MALIGNANT Narcissists: Everything you need to know (Part 2/3)

[@mnikaluza4]

These people can make you literally “sick” physically and mentally.

[@pegasus5148]

Yuwaste: That is the truth! They will kill you even and feel no remorse. They are demons.

[@reboundingfromnarcissistic5386]

mnikaluza yuwaste I gain so much weight around these people

[@dontbelongherefromanother]

Yelp, just seeing them in passing can evoke fight or flight mode.

[@joaquinv19]

I am going through it now

[@rosecoloredglasses3053]

Yes that is so right!!

[@carriebell3566]

They will also steal all your stuff and when they do give you something is broken! They steal your money, your soul and anything else you have the courage to have!

[@Shwarya-kt3wp]

They tell everyone they want to “help” you or accuse you of stealing from them …so they can exploit you lol.

[@pierrechevalier20]

My ex was covert narcissist,her father was malignant narcissist..chaotic family and im so grateful for getting away from that toxic environment...disgusting people

[@goldilocks3593]

Is there anything worse than a malignant narcissist? Yes, yes there is: a COVERT malignant narcissist. These tend to be the high functioning doctors, lawyers, etc. And their position is their cover for their abhorrent interpersonal behaviour and dysfunctional private lives. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Society needs to stop admiring and worshipping people automatically based on their facade, since we never really know what lies beneath.

[@woody10198]

Mm sounds like my Dad. Highly respected doctor but had a horrific temper at home. Beat me over the smallest offences when I was younger

[@emmanewton1482]

I think what’s worse is antisocial personality disorder

[@GoogleIsAPieceOfShit2023]

Goldilocks You’re describing my mother. She can keep her money, I walked away 3 years ago; no contact 😊

[@veronicaglouster1713]

Just recovering...i thought something was wrong with me..then i found KZbin..it now makes sense

[@fosteringleaders9872]

Try the dark triad the Dr. has described with Narcissism, psychopathy and Machiavellism. She accurately described my father, cool and calm, charming handsome when younger brilliant Doctor wooing people at first, then becoming a total nightmare abusing his parents, my mom, me, my brother and sister, all his girlfriends, some neighbors and the list is long. Has slept at jail but charms his way out of the charges later. Steals, cheats, manipulates, uses people, a movie can be made. O wait, it's called Sleeping with the enemy.

[@infinitetundra]

The Malignant Covert is a Hell I wouldn’t wish for my worst enemy.

[@karim-a7469]

Trying to divorce mine now.

[@jenniferdanilowicz8785]

Yes!

[@francoisgouws7288]

Nobody knows until they have been there!

[@yanamicheala3800]

The eyes look painted on

[@Erik7prc]

N O C O N T A C T ! ! Stay super strong and don't reach out to them! EVER! Don't fall for the indirect hoover by proxy. You already know the drill. Love bomb, devaluation, discard, hoover, and repeat. Don't be hard headed! You're worth more than breadcrumbs and deserve a person who is present and ready to put in real work into a real relationship! Don't be impatient.

[@Erik7prc]

@@niti470 I would go no contact and avoid any kind of hoover. Grey rock is the next best thing. If you feel threatened you need to go a step above.

[@Erik7prc]

@@niti470 you live with him?

[@dianecfranich]

Really good advice 👌

[@belindabotes6569]

I needed to read this.

[@sinjinmonsoon9055]

Im no contact for a year and im still traumatized. But no contact does work.

[@Gratitudejoy21]

My dad is malignant narcissist, sexual abuse, superviolent, always menacing, my mother is a communal narcissist and left me hanging each time and my ex-partner was a psychopath.... I have survived🙏

[@shannonjones4895]

I have learned more from you than any other person in my entire life. I love your brilliant work! Thank you...

[@Buster-im5so]

Me too- And I've talked to several counselors since my teenage years. She's brought me from the brink of giving up.

[@norag3880]

Ditto

[@Truesoulsash]

Same. Strangely enough I have come to understand that this is my father by watching Trump. It's disgusting how sick that man is. I knew I needed to look into this further. My entire life has been a nightmare. 43 years old. Just can't succeed. I feel like I'm finished.

[@rachelsimbhu4383]

Dr. Ramani ur very empowering & highly informative !! Love u very much !!

[@carolnahigian9518]

Brother used to call me (wow,coincidence) to quell rumors, GUESS WHAT-he was SOURCE OF every. Single.RUMOR. Every ugly one= KRN.

[@KellyOShea6366]

I witnessed 3 childlike fits, actually acting like a child in front of me. A grown 48 year old man. That combined with physical intimidation, well I'm divorcing, and moving. Listen to this woman, read her books, do the work. Thank you... ❤️☘️

[@brittanyg2529]

Ya mine was 40. I only dated him for 6 months when I left

[@GoogleIsAPieceOfShit2023]

Kelly O I noticed it in a 62 year old man. So pathetic!

[@KellyOShea6366]

I'm one month or less from moving. I'm packed. Almost there. Moving back to my own family, REAL and normal loving family. Good luck to those of you who feel stuck. You can do it. ❤️☘️

[@quibquiberton4184]

My 86 year old grandfather.

[@Tara-id3rk]

Our 4 year old will regulate his dad for him. 41 year old man who acts way more emotionally immature than my toddlers.

[@peterpan872]

Watching this is giving me a panic attack.. "All being a good person gets you is taken advantage of"

[@peterpan872]

My dad was a a police officer under an elite detective unit.

[@peterpan872]

Thank you for these videos. Can't wait for the next one

[@deanmoulton8994]

Stay true to yourself, and keep walking into the wind.

[@lorettanericcio-bohlman567]

Dean, I like your comment. After getting out it becomes a nice breeze.

[@Sanwich54321]

Dean Moulton U make a lot of sense the new fresh air smells and feels so good when it arrives and circulates around U. The old air was stale and stagnant it was so thick with chaos it could be cut with scissors.

