WHY NARCISSISTIC ABUSE IS SO HARD TO SEE

#narcissist #narcissisticabuse Narcissistic abuse can be very hard for people to see when they're in the middle of it. In this video, we will explore why and how abuse sneaks up on us and hides in plain sight.
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Here is contact information for when immediate help with abuse or self harm is needed. It is recommended that you use a computer or phone that your abuser cannot monitor:
Emergency: 911
National Domestic Violence Hotline: [phone]
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
National Hopeline Network: 1-800-SUICIDE (800-784-2433)
Crisis Text Line: Text "DESERVE" TO 741-741
Lifeline Crisis Chat (Online live messaging): suicideprevent...
Self-Harm Hotline: 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)
www.ywca.org/w...
YWCA - 202-467-0801
Canadian Assaulted Women's Helpline: 1-866-863-0511
UK National Domestic Abuse Hotline: [phone]
South Africa POWA: 011 642 434/6
Australia: 1-800-RESPECT

[@minnae.1747]

It often takes distance to see how bad the narcissistic abuse was - even when you can recognize it.

[@casperinsight3524]

The reality is it was never about you ~ its ALL about them

[@kellithomas9080]

Distance and working on your own issues. Then it hits you like a ton of bricks and you replay things over and over and make sense of the nonsense! But it’s rewarding because you are able to fully let go and focus on healing. I believe they are meant to teach us hard lessons and self discovery. It’s never about a happy ending with a narc, EVER. They’re just meant to pass through and cause chaos, but help us in the long run.

[@earthrooster1969]

Oh yes! So very true...

[@stevenli3034]

the biggest part of the abuse is to make you believe that it isn't abuse, to make you doubt your own judgement(and instinct), to turn you against yourself.

[@enzoonymus3084]

This is so true. My wife loves me. Right? She just keeps me around to "feed" her narcissistic self. She's Selfish, toxic, malignant. But, she's such a good cook. I mean excellant cook. I'm goin' nuts. I do know I would be better off with....what? I don't know. I do feel this video is a great help to me. THANK YOU. Go ahead and repeat your name more. Like at the end say, this is ::: ::: .

[@victoriavitoroulis3273]

@@enzoonymus3084she’s a malignant great cook .. 😂 save your sanity and eat tv dinners

[@Clevelandsteamer324]

Gaslighting

[@Monalisa0622]

​@@enzoonymus3084nothing is worth staying with a narcissists. Once you leave and and experience the peace and your identity back. You will ask yourself why you didn't leave sooner. I was the bread winner as he didn't want to work much. He is an amazing cook. But if I would of known there is NO hope for a narc I would of left sooner. 4 yrs gone let me tell you I feel younger than I did while being with him. Our 2 kids and I are thriving. We love our crazy peaceful life at home without his addictions and gaslighting. I wish i would of done it sooner

[@casperinsight3524]

@@victoriavitoroulis3273 Cooking is her hook ....let her go and learn to cook for yourself 😉

[@emmarae4322]

It’s insane how they use the same tactics to draw you in and manipulate. Seriously disturbing people.

[@karenk2409]

"Doing good things" for someone doesn't buy you the right to abuse them. That is a manipulative, malicious game.

[@thismomonamission7034]

“Actually comforting to blame yourself….that means you can do something to fix it…” In a nutshell my 18 years of marriage! I reached for every goal he set and I still cracked the facade of perfection! Now I see!!! It was only about me feeding his narcissism!!! 😮

[@andrewmass1414]

Thanks so.much. 17 years with a very abusive covert narccisst. Verbally abusive. No remorse. No accountability. My father was also a covert narccisst. I have suffered with these abusive people for over 70 total years. I always thought I was to blame.

[@deebow0865]

Unbelievable!! Whom ever survived this madness is Greatly Loved and blessed by “The Most High!!” I’m a survivor!!❤

[@attractarattigan3574]

Me too. Survivor

[@jetaboveclouds]

You buy into you being the bad person and responsible for it happening. You bring your history into it and they are just more of the same. You don't see it.

