Manipulate the Narcissist and Live to Tell About It? (Lecture in Budapest)

Manipulate the Narcissist and Live to Tell About It?
Lecture in Budapest, February 2020
Original posted here: • Sam Vaknin's lecture i...

[@mlhappysunrise]

1. No contact 2. Gray rock 3. Deflection 4. Mirroring 5. Shared psychosis 6. Provide calibrated, reasonable, high-grade narcissistic supply 7. Withholding/intermittent reinforcement

[@agapuzio3056]

Thank you

[@debbibobetty5620]

Thank you for capitalating that for me, I wish they would have done like the UN and just put on a translator headset. I enjoy Sam but I don't want to sit through the translation part, too much time wasted. I am a Virgo I have my ways thank you good day

[@WakingAngels]

Prof. Sam PLEASE do a video on working with the EX Narc. There are none. How does one do no contact at work 😳😕?

[@jeaninespiritkeeperthomas9846]

Professor Vaknin, Would these techniques be beneficial when the narcissists are your in-laws and stepchild? The stepchild, who is pathological narcissist influences the narcissistic Mother-in-law who ALWAYS does /gives whatever my stepchild wants.

[@WakingAngels]

@@nikoseen brilliant reply 💛

[@dama2614]

THE NARCISSIST'S PRAYER: That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did... You deserved it!

[@kcole5177]

👊💥💯😖😩. SMH. FACTS

[@kyoko029]

And if it did... Why didn't you do something about it? It was your problem, not mine.

[@karunagopee8142]

Love this talk👋👋👋

[@shydebhar]

😢

[@somethingginterestingg4275]

Sounds a lot like Donald Trump

[@pipiwilson7854]

To anyone who is reading this..YOU may not think you are strong enough or brave enough to leave, but that's not important right now. Action is. Educating yourself is a huge step. Absorb all the information you can and listen to that little voice in your heart that is begging to be heard. Denial is not your friend. Hear your voice. Love is beautiful. I've walked on eggshells and feared life without the person who did everything in his power to destroy my being. It's NOT easy but it's possible. You will forever be changed but life is too short and beautiful to waste away. Feeling proud and great will come with time. Your sanity and safety is too precious to lose. Hang in there and give yourself the love you deserve 💕💕💕

[@amber3368]

Thank you

[@alessandra767]

Thank you for these words

[@gracetrindade6335]

@@wonderfulwenna2710 Be strong.Heads up .March fourth Mas don't forget....precaution.....

[@mekimekim5758]

Thank you for the encouragement and God bless you in all your future endeavors

[@DLJDanielleJordan]

thank you x

[@JustBeREAL1st]

60 days no contact and I pray I never meet another one.

[@bustadance]

I don't know you but I pray that God blesses you abundantly!

[@JustBeREAL1st]

karmacologist you as well thank you

[@anitavirginillo]

At least now you will be able to spot one early on!

[@the1law500]

I'm so paranoid with everyone even just making friends. I have some family and literally one friend left from the 7 yrs with my ex.

[@redtigerlily8165]

They are all over but after gaining awareness you have an idea how to deal with them

[@perfectwisdom3303]

This makes perfect sense. That's why they are so hard to understand. They are not the person they were a minute ago. They have memory loss. So we are surprised every time we deal with them.

[@helenasplace]

We truly are indeed

[@bslayedbellydance]

I was in a fight with mine today and I’m like yooo what is your problem you we’re literally just fine I’m fucking confused 🤷‍♀️

[@breannajoyal5201]

@@AlmaVasquezjr I've called my narc husband an idiot too. They don't understand. It's probably the "meanest" thing I've ever said. I was hoping it would wake him up, but it didn't. Mine is cleaning and cooking too now that I am distancing myself physically, emotionally, etc...I don't want the love bombing. I don't like it. It's all used against us! He never gives a genuine apology, so it's like he's bribing me to forget all of the abuse. He actually won't let me in the kitchen sometimes. He will stand in front of the sink on his phone for an hour and tell me he "needs" to do the dishes and that he doesn't want me to do the dishes because his way is better than mine. He says I don't do the dishes as well as he does.

[@CC-bu2gv]

@@helenasplace it good to admit that your are a narc. Best of luck if you're trying to change!

[@ocheltree1]

It's very sad to know these people are broken yet you can not show sympathy for them. They will eat you alive and delight in your suffering with each bite.

[@user-fn4ov7lo8g]

Wanna speak to a Narcissist?

[@ocheltree1]

@@user-fn4ov7lo8g , I was married to one and we've all been exposed to the one in the White House, why on Earth would I wanna speak to another one?

[@helenasplace]

Yes they will, and they change the game rules every single time

[@ocheltree1]

@@helenasplace , me: "...but yesterday you said X,Y and Z..." the narcissist: "...I never said any such thing, if you listened you'd know what I said. And No, I will not repeat it, if your so stupid (smugly laughing) as to ask, you don't deserve to know." Oh, those were fun times. Hope you escaped, Helena. If not...RUN!!!!

[@belindarobinson9008]

BING🎯

[@LordVautier]

I accidentally tried to help out a narcissist. What a mistake. To get rid of him, I unknowingly took these steps, and I'm just finding out now. Be boring. Ignore them. Don't share anything with them.

[@LOKI77able]

What kind of narcissist was this particular person? A somatic one?

[@virginiaandrade8009]

It's a terrible thing. I was born with an older sister, incredibly intelligent (160 last I heard) and she has turned into a terribly antagonizing narcissist and emotional sadist. It's a pleasure for her to tear people apart merely for the mistake of engaging her or being close. All of this is true. She's bordering onto psychopath from the psychological damage she amuses in raking. I loved her when we were children and she was even my protector as my older sibling. Now it's gone, and there's nothing I can do to help her. This has consumed her and leaves me left to mourn the loss of our sister relationship because she will do nothing but build a shiv from the information you give her to stab you with. But there's nothing you can do.

[@darlenealessio7609]

@@virginiaandrade8009 I well understand, well said,even as a child my sibling younger was antagonistic and found all manipulative ways to tease and drive e to madness he was like a bee, parents would do nothing but say leave your sister alone he continued and they engaged rather in my ultimate lashing out at him in the same way. I was punished he laughed, this I do believe was the beginning of the ultimate end. Everything and everyone was competition esp our parents.

[@helenadamson5542]

I was with many narcissists in my past, coming from 2 narcissistic parents, father a psychopathic narcissist, Mother a covert narcissist, brother also a narcissist. I discovered how to deal with them in an intuitive way, as you have explained Sam. I discarded first, then got sent a present and love-bombing started again. I had zero tolerance for discarding behaviour. It works. Then then I discarded again in all finality.

