Mary Poppins Returns | Movie Review | MovieBitches Ep 209

We review the remake revival of Mary Poppins featuring National Treasure Dick Van Dyke, Dame Angela Lansbury, and a bunch of younger less fabulous people including Emily Blunt and Lin Manuel Miranda. It was charming, magical, and way too long.
-MovieBitches (Avaryl & Andrew)
Subscribe to MovieBitches! (goo.gl/IvWXgI)
Please be our Patron! ( / moviebitches )
Get $22 off wine from Winc! - www.trywinc.com/moviebitches
Send us fun shit!
MovieBitches
P.O. Box 641
Agoura Hills, CA 91376-0641
Buy merchandise! (www.moviebitche...)
Thanks @samuelkarie for our amazing new intro!!
Thanks @rikdrawsthings www.rikdrawsthings.com for our fabulous designs.
Follow us!
/ moviebitches
/ moviebitches
www.moviebitche...
/ movieb1tches
"There's a lot of bitch in every woman, a lot in every man"
-Joan Crawford
"When a man gives his opinion, he's a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she's a bitch"
-Bette Davis

[@SayreObrien]

"Is it just their curse that she gaslights every generation of Banks children?!" -Best tagline for this movie. Love it.

[@youllaskforme]

I have such Drag Race fatigue, I’m so excited about this! Yay!

[@youllaskforme]

Also I love Ben Whishaw but I am a Paddington Stan and man it was so weird to hear Paddington’s voice come out of a very sad looking man

[@bafbaas1210]

My mom is the biggest fan of ben wishaw and thinks he's soooo handsome. I'm like "i don't get it, he looks too alieny, timid and a bit malnurished" but then i look at my dad, my brother and myself and i think "oh no, i get it, she clearly has a type".

[@tatianamelendez490]

"Colin Firth and Ben Whishaw should fall in love". ...YASS! Although its a bit sugar daddy-ish given the vast age difference, but still YASS! Although homosexuality was very illegal in England in the 1930s and they would've gone to prison, but still YASS!!!!!! And the kids would've gone to their aunt, and there would be trouble, but still YASS!!!!!

[@decepticonne]

ben whishaw ain't that young I'm just saying

[@tatianamelendez490]

@@decepticonne Young enough that a relationship with Colin Firth could be seen as sugar daddy - esque. He also had a baby face which doesn't help.

[@decepticonne]

@@tatianamelendez490 heh, 40-60 is fine by me. but he does look younger for sure

[@tatianamelendez490]

@@decepticonne Wait, Ben Whishaw is 40?! Damn! I thought he was like 30 or a bit younger! Dear God, that baby face!

[@decepticonne]

Tatiana Melendez he's 38 but he still got that baby face and that twink body life isn't fair :'(

[@pillbobaggins]

"I was actively rooting against their love" Avaryl won best line in the video.

[@atomicdancer]

Oi'd know that sill-you-wette anyware... Mai-ree Pobbins!!

[@KalisteKore]

All the specific "adventures" of this movie like the bath and the china bowl world are from the original book series, and the sequels very much are formulaic copies of the exact same sequence of adventures in the original, so that explains that aspect of the movie a bit. Also in the books Mary Poppins just comes back a year later or something when Jane and Michael are still children, and it is made much more explicit that she DOES rotate around helping/gaslighting other families lol

[@kevinfagan8400]

Random, but please review 1998’s The Parent Trap! With the odd Lindsay Lohan twin thing. There’s so many parts of that movie for you to freak and drink over. 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@ingridbjrnstad4763]

YES!!!!! AND 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU

[@justincard8178]

It was in Robin Williams’ Will and testicle that Disney wasn’t allowed to use the leftover takes or his likeness

[@FantasticBeasts2024]

testament*

[@morganband5711]

Fantastic Beasts it’s a RuPaul’s drag race joke from all stars 4.

[@clara-nt9rx]

Ben whishaw is one of those good actors who is not in enough movies and the ones hes in hes mostly playing the same charachter.

[@eventingirl001]

Have you seen London Spy though....beg your pardon while I lay myself down on my fainting sofa.

[@MeganSin]

Also also, maybe a bedknobs and broomsticks retro review would be fab...

[@maxwellhenschel6956]

So, fun story. I saw this movie at the very end of its run and I really really had to pee. When I heard Meryl Streep beginning a song I stood up and said good time to go to the bathroom. And I did.

[@evaggn6882]

yeesss!. FInally a movie review!!!!!

[@michaelhatton2477]

Okay but can we talk about how great it was that they used 2D animation? In 2018? More please!

