Matteo Lane Spills The Tea About Michael's

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[@psd103]

You ranting about printers to a cricut machine (not a printer) makes it extra funny.

[@bodegazilla978]

This. There is no better moment in my week than this.

[@ZacTurn34]

Agreeeed😂😂😂

[@rekyu3d541]

just came here to say exactly this LMAO

[@Siansonea]

_Printers never work!_ Especially the ones that aren't printers. 😆 To be fair though, those Cricut thingies are a ripoff too.

[@leitmotif7268]

Deadass

[@kishan2786]

The real gift would be to watch the 1990s Michael’s security footage of a 16 year old Matteo broadcasting, “Francesca to the yarn section, please!”.

[@darkylinky288]

2000s*, don't be rude

[@WallebyDamned]

1890s, be ruder

[@augusts1]

​@@WallebyDamned💀

[@scrbusaucuparia]

“this isn’t gonna werk 💁‍♀️🫰”

[@BeeCJ]

😂

[@The_Forseti]

"let's just say her name was Joann...Fabrics" lmao

[@amyscott6702]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@lunaguy1195]

Cool drag name

[@KimTheGoodGirl]

"back in my day, it was free" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@patka562]

I wanted to write exactly the same words 😂😂😂😂

[@Tipsywibble]

Another former employee here, and this made me laugh so freakin hard! Even in California and Idaho the stealing was practically encouraged. Both my managers: "So here are the only two security cameras in the store, they're right at the front and don't actually work. Just, uh... try to be vigilant and kill 'em with kindness." ...Several beads found their way into pockets while being remarked for clearance. So shiny.

[@standdownrobots_ihaveoldglory]

You stealing a few individual clearance rack beads & thinking that is "theft" warms my heart. My son confessed he took a single nut (hardware kind, about 10cents) from his previous workplace, from off the floor, and was worried that was theft. ❤❤❤ some of you "kids" (anyone under 40) are alright!

[@leitmotif7268]

@@standdownrobots_ihaveoldgloryif it’s from a huge corporation, I never consider it theft lol that’s why they have insurance and destroy unsold merchandise

[@da009999]

What was the best and worst jobs you've had? Was Michael's the worst?

[@youtubeyoutubeyoutube9961]

You should never, ever feel bad about stealing from a company worth hundreds of millions of dollars lol

[@robertschwartz4810]

@@youtubeyoutubeyoutube9961Yes, you should. It demeans you.

[@geniekish1417]

I love the progression from wanting to burn the place down to buying fake lemons and calling everything cute 😂

[@gretaweiss6802]

And “fun” 😆

[@Nyalful]

roasting Michael's and then buying the fruitiest thing he can. This is beautiful. This is art.

[@TheSongwritingCat]

Grimacing over the lavender candle and then getting caught up with the fake fruit is truly the craft store experience when you're just there to "browse"

[@OzmaOfOzz]

"She's married with a pitbull" 😂

[@cristinamarierosado10]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 we went tanning together !

[@tb1298]

I hope Francesca and her husband Pitbull are doing well

[@DanLifschitzEsq]

An entire minute (edited down) spent fretting over and debating the aesthetics of a fake fruit purchase. Never change, Matteo.

[@amyspeers8012]

I’m an American living in France and I do miss Micheal’s. It’s difficult to get baking supplies here. Loved your trip down memory lane!

[@ml6820]

“It seems like kids just want to watch Moana seven times a day.” Between that quote and talking about printers by a Cricut machine. This is gold. 😅

[@Xiroi87]

And when Matteo reads all these comments about his rant next to a Cricut machine, he'll probably won't get what we find so hilarious, wondering what a Cricut is.

[@ml6820]

@@Xiroi87 I mean, you’re not wrong. Lol 😂

[@augusts1]

This thread, I'm 💀.

[@sox2000]

I love how Mateo was fired from Michael's for stealing and then returns to the scene of the crime looking like a robber with dark sunglasses on indoors, a puffy jacket to hide stolen merch, and what could very well pass as a glue-on mustache.

[@MrDLW2010]

“This was $45, back in my day… it was free” had me done! 😂😂

[@drewb5845]

Poor Rodrigo now walks around wearing everything he owns at once 😂😂

[@alpal-pb6rv]

Matteo’s phrase “in their early hundreds” never fails to catch me off guard and make me teehee. Thank you Matteo

[@caseystrapp281]

i first heard that in a Kathy Griffin stand-up from 2005. She was referring to Celine Dion's husband. 🤭

[@FlowerChild65]

This is the nicest Michael's I've seen. Matteo: Slags off Michael's the whole time. Also Matteo: Buys fake fruit.

