascinating interview and a lot of stuff that I can relate to in the treatment by elders. I can't believe the double standards that exist in the organization. It's astounding.

[@margaretfrenkel408]

I was also brought up Catholic, and when I began studying the Bible with JWs was amazed at how much more I learned about the Scriptures. His feelings at the beginning really mirrored mine. And it all happened well before there was an internet brimming with information.

[@phoenixchick5088]

Same here

[@alans.wendelschafer6588]

My PIMI dad grew up Lutheran and thought the same thing when he was studying with the J-Dubs.

[@Gr8day]

Oliver brought back memories of the “making sense” statement, but love his end of interview advice. Research ALL angles! The good & bad. Check out the information from people who have left & especially WHY! The pros yep but especially the cons. The cult characteristics and the destruction of doctrine on family. The truth about the lies!

[@kylitapolita]

Thank you for sharing your story Oliver. I love these videos Lloyd of others sharing their stories.

[@saffronhammer7714]

Who cares a fig about “sins”, let alone ranking them? If it’s not a crime, let it go. If it is a crime, report to the police.

[@saffronhammer7714]

@NonCoinCollector Yes!

[@williameramsey1896]

Simple.

[@ResearchThis]

My thoughts Exactly 💯

[@ms.anonymousinformer242]

There are many "crimes" that are not bad actions,harmful actions OR wrong at all. Being in the cult think mindset of government/authority is just as bad as religion.

[@ResearchThis]

@@ms.anonymousinformer242 what crimes are those? They must be harmful to someone, or why would you refer to it as a crime? I think you are talking about "sins" maybe? We are saying if you think it IS a crime, report it to police.

[@catmeow333]

I wonder how this would’ve played out if the elders WIFE had made such a remark (Creep Meter red-line) !!

[@ResearchThis]

Lloyd, you got skills. Your reactions and hard questions were so genuine and spot on. Interesting interview, well done.

[@saffronhammer7714]

They can and will disfellowship a member for any reason, even a non defined one, I’m absentia and even without informing the member.

[@markhoyle2988]

My experience has told me It's all totally arbitrary. Just absolute nonsense.

[@saffronhammer7714]

Exactly

[@Sittingstraight12]

I totally understand your anger in this. ESP. How a private matter led your son to be DF’ed and this elder got away with his actions, when the matter was public. One of the many flaws this org has, they don’t even apply their scriptures.. (Matt 18:15-17) if you have a problem with your brother….. first the A-hole elder did not handle this right. Your anger towards him for patting your wife’s butt and not apologizing to her.. I too want would have wanted discipline to him. My son was DF’ed because of heavy petting with a girl he was kinda seeing. Before it happened, they both got counseled the 1st time, because they went to the elders ( the guilt factor) on the 2nd time HE IS THE ONE WHO GETS DF. She didn’t, and then within a year, while he was DF’ed.. she married his best friend.

[@kellyevans207]

Enjoyed this interview Lloyd. And what a great attitude Oliver. Thanks for sharing your story, your never too old to learn

[@catmeow333]

Maybe the next New Light will be that the ‘new system’ will be announced as an invisible transition which will take 1,000 years to reach perfection ? I just shudder to think of how they’ll implement armageddon.

[@davidburroughs2244]

I reckon not, it's the "it's any minute now" that prompts new believers, feeds the old believers, and most importantly, keeps the money coming in - when it doesn't, it is rinse and repeat. It is an oft repeated cycle going back to 1874 (and, sprang from the Millerites before them who had one fail - but, this time CTR has it right!) Assisting, with their creeping definition of perfection to be that sort that qualified sort from forever immortality (only the 144k get that, by the way, and the rest of us at best would get "ever lasting life ... as long as jehovah supports you" balanced by an interesting awake that said cats of our day are perfect, even though I had lost one due to illness and I had heard of others who had died from cat leukemia, etc - what kind of perfection is that? Not life everlasting for pets and mascots. I can see the logic in that, and which also points out the illogic of their perfection model, both for animals and people. I was thinking, why do`you not say 'I do not know" and stop tripping over your own feet? Inspired by a perfect God should be able to pull that off. I sincerely think it is a personal problem where people feel they have to come up with some thing "brilliant" and they feel a rush and call it inspired because they think ... it had to be, doesn't it? When called on it later, there's a disturbing and repeated over and over again "I never said that, they never said that, those others misunderstood, etc.," when we know that is not the case. What there isn't is there is not an Elders School in which they study and practice through review before doing more than the little elders schools with "these are the rules, follow them and every thing will be fine, don't worry." Well, it's a mess to be involved in a religious quasi-legal proceeding. I don't know if it's changed, but it was said one accused in such could have another brother in there to represent them. May be that's changed, but I've never heard of any one doing that in a judicial proceeding. Most of us wandered in to it surprised but trusting in the brothers to protect them. Others of us knew this isn't going to turn out good for me. The intolerance and the amount of control they decide to maintain and wield and the questions they could not handle any one having and could simply not deal with is what drove me away and makes me recognize them as an imperfect cult well along on the BITE meter which messes people up.