[@matthew1322]

can i have a retro review of all about eve?!?!?

[@omirosv]

Matthew Blankley THIS!!!

[@nestorguzman3781]

yes yes yes and yes!!!!!!

[@bradenpoapst]

Speaking of Ben Whishaw can we just talk about how perfectly he plays Paddington in the Paddington movies? (Legitimately, Paddington 2 is better than almost every Best Picture nominee this past year)

[@arthurojimenez883]

I LOVED the costumes in this movie. Glad it was nominated for Costume Design but I AM GLAD Black Panther won which broke the chain of period pieces winning since Prisilla.

[@radlee974]

Arthuro Jimenez Daaaamn, somebody seems to be rather well versed/informed on Costume Design nominees and winners for the Oscars! I’m actually assuming that your knowledge of costume design stretches much further beyond just the Oscars and, dare I say, that you more-than-likely have quite the passion for costuming in general? (Or perhaps you’re just interested in the Oscars, or maybe award shows and/or film in general!) Either way, thank you for the interesting C.D./Oscars “fun fact” that you tossed out to be stumbled upon here in the comments! ANYWAY, sorry I’m a nut-so, haha, but have a good one, fellow Movie Bitches fan and friend! 😊

[@arthurojimenez883]

Bradley Griffiths I love all 3! Costumes, Films, and the Academy Awards! I’m planning on majoring in film/ design in college. I either want to become a Costume Designer or a Cinematographer. It’s never too early to start learning about what you want to be.

[@ET_Bermuda]

You guys need to review both HAPPY DEATH DAY movies! It's right up your alley.

[@FreeToBeAFreak]

I vaguely remember they did do the first one but idk what happened to it.

[@tiagomoura2975]

Can you PLEASE review Olivia Colman's Oscar speech? XD i found it as charming as this movie haha

[@D3z1n3r]

There were multiple Mary Poppins books by P.L. Travers. They could have used ANY of the other stories that were not adapted into the original and had a new movie. Not sure why this movie plot rehashed the themes of the original so badly.

[@FantasticBeasts2024]

So true

[@tatianamelendez490]

Because the author, P.L. Travers, had it put in her will that Disney will NEVER adapt another one of her stories cause she hated the original so much. Disney would've been in serious legal problems against her estate if they tried to get the rights to her other novels. So they only really had the one novel to adapt from, even if they maybe might've sneaked in elements from the other novels.

[@bblivid]

So what you’re saying is that in times of financial crisis it’s only the Banks who receive the help

[@jackk4220]

I definitley think that Angela Lansbury’s role was most likely originally for Glynis Johns, but Lansbury killed it! Wish she could have sneaked in a Bedknobs and Broomsticks reference!!!!!

[@cecelia996]

It was actually meant for Julie Andrews but she didn't want to over shadow Emil'y performance

[@Laurenjoinsyoutube]

Will Smith is not even funny. He’s a horrible choice for any comedy

[@truhorhonor5966]

Yes, definitely retro review 'Heartbreakers" with Sigourney Weaver. That is a such fun, funny entertaining movie! The hilarious laughter in reference to the 'Girls Will Be Girls' poster (drag queen) only made me love you two even more!!

[@chrissy1329]

I'm currently back being obsessed with the Chicago soundtrack and you mention it a lot love to see a retro review.

[@moviecrush8624]

"Can we talk about the plot?" cut "The parents are dead." And the award for best comedic timing in editing goes to... Moviebitches

[@MrHenry84]

I'm, naively, hoping for a "Murder She Wrote"-reboot with Dame Angela Lansbury on Netflix :)

[@Samenameasme]

Meryl's character was pointless , the bowl fixing thing made no difference! It never really came up again which was annoying. This film was okay but wasted a lot of time on things that had no relevance where as the time could have been better spent on giving more information on characters or things that could have been explained better. Also YES to The Great Mouse Detective!!

[@C_M_R]

Jane is older, but due to Primogeniture, Michael gets the estate because he is the first male heir. Elizabeth II was only Queen because she was the oldest sister with no male siblings.

[@WedgeOfSpite]

And all the other claimants to the throne, were also women. Mary (later Queen of Scots) or the Grey sisters, etc.

[@nathancreek6086]

@@WedgeOfSpite Elizabeth II sis, the current reigning, not Elizabeth I

[@liamtaylor2929]

I think that law has been changed now so heir only depends on age

[@WedgeOfSpite]

@@nathancreek6086 This is what I get for reading stuff, in between other stuff. LOL. I read it as Elizabeth I, obviously. But same thing applied to Elizabeth II. Though luckily England/the UK didn't have actual Salic Laws, just primogeniture.

