McDojo Breakdown: Systema Dilemma

On today’s McDojo Breakdown we are going to be talking alot about some martial arts instructors of the syled Systema and some of the weird techniques they put out. Enjoy :)
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Disclaimer: We do not encourage you try any of the techniques shown on any of our breakdown videos. If you are going to try them anyway we suggest you do so in the safety of a martial arts gym with trained professionals. Train responsibly.
FAIR USE
This video falls under fair use protection as it has been manipulated for educational purposes with the addition of commentary. This video is complementary to illustrate the educational value of the information being delivered through the commentary and has inherently changed the value, audience and intention of the original video.
#McDojoLife #mma #FakeMartialArts #mma #taichi #china #chipowers #judo #kungfu #XuXiadong

[@terriblycleverchannelname5620]

armed assailant: *puts gun into my chest* me, systema practitioner: *rubs the barrel of the gun all over my vitals*

[@stevenh8770]

but...but... he had his pinky in the barrel to be sure the bullet cannot come out!

[@vincentlee7359]

Kinky.

[@stevesteveson2537]

@Schöner Albtraum 😂😂

[@The_Ballo]

Reminds me of the Ameridote disarm technique of using your mouth to grip the barrel

[@danielch6662]

What we need is a metal thing that is worn continually over the fingertip. If anybody ever comes at you with a gun, you just insert it into the barrel and remove your finger. It works like a concrete expansion anchor, but is designed for the smooth barrel of a handgun. When the propellant charge goes off, it jams even more tightly in the barrel, completely disabling the weapon. A variant of this is designed by be launched from a rifle. If you can manage to get this into the other guy's muzzle, you win. I call my invention the "muzzle plug". Remember, you heard it here first.

[@MajorRoy]

Systema has many beneficial applications. Through the healing power of laughter, it has probably saved millions from certain death!

[@jerry171460]

You're damn right! I smiled when I watched this video.

[@jodyaugust5087]

I started reading your comment and went from ready make fun of you to straight up agreeing with you

[@anthonybalista7421]

You had us in the first half.

[@JakeNukem3D]

Why am i doing jiu jitsu when i could be doing systema? Imagine the surprise on the janitors face when he tries to shoo me away from school with a broomstick, and i use my beerbelly paralyze superpush on him!

[@McDojoLife]

Works everytime none of the time 😂

[@jasoncronin9145]

The next time one of those nerds tries to get you in a Kimura trap just let your chi flow through them and they should collapse immediately.

[@JakeNukem3D]

@@jasoncronin9145 chi and cholesterol!

[@Jamoni1]

Don't forget to strike him gently in the pelvic area with your leather whip.

[@SigGuy320]

I remember learning about Systema for the first time when I was a kid and saw Vladimir Vasiliev in Black Belt magazine. He's been in it numerous times since then, but I'm pretty sure I had the issue with his first appearance. Black Belt has done a lot to delegitimize the martial arts over the years. As a kid brought up on 80s/90s martial arts movies, I was absolutely hooked on the magazine and its BS, but as an adult I hate how irresponsible they've been. Ninjas, George Dillman, Systema, and all sorts of nonsense have graced the cover of that rag.

[@thesupremepizzaking]

So many people featured in Black Belt mag, such as Frank Dux, could have easily been shut down with just the smallest amount of investigation. The new trend seems to be people claiming to formerly be in or connected to some sort of organized crime syndicate because there is virtually no way to be able to confirm it, be it the vors, triads, la cosa nostra, yakuza, whatever.

[@seadawg93]

Lol, I bought his 3 video tape by TRS, through their full page ad in Black Belt magazine!

[@pavolverescak1712]

Can someone give me more examples of bs that was in bb magazine if they can, please?

[@thesupremepizzaking]

@@pavolverescak1712 Count Dante (the Dim Mak guy advertised in comic books) was featured in 1964, twice in 1969 and again in 1976, George Dillman was made Black Belt magazine's instructor of the year in 1997, and of course the biggest fraudster of them all, Frank Dux had his bs run in BB in 1980.

[@pavolverescak1712]

@@thesupremepizzaking huh, i guess the bb mag started it all didn't it?

