Evolutionary Psychologist Shares How Women Select Men

Watch the full episode here - • Evolution, Sex & Desir...
Dr. David Buss and I discuss his groundbreaking work in evolutionary psychology. Our conversation forays into human mating practices & strategies, female preferences, dominance hierarchies, (fe)male aggression, emotional regulation & status, the dark triad (narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy), inherent inequality, and much more.
// SUPPORT THIS CHANNEL //
Newsletter: linktr.ee/DrJordanBPeterson
Donations: jordanbpeterson.com/donate
// COURSES //
Discovering Personality: jordanbpeterson.com/personality
Self Authoring Suite: selfauthoring.com
Understand Myself (personality test): understandmyself.com
// BOOKS //
Beyond Order: 12 More Rules for Life: jordanbpeterson.com/Beyond-Order
12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos: jordanbpeterson.com/12-rules-...
Maps of Meaning: The Architecture of Belief: jordanbpeterson.com/maps-of-m...
// LINKS //
Website: jordanbpeterson.com
Events: jordanbpeterson.com/events
Blog: jordanbpeterson.com/blog
Podcast: jordanbpeterson.com/podcast
// SOCIAL //
Twitter: / jordanbpeterson
Instagram: / jordan.b.peterson
Facebook: / drjordanpeterson

[@JezaLoki]

Here’s a bit on mate selection: There is a building where women can go in and select a husband. The rules are that you are allowed to go in and select a husband and leave, go up floors but you are not allowed to go back down floors. A woman goes in and finds the men on the first floor have jobs. She decides to see what the second floor has. She goes up and finds the men on the second floor have jobs and are quite handsome. She goes to the third floor, there the men have jobs, are handsome and love kids. Things are getting better so she proceeds to the 4th floor. The men there have high income jobs, are very handsome, love kids and are quite the romantic. Well, golly! I have to see what the 5th floor has, she says and heads on up. The fifth floor is empty with only a sign that reads “there are no men here, this floor proves that women are never satisfied, please take the lift to the ground floor and exit the building.” Across the road is a building where men can go and select a wife. Same rules apply. First floor has women who are quite pretty. Second floor has women who are quite pretty and love sex. Floors three, four and five have never been visited.

[@MushroomKingdom722]

Lol genius

[@sandwich-breath]

Comment of the day

[@Thenakedfinisher]

😂🤣🤣😂

[@julianpischler9378]

The joke has a point but if you read it properly you'll realise it's worded asymmetrically to favour guys yet ends up making us look equally bad in comparison. It breaks down into 'women want financial security and additional benefits' vs 'men want physical attractiveness and additional benefits'. Women start on the first floor with 'men with jobs' ie: the baseline acceptable category for women on the financial security scale. But the men start out on the first floor with women that are 'quite pretty' who are by definition at least 2 steps above average given that 'pretty' would probably be one step higher than average and 'quite' would be a step up again. So the joke's actual message is that women will always go for the better available guy yet will potentially settle for average because it's still within their building, whereas men don't let average women into their building which means our broad standards for what is acceptable in what we value is actually higher than women. So both sexes look either equally shit or equally understandable in that example. Putting that aside, it's also ridiculous to assume we wouldn't also escalate. If the first floor was quite pretty, the 2nd was quite pretty who love sex, the 3rd was Scarlett Johansson who loves sex and the 4th was prime Salma Hayek who wants to have sex 3 times a day, then you can bet your savings that I'd be exiting on the 5th floor for being so stupid as to think it was gonna get better than the 4th floor. And if you adjust the women I named to your own taste I'm pretty sure many guys would fail on the 5th floor just like the women did; our escalation would most probably be something equally dumb and unrealistic like hoping that there's a threesome up there with Aphrodite and her clone. If you present anyone with a test that shows improvement and doesn't reveal there's a risk I'm pretty sure most people would fail. This isn't a pro-feminist argument, I just think stupidity is genderless and most of us are moronic animals subject to base urges.

[@ZIbroweed]

Naw my Dog. If on the second floor there wasn't a single woman who would challenge me and make me see things differently I'd head on up and if the 3rd floor was our exit I'd be ok with that. Better to do something worthwhile alone than be stuck with a vapid sex fiend. Then again, I'm part of a significant minority who's not interested in unattached sex, so I'd be applying partner level standards.

[@bluemystic7501]

In a women's studies class that I took back in college, I remember the day when the TA brought up the 'double standard' when it came to sex. The double standard stated that if men and women both slept with lots of partners, that meant that the men were pimps and the women were sluts. I remember pointing out that 'its easy for women to sleep with lots of men, where it takes skill for a man to bed a lot of women'. The TA absolutely exploded that day. It was priceless.

[@Sumonekool01]

A key that can open a lot of locks is a master key. A lock that is opened by a lot of keys is a shitty lock.

[@stevenredpath9332]

Social conditioning doesn’t make it easier for women to have sex with multiple people and the reverse is true of men. That males are prepared to lie about having sex just to gain status amongst their peer group and females are expected to “protect their reputation” is just one example of the differences between them. The failure to properly teach the importance of consent in sex, the most important aspect of sex, is only too obvious in too many places.

[@stevenredpath9332]

@@Sumonekool01 are males shitty locks?

[@SheepWaveMeByeBye]

@@stevenredpath9332 Who have ever given you respect for fucking some gross slag? Where I'm from guys try to hide it if they as much as kissed an ugly woman. I honestly think your ideas aren't your own and not based on your own experiences.

[@zekun4741]

Another thing to consider about the double standard is that it's largely caused by attitudes to mate selection. Men don't want to have a long term relationship with a promiscuous woman because they suspect (accurately) that they are more likely to lose her. Whereas most women are okay with forming a long term relationship with a promiscuous man. They might complain about the double standard, but when it comes down to choosing a mate, it's not much of a factor. Even religious women who are determined to stay virgins until marriage admit that they don't really expect their future husband to also be a virgin until marriage, if anything, they want him to not be, because it shows that he's desired by other women and is able to score. So the double standard is caused by women's choices.

[@jeffpittman8725]

Men need to understand their value. This value is extremely important. Being well developed mentally and respecting your body and abilities will help you filter out the BS with modern women. Not every woman is a prize.

[@GlossaME]

Exactly. The title is so demeaning to men

[@michaelzero5278]

Underrated comment

[@discussingwithyouisfutile1703]

So true

[@lorenavilla6703]

I'm a woman, and I agree. As a conservative Christian, guys of all walks of life try to match with me on dating apps. Some have confirmed they don't see gals like me there

[@AndresLopez-bz7bs]

@@lorenavilla6703 christians girls are the worst

[@lynnkowalla1315]

As a woman (married 44 yrs) I found my husband attractive and desirable because he made me feel safe. But there is alot that goes into that. I was raised on rabid feminism. It took years to unravel what was like cult brainwashing and accept my true feelings on romance and men. When my husband made me feel safe it made me strong. Also I think both sexes have to realize that when married neither are mature. Committed marriage is the best path to maturity.

[@Traumatised311]

Omg describes my babe Not only is he gentleman and respectful But he can b dangerous to d outside world He's khilji ( conquerer ) in my heart He's younger than my so i can't ever marry him

[@stringbender3]

Like finding a new dada

[@lynnkowalla1315]

@@stringbender3 more like "together we can get through anything "

[@stringbender3]

And for men like finding a new mother. Respect husband like you respect your father and respect wife like you respect your mother

[@stringbender3]

@@lynnkowalla1315 true

[@leonslaw5722]

Lmao, a man's expectations on intellectual capacity. "If they can mumble a little bit, that's fine". That got me.

[@valor9996]

Got me choking on the water I was drinking lmao

[@number1nick123]

It was quite amusing! Since males are visually stimulated we aren't exactly looking for high intelligence when it comes to a purely sexual standpoint.

[@jonolas1626]

It really do be like that XD

[@duckyorwell9416]

Me too, so I won't post it, but I will add, it is mostly the case however, I love to piss off girls who think they are hot shit and all guys want to be with her even tho the arrogance the lady has.. I am of the type that when you are super pretty but either dumb or clumsy with your body language, then I know you do not know yourself and that's a HUGE turn off for me, while most men just want that P. It's silly how low the standards of most men are.

[@shanialee7361]

@@number1nick123 I think that plays into the objectification theory since men don't view women as humans rather than objects, s£xual objects to be specific. I guess this is why they wouldn't have any standard outside of physical, and this isn't just on a s£xual level because we have seen successful men having no problem with marrying a really dummb woman just as long as she is pretty.