[@DoobooDomo]

At full retail price

[@jeiwaru]

​​@@DoobooDomoRight!? 😆 I thought it was cute too until I saw $8.99 on one of those things

[@vincentvangogodancer]

When I worked at Michael's it was the fake fruit we made fun of most.

[@brucetidwell7715]

They stopped selling themed cake pans because the employees stole them all. 😂😂😂 Thanks for the heads up! I'm going dumpster diving at Michael's!

[@hachinavio]

i love when i hear him say jokes again. "early hundreds" kills me every time.

[@chuckclough153]

Like the participants in the "Great British Bake-Off," so hilarious! I love how he did a 360 spin in front of the frames...great butt! Gorgeous and so funny, what a guy.😊

[@creepyspookyicky]

"Melting a witch." I FUCKING DIED.

[@battlearmanda]

I would love to see you and Nick making those Disney villain bead things together.

[@lfcoolg]

genius!

[@jaygeeeeee]

One of my favorite quick jokes was when Matteo told Nikki Glaser "I dated a girl named Francesca who worked at Michael's" & she said "I dated a guy named Michael who worked at Francesca's!"

[@racheld23biscuitsmom42]

“Which I didn’t even need” In some universe, I’m sure the need for a Winnie the Pooh pan is dire enough to risk employment. 😂

[@AncientApricot]

I'd love more videos of Mateo just doing stuff in New York and sharing his thoughts with us. It's a good time.

[@suecox2308]

I was about to post "At least Michael's is better than Hobby Lobby," and you beat me to it. Love the fruit. We need a follow-up reveal of the fruit in situ.

[@TheProduceAisleMusic]

"The clientele, I remember they were women in their early 100s coming to return a single bead" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@izanagiuzumaki7325]

$45 for some plastic fruit is bananas, no pun intended

[@emiliabolsas]

He clearly didn’t use the ever-present coupons.

[@BruthaB100]

"... and I was fired for stealing a Whinnie the Pooh cake pan."🤣🤣🤣 POV: It's hilarious EVERY time he says it!! Will NEVER get old! Absolutely GOLDEN MATERIAL!

[@JoeP44]

Describing Michael’s customers as “women in their early 100’s” made me LOL. 😂

[@candylove1234]

Something about these videos is so comforting, i feel like im being dragged around this store by my friend 😂

[@jeiwaru]

"Back in my day it was free". Matteo you wild 😆

[@TheFoodie101]

THIS VIDEO IS so GOOD you don't understand. like the whispering but also the brutal honesty and roasting. and then, hold on! "This is the infamous yarn section where Francesca and I broke up" like as if you are reporting live from a foreign city. yes, matteo.

[@phthisis]

I did a stint at Don Quijote (Japanese Walmart), where my boss(es) wanted me bagging merchandise at the cash registers or doing inventory in the back, but my favorite activity...was derping around the automotive section where I would do my all-time favorite activity of shrugging at everyone who had automotive questions and organizing Japanese car scents - the boxes were all in Hiragana/Katakana (and fortunately for me, most of the employees couldn't read Japanese), so I could read it easily and figure out which ones went where. Fortunately for me, customers were CRAZY, leaving half-eaten sammiches in the lubricant section while others carried car scents all over the market before leaving them in the grocery department, so I had fun scavenge-hunting for auto parts then organizing everything. When my boss(es) showed up looking for people to bag groceries, they'd see me doing bilingual work and leave me alone. XD

[@CaseyJohanna]

watching this slowly devolve from roasting michaels to just shopping is hilarious

[@asexton7166]

the casual attitude regarding employee theft and the intense deliberation over what fake fruit to buy is very relatable

[@shoppertattoo]

This is the content I crave. I love walking around stores with my friends and this gives the same immaculate vibe

[@autumntaylor2533]

I love when Matteo talks about his crimes

[@molly713]

warms my heart to know your experience working at Michaels in Chicago was pretty much identical to my first job at Joann Fabrics in Florida in 2007

[@lynnstlaurent6789]

Was your manager named Michaels?

[@greysunset4935]

“I’m so the opposite of a hoarder” whilst holding three bags of fake fruit.

[@suecox2308]

🤣

[@gretaweiss6802]

Women in their early hundreds coming to return a single bead 😂😂😂😂

[@kelmac1618]

I’m dying. 😂 My Sunday is complete after watching Matteo channel his inner 40 year old religious woman with 6 kids! 😆💜

[@churrymurray]

I need some more of that tummy peek. Oh my jeezus. Just so I'm not a creeper, loved the whole vid! Actually worked at Michaels for a few days

[@night_terroar9721]

“For three things of fruit was $45. Back in my day it was free.” 😂💀❤

[@lisahoshowsky4251]

This was such a mix of personal attack, nostalgia and straight truth😂😂 this was hilarious🤣 To be fair if we had any other craft store nearby I wouldn’t use Michaels but alas my crafty self is cursed to use them. I’ve also applied to work there in the past but have never so much as gotten even a F off and die rejection and honestly, I’m okay with that😂

[@Inflatable__Elvis]

This should literally be a Michael's Advertisement

[@txrabbit]

The BEST part of this adventure is at 4:54, with Matteo while totally winter dressed, raises his arms and we see that exposed furry belly! Sigh.