[@donnas.1576]

The negative treatment sneaks up on you without you noticing. One late night I surprised him tapping on the computer. He was so nice to me, I was shocked! I realized then how badly I had been treated for so long. I put my detective hat on the next day and discovered a secret email with romantic relationships with other women. No one deserves to be treated and disrespected by another person, especially one who you love and who you thought loved you.

[@emmarae4322]

Join the club.

[@genesis577]

Lady behind the mirror your like a beautiful mom i never had. Thank and may God bless you and family in Jesus name amen. Thank you.

[@CheezInspector]

A persistant state of confusion while with that one person can be the 1st red flag that there's toxicity.

[@DaRyteJuan]

The abuse gets really bad when you’ve finally realized you’re in an abusive relationship you can’t get out of, and so while you stop taking the bait, then you get criticized for being shut down all the time. She can’t say to this person, “I’m shut down because of the abuse,” because then she’ll REALLY fly into a NARCISSISTIC RAGE. You can’t gray rock them, and you can’t react to them either. You will attacked no matter what strategy you employ.

[@DeeCee1878]

I had the same experience. About 8 months before he discarded me, I had learned to disengage peacefully when he raged about nothing. He insulted me, trying hard to pull me in, but I stayed calm and did not react. He seemed to get even angrier and more vindictive, and when he left me, he accused me of saying and doing things I never did, and “ arguing” with him. Wth?! You really can’t win with these people! They create a reality in their own minds that have no truth to it and believe it!

[@theforeigner6988]

12:46 EXACTLY! After all, EVERYBODY out there loves this charming lovely helpful humorous angel, and she's nice to everybody... So it's another EVIDENCE that I am a worthless piece of... , like my narcissistic father convinced me from birth to my twenties.

[@Alex-bb9lc]

Exactly what happened to me. No contact healed me.

[@mores5780]

I saw no abuse, only a loving man, i blamed myself 100%. But i started feeling absolute dread being around him.

[@izi.z2384]

Another reason is that some narcissists can be very helpful and can seem to be "ok" however they are still negatively affecting our lives and because they are not the absolute worst - it is easy to just stay in this "so so blah blah" taking you down slowly relationship.

[@tamaragaines562]

It's easy to justify behavior's that we don't understand or never been through! Because we as humans only know abuse as evident or obvious! We've never experienced hidden abuse! So early on we trust and believe this person that we believed loved us has our best entrance at heart! It actually takes repeated offenses for us to actually see what's really going on! My wakening moments was whenever I got the strength to leave taking him back was me believing that he was actually trying to work on himself! But then the patterns would start all over again! That's when I said to myself, clearly he knows how to behave, he just chooses not too! And that's what gave me the strength to leave!

[@kellithomas9080]

Yessss! I did it with my ex/father of our 7 year old for YEARS!! It was the most confusing thing I’ve ever been apart of! I didn’t start doing the real work until 2021 and realized it wasn’t me! We all bring something to the table, but he wanted me to be responsible for the reasons we’d ended, but it was him the whole time. He had the addictions, he had the hidden friends and other toxic things going on that ultimately caused the failures with us. He used to say “You act like I beat your ass or call you out your name and I’m this horrible guy” but it was the other subtle abuse and I couldn’t explain it to anyone! I just knew I always felt confused and kept trying to work on being a better person for him, for us. That makes me angry, but also relieved that I understand what happened. He’s still the same guy I met in 2010. He just picked up a few good habits from other people and learned to hide who he is better. But no real change at all! I was right about him in the beginning when I would call him out. He made me believe I was unreasonable and crazy so I doubted myself, but looking back, I had him figured out in the beginning. 🤦‍♀️

[@tamaragaines562]

@@kellithomas9080 we were figuring them out the whole time and didn't even know it. But because we've never experienced this kind of abuse and didn't know what was behind it, It caused us to have doubts! We had all the pieces to the puzzles the whole time and didn't even know it!😅

[@El-bz1tq]

They must transfer the disappointment they feel within themselves to you. This they can do without a word. Actually it is not what you do that disappoint them but your whole being. Goes back to how they see themselves.

