Managing Loneliness during competitive exams : An Honest Conversation.

[@jeansable2617]

1. Not being able to structure my day better. Repeating same mistakes again and again. My brain has short circuit of just quitting it all when it gets overwhelming. 2. Family problems and guilt of putting other's life plans on hold for my preparation. 3. Cannot be honest to my family and friends 4. Not earning. 5. Regrets of missed opportunities

[@AKyaska]

Each point of your comment is literally my problems too. Thank you for writing it out

[@ankushbajaj5764]

You said it😔🤞🏻

[@KeshSphere]

Same

[@RandomPerson-mf8gs]

same here

[@prashantkhandelwal9976]

My thoughts into words

[@r.n.bhavana]

Sometimes loneliness is the price we pay for our progress. "Levelling up" requires extreme focus & isolation too !

[@rachnakumari]

agree

[@saijalverma2363]

Wow what a wonderful line

[@r.n.bhavana]

Aww, thanks for the wonderful reply!😊 ​@@saijalverma2363

[@vishnuvishnu2986]

Very well said

[@peeyushmeena6842]

Best possible conclusion

[@reenasharma5926]

I am insecure about my Physical health My career My less achievements Not having extra skills like singing etc Not having understanding friends Not having a single relation to share my things One thing I have is Mahadeva and it do give me strength

[@satyamsuman827]

Same here

[@piyushingle317]

Not having extra skill is so relatable. More power to you

[@vaishnavip_99]

I relate to u so much gurl Ur not alone ❤

[@diksha2331]

Same here, buddy 🥺❤️

[@Itz_Aspirant21]

Same here

[@personalvideodiary]

He was absolutely right when he said loneliness is not about lack of friends, but about the feeling of being unheard, unseen and not being understood, the fear that all our efforts would never get appreciated if we don't get success. I am so insecure right now that even the idea of virtual library haunts me!

[@aish__2000]

Couldn't agree more! 😐

[@rubyjohn6253]

Hope you are fine. Sending you tonns of hugs and truck load of love

[@srishtipandey6914]

Had been a topper in my school days, but have been continuously failing in competitive exams since then , I feel left out and low when I see all the others have outperformed me in their lives and are earning well. My family have trust issues with me and I have no one to share my everyday anxieties as I have lost contact with all my friends. I feel uncertain about my efforts Vs the efforts needed to clear UPSC exam. Loneliness can kill a person from inside out and this is true 💯

[@akshayverma5809]

dont worry everything gonna be all right

[@siddharthchaudhary7749]

Same here I was the school topper.....unfortunatey I quit my upsc journey owing to financial and family problems... currently preparing for up police + ssc cgl

[@28mukulthakur92]

I m in the same situation Srishti.....you can share with me🙃.

[@anupasajan2714]

​@Sunaina-dr9jemine too

[@rajverma7920]

Firstly, you ain't alone. I've been good in my school too. Therefore my parents and all my close ones expect a lot from me. They share their expectations and their plans that they have once I get success. This actually puts pressure on me since I know how weak I am. I know how easy it was to perform in schools but this competition is something else and that's why I sometimes feel so low and get scared. But at the end of the day it's your efforts that are in your hand so just put them in and remember one thing. Failure teaches you more than success.. So it doesn't matter how many times you have failed. You are good enough to overturn failure into success. Believe that.

[@ishitasingh218]

I'm getting increasingly insecure about not finishing up major milestones of my life fast enough. Like, I'm 25 years old and lot of 25 yr olds do work and might even paid handsome salaries but I've never earned a single penny in my life. So, this cycle of comparison really drains out energy. And then if i do not ultimately clear this exam, then I'll have to restart with some other industry from basically scratch at much older age, so that really peaks up anxiety. And moreover, friends around aren't that interactive and claim that they're busy indirectly, so seems pointless to approach anyone for calling, let alone everyday. But, I do walk a lot and video call my parents frequently and prolly will include dancing in my routine to feel less lonely. Thanks so much for the video and the advice. 🌻

[@zaharabatool6519]

Same 😢

[@shubhsharma19]

same here, i m 24 and preparing for a high paying remote job, its taking hard work and time.

[@upsccivilsprelimsTarget2024]

Iam also feeling same thing,1year before iam very enthusiastic about prepation But now from inside of mine feeling sad , still not earning as 24 year boy 😢😢😢😢 Feeling lonely nese daily...😭😭

[@vegetosaiyan6046]

Sbki yehi Kahani hai 😅

[@vegetosaiyan6046]

​@@upsccivilsprelimsTarget2024bro until 30 lge rho

[@mahimatripathi3464]

Omg omg this is literally the video that I needed. Sir I am going into a numb place. I've no friends. I've stopped talking to everyone . I don't know what to talk about people are living their lives , talking about corporate world and here I am preparing for exams. My vulnerabilities are : 1. I'm gaining weight due to constant sitting . I'm ashamed to go out . And I'm not able to manage it. Because of loneliness and anxiety food becomes my only friend. 2. Constant taunting and pressure from family and relatives , that everyone else around me is in job and I am not. 3. I've no friends. And when I say . No I really mean no! I don't know how to make friends anymore. I've nonsicla media accounts because I was getting depressed seeing everyone's lives . 4. Because of all this my productivity is decreasing. And I've constant fear if I don't clear pre this time I'll be married off and never allowed to prepare again . Sir you can make a virtual library. Most of us are not in library or Delhi so please you can do that . If the link will be yours it'll be safe for girls like me as well.

[@sumitpalgrewal1111]

I see you! Sending hugs Sister ! 💕💫

[@Abcdedcb]

I feel you! We are in this together

[@cgsahana3]

It felt like someone just spoke out the things in my head right now. Just like how Shivin sir told, we aren’t alone! More power to you and best wishes 😊

[@mahimatripathi3464]

@@sumitpalgrewal1111 thank you 💐💐

[@mahimatripathi3464]

@@cgsahana3 we aren't alone.👍👍 Thank you.