[@outtadarkness1970]

I am not clear as to exactly what it was the pioneer elder did. I am older than Oliver and was once a "cute little brunette" and, given my personal experiences, I probably wouldn't have taken such great exception to what was described (as I understand it). He is probably right that this man should not have been allowed to continue as an elder. Actually, from what Oliver said, he should never have been one in the first place...so much for elders being guided by Holy Spirit when deciding such things.

[@akehapkap6143]

As a child I was devastared when a freind in class, that was a JW, was'nt allowed to celebrate birthdays. Not even her own! As an adult in my late 20ties I became a Christian (not JW but nonetheless). It is really hardt to get away from the fear that have been implanted. Aloso for my, now adult, children. The fear if going to hell for comitting the one unforgiveable sin, that is to insult or deny the Holy Spirit still is in me. I have speaken in tounges, ffs. I have had dreams. But I just can't get around the evolution. It is not possible that Earth is like 6000 y old. I have been watching you for a while, and since YT logarithms is as it is I also got other suggestions. So now it's every day with people likeJimmy Snow, Telltale, the sceptic and Holy Koolaid. I cannot see myself as an agnostic. I still belive in ghosts and stuff you can't prove scientifically. Thank you for doing what you do. I would have never thought about how much damage this kind of extreme religions belifs can do to a fragile mental health.

[@allahspreadshate6486]

What do you mean exactly when you say you've spoken in tongues?

[@annafarago2271]

Going to mass at Easter and Christmas would hardly teach about the Christian faith. We have weekly bible studies as a RC and open for questions, discussions and disagreements. Constructive. Glad you made it out.

[@rdhawk929]

Glad you "found the Light" Oliver!

[@NashonOsborne]

Great interview glad you made it out!

[@saffronhammer7714]

Frankly, the whole idea of elders is absurd and unhealthy.

[@AndyBCCA]

Well certainly the way they do it, and the supposed authority and control they try to have over people's lives.

[@saffronhammer7714]

Frankly any kind of spiritual leadership or authority , anyone put in a religious superior position -I have no need for it.

[@AndyBCCA]

@@saffronhammer7714 thats fair. if you're part of a faith community having people to counsel you is important just as secular counsellors are important. But I understand where you and others you're coming from because of being subjected to abuse from some of those who hold those roles and I am empathetic about that.

[@saffronhammer7714]

@@AndyBCCA I think many people who have never suffered spiritual abuse recognize there is no need for someone to be in a position of superiority or leadership, etc. If I need counseling I can find an actual professional. Lay clergy are not trained nor educated nor equipped to be counseling people. But sure if people feel the need to be taught and lead, to each their own,

[@AndyBCCA]

@@saffronhammer7714 i understand. Generally ordained pastors or priests do have a well rounded education. Some churches have their own professional counseling services. Doctrinally its more about church leaders being there for personal growth and counseling rather then any kind of superiority. But in some controlling sects like JWs they are definitely not healthy counselors. I have as much criticism of the Watchtower Society and other cults as you do.

[@Bad80y1]

What a sincere, honest, kind man who went through the political scene of being a elder and seeing the injustice’s this religion has for people when it comes to circumstances of dealing with sinners who are sincerely repentant doing everything they can do to get reinstated, and others who remain elders after committing a worse sin then others. It comes down to politics and feelings for every case doesn’t it. It’s not spirit directed. It’s just about rules and man made decisions. Jehovah is really not in the spotlight in most cases. And Jesus is pretty much entirely left out. And that’s why hearing these experiences for different ex JW’s really shows how false this religion is. Sad situation, but it wasn’t as painful as others experiences as he and his son have their relationship in tact. But his marriage couldn’t go on…… Yes this crazy religion does destroy people one way or another when it comes to destroying families and relationships. It’s a club in general where power and status is everything. Hence it’s clearly not favourable in God’s eyes.

