Married Couple Moves Apart | {THE AND} Effua & Doctor

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Effua & Doctor, married for 10 years, explore a new stage in their relationship as their different perspectives on New York City have them living apart. Watch as Doctor admits a question he’s been hesitant to ask Effua about her move away and take a moment to appreciate their bond as they open up to each other throughout their endearing conversation.
We'd like to thank Effua & Doctor for participating openly & vulnerably in our project. We appreciate what they've shared with us and hope you do as well.
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Executive Director | Topaz Adizes
Director | Nick D'Agostino
Producers | Nick D'Agostino & Mériem Dehbi-Talbot
Cameras | Nick D'Agostino, Ashika Kuruvilla & Lafi
With the Participation of | Effua & Doctor
Married Couple Moves Apart | {THE AND} Effua & Doctor
#theskindeep #marriage #relationships

[@keilah4039]

I'm grateful for media like {THE AND} which share beautiful stories of black love that we already knew existed.

[@Comp1337e]

That's a great point.

[@adennega556]

I didn't think it existed anymore but this platform disproved that thought. Thank you skin deep!

[@TheCertifiedPretti]

Keilah Yesss! Facts!

[@taketan8858]

Yes!

[@reginaldfairfield]

@@adennega556 ... Are you Black?

[@maryjane2965]

He really misses her and you can tell that he is not fine with the long Distance situation.

[@SavySavannah.]

Yes, yes and yes. I can tell that he just wants to be connected to her constantly, but she’s has more of an independent spirit. Not that she’s tryna have her own way and just do her own thing, but she’s comfortable with being by herself at times.... whereas I don’t think he really wants that. It’s almost like, part of their journey incorporates her still fulfilling certain dreams and goals that she had before they met, whereas he is ready to do life together completely.

[@warreng5394]

She just hates New York...

[@jillchinnt]

Their love feels like a warm blanket with a cup of tea on a rainy day.. If that makes sense😂

[@Grace1708]

Jill C. Omg yes! So much warmth ☺️

[@mcgougainmediaworks5084]

Yes questions lead to a deeper understanding or at least may lead to one.

[@mcgougainmediaworks5084]

Thanks for the poetic display of kindness.🥰🥰💪

[@smallerthanlife7664]

Their love feels like a warm blanket on a rainy day and a cup of tea a few counties over where the sun is shining.

[@purplek5218]

💯😍

[@otislee2]

I can feel the love they have for one another, but there’s more to this story...

[@sergine41]

I thought I was the only to notice that.

[@chatp89]

He’s looking like you’re saying all these things but your actions say something else but you got it !

[@jloera899]

This is so sad. I can see the hurt in his eyes. It was her decision to move you can tell he didn’t want it to happen. He just accepted it because it was either to have her from a distance or not have her at all. He loves her, He mentioned their life being like a movie and having the constant keeping it going and that this is their biggest challenge. She sugar coats it to not make it sound so bad. He doesn’t want it. He asked her why she moved? He doesn’t clearly understand why? He’s conflicted. In a way he feels like he wasn’t enough to keep her happy. She is going to do her own thing regardless on what her spouse says and his choice to stay is just to prove to her that he also has some self respect for himself and doesn’t want to leave everything for her because she didn’t do the same for him. He does love her and she loves him. They love each other but not enough to compromise. He too will find out that even if you promise each other til death do you apart, in reality the only person you know you truly have for the rest of your life is yourself. You need to love yourself before loving anyone else and put yourself first. Self love is the best type of love. I’m currently living his story. He’s hurting.

[@westcoastcali703]

@Aqua Aqua...well said. Re:ur own situation I pray for the very BEST...STAY STRONG! ♡

[@vaughnallen3849]

Its crazy cause I thought I was the only man who did exactly this. Im in the same boat as him! Here in NY w/ my Son and Her 1300 miles away with my daughter. ugghhhhh, I cant

[@veronacasimpson344]

Did she answer?

[@shannasansom]

He doesn't want to leave NY. Change is hard for some people. She had two choices stay in a place she hates or move somewhere that gives her peace. He said go find peace. He chose NYC over his love for her.

[@vaughnallen3849]

@@shannasansom That's away of looking at it. However if you apply that principal or reverse that sentiment what is the difference. He said NY is to him what This place she is to her. I mean it's no right or wrong, just which one is really more or less willing to compromise their habitat for love. And clearly the love for oneself will come second to none Everytime.