[@CardCaptorDeadpool]

It's always a great rule of thumb to not disclose things that aught not be shared. Keeping our cards to our chest helps us.

[@jensbasement3862]

Don't let the narcissist convince you that they are owed your core energy

[@longstoryshort8657]

🙏👍

[@imatubewatcha]

If you choose to stay in a relationship with a narcissist you can't ever be your true self. You'll always have to play the part that coincides with the snapshot he has otherwise you'll be rejected. To live in constant fear of rejection and to never be accepted for the complex person I am is intolerable to me. I'd rather face the rejection and get past it and him!

[@ANANDALEEMA]

Yes, it is terrible. who are in a relationship with a narcissist all I can say is leave as soon as you can. is always better.

[@brigettesweet2464]

He will discard you, in the end, regardless. You are not in a relationship. You are already alone, but being destroyed and driven insane, as well. I am truly, alone, now. My constant, daily life, of torture and misery, are finally, over. I am alone. Alone is the only happiness I have known in 17 years.

[@brigettesweet2464]

@@imago9059 I agree. I realize I am not at fault. However, I had no boundaries. I had no idea what boundaries were and just how absolutely necessary they are, in any relationship. Also, the first time you accept abuse behavior, FROM ANY PERSON, you are telling them that you will accept their abuse. Even though I would tell him that this will not ever be tolerated again. He heard, "she has given me permission to abuse her. I don't care what she says anyway!!" I tolerated abuse. Again and again. Becayse I listened to his lying words and ridiculous excuses and believed it when he told me that I am to be blamed, for all things. I had such low self esteem. I no longer trusted my own instincts. I believed I was insane I am not healed. I still doubt myself, daily. I will always have low self esteem. I believe I may be ruined for life. That is a lot of years to be mentally abused, emotionally and physically, as well. The mental torture, lies, gaslighting. Those things are not going away. I've been in therapy for a year. I am not better. I do have boundaries now. You get one chance. Friend, neighbor, co worker. One chance. If you mess with my head. I cut them out of my life instantly. It sounds cruel. But it will save your life.

[@blessed74God]

Right on!!

[@kdub3892]

@@brigettesweet2464 soon this will be my fate

[@Livvy925]

As someone that can't call herself a survivor of narcissism because I am STILL trying to survive, this is a "DROP THE MIC" lecture.

[@whatarefriends4]

This is healing me with information

[@Livvy925]

@Venetta Thomas Thank you so much!!! Yes I am little by little. I got a call from him from a "fake" app number. As soon as I heard his voice, which sounded like a 12 y.o. child. I hung up!!! Dr. Vaknin said they are never emotionally over 12 y.o.. And to run!!!!

[@brigettesweet2464]

@@Livvy925 Oh, I have a lifetime of, unwanted, wisdom, on all the "prank call/text" apps. My narc is probably about 4 years old, with tantrums, throwing objects. Why they are so dangerous, is because they are a toddler, in a grown up body, one that could snap my neck, in one second, during a temper tantrum. I am no contact, but in this day and age, it is almost impossible, to disappear. I have moved across the continent, but the internet, and their love of trolling the internet, has brought him back, over and over and over. I have no more social media. But it is a never ending nightmare.

[@Livvy925]

@@brigettesweet2464 I am sending you sweet peace because I know it can be a never ending nightmare.

[@chadqudrot7525]

God bless your journey 🙏 I feel the same way!

[@scampbell3207]

Only one word should come to mind when faced with a narcissist - RUN!

[@user-fn4ov7lo8g]

Wanna speak to a Narcissist?

[@user-fn4ov7lo8g]

Wanna speak to a Narcissist?

[@LOKI77able]

Even when faced with a somatic narcissist?

[@brigettesweet2464]

If only I had even known...16 years ago? Would I have believed it even possible? I was so, absolutely oblivious. I wish I was still oblivious. The reality of the depths of depravity and blackness, that are, the Malignant Narcissist, are almost, unbearable, to comprehend.

[@brigettesweet2464]

@@user-fn4ov7lo8g Why?. I would be speaking to a black hole. I have had much better conversations, with my vacuum cleaner.

[@ariacane8421]

Scary how accurately he describes how an intimate partner perceives the narcissist! I often asked myself: Who is he really? Is he a ghost? Is he evil? Is he a child? Does he have multiple personalities? Am I dealing with a mirror who is merely reacting...

[@sue3807]

He’s brilliant!!

[@JP-bc6wk]

@Emma Goldman how?

[@JP-bc6wk]

@Emma Goldman im done with that but i lost my career

[@JP-bc6wk]

@Emma Goldman my father is a toxic parent he was the flying monkey

[@inezyard]

Genius.

[@sonialemmer1]

My poor husband is a Narc, because his mother ruled and abused him as a baby and she nearly broke up my marriage. My parents were Both NARCS. By God’s Grace I’m still alive after 52 operations in 65 years. I have a very powerful Testimony as a Christian Soli Deo Gloria!🙏🙌. Thank you very much Proffesore Sam.

[@pusitegasupovci8600]

8 rules of the narc club. No contact no contact no contact no contact no contact no contact no contact no contact.

[@bfisherful]

Precisely.

[@BrightAura777]

Might I add ... no contact 😌

[@laurabriese9506]

Yes and change your name.

[@thesouljournerstarot6678]

You say this because you do not understand these people you label as "narc." Apparently, neither does this lecturer.

[@lrajic8281]

Rule 9: do not tell narcissist what you are doing. Like rule 2 of "Fight Club".

[@jeanetteswain1760]

Thank you Sam. It's scary but true. What I did not know is how aware the narc is of his condition. I have been with a Covert and Overt Narc. The Covert Narc is far more crafty and if you listen, they will both tell you what and who they are. I did not know this.

[@davidslocum9536]

Agreed!!!

[@racineburke2561]

I can relate to the Covert Narc he was very very very crafty and he use my faith as a door way to really prey on me. But the Empath in me prevailed the first sign of nice to serious verbal aggression, I was out of there so fast. Now I continue to watch these videos so I don't get myself in shit again.

[@JesusAlvarez-md9px]

Horrifically eloquent. Loved this one of a kind lecture.

[@neilog747]

Horrifically eloquent - love it. Spot on.

[@HelenMurray00]

Cool. I get it. I chose the blue pill. Now I choose the red. I will forgive and more importantly, I will forget. I will not be a survivor, or a victim. Forget that. I am awake. I choose.

