My Daughter LIED About How Her Marriage Ended & INSISTS It Wasn't Emotional Affair r/Relationships

[@randomusername3873]

Don't you love how the redditors randomly decided, with no information whatsoever, that the ex husband was "mistreating" his wife?

[@bryn1063]

Ikr. It even turned out that HE had depression while his wife was cheating on him. And its crazy how reddit just trashed on the mom. It's not like op said she hated her daughter, she just disappointed.

[@Davtwan]

>most of the comments chastises OP for jumping to conclusions with little information >some of those imply/assume the ex-hubby was a terrible person with little information All I got to say is: 🤡.

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

Honestly that seems to be going alot in both directions. There's so much context missing yet everyone thinks they certainly have the answer and understand the whole situation.

[@anitaomoaghama4097]

When the woman has an emotional affair, it’s a “grey area” the man must be a bad guy, when the man cheats, he’s scum. The double standards is strong is strong in this one.

[@SirNomad]

@@anitaomoaghama4097 typical Reddit.

[@jarodjohnson6630]

The fact that she mentioned this more than once "the affair wasn't physical before the divorce" when her mom never asked her anything about it being physical. She has a guilty conscience. "The more she says something the more likely the opposite is true

[@riverjbleu]

I don’t know why Reddit justified the daughter’s emotional cheating. I was floored because any time it’s a man doing it and the mom finds out but still supports him.. the mother is dragged for it???

[@agord7591]

Reddit has a bias against men and are more forgiving to women. It's something you notice if you listen to enough of these stories.

[@MrAlwaysOnTen]

This happens alottttt on Reddit just like the comment above me said

[@godzillakungfu]

Hilarious. She was DATING, while in a marriage, but the mom was judgmental and wrong. The trickle truthing was hilarious.

[@paulinadeboer3604]

She cheated! She went over to his house i we have to believe it was only emotional yeah.. NO!, her hubby was depressed and she nopped out. The poor man i hoop he has therapy.

[@caseydemmings6666]

Because she a female and that it

[@cnow82]

AITA is so pretentious. They drag cheaters every time. Now she is disappointed her daughter emotionally cheated. And AITA dragged the mom? If this was from the point of view of the ex husband they would drag her daughter. She didn’t cut her off. She didn’t disown her. Just said she was disappointed. I just can’t with AITA sometimes. 🙄

[@cuzican1902]

And she lied to her mother. People typically lie to hide things. Not the AITA

[@anthonygilmour6236]

They only drag them if they are male.

[@jay2thaudy]

​@@anthonygilmour6236 clear a female being dragged in this story lol. I hope you get laid soon.

[@robertwesley7332]

I mean-she didn't _really_ cheat, though. She found somebody else and left her husband rather quickly afterward; I'm not entirely sure what you would've wanted her to do.

[@penhxd5970]

​@@robertwesley7332 It doesn't seem like she left him right away, though. OP said daughter was spending a lot of time at work and husband was depressed. Isn't that one of the main excuses cheaters use a lot, working late/overtime? Plus the friend said she met the new guy at orientation, which would mean she met him when she first started her job 🤔. So that would mean she started staying later at work after she met the guy. At least that's what I'm getting 😅.

[@shay4068]

Spouse: my spouse had an emotional affair. Internet: divorce them right now.. mother: my daughter had an emotional affair. Internet: how dare you judge her? No wonder she doesn't tell you anything.. parents please don't seek help from the Internet because you will always be wrong even if you were doing your best, also, remember that you are most likely talking to teenagers not actual adults so please be careful

[@kdhebskh]

Imagine getting advice in the internet from teenagers, assholes etc 😂

[@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement]

​@@kdhebskh More like basement dwelling incels.

[@roelthas]

NTA for first one, OP is supporting her daughter, but she can be disappointed with her because she did cheat.

[@ISIIN15]

OMG nuance!? That has no place in reddit

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

“She was worried about being judged by me” yeah, no shit, when you do something bad, like have an emotional affair, people are going to judge you for it. I have no idea how OP got labeled the asshole in this situation and it’s awful that she got brainwashed into thinking that she was in the wrong.

[@robertx8020]

I agree I also disagree with Markee So no it is a grayzone? how? she cheated Others have been burned down for the same sytuation

[@jodieisnotokay]

she didn't cheat

[@locusxe1411]

@@jodieisnotokayshe did though.

[@jodieisnotokay]

@LocusXE because she left a marriage she didn't want to be in then dated her friend?

[@neutrality8747]

@@jodieisnotokay She probably did. She lied about when she met the guy, she probably only divorced to protect the affair.

[@Letha-AnnCooper]

Unfortunately, an emotional affair is still in affair. Since she lied about the whole thing in the first place, why would we believe there wasn’t anything physical.

[@tigernotwoods914]

Technically it’s not since nothing physical happened.

[@jakeand9020]

​@@tigernotwoods914Correction, in your OPINION it's not. TECHNICALLY it is.

[@tigernotwoods914]

@@jakeand9020 nope. It’s the other way around. To me it’s cheating or at least on the same level but technically it isn’t.

[@anxnymous_bodies]

@@tigernotwoods914Your opinion isn’t fact, dude. Emotional cheating is still cheating.

[@tigernotwoods914]

@@anxnymous_bodies wrong

[@eldeano9964]

There's so much projecting in the comments with their imaginary scenarios, daughter monkey branched while letting her marriage fail.

