Man Overcomes Homophobia In Locker Room, Then Thrives In Gay Volleyball League.

Growing up, it was not uncommon for Jesse Anderson to hear homophobic comments on the soccer field. This had a chilling effect on his interest in competitive sports - until one day, when a friend convinced him to join a gay volleyball league.
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[@KoldingDenmark]

One of my regrets in life is that I didn't have the courage to join a water polo team, a friend from military wanted me to join. They were very physical with each other in the locker room and in the pool, and they for sure knew I was gay, but my insecurity with myself at that time frightened me. You cannot shake off a childhood of being bullied and excluded just like that. Too bad. They were really nice and it would have been very healthy for me to join in and experience being accepted for who I was at that age. Makes you wish you can turn back time and redo things.

[@Magnetron33]

Thanks! This world is not always a friendly place for thoughtful sensitive people. We just have to find the other ones like ourselves. I had no affinity for team sports at all.I had very few friends but they were real friends. You are a beautiful spirit and I am glad the path was laid open to you

[@suvariboy]

I always avoided team sports for this very reason. I tried a gay volleyball league the guys were so much more advanced than I was and they got very frustrated when I missed a serve. Maybe it just wasn't the right group of guys. I'm glad it worked for you! 💓

[@flaviocardosu]

Same happened to me. Gay volleyball can be very cruel to not very good players

[@dannywhite8178]

All gay sports leagues are cliques and mean girls. I tired a few and it was all the same. I avoid it

[@justjon_6844]

Yess! It’s inclusive bc they’re gay but exclusive bc they’re super skilled and stuck up bc they think they’re better than everyone which I guess they are but like you don’t have to be mean about it

[@joeskykay]

There are higher and lower divisions of gay volleyball. Make sure you are in the correct one for your level.

[@ashsummermakaio4756]

@@dannywhite8178 Not only the gays, the straights do it too, but worse.

[@stevostevo202]

Great story. A lot of guys can relate with what he went through, especially those that spent time in and around straight guys and sports teams. Thanks for sharing your story.

[@xtradelite903]

In high school I won first prize in overall competitions for a track & field tournament. Needless to say, I got called gay derogatory names. I never felt accepted by my school, community, nor my family. In later years I tried gymnastics, but still no support from anyone.

[@stefan0ni]

I hated school sports...but looking back now, after 40 years, I realise that the real issue had been the unrelenting homophobic bullying meted out to me incessantly; silently colluded in by the teaching staff. It was beyond shameful. Oh, and the chap telling his story in this video is soooooo handsome. 😉

[@thegreenmanofnorwich]

It's really good that you found a group you could have fun with and who you can form bonds with

[@charlesmccombsjr4712]

Gay sports were a Godsend when I came out. I loved the years I played in NAGVA and NAGAAA leagues. They helped me realize that I didn’t have to give up sports just because I was Gay.

[@ktstt65]

Bless You! Enjoyed your story

[@DannyLTerry]

THX FOR SHARING! MANY OTHER'S HAVE GONE OR GOING THROUGH THE SAME SITUATION, YOU GAVE THEM HOPE! AND THAT CANNOT BE TAKEN AWAY. MUCH LOVE*

[@eusoffable]

Yes agreed with all the " handsome " remarks !! sweet too !!

[@okimlistening2u]

Jesse, excellent video. Thanks, bro. It is amazing how much power we give to others in accepting who we are. I think the key is to be who we are regardless of what others think about who we are. Thanks, man........Ray

[@mangplamatadavonyiurs7678]

I dont know why straight guys take gym seriously.. if you miss a kick who cares its just a game

[@geedubb2005]

Because it’s “the guy thing” and “jock thing” to do, no matter how much they secretly crave Dick.

[@redgodofwar7723]

For those who can, it is also okay to stand up to the homophobes, and put them in their place. Be confident. Show no fear. It also helps if you know how to fight. Almost always, without a physical fight, the above is enough for the homophobes to back off. They will stop disrespecting you, at least to your face. We all know how most people view those who talk about others behind their backs.

[@detonationlurks]

“Bitch you better hit that serve!” Made me smile so hard.

[@johnmyers7008]

Aww... what a sweet guy!

[@stephenfermoyle4578]

happy that you found an outlet for your sports and are happy

[@danny1979ize]

What a beautiful man, he is very handsome, I wish a husband like him 😍

[@tyxclusive4343]

big sus

[@mspaintxpedition1648]

@@tyxclusive4343 omg 😧 amogus

[@Mirror1973]

We have all been there, I understand completely

[@valsainking]