[@williameramsey1896]

Freemason designed religion.

[@saffronhammer7714]

@@williameramsey1896 a religion created by men based on a book written by men, especially for men.

[@lizzyb9296]

The pettiness of making his "friend " pay and apologize over and over again for a mistake is one of the many reasons why I left the organization.

[@orobiller1]

Hi Lizzie. I probably didn’t have enough time to speak in detail about this friend but I actually didn’t make him apologize over and over. He came to me and apologized and I excepted that apology right then and there. He needed to apologize to my ex-wife but that went unresolved. The thing I was most upset about was that his position as an elder and a pioneer was never taken from him. That made me question the organization because they don’t even follow their own rules. Feel free to ask me any clarifying questions if you have any.

[@juschilln4904]

Enjoyed the interview. Honestly i thought that the situation with the elder was going to be something worse. It was an awkward situation sure, but i mean..they probably were just expecting him to get punched in the face and that be the end of it 😂

[@lindseybarclay9187]

how come when Lloyd asks his guests if they have anything to say to those sitting on the fence about joining the cult, none of them ever say "RUN!" For that's what they need to do. Run in the opposite direction.

[@tulinfirenze1990]

I think the wife was actually out of order telling the man to stop looking at the attractive woman. His subsequent behaviour notwithstanding, this was none of her business and is another example of JWs constantly getting all up in each other's affairs, instead of minding their own.

[@60th60th]

That's what I thought! Tho it in no way excuses what he did next. What a nasty, petty religion.

[@tangerinetangerine4400]

If it was obvious and the other woman felt uncomfortable it's absolutely fine to tell the man to knock it off. That was the ex wife's work place, and both the man and the other woman were customers. The man sounds like a creep, especially when he SLAPS the woman (ex wife), or did you miss that part?

[@sherylalismom285]

You expressed yourself very well and openly. There was no doubt in my mind that you 'told it like it is'. If only JW's would let themselves see and analyze the damage this organization promotes. But I ignored many red flags during my 61 years as a JW, so I get it. I left over 2 years ago.

[@fabibibine]

I appreciate him coming forward to share his story. But thanks for asking the right questions.

[@phoenixchick5088]

Wait does he not know Lloyd Evans IS John Cedars ..

[@ResearchThis]

🤣🤣🤣

[@onesunnyday5699]

I wasn't gonna say it. I was here & heard that before any comments were in here 😁

[@AB-yk1fn]

I know!! it shows Lloyd's humility to not make it about himself nor to embarrass his guest by saying anything but it would have been fun to see Oliver's reaction to the realization!

[@ResearchThis]

@@thereikifarmer thats what he'd like to say now, yeah, sure 🤣 nod, nod, wink, wink 😉

[@ResearchThis]

@@thereikifarmer thats even more hilarious 😂 🤣☺, he's pretending he was joking now ahhhhhhhh ha ha ha 😂

[@rachelortiz147]

Loving the interviews

[@starkochmodig5815]

The elders go through life disfellowshiping people left and right, but it is a very different thing when it comes to your own child. It hurts more when it's your own flesh and blood. Elders like to play judges, police officers, psychologists, doctors, experts in marital counseling without any academic study. Not one day at the university. They like the power of decide over peoples lives. The princes of the New Order.

[@ritae5316]

I wonder if Oliver knows he is talking to John Cedars? ;)

[@orobiller1]

Yes I knew ;)

[@ladybud8292]

@@orobiller1 Hi Oliver! Did you ever go to the Williams congregation? My grandfather was in that hall? Jim Leathem

[@AB-yk1fn]

exactly what I was thinking! lol!!

[@davidbudge8359]

You loved your wife so much you set her free thats true love.

[@frozentspark2105]

Hi I'm the Bunker live from Lloyd Evans.....Sorry it's still early 👽

[@michaelmorgan7954]

My old hall was all about the 1 year rule. My cousing had to wait 3 months after her husband got reinstaled because they were in different halls when they got DF'd. He was an Elder's kid, my cousin was not.

[@lemongrabloids3103]

So happy for him he got out relatively unscathed

[@unomariano7691]

Wasted 28 yrs so sad, but fortunate u have loving family … because they were not a member of the cult!!! Glad!!

