Mama: A Queer Black Woman’s Story of a Family Lost and Found--Nikkya Hargrove with zahra alabanza

Charis welcomes Nikkya Hargrove in conversation with zahra alabanza for a discussion of Mama: A Queer Black Woman’s Story of a Family Lost and Found. In this searing and uplifting memoir, a young Black queer woman fresh out of college adopts her baby brother after their incarcerated mother dies, determined to create the kind of family she never had.
Nikkya Hargrove spent a good portion of her childhood in prison visiting rooms. When her mother-addicted to cocaine and just out of prison-had a son and then died only a few months later, Nikkya was faced with an impossible choice. Although she had just graduated from college, she decided to fight for custody of her half brother, Jonathan. And fight she did.
Nikkya vividly recounts how she is subjected to preconceived notions that she, a Black queer young woman, cannot be given such responsibility. Her honest portrayal of the shame she feels accepting food stamps, her family’s reaction to her coming out, and the joy she experiences when she meets the woman who will become her wife reveal her sheer determination. And whether she’s clashing with Jonathan’s biological father or battling for Jonathan’s education rights after he’s diagnosed with ADHD and autism, this is a woman who won’t give up.
Nikkya’s moving story picks up where Bryan Stevenson’s Just Mercy left off, exploring generational trauma and pulling back the curtain on family court and poverty in America. Mama is an ode to motherhood and identity, and to finding strength in family and community, for readers of memoirs by Ashley C. Ford, Natasha Tretheway, and Dawn Turner.
Nikkya Hargrove is a graduate of Bard College and currently serves as a member of the school's Board of Governors and chair of the alumni/ae Diversity Committee. A LAMBDA Literary Nonfiction Fellow, she has written about adoption, marriage, motherhood, and the prison system for The Washington Post, The Guardian, The New York Times, Scary Mommy, and Shondaland. She has worked for social impact nonprofits providing support to underserved communities throughout her professional career. She lives in Connecticut with her wife and three children.
zahra conjures enthusiasm for life by practicing pleasure and play, living simply and working hard via labor and manifestation. Being a parent, organizer, creator and adventurer are a few roles that allow her to explore the depths of life and community. As a visionary, project starting, community weaving, overloving outdoor junkie, she utilizes experience and space curation, outdoor adventure, land base work , wellness rituals as the root of her community organizing efforts to enhance the quality of life among Black folk. Her work centers Black women, children and queer folks and meets at the intersection of justice, healing, quality of life and Black liberation.
zahra is the principal consultant at Blue In Green Consulting, co-founder of Red Bike and Green-Atlanta and Black Freedom Outfitters, both entities centering BlackJoy in the outdoors. She is also on the leadership team for Radical Adventure Riders and a co-founder of the Untokening and the Anna Julia Learning and Liberation Center.
zahra is a yoga practitioner, doula and urban grower. She is a wannabe surfer, skateboarder and sailor, who loves books and leisure. Homebase is in Atlanta where she is raising her youngest son, while her eldest is exploring college at Alcorn State University . She is grateful for an ever evolving beloved tribe who have poured into her everything. zahra has visited almost 40 countries on 6 continents. She wants so much out of life and can't wait to see what more it can offer her as she forever wanders.
The event is free and open to all people, but we encourage and appreciate a donation of $5-20 in support of the work of Charis Circle, our programming non-profit. Donate on crowdcast or via our website: www.chariscircle.org/donate or in person at the event.