[@longstoryshort8657]

🙏👍

[@amazonadireitistaearmada7722]

Yup :)

[@tete-a-tetewithtuhina7138]

This is eerie. I have always suspected that my relationship with my husband hasn't been anywhere close to normal and that he is a narcissist. Since there is no formal diagnosis for this in India (I could be wrong too) and specially because he refuses to go to a psychologist, I have never been able to be sure of it. Prof Sam's deep diving into a narcissists mind is so eerily close to my husband's behavior that its not even funny. I am not kidding. Almost every behavioral pattern described herein resonated.

[@Lina-ok6zr]

May I suggest Dr. Ramani‘s KZbin channel :) she saved my peace of mind According to her it doesn’t matter if a narcissist is officially diagnosed. If he exhibits narcissistic behaviour that’s enough to go by.

[@annbraden2666]

I am going to watch this over and over! This is the best content EVER..thank you, Sam!

[@carolsaldana546]

Me too!😞

[@ericcca_]

@@carolsaldana546 gosh, can you please translate this to text? how i hate the translator behind the Sam, my nature language is spanish, and I understand a few english, but god, how I hate the guy behind, grasp he is necesary hahahah but aghhhh i hate the slowly conference, LOL

[@gerardagrapendaal837]

Ann Braden yes the best i agree

[@daivapaukstis1259]

I'll do the same

[@bonniealloway2559]

⁰⁰0 @@carolsaldana546 ?

[@melscotto5330]

I have been with a narcissist for 40 year and am highly empathetic. You don't have to be like them. If you are becoming like them, you can reverse it. They cry out that they are victims. They don't care if they are abusive.

[@johngaulding3710]

Been with mine for 34 years. I'm not becoming like her on the inside, just on the outside. Videoing her disgusting abuse has given me leverage against her. Fear of exposure has been a tool in my box. We will be divorced soon and we both know it. Knowing to expect nothing has been a blessing in disguise. It has given me freedom to discard her as the trash she is. Being 55 and starting over has become more and more inviting even though my life is beautiful except for her. I have survived and have become completely at peace with myself knowing I wasn't the problem at all. It was her all along. Thank you for your comment. There are not many like us who lasted this long and are still mentally intact.

[@melscotto5330]

@@johngaulding3710 Congratulations on advancing to your newest growth period. Someone advised to learn from the narcissist abuse era rather than be victimized by it. I observed all of the tricks of control. There is peace of mind for being away from these people. Mine came from music and race walking in a beautiful park. I would say take it one step at a time, live in the moment, breathe 10 times deep whenever you decide and say, "Trust God."

[@paulimarhiagbe6218]

I agree with you that you do not have to be like them. I am still married to a narcissist and we know soon we will divorce. It has not stopped me been an empath in fact have become more empath to everyone more and this disgust her. I sleep as normal, do not insult like her. I ignore her and rationally do those things she request after reflecting on it.

[@melscotto5330]

@@paulimarhiagbe6218 Bravo. That's beautiful. The perfect way for a human being is to learn from the difficulty and instinctively spot people like that while still being empathetic. As long as they see your goodness, they will continue to attack because their quest is to destroy the human spirit. They don't deserve to see your connection to pure spirit. It's best to just disconnect quietly.

[@oginza]

15:00 Gray Rock 16:30 Deflection 17:50 Mirroring 21:30 Shared psychosis 24:47 Calibrated supply 28:00 Withholding 36:15 Second Part

[@oginza]

38:06 Narcs are victims and wants you to join them. If you don't, you are an alien to them (outside their comfort zone). 1:15:16 Cold Empathy 1:18:06 Don't show Narc any emotion, it will be used against you!

[@candygirlcan]

Thank you so much for this! 🤗

[@dudebromisterjake]

Man. Not to stroke any egos or anything. But the amount self-awareness it must take to go up there and say those things about narcissism AS a narcissist, is beyond my comprehension. Like imagine being nothing and being aware of it.

[@halinatv883]

This is an absolutely brilliant speech, a perfect compedium of reliable and unadulterated knowledge. I've been looking for this for a long time. Most of the so-called guides and trainers flatten the subject, demonize this personality disorder or even publicly perform exorcisms on them. I finally found the real answers, finally I came closer to understanding the phenomenon and misery that narcissists are marked with for life. Thank you very much Prof. Sam Vaknin for - a clear, mature, hellishly interesting, full of great sense of humor - introduction to your world.🌷

[@hazelmeera5288]

The grayrock technique makes the practitiioner a psychopath . I have noticed children practicing gray rock technique to avoid the narcistic parents rage become completely psychopathic by suppressing every personal emotion known to man in childhood.

[@helenasplace]

Yes @hazel meera It is absolutely horrific. Thank you for describing that. One keeps really really still as if you were almost dead, and yet it doesn’t go away 😭😭

[@gladyskeizer3857]

Seen my goddaughter trying so hard. She is much a victim

[@kdub3892]

Yesss

[@kdub3892]

I fear my sons dad has created a very emotionally suppressed child and now adult. I wish I wouldve gotten him far far away when he was little

[@Neige4444]

Maybe they feel the need to blend into the woodwork or not rock the boat. The parent is teaching them to be this way through negative reinforcement. If they sit quietly and wait to hear their cue that it is time to respond (and they usually know what response is being required of them) they will not be abused, only neglected.

[@ismeellisa3956]

Brilliantly perfect and on point truths. Everything Sam describes in detail is on point factual in my story. It took me back to places that hurt me BUT let me say again BUT. I took the information and re-evaluated every hurtful occurrence in my fake-lationship taking into account evaluations of the hurt that caused the traumatic breaking point in my loves childhood. It made a difference in my understanding when I understood. Then I evaluated my roll in this game of need, want, give and take. What selfish need was it that I desired that I would sacrifice myself, soul and being to attaining what it was that I so desired from this relationship???????WE all form pictures , ideas and dreams to format what it is that WE desire to be and yet how we and the NARC perceive them is different. Because of Sam’s insightful explanations; I can see both sides. Once or twice I was told “hint, hint,” “You are my mother, you are my father, you are my sister, you are my friend, you are my special, my everything.” I believe this. I am a representation of all these people. And yes, pretending to be boring and lifeless does help push the NARC off of you long enough to reward yourself with a few days of stress relief. I have absolutely lost my mind, my home, my time, my jobs, my sleep, who I was and who I am. BUT and I say again BUT, NOW that I know what he is and why he is, I can FORGIVE all BECAUSE I don’t see myself as a victim anymore. I see myself as a participant that was strongly attached to my outcome. It will crush you completely or make you stronger and more determined to love yourself more than any one could ever love you. Don’t look for love from others to fill the void of love you may not feel for yourself. It is self defeating and selfish. “Love thy enemy,” BUT do not let him/her, and or it destroy you. Absolute understanding is your key to freedom. Love yourself.