[@cristinamariadegesu5134]

100% my mother. I was always afraid of what her reaction would be, even into adulthood. Pure evil.

[@0505nancy1]

I choose no contact, so far good. Five years of no contact 🙏🏾

[@toniburns8059]

My mom too!

[@suzyb5245]

My mother too. I've not had a relationship with her in years! These videos are spot on. To have a mother like this is the worst. Pure evil.

[@sharr630]

You and me both. I now have zero contact and will for the rest of my life.

[@RegisteredNurse926]

Same.

[@katherinefenrickson3492]

I was married to a malignant narcissist. My life was a nightmare. He stole my life from me. I will never be the way I used to be anymore.

[@SabinaStachowicz]

This is so true. Experiencing the same now. Im feeling like - even though Im finally able to pull away, I will sadly never be the same again...

[@naturalist369]

I understand how you feel, me too, but you must say you will be become better than before ❤❤❤ Hugs, Much Love and Light to you for your recovery transformational journey 🔥💜🔥🙏🏼🎶😇🌈🕊💫

[@leewells2450]

I am going through a divorce with a malignant covert narcissist wife. They are so evil and cruel, pretending to be loving, caring people, but they are not at all. Keep exposing these people because they destroy their own families, spouses, children with the damage that they do to truly loving, caring, genuine people.

[@christinefilas9392]

They chew you up and spit you out.

[@nv_chino]

Power to you

[@reboundingfromnarcissistic5386]

Why does it feel like society protects narcissists? I’m sure people knew I was being abuse but they treated me as if it was my fought

[@powerfit111]

They refuse to believe that someone who has been so great to THEM or around THEM can also be a horrific monster to someone else. It's their cognitive dissonance that makes them take the side of the Narc, even when they see the bruises! The same thing happened to me. SO many people looked the other way. Then when I got out they wanted to "talk about what happened". Nope, way too late. These people need to get cut off too IMO.

[@bobleece4152]

Are you a guy?

[@Feinrizulwur]

The society is indeed the narcissistic. Do you need more proofs?

[@pegasus5148]

@@powerfit111 Glad you are a survivor! I went no contact with both my covert narc parents. Life saving decision! My dad is trying to Hoover me and it won't work because I'm educated now.

[@nunyabidness4946]

That is because it's not a "personality disorder "it's demon possession. The public is mostly toxic flying monkeys or worse. They hide in the shadows with their narc daddy(satan) and enjoy sin and sadisticly abusing folks, especially decent people. They killed Jesus because his light exposed their darkness. Here is a good example of a "personality disordered" individual. If this clicks with you, message me back. I have tons of information for those with ears that hear and eyes that see. www.goodfight.org/articles/music/beyonce-speaks-unimaginable-bible/ counterculturemom.com/beyonce-says-shes-demon-possessed-i-agree/

[@Shinningstar3678]

I know no one will probably believe me, but he tried to poison me when I was expecting. It actually happened, I’m not crazy, thank GOD I got away unharmed/safe and me and my child both made it and is now healthier than ever.

[@miriammatthews2202]

This is exactly what happened to me. I lost everything. But God is building a new life for me.

[@esthercohn5732]

What did you loose? I'm interested in comparing what we've been through. My ex remarried,

[@miriamwells35]

This video really rings true for me too. I am not sure whether I am the malignant narcissist though! The family patterns she describes were definitely there on my mum's side.

[@tmfo125]

@@esthercohn5732 I lost my nonprofit organization, job, college education when she pulled me out without my permission, my reputation when she said I was abusive, my family when she said the same thing to them. She would call my master chief when I was in the navy. she would show up at the prison or call repeatedly while I was at work. People left me because she was toxic.

[@tmfo125]

almost forgot. she convinced my divorce lawyer to turn on me so he 'forgot' to file paperwork on my house after the divorce, so she started calling the mortgage company cancelling payments and would then call me to ask if was going to pay the house payment. our divorce said if i miss 3 payments, she can take the house. I have a brain injury so she was gaslighting me by doing this. I eventually got a hold of the transcripts from my mortgage company to prove what she was doing.

[@dhanyaslifeventure]

Once you know who they are,don't ever look back on them.They would definitely wanna see if you could be alive and happy without them,do that.They will be half dead.

[@MomDroogs]

Yep! Malignant narcissist defines my 89 year old mother. My dad beat my mom, and my mom beat me along with many other HEINOUS forms of abuse against me, her scapegoat daughter. My sister was the golden child. 63 maddening years of dealing with this toxic mother and her mental illness. She will not die, she will not leave my sister and I alone sending in many flying monkeys on her behalf despite both of us have been no contact. After many years of triangulation my sister and I have reconnected. We both suffer from PTSD, sever anxiety, multiple physical ailments from the abuse, and sleeplessness. Will be tuning in for Part 3. What now? After all mother is “old, sick, and all alone”. “Why are you abandoning your mother?” Triangulation attempts with our children, her grandchildren, and cousins, friends, her minister, etc. and the list of flying monkeys is unending.

[@naturalist369]

So sorry, sending you lots of LOVE, LIGHT and big hugs. I'm glad your sister sees it now and reconnected. My mom is similar though not as bad as yours, however my sister thinks I'm the bad one. I had to go no contact with my whole family as I am the scapegoat. Stay strong and no contact. Its not your fault and you dont owe her anything ❤️💜❤️🙏🏼😇🕊💫

[@christiec3127]

I knew a couple malignant narcissists. I never really could understand why one minute they can be charming and the next be so abusive. They are out of my lives of my children we'll never know them.

[@nelumbonucifera148]

I attributed the psychotic mood swings of my Narc to his alcoholism. Little did I know that it’s something more sinister. Looking back, I recall dreading his smile more than his rage because it was laced with vindictiveness and contained hidden threats.

[@pisces_chick2511]

I attributed it to his raging alcoholism also, & the wrong diagnosis of bipolar. He didnt tell the psychiatrist he was abusive, violent and cruel. This divorce has almost been worse than the marriage.