[@mosaic12345]

I’m an old man now, but when I was young I was always told to be nice to women - to go above and beyond to make them feel valued, cared for, and appreciated. All that brought was a lot of heartbreak. I eventually got married to an “adult infant” (as Jordan would refer to her) and ended up losing about $300k and equal access to my son in the process. I was and continue to be terribly abused, but that doesn’t matter because I’m a man. The lesson learned? Don’t ever be a “nice guy”. Instead, be kind and always focus on becoming the best version of yourself while being considerate of others’ needs (I.e., don’t place the needs of others above your own). Never, ever chase women. Chase your dreams and women will naturally come to you because of your confidence and success. Then the trick becomes how to screen out those who want you for the wrong reasons (and that will be most of them). For you younger guys, once you understand that you have little-to-no inherent value as a man, and that what really matters instead is what you provide, life will make much more sense to you

[@aidanmccarthy5441]

Sorry to hear that my guy, appreciated your comment🙏

[@bigga87]

Thanks you for your wisdom!

[@tesfayet11]

great comment.

[@stevephillips3541]

Yep , I was Lied to about how to treat women to date and get sex , what they like and actually what they want . After watching two years of men's channels I now finally understand them . I surer wish I knew this years ago

[@aidanmccarthy5441]

@@stevephillips3541 can you breakdown what you've learned into a paragraph? I'd appreciate that alot

[@kadyq9626]

I'm a woman and I've always been attracted to men who didn't have 'game'. I always thought that I needed to make a good living so that if I was with a man, I'd be with him for what kind of a person he was, not for what he could give me financially - I'm not for sale. I wasn't looking for 'rich' - accomplishment comes in many forms and those that are the most accomplished are not necessarily affluent. What I found strange was that the best looking, successful men seemed to be the most insecure. Basically these men weren't looking for someone who was accomplished, they just wanted what I call a 'nick-nack'. In all honesty, I was looking for good company, mutual admiration, someone capable of a deep connection. I was luck enough to find that man we've been together for a number of years. That said, I don't think that making a fool out of yourself over the opposite sex or falling for the wrong person is the province of any particular gender. Men eventually learn that looks aren't everything and women eventually learn that bullies aren't really strong men. I do not blame all men for the sins of a few, I would hope men would have enough sense to do the same.

[@sriharshacv7760]

Good to know that you have practical expectations. When speaking for the larger society, it boils down to access. In particular, to avenues in which men find women. Online dating scene is a joke due to the inherent bias that leads to women filtering out someone at their level and aiming straight for the 1%. The 'village' scene where everyone knows each other was productive, but it no longer exists now. Basically, this is an unsolved problem at the moment.

[@kingb3746]

Love this ^

[@aimforthemiddleeq]

Agree! When a woman is confident in her own abilities, herself worth, & cab be self sufficient and confident in herself - She is no longer bound by these lower evolutionary tendencies to finding mate who can support & protect her. This enables her to look for compatibility, mutual emotional support, partnership, & romance. Those who are looking for financial support and physical protection are those that set themselves up for a transactional relationship, and honestly are putting themselves in a position to be trapped In a possibly toxic relationship later because they have no confidence or means to be on their own. I understand many women would like to be home with their children still, as I did, but these views of toxic masculinity foster an imbalance of power in relationships which ultimately cause them to fail or be perpetually miserable.

[@Gothicc_senpai]

@@aimforthemiddleeq both sounds toxic, for most women today just chase good looks. not many actually want compatibility

[@DemoHasan]

"Women will learn bullies aren't strong men" Hmm very interesting why would u say something like that? To me it seems like women find bullying attractive "I do not blame all men for the sins of few" Let me ask u this who do u think created these men? Also Women don't grow out anything they just know that after some time they can no longer attract the men they wanted It also due to the fact that women during their non fertile period look for kind timid men this is because they want resources and security after securing good genes

[@MindLifeFlow]

As a clinical psychologist, I appreciate the valuable insights shared in this video. The discussion on sexual selection theory highlights that women tend to be choosier than men in selecting sexual partners, especially in casual encounters. This selectivity is linked to qualities associated with mating success. Moreover, women prioritize intelligence in both short-term and long-term partners, while men exhibit a greater desire for sexual variety. These findings shed light on the complexities of human attraction and provide a foundation for further exploration. Thank you, Dr. Peterson and Dr Buss, for your insightful analysis.

[@LoveOneAnotherHeSaid]

SHE seeks a Father for her children who is worth a shit long haul. What's the fucking mystery?

[@Smile71717]

10 years ago this was regular knowledge, common sense. Today it's an intellectual insight. Great...

[@calebland6246]

We had a strong case of blank slate-ism which made a lot of people forget or lie to themselves about the fact that we are not all the same.

[@AlexKomnenos]

This is an example of a strong case made in favor of traditionalism. When you come to a fence before you tear it down you must first pause and figure out why it was put there in the first place.

[@Aklemvaeo]

Ten years ago, I never recall anyone acknowledging this. If they did, it was social taboo.

[@DannySullivanMusic]

yep. precisely right!

[@Earthad23]

I think this debate has been raging for generations, some people don’t like a cold objective analysis of human behavior. This blank slate idea has been pushed for the sake of sparring peoples feelings, they seem to forget life is hard and it’s not fair. They want it to be fair and full of gum drops and fairies.

[@poopingwhilestanding5801]

Schrödinger's feminism: a woman is simultaneously a victim and empowered, until something happens. Then she chooses which state benefits her the most...

[@challengerbrant]

Precisely.

[@Aaron.Reichert]

Well put

[@joanna0988]

Well that just sounds smart to me 🤣

[@crystalh4875]

likes comment...then notices the name of poster, lol what lol

[@johng69er]

This is a perfect summation

[@tim71pos]

Many moons ago I lived in Cambridge MA working as a waiter. It was impossible to get a date and some women seemed offended that I even asked. I applied to MIT grad school and got in. From that moment on it was exceedingly easy to get dates, even though my income level as a waiter was higher (in grad school loans gave me negative equity).

[@redroger3637]

Were you asking the customers for dates?

[@tim71pos]

@@redroger3637 and those days I asked any woman on two legs for a date

[@kjames5682]

Sorry to hear that. Although it's possible that they picked up on your confidence soaring. Or you met people more aligned with your true interests. Is there still a stereotype that male waiters are not heterosexual?

[@alysabaraniuk2686]

@@tim71pos That was your first mistake. A lot of women want to feel like you have a reason to pursue them other than their looks, based on an instant feeling. Most women don't want an instant hook up and when men treat them like prey the costs to mating is too high and they reject. They also like to feel drawn to you first as well. When a person randomly comes up to and wants to date you it can be offputting. Like he said, women are choosier than men and our mating costs are higher. Glad you're having an easier time asking people out now but maybe you've matured and grown. But the reasons you might want to date someone vs the woman you're in pursuit of's reasons are could be totally opposite, not because of how much money is in your bank account.

[@shawnl1155]

I think there's a big difference between what a woman answers to an interviewer, and how she actually acts.

[@jamescostello2257]

I think they want to want what they say they want. They want to be judged well, and they adjust their responses based on that. But I think they also answer not only based on their expectation of what would make the interviewer view her most favorably, but how she would like to view herself. I think they’re often less dishonest with interlocutors than they are with themselves.

[@DW-10]

@@jamescostello2257 I think you could easily apply that analysis to humanity in general regardless of gender.

[@cortransport]

Definitely. Women can go to the grave and never revealed alot of personal stuff.

[@joasok3642]

Yeah because she lies to you lol

[@jamescox4537]

That for sure

[@alexanderlyon]

My old roommate very likely had a genius-level IQ. He was an intelligent conversationalist, quick-witted, and his future was bright. He had a crush on this waitress. She was attractive and super nice to my friend, always happy to see him when he stopped by the restaurant. However, she did _not_ come across as intelligent in the slightest. He planned to ask her out and we asked him, "But do you think she's smart enough for you?" He thought about it and said, "I think I'm smart enough for both of us." It reminded me of the perceived intelligence study he talked about @8:00.

[@bartie55]

Haha you've got us on the edge of our seat, how did the story unfold?

[@cherieminer5422]

It’s interesting how differently intelligence is seen as valuable in men vs women. Being good looking is important across the board, but in women intelligence actually inhibits your desirability lol. If the girl in this situation had been clever but not as beautiful, I’m sure your old roommates would not have been as interested in her 😉

[@shanialee7361]

That's because males tend not to think of long-term values of relationships outside of "segz". We know from studies that; the mother's intelligence is the most momentous component to the intelligence and success of her children. In contrast, the intelligence of the father does not impact his children. But he thinks the person who will be the most significant influence on shaping his child's mind doesn't have to be intelligent 🤔 but would he send his child to a lousy school?? No, he won't! So when it comes to mate selection, men don't care just how much it will affect their children's success just as long as he enjoys having s£x with her.