[@sandrabenitez3665]

The way her eyes shine when she looks at him... you can tell they’re in love LOVE 🥺💗

[@MiMenteOnLine]

Pero por qué la cara triste?

[@laurenrosario5702]

Her moving away from him truly hurt him on a deep level. He might understand some of it but that doesn't make it hurt less. They clearly love each other but I don't know if I'd be able to handle my husband moving away from me but still being committed. It would definitely make me feel Insecure or as if i am temporary.

[@blairnicolle3324]

Lauren Rosario My husband moved away a month and a half ago 4 months into our marriage for a job. You wouldn’t believe the insecurities I feel on the inside. It’s stressful as hell and deep down i do feel like he took the job to be away since he never suggested me and my daughter join him. I already suffer from abandonment issues and this just intensify everything. Everyday I try my best to think and be positive with his “good morning babe” texts and telephone calls, but it’s not the same. Truth be told, my heart broke as well as any faith for my marriage left the day he did. I wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone. 💔

[@OhhhhLola]

@@blairnicolle3324 this broke my heart. Please tell me that things are better since time has passed since your post

[@HappinessTheBrand]

@@blairnicolle3324 Oh wow, how are y'all doing now Blair?

[@fatumahkukundanabulime6258]

@@blairnicolle3324 Hey Beautiful just checking in since the time you wrote this comment...I hope hope hope deeply that you are doing well and are happy🥺.....Your comment broke my heart and I really wish I could share your pain...

[@moniqueuu8777]

She's his world He's accepting this space, is grateful for any time spent with her and he deserves better. Unfortunately, can't control our hearts.

[@ahtikahalim9033]

Why does he deserve better? It seems they love each other dearly

[@SoulSearch11110]

She's not his world but a part of it.

[@Yaya-no7ip]

Yes he needs to find someone better

[@QuinshunCarswell]

She's tired. Period. She didn't just wake up one day and decide she wanted to move after 10 years of marriage. There's a difference between being in love with someone and having love for them.

[@Fluer-de-Lis]

Amen.

[@daniellegracey6868]

I'm at this crossroad in my marriage, I want a break and he doesn't

[@chatp89]

He still wants to know why. She is tired of him. I feel like she’s peeling away but she’s scared to completely let go

[@ahtikahalim9033]

She explained that her moving has nothing to do with him, this is completely made up by your perception

[@chatp89]

@@ahtikahalim9033 right. My opinion

[@naichar9475]

2 beautiful people who clearly love each other BUT...... there’s something underlying that they are both avoiding talking about

[@AngelAustin]

Exactly.

[@Babarticus]

Yeah, he needs to lose some weight.

[@gottaluvpink89]

Lmao! Both of y’all need to simmer down 🤣😂

[@ariamisak8039]

I think there could be religion rift amongst them --she said her wish for him was to study theology but i think he is a rapper. It seems like she wants to move on from the life she had before --you can see it in her eyes, longing to be with him and the life they shared but some thing was stopping her. Just from the hints i picked up...

[@sydlauren758]

This !

[@_heyimbritt]

He is so hurt....man 😕 She was being sweet and friendly she speaks about him like a friend not like her husband. He’s still in the marriage and it seems like she has moved on or is moving on. She kept it light and he followed her ques but there is something that appears to be missing for her in the marriage. Wish we knew the whole story...this was beautiful though.

[@kibrown9480]

This is so heartbreaking ...you can see he’s hurting😔

[@lovesecretangels]

You can see little cues that she's not being honest, I think she's breaking inside. She says she's not tired of him, but she's nodding her head yes.

[@makedabrown215]

lovesecretangels could it be the long distance that’s really hard?

[@ariamisak8039]

I think there could be religion rift amongst them --she said her wish for him was to study theology but i think he is a rapper. It seems like she wants to move on from the life she had before --you can see it in her eyes, longing to be with him and the life they shared but some thing was stopping her. Just from the hints i picked up...

[@herovids1197]

@@ariamisak8039 since when can't a rapper rap about something meaningful and conscious?! Theology is not a far stretch. Many underground rappers rap about real things. Rap was born of real issues and not this bs promoted on the radio.

[@kaykeescorner]

And she nodded her head "no" when she said I love you so much

[@sergine41]

I feel the same. She is not being transparent.