[@anonymous051]

My main vulnerability is if results are not positive then nobody will understand how much efforts that I’ve put in how much changes I have made made in my daily life it will just go unheard

[@ishitajain537]

I agree. Although I am not in this journey to gain external validation, there is a sad realization that NOBODY can actually see my efforts or all the sacrifices that I have made. I have spent 3 years in this preparation and it has been a wonderful experience overall, but to think about it practically, I could have attained a Masters degree in these 2-3 years that would have quantified my efforts. Its the lack of acknowledgement of my hard work that troubles me. I really hope it turns out to be fruitful this year.

[@azharreads12345]

🥺🥺🥺🥺agree

[@hritikapandey945]

So are uh making those efforts for other people? People outside will always say something. If uh will become IRS they will say Ias to ni bna..If uh will be Ias they will say 1 st attempt me nhi bana..

[@chaitanyajagdale4405]

Same here

[@pinkiborah9815]

Same here 😢

[@BANJARA36]

Hello Shivin , writing my heart out , started preparing for upsc since 1 July 2017 in final year of my graduation appeared for four attempt but couldn't not clear this ruthless exam sometimes due to csat or sometime due to optional. Financial condition as downtrodden throughout all these years and then appeared for pcs but during mains got my appendix inflammation and couldn't study due to severe stomach pain. Nothing was going well and here my younger brother started preparation in 2019 after his graduation from Delhi University and he made into pdf list with ICAS post and he appeared for interview this year for IAS. I am very happy for him because atleast he was more deserving than me and the issue of financial condition has improved after his service allocation. But mentally I am feeling like loser and being at the age of 27 is itself making a huge impact on my mental health. My father doesn't give damn shit about all this and he believes that I am lazy and careless. He always compares me with my younger brother and I am started losing my self esteem. Lost my grandfather just before the prelims who was our support system financially then. After my younger brother qualified things have improved but my self belief has gone down due to taunt of my father that you are worthless. Taking a break for upsc to appear for UPPSC and hoping for best!!😢😢😢 Bura lagta hai sab log chote Bhai ki baat karte hai aur hum Zinda hai ki nhi kisi ko fark nhi padta . Success is everything, sometimes even your parents!😢😢

[@Believer_25.]

It's real but don't lose hope,we will definitely succeed 💚

[@asifs100]

Talk to your brother, study together, learn from what he did right, don't let shame/ego come in between both of you and ignore everything else/ everybody else. All the best.

[@pratibhasharma8500]

Here is virtual hug 😊 dont loose hope

[@sakhi_1470]

Talk about all this which you write here to your parents that you as a individual exist not this exam is the only thing...and talk to your brother for the stretegy an all and at the last you yourself don't compare yourself with anyone

[@ZIVOT-uh7bn]

Hi brother , don't get disheartened, Understand this, all this is happening for a Reason, for something better which is better than your aspirations at the moment.

[@nikkianjna9210]

1. Constant Guilt of not completing targets 2. Low productivity 3.Marriage pressure 4. family issues and many more

[@AnshuMI2021]

My girl friend left me for another, and she asked her new friend to abuse me over phone. I never got abused like that in my life. I feel relieved from her, but I don't know why I still care her. The loneliness killed my studies. I got bedridden. Lost self confidence. Getting back seems very difficult.

[@tusharbanerjea1602]

More power to you my friend!

[@sagarkharate3371]

Stand up for yourself, there's a lot to achieve in near future.. Utho aur bhagna shuru karo apne sapno ki aur

[@The_Voice_Note]

Make yourself a priority bro❤ consider yourself as an *Award* , who left u didn't deserve that precious award at all . Love yourself more💕

[@jooniemoonie34]

maybe it was never meant to be..stay strong buddyy....get up everyday and imagine ur self as an officer. work hard for that. your day will come soon. nd such people were never meant to be in ur life, dont stress, work nd show them who is the boss

[@viveksingh-ok6il]

aur bhi dukh hai zamane mae mohabbat ke siwa, waqt ko thoda waqt do sab thk ho jayega

[@shrankhalajain5911]

Dance is real therapy me - sad frustrated 😮‍💨 my mind - chal naach 🤩

[@nitajathar9578]

😂👍👍

[@sisyphus2309]

A Stanford professor of neurobiology Dr. Andrew Huberman recommends these 5 irreplaceable things in life. I have personally found it useful and sustainable. 1. Quality Sleep 6-8 hrs 2. Ideally an hour of body Movement (running yoga strength training etc) 3. Morning Sunlight in the eyes. 4. 80% of food from non-processed food 5. Healthy Social Interaction with friends and family. Each one of them is essential if you think about it. 5th one is relevant in loneliness indeed.

[@pot1121]

First four to follow ho rahe hain....but yaar last one ! Feels like out of my control....tried it , failed at it.😂

[@chhavivashisht3055]

Absolutely he, s awesome... I do follow his things which he recommend as his advice are based on scientific research.

[@akshay3432]

Thank you for sharing

[@rutujakedar4917]

I was facing so Many issues during high time of studies , month of January and Feb was so difficult, my bp went 160/100 , could not able to walk ,, was unconscious for days , hospitalized for week , was on antidepressants, and anxiety pills , sleeping pills , getting seizures , my family was constantly around me not leaving me even for seconds bcz anytime I was falling down due to seizures even in sleep I was shivering , months went with full bed dress, But then I decided to change my lifestyle Just constantly studying might giving you satisfaction of completion of syllabus bt your body and mind is not what it want I started practicing meditation, yoga , visualization, proper food habits, stopped junk food , now I'm studyin very efficiently with satisfaction that my life is balanced There I realized that all your problems are in your mind , you just have to think why you are thinking abt this problem, is it even affecting your life, Evey problem has solutions you just have to realize that go to root cause of it , give time to yourself, stay calm , whenever you feel in hurry, disturbed, sit there , focus on breathing, and all your problems will be sorted , ! Believe that you have universal power inside you, tell your self thing and you will be all right

[@knishigandha98]

Thank you !

[@knishigandha98]

Can we talk personally rutuja

[@srishtishukla4186]

Things I'm insecure about- 1) not earning at the age of 25 2) marriage pressure if not clearing the exam 3) not regular with my targets ( 4 din padhai achhe se hogi to 4 din gayab) 4) mood swings 5) doubting on my capabilities 6) kab bnungi Mai financially independent? Will improve myself, will start again from scratch ,will be consistent...... Sir please create a virtual library it'll be more helpful..