[@eye-chan1711]

Why is it her letting their marriage fail? These issues were going on before she met her current bf. Why is it her issue to fix her ex’s depression instead of a trained therapist? Why is it her issue to fix their work schedule when it’s both of their work schedule causing issues and not also the ex’s? Why do you somehow know she didn’t try to fix them? This isn’t monkey branching. It’s building something new when the original is unfixable.

[@socketyellow3]

@@eye-chan1711it’s monkey branching because she got a replacement while still in a marriage. Swap the genders and maybe you will see the cheating. Normally I wouldn’t say that but geez these comments are acting like she just bought a new car while and sold the old one

[@cm4n63]

@@eye-chan1711 cheating is cheating lol

[@MrAlwaysOnTen]

@@eye-chan1711 oh you a cheater cheater

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

The projection is on both sides frankly. People will either pick and choose what evidence to take from a second/third party story, or people will assume "oh she said there were issue so obviously the marriage was already dead and it that was out of her control".

[@jimmyzim4765]

The daughter had an affair. Hardstop. She chose to going with this new guy instead of actually working on her marriage. Opie is right to be disappointed in her daughter. I know if one of my girls did this I don't know if I would be able to look at them the same. Cheating cheating whether it is emotional or physical it is still cheating.

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

Story 2. I am from NYC, and growing up in NYC you learn to mind your own business, be untrustful of those overly friendly, and stick to the people in your circle. I moved to the countryside about 21 years ago. And yes, the way OP is describing the people that live in her area is spot on. When I moved to the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains, people were so helpful, welcoming, and accepting. It was difficult for me to get used to this, but every thing changed one summer night. We had an unknown electrical issue, and a fire started in my house in the middle of the night. We lost all our material things, our home, and a couple pets, but the only thing important to us was that our children were unharmed. Anyway, the fire started at 2 am, and by 12 pm we had people in our town donating clothes, toiletries, water, food, even money, and some of these people were strangers. A week after the fire we had about 150 people from our community come throughout the day to help us go through the house and salvage whatever we could. Also, a local Italian restaurant donated several pizza's and drinks to help feed all those volunteering. These acts of extraordinary kindness taught me what true community, and selflessness meant. I cried in front of my home as I saw how these wonderful people came to support my family and I. I have made some of my dearest friends here.

[@bonefetcherbrimley7740]

I am sorry about your pets and home.

[@andrewhobbs4656]

An emotional AFFAIR is still an AFFAIR, and the mother has evey right to be disappointed in her daughter for having an AFFAIR. Infidelity is no joke.

[@sfsin3380]

After the update talk yes. Before the update OP was jumping to conclusions based on very little info. Daughter had met a guy OP was already aware she worked with and didn't sleep with him that not much. Hiding how long they knew each other doesn't look great but OP given OP believed a year was too soon to date so daughter could have had a good reason to tell a lie in order to ovoid this exact type of conclusion jumping. As many people pointed out with the info OP had daughter very well could have left before things developed into a emotional affair. As it turned out this wasn't the case but OP did not know that when she went off on daughter. Just because OP wound up being right doesn't change that.

[@pikachu7572]

Right and it looks so bad for op's daughter that she literally jumps from relationship to relationship since before adulthood. Like it's weird she was never even single in adulthood but had two relationships

[@pikachu7572]

@@sfsin3380 I mean it was pretty obviously an emotional affair otherwise why hide the timeline of their relationship? Why lie about it? She was talking to this other man long before her relationship ended, that's an emotional affair which is just as damaging as any other kind. Look, no one is asking people to do the impossible but you know when you're putting someone above your spouse, you know when you're being inappropriate. She's not a kid with no understanding of boundaries

[@fiyahquacker2835]

@@sfsin3380 after and before. The op was at no point jumping to conclusions based on very little info considering the was already enough before the talk to suggest an emotional affair. It just sounds like you're trying to make excuses for the daughter as if you've done similar and don't regret it.

[@melogburn]

Agreed

[@patc4586]

Story #3: OP missed a possible solution. Call up MIL to "chat", admit to her that these little rug rats are running her ragged and ask MIL for tips and advice. "How on earth did you manage to raise husband without selling him to the gypsies just to be able to get some chores done, a relaxing shower, heck...a nap." Maybe MIL would jump on that opening like a starving lioness on a slab of prime zebra rib. She'd certainly be flattered and OP might even get a few tips on how to actually do it all and live to tell her own daughter/son-in-law about it.

[@jjm152]

People calling this woman "TA" and totally ignoring the fact that the daughter not only hid, but LIED about how she met her boyfriend, because she KNEW what she did and I don't buy that "there was no physical cheating" spiel for one moment. There was at the very least some physical contact of some kind because no "handsome, funny, charming" man is going to wait months and months for a married woman to get divorced except in a romance novel. Bunch of idiots on Reddit tbh.

[@ondank]

I don't think it matters that the daughter lied about how she met her boyfriend. Parents aren't owed that information. How many people lie about meeting in a bar because they don't want to say they met on tinder (or used to at least). The only real issue I have is that it does sound like the daughter dropped her husband like a hot potato. Its only an emotional affair if you realise that you are doing wrong and carry on the relationship. The daughter seemed to realize thats where she was going and immediately divorced him. Once she serves him the divorce papers, its not really cheating even if she does something after that point. The conclusion is still that the daughter doesn't sound like a very good person, and I wouldn't bother investing in her relationship because she is going to drop the new guy too.