[@susancurrie9246]

Thanks Oliver and Lloyd

[@beachmom2001]

I had a similar experience, coming in after being witnessed to by a friend from al-anon meetings and also someone I used to work with that I had romantic feelings for. I was also searching, going to Al-anon meetings which have some similar concepts as it is a spiritual organization and some might even say cultish. I came in in 1993 when I was 23 almost 24. I too had the luxury of having NO family members that were jws. I was df'd twice and honestly out more than I was in for the 22 years i was programmed. I was a POMI. I wasted about 22 years being brainwashed. My teenage daughter started to wake up before me and we kind of woke up together. She was reading Harry Potter on the down low and I remember being upset with her when I found out. Lol.

[@skepticusmaximus184]

Oliver's story about how his friend was only expected (by the elders) to apologise and make amens to them (the elders), kind of demonstrates on a smaller scale, what is wrong with the whole Christian redemption message in general. You have this magic invisible imaginary friend who can obsolve you of your guilt and shame for any wrongdoings. But it's not the offended or harmed party you have to answer to; it's not making things right with your victims that you are expected to perform in the redemptive transaction. No you are rewarded by imaginary beings with absolution of your sins, for the sycophantic act of adopting an ideology and deciding to worship those imaginary beings. You also get to pretend you will live forever in bliss and that you're now transformed into a wonderful loving and virtuous person. !!BONUS PLUS PLUS GOOD!! Meanwhile you've thrown your previous victims under the bus along with everyone who doesn't believe your unjust redemption fantasy. They can all go to hell in that mindset. So this is what Christian redemption teaches and these fellows imagining themselves to be Christ like representatives, enact the same scheme, where being sorry to the fake authorities, is all that matters and screw the actual victims. It's a moral cop-out being sold as virtue and justice.

[@skepticusmaximus184]

@Wolf-dog Cat-dog Ain't that the truth! I have an elderly friend (a church elder), who was robbed in my estimation by an ex-convict acquaintance of his. I voiced my suspicion of the ex-con, who had been paroled, but not before finding God on the inside. My friend was adamant that this ex-con could not be involved, because he was a 'fine upstanding Christian'. See, just like with the parole board, the pretence of religiosity is all a crim needs to get a free pass. My friend lost 10s of thousands worth of shed tools, his car and his trailer.

[@mariacardoso1477]

Amazing! It as so well expressed! Tank you.

[@skepticusmaximus184]

@@mariacardoso1477 Thank you Maria.

[@marklacasse3988]

I've noticed that the families of elders seem have the most troubled kids and are forgiven for it then it comes to the judgement of the rest of the congregation it's pay, pay, pay, they start racking up the punishment.

[@The12thSeahorse]

Oliver said towards the end….”to research it from all angles”. But it’s like buying a car, house or even business…..you don’t begin to know the in’s and out’s, the good and the ugly until your in the pit (or until you get muddied in the mist of it all). I am not a JW but one big problem with their closed insulated system, when you got Elder’s and the like, who have no qualifications as a counsellor, psychologist, or psychotherapist for example. So you got authority who have no qualified authority and what they normally do is screw other people lives up for the worst. Lloyd, I don’t know what microphone or sound mixer your using……but your voice comes across brilliantly over KZbin……God peace.

[@exploringwithcaelan]

Keep doing these interviews

[@catmeow333]

Is this guy apologizing to everyone except his wife ?

[@orobiller1]

Not sure what you mean. Explain?

[@catmeow333]

@@orobiller1 He showed disrespect for his own wife by making a crude remark regarding the nice looking woman “I wouldn’t risk my position as an elder just for a piece of ass” he may have just as well recited Rutherford’s ignorant opinion and called her a “bag of bones and a hank of hair”

[@orobiller1]

@@catmeow333 He actually did apologize to her just to be fair. Not sure if he added his own slant to it or not.

[@ssfheather6629]

28 years that’s how long I wasted

[@foxiedogitchypaws7141]

Chandler had a man who was committing adultery , my ex brother in law, all the time and even went so far as to inviting his horse to live in a spare room my mother had who lived close by as my sister and him were stealing money from her and using her credit cards for his gulf games and his horse after my sister and adulterer husband moved from Chandler to Tucson, He continued to use his horse but she never moved in my moms home. Oliver didn't loose faith, he woke up to the lies of a Cult.

[@deborahd4310]

I just did "the math" and in December I will have been out for 40 years!!!

