MARRIED TO A “CHRISTIAN” NARCISSIST by RC BLAKES

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[@wendydrummond2338]

They don't listen to or respect your boundaries but they expect you to obey all of theirs

[@RArtis-xs8so]

SPEAK!

[@theresagonzales520]

You are sooo right about that!!

[@annettemarrero-oliveras3090]

Absolutely, that's trait number one

[@JustineMfulama]

So true! It chips away no your self-esteem because you now think something is wrong with you.

[@imdifferent7294]

YES!!!!!

[@elleneebarrett5683]

I tried for 7 years to save my marriage. I finally realized that nothing was going to change. Counseling did not work. After 10 months of solid prayer, I asked for a separation. I filed for divorce in April. God has brought me the most awesome support system and I am completely at peace with my decision.

[@MAJORMAN299]

God is 💪💪!!!

[@stephanieT83]

You Go girl. Blessings to you. Do you now.

[@Myportion442]

Trust me , You made the Right decision !! They get WORSE !

[@dr.aprilmoody7697]

I was in the very same boat. Tried counceling several different times, prayed, etc. Then I realized nothing was ever going to change and improve after 10 years. Now, I am at total peace about my decision! My ex spouse was exactly the kind of narcissist in this video and he continues to portray his fake persona...smh...lesson never learned.

[@wendydrummond2338]

In 2 Timothy 3:5 say's avoid them turn away. That actually means leave them

[@sharhughes1086]

In Corinthians God talks about Love Compassion and Kindness the Narcissist is the opposite, they will use God's word to Manipulate, Gaslight their Victim's!

[@laminateable]

Shar Hughes and confusion is not of God. His words Bring clarity and peace.

[@sharhughes1086]

@@laminateable True and they will get mad when you call them out, one said to me you think your better than me but your not, when I told them what God's word said! They are very delusional and black and white thinker's reprobate minds, they are in complete darkness.

[@TheTonya032]

Shar Hughes yes!!!!!

[@dr.aprilmoody7697]

@@sharhughes1086 completely agree

[@seashells1582]

@@sharhughes1086 very well said! Thank you.

[@jacquelinelarsen1721]

I was married to one for 28 years. He knew scripture by heart but it wasn't in his heart

[@Sacto96]

Because they don’t have a heart

[@NinthJewel]

They are so good at memorising scripture yet they are not doers of Gods word

[@deborahwaters9338]

Mine only wanted to pray when he could be seen or by himself. I think narcissistic behavior is demonic.

[@NinthJewel]

@@deborahwaters9338 it’s pure demonic

[@ducky1115]

Mine dose the same pure evil

[@MW-kh3fk]

I “hung in there” for 3 decades. I was married, but separated myself emotionally eventually. This was before i even knew what covert narcissism was. I only continued physical relationship because I WANTED it. So for a while that was all we had. Because i was no longer giving the narc his “supply” (emotion and responses to gaslighting), HE ENDED UP LEAVING ME!! And hallelujah!! I wasn’t going to leave, but God had other plans for me. I am healing now. Look up more videos on “covert narcissism” for help identifying. Very hard to detect the abuse, but it is real! Once you identify it, escape it and try to look at it as YOUR INDEPENDENCE DAY! God bless❤️

[@christianchirchir1842]

Thats worthy of a celebration 🥂🥂🥳

[@ohmeohmy3503]

It has been 10 years for me next month. One day I hear out of no where the word “narcissist” God does speak to me but that was super clear. I had never heard that word before so I started doing my research. And all I can say is wow. I fell into his bait to argue again but now that I know what I’m dealing with I know how to handle it. I heard one person say stop enjoying sex and they will go away.

[@juliadianavanyo5927]

30 yrs for me too - and it was HELL ON EARTH!

[@brendaknox8294]

👍🏽

[@brendaknox8294]

Regarding your comment on Christian married to narcissist. My husband is a covert narcissist. He totally took advantage of my Christianity and the church. He had a traumatic childhood and a broken heart from a previous relationship. So he swore he would marry a Christian woman because she wouldn’t leave. But his type of love is functional only. Make me look good and we can keep your t moving. I’m just having trouble justifying divorce. Especially since he wants to stay in the marriage. How do we know they won’t change?

[@coleenpowell]

When dealing with a malignant narcissist talking, therapy doesn't help. These persons are dangerous and can become quite violent. In my opinion, the best thing to do is quietly take your leave and go no contact.

[@flashlitestriker4028]

@@victoriadorgu3207 Man... this same comment keeps popping up OVER & OVER AGAIN, amidst this discussion... MUCH LIKE as if it is JUST A SALES PITCH! Ugh!

[@haitiantonice2722]

C P well said. My sister ❤️💯🙏

[@ghostbombl8034]

They usually do not believe in therapy just the bible for everything.

[@davidhinkson8856]

And of course they manipulate the Bible texts to suit their agenda.

[@paf9191]

My husband moved out 4 months ago. I have such a peace and joy that I have not had in a long time. I filed for divorce a week ago because he kept coming around and hoping I would move in with him. I told him no I will not go back into a marriage that was destroying me. God has given me peace with my decision and I am excited to see what God has for me. He is all I need.!!

[@zianeshkasparen4358]

Very Good. Stand your ground. He will try and try and try. Mi X put EVERYONE he could against me. Now over 20 years later people is seeing through hus lies, but most of them helped destroy my life also.

[@accordionchick]

PAF ... wish I could hug you. Thanks for your sharing. Please now pray for others who can’t get out so easily. Please pray for my daughter in law ..... my “Christian” son is going to ruin her if she does not leave. Please pray for the rest of us.😢

[@paf9191]

@@accordionchick I will pray for her to love and value herself enough to get out of that toxic relationship. God would not want her to stay with a man that does not treat her with love and respect. I realized I am valued in God's eyes. And so is she. But she has to realize it too. No woman has to be put down by anyone including her husband. Peace and blessing to all of you. My prayers are with you.

[@teresarinne9397]

I have been married to a Covert Christian Narcissist for almost 40 years and always said “Yes” to all he asked of me, incorrectly thinking that that was what a Christian wife was suppose to do. It took me 37 1/2 years to realize I was being destroyed by his demands and expectations. Once I realized how ruined I was, I woke up and after much prayer, asked God for the right words to say to him. God gave them to me; “if the arguing and interrupting cannot stop, then I can no longer live with you (narcissist) and I will be very happy splitting all our assets and moving to my own place to live!” From that day forward, he has gotten a little better every month. His high need to maintain that righteous persona in the eyes of our family and piers, plus a great deal of face-down prayer time, has made a great difference in our family life. If it wasn’t for those words God gave me that day and fasting time prayers, we would likely not be married today. Praise the Lord that He can and will heed our supplications and answer when we cry out to Him!!! Our marriage is not perfect, but it is greatly improved and my stress levels are much more normal and I can actually experience Joy now and then!!!!

[@josephinelemian]

This hits home, thank you God for giving me the strength and courage to walk away. Unfortunately some churches and families try to manipulate someone to stay in this type of relationships/marriages.

[@peaceglory5973]

Praying for you, may God grand you peace & protection as you make this move. May he connect you with safe people and give you financial provision as you heal. May he heal your heart & strengthen you. 💗

[@josephinelemian]

@@peaceglory5973 thank you, i left a long time ago. Me and my boy are very happy. He is still a 🚮 father. God is great tho.

[@blackreacher]

Called the plantation. My family tries to shame me into dating women they select, to live the same life they have where they constantly hate one another and partners brought into the family. Not gonna be a part of the enslavement

[@JustineMfulama]

YES I witnessed that first hand with a family member. The church tried to convince her that it was on her to just stick it through. So sad. I wish more Christians would be open to therapy and understand that there is nothing wrong with taking care of your mental health.

[@ilovelearning7463]

Prepare for a divorce because they don't change or care about your feelings. They are so fake.

[@rachelsweets]

I agree

[@brendawashington6948]

AMEN! HALLELUJAH, HALLELUJAH, HALLELUJAH ….LET US BEGIN TO GIVE PRAISE UNTO GOD, WHO ALONE IS WORTHY OF OUR PRAISE!!!