[@alleykatt6110]

Maybe if more married people stood in their honesty like these two and take a step back from each other when needed, their relationship and marriage might survive......just one woman’s opinion. They love each other “wholistically”!

[@samjanthablinks]

Yvonne Edwards holistically*

[@alleykatt6110]

Sam Brink Sam, if you listened closely to their conversation, he put emphasis on stating that he loved her “Whole-listically.... in all her wholeness! So there was no need to correct my spelling.... I listened to the “whole” conversation and pronunciations he used.

[@eprahs1]

@@samjanthablinks WHOLISTICALLY

[@chustar2620]

I love the connection that they're showing right now. harmonious. I hope their long-distance relationship doesn't put a rift between them.

[@user-hu3fr7jb2v]

Very Interesting... i may be wrong but i feel like the woman loves him very much and IF possible he loves her more or at least differently. I get the impression that he offers or supports her decision to be free in a sense. so much so that she has the ability to live away from him and the child they created. i get the impression(metaphorically) that he is indeed her very own family tree, firmly planted and deeply rooted to one place in paticular. she is his free bird. she flies high in the sky but always returns to check in and touch bases with thoses she loves... Nevermind Me, this is just what i heard and what i see.

[@applejackzo]

I like it. I see it.

[@tatakiminu1691]

Beautiful and beautiful. Thanks for the insight !

[@Chen-my1ks]

But how considerate/fair is that? There is also a child (whether adult or not) involved. Your description sounds cute on the surface though but also a little narcissistic....

[@Harvester88]

@@Chen-my1ks I mean if they have the mindset to make it work then it is fine. It sounds awkward since it isn't the norm but it could work if the couple is on the right wavelength with each other.

[@user-hu3fr7jb2v]

@@Chen-my1ks Never said it was fair. i simply described the impression i got. not my place to be outraged and feel pity for an adult male. he can just as easily walk away from the relationship as she does if he were that unhappy but he seems to be perfectly ok with his marriage. which makes it ok by me... Example - just imagine if she were some famous journalist, musician, actor or author. they have families and produce children that they are not around. they travel and work away from their families and leave the child with the other parent to raise... its the same for this couple only they are as normal as you and me. good day!

[@DrBella]

I hope she watched this and saw the pain in his eyes, I truly do hope so. I’m all for you going to any length to find your peace and harmony but I truly do wish they get through it because this man is hurting.

[@cjohn250cj]

Her moving does not seem to be about the relationship, it sounds like she is possibly following a needed career driven dream,a goal, or internal need that was only possible by her moving. But if she says that to him then it sounds like she is choosing some entity over them, and she doesnt want to communicate that. It doesnt seem like moving was in any way a negative reaction from a bad experience in the relationship. Their love feels real and it feels like something everyone should strive for. He is a little hurt by her moving so shes trying to be soft. Like in the end she tried to let him know that she wanted him to have dreams and go chase them, but she never communicated their relationship ending.

[@simini1837]

IT takes a lot of strengh and courage to be so vulnerable to ask your partner on THE AND whether she is tired of you. I applaud this man for this and for taking care of their kid. I hope they can work things out because their current situation doesnt seem ideal for both of them.

[@mcgougainmediaworks5084]

It's a little more complicated than you could know. She has our child and she moved to give him a chance to be closer to her family. Yet, it's hard to share all of this in a short q and a based on selected questions. Thanks for watching and sharing. You can judge but you only know a piece of the story. I appreciate all of the comments because it shows we as human beings care for one another and are willing to support and help each other. God bless you all.

[@simini1837]

DSTEVE McGougain Hello DSTEVE, I apologise for misunderstanding the situation and maybe hurting your feelings. From some things said in the video i got the impression that only your wife moved out and you and your child stayed in New York. I dont judge you, the comment was meant as a compliment to you for being vulnerable. I see this as a strengh! I wish you and your wife and child a happy and healthy life in whatever way of living feels comfortable to you all.

[@mcgougainmediaworks5084]

I appreciate you for that. It's ok...thanks for watching, caring and communicating. That was kind of you. God bless.

[@simini1837]

DSTEVE McGougain all the best to the three of you!!

[@westcoastcali703]

@@simini1837 ....I understood what u meant...and ur a GOOD PERSON for being sensitive to him in ur responses. Thanks for having a KIND soul.

[@richardkennedy1508]

This is a really dope concept, the art of conversation is so underrated to the point where I don't think most people even know how to have a real conversation that is a real exchange of ideas and not a measure of intelligence!