[@rubberbiscuit99]

This is such a good explanation. After leaving an abusive marriage, it took years for me to see how my family of origin set me up to accept mistreatment, make excuses for it, and keep on going in the fake relationship. It's a lot. Our society allows and enables abuse and even rewards abusers. I see it changing, but the exposure process comes first, and it is so ugly.

[@SenSakura-dj6bq]

It is not just raging or insulting. It is the constant disapproval, everything you do is wrong, it comes in the form of disrespectful comments and gestures. It is also what they don't do, having a household with children and neglecting every single responsibility. It is being accused of being an abuser because you won't tolerate poor behavior. It is being treated all the time as if you owe them something. It is, after years of that, being brutally discarded and replaced and being made responsible for everything, cheating included.

[@LookingBehindtheMirror]

Yes. Well said. That’s so true. Sometimes the most hurtful things were said or done calmly or maybe even with a smile.

[@lindajohnsonkaplan647]

Another cliche that people tell abuse victims (and they tell themselves): You’re responsible for your own happiness, no one else. Or it’s variant: You can choose to be happy.

[@angelafavorutesboyd1294]

I Have been In an abusive relationship (ALL OF MY LIFE!)FROM EVERYONE IN MY LIFE?!!!

[@JacquelinePletscher-x9w]

I am sorry dear. I am praying that God makes a way. God hates abuse . Hates it.

[@christofstanits]

there are sooo many of them its like an ocean

[@alysiahite7086]

Thank you so much for pointing out the dynamics of the abuse from the narcissistic victim's point of view. You are on point. Been away from my ex covery narcissistic physopath husband for 7 years. No one has the right to treat others like crap. I am a healthy minded empathetic person. I deserve respect and love. Been on the other side of abuse for a long time now. I was stuck in the abuse for 32 years.

[@CC-jt3fp]

We're so good at deceiving ourselves and projecting our own good intentions onto the narcissist. As you say, we believe they love us and have our backs despite their hurtful words or callous manner. Eventually we learn we have been so blind, so clueless to the hurt and damage we now carry as a survivor. Trying to forgive ourselves for not seeing the abuse, not protecting our children, the guilt, the sadness you feel when someone says, why did you trust him! This abuse brings alot of victim shaming and judgement. Then there's the post divorce abuse, the haters and the regret you feel that you were taken advantage of. I had a man say, are you the type of women that drives a man to abuse you. Flying monkeys who mock you for your goodness. Thankfully, I have a strong sense of self. No amount of projection or gaslighting will cause me to blame myself for the abuse or believe I'm a bad person who doesn't deserve love, support, dignity or respect.

[@amandapeterson8206]

You are amazing! SPOT ON!! Thank you for taking the time to reach out & help people understand these type of mind-$#@ks. You are saying EVERYTHING that took me MONTHS to unpack, break down & figure out! Down to belief systems & the discrepancy between your own perceptions of what "abuse" really is. What it looks like "for everyone else." And what that same concept looks like in your OWN LIFE. Everyone knows that when he beats the shit out of you, it's abuse. Everyone knows if he calls you a slew of horrible names, it's abuse. If hes unreasonably controlling with money, what you wear and/or who your friends can be, it's abusive. But there's far more insidiously abusive tactics in their tool box of bullshit than we're taught to look for that FLY UNDER THE RADAR for most people. And even fly under the radar for the victim's friends & family. At least for the first half of the "relationship." You have to seriously REWIRE your brain(belief system) to really wrap your mind around it. The further you get away from that crazy town, the clearer & clearer things become. And suddenly the relationship looks nothing like it did while you were actually in it. Chances are, you were always too busy defending why you lost your shit on him(after the first 7 times you talked/acted/asked respectfully....that you didnt have the energy to see the relationship as-a-whole and for what it really was. It totally sneaks up on you. *The Reactive Abuse "Trap" is also a whole other level that can add a ton of trauma & make it even harder to see your way out.

[@jules5501]

Your insight is truely incredible and has helped me soooo much, you have sooooo many videos that have brought so much clarity to what i was going through.....in my opinion, you're one of the best youtubers about narcissism and narcissistic relationships, (you and the little shaman....and ive watched MANY) .... i just really want to thank you for what you do!

[@melisakraft30]

100% agree--the best on the topic.