[@markbenn1907]

Very funny. I can say that having a partner that can off set your insane work habits is very benifical. Likewise having somone to display incredible work ethic is very benifical.

[@XeL__]

i wonder morality of dating 10 iq woman when 200 iq "ill take care of us". emotional bond and 0 intelectual or discussion.. "me you baby now , love lvoe respect long time"

[@theradiantdadmaster5463]

I was fortunate enough to meet the woman who would become my wife when I was 17. 14 years later, 8 of which spent married, and we're still madly in love with each other and have a beautiful daughter. We're also both so thankful we don't need to deal with modern day relationship bullshit

[@ZIbroweed]

That's awesome! Glad you know how good you have it and aren't one of the idiots who think they missed something. A good family is a beautiful thing to see!

[@praba991ify]

Simp lord has spoken

[@thirdgen377]

Only people who use terms like 'simp' are the ones who can't get laid and have a personal vendetta against females for being "too picky". I'd rather be a simp than a lonely loser who thinks he's better than everybody.

[@dudebro755]

ThirdGen yeah youd rather loose self respect to get laid, thats exactly what a simp is

[@dukedirtywork620]

Watch the F out because she is now in her epiphany phase. If she starts working out more or doing better makup etc get a lawyer retained.

[@alysabaraniuk2686]

4:48 seconds in and I'm on the edge of my seat! I'm in a 3rd level evolutionary psychology class. And wow! I'm reading his textbook and when he talks he literally speaks in his textbook. We students love his textbook as it reads just like how he is speaking now. He truly loves his career! Love you too Jordan!

[@bozoferjan3399]

Always enjoying these discussions. Thank you for sharing them , professor.

[@MrDavinci1965]

"Men are less selective. If she can mumble." That's classic. lol.

[@LitoGeorge]

and maybe even not mumble. Hilarious.

[@Emmanuel_Ramirez717]

That was hilarious lol

[@DannySullivanMusic]

lolll amazing comment

[@davidlund5213]

@Brett M she's got garbage all over her, she looks so cute with garbage all over her...

[@nigelwilliams4203]

@Brett M RIP PATRICE 🙏

[@merlepatterson]

I nearly spit my coffee out when he said, "If she can mumble a little bit, that's fine"

[@DannySullivanMusic]

haha awesome comment

[@JerryMetal]

what is there to talk about anyway, right?

[@HDA_III]

The weather and stuff..

[@merlepatterson]

@@LarsTragel-zh7ei Jordan didn't say it.

[@JerryMetal]

@@LarsTragel-zh7ei So women are 75% less likely to have sex if you would ask them on the spot. That means that men will have to put at least 75% more effort into it before a girl might say 'yes'. To reach that 75% effort level you would need to; 1. Open the door for her 2. Pay for dinner 3. Pretend to be a considerate person That's it! This to me explains the dating process 😂

[@Me_Caveman]

As a man (looking for a relationship), it's often best to develop yourself. Educate yourself, learn what kinds of jobs you can enjoy/tolerate, develop your skills in all areas, and find a version of "success" that makes you happy. These actions quite often lead to interest from others as you'll be happy and confident in your sphere of influence. But if not, you'll still be happy and healthy without the relationship. The worst thing you can do is search fervently for a relationship to be in, which you'll inevitably settle for in many cases; this will lead to jumping from one relationship to the next and unlike in the first case you'll not be happy alone or be as particularly attractive to others. Work on yourself and better things will follow.

[@vickjr98]

I presume you're speaking from experience

[@Me_Caveman]

@@vickjr98 Yes. I tend to observe mistakes made by those around me to minimize ones I need to experience firsthand.

[@priyankalakra1969]

The upper conversation tells us how a mentally healthy women chooses a man but when it comes to women with low self esteem, daddy issues, narcissist families , narcissist parents, childhood traumas, etc then the criteria changes then the bread crumbs looks like LOVE and majority of the women in todays world are BROKEN.

[@AwakenedMan]

I think we all kind of intuitively know this stuff, but our modern society has become so progressive we've lost touch with these basic truths and got stuck in all this fuzzy utopian thinking that men and women are the same. You only have to try and get laid as a guy to figure out something's not right. It's good this is being discussed more openly now.

[@destroyermaker]

So progressive we're regressive

[@phantasma8401]

@@bradbecker8982 lol okay pal, whatever you say.

[@MrRoundTree903]

The Mayor of London does not seem to intuitively know this. He has gone off the deepend Gillette style and now we have an aggressive campaign against men, young boys and women. It's a bit dystopian imo. Really worried the U.K will just stiff upper lip this one as usual.

[@AlexKomnenos]

Progress is merely the illusion of trade-offs

[@babelhuber3449]

@@bradbecker8982 Lots of things we intuitively know is hard-wired in our brains.

[@reharl4953]

I like how these guys talk for ten minutes on common sense observable mammalian behavior and people start soiling themselves with rage.

[@martinburrows6844]

Yeah, were appaently evolved and advanced 😂

[@RialuCaos]

It attacks the delusions that they've been mentally relying upon, creating cognitive dissonance.

[@havinginitiative6314]

Reality is often disappointing...

[@nickbrennan3389]

Big time...everybody understand this conversation, its reality....but reality / human nature is now controverial !!...it just shows how far our societies have slipped

[@dugonman8360]

Its because for the last hundred or so years, secular humanists have been trying desperately to turn humanity into Vulcans from star trek and turn the earth into a paradise. They'll deny it up and down but they'll always say we should "be better" or "evolve as a species" and other Rousseaun phrases.

[@vincetaliaferro2777]

Im one of those guys who could be a model (not bragging its just the way it is). My looks alone have gotten me very much attention from all kinds of women. They really do put a TON into how you dress/look overall and how you carry yourself.

[@junipersnow1]

The question is... If only 6% women have sex on early encounters and Men have 75%... either Men are banging men or Women are lying on there tests.... After alcohol I would say 75% both sexes, by observation.

[@Savvynomad225]

Sucks to be you. Attention from women isn't that great.

[@NeverendingSaga]

As told by an insecure mommy's boy. You are sad

[@lyricistproductions2174]

@@mutemaids lust definitely set me back , but I’d say it’s easier to focus in my 30s knowing that I had my fun in my teens and 20s

[@tylerfraser2096]

Cool story bro

[@Rory99M]

Its a refreshing to see such a provocative topic, discussed so imparitally, and in keeping with what one might obviously expect without prejudice.

[@jonswedenborg4087]

Ppññ

[@alienzenx]

There is one thing that wasn't discussed here. How discriminatory men and women are when it comes to physical attractiveness when considering long term and short term sexual relationships. My experience would tell me that men are also much less choosy when it comes to physical attractiveness when it comes to short term sexual encounters. The reverse is true for women. Physical attractiveness is much more important if they are having a casual sexual relationship.

[@elijahisbell2622]

i think its kinda implied with the first study mentioned

[@mikhaelis]

Possibly. But women will go after even ugly men if their status and wealth is high enough. The number one physical trait women go after whether for short term or long term sexual partnership is male height. you could make 6 figures a year, have a genius IQ, spend 3 hours a day at the gym... But if you're under 6ft tall, you're invisible to them.

[@JuxtaPositionings]

@@mikhaelis dude I’m sorry, you’re nailing life but not getting laid. That’s rough

[@bramvalkenburg5655]

I doubt that’s true. Height seems to be an indication of status. But it remains an indication. Ask Bruno Mars… Status is one of the most important things for females.

[@pll9000]

Look up studies on R selection and K selection. R selection is based in pure reproduction as a survival mechanism against hostile conditions (ie "We'll be dead tomorrow os lets screw right now). K selection is rooted in long term investment in child rearing, where danger is distant enough so as to not impact decision making (ie "I can support a family for decades to come")

[@ZhovtoBlakytniy]

When I chose my husband and he accepted my wink and nod to let him know that I'm interested "I think you're handsome and pretty cool, just so you know" Him: "thanks, I like you too!" And we decided to become a couple, then we got married. Been happily married for 10 years this September. We keep it simple and straightforward and it seems to work. Didn't want to chase or play games. He wasn't rich or influential, just a lot of common interests and life goals (we both wanted a big family!) And we found each other cute!