[@999rpey]

Started earning at 27.. do not let anyone put you down.. whatever it takes to make yourself happy do it All the best

[@OSLO-TheLabrador]

​@@999rpey26 and half..and still preparing..it's hard sometimes!

[@jhhgghh]

All the above are my issues too. I want to get rid of these worries asap.

[@sarbaneenanda99]

This is the most honest talk in a long,long time. You’re unheard,unseen but I’m unapologetically guilty now. Every human relationship is based on the phenomenon of communicating and socialising,but sometimes saying NO is important. I’m so glad,to feel that I’m NOT alone. And someday,I’ll be in a better place and in a better mental place. Thankyou so much Sir.

[@kaushik_borah]

Feeling the lowest point in my life after losing my father 4 years back...had a brk up few days back, (completely my fault).. we were together for 9 long years...lost my grandmother, past 1.5 years preparing for this exam... and now when it matters the most it feels like everything is slipping away... feel lonely,end of the day no one to talk to... feels like i am losing some part of myself, feels like the end of the world like this is it 😅 but i am fighting, as much as i can ,keep trying everyday to fight the negativities, hope i get my ass back up quicky

[@MonikaDaddarwal]

Show yourself grace, as you try to optimise this crucial time. A lot of times, being super hard on ourselves is also not effective. Doesn't help with studies, doesn't help with mental health. So, try to be compassionate to yourselves, and study... Coz studying is therapeutic too, ain't it.

[@akkadianspeaks]

Stop self beating that it was your fault Those who want to stay will always be there for you no matter how bad the situation is.. She left you bcz she wanted to that's the fact which you shd accept rn

[@ankurjyotisarma7202]

Xinta nokoriba bondhu.....❤

[@Ritwika8979]

lost my mother in 2021 due to covid, grandmother in 2022, got a job in 2022 but didn't receive offer letter till date, upar se pressure job na hone ka...khone ko aur hai ka life mein

[@deepjyoti1847]

Going thru the same things in life I can understand what you're feeling...

[@anujkrishansharma3057]

Pressure of age, family, society Responsibility of taking care of family...ageing of my parents. Haven't cleared any exam yet. Zero bank balance at the age 30. Health problems both mental and physical. Mindset - just waiting to clear any exam and after that I will restructure my life. Sometimes I lost and didn't know whts happening in my life and if I am going on right path or not..Did I took a right decision, guilty of not achieve anything yet though I close to 30 now Guilty of not able to study properly... sometimes I thought that I am caught in vicious cycle of health and things revolve around this. But still I will not give up...how many times I fall...its self belief and never giving up attitude that holding me up...😊

[@SuperDeshraj]

May god bless you..

[@monalisa74844]

I'm in a similar situation right now. Couldn't relate more

[@IffatFarooqui-vp2lz]

that was motivating ...dont loose hope anuj, good things are on the way and more power to u

[@taranisahu911]

May God bless you..

[@ravichandra8159]

Future fruit fulls day on the way sir

[@priyalohar1707]

Listening your last lines got tears in my eyes.. seriously just saying this that yes don't worry I am here with you.. gives so much relief that I can't even express in words.. I am glad to be part of your KZbin Fam.. Thank you so much for putting so much efforts 💙😇

[@arpitwanjari1163]

1.Not able to make right descisions 2.doing same mistakes again and again 3.not able to follow a timetable 4.not able to forget past traumas 5.oveethinking 6.not earning 7.loosung physical and mental health.

[@badrayalam7842]

Don't worry I recommend you Acharya Prasant book विद्यार्थी जीवन पढ़ाई और मौज

[@riturajsinghmourya9803]

I am Preparing for UPSC-CSE 25 and my relationship recently ended and since then I am suffering from anxiety and panic attacks, I Tried Meditation and All kind of stuff But I am not able to move on. Her thought and memories are constantly keep coming in my mind . I Really Want to Kick Start And Clear my CSE 25

[@omkarkamble9482]

Same dude exact

[@brahmachariinsaan6956]

Sometimes i just feel that i m passing days

[@saylibirare3920]

Aren't you just a blessing for us all?🌻

[@newupdates7799]

Hi sayli

[@sagarkharate3371]

Undoubtedly!

[@anshunayak7828]

1) I am 30 2) I started preparing for UPSC in 2017, continued it till 2019-20. 3) shifted my preparations to only state pcs, other competitive exams. 4) not cleared any of them 5) then again i started preparing for UPSC from 2023 6) I teach in a paramedical college currently 7) I live with my parents and still feel loneliness sometimes. 8) Not able to sleep at night sometimes 9) and thank you for this session.

[@swatisoni526]

Don't worry dear One day u definitely get selected and good partner You are not alone god with us ❤️

[@akshay3432]

More power to you man…. Just want to say don’t let anything be it anxiety, FOMO or anything for that matter to come between you and you growth in life

[@anshunayak7828]

Thank you for your kind words! ❤️

[@akshayverma5809]

sab sahi ho jayega idhar bhi yehi haal hai

[@bhagyashreetamhane4766]

Keep it up. One day you'll get it

[@cozyinmycorner1]

I've stayed away from people of my age for so long that I've gotten used to being alone. But sometimes loneliness kicks in and i start crying and looking for ways to stop feeling lonely. This makes me sabotage my progress. I have a lot of coping mechanisms and not a single one of them is healthy but i tell myself I'm not alone, there are thousands of people like me who are trying to fight this battle.

[@satvikijain3602]

Sometimes anxious about Having a comprehensive knowledge base still not clearing the exam Losing friends Losing time.

[@Sunilmahesh-bc1gu]

Some days I can't focus on studies completely I end up watching 2/3 webseries episodes some times I can't concentrate much even though I am studying. In preparation since 2021 and I feel like all my friends are earning and I am doing nothing not enjoying life and not becoming a successful person either...I can't support my parents..will I ever be able to fullfill their wishes? Will I ever be able to achieve my dreams? If this doesn't work what will I do? When should i know it's time to leave this? So many questions and fears but one thing is constant- shivin sir's support. No matter where I go in life sir will always remember you and pray for you!