[@LookingBehindtheMirror]

Thank you so much! The Little Shaman was the one that helped me understand what was happening to me. The reason I do this is so I can help people the way she helped me, so your compliment means a lot.

[@stevenli3034]

the abuse might be hard to see, but the result(damage) isn't (hard to see).

[@rozalina531]

Sad but true unfortunately 🙏🏻😔

[@foxiefair123]

They agree with you that no one is perfect, that’s why they cheat on you.

[@panfried7566]

yep. 25 years before i saw what I never thought existed. once seen, it cannot be unseen.

[@divine.1.Z]

💯💯💯😮

[@jamessutton9874]

You are so right that I knew nothing about narcissist when I met her 40 years ago and I am just learning what happened to me. I knew something was wrong with her the week we got married, we were on our so called honeymoon and as we were traveling she started raging like I never seen before. This went on and off for about 4 days and I said to myself something is wrong here but then she would be nice and that's what keep me in with her. She was lucky that I didn't just follow my heart and now each day go by I wished I would have followed my intuition but I thank God that I know now.

[@Monalisa0622]

Sir I hope you're healing and doing well.

[@lexander_The_Grape]

This video deserves an award. No joke. There is so much life wisdom in it. 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@karindegraaf246]

Thanks for this video, you really sum it up very clearly! One factor to add is the "frog in the hot water" effect. When the abuse is increased very gradually and is intersperced with good/normal treatment, you become habituated to be treated that way and it becomes harder to fully recognize it. And then there is the trauma bond/betrayal bond of intermittent reinforcement, which is a whole topic on its own.

[@Moonlvr555]

My dear, you are so knowledgeable on the topic. Thank you 💗. You put everything I’m going through so eloquently. I’ve been going through so many digestive issues and I think it’s my body’s response to me having a hard time digesting the fact that the person I thought was my soulmate, is actually a narcissistic abuser.

[@arthurkoene5592]

It is so good to hear someone explaining and advocating what I have been going through. It’s unbelievable, the resemblence between my experience and your explanation

[@kaystephens2672]

I love your brutally honest information about these horrible people. I had an adopted pack of them. Sometimes it takes them passing away before you can face the horror of just how horrible they really were. The scales are never balanced. And this is the generational curse. That their hate gets passed down.

[@angiehayes7397]

This whole vid is 💯 but @15:40 you grabbed my attn & kept it. You really do get it bc you really have lived it & your compassion is authentic. Shi+ hurts don't it? I'm very near radical acceptance & I feel like I'm losing my mind. Thank you for validating my feelings ❤

[@nicholecornes1915]

No it doesn't just hurt it kills your soul

[@KleeKaiBreeders]

It took a long time to admit to myself that I was being abused. I did not want that to be true. No, not me. Please not me. But eventually it was just so obvious that I couldn’t deny it. And I had to face it and keep moving forward and thank God for videos like these. They help so much!

[@Monalisa0622]

I understand. Now that I'm gone I realized I was in DV situation.

Narcs do not and can not LOVE, FEEL EMPATHY, REGRET, REMORSE.

[@farrellhuff3889]

it may seem so simple in your head but it is turmoil in a narcs head

[@PattiLindekugel]

you comment of abusive people are terrible all the time, and only good people help other people, hits home so much.. Thank you for your videos. Its helping me heal and leave an abusive relationship

[@SheilaTrueLove]

I don't understand how a person don't know when they're being abused if someone is treating me badly I know that it's not a good thing and that's when I pull out

[@LookingBehindtheMirror]

Because abusers convince you that it’s your fault. They convince you that they’re mad at you because YOU did something to deserve it. So you focus on your self and you focus on defending yourself instead of seeing it for what it is.

[@SirGregg]

Wow! I can see a different picture of what was really happening for 15 years 25 years ago. A con artist leading a double life. So many things start to fall into place once the true nature of these people is revealed. I did not think her behavior was abuse because i did not join the dots. Now i can see how she was controlling me to make time for other men.

