Marriage Counseling - Living With An Alcoholic Husband

Marriage Counseling -www.thecouplese... - Living With An Alcoholic Husband
Welcome to today's edition of 3 Minutes with Stuart! Today's topic is How to Live With An Alcoholic Husband or Wife?
We're starting to do something new this week by launching a separate playlist for married couples specifically as well as a separate playlist for general relationship advice.
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This week our marriage counseling focus is alcoholism. So first, I will explain what Alcoholism is.
What Does it Mean to Be an Alcoholic or Have Alcohol Problems?
I define being an alcoholic like this; if you handle life's problems and stresses by drinking alcohol, you have an alcohol problem.
Having an alcoholic spouse is a sickness in your relationship and really to get past it seeking out an alcoholic treatment program as well as entering into family or marriage counseling is not a bad idea. In fact, I recommend it.
Learn the best cure for a family with an alcoholic here: • Marriage Counseling: ...
It's important to identify any underlying issues that may be the root cause of the desire to drink because what we do know is that alcoholism is a coping skill. I define alcohol problems as, "If your using alcohol to cope with life's stresses, you have an alcohol problem."
Your husband needs help. Do not take responsibility for your husbands drinking. Also don't start monitoring him. Alcoholism is a family illness. That means that you need to be taking care of yourself and put yourself in recovery also.
Be realistic about your expectations and do not hide the impact that his drinking has on you, especially the pain that it causes you. It's important that you really have a plan to get rid of this disease that is coming between you and your husband, and possibly even destroying your family. I have resources on my website that can help. You can check them out here:
www.thecouplese...
Also, go hear to read about how we can help with alcohol addiction:
www.thecouplese...
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[@Bravegirl2024]

Just Divorce, It never gets better 🙌

[@CM-jk5tf]

35 year marriage. My husband revolves his life around alchol. He has problems with reading. I get to handle all the finances. Anything that requires reading. He has never been able to hold a job. I have stood by him all these years. I myself monitor his drinking. I am physically becoming ill. I feel like I am surviving for both of us. I am completely exhausted. It's to the point that when he calls my name it irritates me so bad that I want him to call me something else.

[@janett.beauty3684]

This is my life now. My husband constantly drinks. Stress is his trigger, it’s a big problem in our marriage. It also snowballs into more arguments, he usually starts them..

[@emilyedgington2430]

Mine too.. & after almost 12years I feel completely empty 😔

[@treehuglil]

I have lost yrs of my life wasted with my husband. How did things get like this.... He will look at me in the face and lie... We used to be happy..... I hate my life. I'm 52 and I am miserable. But scared to death to start over.

[@valwolve]

Walk away!

[@kdlofty]

Addicts don't care about the pain they cause.

[@MichelePernerBlum]

I lived with an alcoholic husband for 15 years until he died from pancreatic cancer. It was hell and it was awful and I had no support system in fact I had a family that protected the alcoholic and I was the bad wife for not loving him more because he was " broken" . It was crazy and I am relieved he died. I know that sounds cruel but I am. He was just unhappy and there was nothing that could fix it.

[@pamridenour5824]

Im there right now.

[@hpotts663]

I understand that as my husband is an alcoholic, sometimes I wish him dead, other people don't understand what his drinking does to me

[@pamridenour5824]

@@hpotts663 God does. And He cares.

[@TheOnlooker65]

All very well but when my husband was drinking, he lied, paid no attention to how it was impacting on me. He stole, he made life too stressful, impossible, not know from one moment to the next whether he was going to be falling down drunk, lose his job, kill someone driving drunk. At 70 I could cope no more, I left, He finally stopped drinking, I came back - but i will never, never forget...

[@karenadams2512]

Yes it's a life of hell I know. Hope life is better for you now. God bless.

