Master: the allegations against Neil Gaiman - Episode 1: The bath

Master: the allegations against Neil Gaiman - Episode 1: The bath | Full podcast

Рет қаралды 6,502

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 47

@lori6892 2 ай бұрын

When meeting the young care giver for your son, for the first time and at your invitation...within hours you walk naked in front of her and climb into her bath. Who does that?!! I don't know about in NZ, but in many places, just exposing yourself like this is criminal. I so hope it's not true.

@EmlynBoyle Ай бұрын

I'm a longtime NG fan...but if this is true, then it's put me off the man (whether I'm put off his work is another matter).

@rchristy5767 20 күн бұрын

Who stays after that? These were not little girls, and it didn’t happen in a third wold country were women are not protected by the law

@jolorna3654 2 ай бұрын

Sexual predators may well say that abuse is consensual but as soon as someone is brave enough to speak up, more victims of grooming and assault or abuse come forward. In this case, with this man, the pattern of several people coming forward has rapidly occurred. In this case, this man has engaged in numerous forms of boundary pushing or boundary crossing sexual behaviour with people over whom he has power. Sounds like textbook abuse. Looks like textbook abuse. It is abuse. And this man - Nail Gaiman - has pushed himself onto a young woman and sexually assaulted her while running a narrative in his mind that justifies his rapey actions. Penetrating someone without consent - guess what - with a finger it's still a CRIME. And her reactions and sense of bewilderment are typical of someone in a TRAUMA REACTION. Lock this violent rapist up. Plus. What time did the child get collected and looked after? What kind of Fd up lifestyle is this?

@luisaoc7378 2 ай бұрын

Amanda Palmer also sounds shady af

@mr.j8568 2 ай бұрын

She always has been.

@souxcasa 2 ай бұрын

Yeah, sounds like she was testing boundaries long before she invites her to stay with her husband. Swingers always recruit through the women, ones that care about consent are open about it but groomers pull sh!t like this. I had a friend I felt close to until I met his wife and started to feel like I was getting groomed to be with him. She would constantly make comments about us being together even after I told them it made me uncomfortable

@rigsby1454 27 күн бұрын

@@souxcasa Lots of stories about Palmer as well. A deeply weird couple

@candycigarette7202 11 күн бұрын

for real! without Amanda Palmer disregarding social norms, trampling on boundaries and sort of setting the stage for a very permissive, overertly intimate atmosphere, maybe Scarlett would have felt respected and hell, even HUMANISED enough to draw a line when NG then started preying on her. it may not have worked, ofc, but ig we, and more importanntly scarlett, will never know now! i was a fan of amanda's but this is sick- it really sounds like grooming, disguised as 'being bohemian/ free spirited'

@cyberpunkcentral8500 Ай бұрын

34:14 (shortly before) I’m sorry, but when “sex games” include choking, RUN. I was almost willing to accept his side of the story until I got to that part. Gross. And so dangerous. FFS don’t be afraid to say you don’t like or want this, and if you’re too afraid to, do what you must to get away safely, then go to the police. If it’s as innocent as the offender claims, why worry?

@mikaelaolsen8835 2 ай бұрын

This, the many women coming forward explains to me why I never liked Gaiman and his books. Personaluty shines through even when try to hide it. I abosulety doubt he is autistic. What he has in him which made him not fit it is a void that can never be filled.

@patriciaferraro4189 2 ай бұрын

I started this podcast ready to despise him, prepared to be triggered with every account. To my surprise, with the exception of the one who worked for him and lived in his property and the one who allegedly told him “no” when she had a UTI, by their own accounts, they went along with whatever he wanted, kept telling him that everything was amazing and didn’t express their discomfort so I’m confused as to how he was to read their minds and decide they were lying to keep him happy. It’s like going out with friends, knowing you already had enough to drink but going for another shot or two because you don’t want to be seem “unfun” and blaming your friends for your hangover next day. The first one sounds like she was made ashamed of her kinks by her friends and is desperate to fit it. The last one interrupted him during a phone call saying his question wasn’t “productive” - I really would love to hear her answers but it came across as she was trying to paint a picture that wouldn’t be quite as bad if she were to continue that dialogue. The fact that he was willing to listen to her and trying to put himself in her shoes, shocked me as did the fact that after so many years of allegedly needing closure she suddenly wanted to end the conversation. His behaviour didn’t strike me as that of a malicious person and my guess is that he had no clue he was being recorded, so he could be careful with his choice of words. She on the other hand was directing the conversation fully aware. By her own account, one he realized she wasn’t into him, stopped and stepped away. Same with that old friend of his. If anything I think this podcast taught me how much people are willing to do just to be around famous celebrities, maybe hoping their talent, fame and success will rub off on them. This reminds me so much of the Aziz Ansari case. Maybe NG has some non-conventional preferences but that is not a crime. So he isn’t a mind reader or an expert in body language, also not a crime. Women need to stop faking O’s and telling men they are “amazing” when they are not, because they end up believing it and go around thinking they are bedroom gods. If it’s bad, say so, if not for you, for the next woman who will have a very hard time convincing him that she isn’t frigid, he is just bad and was lied to! We needn’t be “nice” if it compromises our wellbeing. We should not be in charge of making everyone else happy at our own happiness’ expense. The only one that I believe really wasn’t in a position to decline his advances or express discomfort, was the one who acted as a property caretaker - maybe he didn’t consider the position he put her in and what an awful situation that created but still inexcusable. So many other thoughts that I could write a book but, overall, he seems flawed but not a monster intent on harming women