[@hazelgreen1001]

Spot on!

[@jayfem20s]

So interesting that you say that, that's what I'm currently suffering from which I find tragic. Give me a piece of paper and I'll write your eyes away yet give me a room with my loved ones where I have to open up about personal details and watch me freeze into an ice cube!

[@bridgetdraper8671]

I pray they make it! They clearly truly love eachother. They clearly share a blessing.

[@islammirghani4785]

This conversation was anything else but honesty. Their body language says a lot , there is something wrong between these two. They're hiding alot of deep feelings so that's why they live apart

[@lolthatstough1301]

U Sudani?

[@islammirghani4785]

@@lolthatstough1301 yes

[@lolthatstough1301]

@@islammirghani4785 omg it's crazy how u can know ur people I'm Sudani too haha x Nice to meet ya lol

[@islammirghani4785]

@@lolthatstough1301 loool! Ya zool this is amazing and great! I have never met a zool around here in my favourite channels on KZbin! Nice to meet you ya5i

[@lolthatstough1301]

@@islammirghani4785 girl I know exactly how u feel I watch alllllllll these KZbin channels then all sudanis I know can't relate or don't even use KZbin like that then I feel left out haha!!! Nice to meet ya as well!! xx

[@rimmyreddy788]

Man black love is exciting, it's beautiful, it's breathtaking, it's magical. I enjoy every word, every smile, every every.

[@kevin-kx4lo]

Beautiful soul... Maturity at its best I hope the young ones will learn from them

[@3izzy0]

Love to Doctor. I feel how incredibly vulnerable he feels (or maybe I'm just projecting?) when hearing Effua's answer to why she moved.

[@xoxoIzzI23]

This was everything. Beautiful, youthful and timeless love right here.

[@bobbyshabangu]

God I wish I can find more than just a partner but a friend too. One that truly understands me and my weird thinking. You can clearly see this from this couple.

[@ugaasfoodey3470]

I wish I could have someone like her who is understandable to me.

[@Kwesi-Nimako]

ugaas foodey you will find with time 😀

[@ugaasfoodey3470]

@@Kwesi-Nimako I hope so

[@ugaasfoodey3470]

@@Fashionfuelsme thank you so much

[@Moon-ty1eh]

honest man with time and patience, anything is possible.

[@ugaasfoodey3470]

@@Moon-ty1eh thank you so much

[@noellalazar7843]

Their love really does seem "holistic"...you know they're gonna get through the problems they have ❤️

[@elsabethsolomon2363]

This is what loves means respecting the choices and still love them no matter what they decided to do. What a interesting and beautiful couple inside out.

[@irissmall1722]

😍 who is heavens name is cutting onions 😭

[@athenkosinqampoyi6611]

😂😂 make them stop please!

[@marcusscottbalahari7198]

I think they get each other but I just think its odd that one spouse moves away with their child and the other stays behind. I guess I don't see the point in being in a relationship if you aren't willing to move with the other spouse or compromise. If it works for them, then great but that just seeing stressful.

[@likhaya5504]

She still didn’t answer why the move.

[@mamltd]

she said she's tired of New York.

[@angeleyes3386]

mamltd But to leave her husband and baby??

[@nurdeens]

@@mamltd you know dam well that was just an excuse lmaooo

[@ahtikahalim9033]

She doesn’t like New York

[@ahtikahalim9033]

@@angeleyes3386 She didn’t leave her son who is 9 and not a baby. She left NYC cause she hates it. Her son can’t move states since there is school involved and the school systems change from state to state.

[@nataliestewart5250]

Hmmm 🤨 I’m thrown off by the moving out part...

[@besaqneber]

I think one reason for her move is that she doesn't care for New York and it seems like he wants to stay there.

[@kishae6137]

Sis meeeee too!

[@nataliestewart5250]

Ine Negne I get that but when you’re married I don’t typically see one person opting to do their own thing that is that big of a deal like that....idk just doesn’t seem sustainable. Plus he wasn’t solid in his understanding of why she did it which was also a little off-putting. But hey 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@dariansmith4043]

Me too why is she moving by herself but speaks as if she wants to be married? I also feel he doesn't want this to happen.

[@breguet101]

Are they in a open relationship ? If they are living in separate cities, I mean things happen, right ?

[@soul2soul28]

She's confusing and isn't being honest. He's hurting by her move.

