Moving In With Your Partner Before Getting Married | Relationship Advice | Lucie Fink & Michael

[@candaceabernathy7568]

PLEASE TALK ABOUT HOW SPLITTING MONEY WORKS IN A RELATIONSHIP *PLEASE*

[@electricblue3]

My situation is similar to hers. i’ve been with my man since 09 & we are planning a wedding for next year. we lived with a friend for 5 years & then we’ve been renting a home for about 2-3 years. we split all our bills evenly because that is what works for us. i don’t think we will ever open up a joint account. keeping our bank accounts separate works for us

[@GQuesnelle]

this was hard for us, but ultimately both paycheques go into one account and that gets split between bills/spending/saving. If you're that committed to each other there's no longer "mine" or "yours". We obviously consult with each other before making big purchases though.

[@TheCheerleader30]

Please!!

[@courtneymerkelbargo1452]

My fiance and I live together and hit some rough times that ultimately led us to put all paychecks in one account, sit down and talk and prioritize what was necessary for both of us, and go from there. We just don't have a concept of "mine" or "yours", we just naturally are ok with the sharing and taking care of each other aspect (we're young and in college, and will continue this as we get married, get "real" jobs etc). It's so liberating to be on the same page financially, and work towards those goals together. To each their own of course!

[@Lisasplace]

it works through communication

[@rebeccacohen936]

Great video as always! I moved in with my fiancé after he proposed, I was calmer knowing we were engaged and planning to get married before moving in. I think it's important to have a clear understanding of where the relationship is headed and feel a certain commitment before choosing to share a space together. Some people think of living together as a "trial" run, and it can feel that way if you both haven't established where the relationship is headed and if you're not on the same page. Some don't mind though, so it's an interesting topic!

[@jesaann93]

Thank you for starting this video showing respect to the people who's culture or religion does not adhere to moving in together before marriage. My coworkers are always astonished that because of religious reasons none of my closest friends lived with their SO before marriage. And I also plan on not living with my future SO before we get married.

[@luciebfink]

[@SamarkandChan]

As a European it is a bit of a strange notion to not live with your partner before getting married. Of course some don't live togheter for religious reasons or long distance, but it's more the norm to live together before making such a huge commitment.

[@mindattack33]

totally agree with you

[@ACommeAnita]

Absolutely! Moving with somebody allows you to know the person in their good and bad days. Also somebody's habits can't be hidden when you move with them (ability to manage money, debts, communication, cleanliness). All these things can't be seen without moving together first.

[@Hanna-nw8mn]

I wouldn't say it is strange not to move in before marriage - I know plenty of people who chose not to, including myself ;) And while for me it's because I'm a christian, not all of those people did it because of their beliefs.

[@elisbunce]

Its in some of europian countries, im europian and only of that rule i got to know only through socal media

[@viannyp2028]

I agree too, but with a fiance, if you plan to marry not too long after. I think is such an important thing to know the dynamic of living together before making such a huge commitment and you need to be sure about your person to see if your habits align. But only with fiancé. Living together is also a huge investment of money, time, labor, and energy and the person needs to be worth it.

[@Gghhb664]

To all the people who cannot move in with their partner before marriage, just know that he married her despite knowing that lucie screams in her sleep and wakes him up 😂 If that didn’t break them, I‘m sure you can handle whatever trait you find out about your partner after marriage.

[@luciebfink]

HAHAHA

[@shonnacarl3117]

I could not agree more! My relationship is on an eerily similar path as both of you and we moved in together in August. Dating for 6 years before that makes you feel like you know it all but you don't!! So fun to have firsts again! Plus that NYC rent is WILD so saving was amazing! Love this video!

[@lillialovell8203]

Michael is so eloquent!!! I aspire to have such a relationship some day! (Also so many of these videos are just one personality showing, yet, it was so refreshing to hear from both of your perspectives!)

[@daryllepedrosa692]

This was nice to listen to. My partner and I have been together for 8 years and we’re finally moving in. I feel like it’s more conservative to move in after getting married, but I feel like we’ve definitely got used to each other already. Long vacations and just staying together for a month or so because of we were long distance. Thanks for sharing this positive and realistic perspective!