[@sadxsap2268]

That’s my pops!!

[@orobiller1]

Hi Son! Never saw this reply until now. Love you!!

[@danieliglesias6278]

Something is not kosher here. WTH!? Or….a lot has changed in the religion of my youth. Oh wait…. that’s what happened! I knew there was more to the story. However, he’s out, his son is out. Good for him. The wasted years is always a sad story but….at least he’s out now . Lloyd…thank you for your activism. 🤔🇨🇺🇺🇸

[@sparkyslag6776]

I wonder how His Son's relationship is with his ex wife.

[@sadxsap2268]

She told me she was disgusted with me when she found out I got married. Didn’t talk to me for a few months and has just recently started speaking with me again

[@sparkyslag6776]

@@sadxsap2268 I feel for you.

[@sadxsap2268]

@@sparkyslag6776 funny enough, being df’d twice really helped me with getting used to people close to me not talking to me anymore. Life is good tho thank you 🙏

[@valeriediaz82]

A year?! I’ve heard of child abusers getting DF’d for 6 months Disgusting

[@motorway2roswell]

32:00 when he said he was watching KZbin channels and one was "John Cedar", or something like that 🤣😂😅

[@saffronhammer7714]

Bible prophesies have been unfulfilled for over 2,000 years., and yet billions of believers.

[@purplefairy4489]

Wow ..its sad his marriage down .😪

[@outtadarkness1970]

As to the demise of Oliver's marriage: HE decided his wife would not be comfortable married to an unbeliever?! In all honesty, it sounds like he just wanted an excuse to get out of the marriage. Just a thought...

[@BadManFij]

omg, Lloyd .>>did you say you were an elder. I hope that you've helped more people with your videos to get out than the many you might have brought into the truth/NOT. I can listen to you and your guest speakers all day if I had the time.

[@nneely613]

Lloyd seems put of it.

[@belladonna70]

can i hear a dog coughing in background?

[@orobiller1]

Yes! It was a bit distracting. Sorry about that

[@carolsimpson4422]

I was a little uncomfortable with how he referred to his wife at the time as a "marriage mate"- and not as a "wife". Because I'm sure it was a very old fashioned arrangement, and he benefitted from her playing the role of "traditional " wife. It seems odd to use a sexless term when her sex dictated her role in that marriage. Perhaps he has some guilt for taking advantage of her subservience all those years and then leaving her. I do hope he went through formal channels to "free" her, because as I understand it, unless the adulterous partner admits it to the elders , the other partner remains married in their eyes and unable to remarry.

[@bbnCRLB]

I nearly married a JW lady. She started with being super nice to me. And when I fell in love with her, she then stated categorically that marrying a non-JW is a son. But she told me initially that it was not a rule in their organization but her personal choice to marry a witness. I later found out that she kept so many secrets from me just to make her religion appear spotless. I already told her that I am not converting. And if she thinks I am not worth it then we should go our separate ways. She's still trying to keep in touch with me. I believe she really loves me but is held back by her religion. She's a 3rd generation JW. Her both parents were born into it. So you can imagine.

[@saffronhammer7714]

Technically she can’t be DFd for marrying a nonJW, but it has happened .

[@charlesjames1464]

All well and good to say "research it" Some of the most dedicated JWs ,will tell you they have studied every religion known to man. And they have found the "truth " in this cult.

[@Pitcher902]

How can you say that the past 28yrs was wasted time?

[@kmm291]

It’s an ego filled organization. You look to be looked at as ‘ something’ They want you to climb the ladder…. Service ! Pioneer! Ministerial servant. Elder. Pick one and flourish ….in the eyes of others. You are already something withJevovah. They will gossip and add stories if you miss “ their mark”. They consider themselves themselves God and Jesus….the judge. They will make you feel good about yourselves because It’s for those with low self esteem. When you read the Bible all the way through, you will discover the God Of the Bible. You can find the blessing of knowing Holy Spirit in your own life.

[@adelachavez7894]

Don't forget everyone are just ordinary men serving in this cult. That Elder did not apologize to your wife is because he liked what he did. In his mind he was probably waiting for another opportunity , he was in his mind thinking that it was his right. So very glad that your family is out. Your son is safe. That brother is disrespectful to himself and why would anyone expect him to respect the sisters. Him not apologizing to your wife just meant that he was sorry only for being caught. There is so much that is hidden in the JWS.

