Never-JW: "My baptist family tries to make me feel stupid for not believing"

[@EfrainRiveraJunior]

Freedom from a cult is great. Freedom from religion is a breath of life.

[@dennisconstantine624]

@Efrain Rivera, Absolutely freedom from ALL religions is a wonderful experience, I feel so sorry for those with shackles still attached.

[@raverider2327]

I feel sorry for everyone that leave Watchtower Cult but still believe in Bible & Jehovah. The real Truth is out there, but sometimes delusional thinking is not easy to go away, I guess.

[@Kawamura2]

@@raverider2327 especially for people who have grown up in fundamentalist style religions. It can be done, and many people have escaped delusion, but it is very difficult. Secular therapy can be very helpful.

[@joharray.6299]

I really love your video’s I was raised as a strict Muslim and left the religion. Than got back because of anxiety and was so scared of losing my family. But now I don’t look back anymore. I can always relate to every trauma and fear you felt. And I know how lonely it can get.

[@Sharron-Idol]

When people throw up a fence or a wall between themselves and you; it's important to not expend all of your energy in trying to break down that barrier that they've put up. Think outside the box a while, step back and take your time: You'll find that, although the obstruction remains in place - maintained by them - and communication is dramatically impaired because of that; the fact is that they have fenced themselves in by throwing up the obstruction: They have imprisoned themselves within their ivory tower; whereas you are still free, and you still have the world at your feet.

[@korolr]

Wise words indeed.

[@luna-p]

@@korolr Seconded

[@Anudawn8787]

The world is at the other person's feet too... they just don't want you in it.

[@Anudawn8787]

You being whoever they put a wall up against

[@Sharron-Idol]

@@Anudawn8787 Please explain how "the world is at the other person's feet" as you say. What do you mean by that?

[@John-bo4eq]

Thanks Lloyd 🙏

[@lloydchristmas4547]

02:32. "And I know I'm not stupid because I didn't fall for a cult." LOL!

[@MrWhit30]

I've always from an early age been rather adverse to religion. Went to a little country Baptist church & Sunday school with Mom as a child but by the time I was 11 or 12 I wasn't forced to go any longer, as Dad was alway pretty much a secularist. I did flirt with the Church(Baptist) for a 5-6 yr period in later life, mainly to satisfy my spouse. But typical petty church politics drove her away so I no longer had to deal with it. From my experience it seems to me that many people who get deep into any kind of religious community for whatever reason suffer from not being able to stand up for themselves and have a strong need to be accepted, so they are willing to take the inevitable abuse. My advice is to believe in yourself, take no sht, and get away from it, family or not. There are plenty of decent people, even here in Alabamastan, who are far more worthy to become your friends and family. Its not you who's stupid, its them and its their loss not yours.

[@rosiej.1473]

Wow, you really hit the nail on the head. I have been struggling with what is it and you are right, acceptance and not standing up for self. So simple. Thank you for commenting. You have no idea how much that struck me. I have been church hopping and feel a need to but at the same time I just find fault with them all and I ask myself why do you keep trying. Now I know. I was looking for replacements. Screw that. You just saved me a lot of time. Thank you!

[@Kawamura2]

@@rosiej.1473 I was like that years ago when I was still a Christian. When I decided I didn't need religion to be fulfilled, that was when my sense of self worth started to get better. I eventually found what have turned out to be like minded, lifelong friends, and these days I'm much happier for it. I wish you well in your own journey. :)

[@rosiej.1473]

@@Kawamura2 Thank you!

[@kittylove2975]

My heart goes out to this caller. 💕

[@juniordomingo5293]

Blessings to the caller. I feel for her. Keep pressing on for righteousness. Never let this religion break your love for your family.

[@dv6509]

I really feel for the caller. It's not easy being the black sheep. In time, the freedom will pay off. Unfortunately some people will never wake up

[@LinkChow8150]

A big hug to the caller. There are lots of us black sheep out here. Take care & I agree with Lloyd, check out therapy if it's at all an option, it can be really helpful

[@indelyn7143]

I’m impressed with your advice / message. Your genuine concern for the caller showed.

[@Pommy1958]

Big hugs to you, caller. 💖 Your struggle is recognised by every ex-JW on this channel. Your love for your family is to be commended... the fact that you love them DESPITE religious differences. Far from being the "black sheep", you appear to be the only one that is showing true, unconditional love. Anyone who is "blackening" you for your religious disrespect needs to consider this question: "Do you want a relationship with me... or do you want to be right?" If the answer is the former, then it has to be agreed that this relationship can ONLY exist outside of these differences. It the answer is the latter, then you need to do is water it takes to protect YOU. Going back to your love & respect for your family: You - and they - have to realise that love, respect, and forgiveness towards them is not a virtue in a culture that does not value you. Good luck with your struggle. 💖

[@jeanniejewel2272]

Very good advice Lloyd. Thank you caller for leaving your voice mail.