[@loidabaez7747]

My bf is a alcoholic. I love him and don't want to give up on him. This has helped me. Because I find myself obsessing over him, cause he doesn't answer the phone when he is drunk. I need to stop thinking I did something wrong. I worry about him all day, cause I don't want anything to happen to him. I need to start living my life, or I will go crazy

[@thecouplesexpert7621]

Check this out it may be helpful a podcast I did on this topic. www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/2016/11/marriage-counseling-living-with-an-alcoholic-husband/

[@Marshallmallowlol]

I am an alcoholic and it hit me like a truck when I realized that I did this to my ex gf

[@shanasheree5563]

I been with an alcoholic for 9 years .finally decided to choose me .I realized that I have to look after me and my daughter ..I can't change him .he went to so many treatments and I just can't be around him while he's intoxicated . so ,I been living alone for almost a year .I feel less stressed and I am at peace. All his broken promises and betrayal from drinking caused me to grow in a beautiful way .I feel stronger and now I realize my worth .He won't change .It's a cycle .he hid it everything so well till he couldn't anymore.I was very depressed at one point in my life but I got myself out of that rut and got help .I feel much better it's possible for sure . Best of luck to anyone who is in a relationship with an alcoholic .

[@loidabaez7747]

@@shanasheree5563 I am happy for u that you finally found the courage to move on. I did the same thing after 3 years. I couldn't take it anymore. I thought I could help him, but he had to help himself. I got tired of worrying everyday about him. I also feel at peace. I felt guilty for leaving at first, but now I know that was the best decision. I will never go back. You deserve better and so do I.

[@adri.nicole]

@@shanasheree5563 I also hate being around my bf when he gets drunk😓🤦🏻‍♀️ Hella embarrassing & humiliating!! It also sucks when you don’t have a family to run to when you go through tough situations. It’s been financially difficult for me to leave my boyfriend (baby daddy) I’ve dated for 5 years and I left him after 2 years, but eventually got back with him bc “things got better”. It’s been a while now that I’ve accepted he isn’t going to change. Even worse that it does run in his family. How can someone say that they want to change but don’t put in any effort! I’ve been too fed up with everything! It’s a new year and I will do my best this year to change my situation so that my daughter and I don’t have to keep living like this.😢

[@lucyvaladez8956]

As a Christian I feel so much conviction if I leave my boyfriend . I love him but I have my moments where I feel depressed ... I want to help him but I’m not strong enough . I pray on it and I keep asking god what should I do ... I ask for strength to keep going , it’s heartbreaking that I see all these comments about their husbands or wives that are alcoholics. I get anxiety and I don’t ever think I experienced anxiety this bad before. I pray that you may all find peace in your lives . May god bless you and watch over you and your families ❤️

[@lindamiles5035]

We are in exactly the same position x

[@lucyvaladez8956]

@@lindamiles5035 I’m sorry sister, is ur husband or bf a believer ? Have you guys tried talking to a pastor to help lead you both ?

[@lindamiles5035]

@@lucyvaladez8956 I am a believer, he isn't

[@lucyvaladez8956]

@@lindamiles5035 is he open to talking to a pastor with you? Cause my bf is a believer but he still has trouble and he needs more support and guidance , we are trying a new church and we’re going to talk to a pastor and I pray it works because honestly if it doesn’t and he’s still the same way then I might have to leave because my mental health is important too . It’s hard tho because the Bible convicts me about marriage even tho we aren’t married but have a kid together . I really want my family but I go back and forth thinking about if I’m really meant to be with him or not . I’m a big over thinker and lately I feel like I don’t hear god talking to me . Demons have been attacking me more lately and I feel so alone at times and I just want to runaway . Linda I’m going to be praying for you and your husband 🙏🏻❤️

[@lindamiles5035]

@@lucyvaladez8956 No he wouldn't

[@HannaARTzink]

We practically nurture alcoholics. Courts and cops are numbed by aveisive laws. Mandatory rehab and financial restriction is needed, boot camp for the stronger ones to pay the family living and recoup costs

[@amentertainment8619]

My husband always drink alcohol every night... We always fight because his behavior changes, thinks negatively about me like being jealous, even there isn't anything. I got chills everytime he's drunk, I'm angry, I suddenly scold him, but he didn't listen. So stressed, we've been living together 11 years. What should I do? When he is not drunk, he's behaved, cooked food for me, lift and pick me up at work, and sweet. He's jobless. I don't know how to explain my feelings every night when he is drunk, I'm tired all day at work. Sometimes we always quarrel. I've been crying always, there is no year where I didn't cry because of LQ.