[@kflecha1]

This video is really comforting to me I need to hear this message ❤🥹

[@sonikakapoor96]

you guys made my heart smile with how much you love each other and are so in sync, it's so cute!! Thank you for being so respectful for other people's cultures about moving in before marriage. Wishing you lifetime and beyond of happiness!!

[@justmeherexx482]

Privacy needs are definitely something to talk about. My 😍 Michael and I are very very different when it comes to privacy. I like quiet time. I NEED quiet time. He would rather chat. It took us awhile, and it took some hurt feelings but we found our happy medium. He’s very respectful of my quiet time and I’m more likely to shut my book, or iPad and just chat with him or catch up on stuff or just be. I do better by myself so it was hard for me at first. But now I enjoy our time chatting as much as I do our down time, which we usually do together now. We’ve been married 11 years now (2nd marriage for both of us) and we are doing amazing. My husband has cancer (advanced) so we take every moment we can just to be together. #lovetheoneyourewith

[@teganstockdale3243]

It was really interesting to hear Michael's comments. It's not often that we get to hear it from a guy's perspective. I wish you'd let him go on or maybe have another video about it in future.

[@Vane-no6rm]

both: "boats" , soo cuteee

[@pointegirl941]

This is a really good video and very informative for people on the fence. Y’all are so cute together!!

[@ericalange9668]

Absolutely wild you are making this video. My boyfriend and I of 7 years are moving in together and I’ve been looking for books and stuff to help!

[@Lisasplace]

I think any person should move in with their partner before getting marriesd. every quirk could get very annoying very fast. You need to know if you're compatible (on any part really)

[@catalinabaron8935]

Getting early access to these videos makes my day.

[@dandylionriver]

I really want someone that'll look at me the way that Lucie looks at Michael, and someone that will shade my eyes ftom the sun the way that Michael did for Lucie. Someday.. ♡ #RelationshipGoals

[@isabellac3598]

This is great to listen to because I am in the exact same boat. We dated in high school, are about to start/finish our last year of long distance college, and are planning to move in together afterwards. Thank you!!

[@therealshortnpretty]

This video has helped me out, me and my significant other are moving in together next month after 2 years of dating. Many people have told me “No don’t do it” until marriage. Than some have said if we do it we should be married within 6 months” I’m over the whole thing and we decided to do what’s best for us. Every relationship is different.

[@Slidehhy]

How is it going now

[@mike619]

@@Slidehhy *crickets* 😂

[@ericalange9668]

CAn you PLEASE do a video about how to have a conversation about expectations? I love my boyfriend and we’re moving in together... but I don’t know what to say. What do you talk about when it comes to expectations?

[@RyanandMelissaPage]

How did your expectations conversation go? Hope you guys have moved in and are loving growing together!

[@wanderfulescape773]

I got engaged with someone after dating them 3 1/2 years. We started living with each other during the engagement and it was a disaster. We were completely incompatible. And he didn't pitch in a dime. I'm now in a new relationship and I wish I could fast forward everything t where I left off and that he would live with me so I can see if we are really compatible...but I can't say that because I know he'll find that weird/rushed. We haven't had much of a financial talk yet. He made it clear he wants separate finances and I understand that. I'll NEVER get married BEFORE having them live with me. I have lost trust in men and they need to SHOW me they love me.

[@viannyp2028]

Yes, I agree that you need to live with someone to make such a huge lifetime commitment like marriage or engagement, but there are actually a lot of things you can learn about a person while you're dating them to know if you are compatible and align with each other not only to move in but to be in a relashionship with, (to make sure that person is 100% commitment to you, whether is a more formal commitment like engagement. cleaning habits, how they handle their finances, how they treat you and other people, travel together, mindsets, goals, values, morals, personality traits, plans for marriage, etc). Moving in is huge and it's best to know the investment you'll make in that person is gonna be worth it and not end up being a forever girlfriend, that's what dating is for (since a lot of men like to take advantage of women a lot). Glad you found out on time you weren't the right fit for each other.