[@justdatway]

He forgot to put his tongue to one side and open his mouth while pointing his toes up and down to nullify his chi. Or was it tongue out feet twisted left and right? I can’t remember

[@markboorman9583]

See, that’s why you can’t do it

[@Joh666porra]

I think it was: Point your ego up, put your disbelief to the side and twist your reality. This way the BS becomes unbeatable

[@Coolbird00]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@justdatway]

@@markboorman9583 damn I need to go back to his class of wizardry. I clearly got the steps mixed up.

[@justdatway]

@@Joh666porra oh see he never taught that part. I thought it was like poke the belly out and stand there while tickling your opponents funny bone was the absolute only way to kick ass and chew bubble gum 🤷🏽‍♂️

[@tridoc99]

Thank you for bringing awareness to so many lesser known martial arts. As soon as I get my 1st dan in Couch Jitsu I am going to start learning Systema.

[@Fightingat40]

Man going back to my teenage years reading martial art mags and actually believing this garbage to be real is embarassing. But seeing the same frauds 20 years later still teaching is just mind blowing. Keep on keeping people informed my man!

[@MaharlikaAWA]

That guy who was supposedly paralyzed was pretty calm and unconcerned with being paralyzed. I think if it was real and he was really paralyzed he would be shocked and freaking out at least. Like very concerned and want to be put back to normal ASAP. He just laid there like he was relaxing and laughing about it like it's not a big deal but just so cool and in awe.

[@lilith4961]

Id be changing my religion and world view if someone in real life could paralize me with super powers like that lol

[@johnstrahl3429]

Thank you for making me laugh so hard my neighbors thought I was in trouble

[@McDojoLife]

Thank you for the comment and support of the page

[@JohnRBIV]

I wish i could laugh that hard at anything

[@Joh666porra]

If you knew Systema, you would never be in trouble!

[@btpmacombat]

Hahaha 🤣

[@remshot1998]

Liar

[@fletchkeilman2205]

The music you played during the Japanese guy's Systema demo made me feel like I was watching a Dodo video of two disabled kittens finding friendship with a deaf mute dolphin. Good times.

[@kevinlee8663]

Definitely a 5 Dillman production. Thanks for the laughs.

[@chrismize2738]

The beauty of Systema is it’s ability to break almost every law of reality and physics👊🏻 Bravo, I was a three stooges fan as a kid😄

[@k.v.delchev6022]

The whip things are called volchatka (волчатка), from volk (волк) - wolf, since it was a hunting whip. As always, Ryabko just appropriates a tool that old Russians once used for some masculine profession and swishes it around like some icon of authenticity for his travelling circus performances.

[@TheZombieburner]

Aren't those quite dangerous? they're lead weighted and basically long-assed blackjacks.

[@k.v.delchev6022]

@@TheZombieburner Yes, they are. Every heavy thing that can be moved fast is capable of dealing damage.

[@stevesteveson2537]

Bullshido always has oddly specific scenarios. “Here is how to defend against two men pinning you to a wall with sticks”

[@hinderminder5250]

Its just an exercise it's not supposed to replicate a real scenario. Pushups aren't replicating a fight scenario but they certainly help

[@The-Man-On-The-Mountain]

@@hinderminder5250 Push ups are not and never were meant to be martial art techniques or self defense techniques. What you did here has got a name: fallacy.

[@hinderminder5250]

@@The-Man-On-The-Mountain who decides what they were meant for? You? I guess you talked to the guy who invented push-ups lol

[@elvispussley8887]

@@hinderminder5250 you Kung Fu cultists are fucking ridiculous.

[@yourtrappedinmygenjutsu]

@@hinderminder5250 bro are you serious. Push ups are obviously meant to stimulate growth in your muscles when you aren't doing physical labor or have weights. It's literally called an "exercise"

[@JarrodHahn]

I tried a Systema class in San Diego a few years ago. The warm up was just a mosh pit rolling off of each other. Then it was silly knife disarming techniques. Like I thought it was going to be batman-style, fighting off multiple attackers...nope. I promptly joined a BJJ/Muay Thai place and never looked back.

[@callmedavex2]

You have chosen.....wisely. 🙏🍻

[@gilfpv7171]

You did not understand what was going on. Read my comment above..

[@ijejlnfzzdfar7540]

I am sure BJJ is teaching you to fighting off multiple attackers. You made the same mistake a lot of people do: go to one lesson and pretend to learn batman-style fight technique.

