Meanwhile… Mountain Dew’s Summer Flavors | Germany’s Pigeon Murder Plan | Chick-fil-A Summer Camp

[@KealohaHarrison]

The idea of paying a corporation to let your kids work for them for nothing is such a horrible concept I’m surprised nobody put it in a dystopian novel yet

[@courtney-rw8ch]

Unfortunately, in some countries, it has been around forever

[@KJDogluv]

They are not working for them. It’s a closed door kids camp, not open for business, the kids make snacks for themselves. Why don’t you actually find out things before screaming about it?

[@mauricio2456]

​@@KJDogluvSounds logical. They take about, what?, an hour? making the snacks for themselves, then the rest of the day they do... other stuff. But, just wondering, if they don't make the snacks, they don't eat? Anyway...

[@KrakenIsland64]

​@@KJDogluvbecause thats...comparatively, slightly, better? If that's the best description you give as an advocate, it sounds like a pretty shiddy experience for a kid.

[@crash.override]

I am compelled to point out Defunctland's new YT video on "Kid Cities", which are 80% pretending to work jobs at brand-name businesses. Veiled advertising to kiddos.

[@Terastas]

"Why are we trying to repeal child labor laws? If we call it a summer camp, we can actually CHARGE to have their children work for us!"

[@daviegriffin3539]

😈 *GENIU$. BTW, **_Chick-fil-A is a corporation with such great "Christian Family Values"._* ✝️💵 😳

[@Kwk16534]

Repealing child labor laws is a ploy to push down your wages and salary plus some of the jobs are dangerous

[@Tustin2121]

“And, if we force all the kids to be straight now, we won’t have to donate to more anti-LGBT organizations later!”

[@Woosaidthat]

@@daviegriffin3539yup! Christianity- the best trigger word to control entire populations. Tell them god said so, and without any self awareness they’ll fall in line.

[@hopeewing5583]

Chick fil a food is so bad. Their chicken has sugar in the batter. The waffle fries are gross

[@Ben_D.]

In my town, we had a huge seagul problem in the harbour. The city officials decided to feed them seed with birth control in it. It took a year to work, but the population dropped dramatically.

[@karenisaacs9201]

Much better than what they do to pigeons, the poor birds are so misunderstood and people are so cruel!!!!

[@terimiller6814]

💯✌🙋🇺🇸💙💙💙

[@VickiStanley-nf4gl]

OMG! Forcing birds to NOT multiply? Pro-life my ass

[@karenisaacs9201]

@@VickiStanley-nf4gl ummm Did you bother to look and see how they’re going to kill them, it’s very inhumane

[@lyndsaybrown8471]

Was there any impact to other birds or wildlife?

[@landonewts]

Chick Fil A, child labor and unrepentant corporate greed seem totally on brand. They are awful.

[@carolakelleski7905]

😮 they couldn't be, they're closed on Sunday cause they're such good christians😂

[@jerseyjoyride1316]

Unlike companies like Nike who actually named a woman's running shoe after the god of r$pe. Or Apple that installed svicide nets around the iPhone factories. Such great companies out there.

[@jpdemer5]

I'm betting that the kiddos are forced into church on Sundays, for some good old-time religious indoctrination.

[@NAKd_life]

third-largest U.S. restaurant chain Blame the consumers.

[@williamdyer3999]

Never been there what is it like ? Actually that place will never get my money !

[@CollinMcLean]

$35 for Chick-Fil-A? For free I could take my Kid to a Union Worker’s strike and show them what worker solidarity looks like…

[@ZombiZohm]

Would they learn any useful skills at that camp

[@CollinMcLean]

​@@ZombiZohm They'd learn about the importance of unions, supporting your fellow worker, and the power of assembly... So definitely more than Chick-Fil-A's "camp"

[@firockfinion3326]

And who funded that study about guns? Because I have a sneaking suspicion that it starts with an "N" and ends with a, "ational Rifle Association".

