This is an excerpt from a talk Alain de Botton gave at Zeitgeist Minds in May 2017.
Пікірлер: 118
@preetymoney5 жыл бұрын
I’ve been binging this man all day
@rockradstone4 жыл бұрын
Ooooh, that sounds sexy! I haven't been binged in a couple weeks. ; )
@FunnieSnoopy4 жыл бұрын
Same. Day 2 now actually
@adinashaina99773 жыл бұрын
Enlightening, isn't he?
@irishelk34 жыл бұрын
I love listening to this guy, i think he's one of the most important men of our time, i don't agree with everything he says, but i think he's great, a breath of fresh air.
@thatalex210 ай бұрын
I’m p
@thatalex210 ай бұрын
Pp
@thatalex210 ай бұрын
I’m
@thatalex210 ай бұрын
P
@joannegild8001 Жыл бұрын
It took me til age 82 and my third love partner to learn to take the risk of making myself vulnerable. It’s never too late. I am a widow and I am in love again, and fulfilled and happy.
@winiewirth5397 Жыл бұрын
So happy for you!
@MrBox999box7 жыл бұрын
i love listening to alain. he speaks very fluently and clearly.
@CellGames20065 жыл бұрын
He's like Donald Trump, expect with a better vocabulary and more screaming.
@jaynegrant31335 жыл бұрын
Alain... music to my ears, wisdom for my soul.
@brad94007 жыл бұрын
Such great advice, very wise words. Thank you Alain.
@whightspace4 жыл бұрын
I just love how this guy has solutions to all major problems in our lives.
@mvnorsel6354 Жыл бұрын
Doesn't help when the rent is due.😅
@peijuechen Жыл бұрын
“Make us to suffer in the way we feel familiar. “ well said.
@ntwaha7324 жыл бұрын
That quote at the end gives me freakin life! I can't describe it, the way he says it is just soooo amazing!
@wanderingsoul11894 жыл бұрын
Is this dude a human, or some primordial god of psychology and philosophy?
@rainbowgirljules Жыл бұрын
All three. ;)
@wanderingsoul1189 Жыл бұрын
yeah, seems like.
@paulharris30007 жыл бұрын
We invent the things we love...it is all very cinematic. The big problems emerge when the love object does not follow the script we have unknowingly written for them. And the most difficult thing to accept is that the LO is not required to be our invention - in any of its particulars.
@Mary-cz4gg6 жыл бұрын
Paul Harris Yes, Paul Harris.
@lynnebarnes56454 жыл бұрын
Yes, we need to be responsible for our own happiness and look at ourselves and ask "What do I bring to the table?" When considering embarking on a relationship.
@nicnahar62736 жыл бұрын
A voice of raw fucking compassion, ladies and gentlemen, Alain de Botton.
@heybhabe5 жыл бұрын
Yesss so much better than school of life even though it’s the same person HOW we say things make such a difference
@tlc9382 жыл бұрын
By far the best podcast I’ve listen to this year🔌
@HarryUrazman7 жыл бұрын
Jesus fucking Christ. Currently I'm at 3rd minute of this. And I have a feeling that during that time I picked up more for my inner self than during the rest of day. Dayayayayayayaym.
@louiseroman11457 жыл бұрын
I've read and enjoyed several of de Botton's books. Good times. He does a great job here as well. Enlightening.
@AlysiasArtStudio7 жыл бұрын
This is gold!!! So incredibly inspired!
@peijuechen Жыл бұрын
Yes, “Love is a skill “! Recognition of ambivalent.
@ButtercupMaude7 жыл бұрын
This man is a genius.
@MC-mk9bp6 жыл бұрын
ButtercupMaude Ikr
@shawnellemartineaux62127 жыл бұрын
This is perfect.
@AliceDepaul7 жыл бұрын
Great talk, I also think it takes a certain age to realize it too... I'm 26 and now I realize most men I was falling for were the same type that strangely felt "familiar " and they all turned out to be truly awful people...
@PriyankaGupta-ew1li3 жыл бұрын
True!😒 But I'm glad I understood the pattern and fixed the shit outa myself 😂👌🏻
@drshohinidas40513 жыл бұрын
Absolutely
@MsGaella2 жыл бұрын
Brilliant. Thank you so much.
@Veronica-yn2zu7 жыл бұрын
Best speech ever!
@lilyjane10112 жыл бұрын
I will sleep better tonight. Thanks you!
@thisgospel2 жыл бұрын
Have listen to the video of this audio, this man is inspiring
@velgregory7 жыл бұрын
I LOVED THIS !
@derek5168 Жыл бұрын
Who can't relate to this your shaped by your past experiences making it harder to express yourself and say what you need to say
@techibabe7 жыл бұрын
love these insights, thank yoi
@PaperMario647 жыл бұрын
Is this The School of Life guy?