[@niknikvideo]

the lack of acknowledgement of emily blunt’s catherine zeta jones wig in the cartoon music hall number is criminal but ill forgive it since finally someone agrees that lin’s speed talking is tiresome, and not rapping!!

[@FantasticBeasts2024]

I thought of the same thing!

[@ColorOfSakura]

You know when Aladdin gets turned into a Prince off his first wish, The Genie is gonna basically call him the “Fresh Prince of [insert vaguely Persian sounding place].” Hell, they may just still call it Bel-Air

[@reianienbach]

I LOVED the great mouse detective as a kid! Please retro review!!!

[@thisnerdyninja]

I mean, Emily Blunt admitted herself that she’s terrified of the idea of Mary Poppins.

[@erasmobadillo-pena3327]

Aladdin isn't even shirtless, what a shame

[@MeganSin]

Yay! I remember seeing this the last day they were showing it in my local theater out of boredom because I had seen basically everything else and I liked it. I thought it was a good movie I would watch with my nieces. Having said that I agree with mostly everything you said (except I do like Lin-Manuel, but I don’t think you should have done his speed singing but I get why they did but not necessary) also the whole time I, too, was obsessed with Emily’s outfits! I love a good 30s/40s style pants combo.

[@hernalexito]

Am I the only one that doesn’t find Winshaw attractive ? He looks like he hit puberty at 27. He also looked like he was wearing his dads clothes. They were too big for him

[@FantasticBeasts2024]

This movie was kinda average tbh. None of the songs were memorable.

[@hankylott9009]

either i spend too much time on youtube or i'm lucky enough to always go to the home page and find your new video there

[@Teekay93_]

Omg now I want you guys to review Bright young things. Michael Sheen and fenella Wollgar are so good in it

[@TY-qr4dq]

I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. Like, it made me happy watching it, something that is really needed right now. I really enjoyed the songs, too. But when Dick Van Dyke showed up I got so happy. Then, Angela Lansbury showed up, oh my God, I was so freaking excited and happy. I knew they were going to have a cameo, but I was just thrilled when they showed up. Also, down for the sequel

[@TY-qr4dq]

Posted before I finished typing lol. Anyway, I'd be down for a sequel about Jane and her eventual lesbian lover. Just saying.

[@johnsonnnikki]

yay finally movie reviews! i felt so out of the loop with rupauls drag race as i don’t watch it:( thank you for this darlings!

[@youghvaudough]

LOVE Ben Whishaw. Really talented and such a cutie.

[@Yoho-si1bq]

Avaryl is slaying with her hair bands

[@decepticonne]

seeing Ben Whishaw with a mustache quenched my thirst for a good 6 hours and I'm at peace with that

[@amandal8601]

Loved this review you guys are freakin Amazing!!

[@clara-nt9rx]

This is one of the most boring movies Ive ever seen.

[@WhatsBliss]

My eyebrow went up at the BMX bikes. I spit my drink at the fire dancing.

[@FantasticBeasts2024]

Mary Poppins is immortal I guess. So I guess Bert is dead?

[@jordangrosshart8783]

“You’re a different person. Ok watch my children.” She’s 100% a Time Lord. This is Missy’s new face....

[@FantasticBeasts2024]

The Nanny McPhee sequel was better let’s be honest.

[@annarose932]

This did just feel like a Nanny McPhee inspired movie

[@Plumpyana]

In the books may Mary Poppins is an immortal being

[@in9220]

YESSSS YOU REFERENCED ZOOLANDER THATS MY FAVORITE MOVIE EVER

[@marklanon]

I think Rob Marshall would be a great match to do an A Chorus Line movie

[@SpiritWhisperer]

I was so happy Angela Lansbury sang a song at the end. Fantastic. I enjoyed this movie quite a bit. I thought it was a good version of those old Disney Musicals (which I Loved). Great costumes & production design. I could watch it again.

[@bloggerblogg5878]

I saw an interview with her, recently and it was after this movie and she said, I can go back the Broadway anytime I am sure I can do it...but in my age... She was just full of life in 93( the interview time)

[@SpiritWhisperer]

@@bloggerblogg5878 ❤💚💜

[@JosePerez-bq1sp]

Andrew should speak with that cockney accent for every review

[@alibird7924]

Omg are you serious Avaryl, how is Mary Poppins Returns better than force awakens? 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@michaelhatton2477]

Ali* Bird probably because this one doesn’t have Han Solo dying. Spoilers...