[@pricklypear1111]

I have night terrors and sleep running/walking and I'm moving in with my boyfriend next month! So nervous but he is so supportive

[@alicecullenator22]

after many sleepovers for a the first two years i finally moved in with my partner year 3. we already spend a lot of time together and so far its been pretty seamless. That being said, because of the many sleepovers before the final move we definitely worked out kinks AKA women shed and it drives him crazy so i have to clean the shower more often lol. anyone else's partner complain about finding hair everywhere or am i experiencing hair loss? lol

[@altfactor]

I'll probably move in with my longtime girlfriend in the next few months (we've been together fifteen years). I don't know if we'll ever get married (as we're both in our mid sixties and she's beyond the age of having biological children), but we do plan to stay together for the rest of our lives one way or another.

[@makaylal2845]

My dad moved in with my mom and her parents when she was 17 and then when she was 25 they got married and then one year later my mom got pregnant with me

[@lanv1973]

Loved this video! Can you delve on how to talk to your partner about finances?

[@sendnoodle5]

I would just suggest not buying a house together unless you're married.

[@natureisbeautiful9675]

You guys are such a great couple and I love the advice in this video!

[@advaginton2302]

Love to see your talking about living together🙏🙏i enjoy the honesty about every aspect 👍that was usuful

[@othtania00]

Is it just me or does he look like Novak djokovic??

[@leobertazzi3909]

I know right 😂😂

[@rickyalger8569]

Great video guys.. Thanks for being so candit..

[@Nicreb]

I loved how long this video was!! ❤️🤓👍🏽

[@Alexandra-ft3gq]

I love videos like this, very useful and nice to hear, at least for me. Cause I'm around the same place in life

[@acrobaticanna]

Bear Grills talks about his first place place with his wife in his book! They lived in a boat!

[@alexperkins7121]

I unexpectedly moved in with my boyfriend because of the quarentine after he picked me up from college in March and I think because we havent been together that often, (long distance for 2 years) we but heads about a lot of our habits. He works a lot even from home but I have been finishing up school and am graduating (today!) So I've been taking on the role of cooking and cleaning the best j can but i cant help that I'm being taken advantage of sometimes. How do we go from only seeing each other on weekends to seeing each other 24/7 and not having to fight and just talk about stuff?

[@isabellac3598]

I don’t know if this will answer the question but my boyfriend hates cleaning he’s a slob. So one thing I made clear from the beginning was SUNDAY FUNDAY aka Sunday we’re cleaning the whole space and YOU’RE helping. So he knew at least if the room was getting bad by Sunday it would have to be all cleaned up. We also split chores he hates doing laundry so I do laundry and I feel meh about dishes so he does the dishes. I would making it clear to him that you can’t live the way you currently are, that for your relationship you feel like it’s unsustainable and he’ll have to pick up the slack. THEN it’s also important to start noticing the small things the changes that he may be making to accommodate you that you may not even notice or appreciate. That can help as well.

[@hadeelalharthi9604]

I totally agree with you guys but as you said in the beginning of your video your culture is agree with moving in before marriage here in my culture is not allowed I mean as an Arab we should married before we move in with our partners however I want to comment about Michael’s phrase ( rent not buy) in where I am come from we prefer to buy not rent! anyways love you guys! Be safe..

[@Tonyredbone]

your video quality was real good. Can you tell me what camera you use?

[@kateretherford8336]

GREAT VIDEO!!!!!!

[@alliyahaleciascott]

Lovely couple

[@Isabella-mx9nv]

Hi lucie! I love you so much! Your amazing and so beautiful. You are Michel are perfect for each other! Love you!

[@Soulmate210]

You two are so cute!!

[@melonmadd273]

you guys are the cutest :))

[@patriciacobos]

Thank you for sharing 🌷💫

[@smrithisondur3781]

Love you lucie

[@emfriedman8894]

#FinkFam!

[@Artof_vrose]

Can we get an update? I’m scarred to take anyone’s advice because they will give advice and turn out the couple split. Just scarred on who to trust when I don’t have any good role models to help us work through a relationship where we just started living together

[@decolletage109]

in my small country it's not very possible to move in together unless you're rich and can afford private estates. so young couples have to suck it up.