[@elizabethash4720]

Its not easy to maintain stability in a busy world, in the case of narcicists its the frog slowly getti g cooked in the pot. Ive taken the stance that rude behaviour is wrong, and the first sign of it, Im out. I feel a shift in my being that I take as a warning and Ive learned to listen and respond without delay.❤

[@attractarattigan3574]

Family GP of 35 yrs told me to leave.

[@karenk2409]

Good doctor. He/she knew exactly what was happening to you.

[@BarryD-Stylize]

Unconditional 'Hope' is what keeps the empath from 'seeing' and believing the reality of the situation. Unfortunately, in these relationships, hope has repeatedly proved useless .... like the title of the old, evergreen song, 'Helplessly Hoping' by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young (CSNY).

[@aubreyj.tennant1123]

Excellent! These are critical and powerful distinctions of what most of us go through in developing trauma, mistrust and depression. We believe so much that humans are inherently good and they must be right because no one would be an abuser. It must be our fault. Even when we realize the behavior is wrong we believe that all that has to happen now is to make it better, get help, change ourselves or be the support they need because they are suffering from a mental illness and we can be the support they never received. The best course of action is to leave but that concept is an even harder thing to wrap our brains and heart around. We don’t give up on our lovers, children, parents, grandparents, best friends, spouses or siblings etc. Thank you LBTM for this: (what’s really going on in our head and heart) Take off the rose coloured glasses, grasp realty and RUN AWAY FROM THEM AND NEVER LOOK BACK!!! 🙏🏼😊

[@karinesavard2016]

True, I had to move out, there was no escaping this reality he was trying to destroy my life 😢🙏❤ He never had my best interests at heart although he repeatedly said he respected me, his actions didn't align.

[@nicholecornes1915]

They are dangerous so dangerous

[@brookerutherford6249]

This video was so helpful! My ex changed a tire for me early when we were dating and I also did nice things for him, but when the abuse started, he would always go back to that and back to all the good things at the beginning of our relationship. He had a TBI as well and then the abuse was worse. I always wanted to blame it on the TBI, but it did start before that. This video spelled out EVERYTHING I dealt with, even with family members. No one understands. Thank you for this insight and validation.

[@janinegwendolinesmith7174]

I find your podcasts so very helpful. You have a real gift for explaining the aspects of a narcissistic relationship in a way that is really accessible. Thank you!

[@NPDexplained]

We start justifying abuse

[@rascallyrabbit]

and that is the beginning of self-hatred. we take the cloak of self-hatred off them and put it on us.

[@emmarae4322]

For survival.

[@NarrelleChain]

I feel i cannot yrust any close relationship anymore, my family are all npd and it seems many of my close relationships have been with npds or mentally ill people, I just have to learn to be alone for rest of my life, even my cat is a time bomb as he is defei wont go into it! Thanks for your insightful, intelligent discussions, appreciated! My cat is beautiful, ragdoll, just toileting problem,

[@viviankang]

I think people with disabilities are even more prone to narcissistic abuse. Like myself who has ASD and ADHD, every time i try to call out my husband's behaviour, he would use my disabilities to go and against me. Lacking social skills means it's always me who says things incorrectly and understand things incorrectly. When i said just because i have my own issues and limitations that doesn't mean you have no problem. My husband would basically laugh about it and said," you want to compare your problems with mine?"( It's like how dare you)," your problem is unchangeable, it impacts us way more than mine." After that sort of comment, i really have no idea what else i can say to him 😢

[@sadiamufti8890]

❤❤

[@shahanakarani8478]

Your unbelievable spot on with this .. makes things so clear .. thank you

[@susanfernandez5817]

Thank you so much for this video. This was so well explained and made so much sense. It helped explain to me why I stayed so long in an abusive marriage to a narcissist. Thank god I finally stopped justifying his behaviour to myself and I woke up and got the strength to leave. He used all of those tactics that you described to blame everything on me and I believed it for a long long time.

[@Joy-pj2tw]

Our parents were emotionally not available

[@rascallyrabbit]

i found i needed good people to be around after escaping the narcissist 2B vital.

