MALÖRT MIXOLOGY 101

I'M DROWNING IN A SEA OF CHICAGO 🐮🔪
Patreon / cowchop
Subscribe bit.ly/1RQtfNf
Cow Chop Merch: bit.ly/2dY0HrO
Discuss: bit.ly/1qvrlLD
Click the link to sign up for Rooster Teeth FIRST and use the referral code "COWCHOP" goo.gl/NVZOT8
Twitter: / cowchop
James attempts to subdue the foul chemical compounds of Malört in a series of mixed drinks.
The following is for those multicultural.
No tengo nada gracioso para ustedes, lo siento, demasiado cachondo. Pensando en Marge Simpson.
MALÖRT MIXOLOGY 101
Thank you 🐮🔪

[@Googs_Method]

"im going to mix it in my mouth" *waterboards himself*

[@dingus5285]

Diego Martinez he wants the flavours to *clash*

[@DeineMuddaHatNen]

Thats what i thought xD

[@mathnerd00]

TWICE

[@josefelswick8241]

@@Googs_Method No, god please, no.

[@MrCodo11]

I think youll find he was Malortboarded

[@YeezAE]

*makes faces and gags* “Not bad.”

[@Brodatiouss]

“They don’t do enough destruction on this channel anymore” *literally waterboards themselves with alcohol*

[@SlightlyInactive]

Brody Fairchild not enough accidental destruction anymore. Now everything starts as a bit- but sometimes the reaction isn’t predictable. Like when James died. Rip

[@Googs_Method]

This was the peak till James broke a leg and started caring about his health, he was the star and it wont ever be the same again

[@LeWubWub]

@@Googs_Method wouldve been much more funny if james was there with the offcanny era of cowchop

[@Zheviche]

@@LeWubWub i think offcanny is a little too much for james lmao

[@CoralPolyps]

Sometimes it's hard to tell if a video will get demonetized. This is not one of those times lol

[@TheSpacemanjoe]

Its monetized lol

[@puddlebarf]

most alcohol consumption videos are fine, its other drugs youtube has a problem with

[@em_birch]

@@puddlebarf Well...the whole "cum" thing could be seen as a little risque. XD

[@doot3050]

Still monotized

[@uyuh1201]

👀

[@paragonrex5420]

Waterboarding with Malort.... this is the content I subbed for!

[@GearHead4563]

me too

[@skag1881]

same lol

[@vvvvvv66666]

Me too

[@humanoidweapon6260]

Yeeet

[@Marshall1914]

same here

[@jude7704]

The spongbob music was a great choice.

[@jude7704]

And the Animal Crossing music too.

[@vvvvvv66666]

Grass skirt chase #2 a classic

[@em_birch]

RIP Stephen Hillenburg In a genuine sense, not the meme sense.

[@bkdgbasura]

I absolutely loved it

[@hockey537jt]

Fuck yeah, sb for life

[@Marcsimon1997]

Malort should seriously consider sponsoring CowChop

[@awesomeray100]

yes, sponsor the people that shit on your product for a living

[@MaxwellKasper]

I never considered buying Malort until they introduced me.

[@ExtremelyToxic]

@Faking Miracles I think this is more correct than we know. Never heard of it before. Now morbid curiosity has the best of me

[@elijahlupe]

@@awesomeray100 I know I'm 9 months late, but Malort's proud calling card is that it tastes so goddamn rancid. They have some funny commercials about how terrible it is

[@awesomeray100]

elijahlupe I guess being the worst has it’s benefits

[@Koumoricchi]

If you think about it, James is probably the only person to have ever been waterboarded with Malort

[@SamuelSamuelSamuel]

Guinness World Records is back, baby.

[@Jeffabelle]

Hes also the only person who bought more than 1 bottle of malort

[@lisdmon6538]

spec ops is taking notes

[@asdf852asdf]

I'm glad HowToBasic joined CowChop

[@Thomas-nl8lp]

When I die, fuck it, I wanna go to hell 'Cause I'm a piece of shit, it ain't hard to fuckin' tell It don't make sense, goin' to heaven with the goodie-goodies Dressed in white, I like black Timbs and black hoodies God'll prob'ly have me on some real strict shit No sleepin' all day, no gettin' my dick licked Hangin' with the goodie-goodies, loungin' in paradise Fuck that shit, I wanna tote guns and shoot dice If you know then you know

[@BasicallyIIINobody]

My exact thought

[@Mr.Man18]

@@Thomas-nl8lp what does it have to do with HowToBasic joining cow chop?