[@ResearchThis]

Go Lloyd!

[@annemariefrank]

Well done, Lloyd! I totally agree! To the caller: you're definitely not alone (ex-non-JW-but-conservative-protestant here)! Get help. You'll be AMAZED by how much lighter and freer you feel with professional advice from mental health workers. They can help you steer in the right way. And set boundaries, set rules. Rules can be the key to a much healthier, diplomatic living together.

[@NIL0S]

Never feel stupid for questioning things. There is no such thing as a stupid question, only stupid answers.

[@colinellicott9737]

I used to think that too. Until Fredricka Whitfield on CNN a couple of weeks ago asked the meteorologist if the hurricane that hasn't hit Haiti yet caused the earthquake that happened days ago. I kid you not. There are stupid questions.

[@NIL0S]

@@colinellicott9737 It's more about the concept. Usually one asks questions to put doubts to rest or clarify something they do not know or understand. In other words all questions are necessary, because they expose a need for clarification. In that case the meteorologist was given a perfect opportunity to explain how hurricanes form, and to clarify that an earthquake is a completely different phenomenon. The interviewer and audience would've probably been smarter for it 🙂

[@colinellicott9737]

@@NIL0S I disagree, all questions are not necessary. What is necessary is thinking about the issue before asking a question. To not know if a thing that hasn't happened yet (hurricane) caused something that happened days ago (earthquake) is one of three things - willful ignorance, lack of thinking before asking, or a significant mental shortcoming. The latter being the only viable reason, but given this question was from a CNN news anchor that is not likely. As to others learning from the answer ... the answer was "that has zero percent chance" ... there was no explanation and the meteorologist moved on quickly trying not to draw any attention to the inane question. There are stupid questions. How about this one: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Or: "How many fairies can dance on the head of a pin?" Or: "How flat is the flat earth?" Or: "If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?" Or: "When did you stop beating your wife?" The real reason behind this misguided myth: School House Diary: Reflections of a Retired Educator notes that teachers are fond of saying this phrase, and suggests that while they themselves want to call out the stupid questions, they fall back on the adage in order to prevent the child from being ridiculed.

[@NIL0S]

@colin ellicott I agree with your disagreement, you've made a good argument 😄 I still think questions are necessary, even the not so well thought out ones. A waste of time, maybe, but certainly necessary for the one asking. Even if it's only to understand that they are not thinking things through.

[@colinellicott9737]

@@NIL0S Agreed. Questions are necessary. Thank you. Peace. Onward!

[@jeremydegraaf.nz.1471]

There is a saying,You Can Pick Your Friends, But You Can't Pick Your Family...

[@Pommy1958]

I always knew it as: God gives your your family. Thank god you can choose your friends! 😂😅🤣

[@jessicanerpio-cauldwell4987]

@@rasklaat2 And that's what WT ORG (Cult) teaches "Loyalty" to it's Rank and File (JW's) you're either IN or OUT in their One Big Happy Family...🤨😕🤣

[@Kawamura2]

you can't pick who you're related to, but family does not necessarily equal blood relations.

[@paulstope762]

2x hip replacement Blood! 3 pints. Goodbye family. We were never one anyway. Watched for a long. You’re a kind man. Thanks.

[@thedemysticist6730]

Something I'm noticing in these videos is that you frequently urge people to seek treatment from a mental health professional and have no shame in doing so. Keep it up. This is a good thing. Therapy is becoming more available and affordable with many practitioners offering online visits. Seeking therapy is still heavily stigmatized in my area and even more so in the JW religion, to the point that when I urged someone to get that kind of help I was "counseled" for giving medical advice. But going to therapy probably saved my life and most definitely kickstarted my journey to mental freedom. Your videos helped too and in many cases just confirmed the doubts I already had.

[@littlemisscareful]

They think they are better than you which make them spiritual snobs.

[@grannykiminalaska]

I'm so sorry that you are suffering. Lloyd is absolutely right. Get a counselor otherwise you will never feel whole. But also plz remember your whole family is a victim of this religion, they truly believe in this horrible thing. I'm sure it breaks your mothers heart to think you will go to hell even though we know it doesn't exist. As far as the cousin goes, You have to save yourself first before you can help anyone else. ❤🖖

[@annalizevermaak1594]

Lloyd you are a kind and caring human being! I admire your research and dedication to being a light in a dark web of lies that are very far from the "truth"....

[@hossmcgregor3853]

Do not concern yourself with things external to you, things which you can not control. Only concern yourself with things you can control. -Paraphrase of Epictetus.

[@williamsawyer9894]

Follow Paul McCartney's musical injuction, "Let It Be."