[@Csoulo]

I was so sad when it ended because it literally didn’t feel like time passed watching these two. They got a love that makes time stand still. Damn this was so beautiful.

[@Ada-zg2qb]

She explained why she moved. She said: "I'm not tired of you, I'm tired of New York." Then the guy says, "It's the greatest city in the world." The guy seemed like he did not want to move so she went ahead and did it first. And he's hurt by her decision because he thought she would give up and stay with him in his world while she forgets her needs. I don't care what people say I'm on the girl's side.

[@nthomengmajara8575]

You and me both.

[@sollywilman7754]

This is confusing than watching THE MATRIX movie for the first time. A lot of love but there's more to their story.

[@likhaya5504]

I’m so confused. She’s tired of New York, so she moved. Did she bring it up that perhaps she wants to move with her family or did she want to move alone from the get go and why? She really doesn’t answer any of that and she’s confusing this man. Why talk about how much you love each each other and reassure each of that but not talk about the elephant in the room? 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@01mama2008]

She said she wanted to move but he did not and she chose to move anyway

[@Chen-my1ks]

@@01mama2008 i hear that but it's still confusing because she not single : they're married with a child...

[@Chen-my1ks]

I find it sttttrrrraaaange. Frfr I don't think she loves him but rather energy he offers her because what he wants wasn't, seemingly, held im any regard when she speaks about her decision to move. The ramifications are real Spiritually, emotionally, financially for all involved and she doesn't acknowledge any of it

[@datgurlky1]

She's being nice. She has outgrown him and what they had. She wants him to move on, be happy, and be a father to his son.

[@TheDarkAgez]

They’re not gonna spell out everything for this convo for our benefit. They’ve probably had this convo before. As someone mentioned, she moved to the city for the family, could not be at peace with herself living there, he clearly wants to live there, so she left. I’m guessing it’s temporary but they haven’t figured out the long term resolution, perhaps it’s an employment thing, etc

[@Piecesoftheshadow]

"Holistic love." Oooh, this is my new favorite term for love. I love how he put that. Also, love all the couples you put on, but they always seems so well spoken and stable and perfect, despite their troubles. Be nice to see some couples of people who are the opposite.

[@effuaoginga-mcgougain]

Doc does have a way with words

[@impoohnotsheisty]

Dude is dying...and she either doesn't see it nor care, seems like he is her good friend not..........seems a little weird

[@angeleyes3386]

That’s the vibe I’m in.

[@ahtikahalim9033]

It seems he misses her but he can’t ask her to stay because he wants her to. She simply doesn’t like New York

[@CoachDeBora]

She's blessed to have a man who "just talks" about any and everything...and I agree 100% that that's how intimacy happens. I feel like too many men don't get that.

[@chiagz7538]

What a beautiful, honest and understanding conversation between these two people professing their love each other

[@herovids1197]

He does not want the separation. She does not know what she wants. He's hurting and she's exploring and ignoring his feelings. He's trying to be strong and accepting. Loving unconditionally. She does not love him the same!

[@angelamitchell6657]

They make me so sick, they're so damned cute!!! Super sweet

[@minniedillys-Me]

Ahhhh I love these!! Have a great day who ever reads this comment! God bless and love from Yeshua 🙌🏽💕😍❤️

[@marie-lourdesmonpreville8532]

You too

[@MovingT5]

hmmm the guy is unsure whether she truly loves him...he keeps looking in her eyes for TRUE answers.

[@MutedSins26]

Holistic love... I love how he explained that. That made my heart sparkle ✨

[@iverson25allen]

When it got to the greatest challenge question and she was breaking down how the long distance adjustment was, it felt like he wanted to flat out say that he didn’t like the fact they’re in that situation at all. I got the sense that her even saying it as a matter of fact struck his nerve of missing their unity of being in the same proximity.

[@jloera899]

St. Mdnght I’m totally with you on this! He doesn’t want it. He’s hurting and she’s trying to make it seem like it’s a good thing,

[@daniellemiller2547]

I want this type of love. Their connection is so genuine.

[@sharaimcintosh2477]

She definitely is tired of him... the way she answered the question, hesitated and laughed as well while looking to the side.

[@marchshowers5364]

Awwwhhh I can see it too in his eyes. He loves her so much and he didnt want this move at all. MOVE BACK to him please.