[@Bella-jy2xu]

Thank God I was not in love with the XNARC liar, fake,phony Bolognese got discarded. Including the whole cult church setting full of NARCS hater's & darkness. God has His ✋ on my life and only God dictate my life not no NARC. Put distance between you and the narcissistas parasites duping poeple hurting others &go no contact INDEFINITELY WITH THE CESSPOOL of narcissistas abuse. Be free to love you and God. Let God👑 handle the NARC. Amen to that from sister Ivette Jimenez 🌹💖.

[@bookerlo1977]

That’s what I’m going through right now.

[@jonettadunmore4329]

I am

[@msa7811]

"You don't need anybody's approval to save you." "Fear will cost you your life." Well said Pastor. Well said. Some of us have never been taught this.

[@laminateable]

Ms A my narc husband of only a year almost turned my son away from the word. I had to talk to him and tell him there’s something wrong with his brain. Lol

[@Katarina4567]

You are right about fear.

[@msa7811]

@@laminateable "Steal, kill and destroy." That's what enemies always try to do. Great job for not backing down👍.

[@TheShanieB]

When he said those things, I almost passed out! Other ppl don't understand this.

[@351cleavland]

Please, keep in mind something incredibly important: IF someone has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) that means they have a PERSONALITY DISORDER. A personality disorder means that, clinically speaking, its a long-standing cluster of maladaptive/destructive traits. It also means that the very core of ANY personality disorder is POOR INSIGHT. That means that they CANNOT see how their own behavior is part of the whole. In addition, while some personality disorders have treatments available to help manage symptoms and interactions THERE IS NO TREATMENT FOR NPD ANYWHERE ON ANY LEVEL! In other words, the hardest part of accepting your situation with a NPD person is realizing that nothing you or I or any treatment in the world will help YOU to get what you want from this person with NPD. Most people with NPD were badly broken in childhood on the inside and as a result the ONLY thing they know is how to make themselves look better at others' expense. What they know is how to break others. They excell at it. You've been manipulated by an NPD. You've been hurt. If you're looking for miracles the miracle is that you found this video and these comments. There is NO changing a person who CANNOT, WILL NOT change NO MATTER WHAT. Its like having someone who lost their limbs and eyesight in a bad car accident and wishing/praying for their limbs to come back. You know it doesn't work like that. That ship sailed long before you met your NPD. Now is the time to start caring for yourself. Now is the time to tend to your wounds. Now is the time for help. Its a dirty, 4-letter word in mainstream culture. H-E-L-P. So many want to bee seen offering it. So few want to accept it. Its not dirty. Its necessary.

[@Thefitmarquee]

351cleavland wow 😞

[@351cleavland]

@@Thefitmarquee I know, huh? 😕

[@Nan-59]

Sooo, it WAS NEVER MY FAULT, like he always told me it was. Sad there’s NOTHING to help these people. Really? Yup. My guy would go to counseling with me and when it was our turn for our loan session with the counselor he would get a Paperwork on anger management which is always sit on the seat of his vehicle. Never looked at. Never opened. He never cared to change, for me, for his kids, FOR HIMSELF, for anyone.

[@imperfectillustration6261]

351cleavland wow! Really jarring comments! Thanks for providing a sense of urgency and importance for those of us who struggle to maintain the decision to leave.

[@christianchirchir1842]

Your not understanding some of us have extremely broken childhoods, infact some of us were raised by them!!! But dint turn out the same. Praise God to him be all the glory. 🙇🏾‍♂️🙇🏾‍♂️ But isnt it peculiar that they all use the same manaul and it hasn't changed in biblical times, and that its the only psychological disorder that cant be explained. All im saying thats to early to conclude what it is, i mean what cannmake someonee behavior to revert to less than being an actual human, that they even show less love, that that you can get from an animal, This clearly indicated im still in the process of forgiving😇😇🙏🙏 but we cant underestimate the fact this people are national threat..!

[@mercysmith]

Why, after listening to this counsel about being able to leave to save yourself and children from a raging narcissist, am I crying? It's been 44 years ago I escaped with my children after 12 yrs of hell, of going to church with a smiling husband and hiding the embarrassment, pain and truth of our life at home. I think of the terrible problems my children suffered from witnessing and hearing the rages. The wearing of long sleeves to hide the bruises. The plastic surgery to repair my lip. I wish I could have had these wise words 40+ years ago. It's amazing how emotions rise to the surface after all this time. Thank you Bro. Blakes and God bless you.

[@LethoHali]

Big cyber hug 🤗 to you! 💝

[@kitt765]

Don't be hard on yourself. Remember, 40+ years ago there was no recognition of this & no help. Human science has come a loooong way since then. The fact you escaped is qudos to you girl💖

[@justlynda59]

They convince the church that they are super Christians even a prophet! Then the suffering partner is slandered and isolated. Nobody feels worthy to counsel him.

[@TheTonya032]

Lynda Givens Evans this is so true!!!! I’ve experienced the same thing.

[@annettemarrero-oliveras3090]

Amen to that

[@JustineMfulama]

EXACTLY! They talk the talk in church but can't walk the walk behind closed doors.

[@currychken]

FACTS!! Living it right now

[@Thefitmarquee]

Lynda Givens Evans wow it happened to me.

[@AmaLoveGoddessTV]

They are the worst. My dad is one and is entitled and full of the word...ready to twist it to manipulate you along with every other type of abuse. I question if theyre even saved.

[@laminateable]

PrincessAmandaTV I know in the word it says you cast out demons in my name you called me Lord, u did many miracles in my name but depart from me I never knew u.

[@stephaniegreer8294]

Good words

[@sxyteesa0890]

@@laminateable Amen! That is a good explanation. God also talks about how he cares more about your heart than religious following. If the heart is not right than God will know.

[@valeriegaddy8833]

As...Always... The.. Devil...Play.. With.. Words..to..Lie...And.. Trick...

[@AmaLoveGoddessTV]

@@CodeDusq1 my dad tries to make me go along with the church's reading plan and give tithe but he doesn't lol he only cares about money and being blessed but lacks character. He told me when i moved 2 hours away that you never leave your home church or you'll get attacked by satan. It hasnt done him any good lol

[@BB-zs9vh]

There is no way that person is filled wid di HOLY GHOST and still be a Narcissist. Matthew 6:26 No man can serve two masters.

[@stacyramirez5302]

No they are filled with the devil that's it nothing godly about them.

[@lovejoy8674]

@ Black Beauty have you ever heard of the Kundalini the false holy spirit? It's new age serpent spirit.

[@marypatton1122]

Wrong. Anyone who thinks an invisible superpower lives in them has problems with massive egos.

[@SUGARlea11]

That's the way I feel, you can't be a humble loving human being, and be a narssist also, impossible, when filled with the Holy Spirit. With the Holy Spirit your always checking your own behavior. A narcissist doesn't do that.

[@lovejoy8674]

@@SUGARlea11that is so ture.

[@tvcater1]

I’ve separated from my narc husband who is a Senior Pastor since March . My therapist continues to remind me that narc abuse has to be dealt with by itself before you can have marriage counseling. The abuse is an individual issue not a marriage issue. Couples counseling will not work without that first being recognized and that spouse dealing with it.

[@carlenderedwards9606]

keep in mind that some of these narcissistic people are very dangerous and you may have to move in silence there is no reasoning with the narcissist.

[@shalalala868]

Yup! My husband got physical with me and everything everyone including my therapist was saying about my safety started to make sense and I left him a few days later when he went away. I packed all my stuff and bounced, b/c he could have very well killed me.

[@2011myhappiness]

💯💯💯💯💯💯

[@13e13ez]

Yes please don't say anything about ending the relationship or your leaving. That's dangerous. Wait til he goes to work have your movers ready already and once he's gone have a friend or 2 to be there in case he comes back for some weird reason they since something is different. THEY ARE CREEPY

[@elisiarenee]

We are so programmed to reach a goal of marrying someone that we don't take the time to really know a person prior to marrying them. We think we know them, but we don't really find out who they are until after marriage. Then we think it's too late because we have this voice in our head that says, "God hates divorce". I heard my former pastor say in his sermon, that if your miserable, just stick it out, then he used the scripture, that what God has joined together, let no man put asunder." I was kind of discouraged by that, because I was miserable. But thankfully, I have wise counsel in my life and when I talked to them, they set me free by saying, God may not have joined you together. Thank you for this teaching of freedom.