[@lucasgrey9794]

@@SuperEpicman9 Batman's secret is his BODY ARMOR. His suit is literally bullet proof. If an Amateur MMA guy put on such a suit with the gadgets they too could be a "caped crusader".

[@lucasgrey9794]

There's a Jiu Jitsu guy on KZbin called Kevin Secours who basically took the useful aspects of Systema and incorporated them into his Jiu Jitsu.

[@jonathanshumpert9549]

I love the part where he is taking on multiple knife attacks at once. In my head, I added dialogue "Quit, it tickles, it tickles".

[@ronarnett4811]

Well, they are all trying to hide their laughter if you watch closely.

[@buckybryan550]

You've really stepped up your clip game on this one. Solid counterpoints HAHA! This crap is funny, sad but funny.

[@OneNvrKnoz]

Amazing. He’s literally directing the barrel to point into his vital organs

[@CorduroyNinja]

The arrested development "leather daddy" was a top notch cut...bravo

[@imreadydoctor]

Rob, you're a very funny guy, but no joke of yours could ever top that multiple knife defense via worm-wiggle. That shit was hilarious.

[@markhatfield5621]

8. The 'whip thing' can be part of exercises to relieve tension and learn to deal with stress but in this example the whipee seemed to really be getting into the theatrics.

[@LearnTrainPlay]

love the key and peele sketches, perfect examples of what would happen.

[@MichalLempicki]

Thanks for the great video, I needed a dose of comedy in my life today.

[@easygroove]

that "reality of Stick fighting" was top notch

[@Hot_N_Spicy]

That belly inflation was funny

[@Dr.KarenMarsh]

Probably the coolest move I’ve ever seen

[@stevecastro1325]

Well, they’re all funny.

[@sgt7]

The one self defence technique I seen that actually requires you to be overweight.

[@simoncanning6796]

That food baby sure can kick!

[@khiemdoan1156]

You are one of the funniest channels... always laughing when I watch your videos, love from Australia, keep it up !!

[@matthewreed2614]

we havent heard about the guys who successfully used systema defense cause they’re all dead

[@Fede-xw9zz]

I have... yet i also practice boxing... systema is really good only if you know how to apply training to reality

[@botanicalbiohacking6065]

I have, but I also trained kung fu for years. I used systema as a drill for slowly increase pressure testing with multiple opponents. Don't this way it is very useful.

[@gwahyu4547]

Eye opening and entertaining, sir. Thanks a million 😁

[@mearlthompson1401]

Systema Dilemma! Great commentary Rob. You da man!

[@briansheeran4185]

I once asked a Systema practitioner to show me his knife defence. I'd seen their ridiculous videos of "attackers" falling to the floor whilst being disarmed. Using his own (thankfully) blunt aluminium knife, I stabbed him at will.

[@kevinmccleskey3858]

Great video! The humor, the editing, the floppy footage of floppy squid style. Perfection!! 🤣LMFAO🤣

[@84erMaxe]

just to mention: neijia and waijia are the opposite principle in chines martial arts. we call all the "outer styles" like hungar, shaolin quan fa etc. waijia. The force comes from the outside (muscles, bones). The principle of neijia "inner styles" incloudes styles like taichi, wudangpai, baguazhang or xingyi quan. In the theory, the force lies more within tendon tension, elasticity and so on. practitioners of neijia compare their way of building up force with a whip-lash. You move the handle and as the movement travels through the whip, it gets smaller but faster, until the last string breaks the sound-barrier and creates the sound. So neijia or waijia by itself are no styles, but a container of different styles.

[@RaptorLacrosseTraining]

Let me disarm a pistol by shoving the muzzle into my chest??????

[@Crosis101]

I AM BLEEDING, MAKING ME THE VICTOR!:):p

[@martiallife4136]

Man. You took the words out of my mouth.

[@bandicamnick7903]

The Key & Peele clips made this video so much funnier

[@dazza0018]

Brilliant Rob thanks for sharing this , it is so hilarious !

[@adamkormos5310]

It's kind of interesting that systema varies a lot depending on the school. I'm from ex-soviet republic and here there seem to be two main styles of systema, one that is this weird qigong stuff, and one that is basically Russian krav maga.