[@Batman-lg2zj]

There wasn’t physical cheating and I don’t think that the daughter would lie about it

[@RealJacior]

​@@Batman-lg2zj Uh... why not? She lied once about something seemingly innocuous. She absolutely is still lying

[@jjm152]

@@Batman-lg2zj Batman isn't supposed to be this gullible.

[@carlrood4457]

Trust me, if it were a son rather than a daughter Reddit would be all on the mom's side.

[@adjwindu70]

Story 1: hanging out with a single man secrectly when you are married is emotinal cheating. My wife had secrectly texted an old lover that and it almost ended with divorce. The fact this woman dated the boyfriend THE DAY AFTER she divorced shows she emotionally cheated.

[@adjwindu70]

I wonder if the ex husband knew of the other guy

[@bahnmi436]

I think Reddit just hates parents in general. Anyone else would have been dragged for that sort of behavior. Also, I guarantee that when things get tough with the new squeeze, she will branch out to husband #3.

[@lolo_z]

Leaving a bad relationship doesn't mean you first look for back up, just leave. When you're letting that person in you are cheating, whether there's sex or not I hope that guy knows whats gonna happen when things turn sour. The mom isn't wrong, maybe it's one of the things you watch from a distance without having to tell the person what you think. By that i mean yes she might not have had to go off on her, but she isn't wrong.

[@tigernotwoods914]

Technically it’s not. If nothing sexual happened it’s not cheating. It’s still wrong and dishonest but cheating.

[@mariah4531]

It's really common though. Lots of people just stay in bad relationships, then meeting someome new gives them the motivation to get out.

[@carlrood4457]

@@tigernotwoods914 Being emotionally invested in another person romantically, is WORSE than physical cheating.

[@AusExplorer]

@@tigernotwoods914 Cheating, in a relationship context, is entertaining the non-platonic attention of someone other than your partner.

[@tigernotwoods914]

@@AusExplorer yes and no. Is dishonest and it’s still a dealbreaker but it’s not cheating until something physically happens.

[@sleepingkirby]

Story 1: (haven't heard update) I'm in the "need more info" camp. What happened could be okay depending on the circumstances. If it genuinely started out as a friendship or someone that showed her that her marriage is actually really bad, then yeah, it's okay. If she met someone and then wanted to get divorce because she "gotta have the guy" then it's bad.

[@FlamesofJagger]

Markee in the wrong for story 1. OP is her daughter's parent. Daughter had an emotional affair and lied to her parents about it. OP's NTA

[@user-sk2ij7mo6y]

Story 1 NTA she had an emotional affair for a YEAR before filing for divorce.. she waited till she had another man before leaving her ex....I couldn't look at either of them the same again after finding that out and I'd flat out tell my daughter you know if he will cheat with you he will cheat ON you as well right.

[@draconisdragonheart4248]

Story 1: An emotional affair is still an affair.

[@jake8748]

Story 1, she was having an emotional affair. Anytime someone has an affair/betrays their partner is them being selfish. Regardless of the problems in her marriage, she made a conscious choice to harm the person she vowed to always put first. The thing with emotional affairs is it begins with pulling the empathy and emotional support for your partner and redirecting it somewhere else. Anyone who's been on the receiving end will know just how crap that makes you feel especially when you are really trying to get better just to realise you have no support where you're expecting it the most.

[@babybookworm003]

Story 3 it’s okay to ask as long as op understands it’s also okay for her in-laws to say no

[@Iflie]

Yeah it's so weird, grandparents may just be waiting for a definite invitation. sounds like the whole family expects to beat around the bush until no one can actually find the bush anymore.

[@dianedupree-dempsey2402]

@@Iflie I agree! I don’t have grandkids yet but I am so leery of being THAT MIL, I would really want things spelled out so I didn’t get accused of interfering. 😂

[@meganwarren221]

I agree. I am from a family that culturally helps. We chose to live next to my in-laws, and they knew that choice included them helping. If they didn't want that, I would have been happy to move closer to family that would. Also: it goes both ways. My fil needs more help now, and we give it readily.

[@stormkive4356]

yeah literally like if they stick only casual invitations the inlaws are definitely not gonna make the not-so-casual 1.5hour drive just on a whim. they need direct communication my god, if the inlaws say no then they say no, its not the end of the world

[@Tralala083]

@@meganwarren221 precisely. I was a bit surprised by the YTA comments. Is it being an AH to ask? As long as they accept the "No" as answer, it's fine. We also moved back close to our family (we are from a similar culture), and they love to help with the kids. Now we start to take care of the older generation. No issue with that. You don't have to be alone to raise kids. But of course, you can't expect others to do it. Asking if fine, expecting is not

[@heartabduction]

Story 2 has me tearing up, I'm so glad to see OP making friends and seeing the good in herself. Just beautiful :')

[@daviddavitha]

Lol. Reddit is full of hypocrites, I swear. If a guy did what OP's daughter did, he would be crucified. Smh

[@CircusoftheMoon]

It’s not even that. Reddit and Markee have recently dragged a woman by accusing her of having an emotional affair because she left a boyfriend who was physically cheating and within a week she was in another relationship. It’s weird that in this instance it was okay, tho?