[@prachisingh9322]

I don’t know if anybody would read my comment or not . But I too feel very lonely . I am about to turn 27 this year . I am preparing since 2019 and i am not able to clear even prelims in any stage . Sometimes I feel that am I stupid or loser that I can’t clear prelims . I went to good school and scored 95% then I went to LSR(DU) and came in top 10 in my course from all over university. But now facing constant failure and not even passing any other exam makes me worried . There is pressure of marriage . But I don’t want to get married before getting a job . I have no friends to talk about how insecure and incomplete I feel in this journey . Every night I have this constant fear and insecurity about not clearing exam . Days and years have passed but nothing came out , everything seems like it was in 2019 when I started preparing . I don’t know if I could ever tell these things to anybody in person . This upsc stress is killing me from inside . Constant pressure is making me weak mentally and emotionally. I don’t know what god has planned . Just don’t know what to do …..

[@rockytherott7643]

Virtual 🫂 hug ,I hope u get what you deserve

[@prachisingh9322]

@@rockytherott7643 thank you ☺️

[@Study_12319]

Prayers & hardwork does wonder ! I wish the best for you, You've been academically well I'm sure you'll succeed in whatever you'll do 😊❤

[@prachisingh9322]

@@Study_12319 ❤️❤️

[@mohit_malikking867]

You are from DU , you don't have friends. Hard to believe

[@ruchikakumawat5315]

Sir me roj raat ko sochti hu ki kal se bhut acche se padenge par fir next day bhi depression me, stress me nikal jata h fir vhi raat ko guilt ke sath soti hu. And I feel that I am lost. Feels like something is broken inside. Lagta h ki koi muje nhi samjhta h. Socha tha akele sb kuch kar lungi lekin ye nhi socha tha ki khud se bhi dur ho jaugi. मौजूद तो हू मै इस दुनिया में अब तलाश अपनी वजूद की कर रहे है , हम दुनिया से नहीं बल्कि अपने आप से लड़ रहे हैं ! The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keep out the joy .

[@_Grace-__-0f-__-G0d-__-]

🙁

[@manpreet_singh_sandhu1313]

Same problem is here

[@payelmallick215]

I was little bit shocked when I saw Shivin sir giving the same example of early man also used to live in tribes. I also give this example to people to make them understand what it feels like to be constantly alone even if you hate it. For me the problem is quite different. Initially it was not because of UPSC prep but leaving my family post covid and coming to do my corporate job. Years after putting the effort in the corporate I somehow realized that may be I am not so good in corporate politics as I thought doing your work dedicatedly is what matters. In the mean time, the thought of UPSC become more clear. Now I have quit my job. Although I have financial issues in my home but somehow I managed to gather the courage to take the step. I don't know if my story will resemble with anybody out there. But if a single person feels connected that will be a lot for me. Finally, thanks sir for the session. At least, somebody talked about this real issue apart from other study related stuffs🙂.

[@rashmisingh4316]

First of all I want to thank you for this video. In this UPSC market, everyday there are so many videos related to the content but no one talks about the actual feelings of an aspirant, their actual struggle which is not related to any content or syllabus. You have always been like a rock for your KZbin family. There are a lot of things which I am insecure about, stressed about. The constant fear of failure, not able to give my best even if I want to. It feels like I am drifting apart from this journey, not feeling like studying a whole day and then again comes constant regret and the cycle repeats. The fact that my parents are getting old and I haven't done anything yet to make them proud kills me. Being an introvert I don't share my actual feelings with anyone. The comparison of my dull life with others, the weight of expectations, demotivates me even more. The point where I don't feel good in my own body, not feeling confident because of the weight that I gained. Everything just feels so negative around me, honestly I don't even want to go out and meet anyone because I have found comfort in a lonely space where no body would see me, judge me or ask questions about my life. Sometimes it feels things are gonna happen for me too but the next moment it is filled with regret, anxiety, suicidal thoughts. It just feels like it would have been so good if all of this just ended with me. I don't know when did I start feeling unworthy of everything. But here I am trying to put myself together and try my best. Thank you so much Sir, I don't know if you would be reading this comment or not but still because of you I was able to pour my heart out and accept the fact that I am not okay, I am depressed but I am ready to fight and would try till the end. ALL THE BEST FOR YOUR UPCOMING FUTURE Sir.

[@adityaanand1701]

Fear, stress, Anxiety and Loneliness is at the peak.

[@MissRajput24]

I'm also going through the problem of gaining weight, stress and emphasizing more on my flaws, but I started atleast 20 minutes exercise in the morning and evening. I started connecting to God and listening peaceful music. I also sing songs and write poems to feel better. Nowadays I am feeling much better. 😊

[@sagarkharate3371]

I've been preparing since 3 years and the amount of stress increases as each year passes. Feels like stuck in a loop, doing same things everyday. The world is moving fast while we are standing still and everyone is surpassing us. I felt that I was the only one facing these issues of loneliness, being left out, anxiety but after reading all the comments I feel happy and sad at the same time. Happy since I'm not the only one going through this and it's normal to feel that but Sad to know that so many fellow mates are going this struggling phase of life. I hope everyone comes out of this loop and shine bright in their life. Thanks Shivin for speaking up on this issue, you're like a brother for all of us who speaks his heart and cares about us, I've been following you since you were an anonymous aspirant and it feels good to see you grow and you're helping others grow too. And a huge shoutout to the people, in this comment section. We're all going to do wonders in life. This too Shall pass!!

[@reitanying9967]

This video is a living proof of 'quantum entanglement ' between Shivin Sir and the emotions of all the Aspirants. Coming across this video at this crossroads of my life is like the universe is telling me, "you're almost there buddy ,you're almost there". In this odyssey of race against time ,the recurrent feeling that everything is slipping away and you still have to prove your worth is unfathomable. The "spotlight " reference must be the reason for that I suppose. SHIVIN SIR ,I can't thank you enough for how much you do for us, thank you so much for being ' there ' ' just there' for us, thank you.

[@Layla_Robinson.]

Summary of the video : 1. Have a study group : offline or online . 2. Avoid social media 3. Walks 4. Call one person: Dont talk about exams 5. Dance for 10 min before sleeping or after waking up . Thank You , Sir .