[@davidlundquist1979]

The North American Rational Rifle Association? ...If only there was such a thing.

[@mammawlee]

Who CARES what size a penis is? It's not the size of the wand, it's the magician behind it.

[@Woosaidthat]

@@davidlundquist1979huh? Moron

[@caronstout354]

With a bought and paid for SCOTUS Justice or two...

[@greghanes5808]

Remember you can't spell national rifle association without ass

[@justrosy5]

Never had Chick-fil-A, never will. That company's ethics have been in the toilet for decades. Remember their stance on Marriage Equality, everyone???

[@secheclare]

Yes.I have 2 gay children and I will never eat there..

[@vladimirenlow4388]

Been boycotting them for years. The company I work at occasionally uses them for catering, and those are the events where I don't eat.

[@adraboranlovesIronman]

I've never eaten Chick-fil-A either! Am determined to never eat there.

[@williamdyer3999]

This company CEO must be friends with trump.

[@kellymoses8566]

Who cares, they make the most delicious chicken in the world.

[@andrewjohnson6716]

I can not express how much I look forward to "Meanwhile"

[@Weyjx]

That's just sad

[@davidlewis8814]

Bandit Spackleshack is the name of my next Halfling Thief…

[@flapjackfae]

Didn't he play Sherlock Holmes?

[@cantbelieveimdoingthis7550]

Two good comments 🎉

[@rachelriesling9112]

Oh my god that’s perfect!! As a D&D player myself I fully approve!!🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

[@caronstout354]

Lead character in the next LOTR knockoff fantasy movie...

[@geoffreypruitt1764]

It's the name of my new bar band.

[@Anna_annika]

2:51 so finally Limburg the pigeon killer town made it to the news in the US. We are appalled that they decided to kill the poor birds. We tried so hard. I am ashamed of Limburg an der Lahn.

[@Chuck-PK]

2:24 You did it America, an IRL Nuka-Cola Quantum!

[@artbargra]

if it had glowing radioisotopes, that would make the _healthiest_ Mountain Dew to date.

[@SEANALPURVIS]

@bethesda make this happen.

[@CrazYo]

Gude, someone here from Limburg... there have been sensible suggestions for dealing with the deaf situation differently for years... unfortunately the city government has repeatedly rejected the whole thing for "cost reasons".. now there has been a referendum in which, with similar competence, how the Brexit vote was voted.

[@nncntblzzrd2427]

Germany forgot about Hitchcock

[@simonalbrecht9435]

I only just realised that English really has two words for „Taube“: pigeon and dove. Crazy language! (German here…)

[@mquietsch6736]

@@simonalbrecht9435As usual: One's anglo-saxon (dove) and one was brought over in 1066 (pigeon). I'm a German myself and did some research to clear up the difference. Pigeons are the normal, everyday city polluters or the ones bred in Kleintierzüchtervereinen, whatever the word for those is in English. Doves are the smaller, wild varieties living in woods and other parts of the world, plus it's used whenever positive emotions come in such as love or peace. It occurs frequently: If you have two words meaning the same thing, find some way of grouping the things in question into two groups and use the two words to differentiate between them. Another example of that is the fact that English has two words for "Kürbis": pumpkin and squash. Biologically more or less the same, but I've seen an English speaker get puzzled when reading a recipe translated from Italian (which also only has got one word for the thing) to English that said "pumpkin" for some variety that was a "squash".

[@venusrise]

He started the rant mentioning Imperial Porphyry, my favorite stone, only found one spot on earth

[@francescaa8331]

Thanks for mentioning it. Took a deep dive into the history of this unique stone.

[@DocVerdant]

And he ended the rant mentioning Grape Shasta, my favorite soda to buy a cold can of outside of a budget supermarket for a couple of quarters

[@laurawillits176]

I too have a favorite type of stone - limestone quarried at Solnhofen, Germany. Any other lithographers out there?

[@speicaldark]

It's not just free child labor. It's actually paying to provide free child labor.