[@angelafalsetta4309]

Thank you for that! It might help me stop hating, raging and feeling vengeful and this non-stop ruminating! That is only hurting me...NOT THEM and perpetuating the abuse by my own mind onto myself. NC and still abused...by ME! It has to stop...i will never heal this way! TYSM!

[@monamohd9237]

q

[@shanshann2535]

Very well said!

[@laurabriese9506]

Exactly care for yourself

[@usualsuspects42]

Ellisa - I have come to the same conclusion.

[@emmyjune7766]

I ran! Too much empathy in me and not playing games with a cruel nutcase! I remember sitting across from him and thinking no one is home like hollow! Love bombed and I was amazing! Now this made me feel totally healed! I shall right a poem ty 🙏

[@k.a.r.rycroft5094]

Excellent lecture! I work as a caregiver for a person who suffers from this plus failing health, and it is very challenging at times, but a huge lesson as I strive to be professional and not take it personally. I am so thankful that it's not a romantic relationship!!!!

[@Atef-ph6cs]

The future is a narcissistic psychopathic future! I love this comment! Yes there are many people around that show such disorder!

[@AA-lq5pu]

This is by far the best talk I have ever heard on the topic, it hit me to the core, gave me a bit of a shock too. I was in a narcissistic cult known as the Church of Scientology, I experienced and saw in others the narcissistic psychopathic overlay and I can see how it has reduced my empathy somewhat but mainly my ability to trust because I question every new person I meet. Used to be so trusting. But I have learn't that most people are really good and can be trusted, you just have to know who you are dealing with and know how to spot the red flags early on in the game, so initially I don't trust but I come around when I fail to spot the red flags. The overlay has disintegrated but there are still remnants in my personality.

[@jeanetteswain1760]

I am still empathic, but find it very hard to trust. I have been rid of my narc for 3 years, but still suffer from the memory of the abuse experienced.

[@leanna107]

I can relate. I used to be a member of the church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints.

[@crystaljanssen4382]

@@jeanetteswain1760 I left my narc a few months ago and for the past week I have been having dreams or more like nightmares i guess i could call it, but about him putting me through some of the most heartless and cruel things that he did to me on a regular basis. I've been waking up crying. Is this normal? It's like i have to live through the torture over and over again and I'm so sick of it!! This is killing me!! I thought that once i got away from him things would at least start getting better but not so much. I talked to one of my friends the other day who had been in a relationship with a narc b4 and i was telling her some of the terrible messed up things he did to me. She told me that he must have been the worst narc ever bc of how far he took things and the games he played with me. I just want the nightmare to be over! I'm so messed up in the head from all this and Idk what to do about it anymore.

[@philzail2532]

Grey rock works well, they pick up on it real fast.

[@eurokay4755]

My mother and older brother are narcissists. They pick up on gray rock quickly, but that's when the war begins.

[@helenasplace]

@@eurokay4755 Agree

[@Hayhayitsmaay]

🎯

[@pmmarquezify]

The narcissist seems to be a color movie until you realize it's a nightmare that can recur even after they are no longer in your life. Learning all you can about narcissism is just the start of overcoming the abuse, the real healing comes when you take a look inward to deal with your own wounds and learn why you were willing to accept the narcissists bad behavior in the first place. Funny, even after you learn about them they still believe themselves to be superior to you, more intelligent but none of it is true. The narcissist relives the same scenario relationship after relationship, never learns anything and becomes a master at those skills but of not much more. They're actually not difficult to manipulate once you see through the cracks in their mask and learn how to engage with them and are able to stand your ground with them. If you are able to walk away from the scene be prepared for retaliation. They're vindictive by nature and will seek to punish you for exercising power over them and will come at you with an attack bigger than anything previous.

[@senseijen8963]

We don't have a choice but adapt to the change. There are so many narcs nowadays and there will be more of them. I will listen to this over and over again. I need the tools he is giving us.

[@MegaVictorygirl]

Thank you Professor. You’ve given me information no one else has even begun to address. Your insight makes a good life possible for healthy persons who do not understand the narcissist or other personalities. I walked away from narcissists and I know I am healthier and safer for it.

[@brendaplunkett8659]

This is possibly the best lecture I have ever heard on this subject. Thank you so much for making it accessible.

[@audreymlean-roberts1394]

Thank you for this lecture. It clearly explained my experience of a person living in our house hold. Initially I could not get a handle on this person. There just seemed to be such an array of issues. He related to his girlfriend as though she was the same person he met 15 years ago. They had met in their early 20’s. Of course one would expect that after 15 years later to have matured. From what I understand, that was as result of the narcissist relating to a “snapshot” of her. Also he came across as a compulsive liar so much so it didn’t make sense. He, I guess was lacking in continuity of memory. But of course, he would always confabulate with a bias to enhancing his position. His vilification of others in the beginning shocked me. He so often tried to get me to see the world from his very skewed position. I felt like he was trying to absorb me. Which quite honestly it disturbed me a lot.

[@buzzingbee9499]

Hit the nail on the head about all this sadly had no idea 15 years was discarded like trash over night. Also sadly I was the best thing and even more at this point that could have ever happened to him what a waste.

[@slickmashable]

I love how he says the same thing, but in a different way in the next sentence. It hammers the point so well Example: The child creates a False self To protect him Like A god In this way The child creates a Private religion And carries this through life brings on board flying monkeys to join in this religion A religion with a God But this God is the false self It is a God, of the Old Testament He demands sacrifice from his followers A god that demands human sacrifice. Love it! 😂😂😂

[@caylabatts9270]

Hahaha. Scrolling while listening to Sam's heavy points so that laugh was appreciated! So sad too obviously.

[@alisonmadden6471]

I loooove “don’t even pack your things”!

[@pennir8834]

Sam Vaknin have you done an autobiography? If not please do. Thank you for your work appreciate it.

[@TatianaKaterinasinging]

As a native greek speaker, I have to say that Mr. Vaknin has a great understanding of the greek words he used, as well as a great pronunciation.

[@mir-jan3496]

@@3dmediaworks229 Narciss is a Greek, the one who felt in love with him self.

[@mir-jan3496]

@@rokasdobrovolskis , You right, English is my third language.