[@saltycat662]

My husband and I were a set up blind date. We talked on the phone for the first week or so and I don't know why or how but I swear I fell in love with him then. He later admitted he felt the same before he met me. When we met, sparks flew and we both knew we were "the one". I could just feel it in my gut that he was the man I was supposed to be with. going on 17 years and still happy. I know so many people who are married 20 or 30+ years and are toxic and miserable. People always ask us how do we stay happy but I think our personalities and core values just click and it works. I think that's difficult for people to find in a partner.

[@DannySullivanMusic]

you're right. utterly true

[@rododactila4907]

Geez, you guys make it look so easy. Very happy for u.

[@TheSageSpartan]

Love that!

[@MrDarryl1958]

Ah you romanticized the mumble everyone's laughing at into a love song. A wink and a nod. "You say it best when you say nothing at all". And it is true too. The heart is of the body. It doesn't need words for others to know what it is saying.

[@jameschilds7463]

Great video as a case study in how infinitely more appealing Jordan is in delivering technical/scientific information than anyone else on the Internet.

[@mak7587]

I clearly remember choosing my husband by wanting to meet his family. I wanted to make sure there was no alcoholism which was in my family and I wanted to make sure that he was in it for the long haul making sure I had a father for my children. I noticed that he was intensely in love with me and therefore I knew that if I was irritable or disrespectful that he would put up with my nonsense. We have been married for 43 years and he says he is more in love with me than when we first met.

[@anaranjadisimo]

now tell us the truth

[@Vitek9326]

probably he just knows what you like to hear.

[@mak7587]

@@Vitek9326 absolutely, but he’s still with me

[@biomaxwellness7152]

@@mak7587 Nonsense, all part of life! Congratulations.

[@msp5138]

You left out the part about him being white...lol

[@daddypatty9897]

Imagine being approached by a woman who asks you to have sex, you say yes, then they’re like, “just kidding it’s for a study”. HAHA!

[@lorrainesimser446]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@virtual-viking]

You don't say "Yes", but rather: "What's the catch?"

[@mr.bidnessman2469]

This is how Elliot Rodgers was made.

[@DanDaMaN95cov]

Being an incel if a woman did that too me it'll send red flags. I don't even get a smile these days, must be an undercover fed.

[@Tiago_007]

Haha me too, I’d be like: OK mom where are you.

[@markbenn1907]

Studying the night club environment is probably the best way to understand this. It’s truly fascinating to see the rules of society complete circumvented. This allows for the nature to take over. I think that’s a contributing factor to violace and night clubs aswell.

[@Pezerinno]

That is why the Modern Wisdom podcast is good for such topics.

[@theyshouldhavenevergivenme5439]

Not true. The nightclub is a set stage. Then there is the element of loud noise and substance abuse to further make the whole thing highly unreliable as a location for study. There really are only artificial environments in modern society. You'll never coax any general knowledge from a domesticated human frolicking around in profoundly artificial circumstance Look, if you want to know anything about the human condition and make a study of male vs female behavior you could simply study the playground at pre-school - that's it. After that human behavior descents into an increasingly warped, neurotic and overly conditioned stage play These academics are deluding themselves.

[@jondough3339]

The dark allows the primal nature to overtake the domesticated self

[@hypno5690]

@Special Ed lmao sucks to be you

[@theyshouldhavenevergivenme5439]

@@jondough3339 well the subject is not about studying simply some primal nature is it? It is far more complex than that. Well, at least I hope it is..

[@shaggydudegaming]

I’m one of those rare guys that have no interest in having sex with a stranger let alone multiple partners. All I want is one woman who is my best friend for the rest of my life and possibly to have a couple children. I’m in no real rush although I should be because I’m 32 now. But then again I thought I found her 5 years ago (my best friend) we stuck together for that long until I broke it off. She turned out to be one of the darkest souls I’ve ever met. Looking back the red flags were slapping me in the face hard but I was in denial because I wanted her to be “the one” so bad. Still going through the heartbreak of losing what I THOUGHT I had but I now know I’m better off without her. I also know I should listen to my friends and family more.

[@mickey459]

What kind of red flags please ? Looking for avoiding mistakes here

[@sscbkr48]

I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. I met my wife on a blind date in '72. She still looks like a french model and because she was a hair stylist, I still look 39. 😉

[@kawanamzena3628]

Easy to say till Megan the Stallion winks at u 🤭😁🏃

[@wiktor9195]

Focus on yourself king 👑

[@minoritymind]

Men can't be friends with women... it's makes them dry up downstairs...

[@mmendi1114]

Video and guest aside...the comments section takes another whopping 2 hours to read ...fantastic! Thankyou everybody for sharing your bits of wisdom and info...I certainly am enlightened

[@ximenakelley]

Another thing is that we women never have to worry “is this baby mine”. I think that may be why chastity is linked with virtue, chivalry and male respect for women, but modern women can’t see that.

[@Sacrilege83]

Male resspect for women is clearly going out the door this day and age.

[@ximenakelley]

@@Sacrilege83 I really don’t think men started it though tbh

[@takealeftatthelight5284]

Except when chastity isn't demanded from men.

[@doom-driveneap4569]

Yes, there's an old saying "Momma's Baby, Poppa's Maybe" lol And FYI, it doesn't matter if a girl is very promiscuous (sleeps with a lot of men), as long we're very attracted to them. Most, if not all, men will still have kids with and be in a long-term relationship with a girl they are very attracted to, even if she's promiscuous. And just to clarify, Beauty is subjective, what I find attractive in a woman won't necessarily be what my younger brother finds attractive etc. The reason we dislike promiscuity in women is because we have the fear that she'll be promiscuous with us, that she'll cheat on us because she already sleeps around with a lot of men to begin with. So it's not the past acts that bother us but the fear that she'll do it to us. That's it, that's why we don't like it. That's why men avoid promiscuous women, out of fear that it'll happen to them. But ask any man who his dream girl is (every guy has one lmaoo) and tell them: She'll fall in love with you, have your kids, marry you and be completely loyal to you (never be unfaithful), but the catch is, she slept with one hundred men before she met you. Most men would forgive his dream girl's promiscuity if those were the terms: 100% faithful, madly in love with you, and eager to have your kids (we love creampies lmaooo). Any man who denies this is likely not being honest tbh lol

[@JB-kx9bx]

Not having sex until marriage only made sense before contraception was invented.

[@x7j4]

I’m a 70 years old Canadian male and since I was about 18 I’ve always said this: “A man almost never chooses a wife, but a woman always chooses a husband!” After watching this excellent video it appears my basic theory is mostly accurate.

[@gerardo9052]

Thats what you got wrong Women can choose you, but relationship depends entirely on men

[@massimo7219]

Women dictate access to sex, men dictate access to marriage.

[@anabolicchicken4115]

As a man I've felt this myself as well. I choose who to apporach, yet since I'm apporaching her in the first place it means I have some interest already, she doesn't and can accept/reject me at the spot.

[@gerardo9052]

@ zoidberg if You let them

[@gerardo9052]

@@anabolicchicken4115 it's a double edge sword Women are the selectors, however, they only choose from their social circle and only from the men aproaching them Men, on the other hand, since they are the ones aproaching, they can select outside their close social circle Women hold the power to the acces of íntimacy, but men hold all the power about relationship/marriage But men need to open their eyes to this very fact

[@sh-alhajri8504]

This channel is doing good for humanity! God bless you prof.

[@ML-hs3ld]

HER FIRST TEST (for dating): The physical attraction test. No pass equals no chance. Corollary: the better the woman looks, the fewer the number of men who will pass that test.

[@seadragon1456]

Yeah… they gotta be attractive for a woman to want them. But men also want to be attracted to the woman. I guess people need to stay in their lanes. 😂

[@carlospita6442]

Passing that test. 😂 like if women bring a lot of value to the table

[@kjames5682]

There are a lot of ugly grooms. And brides.

[@stactionsmedia3318]

The only reason the men were more willing to have sex, is because it is considered ok for men to be promiscuous. For women, they will be sex shamed. In truth, a woman masturbates just as much as men at night when it is dark. Just that it is in the dark and so you don't know that they do. Trust me, those women that said no, only said it because it is frowned upon. If you wait 10 years, and somehow the world accepts women to be promiscuous, believe me, there will be a 75 percent shift in favor of yes to sex, in women

[@carlospita6442]

@@stactionsmedia3318 Men have to bring so much more to the table to have multiple options. A woman is born with that value. Also when a woman gets pregnant she always knows that the kids are hers, the men don't. That's because is okay socially for a man to be promiscuous but not for a women

[@pjotrnumenev3809]

*Guy trying to explain his sexual preferences* "I'm not saying that you women are dumb, no reason to get mad. I'm just saying I wouldn't mind if you were"

[@satoshinakamoto7253]

Women are counterintuative. checkout rollo tomassi the rational and the unplugged alpha by rich cooper

[@virtual-viking]

I've heard actually intelligent women dumbing themselves down in conversations to be attractive to men. But it's a self defeating strategy (if it even works, which I doubt) as the women wouldn't be content with a guy that's dumber than them anyway. Apparently they failed to consider that the only dumb men (if any) might be "intimidated" by intelligent women.