[@jerryboff]

I would confess all the way through that I was thinking Lloyd please tell her to get some proper counseling and I breathed a sigh of relief when at the end that was what you said. Credit where its due I think you handled that brilliantly, well done you.

[@ckelly5141]

Great point Lloyd. Forcing does not work. We can only hope that our loved ones will be curious or genuinely interested in our reasons for leaving over time.

[@__.lucky.__]

I feel for this caller. They sound very young. I am also the black sheep in my family (in more ways than one). I hope they read my comment because I’d like to offer some insight. I was raised JW but never baptized, an entire side of my family was always JW, the other side is small and only one converted in old age after being agnostic her entire life. My mom started going back when I was 14 after being inactive most of my life. And I shared some of your same feelings, back then, we didn’t have KZbin or any resources that I knew of but I knew in my heart that this cult did not sit right with me and wasn’t for me. Although I had a great childhood (minus any holiday celebrations and birthdays), it was hard living under that roof. The best thing I did was educate myself and become independent from my family as soon as I could, I’m living my truth and I couldn’t be happier. I love my family very much and I just try to block out all the JW stuff but I still do wish we had a normal life and relationship, there is always a space between us that we can not close. Have hope for the future and help yourself in any way you can, whether it’s school, work or therapy, or better yet all three. It gets better with time. Just be yourself and do things that feel right for you. You’re a very intelligent person and you can definitely get through this! Hugs! ❤️

[@shanghaiberti4142]

If your family loves you they would not treat you this way... You have taken the first step.. Stay with us. and read other exjw experiences. Talk talk talk.. The help is here for you. Also get too see professional help... By treating you this way your family is bullying you.. Don't let them do it.. Be your own person be yourself.. Best wishes.

[@mailill]

Very good advice!

[@theyoutubeanalyst3731]

Lloyd is making a lot of people feel like we aren't insane, like we aren't making a mistake by leaving s certain religion. This caller is an ex baptist, I'm ex catholic and ex evangelical. Thank you Lloyd!

[@andrzejpogonowski1119]

Peace

[@Duermeahora]

You can't be stupid: you reject religion.

[@joko4471]

Its sad that has such a hold on people.. send hugs to the caller❣️

[@raverider2327]

My PIMI parents say "If you so smart & have a degree, why you didn't accept Jehovah & his organisation as the TRUTH?!"

[@luna-p]

I hope you laugh in their faces

[@cynidesappi2201]

Heheh... this sounds Malaysian.. 😂😂 Asian Parents.

[@ConservativeSatanist666]

It sucks.. sounds like the caller was being gaslighted by her family.

[@lylejacks7387]

Most important advice is to seek professional assistance, a counselor, for your mental health!

[@Hitchpster]

Got another micro-joke to lighten the mood after this: "Corinthians 4 - Ephesians 0, Isaiah scored two goals."

[@tamaraheseltine4455]

SPOT ON LLOYD...Great tactful advice. I don't know how old you are but if you need to remain in the situation you are in for financial reasons or age, I would suggest you think about an exit plan for the future including a way to comfortably support yourself possibly college or technical training of some sort. It is hard and family heart stings get plucked. Lloyd was so right... Control yourself, your actions is all you need to focus on. You deserve to set BOUNDARIES of what you expect as far as respect for your feelings and beliefs. I would suggest looking at some utube video's on how to set boundaries in a kind yet firm way. JW"S are master manipulators and unfortunately religious folks often really don't respect boundaries to the point that the only comfortable way to be around these folks is to choose limited contact. Good Luck. You are not alone.

[@skepticusmaximus184]

Can I just suggest that when you are recommending therapy/counselling Lloyd, you might like to mention the secular therapy project. It's no good if somebody needing help ends up in theistic manipulation programs, called therapy or counselling services. Also the recovering from religion foundation might be helpful for some. Cheers.

[@jeantan9173]

There are four points to be addressed. First, ordinary publishers of JWs have been exploited by the organisation to criticise other churches during preaching or public talks for having child sexual abuse cases while there are so many child sexual abuse cases being covered up in their organisation. Second, the leadership of the organisation claim that they remain neutral in political matters, but at the same time the publishers are encouraged (or pressured) by the leadership to write millions of letters to protest against any country that are going to ban their work due to the harmful way of management of the organisation. Third, the leadership keeps on encouraging (or pressing) the publishers to give up their full time jobs to become pioneers while the leadership themselves use the donations to invest in many things such as properties and have earned a lot of money. Fourth, publishers are forced to obey the leadership for the sake of obedience only, creating many human disasters physically and mentally.

[@j.c.b6473]

If they stay JW, they will always judge you. You can either live with that, or move on and let them go. They won't change, but you can. There's no shame in cutting toxic people out of your life.