[@leyamariebooth7890]

The scripture you quoted applies to what God has joined together. The narc has not been sent by God. We are fooled by the narc to believe that we are equally yoked and share the same beliefs and serve the same God. Narcs dont know God or fear him. Therefore, it is my belief that God nvr blessed the marriage and nvr wanted you bound to the narc. Light and darkness can not dwell in the same place.

[@Harley08]

God sends no one to anyone. You choose your husband or wife. Marriage is joined by man, not God. It’s no commandment of God’s.

[@davidhinkson8856]

That pastor was an idiot or a narc himself!

[@kimp.6367]

That was my question and that was what stuck out to me in scripture this morning, "what if God didn't create the union." Will you please share more of your counsel?

[@1kalicid]

@@Harley08 "but everything that happens is all a part of God's plan" so God did infact send them to you.

[@sandras2479]

Thank you Pastor! I was married to a ‘Christian’ narcissist for 17 years. Divorced for 5 years and I cherish the peace that I now have. Thank you for reminding us that is is our life!

[@BlackBeauty-yl8uq]

What I need to do so badly. I won’t have the money to stand on my own yet.

[@stephaniethomas5161]

Your words were so on point. I was married to a so-called narcissistic for four years. He would find all types of reason to torment my son who was not his. My son was 13 when we met. Dating was super fast as he did not want to live in sin. He was super religious, love to witness to women, very holy in public but a devil in the house. Didn’t help much with bills in the house for three straight years. He would verbally abuse my son, called him names that wasn’t his. That man had no boundaries. Anyone that he think I was communicating with, he find their number and called them behind my back and filled them with lies. When my son was about 14 he use to say he can’t wait till he gets to 17 to put him out. My son is an introvert and kept very much to himself but this man would find reasons to willfully punish him them make it seems like he was the worst child but then turn around and say oh he’s a good boy, it’s the mother. He would turn off the hot water on him if he stayed in the shower pas 10 minutes or turn of the current from the circuit or remove his bedroom door and then the day came when he cursed him with the four letter word +. I was in shock and so was my son....all my son said was ...but that’s my mother and the narc said...that’s my wife!!! And used profanity. Shortly thereafter he fought with my son and almost sent him to prison and he was pleased with himself... later told me he should have shot him... at this point I needed to save my son and moved out with hopes to repair the marriage because like most christian, I battled with the idea of divorce. I was actually planning on going back to the relationship but he left the state and moved to another state to live with another woman. All the while posting scriptures on Facebook and going to church for over a year. He filed for the divorce and the courts granted it after three delays. I thank God I am out of that marriage. I didn’t know at the time what God was saving me from. He was definitely a wolf in sheep’s clothing.... I was really sleeping with the enemy. These people can’t love and they will financially suck you dry. They are very self-centered and selfish...in all my life I never knew these kind of people exist....the worst ones are the ones who professed to be christians cause they will whip you with praise, prayer but they are above everyone and no one can counsel them cause they very well verse in the scripture and they must preserve their image even if it means destroying yours. Because of his wickedness I had to dive deeper in the word of God, get closer to God for help and strength. You can’t change these people but for your sake, your family and your health it may be best to get far away. They’re always a step ahead of you, always plotting and thinking of your next move, very manipulative people. God bless all of you and please do pray for them cause only God can deliver them and they to need salvation.

[@morningsong8077]

You’re absolutely right! They are always plotting. My narc husband recently installed a dialer - a device that dials his phone number each time a laser is triggered in our driveway (We live in a gated property.) He says it’s for intruders, but after I confronted him about our relationship, telling him I felt “done,”he told me he didn’t think the dialer was working properly. 🤔 So I proclaimed death to the dialer. LOL! The last one was struck by lightning after my daughter prayed it would break. 😆

[@thetruehustler1365]

And yet you stayed?

[@joharisheared6405]

I am glad you got delivered from this individual. He was a hypocrite. God got you away from this abusive man.

[@narcfree4eva]

What you went through with that man is so reminiscent of what I endured, and I mean identical to the Tee! I felt a fearful anxious and a sickening dreadful feeling in my stomach when I read your comment, because this was my story, a story that had a very tragic ending.

[@ducky1115]

clue you are with a Christian narcissistic is they love jole olsteen

[@drchidi]

You are the real deal Pastor. Thank you! Even my veteran minister parents watched me suffer in this type of marriage for 10.5 years. I finally left without their approval and after 2 days they realized how bad it was. I watched my oldest child develop anger and anxiety and now needs therapy. Staying in the marriage was not good. God knows that's not what I asked for and I'm glad He delivered me before I was 'accidentally' killed by my spouse; there were many close calls already. Get smart people, listen when God answers your prayers. Yes, you saw the signs and still married him/her. Well, now you know better, forgive yourself, you tried your best, move on and save your kids because if you don't leave the toxic environment, your children will become narcissists, and their children, and their children's children, and so on. A word is enough for the wise. God works in mysterious ways.

[@morningsong8077]

Yes. Break this generational curse and sin. With God’s help, I am breaking this for my daughters now.

[@drchidi]

@@morningsong8077 yes! it's never too late to start a good thing. Follow your heart, love and treat yourself better. Start now.

[@natashamudford4011]

My Christian Narcissist husband left after we had been married less than 5 months. He considers me the Narcissist. He left because I did not sit quietly while he trampled my boundaries. I'm enjoying the peace and quiet now.

[@livinglife2911]

I understand

[@marilynng4337]

Oh my sister Our God saved you from a life of hell. Praise him for that!!!! I am so glad you only spent 5 months in captivity. Praying our God sends you a godly, successful, kind and loving man in your future. Do your work/ healing so you will be ready when God sends him.

[@uplift56]

I'm proud of you 👏!!

[@valm.5243]

Thanks for sharing this. It's better to cut your losses as early as possible!

[@jaybell7587]

Much appreciated! Really needed to hear this today. I've been going through divorce for three years now. Fear kept me married for 8.5 years but the will to make sure my kids don't end up in the type of disfunctional relationship I had with there mother has given me courage to push through and say HELL NO!!!! No more!!!! For anyone going through... reconnect with those who believe in you. Trust God. And GET OUT!!!!! Yes us men go through this too.

[@mgnfcnt7628]

Jay Bell 💪🏽💪🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@morningsong8077]

That fear’s a killer! Glad you got out. You’re a great man for setting your kids’ needs as a priority. We need more men like you!

[@shanelo.5142]

This is exactly what I needed to hear, read and have acknowledged. I’m tired of people shaming others for getting a divorce instead of sticking out an abusive rollercoaster.

[@nicholecornes1915]

Thats right ✅️ I didn't believe in divorce but I DO NOW!

[@leyamariebooth7890]

The narc will launch a smear campaign in the church against the spouse if the spouse becomes passive aggressive and suggests that they speak to the Pastor for help with their marriage. They will NOT allow their spouse to expose their behavior under ANY circumstances. If the spouse is a narc there is no other solution to free yourself but to... FREE yourself. Pretending to be a christian or not, a narc is not sent from God. Darkness and Light can not dwell in the same house!

[@stacyramirez5302]

My ex husband is adored by the pastor. He made them think I was the problem and I was made to look bad. He cheated on me and abandoned me for the woman he now attends church with. The pastor and his wife approve of what he did and said nothing about it. My husband also has always giving thousands of dollars a year to the church in tithes and offerings so why would they make them leave??? They are all dirty and deceptive. Fake Christians!!!!!

[@leyamariebooth7890]

@@stacyramirez5302 I am sorry that you had to go thru such a devastating pain. I no longer believe in the leadership of man for my spiritual growth. I believe that he uses man to deliver his message, but we are not to look upon them, as we look upon him. Satan has taken leadership in churches and God is not happy. God will allow Satans power in your life, to be exposed bc he is trying to guide you out of darkness. Unfortunately as a result, we are left in pain. Afterall, God did tell us to TRUST no man. He means what he says. He left instruction that we are to love... not trust. I thank God for my experience bc I found that I focused more on the narc than him. God knew he was evil and he also knew that many others that I had trusted to sustain me were also evil. I now feel that thru the exposure of those ppl I was delivered. I will always love bc God is love, but I trust only in him. I pray for your healing and deliverence in Jesus name.