[@earthrooster1969]

My Mom used to find sneaky ways of putting me down. Only I knew and she knew what was going on... Only now i understand after analysing my childhood days...as a child I never put the two and two together

[@rascallyrabbit]

oh my, I just listened to this again. damn, spot on. we have no compass for life. we came from dumpster fires. we got involved with a dumpster fire. we have no compass for knowing it is a dumpster fire. we have no direction home as Bob Dylan once said. we don't even know what a dumpster without a fire looks like. We just start leaving and hope it doesn't end like the movie, The Burning Bed with Farrah Fawcet. Anyone who survives escaping these Soviet Gulags in the Archipelago is amazing.

[@sadiamufti8890]

😂😂

[@stylist62]

I ignored many thing while in it, my friend was the one who told me, while I had hope, I thought love was the most powerful thing z, but not with a narc, they suck the life out of you. Easy to think they just need patience and a normal life

[@fmbezanjo4254]

Totally agree ❤️

[@mikeseitz2792]

Nailed it

[@amyteurlife9408]

Creating 22.50 - losing almost all, after already losing almost all. Coming out of a long period of time trying to explain a better way for us, trying to save them from drowning, but now I have to save myself. Repetitive Compulsion compels us to repeat certain actions, especially the most painful ones - a subconscious motivation to repeat a circumstance in order to get it right. The child's true identity gets pushed underground in face of fear, neglect, so they try to follow the identity rules of the caregiver to please them, to become perfect, to get love and acceptance...but impossible in that dysfunctional family, so altered ego remains, true self is hidden resulting in shame, self hate. After trying to be perfect fails, we feel innately and fatally flawed in our parents eyes, other eyes, God's eye - I AM the flaw. We grow up and w/o healing get a partner with similar traits as parents, trying to repeat situation so we can finally have closure and make it right, be good enough.

[@lexander_The_Grape]

So wise. Tysm. You described who I used to be. And the situation I was in.

[@monicaelyn2393]

Wow. By 4:30 said it all. I have watched hundreds of videos on narcissism and this was the most 'precise' representation of what I felt/went through. And now 31 years later... Thank you SO much 'Looking Behind the Mirror!'

[@ArtsDignity]

Thank you! You helped me a lot. Im watching you since the abuser beats me and you were in my ears and made me think a lot 💪🏻🔥🤘🏻 #iwillmakeit

[@catherinerousselle3104]

Your words have made a life changing effect on me… can’t say more right now but I’m deeply grateful

[@Tronnixx]

Your videos help me a lot about what I think about my own situation. I am thankful for this video.

[@jainetu]

This channel has really great information, it resonates with me a lot more than other channels that are more popular. You deserve bigger viewership, keep going and thank you for your content.

[@Imnotyourdoormat]

*_ALL consumable products sold in the U.S. must contain content labels with their data listed in plain view and in priority... Except cigarettes. They're totally immune from these regulations. And why is that again? ..._*

[@grace692]

Thank you! This video provides such understanding, self-forgiveness and relief.

[@grizzleegurr7421]

He was probly the one that gave you the flat tire because he knew that you would call him to help you. It happened to me. I also had to have my hot water tank repaired too many times; the pilot light kept faltering....They are very sneaky, unsuspecting criminals. You could be at work, and they could be in your house....

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

Dad blamed me for abusing me and that I was at fault. Not true. Only his fault. I gave up on his lies!

[@AnnaMishel]

You are sooo right!

[@jules5501]

LOVE this video, THANK YOU!!!

[@El-bz1tq]

This makes so much sense ❤

[@Kevkin]

Thank you 🙏🏼

[@marymccormack2317]

Thank u for that. Best I have heard. ❤👍🙏

[@attractarattigan3574]

Thank you.

[@CheezInspector]

Thank you. I get a strong sense this vid is saving people's lives. You're helping lift stigma that abuse survivors so often face alone, to empower them to leave.

[@victoriavitoroulis3273]

It took me 35 yrs too discover what this mind f he really was .. I thought it was bi polar , I wonder if anyone else thought this before they realized this is NPD .