[@mir-jan3496]

@@rokasdobrovolskis , Ok, I understand, but I couldn't explain like you did, sometime I can't choose right words, although I understand English very well.👍

[@crackmassage]

I think the couple minutes starting at 1:15 is one of the most illuminating sections of Mr Vaknin's talk. . The Narcissist has "empathy" which Vaknin calls "cold empathy". I was taught , in childhood development study at university, that "theory of mind" (=the ability to understand that someone else is thinking something very different from you) and Empathy(= the ability to spontaneously feel what someone else other than you is feeling) develop at about the same time in a developing child (ages4+, usually no later than age 6), and before that most of the child's feeling is simply symbiotic with the mother or mother-figure for the most part, just reflecting back, or the child's feeling is initiating one's own. They just vacillate between their own needs, and their mother's figure's responses to things, before developing this greater sense of empathic ability which is a milestone leap forward toward normal personhood. . This is an important milestone in a brain's development (at around age 4-5) , to understand both what other people-- besides one's self and one's mother figure -- might be thinking, AND to FEEL what those other people might be feeling. Mr. Vaknin's "Cold empathy" here is simply relaying to me that only the COGNITIVE part of the empathy chip is being installed in the developing child who will be a life-long narcissist. So they seem to "pass' for having some empathic ability even though they really don't feel a thing, they just know how to ACT as if they feel what you are feeling and understand it. Then this acting is used to manipulate others' feelings and capitalize on them. The real empathy chip never gets installed-- and most psychologists think that if it fails to happen in those early years of age -- by, say, age 6 at the latest -- that child will never have any REAL empathy. This lack the genesis of other psychopaths also. Very powerful stuff.

[@buzzingbee9499]

Yes

[@ANANDALEEMA]

Very true. I brought up my nephew for whom I got legal guardianship when he was 8 years old. He came out of an alcoholic and drug addict household and I gave him . But he always hated me, He could not show me except at the very beginning. Today he is 25 and I have had to learn to accept cutting off the contact. He does not want me in his life. He is totally unsympathetic about anything that pertains to me. It has taken years for me to that the first 8 years damaged him lastingly. To protect I have had to remove myself from his life - to think I thought of him as my son!

[@adelinaalera8271]

they have empathy, but its very suppressed.

[@catbouch5877]

Very good

[@crisy9052]

@@ANANDALEEMA So is he actually a Narcissist, or have you labelled him as such?

[@veronicperemore3288]

Perhaps this is the reason why those who aren't suffering from any of this don't feel like we fit into this world. The world is run by the type of people he is describing is why others are allowed to suffer when there is help it just isn't given. The world is taking a shift especially now that people are becoming aware of this. You have to wonder if all those people in power and some people who are high up in business who mistreat others perhaps have some personality disorder or mental illness. I personally think we call it narcissism or personality disorders but think it's actually evil that has taken a place within them and they are being used as a vessel for evil.

[@jilewa]

Yes its a very interesting time watching general awareness of this behaviour increase, with the effect that we can see why those who abuse power will never give it up or think about changing their ways. Sam’s mention of androids and the Japanese robotics engineer really struck me. The way the energy shifts in a room when someone isnt quite real or isnt quite listening or empathising like everyone else. Its innately chilling. I feel at least armed with knowledge now, but afraid of the callousness and ruthlessness with which narcissists can and do rule this world.

[@vANIBO1979]

This was beyond Brilliant! A in-depth must for anyone needing to truly understand the narcissist and beyond . What an exceptional lecture ! Thank you Sam so much for sharing your knowledge , humor , wit and brilliance with us !

[@MsMelissa216]

The narcissist are like buckets with holes in them. No matter how much you try to fill it … it will never be good enough. Get out ASAP its a dead end situation

[@MsNunununu]

Powerful I realize I've been doing these techniques all my life in surviving these personalities in yet maintaining empathy

[@linaschmidt4900]

Me toooooo! Continued strength be with us all!!!

[@ladytricia9808]

Sam, I didn't hear any conversation on hoovering. My narc pushes me away and I agree and he pulls me back. Finally, I discarded him and he is continually hoovering. When I initially discarded him, he panicked. He needed to see me, wanted me, demanded for us to get together. He was in such a panic mode that he was scary. I started to think that if there was a meeting and he couldn't control me, my life might be in danger. So I stayed away.

[@ulrikabjorken1752]

Mine poisoned me..stay away 🙏

[@JenJen-80sbaby]

​@@ulrikabjorken1752 I believe mine may have drugged me

[@carolsaldana546]

I wish I could have a print out of this presentation so I can dissect it slowly

[@in_vino_veritas7938]

Me too. I'm not sure if he's saying once we've been exposed to long term trauma we no longer have empathy again, or if that is only the result of mirroring them, etc. So far just into the 15 minute tutorial.

[@corrinestarc9621]

Pause it and take notes. It's a very effective way to learn and retain the material.

[@doflamingo8366]

I would suggest to buy his book... Malignant Self Love by Sam Vaknin

[@GigiPicasso]

@@in_vino_veritas7938 he said it comes back once healed and that's the difference with narcissists & the narcissistic miroring

[@erik7386]

Sir I don’t think many people really grasp what you are saying to them. I’m very impressed with your upfrontness almost impeccable.

[@marnerose2315]

You are a giant in this field. You took a flashlight and highlighted many conversations with my ex narc. The piece on being hyper vigilant is priceless. He was always scanning the room to see who spoke to him and who didnt. I could never understand why it even mattered. This explains it and so many other behaviors. I connected with joining a cult when in relationship with a narcissist. I have never heard it explained that way. It definitely felt I joined a cult that I couldnt make sense of it.

[@crisy9052]

You cannot escape a Narcissist even if you stay away for years. It is like a curse. Some never get tired of destroying your life. It is best to cut all ties with siblings and extended family, especially if the Narcissists is your parent. They anticipate your actions and countereact on it by spreading the most horrendous lies about you so that you are not believed when you disclose your abuse. The sad thing is, everyone believes them, including Authorities who failed to discover the truth and without recognition that they are infact Narcissists with disorded complex personalities. Thie lies forever stays on the records and it becomes official. Your life is then ruined despite no contact. A psycopathic Narcissist is the most dangerous obstacle in anyone's life. Walk away and leave your belongings as if your house is on fire in hell. RUN!