So happy for this guy finally rising above his insecurities and overcoming his having felt so dehumanized/demeaned earlier in life. However, I wonder if straight kids/youngsters/young adults also use the terms 'that is so gay' or 'you are so gay for having done x, y or z' or, case in point, 'you're such a f*gg*t for missing that' with each other as put downs, to be sure, but not necessarily to suggest anything necessarily demeaning about the receiver's actual sexual orientation per se, but rather in the same vein as 'you idiot.' I'm just putting that out there. Sometimes we internalize words that may not be necessarily meant to be taken or interpreted to mean anything deeper than merely the superficial.. i.e, 'you're such a b*tch for doing that,' etc.. He states early on that he was used to hearing homophobic slurs throughout his school years, but he never does definitively state that everyone knew he was gay or that these slurs were aimed at him personally. I was kind of left to assume that they were in fact aimed at him in that way, but it wasn't 100% clear. At any rate, it would've taken a superhuman sense of self-confidence not to allow a lot of that to get to him very personally. These interviews demonstrate the bravery these guys have in coming forward and reliving painful experiences for the sake and benefit of us viewers. Lesson here to parents or older siblings of LGBTQ+ kids: please teach these youngsters that demeaning words aimed at them are never a reflection of who they are, they're merely a reflection of who the abuser is. We cannot allow LGBTQ+ children to grow up thinking that destructive words should have any power over them or that they should be internalized or taken to heart. End of rant.

[@donaldstorm4959]

That's a shame that guy did that to you in school cuz you miss the kick you should have told him flat out just a freaking game if you didn't like it tough cookies but anyway I'm glad you're in this group that you're in now it sounds like a lot of fun and you're going to a lot of different places and meeting a lot of different people cheers to you buddy you're an awfully nice guy I wish I knew you personally you're really nice you would make a great friend anyway have a great week

[@donaldstorm4959]

I'm so happy you could do that people need to be around people especially those accepting of others and you found the right niche I hope you're killing them at soccer try and have a nice spring whenever it gets here. DRS.

[@riccardo50001]

I went to a gay volleyball game in Golden Gate park years ago in San Francisco. I've never been competitive in any sport and this team appeared to be extremely competent and competitive. I suppose, because I'm 6'6" they probably hoped I would fit in and be an asset, but it completely put me off and I left. To this day, I prefer to play very relaxed games where you won't be criticized so extremely. It's cool, but I still wish I could find a group that was much more relaxed and did it for fun.

[@rdo1231]

02:27 The best! I couldn't stop laughing!

[@Tripper111]

Dude, thanks for sharing your story...

[@crsmith9988]

I appreciate your healthy attitude.

[@monica8833]

Awesome dude

[@user-be5qg7mr1s]

What a sweet and charming guy.

[@MyTimeOutt]

Your friend (Boston) gave you much kindness. Grateful that you were able to be accepted....

[@aaryck5601]

Sounds like NAGVA. That also changed my life. Been doing it for 20 years now. ❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@MarcusLeepapi]

You are very handsome. God bless you..

[@mikerace281]

Marcus LeeP i agree sexy

[@mikerace281]

Marcus LeeP do you have a boyfriend now

[@mikerace281]

Marcus LeeP do you have email addressp

[@mikerace281]

Marcus LeeP I am 69 years old very hairy 6 ft 180 lbs 8 inches thick when erect I am a top live in Columbia south Carolina my phone number is 15852080490 you can text or call me would love to get to know you maybe send or text you some pictures of me you will not be disappointed nine

[@MarcusLeepapi]

No. And do you have boyfriend as of now.

[@Nehmi]

"Bitch, you better GET that serve!!!" 😆😆😆

[@Dayglodaydreams]

How can autistic men be allies? We used to be picked on for various things. People thought we were passive. We were weak. we had one friend we wouldn't leave alone (you know what that means). They thought we were gay. We just wanted to be left alone by the jerks, the bullies. I guess I overcompensate with aggression now, because of the assholery I endured in middle school. I just want to be left alone with my life so I can pursue life to the fullest. How do I support people who are gbtq or l?

[@rebekahrain4158]

Conner Fields wtf does this even mean lmao

[@geedubb2005]

Jesse, if you look back at some of those guys now, maybe you’ll understand that they were hiding something and acting out, they figured no one would believe they had a craving for guys too. Some will suffer and take their secret to the grave and sometimes that burning fire inside them will be so bad, they put themselves in an early grave. I come from a generation and community that (I feel) wasn’t too accepting. I pray that in the next 60+ years, people will be kinder and gentler towards ones preference.

[@JoJo-xb7do]

I don't know if this is that much of a positive story. He quit football because he was verbally abused, was not accepted and then had to change sports. Despite him liking volley ball, seems a shame he had leave football because of bullying.

[@Joe-xf7nr]

Bitch you better hit that serve,. LOL...love these stories of empowerement and courage, keep it coming. thanks

[@keithdobson9976]

A bit confused here. I am a gay man as well and grew up in rural Pennsylvania. Was closeted into my 20’s after college and moved to a more urban accepting area. I am curious if you were “out” in the high school situation? I also played team sports and heard many similar types of negative comments from coaches, teammates and peers aimed a numerous individuals over the years. What if he called you an asshole, moron or said you sucked? You are essentially saying because you were recognized, by your own determination as being a gay man described by a derogatory slur, you were negatively impacted. Would any other name lead to the same personal impact? Realistically in the situation do you believe he understood that the slur he used was more impactful than asshole, idiot, etc? Bitch is an equally offensive term depending on who, when and where. Your ability to draw comfort in hearing that slur pretty much dismisses or may speak to a lack of self acceptance and projection. All factors are part of a very complex problem and I am not judging. I have come to learn through many similar situations, what you heard in this instance was magnified 100x more than the thought or intent it was delivered with. Doesn’t make it right, but considering that may give you more peace of mind.