[@user-sv9nb8ky2t]

makes sense, they're a christian business. they're very good at exploiting children

[@jubb1984]

Goes to show how much parents are willing to invest into getting some alone time

[@OscarLangleySoryu]

@@jubb1984$35

[@daviegriffin3539]

@jubb1984 🤔 *Damn good point & take my spouse, too please.* 😂

[@kaladan1890]

that's why it's so genius ! also they should teach them that complaining is wrong and unions are evil cults.

[@AC-bi3bz]

Dear Stephen Colbert, I just want to express my appreciation for your show … especially your introduction to your Meanwhile segment are in a class of its own… cleverly written and expertly presented … Greetings from Germany (and yes, the pidgeon story does give reason for concern 😂) …

[@terimiller6814]

🙋 Germany home of my birth, and my older sister. Wish I could see you again 🇺🇸✌

[@freya8133]

My former state Louisiana has been INCREDIBLY embarrassing lately 🤦‍♀️!!

[@terimiller6814]

I love Louisiana!! I lived in New Orleans when I was hiding from my abusive (now) ex-husband. Everyone was so nice. And the few who knew what was going on were very protective of me! Kindest State I ever lived in. Ex has died of his alcoholism, New Orleans probably saved my life, AND put life back into my life 🙋💙🇺🇸

[@freya8133]

​@@terimiller6814That's where I lived! I'm glad you are doing well now.

[@missg.5940]

Lately? Sorry couldn’t resist.

[@freya8133]

​​@@missg.5940Yeah I know. I meant for the past few years. But the state DID vote for Bill Clinton twice....

[@missg.5940]

@@freya8133 l thought Clinton was arkansas

[@Lara-tx9gw]

Hi, Germany here. No. We're not ok but not because of the pigeons.

[@terimiller6814]

🙋💙🇺🇸✌

[@chrisrj9871]

Speaking as an American, you seem a little more OK than the States, at least. I suppose that's most counties, though, so it's a little bit of a low bar these days.

[@Lara-tx9gw]

@@chrisrj9871 that's indeed kind of a low bar haha but our right wing party/s are becoming more and more popular and it's kinda scary and pretty fucked up.

[@ninadubiosi]

​@@Lara-tx9gwes ist großartig, dass die linke Einheitspartei CDU/CSUSPDFDPDieGrünenDieLinken mut einer starken Opposition zu tun hat, denn das, was hier seit Jahren läuft, DAS ist krank. So verhält es sich im Übrigen auch weltweit. Einzig Ungarn fährt einen gesunden Kurs so far.

[@nicolefoss7913]

America blew up the gas pipeline that your country depended on. It also conned you into a war with your most important supplier. America is not your friend.

[@eiennonakama]

It's kinda nice to hear a joke about Germany that doesn't include Hitler, Bavaria (the other 15 states feel ignored 😢) or the German people's accent.

[@vonpfrentsch]

You nailed it. I´m sick and tired to hear these stereotypes. I hate pigeons. We have far too many in Munich, too.

[@653j521]

You don't hear the implied Hitler in mass murder?

[@vonpfrentsch]

@@653j521 I don´t hear it, I´m deaf when it comes to that topic. 91 years after the seizure of power, 80 years after D-day, the only thing americans (most of them) know about Germany is Hitler, Wiener Schnitzl (comes from Milan) and Frankfurters. The lack of culture (and interest in it) in this country is so blatant that it hurts.

[@gyrene_asea4133]

@@vonpfrentsch Yeah, well maybe. But, no real 'Merrican will ever feel that pain!

[@professional4343]

Seeing so much love here is beautiful. God bless you all!

[@justrosy5]

For the kids out there: that last Mountain Dew flavor is what's known affectionately as a "graveyard." Good times, peeps. Good times!

[@caronstout354]

So last..Nuka Cola exists!

[@Epicgorilla101]

I’m my region we called it a . . . . “Unalive” but you know. . . The real word.