[@lakendramontgomery5826]

OMG sounds like we married the same person. Yikes!

[@nelumbonucifera148]

Erica Thornberry, I’m in the midst of divorce negotiations and it’s been 3 years of back and forth nightmare. He’s deliberately delaying it just to prolong his sick games. I don’t even know how his Lawyers are putting up with him and his constant shifting of goal posts in his demands!

[@nelumbonucifera148]

LaKendra Montgomery, looks like these soulless clones are everywhere!

[@pisces_chick2511]

@@nelumbonucifera148 I believe every word you say, so far, ours has went on for 6 months. It still baffles me who this man is? I don't know this demon. The utter lies he has told his lawyers is astounding. All of mine & our daughters things are still in the marital home. He refuses to give them back, let alone the half of the house & assets I rightfully get. Good luck to you.

[@powerfit111]

Once again, you hit the nail on the head! My MN came from abusive/alcoholic parents. He often said he hoped they were rotting in HELL. I should've seen that red flag and ran. He would bring up his abusive background to make excuses and explain why he was so horrible at times to the people around him. He could be incredibly cruel and vindictive. He would feel bad but try to explain it away and ultimately come back to HIM being a victim. Seven years of this and prior abusive relationships left me with C-PTSD. I've been blessed enough to find very good counselors to help me heal. If you're dealing with this type of person or any abusive person PLEASE get out. If you can't do it right now, form a plan and activate it when you can. Keep a list of domestic violence safe houses hotlines and addresses where you can get them...HIDE them or code them if you need to. Please be safe!

[@Buster-im5so]

I a plan to get out of a tragically neglectful relationship.

[@STEPHANIEENAJE]

What is CTPSD?

[@powerfit111]

@@STEPHANIEENAJE complex post-traumatic stress disorder

[@tracydanneo]

Experienced this at work. Amazing how willing the Flying Monkeys are to flank their narc.

[@msnawrecka9786]

You explain this stuff more concisely and understandably than anyone else.

[@carlathedestructor2454]

My malignant narc ex told me a story once of when he was little, maybe five years old. He and his family were up before daybreak getting ready for a trip to an amusement park having breakfast. My ex didn't like eggs but his dad decided to force him to eat them, saying nobody was going anywhere until he ate them. His sisters raised hell at the kid, his mom begged him to eat them, his dad threatened him. Apparently they sat there until nightfall until the eggs turned green, left uneaten. Nobody went anywhere. Dad cancelled the trip. And what's worse, the whole family blamed the boy for missing the trip, not the dad. (His sisters confirmed the story.) That's just one example of a thousand incidents that led to my ex to become the monster he is today.

[@amyjkr]

Yet, his inherent personality was so rigid as a child that he was willing to lose a fun day just to stand his ground. Sorry, but that’s a sign in itself. My almost-ex gave me every sob story in the book about what his dad did to his mom, what a stranger did to him at 6, about how he had carried the whole family when his dad went to prison. I’m not sure any of it is true. After all, he’s told people I abandoned my kids, I’m a drug addict, I’m a cheater, and every other thing he could think of to smear my good name. By the end, after he held me down in the bed and told me he wouldn’t have a wife he couldn’t fuck, I began to have a more flippant attitude about his struggle. I stopped fucking him because he was fucking anything that walked on two legs. Yet, I am the asshole. I’m not particularly proud of it, but at the end o told him he deserved every fucking thing that was done to him, because he was too much a bitch to deal with it and not spread it on to me and our kids. They’ll whine about a thing that happened to them 40 years ago, and then turn around and dish out the same. It’s retroactive Karma. If you don’t at least try to prevent your own children from the pain you went through, then you deserved it. Sorry that seems harsh. But it’s true. Nothing happened to him that didn’t to me. Yet, I didn’t dish it out to relieve myself. That’s a narc. Who cares what they suffered before. People suffer.

[@ranglumoje5649]

No excuses tho, as adults we can choose who we want to be. Many have experienced traumatic childhoods, many also have became decent people. No compassion for idiots.

[@susie1111]

This was my mother. Now after two spouses with NPD I am dealing with severe CPTSD and fibromyalgia.

[@Biracialbaddie]

Thank you for helping us survive in this extermly narcissistic society!

[@digitalHistorian]

This is my stepfather. I was (at 12) the scapegoat from day 1. Over 30 years later and I am only now starting to really understand how deeply it all effected me. Constant fear, humiliation, and shame.

[@coolestsuperhero8935]

If a malignant tells you he will leave you in a few years, this means discard is months away. If they tell you they're going to leave you in a few months then discard is days away. They'll do future faking and then leave suddenly (at their own convenience)

[@nightmaresobscuriteas4206]

Absolutely spot on. I thought I was the only one subjected to "future faking". Excellent term for it.

[@jizmm813]

Yep! So true ! That's my ex malignant narc did to me after she convinced me that I had the problems of trust issues and jealousy and if I didn't fix it our relationship was going to be over but she still discarded me and when I fix myself she didn't want to get back together after we broke up and fix myself to make things better but she discarded me after that basically before that. She went back to her old supply exes and still wanted to have me and then. I wasn't going for that shit. So she hoovers every few weeks. Yesterday i reached out and told her Merry Christmas through text and she was acting really really nice towards me "hey baby" this and that ave telling me she been thinking about me and all the extra nice stuff. So when I called her I find out she tells me that "i can't be calling or texting her because she has a boyfriend".....but i seen on social media that she sound like she was going to go back to one of her exes that she had history with so she's going back to a old supply. I broke up with her September 28....almost three months later now and She has a boyfriend ! Fuckin narcissist move on fast. One man will never be enough for her. She was still texting me though....just a week before Christmas.... this narcissism stuff is crazy !

[@expandhealthinc.1887]

Yes!

[@gala2103]

True! But I was faster 😆🤪

[@KD-gd5oq]

Mine has been threatening this so often and for so long, I'm at the point where I feel like saying "OK, you first."