[@ApparentlyNott]

as a woman who is genuinely disheartened and disgusted by this entire comment section, I actually respect this comment the most.

[@chaitanyagupta6668]

@@ApparentlyNott to be in a feel good mood, go watch Steve Harvey's shows. Only stay here if you have the mental fortitude to listen to the truth.

[@guywithcoolusername..]

@@ApparentlyNott no need to hurt yourself by listening the bitter truth

[@glennbeard7219]

Just watched Cinderella with my granddaughter. The happy ending is every woman’s dream …status and security. Same for Snow White. It is universally acknowledged

[@aris9560]

that's Disney for you. Corrupting little girls since WW2 :) I don't let my daughter watch frozen and all the princess bullshit. Life is not binary

[@AsurmenHandOfAsur]

Disney propaganda

[@luisantos1996]

not only Disney, the music industry, hollywood, tv ads, social media. They are so damaging to our society.

[@stevenredpath9332]

Every woman’s dream? Care to cite any studies that proves 3.5 billion people have the same dream? And if it is every woman’s dream doesn’t it follow its every mans dream as well. In fact, can it not be further concluded that every social species member wants status and security?

[@drirene57]

That’s soo true. I grew up in the 60s, heavily influenced by tv’s portrayal of what a relationship should look like. I was always looking for Prince Charming, and it took many failed relationships to realize I was brainwashed. Meanwhile men are now raised on porn and are looking for a porn star.

[@dsmyify]

Not responding to a woman's sexual advances, rejecting her, creates an interesting response. They really don't like it when you say "no”. They mostly respond with anger, maybe a public shaming or other attack, in an attempt to make themselves feel better by making the male feel worse, like it was a big mistake on his part. Sometimes they are just not worth it guys.

[@kelleychilton2524]

AMEN ... women absolutely cannot handle rejection. They also don't like being held accountable for their actions.

[@michaelzero5278]

Women are viper

[@joanofarcxxi]

Great conversation and great topic ❤

[@kenkeyes8148]

The average guy is just grateful a girl he likes is pleasant towards him. That's the business model for Hooter's and strip clubs.

[@bobsondugnutt9914]

And isn't it interesting how, historically, feminists find those places offensive? Sure, they can call men pigs, but consider that a man has access to places where he knows he'll be treated well by women. Alternatively, it's a bar, club, etc., where women withhold attention and selfishly determine his value. Such women hate that men have an alternative to their control schemes and don't need to line up for evaluation and promises of benefits.

[@bobsondugnutt9914]

@@apostate2730 I remember the 2000s when they first came into school. I can't imagine young guys trying to date nowadays with the way women are with their phones.

[@simonsays5193]

@@bobsondugnutt9914 Wow you just blew my mind with that. I dated a feminist for years and everything you said was so true. For feminists, they claim that it's just about women's rights but what they don't admit is that it's also about control.

[@AwakenedAvocado]

Yes, the average loser guy

[@davidgifford8112]

There was some interesting data derived from dating sites in US. The women on these sites were only interested in about 10% of the men on these sites. The main filters were declared income and height. It took at least $25000 more per annum to compensate for each inch missing from their acceptable partner to agree on a meeting. Height codes for physical fitness and income a measure of intelligence. A sense of humour was also high on a woman’s shopping list. Women were much more mercenary than men.

[@JoaoCosta-ly1sw]

Hypergamy ensures high quality gene selection.

[@user-lt1jd1ye3v]

Humor is so high key it’s insane. I can’t date a bore, shouldn’t imagine spending the rest of my life with a funny-less man

[@PaulAllen8.30]

@@user-lt1jd1ye3v humor is important only if you find the man you are talking to attractive in the first place. If you're short and ugly no amount of humor will save you

[@regalraccoon]

@@user-lt1jd1ye3v I audibly chuckled at funny-less. Thanks!

[@satoshinakamoto7253]

Women are counterintuative. checkout rollo tomassi the rational and the unplugged alpha by rich cooper

[@AdrianSmythe]

Jordan... I can see you very much have a friend in David Buss... 🙂... Your views on partner selection are very much aligned. (and I think very accurate too... obviously). Loved the interview... Loved the humour in what David was describing. I'd love to know David's views on the current cultural/social behaviours driving the whole incel issue (wider than "you don't have the right car", or "you're no Bradd Pitt", "You're not funny", etc).

[@Will-tn8kq]

Great interview. Nice to hear about actual clinical evidence about the differences between men and women. I lot of people just throw out any random statement they want on that subject, and act like it’s a fact.

[@msp5138]

Evolution psychology is not based on "clinical" evidence, it is based the racial prejudice of old white men...

[@Will-tn8kq]

@@msp5138 You talked about prejudice and used race a pejorative in the same sentence. Very funny joke. Good job making fun of non-sensical things confused people sometimes say. Although you laid it on a little thick. I don't think anyone is REALLY as dense as you are pretending to be

[@edwin.jansen]

We all have our own 'truths' in life and it still is very much socially acceptable to give unsolicited advice. Take any random conversion and a lot of the time it is about people complaining about other people, so I guess everybody has their conclusions about the opposite sex.

[@HenryMcGuinnessGuitar]

I like how he still remembered what the question was after 4 minutes of digressing

[@tel5690]

I have several Dr Buss books and he definitely nails it down right here. This is very important to understand the dynamics of mating strategy in men and women. Once you understand it completely. Then you are not surprised at how things work. This is freaking fascinating to read and listen to.

[@guysumpthin2974]

BIG difference between “selection” & “real love”

[@gracerodgers8952]

I found Dr Seuss more helpful.🤣

[@msp5138]

Dr Buss is great for men with a high school education or less...lol

[@c.san.8751]

@@guysumpthin2974 Well, you will find that real love does not constitute long term marriage. It is a feeling and feelings change like the weather. My grandparents were together for 68 years. They 'loved' each other but were really more like compatible great friends - a partnership. My parents have been married for over 55 years - they say the same thing.

[@Aziz0938]

@@guysumpthin2974 tf is real love

[@chickenfarm09]

You should do a discussion on age gap. I see and personally know of many young women in twenties that are selecting men that are sometimes 15 or so years older. Is this a perceived notion that the older male will have more resources?

[@LizardCane]

Yes

[@TokioTE]

Probably, and IMO men 15 years older or more have been nicer to me than guys my age. They're experienced and confident enough to be polite, initiate good conversation, and treat me well, which is very different to other more typical guys my age

[@2xcrzkxk]

Honestly it might be the maturity level. They're hoping he's done his glory days & will have matured into a decent person with women & interested in having a family. Income is part of that willing to invest but sort of comes with the older people have more money & more financial stability in general so there's that. Being that much younger means you'll be the last hottest piece he can get...unless he has ridiculous money & then you might not be lmao.

[@vromanoff84nj]

YES. 100%

[@ewest9138]

Mature young men are very rare nowadays.

[@dansimmons21]

Very interesting talk. I wonder if the choosiness changes when we’re talking about really attractive males choosing a mate I.e. individuals who are highly physically attractive, extremely charming, intelligent, talented etc.

[@sierraecho884]

You left out money and be discreet. They would have said yes if they knew nobody knows of this and they will get 5000$.

[@fourfourjunkie]

There came a point in my life when I stopped letting sex be the primary factor, the less I worried about it, the less women had power over me, the better my life became and then when I would have it, it would and still feels like the powdered sugar on my crepes, I don't need powered sugar on my crepes all the time, but it nice here and there. We can sit here spend all this money and time breaking down how a cookie crumbles or we can accept what is placed before us and learn to navigate life with no hang ups.

[@rorytennes8576]

Same. Life is better now.

[@Nalters]

We are evolving beyond sex 🤯

[@doom-driveneap4569]

Preach brother, and Amen.

[@rokko_hates_japan]

I think that comes with age. Its biology. Teens and 20's men are raging with sex hormones and preoccupies almost every thought and action. In the 30's they start to settle down and can focus better.