[@Zephanyah]

i never thought i would see someone waterboard themselves with malort

[@VaultyTheSalty]

Whoever was behind that camera was absolutely perfect. Good on them for making the video 10x funnier.

[@V1Down]

Probably jakob

[@krakinnuts876]

@@V1Down it was jakob

[@gomukaizoku]

- Do you taste the malort? *sudden illumination* - .... No lmaoo

[@taikasuru2400]

*AAAAAAHH*- is this my Amazon package? -*AAAAAAAHHH*

[@Neala01]

I don't why it was so weird seeing James in that hoodie, but it really was... like, something wasn't right you know.

[@CesarvOx-kg4dt]

It looks like Aleks

[@Franz.]

James in that hoodie AND getting drunk. Alternate universe, yeah

[@darkperil11]

He looks good in it

[@itsyaboy3870]

You know Aleks got mad for this

[@Lerchs]

Malort, the balsamic vinegar 2.0

[@johnathonpineda6186]

Bro I drink blasamic vinegar frfr

[@tempest2k299]

Lerchs I think that’s the key! Fucking balsamic vinegar+Malort

[@DjMheu]

Rice vinegar is worse

[@konigstiger3017]

@@DjMheu white rice vinegar is like drinking sour socks if you dont make it right, smells like shit when you cook it too

[@gyanko8147]

7:42 When you're behind on your mortgage payments to Tom Nook.

[@Uprise641]

that's how mafia wors

[@IriannaCamacho]

But aye yeah!!! Whoever decided to put animal crossing music in the background is a genius

[@Exandria]

@@TeaSquiffy2 this is TOO relatable!

[@RossKMS]

ahahah!!

[@StevenPuleo]

Did James just voluntary waterboard himself

[@jojoxo8657]

They prefer to call it "forceful hydration"

[@oobee123]

Twice mind you

[@lkcullen1918]

During the house-era they all took turns waterboarding each other in the backyard

[@Wertical93]

Fyi so called Malort-boarding has been banned in more than 60 countries. That is not a fact. But it should be.

[@ayeeyovladi]

Side note these spongebob songs are greatly appreciated

[@rickyspanish3210]

and the one animal crossing song

[@ayeeyovladi]

Ricky Spanish Agreed

[@katherinemontgomery1063]

@@rickyspanish3210 I counted 2 :D

[@rattlebonesjones624]

James: what video should I make today Maybe an episode of amazon prime time Jameses mind: I want to be water boarded with malort and gatorade

[@mckaydlha]

James'

[@MrPingn]

They really would benefit from a drain system in the floor. Might make clean up easier if they can just hose the place down.

[@filipnine]

That warehouse was biohazard for far too long lmao

[@cranomsha2033]

Thank you james for your service

[@alexsanagustin4092]

Man, camera guy absolutely BRUTALIZED James.

[@kezeezy]

Jakob

[@mambutuomalley2260]

Never thought I'd see the day James' insanity levels rise above Aleks' and actually make him speechless.

[@jaykobey4112]

RIGHT. Aleks has always been the crazy one but lately the tables have turned

[@Ashes1032]

lmao that first person shooter perspective part was goddamn GOLDEN, mad props you guys

[@ShawnTehBest]

@Moose 4:40

[@Ashes1032]

@Moose 4:34

[@RossKMS]

yeah lolol!!

[@domosrage5434]

And the spongebob music was great too

[@gabriellemancini5008]

So cute that Aleks shares his hoodie with his boyfriend

[@sinisterbigfoot3126]

People who force the Jameks thing are weird, they've stated before in how it makes them uncomfortable 😂

[@acegilliam7696]

While he drinks jizz ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[@ebinecksdee9872]

Aleks probably sprays his cologne all over it so when he's gone, James can smell him all the time

[@Going_Anders]

Aleks is true alpha

[@Skeltoen]

@@ebinecksdee9872 James loves it when he can smell Aleks's colon.