[@stacyramirez5302]

@@leyamariebooth7890 you should be able to trust your own husband. Not be betrayed by your spouse. I gave over 20 years of my life to him. He abandoned me with nothing! The woman he is with now was more important. The pastor allows both of them to attend his church. I even called the pastor to talk to him about everything. I was humiliated. I told them that I was going to come to church on a Sunday and stand up in front of the church and let everyone know what my husband did. They told me they would call the police on me and have me removed from the church. They also said they had to call their insurance company because I had made threats against the church which I never did. They made me look like a terrorist. I was so hurt that they treated me the way they did and turned against me all because of my husband. My husband could do anything and never be held accountable because they like him so well. And the fact he tithes thousands of dollars a year. The woman he is with now is welcomed in their church and I am a horrible person.

[@leyamariebooth7890]

@@stacyramirez5302 ...OMG, I can see why you are so hurt and frustrated. I can also see your point about a woman should be able to trust their husband. All that I can say about that is, we are born in the flesh which is sinful. A man, or woman for that matter is imperfect. How can we trust that an imperfect person will be without fault. We cant. I can only pray that when my husband faces temptation that he puts on the armour of the Lord to fight against it. I dont trust him the man thats in the flesh, I trust the Lord that covers his flesh. Only a true man of God has his protection. Narcs fool us to believe that they are good in all things. They are fools gold. They sparkle and shine, and then they get dirty and they tarnish. Pls dont allow him to steal your sparkle. You are the real deal thats why he tried to destroy you. Best believe the woman he is now with will be tortured with pain and downfall by the narc. No one gets spared when you deal with the darkness. He is feeding off her energy, just like he fed off yours. No good will come to him or her. As for the church folk, God is gonna sift them like flour. Vengence is mine said the Lord. I am sending you a great big hug and I want you to know you are not alone in your healing.

[@stacyramirez5302]

@@leyamariebooth7890 My whole life was destroyed and I have nothing to start over with because he has everything. The pain they caused me I don't think I will ever heal or recover from it all. Thanks for taking your time to reply and trying to understand how I feel because I have no one who understands not even family to turn to. My own family would rather lie to cover up all the deception or not talk to me at all. I deal with everything by myself.

[@user-ir5ul1ph1c]

You are spot on. I too struggled with the idea of divorcing. At the request of my pastor, I separated and spent a year praying, going to counseling and giving him a chance to fight for the marriage. He did not. So I made the most difficult decision of my life and divorced less than two years after the wedding. You are exactly right to say we don't need any body's approval. God sees and knows all.

[@alwayslove456]

I really really appreciate you taking the time to read emails, think about the situation, and sitting down to record. That is dedication. I have never emailed you but these videos have been so helpful for me while separating myself from someone like this. You are one of the only people on youtube who looks at narcissism from a biblical point of view. Thank you.

[@jamiecronin967]

I think most Pastor's are Wolves in Sheep's clothing cause they lack discernment. In truth, they were not called by God. They just went to school. It is dangerous to listen to someone who lacks discernment. Even if they know the Bible front and Back. They can cause others to lose their discernment. Because they are not spiritual. And if you listz to them you wil lose real understanding. That is why they are wolves. And they are oblivious to Narsassist abuse because it is not spelled out in the Bible literally, even though it is. They empower narcs. They are wolves.

[@JustineMfulama]

So true! I love talking about how the bible and mental health can go hand in hand.

[@feliciahunter9507]

I admire people that care truly want to unselfishly help people. God bless this Man.

[@claudia1718]

Thank you for speaking in this, Pastor Blake! My Christian narcissist ex married his mistress after abandoning me and his children. Now is a so-called leader in the church in another city and an “inspiring” AA speaker. It has been devastating for me and the kids, but I thank God for saving us from worse destruction. God is good...all of the time!

[@starr6850]

Wowww

[@starr6850]

@mills caldwell yessss because my husband of 12 years too make long story short is homeless.....i told him he ask me can i atleast let him stay to the 20th of this Dec....i said sure no problem.....out of the blue, not even 12hours in...he wanted to move alllll his stuff....i said well where u gonna go....its not like we had been arguing...he was just drinking and thinking...he moved all his stuff 3days ago....when i went through his phome....their it was..he was asking his x girlfriend of 2mos..his sister friend... How much he miss and love her..vice versa..she told him to come live with her......NOW..the trip out part about it......im 39 yrs of age....this 51year old woman knows me....PERSONALLY.......not only that....he was texting the 3rd supplyer another x she is 60 he was telling her the same thing.......on top of that ...this dude had the nerve last night to call me asking me can he stay 1 more night.....soo with all that said....they gonna forever being doing the same thing until jesus cjrist come backk.

[@claudia1718]

mills caldwell Thank you for your encouragement! I pray for peace and strength for you and your kids. ✨🙏✨

[@claudia1718]

Starr , stay strong and know that God is saving you from more pain and destruction by taking that man out of your life! I pray for strength and peace for you! ✨🙏✨

[@NarnianLady]

these guys sure know how to be inspiring and get admiration.. it is all a part of their false persona.

[@TraceFaceIt]

Without even watching this video, and having been married to one for 6 years... I tell you what you do... you get out! As fast as you can!

[@milokaz2753]

Many greetings from Europe. I'm a psychologist and this Pastor's understanding and explaining is very accurate in my opinion. Love it! Thank you Pastor!

[@troid4366]

I agree with what you said but the “righteous persona” can play against the spouse of the narcissist. Everyone thinks the spouse is crazy because the “righteous persona” makes the narcissist appear to be such a good person. They have no clue what the person is like behind closed doors! Mine took pride in never raising their voice or hitting me. They always appeared so calm and set me up to be triggered in public or in front of the children so I looked crazy. Always twisted scripture to make me feel guilty or look bad.

[@troid4366]

Thank you so much for your videos! God bless you, your family and ministry!

[@adriannebirge7644]

Troi D story of my life.

[@rebekah9947]

I experienced the same. Hugs

[@rebekah9947]

Only difference was when abuse was physical, he made it look like an accident.

[@danilaroche1156]

Be in Who cares what people think. I left my narc ex-husband after he tried to kill me. My life improved exponentially. God actually warned me in a dream not to marry him but I was a dummy and didn't listen. God always warns us when danger is imminent so y'all listen up!

[@queenequity9835]

Wow! Pastor. I am responding to when you said people said hang in there and would not come to your funeral. This is a harsh truth. We need to take charge of our lives and live for God and not man. I was marred to a Pastor Narc for only 8 months. He tried to walk the dog on me, He surprised me with divorce papers and I went through with it. I knew it was coming I ran like I was running from a monster. (I was). I ran!

[@bronycrutchfield9368]

I Wish more Christian pastors spoke with boldness like this! Thank you!

[@Dxrkzvn-]

Yes!

[@nkeirukaanyadufu3607]

You can say that again 👌

[@SheilaTrueLove]

The Bible clearly states that what God joins together let no one separate, not what Satan joins together - Mark 10:9, Matthew 19:6. God would never join one of His daughters to a Narcissist or someone who's going to abuse and mistreat her. Therefore, that relationship should be torn apart. That so called "marriage" is NOT really a marriage at all. Women and men need to let GOD and CHRIST pick their mate, at the same time people have got to learn to accept that marriage is NOT for everyone.

[@CodyCole80]

Throughout my years of dating, I’ve found that it’s usually the “so-called church going, Bible-thumping” men that are the worst-manipulative, deceptive, and abusive (in every manner). I’m not interested in dating anymore “church men.”

[@mesidye]

no lies detected there !!

[@spearmintmedia]

I dealt with a youth pastor who was like that

[@oshun2866]

I was in a relationship with one. He would berate me privately and post praise the lord on social media all in the same 10 minutes. After eight months I escaped during his discard phase and when he returned to hoover me back I was MIA. His attempts to reach me went unanswered and blocked. I shut down my Facebook, Instagram accounts. It’s been six months of peace and I think I’m finally free! Hallelujah!

[@kynathomas4809]

I said that to someone year's ago.