[@nahiannaower3908]

Hi can we talk? We hv same issues.

[@janice093084]

Hi what happen to you now?

[@millicentmutua3654]

Facing the same, need to get out of this

[@karen_smith]

I've tried everything that I can. but it's hard to dwell with a husband who's family are also alcoholic. Instead of them telling him to stop, they are also the one who invites him to drink. even during holidays I felt like I was left alone all the time because instead of celebrating with us, he would always choose on drinking with his siblings. his brother also do the same thing with his wife and kids that they just ignores us and they think that we are contented being the one who takes care of our child and helping them with their food. He lied to me once again and went straight to his brother after work and drunk. He only goes home anytime he wanted so he cane back at morning. He never even said sorry to me like nothing happened so I told him that I don't want to talk to him. so he left me and my kids and he went back to his mom. He said that I should take care of the kids and grab all his clothes. I cried but I don't want to deal with an immature boy all my life. being married to him for 10 years are full of crying depression and pain. so I guess this is for the best for us

[@a.l.a7901]

This is the story of my life. I am so sorry. ❤

[@jenneyryan]

So sorry!

[@cynique46]

You did right by letting him leave. Your peace is everything. We have to understand that these people are sick and we can't do anything to change them. They have to want to change. They have to do the work not us.

[@tm4465]

We went to counseling and the counselor , ( I wish I could remember her name) told us my husband’s drinking was not a problem.!! Since then my husband tells me that when I bring it up. I don’t see her anymore.

[@neurologicalworms]

Huh.. this is the very worst outcome of counseling EVER...

[@agborruth8707]

Am facing this problem and is really eating me up. The thing is that am afraid to live him because we have kid's together. He takes care of his children but I can't stay in the same room with him when he drinks, it smells bad and it really affect my health. Pls help me with what to do.

[@73starrdiva]

A "relationship"? That's a funny word to me. It's gone so far, and with his hardcore denial, it's won't go anywhere. I had to get help for MYSELF. 😢

[@melissaolliff3272]

I feel like I am in the same place you were..right now(

[@73starrdiva]

On June 10 (4am). I had my last argument with a drunk. I left. I came back later that afternoon with my uncle and father to get my cat and my clothes. 😢 Some May have the “strength” to live with one, but 9 years was my limit.

[@73starrdiva]

Al-Anon has helped ALOT also.

[@Multiman40]

@@73starrdiva I am at 9 years too, she is driving me to depression, I am totally exhausted. She won't seek help, promises the world and delivers zero.

[@etherealenergy9471]

I understand I have been married to my husband for eighteen years we have three kids, and one severe autistic. It is not easy for me to just leave because another man would not want to deal with what I go through everyday with my son. My husband was a drinker when I met him but it got really worse over the years to the point he gets blasted every night. I understand the stress of this situation can get to people, but that is not an excuse to not take in to consideration of my feelings or others around him. He even hides his beers or lies and says he is having two beers when it is four in two with big cans. Just an insult to my intelligence. It just feels like he does things because he has to not because of feelings for me or care about me. I even got to the point I don't even care if we have sex. I just think if someone is doing this to their family they really don't love them I'm sorry but an addiction is just not an excuse to be stupid, and throw everything away. I can't look at him as being a strong inspiring man if he lets this weakness destroy him. If you meet someone who has a couple drinks every now, and then just move on eventually it just turns in to an addiction. I want to feel like I'm his addiction to love. As much as I would not want a divorce I can't see going on with someone who will not care to change. This is not a relationship with love there is someone out there who will love, and appreciate you as a person besides our father in heaven. Sometimes we just and up with people we were not meant to be with, but taught us life lessons in those times.