[@ligyasouza755]

Great video

[@התרבושסיורים]

thanks! great channel ❤️

[@sadiamufti8890]

I have ruined my life justifying this behaviour in my head. After all I had kids to raise😢. Everybody kept telling me that something is clearly off with me. But I was too scared and stupid to accept the obvious. Now,with adult kids it has become a much greater nightmare😢. For any young person reading this,just know that Allah has given us mental faculties that better be used or we will forget who we are . So if you find yourself in such a situation, run as far away as you can from this carzy person! Remember, life is too precious to be wasted on psychos. All the best. 👍👍

[@CTSCAPER]

Excellent video. Thank you!

[@HRPFayetteville]

Yeah, well, the reality is. They're not like that all the time.

[@LookingBehindtheMirror]

That’s absolutely true, and it does nothing to make up for the times when they ARE “like that”.

[@fragrenscat9468]

The key is we get it back to front " they are a lovely person who is sometimes awful. to me" or "they have 2 sides" Shannon thomas says if you belive either of theses statements you will never heal.. you have to face the truth about who they really are@@LookingBehindtheMirror

[@ianarn]

It angers me how cheaply she would threaten to end the relationship! I would be told all the time that “we’re going to be together forever”. “Near and far always together”. Programming me with the Donna Lewis 90s hit. I suppose in a way unless I stop this push pull cycle this could happen but not in the way I originally thought. I’m shocked at the lack of sentiment she’s capable of!

[@emmarae4322]

My ex was always threatening me with the end of our relationship when confronted about his behavior. All they have is black and white thinking. You are either all good or all bad.

[@farrellhuff3889]

but you won't change and what looking behind the mirror is trying to tell you is smash the mirror and get back to yourself before you met the narc .

[@Oliver-wq8vg]

I have researched Narcissism in depth from Trained profession such as Doctor Ramani , Jerry Wise and many others. The strange thing is, all of there info suggest it is the narc that refuses to change and accommodate, even the smallest and simplest request.and instead will gaslight you to tears. Claiming memory loss and many other excuses. This channel and its commenters appears to be taking the side of the Narc and then doubling down.

[@kingsagenda]

I've accepted that God isn't going to do anything to change my situation. My ex still abuses me n our 7 yr old. It is what it is.

[@karenk2409]

No, it is not!! It continues because, knowing what is going on, you choose to submit yourself. Please realized that you have made a decision to sacrifice your 7 yr old to this! You are an accessory to that abuse, shame on you. Fight it. If your ex is abusing your child, gather evidence and a lawyer, the cost be damned.

[@amyteurlife9408]

FUTURE VIDEO: any advice for person in long term abusive marriage, wanting out, but won't go unless they find adultery and is porn adultery?

[@gaileling1999]

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@gailjordan9170]

I do not feel that the abuse is my fault at all. It comes from my husband’s own inner torments. I am not able to leave the relationship at the present, unfortunately. However, what he says, while hurtful, is not believable. Mostly he projects his fears and insecurities on me. I know I am not that. Not all of us in abusive relationships believe the lies.

[@farrellhuff3889]

forgiving yourself comes from realizing a narcs problems that you allowed in

[@amothergoddess2774]

EVEN THE OTHER DAY SHE RANG ME, BEING ALL NICE AND I FELL FOR IT FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME, I GET CAUGHT OFF GUARD BT END OF BRIEF CONVERSATION SHE COULD HARDLY BE BOTHERED TO TALK TO ME; THIS FAKE NICE, THEN REALLY NASTY GOES ON ENDLESSLY, I HATE HER INSIDES (GUTS) I'VE CUT THE OTHER PARASITE OFF (SISTER), SHE'LL RING AGAIN BUT I WILL NEVER SPEAK TO HER AGAIN UNLESS I HAVE TO! ONE AT A TIME!

[@Joy-pj2tw]

I feel like I was born into abuse 😂

[@debracappiccille6485]

Me too. Too many to count 😢

[@SoniaProteau-cj6tk]

❤

[@infantrycaptain9224]

I would never fall for that Bullshit...

[@Truth-matters-v2z]

And when. Your narcissist is in a true cult ….

[@Monicaphelan-kiely]

So so disappointing and so so sad the torture ur suffering

[@Monicaphelan-kiely]

Thank you

[@NarrelleChain]

Nobody who isn't bei g a used is not going to be watching this!😂😂😂😂😂❤