[@christopherjordan1169]

Please review The Favourite soon 😍

[@fadhilramadhani1847]

I fell asleep during the big animated musical number. You didn't even talk about Mary Poppins herself until after half of the video. These facts are saying a lot about this movie.

[@bryandillon4095]

If they wait 30 years then Mary Poppins would be in England in the Mod 60s. so.... no.

[@κουκλάμου-ψ7γ]

i’m only here to listen to your thoughts on absolute legend angela lansbury edit: angela is forever and always a LEGEND and you agree

[@MusicalAtmosphere]

"A weird copy of the original movie and also an undermining of everything in it." That is the PERFECT description of 'Mary Poppins Returns' !! 😄 I think the company wanted to be so careful with staying in the spirit and appeal of the original film that they produced something that doesn't add up overall. For as much as they shouted "Sequel not remake!", it sure felt more like an uninspired remake.

[@GregBurns-j4v]

Um, did either of you get any minor vibes that Jane might be a lesbian? Union organizer. Less feminine style of clothing. Bet she wore Birkenstocks, drove a Jeep Wrangler, and whose favorite stores were Lowes and Home Depot. Um? 🤔 Also, did you catch the adorable cameo by the original 1964 Jane? She was the woman who Michael ran into while she was asking the new Jane and Jack for a correct address. She shows her appreciation with the last line of her childhood tune: "Many thanks, SINCERELY..." 😃👍

[@rhino1876]

OMG YAAAAS. I was waiting eagerly for this review! I saw the movie in theatres with a bunch of ladies from my fam jam. I literally went into it saying "Julie Andrews is not about to sing to you. Julie Andrews is not in the movie. Do not expect Julie Andrews." I failed. I fell asleep for the WHOLE 'china bowl' scene. Can't tell you what happened. Also I cared very little to none at all for the twins. I just liked the younger brother. I tried. I really really tried. But I failed. Than when Maryl Streep started to singin my head said "Where's Julie wuen you need her most?!" The ending was like whatever. The kids literally play no real part of getting their house back. I sat there thinking WHAT IS THE LIFE LESSON. WHAT WAS I SUPPOSE TO LEARN. The costumes were nice. Some songs were goodish and felt well composed. Overall? 'Yeah that's gonna be a no from me dawg.'

[@anntastic100]

Avaryl! I had the same exact idea with Robin Williams saying all his same lines (love the addition of the improved bits) and I have been telling everyone that idea since I heard they were remaking it. Great minds think alike 😁

[@larala21mil]

Dame Angela Lansbury is a treasure

[@iain9757]

Now I just want Cher to say Mary Poppins quotes

[@Jacobyeavello]

Who's that Pokemon!?: AYD KNOW THAT SILLYOUETE ANYWARE! IT'S MOVIEBITCHES INNIT!

[@FankMatthew13]

Yes to Great Mouse Detective!

[@eventingirl001]

Retro Review Requests: Captain Mike, The Money Pit, War of the Roses, Jewel of the Nile/Romancing the Stone, Serial Mom...Any movie with Kathleen Turner. Is Kathleen Turner on Fabulous Cunt Island? Oh for Halloween; Interview with a Vampire, The Wasp Woman (one of my favorite Monster Movies!!!), if you want to torture yourself...Queen of the Damned or Dracula 2000 with baby Gerard Butler.

[@julianhirsch4395]

To be fair- CALLING THE MOVIEBITCHES BOOK CLUB! All Mary Poppins Books are basically the same... even if you dont want to read all books just read the Wikipedia article. they have a table comparing every plot point...

[@GregBurns-j4v]

Did it also piss you off thar they were using non-1934 era BMX bikes to do non-1934 era stunts?! 🤬

[@GooseFinder]

Funny Bette Davis was mentioned because in the original Mary Poppins movie, she was one of the actresses to be CONSIDERED to play Mary Poppins! Lmao

[@gregburns5638]

Emily Mortimer plays the railway station flower girl in the movie "Hugo", where Sacha Baron Cohn's mean security officer (with the HUGE dog... 😱) has the hots for her...

[@gregburns5638]

Actually, Bette Davis DID play a somewhat evil nanny in a mid-1960's British film, where she may or may not have killed the children... It was an AWFUL movie!!! 🎥 😱 😡

[@eiephants]

You are my favorite reviewer team since Siskel and Ebert!