[@vikkiiam3083]

Women never had power over you , it was your drive for sex that had power over you . Once you stopped letting sex have power over you the better your life became . you were the cause and you were the cure .

[@garymahon2361]

MGTOW - No false accusations, no jail time, no nagging, no lose of finances, no wondering are the police going to show up at your door after a harmless date/marriage, no losing the house or kids (none) , pets etc. It is far far cheaper to rent a Professional Pleasure Provider.

[@doom-driveneap4569]

Sadly, most men will ignore all this and want to try it out for themselves smh "Counsel and advice them, if they resist, let adversity teach them."

[@arisenryan]

Too scared to live. A bit of discernment will get you through. Life is risky if you choose to engage with it. Or you can hide under a blanket and become a MGTOW guy.

[@starshine6321]

Oh, you were sent your own way. I gotcha

[@Saad72Shahriar]

@@arisenryan You have to acknowledge that there are some people who are not willing to take significant amount of risks.

[@arisenryan]

@@Saad72Shahriar Ur Currect Sir

[@Desaran91]

My issue with this version of selective mating is that it is missing a huge aspect of modern dating, social influence. You cannot leave out the sociology aspect of dating/sex/procreating. There are many aspects that society affects our choices in a partner and even if our physiology leads us in one direction due to our evolutionary ancestry, we aren't in the same situations as we were way back when. Looking back even a few decades will show a drastic change in mate selection from both men and women and is likely to change even more. Biological indicators are super important, don't get me wrong but I believe that cutting the clip right at the point of bringing up a potential sociology aspect leaves the point almost entirely void in relation to modern relationships. Ultimately, I believe that you will see the proof of a historic style of mate selection in areas where people aren't thinking, ie. a stranger walking up to a stranger and having sex relatively immediately, but when it comes to longer term or procreation partners, in today's day and age it is multitudes more complicated now that we have something that actually resembles freedom of thought and choice.

[@Chris-es3wf]

The societal aspect is quite simply dictated by the evolution of selective mating. What you think is "societal" is simply a manifestation of that evolution viewed through the lens of different cultures. Put another way, societal influence is just the way in which the same selective mating behaviors show themselves. It's a veneer. Thus, it would appear you're missing the forest for the trees.

[@msp5138]

@@Chris-es3wf That is complete nonsense. Cultures diffier greatly not only across the planet but in the US idiot...

[@msp5138]

Funny how this clown can't explain the dropping birth rates across industrialized societies...

[@stevensarens7700]

WOMEN: status, intelligence, stamina, resourcefulness, conscientiousness, ambition, in-couple generosity, social skills, talent, bank account ... / MEN: hip-to-waist ratio, youth

[@craftbroodexotics2974]

Seeing Jordan Peterson in Denver tonight!! So excited to see the most influential man of my life.

[@Cracklin]

I saw him in Texas in January. Before the talk he greeted people in line. Missed that opportunity to meet him and never had another….

[@richardc861]

Nice one!

[@mistervelux]

Ooooo! Let us know how it goes!!

[@sto4713]

Im jealous I think the world of him enjoy your time!

[@censoredrecon4029]

Oh I’m jelly, have a great time

[@sweetjulie39]

Love all these talks. I was so excited so hear Dr. Peterson is set to come to Akron Civic Center in April. The ticket prices are beyond ridiculously high to afford. It is too bad, everyone should be able to experience his sharing at an in-person venue. So glad we have you tube.

[@TrietLyCuocSongGSH]

He is the most inspiring person I have ever met, I listen to a lot of his stories. Those shares changed me a lot for the better when I heard those profound shares from him

[@Allen-eq5uf]

Nice to see Dr Peterson interview someone instead of the other way around for a change.

[@rabnif1]

I think something important which needs to be taken into account when considering the difference in the willingness of men and women to have sex with a stranger is that a woman has to constantly be considering her own physical safety when around a male she does not know. I definitely agree that women are more picky when it comes to casual sex, however I guarantee that in that experiment there would have been numerous women who said no, who would have wanted to have sex with the stranger or go back to their apartment, just as the men wanted to, but the women have to take into account that saying yes means being alone in an apartment with a male they don't know and that might be the reason they say no, not because they are being picky.

[@seankearney-mcmanus4486]

Well that’s simply one of the reasons, among others, that constitutes exactly WHY women ARE picky. Due to evolutionary necessity for women’s safety, The picky-ness was never just about physical attraction for women. For men it actually is just that simple. That’s the reason women are more picky.

[@kimvisser754]

Well said 🙏🏻 I was thinking the same

[@rabnif1]

@@seankearney-mcmanus4486 I don't interpret a woman being concerned for her safety as being picky though, especially if the desire to have sex with the stranger is still there. In this context I interpreted 'picky' to mean assessing the quality of a potential mate and if he doesnt meet a certain standard based on a variety of factors then the woman feels the man is inadequate. Women hold men to a much higher standard in that regard (for casual sex), which is separate from their concern for their own physical safety. They may look at the guy and think he is an absolute catch and sex with him would be great, but still say no because of the safety risk. I dont think that is the same as looking at a guy and thinking he is way below my standard because of his clothes, his looks, his job or his height ect. Also the stranger danger factor is not a trait of that male person per se. It's just a standard yes or no thing which has nothing to do with the womans assessment of how desirable the man himself is. It's more situational rather than an assessment of the man. To me, that is not what is meant by picky in this context, but I could be wrong.

[@ryantucker2166]

That explains why women are increasingly hooking up with complete strangers on sites like Tinder. lol

[@ryantucker2166]

@LOWKEY COMM I'm not concerned with the reasons why this is so. The fact is if more and more women are hooking up online, then they are not as concerned with their personal safety, which contradicts a post written that women view their safety as paramount.

[@iphnar]

I'm looking forward to seeing the next part about Dark Triad

[@ernie548]

So many generalizations in any such a large domain as this. It truly only makes matters more complex and difficult.

[@roshanjay7]

3:55 So I think it’s worth remembering as most do, the act might be a one time thing but looking after each other for the next 9 months and ever after needs a long term commitment. 6:45 In my opinion, this is a *huge* social problem that has seriously twisted the “balance of dating power” in modern societies, resulting in negative outcomes for All. To be honest, if you look at the dating app trends it’s made most women feel excessively desirable. This is why I think men need to *value themselves* more, especially if they’re spiritually guided, by striving for Spiritual Soulmateship. Then it shouldn’t be about superficial desire but converging within deeper Principles, and *everyone* will ultimately be happier.

[@Dbo704]

Loved this discussion, about halfway through the whole thing. You continue to be one of my hero’s Dr. JP. Thank you so much for existing and fighting the good fight.

[@LEGEND-xn5uy]

Peterson just an misoginyst fool that's it

[@jaredmello]

How you get halfway through when it was only posted 9 minutes ago?

[@georgfritz]

Oh dear, a new Religion, Jordanism

[@kristoffer8609]

@@bradbecker8982 It's not like KZbin always gives correct information. He has no reason to lie. Now go suckle Karl Marx.

[@DannySullivanMusic]

agreed dude. unequivocally correct man

[@printerssssss]

Sir Jordan I love you and your work. And there are few reasons for that. You are extremely unbiased, highly qualified and tough to say what's right but very soft and caring from inside! God almighty bless you 🙏

[@printerssssss]

@@WoodenWizard I understand what you are saying. There is a big difference between informing and teaching about our culture and bias society without being bias. Or just promoting your own agenda without any research "bias".

[@satoshinakamoto7253]

Women are counterintuative. checkout rollo tomassi the rational and the unplugged alpha by rich cooper

[@jong3404]

The clark and hatfield study is so indicative of what they’re talking about and so revelatory of how different men and women are.

[@marasegal1849]

I understand the difference between a young girl's psychological predisposition towards men versus older more mature women's psychological awareness. A young girl's environment, which she is raised in, will heavily influence her choices in who she selects for a relationship. As an older woman, I now understand the enormous value in being self-sufficient and self-reliant. Any relationship built on need will not survive. It doesn't matter if it is a need to be recognized, loved, or a need to be financially secure, the relationship will eventually fail.

[@ohasis8331]

I certainly appreciate competent and capable women. Not interested in anything less.

[@toulabillal3905]

Completely agree. I saw a lot of relationships that are going to end sooner or later cause they are based on a need. The issue her is how to know if the relationship is not based on a need. Women are very smart and they will trick you easily and knowing that your relationship is not based on a need is hard to figure out. I spent a lot of time studying women psychology and I listened to a lot of points of view about relationship and for most men it's gonna be a relationship that's going to be a catastophy in the future. I don't know who managed to make things going like that but he did a lot of damage to society and before doing this he know that it's going to end like this.