[@phoenixchick5088]

Oo Flagstaff is nice!

[@riverofthewood]

Seems to me the only person who needs an apology is the wife. She's the one who was assaulted. Why should husband expect an apology? She's not his property. Good old religious patriarchy. Toxic.

[@LloydEvans]

If you watch the whole interview it becomes pretty clear he's looking for an apology for his wife, not for him. Try to lose the JW judgmentalism. It's not conducive to people coming forward and sharing their stories.

[@yvonne3903]

Lloyd, then he should not have accepted his best friends apology until he had apologised to his wife for groping her. Seems the apology was accepted prematurely and by accepting the apology he indicates that he is the hurt party. That choice put his wife in a difficult position. It's possible that is the difference between a male and female perspective and I would agree, it could easily be seen as a patriarchal attitude, but it's also highly disrespectful to his wife. Maybe Oliver has still to arrive in the 21 centuary, happy travelling. Another way to look at it is if the wives best friend publicly groped her husband say in front of other elders and she received the apology and said to her best friend oh that's OK, what message would she be sending her husband and those witnessing the assault? I think Rivers point is valid.

[@riverofthewood]

@@LloydEvans I did watch the whole video. I did see that. What I *also* saw was Oliver's repeated talk about how the friend apologized to *him*, and he accepted this apology and moved on. That's patriarchal and suggests ownership. It's normal all across religion, but it is not okay. It's weird if you spend any time thinking about it. Why would an apology for assault be given to anyone other than the assaulted party? Oliver was not harmed. Just his ego. I'm not JW. Never been. My brother got sucked into it so I watch your videos to educate myself in what I'm dealing with. And Lloyd, wild guess but considering how sexist JW are, I think you might still have some remaining toxic patriarchy to work through for yourself as well.

[@yvonne3903]

@@riverofthewood yes I was thinking that, there is a bit of JW leakage going on with Lloyd, hardly surprising given his background, which is also mine but I have been out longer. Every so often Lloyd you use the pronouns we, us to describe JW practices, your probably not aware. To call Rivers points judgemental is typical J W behaviour, it's threatening and bullying, she made valid points, she was not overly critical and she was polite and you are aiming to shut her up, that's patriarchal behaviour. We all make judgements all the time, we wouldn't last long if we didn't.

[@LloydEvans]

@@yvonne3903 Not absolutely everything is patriarchal behavior. I can disagree with someone's criticism without this being patriarchal behavior and an effort to shut someone up. I honestly think this is a good example of nitpicking and it's not positive or healthy in the context of people stepping forward and sharing their stories about being in an abusive cult. What you're doing is making others yet to be interviewed terrified in case they say something wrong or an element of their story is twisted to suggest something that is not the case. In this instance, there is nothing inherently sexist about receiving an apology for someone sexually harassing your spouse while insisting that your spouse must themselves receive an apology. If a friend of my wife were to grope me, I'm sure my wife would want an apology in addition to me receiving one (it being her friend) and I would not feel aggrieved or treated as property for her feeling that way. Try to loosen up a bit, see the bigger picture, and not leap on every little morsel of someone's story as a reason to find the worst in them. It's not healthy for you or those you judge.

[@timbothegreat7767]

I like him, he seems pretty cool. Would have made a good cop

[@Gjigfvniyf]

Interesting the man who grabbed his ex wife’s behind had no problem groveling and apologizing to his male friend and his elders but couldn’t just give a genuine apology to the woman he disrespected

[@rosiej.1473]

Funny I have heard many say and I said too months before I started researching, I am sick of being spoon fed.

[@rodywithers3536]

Oliver’s upfront, just-minded account showcases how one’s conscience can be a powerful bang on the door that leads to the door opening up one’s awareness that JW organization is little more than a flimsy house of cards. It underscores women’s virtual invisibility in the organization. The male hierarchical structure means that men get to discuss together what has been done to the woman (in this case Oliver’s wife) and the woman is no where in sight. In any other context this is appalling evidence that men run the organization for men - and women are literally second-class citizens whose own ability to speak up for themselves is severely stunted. Yet another example of how badly this organization treats women and how, if you get to the level of elder, it is well and truly a man’s organization in which the male perspective prevails.