[@daviddavitha]

@@CircusoftheMoon it's so insane that that instance was OK, but somehow OP is "so judgemental". The daughter knew what she did was wrong, that's why she never told OP the full story, but somehow she expects full support. 🙄🙄

[@brad5167]

Story 1: Op really shouldn't have to apologize whatsoever and she is absolutely right with what she said because the daughter needed to hear that. Her daughter indeed had an emotional affair with someone and above all else showed how selfish she is and how she is not ready for marriage. She jumped shipped when times were bad instead of trying to help or communicate with her partner. I hope in family therapy she tells this to her daughter and to really work on herself before going into another marriage. I maybe speculating but jumping in right into another relationship after her divorce signals she isn't as remorseful as she claims but just ready to jump to another man who makes her feel great again.

[@zozocecp]

Pray tell, what other reasons are justifiable for divorce? WHEN is somebody allowed to feel unhappy and leave? Give me some reasons that don’t revolve around abuse.

[@ce731]

And if she offed him, like Chris Watts, you would be saying "she should have just left him". How do you know from this story that the ex's depression wasn't due to an unhappy marriage. Maybe he was freaking ecstatic that she wanted a divorce.

[@socketyellow3]

⁠@@zozocecpif she wanted to divorce her husband she could have, everyone is against her cheating on him then leaving when she secured her next husband. Also keep in the mind cheater’s worse thing about her husband was that he was depressed. Well when your wife starts to go to “work” so much that you barely see her and she starts to grow distant it tends to do that. He likely suspected her of cheating with the sudden increase of hours, dressing up better for the other guy, the you know she lied about some work days to hangout with the guy and tell her about how sad she is her husband is depressed she’s cheating.

[@Kris-wo4pj]

​@@socketyellow3depression doesnt come cuz your wife is working overtime unless ya have deeper issues. He was probably depressed for much longer. My depression didnt disappear cuz i got out of a toxic relationship but it did get better. If anything she made it worse but she didnt cause it.

[@brad5167]

@@zozocecp I didn't say the divorce wasn't justifiable just that Op's daughter didn't really try hard in her marriage. And pray tell me where exactly did it say something about abuse in the post?

[@greendiamondglow]

So when things get rough with the new BF, it's fine for her to find another man to confide in? Or if another woman turns to her BF for comfort in a bad time in her relationship, that's ok, too? I'm not saying the daughter was wrong to end her marriage, but she DID have an affair, and she did handle the situation poorly. Hopefully, she'll do the hard work on herself so this doesn't become a pattern of behavior. I get why OP was disappointed. Maybe she should have kept her thoughts to herself, but she wasn't wrong to feel that way. I'd be disappointed if someone I loved did this, too. Especially since it doesn't sound like the ex hub did anything to deserve the emotional double punch of his wife divorcing him and immediately moving on with someone she CLEARLY had something going on with before the divorce.

[@robertx8020]

A lot of ppl disagree with you ,,I don't

[@artygirl66]

Even if it isn't physical, emotionally attaching yourself to someone who isn't your current partner is still cheating. Anytime things get hard, someone always manages to step out of their relationship/marriage and get close to someone who isn't their partner they pretty much shoot the relationship/marriage in the face.

[@marchefog]

Emotional Affair is an affair. If you were afraid of being judged how you ended your marriage because the timeline spells AFFAIR, you had it coming

[@SeraphsGenisis]

We shouldn't be justifying cheating regardless of whether or not it was physical or emotional. She found someone else during their marriage, started liking/talking to the guy during their marriage, and THEN decided to divorce. Just sad that people are justifying the cheating regardless. I don't give a shit about how the ex feels, I'm focusing on the fact that she cheated. Do better people. Seriously. There is never any justification for cheating. "But the relationship was baaaaaad!" That doesn't matter, you leave the person first before finding a new spouse.

[@robertx8020]

Story one, one of the commenters "you have no idea how bad the situation was for her" Ok can we use that everytime now? Even if a man is 'cheating' ?? Well yeah he cheated but you have no idea how bad things were for him ,,, After the update Bloody heck More and more ppl are saying çheating is ok' becasue Are they all on drugs?

[@momop1848]

Story 2 was very, very wholesome. I'm happy for OP.

[@diamcole]

Agreed. Not a moral grey area, just people with "grey" morals lol.

[@starbird3939]

Story 1 and Update I would need more info about the daughter… but from what info we are given, it does sound like she emotionally cheated and then left her husband for greener pastures. Which, yeah, is pretty assholish-especially since she left her husband while he was mentally ill. I feel it is the married/long living partner’s duty is to at least make sure their ailing partner is taken care of (see “In sickness and health”).

[@ElleriaZer]

Fraking Amway....the reason im suspicious of *everyone* who randomly initiates conversation with me...

[@cindykq8086]

Wait, the daughter cheated on her husband and lied to her parents about it, and the PARENTS are the bad guys?? SMH. Anyone who's ok with the daughter's behavior needs to be cheated so they can finally understand why cheating is wrong.

[@InvasionAnimation]

story 1 she a ho ho ho. That guy is going to get booted once she finds yet another one.

[@Listrynne]

For the frazzled parents: when my daughter was 1 yo I hired a friend's 11 yo daughter to come learn baby care. She'd play with and feed my daughter while I had time to focus on chores. When they were both older she became my daughter's babysitter and it was nice because i had trained her how I wanted. If they want someone to feed baby while they throw some laundry in this might be a good solution.

[@cassiebones]

My parents were married for 25 years. When i was 15, they got separated. I had been kind of waiting for it for years at that point though. They always fought and never really showed each other affection. All my aunts were divorced (one remarried) and they had a lot of married friends who were very affectionate, so i knew my parents' relationship was off. They officially divorced when i was 17.