[@ayandatholwana528]

So true they hide behind the bible

[@beckyvegalifecoach2481]

I love this video. I believe there should be a second part to this video and explain how to exit the relationship and a plan of escape. The reality is there is no future with a narcissist. I believe the church needs to start preaching and educating people about this topic. Great job explaining this. I have a Facebook page called fearlessly forward to encourage women to move forward from abusive relationships and leave fear behind ❤️

[@terrymom7773]

@Rebecca Vega I agree 100% im married 23 yrs and went to counseling with my narc husband too many times to count. Each time he charmed them and minimized his actions. Gaslighting at its height! Its only this summer that I found out this behaviour is a narcissist and I've been agonizing what to do. Finally realized i need to get out and find another church. Working on my escape plan at this moment. I'll check out your FB page. Thx for doing that, sorely needed.

[@daniellemccarter5706]

Rebecca Vega The family court does too.

[@rhythmoflove2]

Was married to a clever narc Christian for almost 14 years. Been divorced for a little over a year and I still don’t know how I survived it. Even though I got out alive, I am still experiencing the horrible effects of that union. Thank God for my therapist and I suggest people seek a licensed therapist outside the church because most church people will convince you to stay in an unhealthy marriage and tell you to trust God. Thank you for bringing awareness to this silent and deadly behavior.

[@morningsong8077]

Sad, but true. The “church” often stigmatizes the abused and shames them for their lack of faith, submission, loving behavior, worry, fear, etc.

[@davidhinkson8856]

And you wonder why people become atheists after going through this kind of thing and getting no mileage when seeking help from God's people?

[@marywolfe6598]

They most likely do not change... Plan a way of escape. God doesn't want His children to be abused. And, that's what narcissists do.....they abuse.

[@donnalangley117]

Oh thank you so much. Before my marriage blew up. I tried so hard to get my ex to go for counseling. He was so angry and refused, he said I was telling all those people about him and making him look bad. I did not realize how mentally abused by him I was then. Thank you so much for these videos, they help so much and answer questions that I have had.

[@jessicariddell1976]

Thank you, Mr. Blakes, for covering this topic. I have been married to a covert narc for 16 years and have finally decided to end it. So many Christians feel like divorce is wrong on ALL accounts, and that they need to keep suffering and "loving" and "forgiving" their narcissistic spouse no matter what, regardless of how badly they are abused and mistreated. While forgiveness, long suffering, and love are most definitely important principles to have in a marriage with a normal person, they simply do not work with a narcissist as they will only continue to take advantage of their spouse's good graces every single time (and like you said, they will defininely weaponize and twist scriptures that they find convenient as a power play on their spouse!) Our God is a God of freedom, not bondage, and He lays out some very clear guide lines for how a marriage is supposed to work. The narcissist of course has no interest in fulfilling their marriage role or operating by those guidelines, even if he makes a show of pretending to in public. While it is possible for normal people to learn and grow and turn an ungodly marriage into a Godly one, there is no such hope if married to a narcissist (short of an absolute miracle). He is his own god (regardless how much he claims otherwise), and is perfect in his own mind. Therefore, he lacks any motivation to learn or grow as is needed in a healthy marriage (why would you have to improve perfect?), and will avoid or refuse any effort to get him to do so. Also as a "perfect" narcissist, he is unable to empathize, loves drama, and cannot be responsible for his own mistakes if his life depended on it (perfect people don't make mistakes, so it must be all his spouse's fault). Therefore, all problems will be perpetuated instead of solved, all to the detriment and eventual destruction of the marital bond (in a normal marriage, problem solving strengthens the bond between a husband and wife, reinforces trust, and allows growth in both individuals). Instead of hearing and understanding, the spouse of a narcissist is met with rage, defensiveness (regardless of how gentle the subject is broached), denial, blame-shifting, gaslighting, or lies and false promises that are never made good on if they try to talk to their spouse about any "tough" subject. The only part that I disagree with as far as what you said is forcing counseling with them. Like the sociopaths and psychopaths that also share the dark triad, narcissists do not benefit from counseling, and are often made worse in their ways for it. Whereas a typical someone goes to counseling to learn tools to help their personal issues and be able to improve themselves, the narc has no such intention. He takes those tools and uses them as even further weapons and leverage against his spouse, learning how to improve his acting skills and mind games to make them even more effective. Especially when the counselor involved is not well experienced with narcissism, this can lead to the narc's spouse being twice victimized as the narcissist fools the counselor into believing the spouse is the narcissist (I've been there). They are absolute masters in the art of deception, and likely to win over and charm anyone who is not familiar with their games.

[@LavitaBaldwin]

Absolutely 💯 💯 💯 💯

[@lashondraburse2378]

True wolves in sheeps clothing!!

[@stacyramirez5302]

And nobody believes you. My husband is the definition of a narcissistic. He left me for a woman he attends church with. How could she not know?? After trying to tell the pastor about him how could she trust him?? Or she really doesn't know how abusive he was to me and thinks he is a good godly man. He is hiding it from everyone.

[@roslynkelley-world8692]

Amen

[@sweetrose813]

Very true

[@sweetrose813]

I'm so thankful that you chose the kingdom of God! You're a good minister of that gospel my friend I am thankful for True man of God

[@bellyfulochelly4222]

Wow this is the best counsel I've heard on the subject. May God bless you, Pastor!

[@asmack360]

GAME OVER for all Narcissist Man or Woman! Great job pastor right exactly on target breakdown.

[@eldaash3473]

I was married to a narcissistic pastor. Your points are dead on! As soon as I questioned his decisions he tried to “discard “ me , by claiming that I was having an affair. That was the only biblical reason to divorce . When no one believed him, he ran me down with his car at the mailbox and left me on that country road for dead. They are desperate to protect that false personna. Never underestimate their lack of empathy-

[@shug_no_avery8172]

Yesss they will physically or literally kill u to protect their ego and that’s sick within itself

[@beckyyoung7395]

Your teaching is spot on, and I appreciate you! I’m now divorced after 41 yrs of living ignored by a covert narcissist, and was so depressed, I was praying to die. I found videos by Peace and Harmony and couldn’t believe how she taught exactly what I lived. Her teaching along with others. and you, were vital for my well being. Thank You!

[@maslinebere2622]

Becky Young Was he always cold? No affection? Criticisms? Nitpicking

[@gailrosenberg48]

My exact experience for 35 years and finally suicidal. Left 14 months ago. So many legalistic Christians have given me their so called Godly advice! Makes me nauseous to think they love the same Jesus I love. Forgive and move on. I am hugging you Becky, in my heart!!!!!

[@gailrosenberg48]

Covert narcs are the worst cuz they seems so harmless and humble to everyone else, but the wives....we know.

[@daniellemccarter5706]

Glad you all left but how do you stay that long 3 years is too long.

[@hairbymilkandhoney7916]

I’ve been through it! And I got out! I pray for others who are still living this type of disfunction! 🙏

[@StandupGirl-ym3ey]

This is my mom....I've been waiting for this from you!!! My whole life I've been bible whipped with the word! "Honor that mother .... Mother has been toxic and entitled my whole life! I always knew something wasn't right because she wasn't nurturing, loving, supportive but very ENTITLED to everything we had or obtained on our own! Lemme finish watching this tho ....lol

[@janetfeig5]

My husband said he wants to be “happy”. And that, to him, means divorce. But he never was happy and now he’s worse off with a new level of not being happy. Marriages do not make one “happy”. Other people cannot make one happy. It’s up to you individually to find happiness. I wish I was emotionally stronger years ago. But I wasn’t. So I never did anything and now most of my life is gone. But I never gave myself permission. I do need emotional support, but it will never come from my spouse. I lean on God now to meet aneven greater need for support as I divorce late in my life, with a ton of health issues.

[@gailrosenberg48]

Janet--I am in exactly the same situation. 70 years old today! Separated 17 months, not divorced. He is still clueless about how he broke me slowly over 35 years. My hope is in Jesus. He supplies my needs and brings me so much comfort and peace. I have never felt closer to Him. He is your Rock. He is your Justice. He knows every detail of what happened to you and how long it took you to recognize the ungodliness in your spouse. Keep your faith alive! I sing worship songs as loud as I can everyday to lift me into the throne room. It is a sure cure for depression. Hugs.