@pik910 2 ай бұрын

You do not need to be mind-reader to know that a girl 40 years younger than you does not want you to stick your finger up her butt and call you master. Especially if she is an unpaid employee. If you are unsure, asking helps. You do not employ a 20-year-old without family, make her dependent on you while withholding payments and then expose yourself to her, those things did not happen by accident. It is probably not the first time he has done it, and more girls will come forward. Victims behaving strangely is common, she has been groomed and is vulnerable to begin with. That is not what matters, her not giving consent does.

@deathismyown 2 ай бұрын

I'm surprised to find myself agreeing with you. Not to take away anything from the women who came forward: consent was dubious in all cases, and Neil kept failing to account for the glaring power imbalance. He also failed to follow BDSM protocol to guarantee not just consent, but safety, and establish the lines between reality and fantasy. However, all the loving messages and positive confirmations he kept getting throughout these events build a believable case that despite his (many) mistakes, he had a lot of reason to truly believe that all acts of intimacy were consensual. I see five women who genuinely, inarguably got hurt by an experience they never wanted and/or deeply regretted. As a rape survivor, I fully recognize that you freeze up, you try not to get hurt by playing along, and that it can take years to recognise what happened to you. I also recognize the instinct to step forward and try to protect other women from someone who caused you pain. So, I don't see any of them as malicious. I also don't think they're lying. What I do think is that we, as a society, don't know how to handle cases of dubious content. (I liked your example of Aziz, I kept thinking the same.) There's a version of events where Neil can be interpreted as a manipulative groomer, but it could only be established at court. What's more likely, and more complicated to face, is that he's just catastrophically bad at reading people--which is supported by his autism diagnosis. I think that by the later episodes, the podcast lost some of the nuance it has built, and started pushing a message of Neil as a mastermind, which is a characterisation that's not necessarily supported by the evidence we have at present. He's not safe to play with, because his spontaneity, assumptions, arrogance and carelessness get in the way of clear consent--but not malice or manipulation. (At least by episode 5, we don't have convincing evidence for this.) I'm dying to hear anything from Amanda, because it seems like consent is further blurred by the sexual plays of their relationship, and I find it reasonable that Amanda assumed these girls were open to being "set up" with Neil, and Neil reasonably assumed that girls "sent by" Amanda were ready to play. The podcast doesn't touch on this, but I think this complex play is a further reason why clear consent may have gotten tragically lost.

@passing4human598 Ай бұрын

You REALLY have no understanding of how coercive abuse or grooming works. Also, I haven't heard anyone use the word "frigid" since some point in the last century. Do you even accept that sexual assault can take place within an otherwise consensual relationship? I doubt it, judging by your comments. Thank God that even the legal system has moved on since whenever the hell it was you formed your opinions.

@cyberpunkcentral8500 Ай бұрын

To me, what this most illustrates, is what happens when we ignore our “inner voice” or gut feeling, b/c we’ve been conditioned, for so long, as women, to always be accommodating and pleasing, “nice girls” who don’t make waves or cause trouble; obedient “young ladies” who won’t ever “make a scene” or hurt anybody’s feelings…as if *our* true feelings must always be secondary, or suppressed, if there’s a small chance they might offend someone. There’s also the fact that many, many women “play along” in these types of scenarios, either out of fear that if they don’t, it will make the experience even more painful and worse for themselves, or b/c they want the unwelcome act to simply hurry up and be over with. Additionally, there’s the brainwashing many are susceptible to by our omnipresent Celebrity Culture and this capitalist, striated, pyramid-ranked society that implies the affection of a rich, famous person is the ultimate sign of desirability, and an achievement in and of itself. This, ⬆️, when famous people can obviously be big b*stards, just like anyone else. Sometimes there can be a fine line between a disgruntled, spurned partner and a victim, but likewise there’s plenty of evidence that the natural physical/societal power imbalance between men and women, rich and poor, experienced and inexperienced, “dom” and “sub,” creates circumstances where someone can *easily* be abused and taken advantage of, even if “consent” seems apparent and/or enthusiastically given. This Gaiman situation is a total mess, and all I can say is I will continue to emphasize to my daughters, sisters, and friends that “no means no,” not to ever be afraid to speak up in any situation that makes you uncomfortable or that you aren’t ok with, and that *your feelings matter* and you are **worthy** of consideration and respect. It pains me that there are things I can relate to in these women’s stories, b/c I, too, didn’t trust myself or feel worthy of respect, and was too concerned with another person’s feelings, instead of my own, to speak my truth.