[@abundance3696]

This sounds like an Freddie movie & what’s even scarier they are mostly at the TOP of every company 😳😳😳😳

[@reboundingfromnarcissistic5386]

Level Up Mind, Body & Beauty Channel you ain’t lying

[@The2FO]

It's even more pronounced in 3rd world countries. My former boss was a Senator. He later on became a state governor. He's pure evil

[@sweetwaterfilm]

i am so exhausted dealing with these unconscious subhumans

[@anne-louisegoldie]

Sounds familiar. I think I was raised by a malignant narcissist who was probably also a psychopath. He isn't the only one I've encountered. Unfortunately therapists, doctors, friends etc., who don't really know what this is like won't be able to understand how much damage these people do. These are just characters in books and films, not in real life. " We're all a bit narcissistic.", isn't at all helpful to be told. Thank you so much for raising awareness that these people do exist 😊xx

[@maryannfoster5999]

After 35 plus years of therapy, your series has taken my mental health to a much better place and enlightened me on so many levels!! My oldest brother is definitely a malignant, sadist and cunning narcissist who loved to torture his many siblings. Sneak attacks, especially in the middle of the night, were common. We would wake up screaming after being choked or smothered, then my mentally ill parents would punish us for screaming. needless to say, it ruined my childhood. The worst was watching him torture my baby brother, who became severely mentally ill and died under suspicious circumstances. I walked away from this sick family at age 20 and got slowly lured back in, but now, 43 years later, I am free again. Thank you for your clear and grounded lectures!!!!!!

[@liljerseygirl249]

It breaks my heart that any parent/parents could treat their child so horribly to result in this type of psychological damage. There are so many of these individuals walking around undiagnosed and likely will never be diagnosed. What a shame, they will eventually die a prisoner of their own mind, never really knowing real love in their life. The only thing the rest of us can do is protect ourselves. I wish I had learned about this disorder years ago, it could have saved me a lot of pain.

[@nadiyac844]

It's so weird so discover your parents weren't "strict" or "mean", they just had malignant personality disorder.

[@jacobs3633]

@@nadiyac844 yes! I hate when people say your mother was just strict and it’s like no it was emotionally exhausting to live there with the gas lighting, control, meanness and just threats and mind games she would use.

[@NutsNBerries]

Me too

[@whyohwhy9679]

Yes, me too. If I had been familiar with love bombing years ago maybe I wouldn't have fallen for it.

[@walterthomas9869]

When you grow up in it; especially middle class or better, it's so confusing because outsiders are jealous and think you have everything so there's no one to talk to and ask if it's normal. As you grow up and unravel , the flying monkeys are sicked on you like guard dogs. You feel constant guilt for trying to improve your own life.

[@robeson1231]

You've just described my sister to perfection. Scarily accurate.

[@lucylirosi8746]

I also think my sister is malignant narcissist.

[@nickiehines5319]

I as well have a malignant nark sister

[@pearlseeker5836]

And mine!!!

[@donnajoseph-barford1076]

Mine too. She was spoiled by my mom. My dad tried to discipline her with no avail.

[@ladyc3544]

Mine too

Thank u Dr. Ramani for the granular identifications. While most of us have experienced garden variety narcissists the classification you've described as dark triangle and the next level of psychopathy is a trainwreck which takes a long transformation to recover from. I feel there are 2 challenges. The 1st; getting back to zero, recovering from trauma. The 2nd, restructuring your responses to insure a new norm of peaceful functioning. This is an unpleasant but necessary journey. Being prey to this level of destruction is no coincidence. We need to learn and unlearn habits, beliefs, etc. How rebuilding works is individual but any skills we can benefit from is appreciated!

[@lalacrp4472]

Thank you Dr Ramani, uploading everyday giving us consistent and accurate information and helping out the victims of narcissistic abuse , since watching your videos from medcircle and then on your own channel, i’ve gotten myself out of out an abusive relationship with a narcissist and it’s all down to being educated

[@erinkayeozga9947]

Education is Key 👍🏻

[@jacobs3633]

My mother always said “well you have no control in this matter” with a smirk she was always so happy to say that to me and my sister

[@antoinette8519]

My mother was a violent malignant covert narc who beat me almost daily. When she was not beating me up physically and/or emotionally she gave express permission to my violent malignant covert narc fraternal twin sister to beat me me up physically and emotionally. I lived in fear of those two every day. It's no wonder that I later married two malignant covert narcs. Thankfully I divorced my mother and sister and also each of my malignant narc husbands. I am still trying to heal from their narc abuse. I still suffer from anxiety and depression. Dr. Ramani thank you for helping me to heal. I use your excellent videos in conjunction with therapy.

[@mnop1774]

The Malignant Narcissist videos brought it all together for me. He's a textbook version complete with domestic violence and criminal confinement on his record which he managed to get expunged. I learned this from his ex wife. I escaped with only one object thrown at me but it was only a matter of time. NO CONTACT WORKS. Grateful for this series and for Dr Ramani's work.

[@aletablakely7605]

One of the things about the constant mental torture and "I will get even" playbook of these people is that when a person is so sabotaged and discounted and gas lighted year after year after year the person starts doing it for the narcissist as if they should have EVERYTHING they do destroyed. The frustration and rage and complete exhaustion is incomprehensible.

[@emantabet7604]

THIS is what I've been living with.. A chess game that feels like I'm 10 steps behind every single time. A record kept for every breath I take that WILL be used against me, twisting the truths and the pettiest of things that no one even remembers, presenting them against me as facts to their advantage, leaving everyone believing their righteous and great, leading me to doubt why am I the only person seeing the very dark, violent, abusive side?! maybe I'm at fault? maybe the bruises on my body are my own doing? maybe everyone else sees the truth and I'm too blind to see it.

[@AdrianneMachina]

They really hide it to other people. Don’t worry about what other people think. You know the truth. Get out.