[@janetfeig5]

Gail Penniman Thanks so much for those encouraging words. ❤️❤️❤️

[@nursecward]

I think I could write a book on narcissistic behavior, character and schemes. I was married to 1 for over 20 yrs, 2 of my siblings, my grandmother and an aunt are all narcissists. The Lord has raised me up and He has revealed to me WHY I have been surrounded by and in a spiritual war with the spirit that works through these type of people, my entire life. The 1st things to remember and look for are (they are self boasting braggers, they constantly make fun of or put others down and they are chronic obitual liars.) They will lie to people right in front of you, even when you KNOW for a FACT they are lying. You see these traits.... just run the other direction. Don't think for even a minute you can change them. RUN AND CUT ALL TIES!

[@stacyramirez5302]

How can you cut ties with your own family members. I got abandoned by my narcissistic husband and left with nothing to start over with. I have to continue living with narcissistic family because I have no where else to go and the rest of my family are just as worse. I'm tired of living this horrible life.

[@Michelle-06]

Thank you for taking time to see about people in need! Thank you also for your wonderful Books Soul Ties and Father Daughter Talk Thank you Pastor Blakes for your prayers and really wanted everyone to be healed and delivered God bless you Pastor Blakes and Continues to use you for his will and purpose

[@mgnfcnt7628]

Thank you so much for the message. I’ve recently been forced to separate myself physically from one of my parents due to this very thing. It was extremely hard but The Almighty showed me how to break the ungodly soul tie emotionally first and by the time the physical separation came about it wasn’t as painful. I’m grateful to still have so much love in my heart toward my parent and understand that just because I love you doesn’t mean I have to allow you to emotionally abuse me. The peace I have now is outstanding and I praise Jesus everyday for it.

[@TheMonica82]

Amen.. I had to "no-contact" my mother/father family for that same reason also.. The Lord Jesus healed me through his Holy Spirit.. God Bless~

[@mgnfcnt7628]

TheMonica82 amen 🙏🏽 God Bless you

[@blueskiesforever114]

Thank you pastor! This message was such and is such a blessing to me. I married a narcissist and felt my soul being robbed from me. I divorced him.. and always felt guilty of doing that. I spoke to minister years ago, who gave little support. Still, my to not let him destroy me preservered . I have felt God was punishing me .. since then .. after praying for years to meet a Christian man who with a good heart. They has not occurred .. so I figured this was my punishment. Now I come from a mother that’s definitely afflicted with narcissism .. and a “ religious Christian”!that made our growing up tortuous, and pure hell. My Dad passed way too early.. and I believe The narcissism affected his health greatly. In fact, I feel it was the reason his immune system tanked, and developed cancer. This message helps relieve the burden of guilt .. from your down to earth, common sense .. and supportive counsel. Thank you again pastor! Blessings!! ✝️

[@morningsong8077]

Health disorders are no joke! These people can bring all the things on. I have CML (chronic myelogenous leukemia), and my mom passed away from Alzheimer’s Disease two years ago. It’s real, everyone. The sooner you get out, the better!

[@cp9023]

Thank you for the clarification. The church needs these words of wisdom. I just left my pillar. It is not easy. God opened doors to make it possible.

[@morningsong8077]

Good for you! Be safe!

[@singingeaglep3253]

Excellent Pastor! May I add to use wisdom for anyone planning to leave a violent narc spouse. Pray much, seek Gods direction and have a backup plan to protect you and your children.

[@crystal.knightrwe]

Have you covered the narcissistic Christian mother? My mother is a covert narcissist, she is evil personified. I love your talks. So much wisdom. Thank you for sharing and caring.

[@life7777ful]

mine too...only discovered this year that she is a narcissist....smh

[@toolboxevolution7456]

Wooooow. Pastor GETS these types of people. This is my entire Dad to a tee. Nothing to say right now. I just need to marinade on this message but I certainly appreciate it.

[@Missprimnproper]

I hope you can do an entire video on how to get your life back after a narcissist. I went through a series of events over the past 4 years including underlying narcissistic abuse that I didn't realize was happening. I can't seem to feel normal again. I am isolated from everyone. I feel like I am living someone else's life, not mine.

[@tania0070]

I can relate. Feel numb and can't seem to find enjoyment.

[@OhYeahTheNightNurse]

😢I’m in the process of healing. This type of person really diminishes one’s capacity to love and trust.

[@ktclassykc5005]

Tania Thomas connect w yourself. Do something only you would do w out them. Solo travel or join a meetup group of your interest. Get out the house and have dinner w God. Apathy is real, but God is great God and will deliver you. ❤️💕💕❤️💓

[@terrymom7773]

@Virtuous woman Feeling the same. They isolate and control for so long. When you finally realize whats happening, theres no one left to turn too. Forcing myself to go to events alone. Praying to find new, true friends.

[@morningsong8077]

You can do it! Praying you get your life back more abundantly than ever! Don’t let anyone lead you to believe that you don’t deserve it - you totally do! You’re worth Jesus’ shed blood - Honey, that makes you PRICELESS!

[@mamabearc4263]

"At some point, the courage in you has to take over". This is so true. I look back to 2 years ago when I took my kids and ran. I know 100% that I just had to close my eyes and do what did not come naturally, but was necessary for mine and my children's survival. I was overwhelmed by what I'd done. God has been healing me from the feelings of guilt. I now know that if it hadn't have been me, it would've been someone else that would've fallen prey to the abuse. I was only able to get out and stay out due to the prayerful few that stood with me and kept me focused. It cannot have been God's will for me to be daily disrespected by a cheating, controlling, minister husband, who has never expressed remorse. You can't fight this type of situation, it will destroy you. You have to step away and leave these individuals to God! If it's that bad, you'll know what I'm talking about. You have to get out. Pray, and trust that God will help you to identify good people who can help get you through it. Much love xx

[@morningsong8077]

How are you doing now?

[@LynnT6904]

I am in a marriage like this. I am just now understanding that my husband has a narcissistic bent. (A term I learned from a psychiatrist who also has a KZbin channel). I have started the process of educating myself on this topic, so I have subscribed to several sites on this topic. So, I’d like to say THANK YOU to you for doing something’ on the topic of a “Christian Narcissist” because there’s not much information about that type of Narcissist relationship that can be found online. So thank you, thank you! 😇 In saying that about the Narcissist bent, that means there’s a continuum of 0-100% of how much Narcissistic traits a person may have. In my husbands case, I think it’s at least a 70%! And he is the COVERT TYPE! And when they are a Christian, they can hide it easier with their Christian values and their Christian persona they project publicly to others. It’s absolutely true too that they have these “flying monkeys” people around them to validate them because these people don’t know the true person that they really are. Also they usually have a “golden child” and scapegoat the other children. As you can see, I am learning a few new terms in the process of educating myself on this topic. In my case, I became disabled 8 years ago with a rare condition that I had to go across the country to the Cleveland Clinic to be diagnosed and have a surgery done. After surgery I am in the process of trying to heal all the collateral damage that occurred from not being diagnosed for so long and treated for so long. I am mentioning this because, As I have learned the hard way, that once you become vulnerable or sick or disabled etc. is when you really learn how narcissistic a person really is! This person really takes a nose dive into narcissism when you are no longer an asset! I have learned that when you become no longer useful to them, the narcissism truly shows! Usually they start looking for another asset to take your place. When they are a Christian this may be a toxic or dangerous thing because of their Christian values they will not fall around with someone else completely although they may work on developing a relationship with someone else outside of having sex with them. The reason I say this is a dangerous position to be in, Is because I think you are now in the way of them moving on to their next ambition project! When I thought about possibly being in the way of something else that he is wanting to do, this made me realize that this is not a good position to be in. Sometimes I think that he is giving me the silent treatment (A big sign of covert narcissism) all the time and kicking up his covert narcissism to the hundred percent notch in order to try to get me fed up enough to be the one to leave first. But when you have lived with someone with this problem so long, such as I have, you llearn to basically ignore, overlook the SILENT TREATMENT or just allow them to be the way they are. You truly become codependent and lose a true sense of yourself. I am learning more on this topic every day. Because I believe knowledge is power, I feel this is the only way to meaningfully and successfully navigate this situation. But as I’ve educated myself on this topic, I realize now that it was always there. My thoughts and feelings never mattered and there was never any sympathy or empathy along the way as I was going downhill with this condition. Dr. LesCarter,a psychologist, talks about how narcissistic personality people are usually emotionally damaged from something that happened to them during childhood and they have trouble forming proper relationships. I learned from him that narcissistic people look at all relationships as transactional. Meaning that you’re either an asset or a liability. You’re an asset if you are a flying monkey but not an asset if you are scapegoated. This made me remember that before I married him, he made the comment that I was his investment. I never took this comment that seriously at the time, but now as I have learned about this, it is very relevant! And during our 16 years of marriage he has made sure that everything is in his name and maintains control over paying the bills or what we buy and don’t buy etc. There’s so much more I could say here about the things that I have now learned that were all purely narcissistic traits that he used Christianity to explain away of why he must do things that way, such as the “man should be the leader of the household “ according to the Bible, etc. Because I paid my own way before I married him and was very used to managing money he would often call me “Miss Independent” and tell me I had to learn to trust and let him be the leader, which I gave in and did because I thought it was my Christian duty to be a proper wife. I hope you will do more videos on this topic because we who are in these types of narcissistic relationships struggle with the way to properly understand them as well as what do we do about it? And how do we handle ourselves and find our way back to ourselves after so many years of allowing them to run over us emotionally? We are truly codependent in a lot of ways. I hope this helps someone else out there! Thank you so much! Also Thank you for the prayer at the end! We needed that!💖