[@elkaus2911]

This is the most impressive insight into narcissistic behaviour that I have read - thank you Prof Vaknin

[@binabinnat728]

Am watching it over and over ....very instructive , helpful and academically enlightening! Thank you SAM

[@BalticLab]

I tried exposing my ex narc girlfriend. Worst idea ever. Only through excellent lawyers, a huge amount of cash and some police officers actually knew my character because they're family friends, and that she has multiple charges for filing false reports in previous relationships, got me out of this mess. All I did was send screenshots and voice recordings of her affairs, triangulations and dragging her family through the mud to her family, friends and secondary supplies. I regretted it the second I sent the messages. It wasn't a good thing to do, at all. No matter how bad someone treated you, you don't have to step down to their level. Her reaction came swiftly, primary through falsified police charges. Which makes no sense, she would have had legit charges: In Germany it is a felony recording conversations without permission and defaming someone even if the allegations are true. So she could have went with the legitimate charges. But she knew if she'd to that, the recordings, screenshots and messages would become evidence and her facade would he visible to the authorities. What ensued was a grim horror show. In her narcissistic rage, friends and family finally saw her true self because she couldn't keep stories straight, other supplies (affairs) blocked her without comment. You do NOT want to cause extreme rage from narcissistic collapse. It's grave danger!

[@crystaljanssen4382]

Did they physically hurt you because you exposed them and their lies? What happened to her after everybody found out about her deceitful, evil secrets? I have actually prayed that God would show me the truth and actually he did too. He wrote his prayer down and hung it up in the living room. His prayer sounded so sincere. He told God he loved me so much and he prayed for me to be healthy in mind, body, and spirit. He prayed that God would show me the truth and to help me to be able to see that he wasn't really doing me wrong and for God to give me, or himself a wake up call, whichever one of us needed it. A few days later I got a video of him kissing a girl and sneaking her out of the same building that I was in. I have thanked the good Lord many times for finally showing me the truth. I also thanked my narc for praying that God would show me the truth. In a lot of ways I do feel bad for him, but maybe exposing him would be what he needs to realize and get help so that he won't do anybody else the evil, heartless, more than cruel and deceitful way that he did me? Idk maybe it wouldnt? I told a friend of mine that had dated a narc previously but had been away from her narc for about a year, but I told her about some of the evil, torturous things that mine did to me and she was blown away by how far he actually took everything and the all the mean, heartless, evil games he played on me and she said, "Wow you must have been with some kinda of super narcissist because that's really messed up!" My friend has been single for a year and is still really messed up from her relationship. She said her narc didn't even do half the messed up things mine did. I just feel like its gonna be a really long time before I can get toward any kind of healing. I just started having nightmares about him and the games he used to play on me and I've started waking up crying this week. Is this normal? Or has anybody else ever done this? Anybody have any advice? Sorry to write a book.

[@toekafrank6998]

"The games people play now, every night and and every day now..."

[@janedough]

And they try to sock it tooo ya, in the name of...supremacy.

[@carolinegraystone9308]

never meaning what they say now and never saying what they mean

[@toekafrank6998]

@@carolinegraystone9308 🤝🤝👍

[@cementdealer2481]

Become poor and ugly narcissist will definately rum away. And once they are running catch them and ask them they will blame you for all the bad they do.

[@LizEarthAngel3]

Truth after 21 years with him I learned to play his game to survive, but lmao at the coronavirus joke I actually call him that it used to be Ebola his nickname 😂 but his upgraded to corona

[@wandak3025]

😂😂😂

[@sandalkasimi2354]

Bravoo 🤣🤣🤣

[@survivorvibe7448]

LizEarthAngel3 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@LizEarthAngel3]

Pamela P it’s a long story not what I wanted to do as they do thinks like deliberately get you pregnant, give you no money etc, it’s not always easy to leave a psychopath especially when you have children with them etc, still I think until you have lived someone else’s story why judge it?

[@IamVerasitaPrincessa]

Unfortunatelly.. They are like a cancer to our souls and emotional stability.Every time I give him the chance to speak(he is blocked but still finds ways) he utterly tears me into pieces, my day is over, I can't keep up with my day. He utterly is a cancerous cell that spreads rapidly and aims towards vital organs.... Mastectomy to remove this cancerous poison in our life😓😢

[@asmrtoimproveyourlife9916]

Mr Vaknin, Your body of work is second to none.

[@JamesAndersonOwlnAcorn]

WOW!! 7 years of online study and still wondering. 3:43:28 lecture, everything explained! Thank you Sir!

[@buzzingbee9499]

I was told this exactly that he doesn't need me that I could be replaced lol

[@bonitasmith6064]

I was told this about seven weeks ago before I went NC. He said I don't even care I hurt you.

[@triangleband9682]

Amazing sir...like alwayz No contact is the best way to keep our sanity intact

[@helenasplace]

True dat

[@thelonelyheartstarotclub8702]

Best psycho analytic understanding of the mind, this information can save your life. Some of these narcissist are dangerous and be very afraid of your life threatening narcissistic psychopath.

[@helenasplace]

@@Dtella55 Yours did frauds too? Mine as well

[@milaspasova3338]

Sadly, this is my mother from A to Z. And in the recent years- my father who soaked her personality. I have tried all those techniques as a kid before even knowing what narcissism is. When I grey rock she starts coming up with stories about how I did things I never did or how I said things I never said. Then I switched to mirroring only to have her diagnosing me with narcissism but failing to actually see that I am just returning the behaviour I see from her. When she calls I have even tried to repeat back what she said word by word just to see her reaction. For example I asked ' Are you actually saying to me that (insert her exact words here)' and her answer was ' Why would I say that, only a total freak would say something like that to their child' and it left me speechless. The only way I get her to behave is to threaten to have the conversation recorded.

[@chrysichrysi7889]

You CAN outsmart a narcissist. There's no need to sink down to his/her level and try to manipulate them as it obviously makes you no better. As a matter of fact, there's nothing easier than to outsmart a person who lives in constant delusion and denial, without becomming a narcissist yourself. The reason why most of us who aren't narcissists often times hesitate to do so, is because on some level, we pitty them because we can see that they are already victims of themselves. Projecting is therefore the wrong approach. They won't change or suddenly become enlightened of their wrongs and want to do right by you, so don't hold your breath, and the goal is not to "fix" them. When dealing with narcissist, your approach should be the same as when you approach an out of control 2 year old who is about to learn their boundries the hard way if need be. That's all. No more. Don't make it complicated, don't search too far for answers since that's their job, not yours. Last but not least, never show or brag to the narcissist about how much you know or how intelligent or skilled or whatever, you are. They know. They feel it. They see it. And are envious. You make THEM feel like they are winning, like you're so naive....the way they want to see you, while you're carefully putting your next move into place right under their nose in order to win your freedom from them. You HAVE TO let them be their own downfall and let them feel it. Don't help them when they turn on the victim (which they will try 100%) mode because THAT'S where they WILL get you right back into that hamsterweel again , running for them and going no where eventually killing your spirit slowly.