@tai78747 жыл бұрын
Paper Mario yup
@shaynawilson86265 жыл бұрын
Alain de Botton
@caraceleste69047 жыл бұрын
it is a skill
@paulharris30006 жыл бұрын
A big difference between friend and lover is that the friend is more of an adult, the lover is a parent and a child by turns, and it is sex that unlocks both parent and child...
@vvelvettearss6 жыл бұрын
Paul Harris holy cow Paul Harris that's amazing how you summed that up so simply. imo I do think Alain simplifies it a little too much but this is relevant for my situation right now. in my first serious relationship age 28. 2 years older than him but he seems to be at times a very grounded logically thinking person making me feel unintentionally like the mess or child and emotionally parents me a bit very gently (the adult) which both offends and attracts me at the same time :P my past self would have called hum boring and moved on quickly yet on the other hand I would say he hasn't figured out to not be affected badly by people and situations. I've learned to be very chilled and try to just listen, let him know it's ok to not know everything and give him a better social perspective (the child) but with the sex none of those sides matter and it's just pure attraction and it's beautiful ^^ also throw into the mix that he's naturally a lot more driven and focused about what to do in life . he can't change me but he does inspire me =]
@Lucilup5 жыл бұрын
Thank you
@carlaandersen60282 жыл бұрын
Love this!
@lizgichora64727 жыл бұрын
Interesting! Thank you.
@user-ec8js3nc1p7 жыл бұрын
Love this
@TheTalkWatcher7 жыл бұрын
Overthinking exists. One can over analyze a situation. In fact over thinking and neurosis go hand in hand. This is largely the legacy of Aristotle and has led to much suffering in the Western World.
@tai78747 жыл бұрын
explain how a neural disease causing numbness and tingling is linked with over analyzing
@TheTalkWatcher7 жыл бұрын
Typo I meant to say neurosis and neuroticism.
@aprilthomas14897 жыл бұрын
I followed my heart, found someone who makes me happy, loving them came naturally and visa versa. He is not perfectly perfect nor am I but we both are aware that no one is so that is no problem. We have never had a falling out in our 10 years. Working pretty well for us. Oh and we both take "criticism" from each other very well because we both know that it is coming from a desire to help. I don't understand why these things are so hard for people to understand. I all just seems so obvious.
@bellelagirl7 жыл бұрын
What you want a cookie?
@AdamWoodhams7 жыл бұрын
You're essentially saying that you can do it so why can't anybody else? This is not a particularly nice or helpful statement.
@conniemartinez31737 жыл бұрын
I'm guessing you had a good upbringing, which is like being wealthy without realizing it. Everyone is still working out their childhoods with their s.o. To be blind to the fact that others had unfortunate upbringings is oblivious indeed.
@blustreke7 жыл бұрын
Wow...no need to be nasty...this is her perspective. The approach to her relationship reflects a level of emotional maturity that we all might want to work towards. Since when is that not a virtue? Take the good from what was said and move on. People who did not have a good upbringing aren't excused from trying to be better.
@dudanunesbleff7 жыл бұрын
April Thomas, because you are fortunate, and are not aware of it. Sadly unaware of the good upbringing you had, the abuse you didn't suffer, the good fortune you had finding that person. Be grateful, because you didn't discover dinamite: you had "good karma". Many people do, most people don't. Also, the fact you don't get other people may get you some day.
@redrumhughes89325 жыл бұрын
Genius.
@thaais087 жыл бұрын
Brilliant!
@adinashaina99773 жыл бұрын
Full of laughs. Life is regrettable, but enjoy the journey.
@clairmoreau25536 жыл бұрын
At 7:56- I laughed so freaking hard!!!!!!!
@Maldonin6 жыл бұрын
The entire talk is available on KZbin and it's only 6 mins longer than the one here - but with visuals. I don't understand what the benefit of snipping those few minutes was? The original: kzbin.info/www/bejne/enS2Z6dsg7p0fbM
@SaraDecember7 жыл бұрын
Yes!!!!
@AndromedaChace5 жыл бұрын
Go figure: you have to communicate and both partners must participate and be willing to grow for the other Shocker: everyone has baggage, nobody is perfect, and relationships aren't easy.
@thinkmackay89547 жыл бұрын
Do not attach to some with very opposite political philosophy. Misery will ensure that it is on its way to you.
@phillipmcsorley78405 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing your own problems.