[@williambutler5091]

I've never been an JW. Been an atheist since 15. I've watched a lot of atheist content and the algorism eventually brought me to Lloyd and I've watched a bunch of his content because it's interesting and entertaining. Thing is, I am feeling like a bit of a voyeur now. Maybe feeling a bit smug if I'm honest but really more guilty feeling from watching these truly nice good people's problems. Is this a bit messed up?

[@riverofthewood]

It's usually difficult to explain to lifelong atheists how awful it is to be raised in fundamentalism.

[@peggystoutemorin4529]

Lovely people, great people; yet these loving, godly bullshitters will drop you at the word go when you fail to fall in line or break one of their trifling man-made rules. NO!! THAT IS NOT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE! That is performance art! It just makes my blood boil!

[@daviddaniel2198]

I know a guy about 15 years ago that was an MS at the time that was sleeping with his wife’s sister. It went on for a long time well over a year. He lied to the congregation saying that there was something wrong with him and that he couldn’t sleep. The whole congregation felt so bad for him but the whole time he was screwing his sister in law. When he went to the elders his punishment was no commenting at meetings, no going door to door (which should be a treat not a punishment) wasn’t allowed to answer at meetings haha! Imagine that and I did the same thing but my marriage was in turmoil. But I didn’t sleep with my sister in law and I was never baptized and they punished me the same way this guy was. This guy later about a year down the road became an elder hahahahaha. I guess it all depends on who your elders are because that same old goofy elder that told me after 5 months I’ll be able to go back out in the door to door ministry and to comment at the meetings that I’ll have those privileges back. Well those 5 months passed on by and I was told “so you can read good ha, well I don’t feel that you have been repentant enough so I’m going to give you three more months”. Imagine that? After all the tears and myself wanting to end my life!!!!!!!! This bastard had the audacity!!! This same elder that committed adultery in his younger life and ruined both of my cousins lives as he was sleeping with their mom and caused my cousins parents to divorce!!!!!!!! Screw this evil cult!!!

[@EarthFirstGoVegan]

I’m shocked in this day and age there hasn’t been an exodus from ALL religions. Religion is about as believable as the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy and old Santa.

[@m.a.sperry3424]

To an outsider, do they realize how bizarre this whole thing sounds? He looked at a woman; he touched a woman; I didn't get what his son did, but this stuff is beyond the pale. The level of subjugation and control is frankly, laughable, albeit sad. Get out! Please.

[@terriebaker374]

Oliver, is your x-wife shunning your son? Just wondering with her first grandchild on the way

[@orobiller1]

No she is not but she is limiting her communication and contact but I would say not to the standards that they hold

[@terriebaker374]

Puttswell thank you!

[@touchdaroad688]

@@orobiller1 very brave of you I'm slowly waking up but I'm afraid of how my 2 baptized sons and my younger kids will feel my husband is woke already but I'm still basically afraid of leaving because then I'll have no hope

[@timbothegreat7767]

lol you ask if you have pronounced his name right and then spell it wrong in the description

[@boboak9168]

What? Mike O'Malley is an exJW? No, it's his doppelganger. (see a picture of Mike in Snowpiercer and you'll see what I mean)

[@phoenixchick5088]

Lol😁

[@sarcasm6669]

Was going to like this, but it's sitting at 666 right now, so will come back to like after someone else ruins the perfect number first.

[@marysanders4649]

Yes, watchtower convinces People they are bible scholars and this appeals to their ego, however they are only scholarly with watchtower printed material and doctrines.

[@izabelarivera5211]

So am elder slaps woman's ass and he apologies to her husband? What kind of backwards shit is that? I am only hoping (most likely in vain ) that she got an apology too, at least. Also why was his witnesses account accepted for a situation he wasn't even in? It happened to his wife, why was he confirming the accuracy of his friend's statement? Patriarchy at its best

[@selinapoochie]

Wow, these comments are so judgemental

[@foxiedogitchypaws7141]

Watchtower doing what witchtower does best, grabbing as many ips addresses as possible to spy.

[@moniquedelaney7958]

Good ending

[@traceysankar-charleau4003]

Can't go into the police serive cause you carry a firearm.. JWs shooting deer up in the back country in Minnesota for meat cause Armageddon is coming they got to eat.. the double standard always floors me.. while that was 30 years ago I saw that with my two liyin eyes that's the sort of shit that stays with you. The stories I could give even just last week pertaining to my dad who's still in needing help and not ONE witness step up to help him with contribution for his surgery, I had to tell him "I told you so" that money goes to the organization and GB pocket.