[@katiecakesl4691]

I'd try to argue it wasn't an intentional emotional affair if she just broke it off when she realized she caught feelings. However they started dating the very next day. I'm sorry but if I were the ex husband you would never be able to convince me that a physical affair didnt happen too.

[@kanelovec4315]

S1. If the daughter didn't seek a relationship during the marriage then the daughter is fine. Sometimes a person has to image a better side to finally leave. Kind of like something finally knocking her rose tinted glasses off. But if she was flirting and seeking a relationship during the marriage than it is cheating. Many divorce and even before papers are sign people find a one night stand or ask someone to date.

[@ruthsaunders9507]

She left her husband for another man. Its pretty straightforward. Of course her mother's disappointed.

[@ACAB.forcutie]

Story 2, often letting the other person a brief bit about what you're going through (I think being stuck inside during the pandemic regressed my social skills a bit, and I was already a bit of an awkward person..) 😅 that's what I do 🤷‍♀️

[@ComaLies225]

I think this is good. I would go into a quick yet jokey intro. I started a new job three months before lockdown then had to work from home. I felt like my social skills regressed due to the lack of contact with other people. I have social anxiety as well so that did not help lol

[@locusxe1411]

Story 1 NTA imo- So let me get this straight. Ops daughter knowingly had an emotional affair(no offense but I don’t believe for a second there was no physical stuff going on) and instead of divorcing her husband before she had they affair she just decided to cheat and then divorce? And Op is literally in the right. If the daughter wasn’t cheating, why did her face turn pale white when confronted? You shouldn’t stay in a marriage or relationship that you don’t want to be in but you be an adult and separate normally. Not go out and cheat to see something

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

Sounds your projecting a bit my guy. You pick and choose what parts of the story to believe as long as it benefits your view.

[@toosavage2537]

@@DragonbornMike-ym2er shut yo clown ass up lmao 🤣

[@owl7072]

​@DragonbornMike-ym2er She was confronted about what her friend said and immediately confirmed it. She literally admitted that she lied, that's not "picking and choosing" that's _listening to the story._

[@fiyahquacker2835]

@@DragonbornMike-ym2er sounds like you are the new boyfriend

[@AndreNDP]

@@owl7072 She admitted that she lied, but the bare minimum of what she couldn't get away with.

[@tavogeos6381]

imagine cheating on your husband because YOU work too much and he is DEPRESSED, wow.

[@michealwatts7469]

When it comes to relationships.. If you're not confiding in your SO, not trying out couples therapy, nothing (which we have no evidence of she just mentioned they had issues and she confided in someone else) She was already on her way out the door. She REALIZED it was wrong so she went for divorce. Sorry no that's an emotional affair.. Reddit was all for the "How much abuse does she have to take?" and mom comes with: "My daughter said there was no abuse" Reddit: ... Shit. Come on people..

[@GLoLChibs]

It's Reddit. They always assume a woman is being abused somehow, a teen is always manipulated into doing shitty things, and will fold themselves into origami trying to paint the nearest guy as the villain.

[@pikachu7572]

Another thought I had about this is they were together over 9 years and she just jumped into another relationship. Talk about emotionally stunted. Even a bad relationship, you need time to grieve and reflect after. Also, I don't think she realized she was wrong, she and that guy were finished courting and needed to move on to the next step. Like she waited until they were a viable option for each other and ready to commit. It's so dirty

[@pikachu7572]

@@GLoLChibs I think the reason reddit took her side is they kind of try to find the wrong parents do and like this op was asking questions about her daughter's life and that's a sin. But literally she's grown and should definitely expect her parents to notice her lies especially harmful ones. She's not some vulnerable kid being intruded on by a nosy stepparent

[@ILoveByakuya]

I love the heartwarming stories! I'm 32 too and damn is it hard to make friends lol

[@absolutelyridiculous6743]

I feel so awful for the OP who hasn't been allowed to have contact with people. One of my exes was like that to me. He would get invites to events that included me, but never told me about them. He'd sneak off to them and just tell me he was running late at work or was doing boy stuff. People thought I genuinely did not want to socialize, but that wasn't the truth at all. He was very controlling and jealous :/

[@naomimia3368]

The way I streaked with happiness for the second OP making friends! Yay! Ah, I'm so happy for her! 🎉😭

[@guywhowatchesvideos-z2e]

I would be judged for an awful act. Give it to a cheater to get the family to apologize to HER!

[@Ayimii]

My nonexistent future son is 100% going to be named Prince Awesome.

[@lianabaddley8217]

Sounds like the Perfect Son in Law name to me! I'm gonna tell my 2 girls to keep a lookout for that name! Lol 😊

[@trendingtiktokcompilation9392]

Wow, not reddit justifying cheating.

[@ronnieman87]

Not only reddit but Mark as well.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

The irony of AITA, a subreddit that literally judges people for their terrible actions, calling OP an asshole for judging her daughter for doing something terrible.

[@calebjenkins3086]

Its crazy how biased reddit and those addicted to it are toward woman.

[@ce731]

She didn't cheat -- she divorced him. How do you know he was happy with the divorce himself. Maybe the ex was depressed because he was not in love with her and didn't know how to end it.

[@calebjenkins3086]

People here "Till death do you part" and be like "Well the relationship is dead to me so thats good enough!"