[@KyleCox404]

Yes, third way feminism for the win, I completely agree.

[@Gothicc_senpai]

most women today choose men based on lust, we are going backwards

[@s.a3081]

I click on top of my phone just as JBP notif came up. Definitely do not regret it.

[@RPMT]

Glad to see Dr. David Buss popping up more now-a-days.

[@julianob.a.6365]

As my mother always told me: whoever chooses a lot ends up being chosen.

[@yamanalahmad1914]

Can you explain that in more details please?

[@julianob.a.6365]

@@yamanalahmad1914 Of course.If you're spending a lot of time waiting for Prince Charming to share a life, over time your options dwindle and you end up being chosen by someone who isn't exactly who you expected. It's actually the same for men, being too picky can be a trap for both sexes. Sorry for my English, it's not my native language.

[@alwayshavefaith8394]

@@julianob.a.6365 You nailed it hermano.

[@AlbertWesker_GOAT]

@@julianob.a.6365 This is only for women, no for men.

[@julianob.a.6365]

@@alwayshavefaith8394 Thank you brother.

[@thecloud9show]

Great intellectual insight. Not critical here but - I struggle to identify with historical reference to Darwin. We can drill into the effect of on-line dating from this point and its not good for the undesirable on paper. Note. Great to witness Jordan getting some good listening time in. 👍

[@skonstas4683]

A poll was conducted to see some differences between men and women. Bot were asked the same question. What is the acceptable percentage of items on your checklist that will determine that the person that you met is a worthy mate? The vast majority of men said that if a woman has at least 45% of what they are looking for, she is a keeper. As for the women, the vast majority stated that if a man has 80% of what they are looking for in a mate, they feel as if they are settling for less.

[@vektheartist]

This is dope to see these two together! Had the pleasure of seeing Dr. Buss speak in Santa Monica at a business conference in 2018. His findings are fascinating!

[@andrewwoolley5758]

No pop

[@ritagreenwood9397]

Intelligence with compassion and humour is a winning formula for me; the 'looks' as they say, fades over time as can money.

[@ajaciedenniettestoppen71]

Everyone needs to hear this.

[@montieluckett7036]

When it comes to selecting a person to share your life with, I've noticed that a good portion of both genders are real Bad judges of character.

[@sarcasticidealist1309]

when young boys get told to listen and agree with women just bc they're women. and young girls get told to do whatever they want bc they're free, strong and independent yet men in society somehow are patriarchs that owe them... what can you expect!

[@jjep23]

Oh how I have been waiting for Jordan to interview Dr Buss. His books are incredible, have learnt so much from reading his work.

[@uknasa007]

whats dr buss's specialist subject?

[@jimparsons6803]

The general environment counts too, I would guess. And a social environment as well, hence gossip? Mean Girls, the movie? Dr. Peterson's lectures are usually interesting and sometimes funny.

[@NicksterNOC]

If a girl walked up to me on campus and asked if I wanted to have sex I'd think I was walking into a trap

[@sherlock7898]

“When it comes to sexual partners, mens standard drop to embarrassing levels… if she can mumble a little or even not” Man just roasted an entire gender 🤣

[@satoshinakamoto7253]

Women are counterintuative. checkout rollo tomassi the rational and the unplugged alpha by rich cooper

[@joebelman3481]

😂 😆

[@hijodelaisla275]

He's a suck up.

[@JT-91]

men need to raise their standards

[@hijodelaisla275]

@@JT-91 Why?

[@karimw.9954]

Sexual selection is a fascinating topic. My favourite essay in university was written on intrasexual competition and male aggression.

[@rushiljain9423]

I am curious on what you wrote about? If you can share the essay or essentially just share some points here

[@baswold7979]

That's disgusting.

[@typingcat]

The most weird thing about sexual selection that I have read is in one of Richard Dawkins' book. It's called the handicapped theory. In the book, Dawkins said when he first heard of it, he thought it was rubbish, but then, he became to think sort of like, "Well, it may be true." The theory is that females choose the males that have features that can hinder his surviving ability, like the long and large tail of a male peacock. The logic is that, if the male have survived after spending a lot of his nutrition on that useless thing and successfully escaped from predators with that heavy thing attached to him, he must really be good at surviving.

[@sierraecho884]

@@baswold7979 hahah

[@sierraecho884]

@@typingcat This is an interesting theory. However this only goes for certain type of species. Most do not have a disadvantage and they are chosen BECAUSE of it, most are chosen because of their strength´s.

[@paolacolombo6006]

"if a lady says 'no', she means maybe; if she says 'maybe,' she means yes; if she says 'yes,' she's no lady."

[@Thisaintit447]

Professor Gad Saad is awesome on all subjects of evolutionary psychology..

[@user-ie7jn8mc6c]

One of my uncles (moms older bro) intelligent successful and good looking. My mom said lots of women were after him in his prime and he turned them down to marry a less than average lady (in looks and brains) My mom asked him why he chose his wife and he responded better marry a fool than a high maintenance lousy wife.

[@chadgaston8615]

You should marry the one with the best self-control but since most women basically have none. Why do you think they need so much clothes and cosmetics. They spend on cosmetics and clothes while whining about student loans. And I am the one who csn't handle reality?

[@sarahrobertson634]

@@chadgaston8615 You're an incel, my man.

[@Mint-kj9kw]

@@chadgaston8615 Most women basically have no self-control?? Sweetie....if you look at porn at all and/or masturbate....YOU have no self control.

[@dasagondova4544]

They children will be under average in looks and brains...and he can do whatever he wants behind her back...sorry, but he does not look like a good character...

[@juststop022]

My father once said something that still echoes in my mind to this day.. "those hoes ain't loyal." And boy was he right!! Words to live by

[@Doctor.T.46]

What about the men who aren't loyal?

[@adio8824]

@@wyleecoyotee4252 and yet the still aim for men with more.

[@adio8824]

@@wyleecoyotee4252 Lmaoo, yess they do. Either he has the same as her or more. And most go for more.

[@kristoffer8609]

@@wyleecoyotee4252Yeah, and what a surprise that when women start getting their own resources, the entire western world collapses.

[@annjames1837]

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body”.1 Corinthians 6:19-20

[@informationgiant7697]

In one word : Dominance hierarchy

[@normandj3771]

Biology: dominance, food (money), reproduction. That is it.

[@riturajkalita8252]

I disagree I think real women like men who are responsible … I know some world famous leaders who are real men for their wife …

[@shanejknox]

My only wish is that i had a partner that i could have real philosophical and political discussions with. However i do have a clean house and an amazing mother to my child. Cant have it all.

[@kjames5682]

How long does this go on with men? Maybe you are young? I'm constantly amazed that grown men didn't settle their opinions (and keep perspective on new findings) during college age. Living life is more exciting than talking about it?

[@timothygormley1305]

Given gender selection patterns, from the point of view of most men “we’re happy to have done as well” whereas most women “settled” f or what they could get.

[@matthewsilver5455]

I've been waiting to see this!

[@delimate]

Many immune sytem disease like sclerosis multiplex cannot be traced back to genetics but to childhood traumas

[@robertmcquiggan9999]

Epigenetics. Trauma activates the epigenomic trait.

[@MustangsTrainsMowers]

I’m glad that nobody told me I’d still not have married at age 55 because I’d have been even more depressed. Women are attracted to the jerks and ______ that might cheat on them instead of me who’s going to put my heart into loving a woman. In 2016 a former coworker and I were saying I love you to each other in texts and we were talking about either her moving here to Minnesota or I moving there to Montana so we could date. That all fell apart by the end of 2016. 6 months into 2017 my health took a dive and I became very depressed and I had to go into therapy. She married another guy in late 2020 and she had a child at the beginning of 2022. I’m happy for her but oh boy it was really really hard going through the rejection of someone I hoped to marry.

[@joshuabrigden4820]

JP you're a legend mate!

[@Ghostrider-ul7xn]

@@wineordie Notice how people who try to discredit him doesn't have a single coherent rebuttal to any of what's addressed here. Its a dead giveaway that people are emotionally triggered and don't like everyone knowing the truth

[@Ghostrider-ul7xn]

@@WoodenWizard i still stand by what I said. You are trying to discredit him based on his views on things that has nothing to do with what's being discussed here. Look, I don't see eye to eye with JP on lots of things you mentioned, but I don't go around saying he's a "fraud" on topics he's spot on for the most part because he got other things wrong . If you do that, you're ironically demonstrating your own bias.