@passing4human598 Ай бұрын

@@cyberpunkcentral8500 You make so many good points. Men like him know what they are doing, and I'd go as far as suggesting that Gaiman has a far better understanding of the issues around conditioning you speak about than he'd ever admit to. It's no coincidence that he selected mostly young, and/or emotionally damaged women to prey on.

@rchristy5767 20 күн бұрын

No it’s no and if you don’t say it and keep coming back and flirting why complain now. I understand thinking back and being regretful at your past choices but if you said yes and then came back for more they were just making bad choices not being predators

@kamivenus753 Ай бұрын

This first episode was a roller coaster. I was so confused . She is describing it like she was simply seduced but enjoyed it but the more I listened, he is a devent and predator and groomed this girl that didnt have the awareness to understand she is being abused . Absolutely disgusting

@HouseOod 2 ай бұрын

This playlist should be ordered by Date Published (Newest) by the creator of the playlist so when we save the playlist and play it on Repeat (I fall asleep), it plays in order.

@ellie698 2 ай бұрын

Yes exactly. Instead they're backwards

@ellie698 2 ай бұрын

This is why it's just easier to not have any relationship at all and stay celibate

@kamivenus753 Ай бұрын

Right??? It's safer at home alone 😂

@ellie698 Ай бұрын

@@kamivenus753 You don't have to do that though do you. You can be gregarious and social. And single. It's not hard. It's evident from social trends that fewer of the Gen z generation are having settled, monogamous relationships. Fewer are getting married and raising children, hence the declining birth rate in the West. So, they clearly are tending to agree that it's easier not to bother with relationships 🤷🏻‍♀️

@kamivenus753 Ай бұрын

@ellie698 the same way you don't have to be celibate , you can be sexually active and date and still be single. Many people are doing it.

@Elayzee Ай бұрын

Are we just gonna ignore that this Scarlett woman is a major liar and cannot keep her story straight? I'm NOT saying Neil Gaiman is innocent, but this "victim" keeps saying one thing and texting something else.

@pamypando Ай бұрын

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

@katzolitamason6729 2 ай бұрын

This is a brilliant, well thought out channel and highlights what has happened for so many women -including myself. Thanks for talking about it. This is a very real issue for so many women. I can never have another relationship with a man again after what happened to me.

@MarianaBandarra 5 күн бұрын

Well this is not a straightforward sexual assault allegation at all. I remember following Amanda Palmer's stories and IG lives from around this time when Neil had just left NZ and she was devastated and angry. I can now see why. I don't think for a second Amanda had any idea this might happen to the nanny and frankly I'm shocked at the casual air with which she's presumed to have known all along who Neil was. So sorry this happened to Scarlett, hoping she has access to the resources and space to heal from this trauma and come stronger on the other side of it.

@75YBA 2 ай бұрын

Expose them all.

@gruenlilie007 Ай бұрын

I am really sad, shocked and somewhat appalled because I like Neil Gaiman's works and I had hoped that there was absolutely no substance to the allegations. Naturally, it is still dubious whose account of the event is closer to the truth or if there might have been misunderstandings since there were mixed messages. However, it seems fairly clear that his conduct towards his young, inexperienced employee was improper and exploitive. I personally believe you should err on the side of caution and refuse to have romantic/sexual relationships with people who strongly depend on your benevolence (e.g. teacher - student / boss - employee with hardly any life experience and few other employment options / au-pair - guest family). Also, I think it is even less ideal to practice BDSM on/with someone who actually depends this much on you in real life. However, sometimes life and love go strange ways, and people end up in a very assymetrical relationship, and I am trying not to judge this too much. What I am judging a lot though, is that with such an obvious imbalance of power and experience, you should be extra careful to confirm consent and not to push your ideas on the less experienced/dependent/vulnerable person and you have to make sure there is an easy way for them to leave the relationship (In this case that might have included paying her enough so that she could theoretically leave and get by for a few weeks, providing housing that is not immedeatly accessible to the employer/romantic partner or helping her find other families she could nanny for during times her services where not needed at this house, so that her financial dependence would decrease). So while there is currently no evidence whether he knew that she experienced their encounters as nonconsensual or not, it appears he was at the very least careless and inconsiderate since any moderately intelligent person should have been able to deduct that she might have felt pressured to please him.

@jonquiloconnor987 2 ай бұрын

Keep telling your truths! ❤️

@amaya3107 Ай бұрын

Scarlett is also at fault. Wth, i highly doubt shes that desperate to be part of a 'family'

@frederickjohnsen4246 Ай бұрын

Welcome to the kafkaesque world of accusing men of sexual assault. Saying something is non-consensual makes him guilty and saying something was consensual also makes him guilty.

@LianaBuzea 2 ай бұрын

I am super happy to see these here! Thank you! I will dive into them. This topic interests me for my work especially!

@deadman746 2 ай бұрын

Thank you for breaking this story and also for posting on KZbin. I am technologically impaired at the moment, so this is helpful. Gaiman's predatory behavior has been known for decades, and he has been banned from a number of venues for it, but the copium is weapons-grade.