[@carameldarling2980]

From what I've gathered, I think she is tired of him. I don't see how you could be in what she describes as a relatively happy marriage but want to live in a different city than your spouse. It doesn't matter how bad you dislike a city, shouldn't you dislike being far away from your spouse more? Maybe she's hit a threshold in their marriage where she wants her space, but she should admit that and be honest with him and herself.

[@ericafraser506]

You think so? Idk. I think by that logic we would be saying that all you need in life to be happy is your spouse and that's not true. He's also contributing to the physical distance by refusing to move with her. He could have moved by chose to stay. I think they both don't want the other person to resent them for making a decision they don't want to make. Instead of focusing on the pain of the distance they focus on the strength of their love that allows them to fell connected even when apart.

[@mcgougainmediaworks5084]

Perhaps we are both wrong and both right. Pray for us and thanks for watching and offering your tale on it. God bless you. I do appreciate people showing empathy and also giving me different points of views to consider.

[@vaughnallen3849]

@@mcgougainmediaworks5084 ahhhhh Pastor/Reverend huh!!? That in and of itself says alot about what is going on here and your position. Well at least I know now I'm not the only brother here in NY that is going thru this situation. I too am here with my son...as my wife is miles away with my daughter. I understood my wife's desire to have a better quality of life and didn't make her desires... about what makes her happy...about me or our family. It takes an awful lot from each person involved to overcome such a irregular arrangement. Unfortunately, for me my wife believes me not forcing myself and my son to be where they are is strike against us. I sure would love to talk more about these kinds of complex situations to a mature individual such as yourself. Praying for ya'll

[@misskhasu8537]

I love them but she still didn't answer the question...

[@Grace1708]

They both seem like such wonderful, joyful people and their bond is so special! I wish them nothing but happiness. Beautiful ❤️

[@mcgougainmediaworks5084]

Thank you. God bless you.

[@lutha1720]

Im hella confused, something about this woman is off, does she have another life that she wants to move and still be able to come home. somebody make me understand

[@donaldmoreki1982]

You can tell they are friends, and he is a good listener this dude!!! Big up bro

[@moi2995]

I feel so confused after watching this. I would never guess they were married. And if they are, something other than the moving away without him makes me feel like they don't have a traditional relationship. Can't put my finger on it.

[@user-wz4mu9ok7q]

They said something about complicated relationships with other people. That made me think maybe they are in some type of open relationship

[@moi2995]

Joe Ann There was no judgement in my comment. Just an observation. We really didn't get enough info about anything to even form opinion.

[@brianreed805]

Yes, and she keeps referring to the "two of you" Who is the other person, a child? And did she leave the child behind? Or is the other person another partner? It's confusing indeed, for me too anyway.

[@bev_ovchic76]

@@brianreed805 In the beginning he said they are raising a 9 year old...so yes, there is a child in there somewhere. And when she was reminiscing about waking up in bed together and laughing, it was after the child finished co-sleeping with them (based on her preface of the moments)....

[@brianreed805]

@@bev_ovchic76 Thanks for the clarification! I forgot that part.

[@dmcarden]

The comments here...so loving...uplifting..warm..thank you

[@jayw4368]

Wow. This is beyond beautiful and complex.

[@angelkingbeautytv6849]

She is tired of them and ready to enjoy her life but he was holding her back in some way so she moved! 💗

[@876me7]

Why is this woman breaking up her family? I don’t get it. I’m not judging, I just don’t think this is romantic and I don’t think he does either. He seems very disappointed.

[@kellyempress6943]

876ME I mean it’s none of your business

[@876me7]

It is my and everybody else's business since they chose to do a public video putting their marriage on display and up for scrutiny and praise. They clearly want it to be everyone's business since they opened their private business up to the public. So stfu bitch!

[@Chen-my1ks]

I dont think she thought much about what marriage would mean. I say that because she doesn't seem able to think much now about what her actions mean. She says she wants him not to feel restrained by life things (which makes me think this is what she wants for herself), that he should do what he wants to do etc; that she is all in for life but sees no contention with moving away from her family or any impact. She hasn't seemed to reconcile the idea that commitment, responsibility and love can mean sacrifice, accountability, accommodating others etc.

[@violetenergy4392]

"HOLLISTIC LOVE" is deep.💞💞💞💯

[@jayvionworldanimations]

How can you be tired of someone you dont stay with? You dont get to experience the things that will exhaust you in general idk maybe I still have more living and lessons to go through.