[@AdrianneMachina]

I have to add, after I left, he got 10X worse with the girlfriend after me. He still stalks her sometimes. So scary.

[@powerfit111]

I am SO very sorry. YOU are not at fault. Don't let those lies get into your mind. Seek help and get away from this person as soon as you possibly can. Please be safe.

[@GeorgideMarne]

I lived the same thing when I was very little, no one saw what happened. The solution: inforce boundaries, develop your own internal ressources, stay true to your feelings and perceptions ! I wish you all the best, you WILL survive and thrive ! 🙂

[@emantabet7604]

​@@powerfit111 Thank you

[@thisgirlslife3002]

Thank you so much for your discernment and helping us break down these complicated individuals. Menacing is the perfect description.

[@BA-ef4pr]

Thank you for helping me to identify that this type of narc was my former employer. I knew they were crazy but its good to put a label on them. My immediate management played all the malignant narc games and nearly drive me to literal death as i questioned my own mortality. This is how toxic these bastards are.

[@tulayamalavenapi4028]

What good is a label?

[@austriahaitilaos6879]

I keep binge-watching your videos, in Poland they appear around 8 p.m. and I fund myself actually finishing my job and going straight to your channel. Your work provided me with so much help, support and insight not only in my surrouding...but myself too. Thank you dr. Ramani for the gift of knowledge and support, please keep doing this great work.

[@sarahjohnson8514]

The one I used to know (I went NC) made me feel incredibly tired and drained after not spending much time with him. If people literally make you nap, remove them from your life. Unfortunately I had to deal with one from work over the phone today. Fortunately, I kept my phone on mute and barely responded. It’s no wonder the call was over an hour. They are starving during the pandemic. It’s sooooo important to document and record things with these types as evidence. Karma will not skip over these meat suits. That’s enough closure for me. Be well survivors!

[@eleanormaraal5402]

My dad fits all of this except for the anger. I feel like he has a great amount of rage inside him, but instead of doing a typical anger outburst he keeps it hidden. Even when hitting me or my sister he remained perfectly calm, almost cheerful. I still think he is a malignant narcissist because he is so cruel and power hungry. It's been over 2 years since social services got involved and I've finally managed to stop living with him a few months ago. He's giving me the silent treatment and I he thinks I will eventually go back to him. Well he spent my whole life training me to be scared of him so there's no way I'm going near him again.

[@einalemainesra]

sounds like a psychopath. I’m so sorry you had to grow up around that.

[@clairejones624]

That sounds terrible. I’m sorry. I think he’s a psychopath, not a malignant narcissist.

[@donnajoseph-barford1076]

I'm so glad you done the series of the different types of Narcissist. I have learned so much. Thank you.

[@Jessica-ts7uj]

When they go silent, you should hide. Trying to talk or reason with them is impossible. It doesn't matter what you say good or bad. They don't hear you. You can say the worst things to them and it doesn't trigger them more because they are always triggered.

[@craig3714]

My sister is always yelling at me I can't even talk to her without her screaming & yelling at me and calling me names . My father used to do the same to my mom yell & scream at her and call her names .

[@FrancesShear]

Doctor Ramani your videos are being done in a way that leaves little doubt about how genuine your intentions are about wanting to help others for real instead of only getting more sign up tuition fees or whatever else might go along with that. I hope you along with other professionals trying to educate too do get compensation for your valuable time so that you can enjoy richer family life rewards too.

[@AchievingIndifference]

My mother is a covert narcissist...my sister is a malignant narcissist. I grew up being scapegoated, gaslighted, and triagulated. I have learned through experience no contact, no communication is the only way. I have to be the one to suffer for no contact, because they are entitled to be everywhere. These videos make me realize I'm better off... they are so validating to me. Much appreciated. I feel so sorry for all the children that have to endure them.. that I had to leave behind

[@jennh.9325]

Exactly! Domestic abuse victims are experiencing both physical & emotional abuse.

[@ahc1957]

I feel for the cashiers and salespeople with these people. They just enjoy the confrontation even if it makes no sense. Wow, chronic anger, and for no reason. Same amount of anger for minor mishaps as for a serious issue. Dropping his cigarette brings out the same amount of anger as if he were attacked by an enemy. Nothing is ever "no big deal".

[@chernagast6754]

I stopped cashiering because of things like this (along with narcs in control of the company).

[@greenroses4950]

My ex once tried to get a cashier fired because he claimed the guy tried to touch me. I don't even think the guy even looked at me or even acknowledged I was there. He was just going back to his job. He just happened to be a color my ex hated. He was livid because I wasn't upset about it, he then accused me of knowing the guy and having sex with him...It was crazy making at it's best.

[@artsydoll888]

My oldest sister is a malignant narcissist I feel bad bc she was the oldest and something VERY Traumatic happened to her. Smh. It's very sad... but I stay away from her bc she's evil!

[@LucyLocketful]

It's such a relief to hear in depth about it. Three years ago I'd gone to the doctor and broken down, saying I'd been for nearly 7 years with a narcissist, and I had a feeling I had PTSD (incredibly jumpy and tearful, and my body was in a perpetual tremor for over a year - I lost three-quarters of a stone, and I'd been only 7.75 stone to begin with). They didn't really know what I was talking about. I'm not sure even many therapists in the UK would know. Thank you for putting it all so clearly and with great understanding and kindness. It reassures me that I hadn't been going mad - though I felt very much on the edge of doing so at the time.

[@amieanderson9827]

I think it's only now and at the bare minimum being recognised in medical terms in the UK.