[@toddklempan105]

I remember it being called a suicide

[@Jemsooki]

We used to call it a "garbage coke" or a "$uicide"... I prefer the first one. My nephew used to mix root beer, Gatorade, and lemonade and call it a "Shrek Swamp Special."

[@gus.smedstad]

As kids, we used to mix together all sorts of random stuff and call the resulting gunk "potions." This appears to be the reasoning behind Liberty Chill.

[@heartofdawn2341]

Chik-fil-A summer camp: indentured servitude for children and conservative christian values, all for $35 a pop! Jesus wept.

[@johnqualls5990]

The pigeon thing is German af 😂 we do have a pigeon problem here, but the “you okay?” was spot on 😂😂😂

[@kerrynicholls6683]

Just remove the batteries. It’s not like birds are real… shush.. just trust me. 😊

[@garryferrington811]

In Glendale, California, hawks solved the pigeon problem.

[@linucsx538]

German here: it’s absolutely disgusting how these people voted to kill the birds. Pigeons used to be pets. They were bred to lay many eggs and deliver mail. Pigeons can’t survive without humans. Just like most dogs and cats suffer immensely when abandoned. And we have abandoned pigeons. They’re starving, suffering from anti-bird architecture and are constantly caring for their young. They are sick, injured and on their own. Some towns in Germany have opted to feed the pigeons regularly, they exchange the eggs with fake ones to control the population and build safe dovecotes which are maintained and cared for. That’s the way. That’s the only way to take care of the pigeon population

[@bwenluck9812]

​@@linucsx538 Thanks for speaking up for the birds! People have lost their moral compasses.... Cruelty seems to be the order of the day these days. We are lost and our days are numbered....

[@tobiasmuth2372]

@@garryferrington811 A falconer should also solve the problem in Limburg. Falcons don't just settle in a city.

[@little-wytch]

I can't stand Mt. Dew, but I like how Liberty Chill kinda represents the country... a mix of everything with a side of toxic slop.

[@laurawillits176]

I was thinking that too

[@Totgehoert]

I was born and raised in Limburg and it's quite surreal to see it's been mentioned on American TV 😅 to be fair, even in Germany people wonder what is going on in this town since it just makes the headlines for very outlandish stories 😂

[@stefandeling7367]

It's awesome that news like this made it into US TV.😂 maybe it's because the Overall Level of weirdness regarding Our politics is not (yet) competitive 😂😂

[@TheMAmeph]

The pidgeon-joke hit home here, literally: Just read an article that officials provided a new pidgeon-extermination-plan in my German hometown. It's a different one than Limburg's, though. "We" will install huge pidgeon-housing (for the pidgeons we DON'T want) to lure them in so they nest there. After they lay their eggs, someone will climb in there and exchange the real eggs with false ones (and presumably freeze the real eggs or dispose off them in some humane (?) way). That will slim down the population in the mid to long run. There will still be some pidgeons of course, as not all of them will use the proivded housing. They seemingly just faced the problem of lacking space to build the pidegon-towers or however they call them, and ASKED CITIZENS IF THEY ALLOW THEM TO BUILD THE PIDGEON-VILLAS ON THEIR PRIVATE GROUNDS (please keep in mind, this is a small country and our gardens or backyards usually, if there even is one, are tiny compared to backyards in some parts of the US). "Sure, build a house for dozens of flying rats that will spraypaint my home with their poop, and then here are my keys so you can come any time you like to inspect the egg-situation." I didn't even make that up. That's the way to go for my homies, I'm sure there is a reason for this particular approach to the situation (but none was given in the text I've just read). I guess the guy consulting my home town's polticians wasn't Gunther but Norbert.

[@Mondballer_00]

Das ganze ist mir neu aber gut zu wissen. Witzig, das über eine US-Comedy-Talkshow zu erfahren und nicht über lokale News. Wohne aber auch ein Stückchen weit weg von West-Hessen ;) Cheers

[@gary3074]

You Germans with your extravagant extermination plans 🤷🤷‍♀️

[@ANTheWhizkid]

Das Luftgewehr sagt nein. Pew pew.