[@lavanya7012]

lol i hope all these people from the comment section get cheated on by their spouse

[@J2982able]

Mark ... there is no 'moral gray zone' she was married, and carrying on an emotional affair. Whether or not the marriage was ending, it wasn't over. She cheated. By giving the new guy her time and love, she was taking it from her husband.

[@jrod1591]

She for sure lied about how bad her ex husband was. I bet it wasn’t even bad at all.

[@AusExplorer]

Bingo. The ex suddenly gets toxic or abusive once the cheater has to justify their cheating.

[@MacKenzieAkari]

21:16 THE WAY I AUDIBLY GASPED- IVE NEVER HEARD ANYONE ELSE TALK ABOUT ARFIDS BEFORE

[@BriannaWeldon]

What if the parents are waiting to be asked to come help? They moved to be closer but OP and spouse don’t think they want to help?

[@carlrood4457]

I think the last commenters hit the nail on the head. They specifically chose a difference that makes event attending easier, but not regular visits. It's just that at this point, the kids haven't had "events" outside of the older one's birthday and holidays, so they don't really see them more. If they were looking to actually help, they'd have moved closer. I remember an opposite situation I was in. I was offered the possibility to relocate for work. The new location would have put us about 3 hours from parents, so driving to see them rather than flying was an option. Close enough to drive, but far enough away that drop-ins (either way) were not possible. While we'd have been moving away from her parents, the distance to both sets would have been about even.

[@bafflebag1]

There are so many assumptions being made about the ex-husband and it turns out it was her that stepped out at his lowest point.

[@macylouwho1187]

Reddit: “OMG you totally had an emotional affair that led to your divorce! That is TERRIBLE to do to someone!” on every other Reddit post. This post-Reddit: OMG how could you NOT support your daughter’s emotional affair? (Not physical? SURE. Right. We haven’t seen this one before on here have we??? Chick likely monkey branched to an exciting new attentive partner the minute that she had problems in her marriage instead of seeking marriage counseling like we’ve seen one billion times before on Reddit stories. Apparently that’s what the majority people do if Reddit frequency is any indication-as well as looking around in real life at couples who break up). If this was the daughter telling this story she would be getting crucified for having an emotional affair and leaving her husband for someone new without working long and hard to fix things in her marriage AND for not being honest with him from the start. Ya’ll know it too, I swear 😂

[@concrete-d5v]

She was afraid to be judged for her affair so she kept it secret, well she should be judged for cheating. Cheating is definitely not streets ahead

[@jam1494]

Note to self, don't be in a relationship with any of those commenters in AITA story 1.

[@EnDB]

If this was a guy, confiding in a coworker, "hanging out"/ dating, and emotionally cheating, they would agree with OP. The husband didn't mistreat or abuse her, he was depressed and she dumped him for it.

[@LOLtz1]

I can't feel bad for a cheater. If the marriage was really that bad, why didn't OP daughter divorce first before cheating because she clearly didn't. The daughter was in the wrong in that situation and pretending it's not the case doesn't make her actions right. P.S. I want to see reddit have this same energy if the roles were reversed because ever story similar to this has reddit bashing the guy.

[@jamesrkrau2481]

The last story do you have a neighbor without kids. I would love to help someone with their children for free. I miss when my daughter was that age and would love to babysit.

[@amadorelizondo3848]

Story 1 NTA daughter is a cheater and cheated for months and expects her mother to believe that it only was calls, texts, and platonic hang out sessions alone at affair partners house until the divorce was final? 🙄😮‍💨

[@jodieg6318]

Story 1: honestly, too many missing missing reasons to make a call on it. The only thing I can really be certain of is no one can tell you how to feel. If OP feels disappointed with daughter or x reasons that's her peragotive. And if daughter fell out of love with her husband for x reasons that's also hers. Reddit is not the place to go for self reflection without comments that are projecting or generalization.

[@JustAGirlOnline]

Hey, Mark, wtf is with your opinion on Story One? Emotional Cheating IS Cheating.

[@RealJacior]

Mark has had a lot of bad takes lately

[@dianabialaskahansen2972]

What is wrong with reddit? The daughter was trash and even if there was no physical, she emotionally cheated on her husband. And then lied about it. If she was unhappy she should divorce and then find someone else, not monkey branch to the next person.

[@socketyellow3]

This comment section isn’t much better, they saying oh it’s fine she was gonna divorce him anyway because he was depressed

[@Jrskeetpro]

She fell in love with the guy because of her inappropriate relationship with the other guy… how is that being ignored by the commenters? lol

[@disodosid]

Story 2 made me so happyyy omggg and the ARFID representationnn yaaasss

[@telinhajp]

Good night, Markee! Wishing you a fabulous Thursday! おやすみ！ ❤️🤗

[@moodycrab77]

Awe, new friends' ❤❤❤stories gave me all the warm fuzzies

[@JR-zi4bj]

@Markee, or any other Australian. At [16:10] in the above video, Markee encounters the word "banal", as in "awkward or bANAL at first". In Canada, this word is pronounced "buh·NAL", while Markee (much to my admittedly juvenile sense of amusement,) read it aloud as BAY·nal (rhymes with anal). As this isn't the first time I've encountered this particular mispronunciation (not sure whether it was Markee, or Mark Narrations the other time), and I have too much free time right now, I thought I'd just come out and ask Markee: Was "bAnal" a one-time "whoopsie"/slip of the tongue for you, or is normal for everyone down-under? LoL, let's see if this gets me banned

[@TheAuthorgal]

Easy way to tell if it was cheating. Would your SO be welcome to hang out with this “friend” as well? I have platonic male friends and my husband is always welcome to hang out with us (and actually gets invited to hang out one-on-one with them). I knew them all first and they adopted him into the group. Something tells me that OP’s daughter would have considered her husband in the way at these “friendly hangouts.”