[@MrsRad-dt2ok]

My Malignant Narcissist wasn’t a direct person. I knew what he was trying to do to me. They are awkward and their behavior is absolutely disturbing. Especially when you learn and you start to observe them and not absorb them. It was a feeling of feeling like you’re being hunted. You know they have a problem but yet instead of them saying it they like to make you feel extremely uncomfortable. I didn’t feel safe and my safety comes first. He tried to project everything on me with his psycho behavior. I laughed and said “ok are you done? I see you don’t want to be around me anymore? Then he tried to say no that’s not true. Lol after dealing with his obscene psycho behavior for over a month I couldn’t help but laugh. I literally was watching him loose his mind because I wasn’t letting him break me. I knew he had a problem but yet I would show up to lunch and smile and say things like “ Oh today is soooo beautiful out , I just left the hair salon and I’m feeling great!!” You should’ve seen his face it was like he wanted to choke me 😂😂😂. I didn’t even do anything to him. He wanted to argue with me but I didn’t bother I just said ok bye. Never looked back. Never called never texted him. Almost 4 months Narc free and I am sooooooooooo happy

[@gingergirl8797]

Mine wou!d not let me go Every time I tried to get away he would hunt me down and of course the abuse got worse. He wou!d say "...no one will Ever leave me..". Depression , anxiety and chronic fear have made my life really difficult. He was a serial cheater and abuser, mental, verbal abuser, etc. This list makes me wonder how and why I survived.

[@bellahnemetona5924]

Can't thank you enough for those series! This is so easy to understand and find logic in to it. Thank you 💚

[@elipotter369]

I have had a couple of exes be very quick to accuse me of being "vindictive" - which stuck in my mind because I am totally not! I might have been a lot of imperfect behaviours, but it was all out a total projection or how they themselves were. There was no point in arguing with them, they just bulldozed me with expressing their vicious opinions and I was verbally and emotionally overridden. Way to get me out of their lives - who wants to put up with that kind of bizarre character assassination?

[@jamiemurphy1173]

Same Here!! He’s even go as far as saying HE WAS THE ONE who was constantly walking on eggshells, which I always kept stuck in my mind paying closer attention to how I acted including the words I would say cuz I did believe maybe I am the issue in our relationship I knew something wasn’t right between us just couldn’t figure out EXACTLY what!! After learning about Narcissistic People I started to pay VERY close attention to him and I noticed that EVERY SINGLE TIME he would say he was the one having to walk on eggshells around me was when he would get me rattled up and upset, to the point of being ashamed of myself for lashing out!! It was totally then, that I realized he only says that when HE KNOWS how upset and embarrassed I get about lashing out and I would indeed believe I was the problem since in that moment of cRaZyNeSs I WOULD truly believe it!! Sometimes I cry for myself when I was blind to all of the toxic people in my life and what I put up with but thankfully am beginning to constantly remind myself it wasn’t my fault and never was!!

[@michellehoward5318]

I was driven to overdose trying to escape the emotional torture. In that state of mind I couldn't even see what he had done to me. We've been apart 2 1/2 months. Although I feel hopeful for the future without his imposition of arbitrary "rules" and consequences for perceived violations. But I finally get it that I will never really know (bc he would hold that info hostage just like everything else I needed from him) if he conspires to inflict pain with a systematic checklist or if this is the natural sequence of behaviors (subconsciously) delivered to exact a response that supplies his bottomless hole of need through infliction of pain. And I just don't care what the answer is anymore. My answer is to stay as far from him as possible for the rest of my life.

[@genevalawrence801]

Wow. Thank you, Dr. Ramani. My ex is a malignant narcissist, and these videos provide clarity.

[@lsunstein]

My father was a malignant narc. I was always afraid. My brother took on the role of abuse. I grew up with such PTSD. So much anxiety. You have hit it on the head. I am so much better.

[@margaritaescobedo841]

I'm learning how to stay safe from these people. Even if I meet someone new. Be it a new family, or new relationship. You're saving us all that are watching and learning. Love all your videos. I'll definitely keep watching. 💖

[@robertgates2769]

Is there such a thing as a hybrid narcissist? So far she has fit exactly into both series you put out. She played the pity card all the time lining up with covert definition but the vindictiveness she had to punish people is off the chart as stated here. She truly scared me with the rage she had. It is sad to think someone like that has no idea the debris field they leave behind in their wake.

[@bellarose6501]

That was my question. Can they be a mix of a few different narcissists? I never new which one he would be from day to day. Confusing and scary. The rage was off the charts.

[@libbyrosewellnesschannel3398]

Dr Ramani, you and Lisa A Romano are my favorite teachers on codependency & narcissistic abuse. I love Ross Rosenbergs term Self Love Deficit Disorder in terms of codependency. It's so true, waking up to who we are & seeing how we have been manipulated by people, parents, friends, & other relationships. I came from sexual abuse, domestic violence, & only realizing the last few years how much verbal abuse & manipulation I experienced growing up. Just realizing how codependent I was & many narcissistic traits myself. My children are almost all grown now & I am reteaching them with help from people like you. It's wonderful waking up & beginning to break the cycle. Thank you ❤️ 👼🙏🌈

[@lorettanericcio-bohlman567]

Hallelujah and congratulations. You my friend should be given the Nobel Peace Award

[@daisylavender5275]

Narcs are the worst!🤬

[@lorettanericcio-bohlman567]

I’m learning that narcissists pick their target. One sister has picked the other to abuse but not me so I wanted them to go to therapy to work through things. Every situation is different and should be respected as well as different stages of awareness.

[@Natybsg]

She really nailed it 😱😨 the comparison to a bully is perfect. They try to control through fear. And yes, SO vindictive! I always felt like I was constantly being punished for something I didn't do. Fear and tension all the time. And thanks for telling the difference between a malignant narcissist and a psychopath, that's really hard to know.

[@my.dailymotivations]

Thank you Dr. Ramani for all your amazing videos. I have a close friend who is a malignant narcissist. I always new something fundamental was 'off ' with him but I could never really figure out exactly what was behind it. After someone called him a narcissist, I decided to do some research and I found your videos on KZbin. He displays every trait and characteristic that you describe. Now I really understand what drives and motivates his behaviour. Thank you so much for your amazing work. Its helped me to understand all the gasslighting, devaluing, degradation and other forms of abuse that have confused me and made me feel less of a person. I now know that I'm not to blame. Keep up the amazing work.