[@peterkrey7273]

#txrabbit----------OMG, tx, I was going to comment on the SAME thing after reading some of these!!!! See this, Matteo?! MORE, MORE, MORE!!! 😛😛😛🤩🤩🤩😋😋😋 (And stop shaving the chest!!)😠

[@alfredbonnabel7022]

U GOT THAT RIGHT... YUM.

[@m1k3ywestley51]

That was 🔥!

[@alfredbonnabel7022]

@@m1k3ywestley51 YUMMY

[@teralmiles]

I tossed off over it.

[@antoniomromo]

This was far more enjoyable than it had any right to be. 😂

[@Makdkb]

That impression of Rodrigo 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂❤

[@augusts1]

IKR? It was so quick, yet so funny. 😆

[@sunnypupbarks]

when im in my nona years i'm absolutely keeping a bowl of fake lemons on my coffee table

[@Loveboatreruns1978]

I am, and I do 😂 (It's actually a bowl of fake fruit, which are also candles!)

[@SherrySolman-TheOriginal]

​@@Loveboatreruns1978 Triple points for multifunctional décor fruits! 🍋🍋🍊🍇🍒

[@cxyz12345]

I keep on coming back to watch these videos cause I can’t get enough of the sweet squeaky laughs that the cameraman cannot contain. So adorable!!!

[@polapotter534]

love the polish slander, im polish and I find it hilarious

[@Cardioqueenmom]

Let’s not breeze over your manager being named Joanne

[@commandermercury6654]

I would’ve gone to camp in a millisecond if I’d gotten to make Gen 1 Pokémon out of those plastic dots! Those kids were so lucky! 😂

[@VanScott69]

Happy New Year Matteo. Just wanted to pipe in here at the 56 sec mark. I was the Custom Framing Manager for Michael's here in Reno for 8 out of my 16 years with the company. And looking over your shoulder at that Frame shop, I'd have to say I'd have pitched an absolute fit if any of my framers left my sample wall looking that tore up. LOL Of course we had 20 times the amount of samples on our wall at that time, and I'm a hopeless "Virgo"... (Edit for 4:54) in the words of Shenzi, "Ooo, do it again, it tingles me"...LOL

[@ZacTurn34]

Mateo calling a cricut a printer is so funny idk why😭😭 it’s so boomer coded.

[@SherrySolman-TheOriginal]

Boomers be wayy older than me, so double wayy older than Mateo. I think he's just being meta, you know. Not Meta meta, just like regular meta. Iconic. 😅

[@rudyspective1870]

4:53 (happy trail exposed) The BEST part of this video haha! 😘💕💕

[@IcyMidnight]

This whole time Matteo has been trying to print headshots on a vinyl cutting machine.

[@PatronOfTea]

I feel like you took this opportunity to reconcile your past trauma working at Michael’s 😄

[@daisymercade777]

Omg the cricut "printer" 😂 My love that is not a printer ❤

[@katie_a1075]

“These fake oranges feel more sensible” 😂

[@amyscott6702]

Matteo in truest form - we love you so much 🥰

[@streips]

I love every one of our videos, Matteo, and do a little happy Snoopy dance each time I find a new one here on KZbin!

[@augusts1]

You know you can subscribe to his channel so you get notifications of every video he makes? Click on his name & hit the subscribe button & then the 'All' bell. Voila! You're set.

[@jodiepotter6029]

Omg!!! The bucket and melting a witch!! You just made me laugh and feel so damn old!!!😊

[@velvetpaws6642]

As a former employee at a Michael's, I find this too funny! Having worked in framing can confirm it was definitely the best part of the store to work in. But Matteo what about the cinnamon scented pinecones that overwhelmed everyone when they walked in the store?! What about the singing fish & or other items that people pushed to play All Day Long?! Before you got the boot because the lure of the adorable cake pan was too much were you ever involved in the Hell that was inventory? Please do an episode about that if so, it was traumatizing!! A side note: in the store I worked at the general manager had no clue how to handle a return. He'd always just have a cashier do it for him. 😆

[@mangamaster03]

I used to work at a grocery store, and we got cinnamon scented brooms. They smelled the same as the pinecone Michael's sells, and they are horrible.

[@lynnstlaurent6789]

They still sell the pinecone. Fortunately it’s outside now. The synthetic scented candles are bad enough. I know exactly what I need at Christmas time, which is roughly from September to December at Michaels, and get out to avoid a headache.