[@KrazyKockatoo]

Whoever has been putting in Animal Crossing music in the recent Cow Chop videos, bless you.

[@TayTayShawayway]

Animal crossing music makes the vibes balance out with the James waterboarding incident

[@Drakeo99]

Whoever the cameraman is I love them for beating the shit out of James with alcohol XD

[@Mike55690]

Oh god starting off 2019 with more Malort, big OOF. Also whoever sent the initial bottle of Malort, thank you, despite their pain it's made for hilarious videos moving forward lol.

[@Magmatic_Agnaktor]

did you taste the malort?

[@yankeepop5091]

apparenyly james himself started loll

[@Mecks089]

They need to send more, they need a pool of it.

[@MistaBean22]

Let's leave oof behind in 2018

[@Jaxconius]

The era of Malort Where half of the viewers hate the videos The other half laugh their brains out when they cry in pain drinking Malort But 100% of the time Anyone drinking the Malort dies inside a little more each day

[@TheOnlyShadowGaming]

Aleks' face at 12:53 is youtube when they see cowchop wanting to monetise this video.

[@bo_unerro]

how did he not break his ankle sooner

[@lookslikemickey3230]

Forever in our hearts, RIP James

[@BexTheBoo388]

Wearing your boyfriend's favorite hoodie 😍💞✨ ~just girly things~

[@God_Of_Wock]

Hilarious.

[@TulluT]

Is James getting tortured a new era in cow chop? I feel guilty enjoying these videos, but at the same time it's really entertaining.

[@xZombiexNation]

Tullu T James redemption arc

[@m.b.kreger9593]

hes atoning for all his past sins

[@SamSam-yf2xj]

It’s about time he got some back

[@MegaDeney]

That full on assault with the water gun lmao

[@CesarvOx-kg4dt]

lmao whoever is the camera man had a lot of anger holding in

[@idkanymoretbh5452]

I mean it’s Jame’s retribution year lmao

[@FnG204]

@@CesarvOx-kg4dt jakob lol

[@ryk3rofficial524]

I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed such a display of masochism.

[@nicfeds]

That’s totally aleks sweatshirt I know the lore

[@Kyung.Sue_Me]

You could say you know the ma"lore"t

[@RyGuy1127]

I don't understand how the channel still hasn't hit 1,000,000

[@EsmeeHulskamp]

Austin Theyre blacklisted for eating tide pods

[@killjoy_5309]

Cuz Trevor left

[@TheOnlyShadowGaming]

I see Malort in the title and see James in the intro, i expect 2+ fatalities this video.

[@fortytwo_]

just one confirmed kill surprisingly

[@Hector11James]

nope, just one brutality

[@NickKrispy69]

You know its about to go down when you hear the opera music

[@karocoopo233]

Am I the only one that loves the way James does his hair?

[@luciusmalfoy8832]

SoggyWeiner right? I love when he puts it into the slicked back ponytail/bun. Looks really good on him.

[@wealthybone2990]

He actually did it, he even said on stream he might do this.

[@franklin7933]

He also said it on the funhaus wrestling podcast

[@Cold_Leftovers]

Why would you willingly ruin your own clothes like that??? Edit: apparently it was Aleks’ hoodie. So we’re all good

[@kingaragornii9940]

Apparently...?

[@danielmarais6216]

Nah man, 2019 is definitely cowchops year, but I am genuinely terrified to see how they keep this pace up

[@Connoe]

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[@danielmarais6216]

Connoe I was right to be terrified, and now I’m sad and it’s still March

[@asdf852asdf]

Big oof

[@nikkic7916]

Rip

[@etrax4150]

Gg

[@BlackTGambit]

Just doing my yearly CowChop watching don’t mind me 2021

[@asdf852asdf]

I know for a FACT that Aleks chugs malort every once in a while when nobody is looking

[@Johanisnotreal]

Real Slav hours right

[@Strummie]

Doubt it. It really doesn’t taste like alcohol. Just sadness.

[@Cyrocel]

Cow Chop. The only workplace where you don't get fired for drinking on the job.