[@nicolaiveliki1409]

lots of BS schools in KMG, too. I was lucky to get one that is serious from the start and teaches effective tactics and techniques that rely on speed and leverage, not hokus pokus

[@lionsden4563]

The only legit Russian Martial Arts is Combat Sambo.

[@frankperrella1202]

​@@lionsden4563 Oleg Takagrov UFC champion Mixed in Sambo & Systema, So does Dan the Wolfman Theodore MMA fighter trained 35 years uses Systema, Catch Wrestling, Savant BJJ. I trained Greco Roman Wrestling in A Catholic highschool, Tangsoodo Sambo & Systema. God bless Combat Systema From real MMA Guy's are serious. Any Art is good if you have a good teacher with a Solid back ground. People can Argue about the Super Natural But there is a God It's actually based from Protecting Christian Monk's in the 10th Century & Roman Soldiers. This video is nonsense. God bless 🙏🥋🥊🥊🛐

[@frankperrella1202]

​@@nicolaiveliki1409 Same can be said in any Art! I seen Crap Wrestling & BJJ guys with Blue belts who got beat up from street Fighters with a little grappling Skills. God bless 🙏🥋🥊🥊👍

[@lionsden4563]

@@frankperrella1202, Systema is garbage made by a con man.

[@alexthegordonhighlander1159]

Super entertaining brother! Thanks for this.

[@TenchiBushi]

Painful yet entertaining. The music score was perfect!

[@Phoenixrising1925]

Loved the music. Definitely added to the video. What was the Japanese movie in the clip where they were hitting each other with sticks? I haven’t seen that one and want to look it up. Thanks!!

[@McDojoLife]

“Zatoichi: the blind swordsman” pretty damn good movie

[@MrByaeger]

Having firsthand been to some classes for similar bogus arts , I saw a trend of the teachers always having either one main assistant or a handful of higher ranked students that always went along with every single aspect of the demo's in an overly dramatic fashion . Lot of flailing and flopping around in ways that people just don't react like. So I coined the term "Spooky Uke " because it was scary how much they bought into the BS.

[@LackofEthics]

Systema videos are always gold

[@clintcollier9812]

I love how you commentate on these jokers. Thanks again for sharing these videos, it's like getting the joke of the day. I hope you and all my other fellow legitimate martial arts brothers and sisters have a great day. Clint.

[@zakpodo]

This was pretty good, but the music made it for me. Perfect selections, you have a gift

[@micloupe8978]

My favorite part of this video is watching Rob try not to laugh when setting up the clip from Friday. 🤣🤣

[@wanwanutan-nt5rg]

This video is older but here’s my systema experience. 1.I didn’t learn how to fight, I learned how to release tension in my body. The techniques and exercises were all about locating tension and trying to reach a state of relaxedness. Try stepping on a golf ball. You should feel the tension go up to your spine if you’re stiff. Breath, and on the exhale you will relax a bit. Repeat 30 or so times until the tension leaves your body, and the golf ball only sends tension up to your foot and no longer causes an arch in your spine. 2.”Fighting” was just trying to locate tension in the other person, and striking that part because tense areas conduct energy more. If you get hit it hurts less if you’re relaxed and turn with it. All movement should be within a breath for the relaxation benefit and added oxygen. There were no drills, so didn’t learn how to box or fight per day though. 3.If you do manage to master relaxation, the power behind punches can be more than you’d think. I took a hit by the teacher with his relaxed punch which floored me due to the slow asphyxiation caused my my inside muscles tensing up (apparently there are different levels that reach further into your body). Had I not breathed as instructed, I would have gone to sleep or had other issues, because breathing was the only thing that caused the muscles to relax and open up again. 4. I eventually quit because I wasn’t learning how to fight, and, because the instructor also threw punches to the face while I wasn’t expecting in a “free defence” thing. I felt that wasn’t something any instructor should do and didn’t want to be feeding his ego. My takeaway is that systema won’t teach you combat, but it is a great auxiliary tool that can teach you to relax. Especially, relaxation can help with stopping *fear and panic attacks*, which other arts don’t talk about. Of course, boxing or other real combat experience is the best for learning to fight and overcoming fear of combat, so do that.

[@shonnas77]

Hilarious video! For the multiple knives, I was hoping for the scene in American Me. LOL!!!!