[@May-pp9cq]

Very true and straight forward

[@AERIELify]

So incredibly informative. The analogies made things so clear on multiple levels. Thank you!

[@angelafalsetta4309]

Sensational presentation, Dr, Sam. You touched on every aspect! Your knowledge, skilled expertise and style will and has saved many lives, minds, hearts, and souls. And you are so outstandingly professional. Your development of "Cold Therapy" is outstanding! Can't help it...your personality, quite enjoyable, does capture any audience. I also, can't help it...I see amazing compassion in you. TYSM! God Bless You! Gratitude to translators.

[@Grgrrr]

This is a massively complex topic and I caution any non professional diagnosis of self, friends or family. Many manifestations of primary and secondary characteristics in an individual need to be explored at their root and not in an informal investigation wherein the assessor has no concept of self-confirmatory bias. Excellent presentation which I will be unwrapping for awhile. Thank you.

[@madhuvashist889]

So very true. Only few days back I had not heard this video but confronted some horrible facts of the narcicist I have to deal with. I was dumb founded at the jekyll and hyde type of dual nature of the person. How consoling to learn from this knowledgeable person that my horror of dual nature of narcissist is validated in this lecture.

[@barbarapope349]

This was very much appreciated,Mr Sam Vaknin, very informative and quite a wake up call 👍🏻 thank you it was also very interesting with the Hungarian language as my grandmother was Hungarian but unfortunately didn’t teach me many words so I enjoyed a double treat!!!

[@gracious6461]

They need to have a big public seminar where everyone is invited and call you to come and speak to the nation these serpents need to be exposed to the world.

[@user-fn4ov7lo8g]

Wanna speak to a Narcissist

[@brigettesweet2464]

That is the only thing they truly fear. public unmasking, how beautiful that would be.

[@helenasplace]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 TY

[@helenasplace]

@@brigettesweet2464 Wow yes. My narc was so ‘in denial’, grandiose. Always thought no one would ever see through him or expose him.. ‘I will never get caught’ type mentality

[@ozol33]

Sam, you’re fucking brilliant and a pioneer in this filed of research. Thanks for putting this out there

[@juncubianca2072]

thank you very much! that makes sense of everything ,respect for you and for ur great work , you deserve the best for wat you are doing. 🙏🏻

[@Megzm6]

All you are doing is becoming them ,but in reverse order. You do to them what they did ,but reverse the order. I think it would not be a good idea. The best revenge is moving on and ignoring them completely. They hate abandonment it will eat them up.

[@ironblue5958]

Brilliant....as usual. Thank you Sam. I agree about the lack of chairs too, it is a long lecture.

[@terri1455]

Who the hell has time to play all these games lol people just go no contact problem solved !!

[@samvaknin]

I fully agree. Which is why I invented "no contact" in 1995.

[@terri1455]

Great invention! That’s the one that will allow you to keep your sanity!

[@Nico1952]

I had to laugh out loud when you explained the way the narcissist thinks and feels. Ha ha. (@40 mins)

[@melk.3485]

1:07:18 essence of existence and why narcissistic personalities are described as false or not existing - schemas 1:08:30 how npd/aspd differ from neurotypicals 1:10:03 false and true self explained, leads into cold empathy vs empathy 1:19:03 loving a narcissistic / psychopathic person

[@tashacook2451]

Thank you, that was in depth and thorough 🙏

[@carefulobserver1166]

Thanks again Sam!!

[@sa-ok2rf]

Standing up for over 3 hours is very tiring there should be chairs

[@Trishapaytasofficial]

that's what you got out of this lecture amazing.

[@beinghumane01]

Barbara paid him a LOT of money ;)

[@candycanes7581]

Sam stood there and spoke while three people replaced him. He is a machine.

[@dutchblackgirl6247]

ooo Tank u Sam Vaknin for the video!!! so much info thanks again!!!

[@koreenalaw8644]

Such an amazing video!!!

[@helgaalthof2471]

Very well spoken.

[@Trypyyyy]

This is a tiring game... I had them swarming around me while I was running my business. I kicked all of them out systematically.

[@terri1455]

This blew my mind 🤯

[@marycruise9348]

My brother began to develop his narcisstic god when he was 2 1/2yr during another danger/abandonment exposure we had from our reckless behaving father. Wild that he was cognitive aware of the situation we were in. He thought we were ready to go ahead and live without our parents. I told him no and that they still had our baby brother, grabbed his hand and made him run with me to go find them. My issue has always been to manage our safety, and not so well at times, as i consider how i couldnt protect him or rescue him from narcissim. I'm convinced there is no magic cure, yet one nonetheless that has yet to be discovered. In the mean time, i highly believe in exercising strong boundaries. Thank you for sharing your insights.

[@MarthaGarcia-ix5ow]

i'm trying to understand this thanks for sharing

[@FM-gv4yl]

Fenomenal xxx great understanding thank you

[@buzzingbee9499]

The best part (you mean 0 to the narcissist

[@spramele]

Wow! How informative this was! Thank you so much. Such fantastic information. I get it now but, I never would have if I didn’t see this. Thank you so much Sam!

[@katarinaj.6830]

This is some scary shit.. great one though

[@user-fn4ov7lo8g]

Wanna speak to a Narcissist? In the comments?

[@mirinabourbonnais2375]

I used my mom's biggest desire to get her into therapy; seeing my children. I got the worst last words from her on her deathbed but I got all the closure I needed. When she'd try to say she couldn't make it I'd explain she'd have to tell my kids why they couldn't see her that weekend. She always showed up. I humanized her and she realized my hurt; she still used it as often as she could. I had to be very strong and controlled; it was hard as hell. I was grateful for this lucky plan I had actually working. The circumstances were pretty luck filled too. I'm still working on this with another person; its not been as successful.

[@simikatra3434]

You charmer, you do tickle me. I've got a Wayne's World quote running through my head "I'm not worthy I'm not worthy" \m/ \m/ I'm going to have to watch this a few times, lots of fascinating information, thank you

[@SandriaGuest]

God help me.

[@ilonas7760]

Sandria Guest oh hun. Get out. May really god be with you.

[@inspectorbudget]

Sandria Guest He will help but always, ALWAYS move in stealth. Plan your escape while appearing broken, subjugated & docile. They are very naive & gullible. I tricked mine into thinking I had to go impatient at a mental hospital. He even offered to help me pack. He thought it was only a temporary stay which suited him just fine. Discard phase already in place. What he didn't know was that I already had another place to move into. He sent me texts thinking I was still inpatient saying he really does care about me. Sent me his new number & said call him soon as I get out. I was never in an institution. His ass doesn't know where I live to this day! 🤣🤣🤣 That's been 2 years ago.