[@starberrycupcake]

I heard that the Balloon Lady was supposed to be a part for a Julie Andrews cameo but she declined because she felt it would undermine Emily Blunt's performance if people were suddenly in front of the original Mary Poppins and thought "this is the real one". So they offered the part to Angela Lansbury which worked pretty well because a) she's Angela Lansbury and everything she does is amazing and b) Bedknobs & Broomsticks. Also, I found it a funny coincidence that there were like 3 Mamma Mia actors in this and coincidentally young Christine Baranski from Mamma Mia 2 (Jessica Keenan Wynn) is the great-granddaughter of Ed Wynn who played Uncle Albert in the first movie, the more you know.

[@omirosv]

MovieBitches: “We will talk about it!” MovieBitches: [when they finally talk about it] “What is this?? I don’t knoooow” 😂😂 I just love you guys

[@rynesanders9]

I could SWEAR that Katya Zamo gets referenced with the line "But you can call me Topsy". There's even lyric about tops and bottoms that comes right after.

[@melissapinkowski1196]

Surprised you two didn’t mention/clock the original Jane Banks’(Karen Dotrice) cameo! Avaryl is usually so good at clocking those obscure Easter eggs.

[@sequinsociety3703]

From a musical theatre prospective I think the movie is quite amazing! Art direction, music and casting I think is amazing. It’s fun, colorful and definitely captures the feeling of childlike imagination and wonder

[@starscharf5782]

Been waiting for you queens to review this

[@WerdnaNiraehs]

I draw the line at “Catherine O Hara is a better singer than Meryl Streep.” How dare you Avaryl, how DARE you.

[@jordonrweinhold]

Love this review. Thank you guys for doing what you do. Loads of fun watching. Yes, review The Great Mouse Detective

[@GreenGablesGirl1A]

Thank you for agreeing about Meryl Streep’s Turning Turtle song and Lin Manuel Miranda run on ending of Cover Is Not the Book. Both gave me motion sickness. Michael was not unemployed. He worked at the bank.

[@sophiaako7663]

If there's one thing pigeons don't do, it's pollute the ocean with microplastics and take millions of years to decompose.

[@DarkAngel459]

I'm a bit bored of Meryl Streep, so when I saw that she was in this, playing an eccentric cousin of Mary no less, I was completely put off from watching the film. Seeing that screenshot of Meryl has confirmed my opinion. I think I'll record it off the TV and forward her on.

[@BriFgr]

It wasnt young Michael Banks who drew on the back of the bank certificate. Ben Wishaw’s youngest idiot son found it at the beginning of the movie while he was bugging his dad. Then theres a shot a few scenes later (before the porcelan bowl) where the other 2 kids are arguing and the camera just focuses on the youngest boy coloring, and i remember thinking “oh thats totally the bank note, why doesnt anyone just look at his stupid picture?”

[@moomoopuppy5810]

I dont like sing-talking either...that and Poetry-Jam recitals where people just read their diaries all pissed-off and edgy.

[@JosePerez-bq1sp]

12:20 I thought what they were TRYING to say was that having a positive attitude and connecting to your inner child helps you solve problems more creatively

[@nateb1727]

I didn’t care for this movie. I agree, this movie was really boring. The music also was not that great.

[@babybearsteph]

“I got the black lung” 😂 Aw man this movie sounds bad...but I love your review!

[@cecelia996]

I though this movie was really sweet but when I left the theater all I could think about how much its going to suck when ww2 happens in 5 years and the house they fought for will probably be bombed in the Blitz :/ and yes Julie Walters character is meant to be the younger of the two old housekeepers from the first movie

[@mr.narrator6781]

I felt 100% gipped by the giraffe storyline. I also thought it was going to be where the stocks were hidden, with how important that damn toy was the entire first half of the movie. Then. Nothing.

[@sequinsociety3703]

But what about Meryl’s character played by the legendary Carol Burnett!?!?

[@dizzydemeter]

I need a Chicago retro review! PLEASE. 💁🏼‍♂️😘

[@mistressofthedark5353]

I was thinking when he was drawing his kids fake money in the beginning of the movie. That he was drawing fake money on the bank certificate (or whatever it is). But nope

[@MegaDdub69]

OMG, you seriously have to review or at least watch Girls Will Be Girls. It's one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. Sooo well done.

[@Jason_Ross]

Heartbreakers! Yas please

[@bloggerblogg5878]

The actor who plays Michael he was in the mini series A very British scandal, you should check out!

[@123sheldonfan]

Great mouse detective scared the crap out of me! Even now I can’t watch it! The bat is a devil bird!!