[@KrogerHotdogs]

And lots of start-ups

[@ziomalziom123]

I CAN FEEL YOU BEHIND CAMERA JAKOB

[@worldsgreatestmysteries1766]

I love how James uses shirts he doesn't like as well as Aleks' jacket. 😂

[@HUSTEAD8]

Boys' we are in the golden age.

[@edwardelric4975]

f

[@irysital1358]

f

[@izzy2889]

f

[@HUSTEAD8]

F

[@tally_hal]

f

[@mazzorzor]

I'm excited to see what cow chop era we step into next after the Malort Era

[@StephenMckeighen]

ER Era.

[@Barrelhater]

*next video* We bought a whole truck of malort

[@StephenMckeighen]

*the video after that* "Alcohol Poisoning Inferno - Behind the Cow Chop"

[@idkanymoretbh5452]

*The next video after that* We Sneak Malort into the ER

[@offthewallx537]

“Ew theres a bug in this!” But for content sake he drank it.

[@Cellmate]

12:05 made me legitimately start crying a bit for him. I can't believe actual tears are coming out.

[@pingufetch5]

You know when I got up today I didn't think I'd be watching a video of someone being waterboarded with alcohol accompanied by Animal Crossing and Spongebob music, but here we are.

[@XxUndeadXTacoXx]

Friend sent me the link so a watched this before I even got out of bed. Starting the day off like this I see.

[@MH-fm8fd]

Not even that far into 2019 and Cow Chop has been dishing out quality content. Bless this channel🙏

[@BruhBruh-qf6el]

What James said: waterfall What happened: waterboard

[@lifesearch205]

10:00 Cow Chop, despite all the change, still comes to Aleks and James in front of liquor bottles on camera.

[@xXJavaMongyXx]

*makes CCTV bashing fans who say they need to get drunk in every video* *gets drunk in the next video* THIS IS WHY I LOVE COW CHOP😂😂

[@Forkinthemud]

On the Funhaus Podcast of DudeSoup (which came out before CCTV) James mentions this videos production and is pretty ecstatic about it.

[@em_birch]

To be fair, this was mostly just James torturing himself. XD

[@Jadee95]

Bröther may i have some malört

[@KaRuNaRuGa]

Brøthër, yøü mæ. Stäy åwây frøm mëîn løøps thøügh..

[@h4ppyn00dl3b0y]

> jumps on table > breaks ankle + dislocates shoulder Oh wait... that was a different video involving a sk8board and ramp.

[@rosj1861]

The videos you guys have been posting the past week or so are all so hilarious and make my whole day. I know it's pretty tiring to be wild all the time but it's the crazy stupid shit that doesn't really have any malicious intent that makes me laugh the most. Thanks so much for being cowchop, keep being amazing guys!

[@lburrows7699]

This whole video is a suicide attempt

[@idkanymoretbh5452]

L Burrows A cry for help and yet we laugh instead

[@bigchooch4434]

This is the wrong side of youtube

[@joeyy2baked669]

IdkAnymoreTbh deep

[@TH3G3RM4NGUY]

I love how they sent the Malort to promote their product and it got an awful review. Despite this however they probably got more business and press not only from the Cow Chop memes but also some fans really wanting to know how it taste to get a gauge on their suffering. Probably a net gain for Malort and Cow Chop.

[@BayouAlex111]

James is a real one. Still putting his body on the line for the channel. Thank you James! This is the Cowchop content that I subbed for. I understand why it's been like it is. But seeing the effort and dedication makes me hopeful for this channel. Hope 2019 treats you right Cowchop.

[@00Discourse00]

5:00 Jac/kob my man, top marks, perfect execution, absolutely beautiful, James, brilliant commitment, good job team, I love this video too. Recent like four or five have all been far better than usual, as far as I'm concerned, and I really appreciate the effort you guys are putting into it.

[@xoxdara87]

i'm how james spits on the ground even though there's a sink right behind him

[@PiLuLyArus]

This is torture. I feel sad now. But I can't stop watching. Shit. Sorry James.

[@IYessicaI]

Aleks's face through the video was the best haha

[@hairychesticles1]

i loved the malort era of cow chop. great times for anyone not having to drink it

[@mathgoated2289]

Petition to replace all la croix and Coke Zero in any video with a malort mixture

[@oo-jv3yi]

Malort concentrate*

[@KaRuNaRuGa]

Seconded.