[@ritishaverma5139]

This is for me and myself to heal and to accept that I'm not alone in this race, i have several vulnerabilities and they are Fear of missing out on college life and being disconnected from people. Not being able to relate to their experiences from college or workplace and having inferiority complex. Putting on a lot of weight due to sitting at the table for long hours, having issues with my monthly cycles, having mental health issues, physical health issues and most importantly having no one to talk to about all this. Everyone around me is busy in their own lives and tackling with their own problems but here i am having the fear of maybe losing in this exam, having no one to confine into. What if I can't qualify, what if i can't do anything at all in my life I don't want to become a burden on anyone, don't want people to look down on me, i want to make my parents proud, give them a financially and emotionally stable life. But I'm scared, But also I'm proud of the fact that i am able to accept my vulnerabilities and acknowledge them, thank you shivin sir for being a constant guide and support for each one of us.

[@siddhi3778]

Fear of missing out. Not able to stick to the routine. Pressure of being successful. Fear of judging if I failed. Not able to complete my targets on time.

[@as_i-am]

I am vulnerable to - Overthinking any situations In this phase of life I am unemployed I am inconsistent in my study and I lack self control I am studying but I feel I can do alot better than me , I am not able to do what's my potential are I runaway from hardwork But I am happy atleat I am going in right direction of life Learning from my mistakes !

[@swatisoni526]

Same here dear I am also overthinker and it depressed me all time but one day good day come God with us ❤

[@MonikaDaddarwal]

And here we feel seen, valued, and understood:) thank you for your act of love, Shivin.

[@Clarityofconcepts]

To all who are having hard time: Don’t get stuck in the cycle of failing again and again. Just congratulate yourself for completing daily tasks. You are completing it for your peace of mind not to clear upsc. Put a timer of 5 mins n start doing small tasks you will feel very confident. It works. Yes I’m having meltdowns also. I have made a mistake of talking to a new person n it affected my prep

[@Kirtisharawat]

Shivin sir whenever u say na...that m with u...I m not going anywhere...this literally give goosebumps...and a sense of satisfaction...thank u for being there

[@01Devanshii01]

Thanku for talking about mental health so openly. You are a blessing to upsc ppl. ❤ I feel like i am not good enough for this exam all the time. No matter how much i study, it feels like its just not enough! Constantly feeling guilty about not caring for my health. My periods are getting delayed. Maybe its the stress idk. Even if i try to reconnect with ppl only thing they want to talk about is upsc and when i am going to make it. It just makes me so irritated that apart from this exam i have no identity now. Constant FOMO of losing out on other potential areas i could have tried or worked upon. Even indulging in hobbies makes me anxious. Theres is this constant voice in my head which says i think you are not giving it your all while all that is left in my life is UPSC. I have left social media a long time ago and now whenever i try to go back on it, it just feels like an overstimulation to my brain....like i cant handle so many ppl at the same time....same thing when i go out. I have made my life so boring every little thing overstimulates me. I hope we all make it in life❤ All the best!

[@ManishKumar-ei9ze]

When you said i am proud of you i felt like no one said this to me my life till now eyes are full of tears right now thank you ....

[@Bhardwajkriti02]

My insecurities: 1. Is the path or steps I'm taking for the exam correct?? 2. I don't have good friends.. 3. Regreting past missed opportunities. 4. What if I fail in every sphere of my life. 5. People will leave me and I'll stay lonely as I'm not socializing due to the preparation. 6. Not being independent especially financially.

[@Anonymousme-1s]

My feelings are really unheard sir Having the most supportive parents who've never pressurized me but i know what they are expecting from me and guilt of not being able to achieve it Having no friends Had a lot running in my mind about my decisions but no one to guide cant ask my parents because they believe i can manage and i couldn't shatter their beliefs Not able to concentrate on my self always trying to please people......always getting hurt Having the worst phase of physical health in my 22 years of life Thanq sir for letting me burst out....life is very hard since last 4 months but i believe i can get through and thanq for being the suportive hand to bring me out of it

[@DeafFrog69]

1:42 This spotlight effect is so relatable to me 😭😭 My vulnerabilities : Unable to complete my daily study targets....which makes me a lot irritated...infact I get so angry that I start hitting somewhere and after that I keep on crying with a rush of thoughts in my mind....like whyy mee...when will I get out of it...when will I be able to restart a normal life...will I be even able to achieve all my dreams in the time period which I have thought of....I fear that what if I'm unable to reach my goal in that time period...I stopped going out...left my gym..lost all my gains...I feel if I go out now..people will ask me hundreds of question...they'll judge me..left talking to my friends...even my girlfriend 😭😭...I miss her....there r many more things which I'm unable to describe...I just want my life to get better soon 🙏

[@adityapancholi98]

I don't know meri comment koi padhega ya nahi but when I feel like that then I constantly remind myself that meri soch mere thoughts meri jagah se kafi badi hai ye zindagi ❤❤friends I know it's Lil bit difficult but remember we can't control all but we can control the thought that we can control all the things... accept the life as shivin said enjoy the life with dance singing and meeting other people..thank you❤❤

[@shashiprabha8535]

I have read ur comment 😊

[@-A-AbhishekGarg]

There are problems : I usually Watch Bad videos (then do that bad activity )when alone , in between studies too. I don't know why , negativity attracts me while I am alone. I will do a morning walk from tomorrow morning, may it give me the positivity of nature.

[@tusharbanerjea1602]

I do understand what you're going through my friend. Hold yourself together and value your sanity...God be with you.

[@ABHI87462]

Same💯💯

[@neffex76]

take action , maybe move out for preparation

[@utkarshpathak8268]

There’s no such thing as bad videos. You’re just not meant for studying. Here you’re listening advices of shivin, who himself was a product of his environmental factors. He was a studious guy, he did not decide it, his parents and environmental conditions did. But you are a different case.

[@sourav_Kumar_singh]

There is nothing called bad activity. Don't feel guilt of it , it is normal , you are not alone

[@Jai_siyaRam.719]

You spoke my heart out! When I see my school friends or for that matter my siblings make the most out of their careers, being busy in their lives, I feel left out. I'm neither jealous nor have any complaints, it's their journey they are supposed to live their lives as they wish. But I feel I am missing out in life, people don't really see me in their shoes, sometimes I crave attention more importantly "Importance" in their lives, it makes me feel that they have moved on, not just in their lives but also in terms of friendships & relationships, they don't look backwards also what I'm trying hard to accept is that, people treat you on the basis of your success, unless you prove your worth no one is spending an hour with you. Well for me, that really evolved me as a person, I have become more humble and have stopped complaining about people. I'll sum up to say, that being a good human is tough, it costs you dearer. Loneliness is inevitable, I agree 100%!