[@deanj8870]

You're absolutely right!!👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼. I always tell someone that I don't believe the Most High want someone to stay in abusive relationship. I was emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually and verbally abused by my daughter's father. The worst, he was warlock or shall I say witch doctor who goes to church with no intimate relationship with the Most High. If he did he would be changed. It sad but it's true. Every person need to listen to this to help him/her. 💯💯

[@lorenebrownlee8360]

Spot on message. Lived it and every word he said was true. After I realized what I was dealing with I went to our pastor for counseling. Discovered he was a narcissist as well and he played us against each other. Devastated but got the strength to confront what I was dealing with and quietly started working on getting out. Was told a smear campaign was coming after he realizes the game was over and it came. I listened to a lot of videos from people that survived and followed their advice to ignore the lies told about you and keep it moving. The divorce is pending and I feel so blessed to come across Bishop Blake’s messages. If I had not heard “you don’t need anyone permission” I would have stayed stuck in misery. Bless you Bishop Blakes for your commitment to helping others!!!

[@rebekah9947]

Yyyyyeeeeeeessssss!!!!!! Thank you for this video!! This is the clearest, most concise explanation of what is going on in the church. I wish I had known this years ago. They are able to fool so many people! God bless you, Minister Blakes!

[@sunshinedayz2172]

A narcissist is a wolf in sheeps Clothing.. I' wasted 33 years enduring abuse. Many pastors and counselors were fooled and manipulated by him only to tell Mr to try harder.. My children grew up in this and it affected them as adults. You need to make your power move before its to late for you or the children.

[@delonltuck]

Narcissists are experts in facades and deception... When this is the basis of a “marriage” it isn’t the a real (God endorsed) marriage to begin with. It’s amazing that preachers are so often trying to get people to save something that isn’t real to begin with. If you were deceived into making a vow with someone who manipulated you, once you wake up..get out. It’s a process, but it shouldn’t unnecessarily prolonged. Good video sir.

[@morningsong8077]

Good word. Thank you.

[@goodgracious6364]

Thank you for addressing this sensitive issue, which is often sweeped under the rug in religious circles or in church forums. Narcissistic mindsets are terribly damaging to victims, particularly those victims who have placed their lives, love and trust in those who profess to be Christians in public, but act like hateful lunatics in private. The betrayal is traumatic and mindboggling, because nobody wants to believe that church folks do unthinkable things and have abusive behaviors--especially if the abusers are pastors or other church leaders.

[@Bella-jy2xu]

Well church leaders and pastor's are abusive because I was abused by a narc in cult church setting & God saved this little 🐑 sheep. No contact indefinitely with Narc's yeeeeek!!

[@Bella-jy2xu]

Pastor excluding you 🤗 please raise the volume off the chart for domestic violence victim's of narcissistas abuse in the church. I'm writing my story to share &help another Sista from another mother. Violence & religious abuse is wrong & is not approved by God. I'm a child of God and He is a zealous God. Let God handle the NARC hiding in the church and the flying monkeys too!! smooches everyone this Creole babe threw out the dingle Berries 👹of the NARC indefinitely!! Yippee I'm free!!!!

[@stacyramirez5302]

Everything you said is true because I lived it.

[@dyoung2739]

Once I realized that I was married to a narcissist as a result of these dedicated KZbinrs,my narcs behavior is so predictable. Thank you,all❤️!

[@jretzlaff2009]

This video is great. It’s taken me nearly 25 years. The man have been married to also a pastor and I’ve crumbled over years of pain and loneliness. God has strengthened me to stand and reclaim my life and purpose that God has placed on my life. The courage has taken over. Thank your sir for you preparation and your words. Truly a blessing!

[@jessbuckner3859]

This hit home MAJORLY!!! Thank you for everything that you contribute- I left a very abusive marriage to somebody who did know the Bible better than me but then God showed me that He has been here by my side the whole time and I got the courage to leave and give me and my kids a better future!!!

[@kimp.6367]

That's why I love to read the comments because you realize that you are not alone. My spouse knows the bible way better than me but he couldn't lead according to scripture. I've dealt with lies, secrecy, misuse of finances, and being acted out on aggressively. I'm now understanding that he may be a narcissist. He definitely showed me in the beginning how he responds to a "no" response. Just trying to find confidence and strength to move on. Now he's pleading and begging making it more difficult.

[@JustineMfulama]

WOW this video is so important. We so often think that Christian can't get anything wrong, but we are all human and struggling with issues of the world. THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS!!!

[@mablefenner1859]

So very much a needed teaching, so enriched and powerful. God had shown me about Vashti and it came to me as a woman how Vashti was abused, but I didn't stand on it because of how most people have preached concerning Vashti as being disobedient. Therefore, I dismissed what I gained from it, but this teaching confirmed that it was the Holy Spirit revealing that to me. God has healed me in so many areas and I'm still standing and know who I am in Christ and I have individuality. I tell people, especially young people, in marriage don't lose who you are because of marriage because God still made us an individual and you have a mind to think for yourself. Thank You Lord for this teaching and Pastor RC Blakes.

[@sharonanderson6926]

My Ex.was a narcissist worked in the church But going with different women so l was the last too know So. He left on his own Which was a blessing .

[@frugalfrugal1307]

A narcissist cannot be a true Christian. They are a wolf in sheep's clothing. There is NO such thing. Get out, stay safe. Jmho.

[@jaclynforero]

Amen. Thank you for this video. It takes so much courage to say what you said about deciding to leave when you realize it’s breaking your soul- the legalistic people will never know the pain and suffering involved with this.

[@lavonneward6068]

A man after God’s heart and filled with wisdom. “A peace and rest will come over you when you follow God “ Sir , with tears and sincere gratitude, thank you!

[@rosalbavarela7333]

Thank you so much for this video. Divorced a narc “Christian” almost a year ago after 11 years of marriage-and I am very happy and the peace that I have in me is only coming from God. These videos are very helpful. Thangs again and many blessings.

[@mememoeller7220]

Thank you so much for speaking truth. That’s the first time I’ve ever heard about the king being wrong and narcissistic.

[@overcomingone9785]

Meme if you watch the story of Esther "One night with the King" she confronts him about why he called for Queen Vashti - probably knowing she would refuse to come. He didn't have an answer for her... powerful movie. Shalom.

[@kelenl5033]

You are so wise. Stayed in 26 years because people in the church encourage to stay on. I am so broken.

[@thegirlatthefrontdesk3519]

Very cool of you to make this connection. Esther has always been one of my favorites. I recently had to accept that my "Christian" upbringing was a facade. I wish more pastors were open to learning about narcissism. I think many believe that using psychology is going against God. One of my pastors had said that we don't need psychology, we need Jesus. In my head I'm remembering that God gave us a sound mind.