[@Tijggie82]

9 years is not 'bailing at the first sign of trouble'

[@JustAnotherBuckyLover]

Have to say, as a late-diagnosed autistic AFAB person with a ton of similarly late-diagnosed autistic AFAB friends, story 2 is sending me all kinds of "Undiagnosed autistic mom with autistic kiddo" vibes.

[@muhname6052]

Markee what? Emotional cheating isn't a moral Grey zone. Jesus. What's wrong with people. The problem isn't that she left. It's that she monkey branched before leaving.

[@IFAMILYIH]

SHE WENT TO THE GUYS HOUSE MANY TIMES SHE DEFINITELY CHEATED ON HER HUSBAND

[@melikeskalico3812]

100% NTA story 1 omg...

[@alexanderhenby1362]

The goal post moving on "emotional affairs" by reddit is outstanding. She made a friend at work that she found herself confiding in LIKE A FRIEND. I would hate for anyone on reddit to take their own advice and get into therapy. Enjoy your "emotional affair" with your therapist.

[@omnipossum92]

Well said

[@plaguenurse4399]

Feel like it’s weird that people in the s1 reddit comments are focusing more on the divorce than the affair?? Like would they prefer the emotional affair turned physical, the already depressed husband find out, so now he’s even more miserable and has to initiate the divorce himself cause it’s pretty unlikely she’d just magically fall in love with her ex again. Op’s nta though

[@sbradley3008]

All these people defending the girl or cheating on her husband including the moderator of this channel is disgusting. The odds are that she was having an emotional affair with her new boyfriend and that was the catalyst for the divorce. This story has been repeated so many times that you know the daughter was gaslighting. There was no indication that the husband was mistreating her that's pure speculation that always points the finger at the man. For those saying it's none of her mom's business, you never stop being a parent.

[@darknessmage7459]

Story 1, if ops daughter was a son the judgements would be entirely different.

[@pxel64]

The comments on the first story are mind boggling. Like I could understand some of their point of views if she had tried to make things work, but it doesn't seem like she did. Did she try couple's therapy? Seeing if she could change her schedule? Communicate with him at all? Maybe, left that information out, but I can't imagine she wouldn't have mentioned what she did to try to make things work if she had. Sounds like her daughter checked out of the relationship and went running off to her new coworker to complain instead of seeing if there was anyway to fix this. I'm not saying she had to try forever, but she could have at least put in some effort. Instead, she had an emotional affair, realized what was happening, got a divorce and IMMEDIATELY started dating her new man. Could she have at least waited for the ink to dry? I feel bad for her ex in all this, because this probably just sent him into a complete spiral. I think the reason she was afraid to tell her mom the truth was because she knew she did something fucked up and didn't want her mom to be disappointed in her. For the last story everyone had bad takes too, honestly. Why is it so bad to ask for help? If she had asked, gotten a no, and then demanded help then yeah she'd be TA, but that's not the case. OP is looking to ask for some help, that's not bad. I would bring my daughter over to my parent's house on an occasional weekend when I had things I needed to do (she was also born during 2020 so I couldn't do plenty of things with her for her health.) Usually it was for a couple of hours at most and my parents LOVED spending time with their grandbaby. Reddit is so obviously filled with people that don't have kids, because they never seem to understand what parents can go through. Even the most prepared parents can have a hard time and need help. Point is, it doesn't hurt to ask, it only becomes a problem when you don't accept the answer you get.

[@inez5110]

It can considered be an emotional affair because she confided in someone else during a hard part of her relationship in a way she would with a partner. That's why she fell for the other dude. I ain't mad at her and barely think it was an emotional affair honestly and I think she made the right decision to leave, but it's understandable for the mom to be disappointed, because to some people, the wife wasn't being completely faithful. But the wife definitely needed to leave!! But it was just a sad situation and I'm glad that OPs daughter is doing better, and I hope her ex husband is as well!

[@socketyellow3]

She started to have problems because she started to “work” longer hours. The worse thing she could have come up with for her husband was he was depressed. Probably from the lack of seeing his wife and her growing distant while dressing better then she normally does. Giving him small ideas she cheating, making him depressed and the cheater starts to whine that her husband is so depressed she’s cheating on him.

[@socketyellow3]

You know for a fact that those extended hours included her hanging out with her affair partner

[@inez5110]

@@socketyellow3 I didn't hear the part but I agree, I consider what she did an emotional affair but I can understand that some people may not. But either way, she treated another person as her partner (at least emotionally) while she was married and that's not right IMO. Usually reddit hates emotional cheating so I'm a little surprised by the comments honestly!

[@eye-chan1711]

@@socketyellow3Several things. That isn’t how depression works. Second, your logic would mean the only person OP can spend time with is her depressed husband… and depressed people aren’t very fun to be around(at least most of the time). So she would work long hours and then only be allowed to spend time with her depressed husband… that honestly sounds like a recipe for disaster. Honestly wouldn’t be surprised if it made her depressed.