[@johnpublic7796]

McDojolife videos are more deadly than Systema, especially if you're eating dinner while enjoying the comedy. Omg I nearly choked on my chicken dinner.

[@GregHoyle]

You have some great videos, McDojoLife. What is the name of the movie that the snippet at 5:23 was taken from? I really want to watch it.

[@nss_BoB]

oh god i was like he should use the stick training bit from zato ichi for this one. you read my mind and i spilled my coffee. thank you for amazing morning xD

[@AllegroFitnessArt]

Holy shit. I’m almost at a loss for words on this one. Wow… I’ve seen the two head “instructors” pitch some bullshit before, but the footage in this video is on a whole new level. Wow…… wow….

[@seanfaherty]

Just ran into your videos again. Nice to see you

[@adampalagi1130]

I thought I seen it all until the “knife defense” 💀

[@TRUSTLIFENOW]

Loved the comedy compilation👍

[@badnewsbrown10p]

Here's the REAL question. Could systema guy beat a prime Charles Manson?

[@tombstoneharrystudios584]

Nope…Manson in his prime was crazy and probably the only way you beat an unpredictable, motivated and insane person like that is basically shoot him dead.

[@miltondowling]

Loved the dance escape from the several knife attack.

[@thomasgiven718]

Freaking hilarious 🤣 Thanks again bro !!!

[@irideadarkhorse9979]

I challenge you to go to a Martin Wheeler class in LA .

[@Scorch1028]

Given the number of micro 9mm pistols being carried today, "handgun disarm techniques" are even more difficult to pull off than ever before. I would "hate" to try to disarm someone who's holding a P65, Hellcat, MAX-9, Shield Plus, or R7 Mako. It would be even more daunting if someone were carrying a pocket pistol or a derringer, because then it would be virtually impossible to disarm them.

[@warpeace4058]

That clip from Zatoichi the Blind Swordsman had me ☠️!!

[@MaxPower-js1sk]

Guns in a Dojo/Kwoon…always a winner! 👍

[@MrSativacyborg]

The spinny spinny knife defense was adorable

[@Rampage4635]

The multiple knife defense looked like a tickle fight. I may try it

[@michaelmangan7963]

I also like that he lets go of the knife hand and the attacker falls to the ground still holding the knife 😂

[@bi0lizard1]

Literally the best laugh I’ve had in a long time!!LMFAO!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 ty for the video.

[@chefxhyrule242]

5:48 the dude literally slomo slashes the knife across his neck😭

[@fakeblackbelts]

Dope content!!!!

[@adamtennant4936]

OMG, that multiple knife "attackers" scene! 🤣

[@thepepperdojo8757]

This was awesome! I was crying the whole time! 😂😂😂👊🌶🔥🥋🇺🇸

[@robcubed9557]

You get an upvote for including Key and Peele.

[@grayalun]

Some of the Systema stuff seems interesting, their breathing and relaxtion stuff looks cool and also the mobility stuff they do looks interesting as well. There must be something laudable as I saw Machado said he rates it and recommends his students also train it which was interesting. I'm not sure how effective it'd be on its own but along with something else maybe, I dunno but some of the stuff is strange to me.

[@navajanoir68]

There are better ways to do it than the way they do it. You want relaxation and breathing? Do yoga. mobility? Stretching? and functional strength exercises? Yoga, calisthenics, and weight lifting well get you covered. If there's anything that works from there, they most likely took it from another discipline. The vast majority of systema sucks.

[@Nilda9911]

@@navajanoir68 It's stupid to compare yoga to systema, the form, the pedagogy, the words to use are all different.

[@grayalun]

@@navajanoir68 I get what you mean, it depends on expectation I guess if you enjoy it and are under the delusion it's an amazing fighting art then all is good. The issue is when folk think it's effective in combat is where I have the issue. I like the Wim Hoff stuff for the breathing exercises he's a very interesting guy.

[@navajanoir68]

@@grayalun wim Hoff is an interesting dude, I got his book and do several times a week cold showers and everyday I do some of his breathing exercises and meditation. Good stuff.

[@brihno360]

Imagine the money I could save on trigger point if I could just have someone relax my muscles that much

[@cdarius2020]

Keep up the great vids.