@lorrainejacksmum8753 Жыл бұрын
Imo - 'romantic love' is a series of intermingled transactions verbal/physical where feelings/senses from person A to person B (and vice versa) project on to each other how they want to really feel about themselves, not only verbalised but manifested in the other person. We are not taught (prob by religion) to self love or put ourselves first, nor to actual like oneself. Plus if we do, definitely not to voice that position. To do so is viewed by society as narcissisic, selfish, arrogant. 'Love' on the romantic level imo doesn't exist as a standalone feeling. The two people within the relationship unknowingly use (both emotionally and physically) each other to reflect, not romantic love, but self love back onto themselves, its a mutual exchange. Sometimes the exchange is unbalanced, esp where person A or B needs more self love to feed on. More than the other is capable of giving (without knowing the actual transaction they have entered into). When the exchange ceases to fulfil the self love aspect, in either person or their ego, the contract becomes one-sided and untenable. Resulting usually in one person leaving/having an affair (they might seek A N other to feed the still empty void, partially filled by their last partner, but not fully) or they both decided its not for them. In an ideal world the start point wold be; ea would love/like themselves equally, and the exchange from their partner would be complementary to that already acquired position
@ZukunftBilden7 жыл бұрын
How do you make these kind of animations with your audio?
@asmaaom Жыл бұрын
How does that apply to abusive/toxic relationships? Does that mean we have to stay in abusive relationships and not work on finding someone who's more healthy for us?
@lorenzowong1980 Жыл бұрын
I think abuse is something you shouldn't tolerate.
@gillymac93636 жыл бұрын
8:16 So I'll never find someone who just KNOWS the difference between "take me" & "take the bin out" eyes? 😕Raaaaats✌🏻😏
@royalbuff1232 жыл бұрын
So if we can't change our types why bother thinking and reasoning about emotions? If we can't change our types, which is determined by our early experiences of love, then we are using our instincts. So where then sits the advice to watch out for red flags?
@Architecture_and_visualization4 жыл бұрын
🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
@marcymurrell6886 жыл бұрын
What are types? I don't understand when he says "we can not change our type..." because I have changed my "type" I believe.
@ailecdreifuss86276 жыл бұрын
I believe he explained that we developed our "types of partners" that we tend to fell in love with, from the attachment we developed with our parents. He explained with the "distant parent and distant partner" example.
@pamelaw5555 жыл бұрын
Types of attachment, I believe. Anxious, Avoidant, or Secure
@dirtypowerstudios48227 жыл бұрын
What if your type = Aquarius male?
@LeandroVelez76 жыл бұрын
Dirty Power Studios ha. You're screwed.
@LesG9856 жыл бұрын
Dirty Power Studios married one. Yes, you're screwed. We're still married (I'm an Aries female) and it's bloody hard work.
@shawnburnham1 Жыл бұрын
4:00
@clifb.35215 жыл бұрын
I think that when someone tells us something about us they are also speaking about themselves on some level. Also depending on Dharma different types needs diff things. Being an educator is enjoy this educator view, however warriors, merchants, laborers and outsiders may need to be handled in a diff manner yo
@adinashaina9977 Жыл бұрын
but who is he? does he have a degree in the field? what are his qualifications? or is he a comedy side show?
@temitope68303 жыл бұрын
What software was this done on
@adinashaina9977 Жыл бұрын
12:25
@JadenJahci5 жыл бұрын
13:01 to 13:04
@klattalexis4 жыл бұрын
"Familiarity breeds contempt" Why not just say what you want & what you are willing to give. (Write up a contract)
@-._.-KRiS-._.-7 жыл бұрын
Well that certainly didn't help me with deciding between two guys, one who checks off all the similar interests compatibility boxes and the other who checks off all the sexual compatibility boxes.
@nonamefilmmaker41997 жыл бұрын
fuck one, hang out with the other.
@mashallahlekule7 жыл бұрын
Kris Van Pelt Sis go with the one who you have similar interests and compatible,you can work on the sexual part together with time thing will be great
@JediNiyte7 жыл бұрын
Read "Sex at Dawn", by Christopher Ryan.
@camilliadelagarza45817 жыл бұрын
I don't know you, so advice is cheap, but, I would say: Integrate within yourself :) Chemistry can't develop, is my experience working with couples and trying it myself. But working out our own hang ups can be a surprisingly effective aphrodisiac. All my best for your quest.
@AdamWoodhams7 жыл бұрын
There is no perfect choice. Sadly (but happily) you make a choice, and then make the best of it. Compatibility is a skill developed between two mature people, not something inherent.
@marklewis47935 жыл бұрын
..?..now,you tell me!?
@importantname7 жыл бұрын
humans hate each other? how did we ever get to have billions of us?
@jacksonscully92607 жыл бұрын
David Boson ever hear of sex
@yem-swagza.k.aswagnificien10984 жыл бұрын
Procreation*
@pixelnetwork14323 жыл бұрын
This is Stewie Griffin in 2021
@annakangombe46822 жыл бұрын
0
@amberts1807 жыл бұрын
Well that's too bad :(
@GurpreetKaur-oy2rc3 жыл бұрын
should u compromise with someone who is violent towards u??
@inveele2 жыл бұрын
No!
@gracerongli39292 жыл бұрын
His teaching is contradicting himself all the time