[@sorachitheeggo4440]

@@eye-chan1711 That's not even a little bit what they said. Wife confided in someone else about the problems in her marriage, when she should have been doing that with her husband. it's one thing to ask for help from others, but when you have conversations you SHOULD be having with your spouse in order to work on/strengthen your marriage, you are treating that other person as your spouse. You are being more emotionally committal to someone else in this case, doing something you wouldn't even do with your spouse and that is wrong.

[@rachaelclark8465]

In laws story, I had 3 babies in diapers. I had zero help. I don't understand people nowadays.

[@Detector1977]

s1: reddit making 50 billion excuses for the daughter's cheating.

[@stormkive4356]

i rmbr story one, its so bizarre all the comments read ops post in the nastiest way possible bc i dont think its judgmental to think its disappointing ur daughter emotionally cheated on her husband?? shes not punishing her daughter or withholding anything from it ?? she just feels disappointed her daughter did smth wrong, other details are barely relevant bc ops feelings are valid and she didnt do any asshole behaviors after the fact. and the edit makes it even clearer that all the comments projecting extra details to defend the daughter werent needed bc the daughter herself came clean about feeling ashamed about her actions. ppl are so weird

[@EllieC130]

If Story 2 ain't the most relatable shit bar me not being a mum.

[@rhondasisco-cleveland2665]

Childcare story: I think the commenters are the AHs. Whatever happened to family time or it takes a village…. Just because THEY hate children, doesn’t mean you can’t invite family to come over for a play day. She wasn’t asking them to babysit, for Pete’s sake. It’s NORMAL for grandparents to spend time with their children & grandchildren. I hope OP didn’t take those comments seriously.

[@Juggtacula]

First story isn't a moral gray area at all. She had a full fledged emotional affair, then divorced after she was already deep in the affair fog. No abuse from her husband, she just wasn't happy. If she'd just said she wasn't happy and left, that would've been fine. But you know what she did was wrong Markee.

[@beast11135]

I stayed with someone for far longer then I should have bevause I felt bad for her. It was a mistake. I ended up In debt and I'm trying to catch up now that I don't need to pay for 2 people to live In an apartment with only my income for the last year.

[@priam2882]

She can live her own life and be happy without OPs support she's an adult

[@thehoogard]

Such double standards, disgusting.

[@salomerodriguez5145]

Markee this is kinda the second time I'm a bit confused by your use of the term missing missing reasons 😂

[@loganr6203]

Everyone saying that Emotional affairs arent really cheating i hope your so has one and i hope you keep that same attitude. Also two adults do not hang off each other for months without having sex im sorry but thats not realistic

[@meganfulton3563]

I mean it says they hung out together with friends so it’s unlikely that it was ever physical

[@loganr6203]

@@meganfulton3563 the person who cheated says that? Forgive me for not believing it

[@RealJacior]

​@@meganfulton3563 The person who already lied about it once and is already trying to avoid being judged? Yeah don't believe that

[@rmisionero]

You guys are forgetting the most important thing. They were having marital issues and she decided to step out. I would feel utterly humiliated if my children cheated on their spouses instead of being responsible adults and worked things out. Emotional cheating is cheating. A stranger should not know what intimate things were going on in their marital life. That is no one's business. If it were a bad marriage and nothing could be saved, then leave the marriage. Don't use a fling to catapult yourself into a new relationship. It's scummy behavior. I agree with the mother for being disappointed with her. I will also make it clear to my children how good relationships work and how bad behavior affects relationships like OP's daughter.

[@ce731]

It is none of the mother's business. And you are missing the ex's point of view. How do you know he wasn't happy to get divorced. Maybe he was depressed because he was in a loveless marriage and didn't know how to get out!

[@juandavid03]

​@@ce731happy to get divorced is different than "happy to be cheated on by the woman that's supposed to love you" she's 100% in the wrong, and is a cheater for her actions. The mother is right, she CAN AND SHOULD feel disappointed by having raised a crap human being. If a relationship is bad, you leave it, you don't cheat. That makes you the immediate AH.

[@robertx8020]

Cheating is ok if you are in a bad relation or think or say that you are in a bad relation..< making metal note>

[@Poke-Chann]

I think everyone’s missing the fact she got married when she was 18. You can’t even drink a beer at 18, you’ve probably never lived on your own, you’ve just graduated highschool. There’s a huge chance that as actual adults now, they weren’t compatible. We have no idea how long they were having issues in their marriage but it’s fairly safe to assume since the married when they were basically kids that it’s been troubled for a while. She finally had the realization when she, as a grown adult now, figured out that there were people more compatible out there. What should she have done, stayed in the doomed relationship and hope it fixes itself?

[@Poke-Chann]

To be clear I don’t think it’s cheating when after feeling a spark of feelings for another person you end the current relationship. You control your actions, not your feelings. Actions are cheating. If she didn’t flirt with him or kiss him or fuck him or whatever, and when she realized she felt romantically for him she immediately took action to make sure she wasn’t leading her husband on, that’s not cheating.

[@gerrymichaud3851]

God Amway. I worked at Wal-Mart for 2.5 years while going to tech school. I had so many people try to get me to sell Amway. I told them that I don't like people enough to try to sell to them things.

[@maurer3d]

Story 2: Ummm, just act like yourself. As for topics to avoid, religion and politics, but that is really all the advise one can give you without knowing the people you are meeting.

[@robincoffman6723]

A year is not too soon while I am pretty sure we got the short version of O P s daughter s marriage breakup, may it was the last of a list of things that led to the divorce, we can not know for sure

[@princepk5575]

Hello Markee!