[@Lynkoto.]

i knew he had problems but when you said "psychopaths are very resistant to stress and anxiety, their coldness under conditions that would unsettle most of us, is a hallmark quality of psychopathy".. it opened another door. Thank you for sharing all of this. Your content is extremely helpful.

[@glitch84-]

I loved that he was so cool and unaffected under stress. I wanted to be like him. Lmao at me

[@mayachill1285]

yes this is my father 100 percent. he once told my mother to pick between me and him and he told me he would rather go broke then to give me a penny (he was throwing me out of the house for the 3rd time at thag piont knowing i had no money and nowhere to go ) he beat my mother down so badly emotionally over the years she ended up choosing him.

[@nadiyac844]

Thanks for being brave enough to share your story and I'm so sorry you had to got through that. You didn't deserve that.

[@delia8392]

I had a similar experience between my father and mother. The most painful part was not beeing able to help the victim (my mother) who stays in the situation because it is emotionally so wracked. And not seeing that she could simply leave the situation but insisting that it is not ok to leave because of stupid reasons.

[@Sorryscene]

All monsters are human.

[@joelomot2795]

My 50 y/o brother (TN) is a Malignant Narcissist & is doing his utmost to perpetually manipulate my 96 y/o Dad (NY) in order to procure full control of our Family Estate .. Very stressful but holding strong as a result of your impactful video sessions!!! .. Thank you so much Dr. Ramani for all of this invaluable insight!!! .. :-(

[@mamfa81]

Thank you Dr Ramani! This describes my now ex to a tee. 6 months out and about to start court over custody, so thankful I have a lawyer who is aware of his patterns and is doing everything to protect me and the kids

[@madisonl4318]

My mom is an alcoholic malignant narcissist, and abused me through my entire child hood mentally physically emotionally. Watching these videos is making me feel so much better. Now that I know exactly what this is, I’ve always called her “demonic” and “psychotic” and people would just never understand what i was going through. I’m 20 years old now and she still emotionally and Verbally abuses me through the phone!! Hopefully watching these will help me navigate her being in my life

[@0505nancy1]

Until these day, I ask my self what happened to mom childhood. That she mistreated all of us, but I got must the blame of all. She hit me with all her power, even hit me on the bathroom. Once she almost strangled me. I don’t know how to explain her behavior at all. Some times she used to have swings mood.

[@oliverhill113]

Thank you so much Dr Ramani for sharing your very helpful knowledge on the subject of Narcissism. You are like a gifted artist who paints with words to describe all these personalty types and produce a clearly recognisable image, albeit the image of a damaged person.

[@Pittsa86]

You’ve just described the story of my life.

[@shubhrakhare]

Dr Ramani, I was in a relationship with a malignant narcissist. I cannot describe the hell I have gone through. Even after a year, I am confused and totally scared and hurt. Still making sense of what happened, how my life changed from love bombing to devaluation and discard. Not sure whether I will ever feel happiness and trust, but life is going on.

[@mn-kt6em]

I’ve gone no contact with my mom after her last eruption. After watching your videos I started to wonder if my mom was a narcissist. She didn’t quite fit the overt/covert but wow the malignant hits the nail on the head. She had a pretty terrible childhood, her mother was in and out of mental hospitals from the time of her birth and her stepfather was abusive. I would love to hear more of these videos concerning family dynamics. Everyone in my family is scared of her and gives her anything she wants. I cut her off after the last time she lost her temper with me, the next day she tried to tell me we never fought and she had no idea what I was talking about. It’s been 3 months and I still get messages like “there’s a tornado in your area please stay safe” “I found out where you live “ “ your father and I won’t make it if we get corona, I love you please reply if you want to know about our life insurance policy” “I’ve driven by your house, I know where you live and you don’t have to hide your new address anymore”. I find myself feeling so bad for her. Everyone in my family thinks I’m being ridiculous even though they are equally scared of her and won’t move to our state because of her. My family is using “forgiveness” and “God” to pressure me to resume my relationship with her. If I watch your videos I find myself wondering half the time if it’s me or my mother who is the narcissist but this video made me even more confident to keep my family and I away from her.

[@mn-kt6em]

I’d also like to add my niece is being used as a pawn. She lives in the house with my mother and her alcoholic mother, my sister. My sister was letting my husband and I assume guardianship of her but when my mom found out she convinced my sister I was an abusive, terrible person and even though neither of them care a thing about my niece they hold her like property. She’s randomly kept from me and then randomly dropped off at my doorstep at 9PM after her waking up for the day.

[@ruthvansandt9713]

Those messages sound like my mom. She was never physical but the emotional mess has been overwhelming and even though I tried to go no contact she sends me messages so similar to how yours does... I believe in forgiveness, but it is NOT the same as forgetting or reconciliation. You might like the work of Sister Renee Pitelli. She does a great job of countering the “just forget and forgive” abusive rhetoric (which relies on cherry-picking Scriptures)

[@jennifermaurer9589]

We are terrified that our daughter is involved with a malignant narcissist. We don’t know how to handle it as parents, his paranoia and control and she believes him we are so scared of losing her. What do we do?

[@leahschnabel3858]

I feel for my children 🥺. This explains a whole lot.💔

[@aberhassan2545]

I had a friend who fits this mold perfectly. Huge rage and beating up her husband. But also I witnessed her manipulation and So dangerous because doesnt follow rules.

[@pavanatanaya]

I lost my father as a child. His alcoholism and abuses were inflicted on my older brothers, who passed it all along to the younger children.