[@velvetpaws6642]

@@lynnstlaurent6789 oh man... Of course they'd put it outside, ages later. I think it should have always been out in fresh air. Omg those candles should go too, but they won't. Your description of getting out of Michaels reminds me of how I am in the detregent aisle.

[@veevee111]

That "printer" will NEVER work because it is a die cutter. 😂

[@spectrified]

There are so many moments of this video that share spiritual DNA with Coco Peru’s videos I feel. 👏👏👏

[@ZVT946mtr36]

OMG, the metal bucket making you think of melting a witch. Hilarious.

[@getbenzd]

Omg I’m having a boy crush moment. Jealous of the cameraman who got to walk behind and capture the view and the midriff - best late Christmas present I’ve gotten. 🤤😍😘

[@greenbrown7776]

Matteo is a gift to jeans.

[@yellowsnowangel]

8:34 That is why glitter is referred to as “craft herpes”. 😂

[@zzizahacallar]

Yessss! Just in time. Thank you for this video.

[@tysons9222]

“are we being watched” literally standing in front and of a security monitor

[@tysons9222]

am I the only one screaming “thats not a printer”

[@JenTulsi]

As a former retail loss prevention investigator- I loved everything about this!

[@StorytellingHeadshots]

Lol “This isn’t gonna *snaps above head* WERK!!!

[@MachelTheDestroyer]

The 700 Club. You poor thing. That is torture.

[@MaggiDaC]

Omigods the 45 second version of the breakup story is EVERYTHING ❤

[@livinthedream777]

Too many gems to count in this one! 🤣 Loved your walk down memory lane, Matteo!

[@tripaffleck]

10:28 "Back in my day, it was free..." 😆😆🤣

[@DianaDoesDisney]

I LOVE this Michael's. That escalator ride of shame is just long enough to wonder why you think you need whatever you are about to buy...

[@nnn248nnn]

Oh that's cute... Matteo calling the Cricut a "printer." x)

[@katewoods4833]

one of my favorite summertime activities is to pop an eddie and go aisle by aisle through my local michael’s. they’re always air conditioned and almost always deserted at 1:30pm on a Tuesday.

[@kyleyG]

I worked for Michaels for over 4 years.. this video was lowkey traumatic 😂💀

[@richarddamico5639]

Breaking up with Francesca in the yarn section. Classic…I love it!

[@SketchingWithSarah]

Knowing that Matteo Lane worked at the Michaels in the town where I grew up made my day 😭

[@freyjabrigid]

I really needed this today. I mean, everyday, but today especially.

[@frankramirez271]

Your like the old single Tia that takes care of her mom and complains all the time lol I love it

[@teresateresa8933]

Omg. Talks about being the opposite of a hoarder and trying to toss out husband’s shirt cause it’s not being used all while walking around the store with a mitt full of fake fruit ready to be purchased....lol This guy’s the best!!!

[@audreye1202]

This was unexpectedly hilarious 😂❤

[@lucilleyoung4744]

This was hilarious! Matteo is so honest. loved the part about glitter. You would be a great CEO. You would be a great president. 😅

[@jakeryan7913]

bro I think you were getting real all over the store lmfao 😂

[@TheBiscuitFactory]

4:15 literally was pouring my bottle of Olga vodka when he said that

[@meghood]

Omg I can't stop laughing, this was the best 😂! Michael's was always the start of a great idea that never got followed through with, tons of money spent on supplies that eventually got shoved in a bin in the garage. So you can feel less bad about stealing as I bought enough junk to cover their losses from a few theiving crafters 😜 And I ALWAYS forgot my coupons at home.😆 ❤Meg

[@makeitshatterstudios]

Former Michael's framer here.... lmao gods bless you and this hilariously relatable content 😂❤

[@hannahfrazier5332]

My younger sister works at a Michaels and everything you've said is SO VALID!!!

[@227des]

“WHICH SHE WAS…right cause i got fired for stealing”

[@vapor4den]

Hey Matteo ! You should do a house tour, I think it will be funny AF like when you make pasta. This was a great video lmfAo I'm dead

[@lexilou8]

Laughing out loud to Matteo while I shovel snow in north Idaho on a Sunday afternoon THANK YOU MATTEO!

[@Ash-fd5yi]

Matteo picking out fake fruit is me making any decision 😂so relatable

[@DaGirlification]

“back in my day it was free” is iconic, my hero

[@quantafreeze]

😂 the 700 Club 😂😂😂

[@elaina147]

"Women in their early 100s" and ranting about broken printers (completely correct, by the way) while pointing to a Cricut vinyl cutter is hilarious. Thank you for brightening my Monday morning.♥

[@embrygaming]

Love this! Reminds me of Coco Peru's videos of her going to different stores to shop!