[@mccalltrader]

I’ve trained JKD for awhile..it has its limitations..but Bruce knew this, hence the JKD philosophy But for goodness sakes, with all the problems of JKD, at least our founder is a chiseled specimen that actually looks like a fighter, and wouldn’t get winded throwing a jab!

[@frankperrella1202]

Dan the Wolfman Theodore MMA fighter trained 35 years he does Systema Combatives. I did Greco Roman Wrestling, Tangsoodo, Sambo & Systema the Systema helps with Relaxing in Grappling & giving Stronger Striking. Go look Up Oleg Takagrov ex Ufc Champion he mixed in Russian Sambo & Systema was UFC Champion 🏆 They also are About Faith in God the Roman Soldiers used Systema to protect the monk's in the Catholic & Eastern Orthodox Faith of Christianity. It's got roots going back to the 10th Century. God bless 🙏🥋 I seen people get Schooled Bjj guys they get out Wrestled from Systema Wrestler's Systema people come from all different martial arts backgrounds.

[@jakeizlove]

First guy was clumsy. I’ve seen some very good Systema practitioners.

[@thenewberrym.c.914]

The "what would happen in reality?" clips made me laugh.

[@jonnygranville281]

It amazes me people go along with this lunacy.

[@JoesRambles]

The suspension of disbelief in those clips is absolutely unmeasurable

[@corazondelince]

Systema will not only turn you into a slow-motion fighter but it will also transform your body in the same way that eating at McDonalds does.

[@RRReactionsReviews]

While he’s laying down someone should yell OH SHIT A LION! 😂😂😂 see if he holds character

[@TheQue5tion]

Two questions. What was that film clip from when talking about sticks? Give me that funky music from the knife demonstration. That's not a question but I want that track.

[@timothylenert6066]

Oh man... The music made the whole thing! Was the goofy soundtrack your addition, or part of the original???

[@Tht1Gy]

I have just watched the first 50sec.s and that dude just put the entire clip/mag into his own body. What a putz.

[@nbvw3]

Hahaha the editing is great!!

[@quadrant2012]

That not getting up shit was amazing , I can't believe he did that.

[@brunoboettcher8921]

Hilarius, thanks had a really good laugh!

[@jeremygaudette1198]

It’s so bad it looks like a parody🤣

[@jasonwilliams8321]

BJJ blue belt here. Gracie Jiu Jitsu 2000-2003. I see lots of comments from people saying "Oh I study BJJ and this stuff is shit. " Well, I concur that this stuff as presented is shit along with a vast majority of martial arts you'll find demonstrated on YTB. But realize that if you do get into a real life altercation (something that probably 98% of you have never experienced) and more than one person is confronting you your BJJ is shit.

[@LifeForceChannel]

Good call brother 😊👍

[@christiangauthier727]

1:36 That guy is such a Paragon of Fitness! 2:08 "Try to raise your legs." Of course he can't! He doesn't understand English!

[@MyBudo]

The dillman ranking kills me..its a perfect salute to the biggest conclown in the dojo

[@jacobcendro4617]

For multiple knife defense you should’ve shown the last stabbing scene from American Me… it’s pretty accurate in that scenario 😂😂😂

[@bobadams7654]

Wow. Amazing !

[@richarddeslonde4402]

Please also call out Martin Wheeler and his associates, and those who also vouch for him - Rigan Machado, Dan Inosanto, Black Belt magazine, etc.

[@luciuskapahs5547]

I love that you used Key&Peele sketches for the reality bits lmaoooo

[@Hapkumdo]

OMG, one minute in the video and I almost can't countine watching from laughing :D I wish I could like this video 10 times!

[@JohnGalt916]

My first question after :46 why would I get that close to you? Is his aim that bad? Is this the guy who misses the urinal?

[@botanicalbiohacking6065]

bad guys don't understand projectiles. They use guns like they insert staples. Didn't you get the memo?

[@drunkmonkeydude5515]

Dude reminds me of the landlord from kungfu hustle. Everything just bounces off him. Fists, knives, guns, nothing can touch him.

[@nightshade7240]

"If my opponent's knife is lodged in my body, he can't use it as effectively, right?" - this video in a nutshell.

[@JohnDoe-sr1dd]

When your sensei looks like Humpty Dumpty and can do magic bondage whipping katas, you might be in a McDojo.