[@Ravi-ne4cc]

Your words are too the point 😢

[@Human-you]

I always doubt myself and my strength, becuase I left my job and not achieved much in my life. But still I challenge myself to perform better everyday. Just keep going guys emotions are like our carcedian cycle, so concentrating on it drags us back. I'm manifesting that I'll become the stronger version of myself in this journey of UPSC. Thank you SHIVIN sir, without you my preparation would be a scattered one, now it's organized to the extent that I'm more confident of clearing UPSC 2024.

[@ShivangiVashishth]

Not just for competitive exams- it's a larger, deeper societal issue. Not everyone can even understand it. Thanks for talking sense. Appreciate it.

[@apurvasingh2284]

Keeping the entire video aside. "I am going nowhere" is the only thing that I need. You are the only person whose advice I take seriously in the context of this exam. Thank you!

[@Sky-oy8zm]

My biggest vulnerability is also being lonely , and that too to such a level that I sometimes get minor panic attacks and recurrent episodes of crying! All of these started when suddenly I changed my plan from taking a drop for UPSC to joining for Masters in Clinical Psychology! I was alloted a single room. I am an extremely talkative person and really need someone to speak to and besides me. But suddenly when I got so alone it started getting uncomfortable! Going to sleep alone, eating alone, waking up alone! It was all getting too much! Besides my other entrance exams and semester exams were also coming closer! I didn't have time to mingle with others in hostel neither had time to relax or chill. I got so burnt out, that I literally started crying like hell! And I legit wanted to end my life! I literally ran off leaving my degree then and there and got home! The relief I got can't be matched even by heaven! It was really the most traumatizing event of my life! It still haunts me to my core and make me feel really worthless, like what will I do in my life? How will I ever work in areas where I have to live without my family? Due to this insecurity I even changed my dream from Indian Foreign Services to Indian Administrative Service so that at least I'll live near my family or at least I'll be able to reach them quickly and frequently as compared to living in abroad! I used to think that this is only happening to me, but as I got to know that every other person entering adulthood is experiencing this made me feel, that I'm being understood deeply and that I'm not alone in this journey! I now know that this shall pass and that happy times are coming! I literally backspaced 10-15 times before writing this! Because the pain, the vulnerabilities are way too painful and also vague that I didn't even understand how to start!

[@Craxx2503]

I am insecure about my mood swings, not carrying valuable achievement like iit, IIM and no work experience. I am 27 years old insecure about not achieving my dream and marrying to random person. I am afraid of failures. I feel insecure whenever I feel uncertainty. Recently I adopted some habits - 😊I started sharing my experiences with friends.I am thankful I have very good friends who patiently listen me always never drop my call without making me feel worth living. 😊I do yoga for 20 min , mediation 5 min, Chanting 10 min Really it makes me calm. But I promise I would fight all insecurities I would improve myself whatever flaws I have i accept and I am enough for myself ❤ Thank you sir❤

[@surbhi9882]

U are talking about me sir..today i got clarity. Saving this video so that whenever i feel lonely i will get motivated that i am not alone

[@user-ps6ln3gy3o]

Hey Shivin. I was a national football player. But maine exam ki wajah se football khelna chodd diya tha. But maine iss attempt se waapis football khelna shuru qiya har Saturday. Ab mera mood kaafi sahi rehta h and kaafi khushi milti h mujhe. Issey mujhe kaafi help hui h loneliness overcome karne mein. Btw thanks for covering this topic Arteta. ( from Messi fan).

[@shikhartrivedi3378]

Ya man, play and live. And prepare simultaneously. Messi fan too😅

[@MadhuRani12890]

Mujhe dr lgta h agr time pr ni hua byah di jaungi or papa o proud feel ni krwa paungi, kisi v competitive exam dekr ati hu or papa ka swal ho jayga na mera confidence km kr deti, or isliy mai apne ghr k 3rd floor wale balkni ko hi apni study room or duniya bnay huye pure- pure din ni niklti hu

[@DEVRAJSINGHRANA]

Most appropriate dealing with the problem ❤ A big salute to you sister❤

[@khushboosharma6461]

Omg... What a timing.... Thank you so much... Mental health is much needed... I m getting self doubt alot.. Seeing my friend doing pg, busy in hospital,... During holi i was in my zone only ..reading .. My friend called but later i regret talking to her... Felt i m lagging behind.. Feeling devastated... Thanks for advice sir...

[@SanjeevKumar-nf6is]

Exactly Same is happening with me, I'm feeling so lonely even I gave mains this year in my first attempt but after the result my mental health is something different which is inclined towards negativity now

[@sumanabbasi486]

As you have mentioned pausing the video and jotting down an entire vent. Here it goes: to say that I'm scared would be an understatement . The uncertainty is killing me. I've always been someone who had championed career growth over anything else. I haven't told anyone about my preparation. And people's constant questioning and nagging about how I'm wasting my prime doing "nothing" or what I'm up to is so annoying. I'm completely devasted/ isolated. I have even stopped meeting immediate family. M shit scared of failure n torn between two choices, whether to try my luck in competitive exams or to pursue my respective field. So, i can resonate with each and every word of yours sir.

[@janhavi7819]

My vulnerabilities; feeling like I might loose onto friendships and relationships, sometimes feeling guilty of not being there for others despite of wanting to be there for them, fearing that what if this doesn’t work out and all those sacrifices go in vain. Anyway, you are such a kind soul. May Almighty bless you with lots of abundance, peace and love! 😇

[@swaneetmishra9212]

Yes sir. Definitely negative things always comes in our way but we have to ignore those things and focus on positive part..

[@MohitKumar09]

Honestly telling, reaching you is one of the best thing happened to me in this journey of UPSC Shivin Sir... Mentor in exam to Guide in this whole journey.. Too grateful.. Thanks for always being here..