[@Liz66bee]

I wish everyone would watch and listen to Dr Ramani (I'm alway singing her praises to loved ones!) - so few people are aware of how much malignant narcs destroy lives (I don't want to go into details, but for me it began with a rageful physically violent father and then a stream of other abusers in adulthood.) I've since discovered even more horrific histories in my family (including sexual abuse) going back to a psychopathic gt gt grandfather. Once the damage is done it's like a trainwreck crashing downhill (well, that's me anyway) I will never recover, in fact I'd rather not be alive. The PTSD makes life not worth living really, getting through each day is an achievement for me and I've lived nearly 54 years now. I only keep going for my kids and wonderful husband, other than that the flashbacks, grief and self-loathing are unbearable. These monsters truly destroy lives - the world needs to grasp this fact and then ask deeper questions about why we allow and enable these people. Our whole society seems to be run by and for narcissists and they encourage these patterns.

[@jadegreen8159]

Yes. Flashbacks.

[@kikyaaakun]

This is so clearly explained. I always think my ex is too grandiose to be an covert, but too being a victim and contempt to be an overt. He was super manipulative and ALWAYS calculating to exploit other people. Now this is more likely

[@lisalomax1284]

This is my mother- exactly. I am going no contact- it took me 5 decades to get there. This is so helpful Dr. Ramani- thank you.

[@victoriaserna1495]

Thank you sooo much!!!!! I needed to hear this! and figure out if a certain person was either a narcissist or a psychopath.. Sharing this information for clarity of the family affected. This person tried public humiliating me in exchange for an apology of something i never did. She took it further and things got so ugly.. legal wise, that I felt like i should have given in to shut her up, but I didn't... man do i have stories that are scary....

[@victoriaserna1495]

Gordon Fornow i have diagnoses questions too, but what we do have is the DSM 5, and after doing some research I feel this kind of narcissist (in my story) is someone that has narcissistic personality disorder... the family even agrees. I feel Dr. Ramani should do a video differentiating between malignant narc, NPD, and antisocial PD. As far as the legal stuff, Im so sorry to hear that. But the people who don’t get it will have their lessons to learn when they realize who’s hiding in plain sight. No one else can take away the fact you’re a good person- Knowing this has kept me strong and unbreakable because that is something a narcissist can never be or fake. Darkness comes to light and I pray you have your day 🙏🏼

[@Paula-pv7ep]

Yep had to fight two of these people in court .One was my ex mother in law. Crazy,crazy .In both of these people karma steps in .I'm thankful for everything I have .Dont associate with people like that .Monty python would say Run away ,Run away .! Lol thank you Dr .Anouther big day ! Life is fun keep pressing on !

[@teachasp6316]

That's my ex. It's been over a decade, and I'm still suffering with complex PTSD.

[@jenn7503]

Dr Ramani is so simple, almost without makeup and she is so beautiful.

[@asdyjusino5157]

I have been into 2 narcissistic relationships as a true empath I am. In my experience my narcissists have a combination of at least 2 types of narcissism. First one was the prototype of a grandiose narc but had also some of the covert traits always attributing his failures to other people’s doing or bad luck. The second relationship although shorter as I was able to see the flags in a shorter period of time, it was a classic covert but with malignant narcissistic traits as far as the control of my time, my clothing and intent to isolate me even from my kids. Can you make an episode of this phenomenon where they can have traits from different types? I was able to leave an 8 year relationship with the first one due to your work and specifically your book, Should I stay or should I go. You can’t imagine how many aide notes I have saying he does this. Thank you for your work trying to save one person at a time from this plague. Thank you for being instrumental in giving me my life back! 💞

[@bigceazer]

the most dangerous strain of the disorder but also the most fascinating (not in a good way). out of all the different types i have always been fascinated with the malig piece.

[@annachiarasimonetti8916]

Thank you, Doctor Ramani. I am getting so much more clarity through your videos. I wish that after this series you would do a series on deep healing!

[@genevalawrence801]

I second that request.

[@LaFayette3110]

Thank you so much! Especially with the videos on how to deal with it. I'm seeing narcissists everywhere and dealing with the "you're so vindictive!" push back of going no contact! I'm new to this, keep 'em coming!

[@glowbyive4722]

Thank you for all your information. This explains my severe PTSD I grew with 2 narcissist parents, my mother had episodes of mania and abuse me physically to the point, she tried to kill me (she also tried to kill my dad) I then attracted only narcissists in my life and suffered physical, emotional and mental abuse daily. I do not longer speak to my parents (they are divorced) and I left all my narcissist ex partners until the abuse was so bad I was removed from the home by the police with my kids because the abuse was so bad. I am learning to break free from codepency as I realize it has become a pattern 😞

[@borealiswan2363]

Now I know. My father was a malignant narc, and my mother a covert narc. For a long time I couldn't quite pinpoint what it was exactly. My brother and I went through hell growing up with so much physical violence and verbal abuse, no wonder no one wants to believe us, not even therapists. Once again, thank you Dr Rarami, for your clear presentations. It means the world to me to finally make sense of all that happened 60 years, and I feel good because I'm growing, education is empowerment. And now I'll be able to translate all that to my brother. We cannot thank you enough ! Cheers !

[@keithstewart7514]

May the healing with your brother be found to repeat in my own life & those many COUNTLESS OTHER'S!

[@priancavail6520]

This is amazing Dr Ramani. I experienced ALOT of this an soooo Happy I am out of the relationship!! I do feel like I have PTSD. My therapist doesn’t appear to know how to deal with Malignant Narcs. You ate teaching me know more than anything I have found anywhere else!! Thank you do much and may the Lord bless and keep you Dr!!🙏😊🌹

[@sallyshepherd8709]

The awareness of Narcissistic abuse and the need for therapists , support groups and knowledge is increasing. Thank you Dr Ramani for this well expressed information, for providing a platform for sharing and making it accessible to the public. Often it is those who can’t afford help That need it most.

[@Narcshield]

You are so amazing. I am loving your channel and recommending . 💓

[@Canaday291]

My ex “husband “ is the extreme form of malignant npd and he’s an alcoholic . He has caused so much irreversible mental and physical damage to my children and I on his ongoing abusive evil path I now continue to pick up the pieces of his diabolical destruction to my children by educating and protecting them from his abuse and oppressive control with therapy