[@aleksandrat9184]

inspectorbudget omg- easily the funniest shit I’ve read in months! Love it!

[@aleksandrat9184]

Sandria Guest ❤️🙏✨

[@SandriaGuest]

inspectorbudget that’s given me a lot to think about. I know that was tough and I hope I can get there too

[@lexie919]

Thank you Sam ❤️

[@rainbowcheung3773]

Wow ... that is SO amazing well explained the inside of mind of a Narcissists 👍👍it's really given me insight that I was encountered with a Narcissists and of course I was the new supply. Prof. Same Vaknin what you said is what the missing pieces of what I am unable to grasp for why I got discarded and replaced by a Narcissists in a second. You mentioned don't trying so hard to communicate with Narcissists 👊👊 I can't agree more because there is no one there and that is what I feel when I was trying so hard to communicated with a Narcissists. I am basically taking with no one just myself. Don't brother just walk away and that was what the Narcissists told me at the love bombing stage because I was asking him you said you are that great then why you didn't get married again? or at least have tone of women awaiting in line for you? if you are that so amazing as he said he was 😜 he said those women don't know how to treat him and he is right but what in earth for a normal healthy people know how to provided narcissists supply to them without any knowledge about a Narcissists. I think Hollywood have the material for a very interesting movie call "Inside the mind of Narcissist" and I just feel what about I sent him your video to him then he didn't have to give me the closure that I was begging him for and he just trying to ignore me. Prof. Same Vaknin you are the BEST for what your professional 🤝🙏 You also said Narcissists supply means nothing to a Narcissists because we are just commodity, interchangeable and he will discard you and replace you immediately when you stop provide the Narcissists supply that is exactly what I feel why he discarded me and replaced me by his Narcissists supplies that he already have in stock just like a business transaction. 💔💯

[@ulrikabjorken1752]

Amazing 👏thank you so much 🙏

[@majarasovic7389]

You are right to the last word.

[@kritikalohumi8085]

I was what like 20 years old when i told this guy I'd replicate your pain because i had this love for him that he would not accept and it was painful for me to carry it around. Later after years of not understanding why my best behaviour with no complaints from my side weren't enough I chose survival and left him in my own mind for I didn't know if I even was connected to him like ever. I deleted all my social media platforms for I didn't want a single thing to remind me of him. I truly was moving on. I began experiencing things and living life from his perspective on my own. I realized my attraction for him came from being able to feel proud over facing misery. Such a new concept. I could never hate him for I always knew it in me he wasn't happy even if he was making me sad. That was strangely comforting, I have to look up what's wrong with me. No one has made me feel such intense emotions like he has. I always wondered what switch I pulled and where that I lost him forever. Now I have some clarity. I was in love with myself. He was mirroring what I was projecting onto me. What I was telling him I wanted/needed. He was bound to get exhausted/bored at some point. Now I get it. It hurts. Still not sure if it's my place to help him. If I can help him or if I still want to help him. All I know, Is I can't lose myself for a person who is not even there.

[@beautifullove2394]

It’s not your job to save him. They want you to sacrifice every part of you. Save yourself and keep moving forward. The damage from staying is so bad you won’t recognize yourself. If you have any questions ask me please.

[@Kingdom_of_God777]

Some individuals are lost to the darkness forever

[@whynot5846]

I almost took my life last night because of a nassissit. He has stolen my survivel. Sam you are so right. Wish I could walk away. He has made sure a can never walk away. I'm empathic but I will stab him if he comes near me. My heart is turning cold.

[@mommabear2305]

Find that person in your life who can be there as a friend and one who helps you to stay grounded with your thoughts and feelings. Do not share any information with mutual friends, neighbors etc..If you're gonna try and break free. Even family members sometimes will not understand. It must be someone you trust completely. Start putting money away for the future, even if its only a few dollars at a time. Be careful about where you keep it though or who holds onto it for you. Make copies of all your important papers if you can. You can do this!! Do NOT give up. YOU ARE WORTH IT!!! I understand about feeling like your heart is turning cold btw. You are still the same person, you just need to get away and return to your true self. Try to be as prepared as possible so when the time comes you are more confident in leaving. God Bless you!!

[@marlenr8691]

Why Not seek help. Hang on. Don’t give him your life. Don’t let him win. We are cheering for you.

[@notsev7566]

Please do not end your life and live on, trust me you will always heal with time and become more resistant. This is temporary and don't let your emotions carry you away from your logic. Speak to me if you want to understand. Ive been through the same situation. Il keep you in my prayers. Please stay strong, do not act impulsively, remain neutral in all interactions. Do not show that you are hurt if you can. The situation might be bad but is not as bad as you think, trust me. You will see it with time. Your brain can trick you due to the gas lighting, trust issues and prolonged negative emotions/abuse. Do not try to convince anyone of your story unless you are really close, just say you don't want anything to do with him or act like nothing happened because they can send people to get information so they can twist stories. My last advice if you wish, is to please *PRAY* consistently, it really works. You will see the result of it.

[@Sarah-xh6vp]

I was in the same situation only 3 weeks ago, practically dead on every level......please look at Richard Grannon on youtube, he has loads of free advice and also he can teach you how to start to heal

[@julzy20032000ify]

Work on breaking yourself free from 1. Codependency 2. Toxic bonding 3. Guilt...and then you'll find it much easier to leave.

[@angelafalsetta4309]

This is magic, Dr. Sam and so are you! And it is so sad but you clarify it all. It got me "Whatever you can do...I can do better" for mirroring. I chose NC(entire FOO and surrounding persons I ever knew thought them) so none the afterward 7 methods....hard work... are necessary unless for some reason I have no choice but to see them, like in a courtroom...Then it is Heavy Grey Rock. NO eye contact...not regarding them at all. That's about it for the methods. Let the Attorneys do the talking and only talk/ask/answer to those you must. I am getting there, Dr. Sam, thanks to you. I HAVE a better chance of recovery understanding it through your developed perception and deeply researched/studied understanding of narcissists and all they made of. Maybe I can rid myself of the hate that is only hurting me(Not them)...Now! I hope you and your wife are well. TYSM! God Bless YOU! It broke my heart when you referred to yourself as No ONE, Dr. Sam...Nobody home...And do not exist!! Heartbreaking! True, I cannot accept that!. You have a big heart! HUGE!