[@SweetestNya]

From her questions i get that she wants to get back to how things used to be. From his questions i get that he doesn't know exactly where things went wrong...or where the distance between them became so long.

[@jamillahbrooks5920]

What BEAUTIFUL BLACK LOVE!!! OPEN AFRICAN COUPLES NOTHING GETS BETTER THEN THIS!!TO SEE 'US' BEING THIS FRAGILE WILL CHANGE THE GAME..".FA REAL FA REAL"

[@unrelaxedtresses4240]

Jamillah Brooks who said they were Africans

[@lichi1244eva]

I'm rooting for them and really enjoyed this video. I appreciate their maturity, transparency, their radical honesty and the space they're giving each other to grow separately so they can ultimately be better for each other and their child. I've been married 11 years and I know that the woman I was then is vastly different than the woman I am now and I am thankful for a relationship in which we support each other's feelings and growth.

[@effuaoginga-mcgougain]

Thank you for that! I really keep all the encouragement and support I hear stored up for those rough days when I can't come home and be held by Doc. Life is interesting we never know where it will take us, but I have such faith in our love and that when we are back in the same state our relationship will be even better and much stronger because we would have scaled this mountain together !

[@lichi1244eva]

@@effuaoginga-mcgougain seriously, y'all really spoke to me. You have my support and hope for a positive and even more robust and abundant future!

[@uendjiundjablack5682]

What a love. This was so calming, so refreshing to watch. Beautiful.... you can see they love each other

[@hodanbille]

When is Skin Deep getting an award? Come on Universe! We are waiting... ❤️ Thank you for showing us this kind of love. I want it. 🙂

[@moon.mp3201]

10:41 That subtle dap at the end 🥹🥹🥲

[@hibatullahelamin]

I love you Totally and Holistically 💚

[@abi71200]

Doesnt make sense. If the roles were reversed i dont think people would have the same opinion. Double standards.

[@AGCleaves]

Facts

[@abi71200]

@JONES I get where your coming from. But I dont think living with a man is any harder than living with a women. There are many men out there where their woman is the centre of their world. It can take its toll on both men and a women in different ways. People underestimate the pressure men are under in life especially in a relationship. So i dont see how its ok for her to move out and equally if it was the other way around.

[@abi71200]

@JONES I can agree with you on that. But that doesn't justify moving out of the home. You might as well be single. It's about communicating what she's going through and finding a balance with her partner through compromise. If what you described is similar to what she's going through that seems more logical than leaving the home. I mean what do you expect the child to think.

[@kimwalters2364]

abi71200 I totally agree

[@TheDarkAgez]

Cause we live in a patriarchy lol It is traditional for the wife to sacrifice most in a marriage. In this one, she’s not

[@Libusheful]

His little grin at the end... 😍 😭 they are both so sweet!

[@Jay-vy2hg]

He’s uncomfortable with this situation. She’s being completely logical but he’s trying to have an emotional connection. A lot of avoidance here between the two.

[@queenl1965]

🎯🎯🎯

[@cynthiatoney8560]

Yesssss finally someone said it🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿

[@moniquesinned4210]

Wish I wasn’t single ! Communication is everything

[@kinguponarrival8237]

This feels kinda weird

[@animatedsermons4448]

Kinguponarrival I think there’s like 3 or 4 of them in the relationship

[@marcie101080]

I agree

[@Bubzietown]

It does and I wonder if they’re still together

[@cspasm59]

It's been so long since I've seen such a candid conversation between two people who clearly are at odds with the decision regarding the "move" but can still express such love for one another. You two will be okay. Clearly, your foundation is STRONG. I hope to one day have a little of you appear to share. Thanks

[@mzzzmonique]

why didn't he go with her? i wonder if that was presented as an option.. clearly he loves NY but I want to believe he loves her more... he really appears hurt behind her choices.. is their child in NY? regardless of where the child resides I wonder what type of conversations they are having with him/her around this matter... sooo many thoughts/questions... I hope the come back to THE AND in about a year...

[@Ihatemystylist]

A man that can emote is so satisfying. All the feels

[@GenuinelyGiGi]

I doubt that I would be able to live away from my husband... maybe if one of us was in the military or had a job that required us to be stationed apart from each other for a specified period of time... but to indefinitely move because I don’t like the city where we live... I don’t think I could do that. We would have to compromise on a place, or stay where we are... I couldn’t leave him.