[@celaender5185]

Hi Lucie! PLEASE HELP (and anyone who sees this)! My boyfriend of 4 years is getting his own place in a couple of months and I decided to not live with roommates and live at hole instead to save a ton of money. We will be moving in together the next year and we’ve talked about me basically staying there with him a bunch of the time. How should I address the money stuff? I feel bad staying there 4/7 days or something like that and not paying for anything even though I know he’s not the type to mind/care. Do I bring up the fact that I want to help pay for stuff? Or bring up what he thinks if I am going to be there a ton? I just don’t want to be rude and not help. Is that something people do though??

[@isabellac3598]

Be appreciative, make it known to him how thankful you are and then keep that coin in your bank.

[@MiyukiItachi]

@@isabellac3598 That's still being a mooch. At the very least, she could be paying for half the utilities.

[@CamilleLouisa]

what camera do you use?

[@tzipporahberger1725]

#earlyaccess #finkfam

[@valentinaolivieri3946]

What would you say to someone who thinks moving in together before getting married takes away "all those firsts" (mentioned in video) and that is part of the journey of getting married?

[@mariahcanty]

Valentina Olivieri Life is a constant journey, so you’re always going to have your “firsts” along the way. You might experience “firsts” with friends, siblings or family members and not with your partner and vice versa. There are a lot of experiences I went through by myself and with friends, and not my partner & vice versa. If that makes sense! Lol

[@lamchonghoijulie2148]

So beautiful ❤️❤️❤️ Make a prank video for fun next time 🤭

[@acrobaticanna]

Not every couple is as successful as you! For every couple that lasts doing it this way, 1000s don't get to the wedding part!! Your poor twin seems to have been a lot less lucky. I feel for her!!!

[@luciebfink]

She's engaged!!

[@sophiasuon9311]

can you do a video about zodiac signs?

[@shunadehamilton4319]

As the saying goes, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free! Why do all this wifely duties and get sex with someone who clearly doesn't love and respect you enough to marry you! And if you notice you would see couples who move in together take MANY years before they get married! I rather ask God to show me the one and observe him without living with him and than move in, do wifely duties, sleep with them with no commitments. Don't let the world fool you. You don't have to move in with someone to know their bad habits. People back then didn't do it and had or still have happy marriages and that statement is definite proof! Be Wise!

[@amysamuelson3695]

But what’s the point of marriage (other than tax breaks and all dat) if you already do all the married people stuff before you’re married, including all the conflict and stuff...like just get married lol.

[@mariahcanty]

Amy Samuelson it’s important to deal with conflicts and things BEFORE marriage because if not, you go into a marriage not knowing a lot about your partner. They’ve been together for awhile so when do you flip on the just my boyfriend and now he’s my husband switch? At that point, you should be seeing what your partner will offer as a husband or wife. Marriage brings a lot of responsibility to the table & you have to be prepared. Also, weddings are expensive as crap and people might be finishing school or trying to advance in their career while still wanting to be with their partner but not being able to invest in a nice wedding that they have the goal of having one day.

[@viannyp2028]

@@mariahcanty I agree with you, they need to have a strong foundation first before making such a huge lifetime commitment, but I have to admit Amy is kinda of making a good point.

[@salandersalgado4038]

So sad he cheated on her 😔

[@shamylachaudhry6200]

How do you know?

[@dantoinettetaylor1663]

@@shamylachaudhry6200 good question

[@acrobaticanna]

Normally the guys don't pull the weight with the dishes!! Woman do soooo much once they have kids,

[@phish_1]

Ohh when are you going to get married? She is not a wife but a live in partner only!

[@rexthomas2259]

He hardly talks LOL.

[@zupinu2000]

are your eyes this huge or is this make up?

[@sydlopez4659]

#finkfam

[@GabyGarcia-mi1eo]

I'm going to be honest, when Michael said your relationship is as close to perfect as relationships get, it made me want to run the other direction. It just sort of emphasizes comparison and sets you up above others rather than equal playing field. Idk I am a new subscriber and this kind of made me want to unsubscribe right off the bat tbh. I just am not sure I need to hear about how near-perfect someone else's bond is, or what the true purpose of that is.

[@norinerome4822]

It’s not recommended🙄🙄🙄but you guys do you 😬😬😬

[@thebakerygirl09]

#finkfam