[@omi2715]

I'm facing the same. I'm 26 yrs old. And not working yet.when I see my frds working, and supporting their parents financially I feel low that I'm 26 and have not achieved anything major in my life. Overthinking impacts my productivity. I do preparation from my home so I get distracted most of the time. I was having a study partner with whom I managed to cover 2 subjects in 1.5 month. But afterwards he started delaying the targets so now doing my prep on my own. Sometimes I feel like I should start doing job but than it's difficult for me to take this decision bcz it's my dream to be a officer. I fight everyday in a ray of hope that one day I'll make my dream come true.

[@BlessyR-ct5pw]

Biggest shoutout to you for this video🤩 It is a deeply heartfelt and profoundly thoughtful one. It radiates your empathy and the quality of self work you have done. More power to you💯

[@Roshhh29]

💯💙

[@anushkajain9842]

What an inspiration you are sir . I am myself a doctor currently pursuing my internship in India's topmost colleges . Even i am interested in full time teaching, less interested in medical field . I realise the importance of having mental health issues soo much . Hoping to work towards these things and help myself grow .

[@Someone_unknown_for_you]

This video and the comments were very much needed to tell me that I m not the only one who is going through it. This man has got the solution to almost all the problems that I face. ❤ ❤ You are indeed a Doctor by heart. 😊

[@astikshandilya6980]

I was feeling this loneliness and social cut out from my friends. Was struggling with this problem from many days and fighting too. Thank you sir for this video. It will help us and many future aspirants.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@rituparnapathak1401]

1. Don't have consistency. 2. Feeling loneliness. 3. Self doubt what are doing in my life right or not?

[@poetictriangle1037]

I am turning 27 this year, i remember being really confident and ambitious before this preparation journey, i felt i could achieve anything in life but now i feel really uncertain about my future and kind of insecure due to constantly failing weekly targets, i have tried talking to friends , dating, talking to family , going out ,etc but none of it really works in the long run because eventually i am by myself alone sitting in a table with the thoughts of all my past failures. I think the only way i am ever going to be confident again is if i meet the standards i've put for myself or change the definition of my success itself. Whatever it is i am not gonna give up ,i don't care what happens to me anymore but i am going to fight till my last breath.

[@dheerajparashar]

24 year of age preparing for compitition exam Earning nothing Mere vese bhi 2 3 hi dhost the or un logo ne bhi bhat karna chod diya Call karta bhi hu to call pick nahi karte Par jab bhi unko mere se help chahiye to turant call kar dete hai Ghar par bhi sab log kahne lag gaye ji koi bhi job kar lo ab Bahot bura lagta hai apne sapno ko khatam hote hue dekhte hue Lonely, depressed . Padai me dyan hi nahi jata 8 hr padta bhi hu to usme effectively 3-4 hr hoti hai Mere sare friends private job kar rahe hai Kisi se bhat share bhi karna chahu to vo call nahi pick karte msg seen nahi karte Itni mehnat karne ke bhad me bbi lagta hai kitna bekar hu m

[@schweebs]

I am a JEE student and I feel like I took this decision on my own will. I wasnt forced into it, however I am vulnerable about the fact that if I didnt make it, all the onus of failure will fall on me. I cannot make eye contact with my parents or my relatives if I get a shit college. In my coaching I feel like a loser who cannot solve basic questions and my peers are far better snd superior than me. I recently switched my batch into a more competitive one and the anxiety of sitting in the class sky rocketed, I am not in my comfort zone. I also wrote this piece recently: I cannot ooze a tear, My eyes don't wet. Is it worth myself? I lost him. Sumeet is no more. A wounded toy, Plans at night, Fails tomorrow. I am on a rut. How am I here? How did this turn? I have molded him. Guilt has now Been connected to joy. For every wander I disdain him. Was it really worth myself? Will it be an Arrival fallacy? This isn't the world I was told it will be. This isn't what I told I was. My core has been shaken, References destroyed. What I toured Was a lie. I walked miles, It was useless. I cannot cessate him, He speaks, and Entangles him, himself. Was it really worth myself? Recursion and Confusion ensues me. This loneliness Cannot be hidden. It was always veiled, It was a pretense. I cannot act. I am in a stalemate. Will there be a day I befriend someone, Without him poking? Will there be a day Where I will Just be? Couldrons of Emotions brew, He acts hastily, Tightens the lid. I will wake once again, For tomorrow it won't be A rut ever again.

[@bhagyashreetamhane4766]

Everything will be alright. Don't lose hope 😊

[@sobiarasheed5387]

Not consistent , not giving my 100 percent. Watching reels to fell good but it further deteriorates my mood and made me feel miserable and guilty of passing time and another day. Not doing any physical exercise Not earning and not able to contribute positively in the lives of my parents and siblings

[@AbhishekSingh-lk5wj]

Don't watch reels for feeling good, it can't make you feel good, instead of this, try to do some physical exercise, try to learn something new like piano or dance that will make you happy. Cut off all your social handles it's really a great relief

[@divyasingh9888]

Thank you Sir for bringing this out, till this video i was thinking that i am struggling alone,i have only such problems others aspirants are doing good. But todays comments opened my eyes as other people vulnerabilities, problems are also similar with me.. I am not alone with this thoughts and daily struggles..

[@kshitijasawant4907]

I feel insecure because of constant fomo that my friends are in better place earning, traveling, enjoying. Also I have insecurity about my health. Also I appreciate the efforts that you put in for us. Really you are doing a great job sir . Thank you.

[@makkzzy]

A short yet insightful video sir. You were so on point when you explained how we keep our vulnerabilities closed up only to lash out at someone who even touches upon those insecurities, with probably no intention of hurting us. We tend to build a whole negative echo chamber within ourselves and end up thinking that others too have the same negative opinion about us. This hit so close to home that I started crying. It has been a major reason why I have had a difficult relationship with my parents ever since I started preparing.