[@Ghostrider-ul7xn]

@@WoodenWizard You're still blabbering about topics that has nothing to do with what's been discussed here. You're not breaking any new grounds by stating the obvious that many of us already know. Newsflash : one can still appreciate someone's analysis on a particular topic even if they disagree with them on other's. Surprising, isn't?

[@Ghostrider-ul7xn]

@@WoodenWizard Also, just because you "demonstrated your bias" doesn't mean its a badge of honor to wear forever. If you acknowledged your bias but did nothing to self reflect and rewire it, then your opinion/assessment has no value.

[@Ghostrider-ul7xn]

@@WoodenWizard "You are blabbering about stuff thats not related to the discussion in the video as well" No. Calling you out for going on tangents that has nothing to do with the topic at discussion isn't blabbering. I invited you to share any cogent rebuttal and you've yet to demonstrate your "intellectual prowess". But please, amuse me.

[@nativecompanion1562]

All social science is the rediscovering of common sense.

[@benm5913]

This is such a great way to explain it.

[@annjames1837]

Biblical sense. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body”. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

[@tmcche7881]

Mostly they can't get that right either. Those who can do. Those who can't...

[@62Cristoforo]

And then formalizing such observations on paper with the sacred double blind litmus testing, which costs millions, and then peer reviewed for acceptance of what is otherwise known as common sense.

[@jsgdk]

I wish.

[@phildurling7185]

One wonders if cultural differences have an impact on mate selection. How would it affect this study in Middle Eastern, Oriental or Sub Sahara African countries for instance.

[@frankfowlkes7872]

A great Woody Allen/Diane Keaton exchange from the movie Annie Hall. Keaton: Sex without love is a shallow experience. Allen: Yes, but as shallow experiences go it's one of the best!

[@jmunk91]

I’m curious if male and female answers to these questions are more a product of what they think society expects them to answer(or they’re self image) and has less to do with their actual behavior. I find most peoples view of themselves is drastically different than how they behave.

[@bellezavudd]

Not to mention its from 1982

[@satoshinakamoto7253]

Women are counterintuative. checkout rollo tomassi the rational and the unplugged alpha by rich cooper

[@marlonmoncrieffe0728]

Weren't the Kinsey experiments redone a few years ago? They had thousands of participants.

[@kathrinbergmann9539]

Speaking for myself im definitely choosy who I have sex with bc of that social conditioning that women are labeled sluts for having sex

[@edmund7290]

Or is what society expects of them a product of innate differences in how they choose partners? Biological differences are nature and nurture, not just nurture and not just nature.

[@achieverslane908]

A most succinct analysis of human sexual behaviour. A game-changer in our understanding of our women.

[@msp5138]

translation: I didn't actually listen to this video at all...

[@PhamVans]

Great topic, a lot of it definitely has to do with confidence. You ain't getting yourself a good girl without having some of your stuff figured out E. G. Career, lifestyle, etc.

[@Apokalypseplease]

It's not quite true. Self esteem has nothing to do with outer things as career or something.

[@Mechaneer]

This is illuminating to me as to why I've had tremendous success in dating and having sex with a variety of women at certain times in my life, but have also utterly failed and gone without sex for over a year at a time at other junctions. I do have a few things going for me, like height and intelligence, and I'm not ugly in the face, but I'm also not Brad Pitt, nor remotely rich or famous. This video made me realize how much or how little success I have in dating has a *TON* to do with my willingness to trade down as a man. During times when my standards were lower, I have often dated just to date and get to know new people and have someone to attend various events with me. This more casual dating very often led to sex by the second date, quite naturally and with fairly minimal effort, because I do have some qualities women view as trading up compared to guys and dates they have been on in the past. I'm tall, smart, laid back and not pushy, sometimes funny, and always open and adventurous. Many of the women I've dated have mentioned me being a breath of fresh air in some of these ways. So they spend a date with me, and it seems like by the second date they've already decided they want it to end up back at my place, cuddling, etc. The other times in my life that I've had much less success in dating are the times that I've been more serious and relationship oriented. When it comes to seeking a life partner, I'm much more choosey and want to trade up or get the best mate possible, just like everyone else. Ironically, being more serious like so many women say they want often leads me to have little to no sex and no success finding a partner because my standards are too damn high. Suddenly none of the women who I feel meet my criteria also select for me, so I go on much fewer dates. And the dates I do go on, I usually feel a little disappointed and can't really see myself with the person in a long term, committed way, and since that's what I'm looking for I don't even pursue sex in the minimal way that often led to it when I was more casual.

[@AntiDoctor-cx2jd]

are you sure intelligence helped? I've been thinking about playing dumb and manipulatable to see what happens.

[@ohasis8331]

Sometimes a perfectly good wank is just the ticket.

[@joasok3642]

Hahaha!!!Just fall in love m*ron.

[@kjames5682]

Sounds like you broke a lot of hearts...

[@greent26tube]

These discussions are the best. Love it. Thanks so much!

[@satoshinakamoto7253]

Women are counterintuative. checkout rollo tomassi the rational and the unplugged alpha by rich cooper

[@noellokaychuk6495]

Not true for me. My husband is my height or slightly shorter, and has a semi-ninth grade education (he calls it 8 years of hallways) to compare to my masters degree. When we married I was an assistant professor and he was a line worker on the railroad. We made the same wages at the time, but he was in debt and paid child support. His excellent relationship with his son and general kindness was what attracted me.

[@metadata5760]

Sounds a lot like the "epiphany phase".

[@doom-driveneap4569]

You just had to boast about your masters degree huh . . . right . . . You believe you have free will right? Lmaoo and you're inherently different than everyone else, right? "Not true for me." 🤡x1000

[@Garo10]

were you around the ages of 28-31 when you married ? if u dont mind

[@good-tn9sr]

@@doom-driveneap4569 chill out man, she just have an example that she knows. Plus we don’t know much about this person, so this “flex” does nothing for her. Don’t read into it too far.

[@good-tn9sr]

@Andrei Georgescu she said not true for her. I know she doesn’t represent all women. You are getting heated over your lack of intelligence, as you misread what she wrote.

[@mountainofentities]

I remember years ago doing online dating. I put on my profile, I don't care how good looking you are if you are mean I wont be interested in you. I got a lot of attention. I still ended up with bad relationships.

[@kjames5682]

Any woman who responds to an ad with that negative in it is bound to have low self-esteem to begin with, and as such, will be a bad partner. If you phrase your ad positively (and keep the negative in your mind), you'll get women who are emotionally healthier. If I saw an ad like that, I would intuit that the man has had other bad relationships and is referring back to them instead of being firm in a new resolve to be emotionally healthy. It's not recommended to talk about feelings from bad experiences in the first part of dating, let alone even before the first date.

[@mountainofentities]

@@kjames5682 you have to be very careful dating as not all is as it seems. There are some really trouble makers out there and many that are dishonest. It can be too late if you commit to one and God forbid have kids. That will become one of the worst nightmares of your life. Woman like confidence too. But I don't like the game.

[@stactionsmedia3318]

The only reason the men were more willing to have sex, is because it is considered ok for men to be promiscuous. For women, they will be sex shamed. In truth, a woman masturbates just as much as men at night when it is dark. Just that it is in the dark and so you don't know that they do. Trust me, those women that said no, only said it because it is frowned upon. If you wait 10 years, and somehow the world accepts women to be promiscuous, believe me, there will be a 75 percent shift in favor of yes to sex, in women

[@marksauck8481]

I found the movie, "When Harry Met Sally," an interesting study on the difference of two young people of the opposite sex on a humorist note. Both strangers at the outset of deciding to make a long road trip together. Another good movie is "It Happened One Night" with Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert. Romantic comedies are a good learning device in the relationships of men and women, but not in all cases. Watching them on a date with a woman is a great way to learn about that girl you don't know that well yet.

[@nunceccemortiferiscultu7826]

That's like saying pornography is a good way to learn about sex.

[@stevefrench7036]

@@nunceccemortiferiscultu7826 Perhaps it's useful in learning what not to do by identifying the elements that are grossely absurd as well.

[@jpn8959]

@@nunceccemortiferiscultu7826 So I found this movie, it's called "When Harry Ate Sally"

[@rushiljain9423]

@@jpn8959 That escalated quickly lol

[@Will-tn8kq]

I actually found that movie to be quite misleading. I learned to understand women by reading NON-fiction. I recomended The Red Queen, it’s also by an evolutionary biologist, so it has similar insights to the ones in this video.