[@thinkingthoughts3462]

Thank you for your WISE thoughts. Im 67 and was married in 1971. A Non denominational christian in the music ministry. We didnt know anything about narcissist. Men ruled the roost, god gave that to them. Counseling was always with the pastor who was of the same mind, just obey your husband. After years of this I just left. The church threw me out as I had a Black Heart. He was coddled and taken care of by church, friends and even family. It has tainted my relationships through out my life and I have never recovered my relationship with God. Thank you for giving REAL advise, not just more verbal abuse.

[@cynthiaworkinprogressjenki1157]

Also i think you have to Forgive yourself because when you really see who and what they are its disturbing.....This best way out is to Run!!! it never gets any better it gets worst its a spirit thats not right Period.

[@deborahcollins1100]

I can’t forgive myself because unfortunately I married two narcissistic men and had 3 children with the first one and one with my narcissistic husband that I am still married to and my children have paid for my very stupid decision to marry their dads! They are adults now and all 4 have scars

[@ho66se]

My brother you are so RIGHT! It is horrible. My sister is getting out from under this horrible thing. I saw it from almost the beginning. When she was ready to leave, I knew it was time to support her and clearly state what was happening. Cutting SOUL TIES is a huge key!!! This is such an issue in the church.

[@rebeccaday3400]

Excellent advice. Thanks to God almighty which included a lot of prayer, I escaped safely over 10 years ago. Glory!

[@kimberlyjohnson7953]

I'm currently dealing with the aftermath of leaving a narcissist.He refused counseling and then divorced me. I had to really stay grounded in my heavenly father to get through this and I am still going through it.I've come far enough to know that God is control.This message from you has given me confirmation that I am on the right journey. It's been a long time coming but I am finally coming to a place of peace and I am so thankful for the power of prayer.We were married 25 years and have 3 children and 2 new grandbabies.This caused a lot of division between me and my children but I have faith that God is working it all out.I only have stand firm and stay grounded in the Lord.

[@flowerbuggytunes7624]

Thank you so much for sharing this ON TIME WORD! May God continue to Bless you and your family as you Bless others!

[@craftychris8380]

Thank you for this video, I found it too years after but it has served me well, I am married to a narcissist, I came to that realization this week, after 6 years of marriage and 2 children later. I am in therapy and I am slowly getting my life together. I realized that he loves me broken, not whole. he has been doing everything to derail my attempt to finish school and to get my life together.

[@helenachase5627]

My mom is one. Acts so Pious and is so hateful . She even assaulted another parishioner once. Always claiming to pray for others but she is so full of hate

[@daniellemccarter5706]

Helena Chase Narcs are hypocrites. I’ve watched church ones it’s pitiful.

[@beverlyweathers9248]

Thank you bro. Blake, I was married to a Christian Narcissist Been divorced for 5 years , lo he is trying to infiltrate my life again after all this time, through other channels I believe in hope that I would respond there has been restraining orders, and I have tried to show God’s Grace in order to move on If I encounter him again I will expose him to the world, thanks to social media. In Christ Alone i am more than a conqueror, and no weapon formed against me will prosper.

[@patriciapusey9777]

Thank you Jesus, Hallelujah, now i understand why God pulled me out of that relationship. God I thank you for sending this man your son with such bold & important knowledge.

[@aprilboykin4607]

Going through my own situation.. been married 2 months. It’s been pretty horrible. Seeking God for clarity Thank you a zillion for this video! Seriously!! So so grateful!!!!!!

[@lilianrich5446]

Absolutely pastor Blakes i agree💞💞when you have renewed your mind and are transformed from the inside then make up your mind, no external force can beat that. You can save yourself with God on your side💞💞

[@Kelly-vw6gx]

Amen Pastor! Thank you for understanding narcissism and narcissistic abuse! Thank you for sharing wise words in this video. I recently divorced my malignant narcissist husband. I went no contact. Oh how the peace is music to my ears! No more fear or walking on eggshells anymore!

[@cynthiasensley5668]

It was really good to see you . I used to watch your Dad all the time. I was really Blessed with what you were talking about because I have been through it. My story is to long to explain., but it helped me tremendously, sometimes you think your the only one so this was not an accident that I came by you, May God continue to Bless you.

[@RCBlakesJr.]

Thank you 🙏

[@loveheals9521]

Thank you for this Pastor for talking on this topic. I have been married to a narcissist so called Christian man for 13 years. I know now I should have never married him, I knew what he was like before hand. There is no physical abuse though in the 13 years there's been three times that he pushed or threw something at me. today I have decided to take control I have decided to step back, not cry to him, not explain to him how he hurts me emotionally. I've done it all these years and it never changes. with God's help I am going to find my voice again and do what you have suggested, I am going to exit emotionally first and draw closer to the Lord everyday. Please keep me in your prayers, I have started to follow you and I hope to hear more on this subject. may God richly bless you. Lisa B.

[@normadeluna3349]

Pastor thank you so much. This video really help me. I never tough about divorcing him emotionally first. It is very helpful. I live everyday with out affection kisses hugs and other needs not meet. I also suspect of adultery. I am praying and fasting. It is very. Sad. I question God is this what I deserve. I am in tears now. While writing. But I continue to seek God and praise him for his help and his peace.

[@07JF]

I can relate u . 🙏😭

[@miragepeter8412]

Still doesn't work. If you do presented it to the pastor they have a way to twist it to make the pastor think that you're the problem. It will be hard for the pastor to see when all the poster sees is this person's at their best. I say once you notice... Get out and disappear from your old life. Start knew somewhere else. It will only get worse and can mess your faith up with the Lord.

[@stacyramirez5302]

Worse you can't start over because your husband left you with nothing to start over with. Now he has his dirty bitch with him he didn't care about me. The church they attend together needs to collapse with both of them under it and both need to rot in hell.

[@torontolady5930]

Yes I was so called married to one. I say so called because the church we was in teach that sex is marriage. So we weren't really married. This man pulled out the bible for everything literally. Kept telling me I was going to hell mean while he couldn't stop lieing. If I said no to sex he would pull the bible out. God gave me a way out I took it and ran.

[@heyheyyo2389]

A pastor with common sense! Churches need more pastors like you.

[@stacyramirez5302]

If only church's did have pastors like him with knowledge on narcissism. My narcissistic husband and the church he attends and pastor all participated in humiliating me. They allowed my husband to continue the abuse and manipulation from inside the church. I will never forgive them for what they done.

[@heyheyyo2389]

@@stacyramirez5302 God says to forgive. Bitterness will hurt you, not anyone else. Maybe u could find a more loving church.

[@stacyramirez5302]

@@heyheyyo2389 no I won't attend any church anymore. Im tired of all the fake Christians in the church.

[@heyheyyo2389]

@@stacyramirez5302 there are always fakes in the church. The enemy targets churches. But there are also true Christian's there.

[@Ngesh02]

Wow!! I now understand why 1 Cor 13 states that without Love, all the stuff we do- Prophesying, speaking in tongues, etc are in vain. Love is the Greatest!! The type that's described in the bible 🙏

[@Samalways2525]

I know someone who thinks she just married the love of her life! What a awakening she has to face

[@accordionchick]

Oh dear, you must be talking about my sweet daughter in law. 😢😢😢😢

[@morningsong8077]

My niece. Everyone seemed to see it but her, but no one would tell her. Before the wedding, she asked me to pray for her because she was really stressed. I said I would pray and that it wasn’t too late to “put the brakes on” if she was overwhelmed. She’s such a people-pleaser, though. Then, during the wedding service, her husband’s pastor told my niece that her sole purpose was to be a helper to her husband. Can I just tell you that my daughters and I were exchanging looks like crazy! That pastor has issues.

[@davidhinkson8856]

That's another thing, they are stuck in the Dark Ages when it comes to the roles of men and women in a marriage, and damn you if you have a more progressive and open minded approach in keeping with modern times.

[@josiep1166]

Thank you Dr. RC Blakes. The Holt Spirit spoke volumes. Please keep me in prayer. As I run.

[@yolandamenendez9783]

Thank you for the good advice and examples. I appreciate your style of teaching. Its to the point, simple and sincere.