[@Apzx6]

12:41 “iF hE dIeS, hE dIeS”

[@CryptPixel]

I've genuinely enjoyed the content that's being pumped out for this year, especially with their being more energy seeming to be around in this video and the big baby cooking video.

[@TeraVein]

James' battle against the taste of Malort. Recolored 2019. 0:05 2:53 3:57 4:34 6:22 7:41 12:55

[@canismori]

Also James has had more Malort in his eyes than in his mouth.

[@MrChrisb127]

Feels like i just watched a fever dream.

[@skinnermclane4467]

I got my friends Malort for Christmas. You did this Cow Chop. You're continuing to do this.

[@p-bodee507]

I fucked up and had an edible before watching this and got stuck watching 4:30 to 5:07 in repeat for half an hour

[@MegaDeney]

I like how the videos are turning to bullying james, very niccccccce

[@antispaghettigod1201]

2019 the year of retribution 😂

[@SamuelSamuelSamuel]

James ran out of people to bully so the only option was to bully himself.

[@verbalgambit5335]

you cant just upload the best video of 2019 in the first days of 2019...the only thing to top that will be Aleks practicing some KGB torture techniques on James, they both might enjoy it tho lol

[@MrHamza2705]

All jokes aside. The past few days of cowchop episodes are maybe the best stuff ive seen in forever. 2019 is your year guys. Good job

[@jakzembollier652]

james will always be a beauty.

[@mamajuju1753]

2019 - Waterboard yourself for views

[@em_birch]

They already did that anyway. Back at the House.

[@JackdotC]

The camera guy is the funniest person in this episode

[@JonathanLopez-xn7lm]

i think its either Alec or Brett

[@InsaneChaos69]

Jakob I think

[@SrFrozen]

Matt

[@Crimson365]

Christian.

[@Jake-og9lr]

definitely jakob. you can tell by those gangly brown forearms

[@Josh-kx3eb]

Legitimately I have sincerely enjoyed every single second of cowchop in 2019 this has to be their year

[@itsnerdybirdy2363]

This video was just like their Birdbox one, absolutely hilarious, but also hard to watch James going through it I appreciate all you go through for videos like these 👌

[@marmar7730]

Hey I met you guys at the Santa Monica peer it was really fun,I was wearing the blue cookie and black hoodie,I shook your hand and I was pretty nervous it’s was a dream come true ❤️

[@rynosaurusrex1580]

This is what happens when you go on the official podcast

[@EsmeeHulskamp]

Lmao he was so upset he only had one good story he decided to do something about it.

[@SamuelSamuelSamuel]

James is a humble man I guess.

[@danielmarais6216]

Esmee Hulskamp yeah I think he realised how tame they were becoming, especially after talking to people like Charlie and Kaya

[@sushevdhaka8959]

James is trying his best to push this channel up in 2019 Nice effort man keep going

[@jaketurner4720]

This kind of content is what I live for tbh I think this year is gonna be great for y'all

[@JonathanLopez-xn7lm]

*Its in pain* *stops* James: "this that amazon package?" *scream in pain again*

[@eva-eb5nq]

it’s great that they have so much malort even tho no one likes it

[@grizzly505gaming9]

James u are just one of the many reasons im subscribed to this channel

[@hats5864]

Been watching you lads for ages now,but this...you outperformed yourself. Comedy at its finest!

[@jessievargas8]

I appreciate that SpongeBob theme at 4:41 lol

[@MsEmmyrox]

James rubbing his ankle at 0:08 is foreshadowing to his death

[@lobo2051]

Wow. I couldn't do any of the things James had to do in this video. Appreciate the dedication

[@ayeeedrii9983]

these new videos just keep getting better & better

[@pitchmoss]

is this a cry for help ? James buddy u good ?

[@jacquelinedelgado3476]

3:30 got me so weak😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀💀💀💀💀

[@danielfrancis5356]

James...what the hell haha! This was great! Love you Cowchop and all you do and try for us

[@rvinfalls5200]

I laugh so much that I forget to give a like to the vids I watched from you guys