[@jessicanerpio-cauldwell4987]

43 years ago I (Born-in) Left (Disassociate/ Apostate/XJW/Pomo/Black Sheep) the WT ORG (Cult)... Today My Still in JW family talks to me ONLY when they need my help ($💰) outside of that they're not concern about my Well Being... Over the years I've tried talking to them but like Lloyd said Only if they come to you with an open mind... otherwise it's not happening...and that's the Truth...

[@virtualcolditz]

Judgmentalism is the lifeblood of religious organisations. Really, their judgment doesn't mean anything to anyone outside their little group.

[@esmeraldapooner751]

(Off the subject) A former history teacher showed a firm about antislavery which included Quakers chanting to Jehovah. So, I asked were they JW's? Then he explained to me that Quakers &Shakers were branchers of each other. And JW's were branches of a Baptist church which were branches of Quakers. He drew me a chart. I was shocked!!

[@paulschlachter4313]

Matthew 10 _"35 [Jesus to his disciples:] For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. 36 And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household."_ Poisonous doctrin leads to misled minds leads to harmful behavior. Realizing that helps not to take their words too personal.

[@ConservativeSatanist666]

True..

[@Alanhock75]

Religion is a snare and racket

[@allysonleavitt6858]

Religion is also a big business, and should be taxed.

[@patturner8849]

Vulnerable family member has been listening to JW members for approx 2years now and partner has recently died. Has been surrounded by jw with cards, even drawn and written by young children at how sad they are at the partners passing etc. Most are strangers. Family member is not yet baptised yet it does not seem long now before they will. With no one else in the family remotely inclined to join any religion this will create divide and grandchildren impacted by the seeming inevitable loss of this key family member fully becoming a JW. Their previous critical thinking appears diminished and limited judgement of others now rife instead. Freedom of being able to have a free life being quashed by dubious jw approaches and teachings. What are the stages of 'indoctrination'. Any hope to save them? They did get involved yet not baptised with Mormon church years ago but JW now replace that 'awe'.

[@luna-p]

Show them the Australian Royal Commission, or similar individual stories of abusive treatment

[@Des7iny7]

I’m sure Lloyd did a vid this year, regarding documentaries about cults. Any JW watching one of those programs will find similarities between themselves (JWs) and say, the Mormons. Watching someone else’s a cult, may just be enough to make them realise. But the ARC should turn ANY and ALL decent, genuine persons, away from Jehovah’s witnesses because it’s truly disgusting. Good luck Pat. Always here for a chat x🕊

[@luna-p]

@@Des7iny7 Definitely true about watching other cults, but they may not realize it until they live it. JWs often intentionally hide the crazy stuff from outsiders until they're official members.

[@Des7iny7]

@@luna-p as they did with me!! They told me 1975 was over enthusiastic brothers spreading a rumour!! If they don’t get the hint, there’s nothing anyone can do, I’m afraid. But, the lies and fear are REAL. And that’s a fact. Doubt, for example, Combover Splain said is Satan. My genuine experience is that doubt, is the teacher, calling the student 🕊

[@johnmackay3458]

you can choose your friends but can't choose your family so they say. look after no 1. as an ex JW all I care about is my own family and most of all my wife.

[@sasukeuchiha8648]

Religion has been a binding force since the dawn of mankind. It needs to change now since science has already shown that atheism is the answer and evolution over creation.

[@dancingnature]

Atheism has nothing to do science. It’s just a lack of belief in deities. Creationism is just a unverifiable belief. Evolution is a verified fact .

[@zenglaoshi6571]

Dear caller, sorry to hear what you went through. You are not alone, me too, experienced the same thing. This is the way I treated them: 1. I treat them nicely. 2. I explain to them that I am a humanist. Act in a humane way for the well-being of mankinds. 3. I believe in science but oppose superstitions. 4. I found out that the bible is not a good book (with concrete evidence.) 5. I found out the horrible dark side of Christianity in its history. 6. If there were God, why would he let his children suffer? Would any parents let their children suffer ? Let alone torture them ? Note: You must have lots of knowledge so that you can explain that this religion is simply not right for you. Always keep your voice low when talking. That's usually more persuasive.

[@nicholsonlawrance5821]

Perhaps you should ask your relatives. Why would you have evolved (or in there case 'given') a mind that allows you too 'question your beliefs' if you were not supposed to do just that?

[@lofislozano8529]

imagine @Lloyd getting baptized loving Jehovah and living forever lol

[@jeremiahh.3383]

Lloyd already went through that and his acceptance of the facts lead him out of the Organization. Listen to 11:15-11:40 of this video for context. Being part of the JW organization does not indicate a love for Jehovah. If anything it indicates the opposite. A lack of respect for Jehovah.

[@annalizevermaak1594]

Lloyd you are a kind and caring human being! I admire your research and dedication to being a light in a dark web of lies that are very far from the "truth"....