[@Keer1595]

It's 2021 i am in last semester of my engineering and I have already joined upsc coaching.. studying 10 hours a day.. imagining i am far ahead in my race and by 2023 I'll be an IAS officer Fast forward to today No.. i am not ahead of my race... i was delul in my own space.... far away from reality... struggling to study even 5 hours...lost my campus placement... having friends completing their masters.... feeling lost..! Sometimes i think why did I even start.. I can't even remember just burned out by this rat race

[@misguidedmissile92]

Although cutting off from friends is what most of the people do while preparing, but I had always thought that I'll never do that. I kept in touch with atleast 2-3 friends. We used to talk atleast once a week, but with time I've realised that it's hard to keep in touch because the other person always wants to talk according to their convenience.It's like they will never be available to you when you need them ,but want you to be always available for them. I've decided that it's better to be alone than to be in touch with these kind of people. That's why I talk to my mum, my sister whenever I fell lonely and I Journal what I can't share with even them.The point is to just let the stress out you can do it by writing as well.

[@poetictriangle1037]

Same issue

[@misguidedmissile92]

@@poetictriangle1037 atleast someone can relate

[@iasmeghakotak8595]

I am also Vulnerable about... Am I making right choices in major decisions of my life This is one of the biggest hurdle in my prepration along with loneliness

[@knowledge256]

Yes this is happening to me right now lonely...and seeing my age people growing in their life make me sad and lovely..i will try your all solution as much as i can

[@adiyogi963]

My vulnerabilities: I just turned 23 last month, I also feel I'm getting old. 1) Second guessing my thoughts about my choices in life - UPSC prep while all my peers chose something that is giving them instant gratification and results. 2) Feeling that my life is black and white while everyone else's around me is living a colorful life. 3) Questioning whether all the efforts and hardwork is really worth it. 4) Feeling stuck at a place between 4 walls studying without much progress or measurable outcomes/results. 5) Feeling lonely but not able to meet with old friends also.

[@ashitoshshegade4487]

true sometimes i feel same

[@ayushigupta6271]

Same even I too facing the same

[@modernprince_01]

"You are alone, because of your circumstances. But being lonely is only about mindset. Work on yourself!! "

[@abhishekgupta1385]

Dhanyavaad sir dil se.. Radhe-Radhe❤❤ God is always with me...❣

[@manishapurty2585]

Thanks.. And Seriously its real problem of our generation.

[@Upscy2023]

Strategy video toh boht dekhi hai but never knew such kind of videos were reqd by me. Thank you shivin sir for being so honest. It's so hard to open up, show your vulnerabilities. Thank you so much❤❤

[@Devikadevu2]

Sir it is such a great attempt to talk about loneliness during preparation. I talked about my loneliness to people around and they replied you feel loneliness because you lack concentration in studies and why can't you be alone during entire preparation.

[@chinmayeepanda2379]

I feel like I have done nothing in my life till now. I feel that I don't have what it takes to crack this exam. There's a lot of thoughts in my head which puts a pressure on me to turn my life around. I let go of easy opportunities to do this and now it has gotten extremely difficult to even survive till the exam. Each day I don't perform, I feel like I have lost the chance of clearing. Every mistake I make makes me feel like I am behind in the race. I don't have the energy in me left to even say these things out loud.

[@LastminutePreparation20]

Thanks sir! I think your motivation is much needed for students like us than being in service with constant pressure.(Although it's your decision to make) Mostly before prelims it gets harder and your motivation is a relief. You make us confident.

[@Mohitrodge]

Thanks shivin for this

[@kshitij_90]

One stop solution for Mental health and fatigue which worked for me is do any sports activities like swimming, Tennis, Horse riding, cricket etc etc but keeping in mind to not waste time there for chitchatting with people around.

[@simmaramya8458]

I can literally relate to every single thing you have talked about. CSE prep is a rollercoaster of emotions which we need to suppress a lot to be consistent. But I think,we all learn something during the process,it changes our perception of life. For me it makes me feel grounded and notice the little things around to be grateful for. It make strong personalities. It's impressive of you to share your vulnerabilities where we even can't share them to our very own family members. Here I'm sharing a small thing of my life ,how these things hurt us on a daily basis-Since I'm not earning, I'm insecure to ask for everything I need. I want to go for Kuchipudi classes, to imbibe the feeling that I'm achieving one of my wishes, which I can't afford on my own and too shy to ask for it. It adds up to the loneliness hurting further. I'm happy to see you recommending dance. One thing I would recommend is journaling. I've been writing for a few days,making me feel better that I can share those unheard thoughts. Many don't have friends who are interested in talking let alone listening to , so I think this might help.

[@Pramit-we9ok]

I am vulnerable to 1. Managing time for fellowship and the prep 2. Not taking out time for exercise, friends 3. Not having visited my hometown for 6 yrs and slowly missing out on many people I knew 4. Worrying about wrapping up syllabus and then revising it

[@sapnewapne]

Not preparing for upsc but something else and this video just brought everything in my mind to an mp4 format. ❤

[@prashant6512]

Mujhe lgta tha sirf mujhe hi ye sb feel hota hai😢😢😢

[@manish5355]

Great POV by Sir , It is the first time i am seeing this guy but the issue raised by sir is genuine and the content is to the point . For me loneliness is more due to the incompatibility of me being genuine when it comes to this aspect as I feel insecure and anxious about it . Even though I am quite good at socializing but still the problem is not getting solved as most of this event revolves around the ingenuine topic that doesn't help you getting over this vulnerability.

[@hipawan]

Thank you for asking this.... I felt very calm after watching this video.😊

[@anshugupta8818]

Thnk you sir for being part of our journey. We really felt it during our preparation. You just strengthen our preparation with your powerful words.

[@nisharamesh2500]

Needed this at the right time! Thank you so much sir for this video

[@goat13444]

Feeling of being unheard...no one to listen the struggle n hustle ...n through what i m going ...thank u sir for always being there.....

[@abhishekrana7005]

Gym zao aur phir pura din yehi sochte hue bita doge ki protein intake kaise pura kare . Physical pain will make emotional pain go away

[@juliasharma840]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@grandeur777]

I hope we all could meet and reassure eachother. There're so many similarities in our journey. Bless you all. I really hope we all succeed in our lives. I genuinely do!

[@jayashreesalunkhe8408]

1. For the past one week i saw my productivity in studies go down a bit and felt guilty about it. 2. I and my family will be shifting from our current residence to a new place and i am not being able to contribute to the journey of buildind a home with my family. 3. I am the elder daughter of the family and unemployed. 4. My body weight has gone up a bit and i performed bad at my jog the other day.