[@roberthigham7499]

got sober.she's not coming back,don't blame her

[@stephaniejordan9066]

Robert Higham 😀👍

[@emokiriemiabednegoabed2844]

Smartness is important in a relationship and cyberhackinggenius helped cloned my husband’s phone and I got access to all his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his phone. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with cyberhackinggenius and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from my phone without having to touch his phone. My husband was a cheating Narcissist and I’m glad to find out all his secrets and infidelity with the help of cyberhackinggenius. I’m here in UK and able to access my husband’s phone messages with a link on my phone even while he was away in Canada cheating on me. I got to discover that my husband who is legally married to me here in UK is also recently married to another woman in Canada and I’m finally going through a divorce with lots of evidence against him. I read all his Whatsapp, Facebook,Skype,Instagram and Snapchat messages Including the deleted text and recent messages. You can contact this great Hacker Gavin via Gmail (cyberhackinggenius) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp : [phone] and don’t forget to thank me later.

[@karenadams2512]

She's not coming back? Serves you right. Unless you have God in your heart and life don't go ruin somebody else's life. Loser

[@TheRozzyDozzy]

@@karenadams2512 how do you live with yourself being so mean to people? Alcoholism is a medical/mental health condition and the gentleman said he got it together. Now he has to deal with his own shame and guilt. No need to kick someone when they were down. Gross.

[@alisiahart6670]

Advice.if i separate mentally or emotionally from my AH he will get even more angry and threaten to kick me out...

[@GreciaPetry]

He sounds like a narcissist. In one word: RUN!

[@Germatti13489]

Plan your escape. Save as much as you can.

[@tional5266]

I hope you’re not taking that manipulation to heart, if you’re married he has no authority to kick you out it’s just an intimidation tactic. Prepare yourself to go elsewhere and IF he gets it under control for a year you’ll think about coming back

[@dq6169]

How can people give you advice on something they’ve never lived through?

[@shelleyj5939]

Agreed :/

[@tlsglenn9728]

Exactly

[@samia6888]

Sometimes they see how bad it is and we can’t. They are usually the ones that say “just leave” or “just get help” like it’s easy to do but it’s because they can see how bad it is while we can’t (or at least can’t see the full extent of it cause we love the alcoholic so much)

[@allisonb.8492]

Just fyi Doc, the words alcoholism, love and family don’t mix. Sadly.

[@keatomic]

And there are no videos about an alcoholic wife who hits me.

[@DMarie-qg4jp]

Run! And don't look back

[@chilloften]

It’s vice versa for you. We’re all human beings.

[@Melissa-kl9li]

violence is never ok regardless of who is doing it. I am sorry this has happened to you. I hope you have gotten out of this abuse or it has stopped.

[@jahtodwizzy1513]

Thank you very much for your advice alcoholic is trying to kill me

[@marlo2606]

I watched george and tammy and that was my breaking point. I threw him out again.

[@matthewwilliams5432]

Im a train wreck i need help

[@thecouplesexpert7621]

Matthew If that's the case I would highly recommend you consider seeking out an individual or couples counselor to help you.

[@msganache900]

Jesus loves you! He can and will set you free if you just ask.

[@lindamiles5035]

Want to talk?

[@lindamiles5035]

Want to talk?

[@seewsurnvidya4728]

My husband is alcoholic and blames me for everything and insults me and my family. I have two small children.

[@karenbrowne9332]

There is no such thing as a “ typical woman” !

[@anthonylopez300]

i was on board until you started pluggin yourself

[@Acefull-pl1iu]

It's funny I bet he was an alcoholic before but she doesn't say s*** about it until she's married to him LOL that's a typical woman thinking she could fix a guy and then gets mad when he won't change.