[@henryhughes4233]

I'm from Asheboro too. I went to SWR.

[@jhb61249]

When I joins a sports club, I only participated in the huddle actions.

[@jeffmorse645]

Yeah, don't hang it on the South. I can't count the times in liberal Northern California I was hit with slurs growing up. All.the.time.

[@jsrodman]

In SF, i'll still encounter people saying things like "That's so gay". The difference is when I call it out, everyone already knows it was a transgression. It results in an apology and a willingness to do better. That's the difference. For my part, I know patterns of speech take effort and time to change. I don't hold grudges.

[@jarekkril8770]

damm, this dude is hot

[@kentfink9509]

Lol. I thought this was an Onion headline

[@itsaaronlolz]

same 🤣

[@rustyalcorta3643]

I didn't participate in sports. I was too nelly. I could never hit or catch a ball. I was a runt so football was really out of the question. Idk if the coach was gay. He'd been in the army and he would tell the boys "you girls better shape up". The guys respected me bc I drove tractors and combines at an early age. Some guys would tease me with "girl you better shape up" and everybody would laugh.

[@mikerace281]

you are still gorgeous

[@larryjones-emery807]

Thank you. I just wish it had not taken me so long--I am 78 now, to honor God, to be honest with myself and others. This video should not have to be needed, but it is. To the young man and any one else out there--read Psalm 20. Be blessed!

[@redshield2117]

This is the hottest men I've ever seen in my whole life

[@Polex12345]

Cool dude.....💛💚💙💜💕❤

[@romanzmlv1458]

Marry me!

[@eddiegardner8232]

Envy that black scruff beard; you are a very handsome guy.

[@ashman167]

What a cutie pie!

[@arlosmith2784]

My partner played high school football 🏈 Queers can be athletes 🙂

[@rudiechinchilla6746]

A good looking guy but it seems a Gay environment integratrd him back into Sports and perhaps Gay lifestyle more intensely but that s his choice

[@AGdnr]

boyfriend material!!!

[@abelromero9266]

Hearing it for fifteen years? Then you were in college? How long were you in school? Edit or change yr KZbin posts bro....

[@bounn_e]

Im here for the Haikyuu comics where r they

[@Jim-bh7gs]

Being super judgmental here and totally not on topic, but a beard needs a topper. Try fuzz only as long as your beard.if I had hair, I'd comb it. I understood and liked your story. Play ball.

[@sann5146]

I don't get it. Since he is gay, why would he not have felt accepted from way back when in an all-men gay sports league?? The only reason he was turned off and got discouraged in high school was because of the anti-gay remark. But it's not as if this or ANY gay league could ever allow such a remark as it would be completely invalid, utterly nonsensical in the first place!?

[@djsmith1964]

title does NOT match the contents.

[@paulchristman2456]

Buddy, if the worst thing that ever happened to you was being called names on a regular basis, even if indeed it happened DAILY, I don't think that you have anything to complain about. Ever heard of Jamie Nabozny ? Check 'im out. After you read HIS story, you'll see what I mean. These days, so many people consider name-calling to be a heinous crime. Sorry, but it ain't. Sure, it's hurtful, but you've gotta be resilient! Older gay men who were teens during the, say, 1970s simply bit the bullet and hung in there, put forth the effort necessary to deal with adversity, and ultimately emerged the stronger and more galvanized and determined to succeed and overcome the strife in their lives for it. These days, too many gay men are constantly whining and playing the Victim card. BE TOUGH .

[@margaritoespinoza6457]

Paul I was thinking the same thing!

[@redwemette5942]

Man your too sensitive

[@allen2331]

So gay... Quit the head swaying. Jesus...

[@BenniStrawberry_YouTube]

Shut up

[@ryancraig9352]

@@BenniStrawberry_KZbin you first troll.

[@BenniStrawberry_YouTube]

Not someone with 1 sub and a trash pfp trying to talk down to me smh

[@BenniStrawberry_YouTube]

Insulting me is really gonna get people to agree with you :) nice racist comment btw if that’s what you meant by pink Hershey

[@_deweyblack_]

wow... he called u a name. Not like that’s ever happened to anyone before 🙃

[@su0gamer815]

"a name" is different than a slur

[@timesfire]

Totally agree. I mean, who is permanently scarred because someone called them a faggot in grade school? I was called that by bullies before I even knew I was gay. It was the go-to word bullies used for everyone. Grow a thicker skin.

[@jsrodman]

@@timesfire It is not the duty of the oppressed to suffer oppression gracefully.

[@bradperkerson5252]

Blah blah blah

[@BenniStrawberry_YouTube]

Why are you hating

[@jazzy_amor]

I don't have homophobia I just can't bring myself to like the gays.

[@RustinTravis]

Perhaps then, you better hope and pray that the person who saves your life one day is not one of those gays you can't seem to like. How could you possibly live with yourself afterwards?

[@iluop3623]

I feel you

[@yeahiprotest]

Fair enough at least you’re honest - just don’t use your power to deny them rights