[@WinstedF]

I love this lady!! I'm listening and looking at her...she is imperfect, precious and in possession of a huge heart with everything in the right place.

[@mcgougainmediaworks5084]

She is

[@EgyptBXO]

i liked how they shared their story, it was more understandable, and they were descriptive, that was helpful

[@QueenJosephine85]

I don't know all the dynamics, but NO WAY would my husband be living in another state and we have a long distance relationship. We either in this or we not. You need space go sleep in another room for a couple nights and gather your thoughts. But in 2 days we are going to come together and talk thus thing through! If my husband is moving, we're moving! PERIODT. What you're not going to do is move away and leave me with the kids and think I'm going to be ok with that. *rant over lol

[@lexxypeters4892]

Their love is so cute and genuine , I can feel it through the screen. Makes me emotional . You can tell that they love each other.

[@waynejshynzhinds4434]

I hope theres a part 2 to this. Theres so much more to be understood and learnt from this decision.

[@TheAuthenticAppeal]

They make me feel like they just started dating & I love that ❤️

[@mcgougainmediaworks5084]

We're back together. I moved back. Thanks everyone. God bless

[@SoulSearch11110]

❣️

[@mcgougainmediaworks5084]

Thank you..

[@mcgougainmediaworks5084]

The world is a better place for people who offer light and it is good to know people have a platform to share their point of view.

[@kyliegreen2349]

Maybe she moved for a job. I get that vibe from them. She does not look tired of the relationship. He appears hurt by the situation, but seems to be adjusting well. There a level of maturity in their relationship, which is healthy to have in a marriage. They also been married for a 100 years. Seem like a pretty secure marriage to me. They are making a mutual sacrifice in their marriage, which is to live apart for a while. I don't see the issue! She's trying to get to the bag lol. It appears as if she wants him to get to the bag too, which is what she is trying to motivate him to do. Sounds, like marriage goals to me. I still don't see the issue. lmfao

[@blaclaquer]

I love the way they communicate towards each other very loving👌

[@MiMenteOnLine]

"I don't want it to sound good. Does it make sense?" Now that's a Woman. A grown, mature and intelligent woman. They are a beautiful couple

[@jamievaughn6969]

“Holistic love.” 🥺 🥰

[@butterpecan111]

Her accent sounds like she might be Caribbean. What I've seen, people from the islands don't mind living apart for job or any other reason. I've seen many couples do that and they seem to make it work. It was really strange for me at first but it's not uncommon to see now that I'm exposed to more islanders.

[@Vanessa-wd3lj]

Her name looks Ghanaian

[@lorrainea.285]

@Vanessa...Trust me she IS from the Caribbean, specifically Trinidad. It’s impossible to miss the accent intonations as an American with Trini parents myself.

[@Ada-zg2qb]

@@Vanessa-wd3lj And the way she said 'Hm'

[@zamamqoboka1789]

I really wasn't convinced when she said I love you so much

[@chanelknight6880]

The lady with the one dimple is so beautiful

[@lala55419]

So did she move away from him and their child? Honestly, It sounds like she’s tired of him to me. I don’t think this is beautiful like everyone else states. I think she needs to move on and free this man.

[@dariansmith4043]

Yes Indeed

[@gabrielmdkv33]

Can’t you see the love they share in the video ? Like she said, they’re two people, that chose to form and maintain a relationship. Nonetheless, they’re still their own person, and they are growing and changing. If she personally decides that for her OWN life, she needs to move, that it would make HER happier, then why wouldn’t she? If he’s on board with LDR, why would they break up ? We don’t know why she chose to move, what the context, how did she justify it etc etc .... but just because she putting herself first doesn’t mean she should end this relationship. You don’t stop being your own person and caring for your own happiness/personal growth once you’re in a relationship. Some people prefer not to live together, it still doesn’t mean they’re not committed. I’m sure she took the decision after weighing all pro and cons, if they choose LDR it’s because there's something stronger than distance in their love that’s all

[@eprahs1]

Do you know what love looks like?

[@lala55419]

eprahs do you know what I’m tired of you and my child looks like? THIS

[@lala55419]

Alex Mdkv I can see love from him. Outside of that. I see nothing. I see her allowing him to love her when feel feels like it.

[@mariselasaenz311]

Aww, what a cute couple! I loved watching this video. It put a smile on my face!

[@zanim98]

Holistic love. A combination of all the little and big things. All of it.