[@gr33nDestiny]

I find that pigeon thing upsetting too, I'm from Australia and we cull kangaroos here often, I find that upsetting too for instance. Did you know they make food bait products that can birth control birds? I try to think practical about these thing's but I find it hard when no context is given also.

[@terimiller6814]

🙋🇺🇸💙

[@tystkanin9996]

I like how the label that says "shhh. Just trust us..." also claims that Mountain Dew has 7 grams of protein

[@Deedee_9090]

Of course it doesn’t.😂 The nutrient breakdown is 100 percent carbs from sugar, with 8 ounces of this beverage containing nearly 700 calories.

[@Deedee_9090]

@jamesrowden303Love this explanation! 😂

[@kindabluejazz]

@@Deedee_9090 Not just carbs - also sodium. Oh, and a 12oz can is about 170 calories.

[@krisfischer5153]

Pigeons are intelligent and emotionally intelligent birds and actually very clean ❤

[@Galvamel]

Mountain Dew - Backwash Blast. Do the Huuuurggehh!!!!

[@TheGiggleMasterP]

Some of these Meanwhile rants show a wild level of research. Like how much time did it take for them to find out that in a pinch you can mix drywall and soda (sugar water) to make a sealing paste?

[@Zalzany]

Yeah that study is full of it lol

[@msvonnegutpunch5384]

We read the Infancy Gospel of Thomas in one of my Classics courses in college. That class had to have been at least 16 years ago. I still think about it from time to time. It is a trip.

[@karenisaacs9201]

This is one meanwhile that I wish I could unsee. I saw this segment about the pigeons and it made me sick to my stomach. Pigeons are the most misunderstood birds and they are very sweet and people are freaking cruel. Just leave them alone. It really breaks my heart and I wish I would’ve never heard this and go ahead and make fun of me, I don’t even care for my views on pigeons, I hear it all the time. But I am an animal advocate and it’s really sad what we do to animals

[@terimiller6814]

Ditto 🙋✌

[@user-ow4mu5sg4j]

I agree!

[@karenisaacs9201]

@@terimiller6814 thank you!! I came on here to laugh because I love Steven and then I saw that and I was like OK I’m done. I happen to be a pigeon lover unlike most people so thank you for your comment

[@gretamurphy3704]

I've heard that they are extremely intelligent. Not that it should make a difference, but to some people it does.

[@karenisaacs9201]

@@gretamurphy3704 they are very intelligent and sweet And certainly don’t deserve what mankind does to them. they used to be used as carrier pigeons during the war

[@susiepoadster4642]

Bestest Meanwhile 🎉Intro/Trip Ever at least until next time. Love ya Colbert! 1:45

[@summersendband]

As a German I can say: we are not okay

[@bettyhunder6146]

I live an der lahn 😅 uns gets gut x as long as Russia does not come a calling.😅

[@ordinacijamariomalnar197]

Why do you say that? Not ok??

[@edishdraws]

OooOh shit not again

[@EclipseOverSalem]

​@@edishdrawsyeah.. exactly that. We're not as lost as the US yet but our far right takes inspirational notes from MAGA republicans.

[@johnqualls5990]

Know what you mean.

[@surplus1980]

I guess that makes Liberty Chill the Hot Dog of energy drinks.

[@justincastillogayray]

I bought those Mountain Dew flavors today. This is why I want to be up to date on my monologues.

[@SheyD78]

Gotta love the effort that goes into crafting that intro.

[@veggigoddess]

Stephen's are you okay, Germany, was straight up Jon Stewart level pause and inflection

[@IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS]

Meanwhile, I'm feeding wood pigeons in my front garden in Ireland.

[@terimiller6814]

🙋💙🇺🇸 good on you!!!

[@KathrynTanner-t8f]

I'll bet your neighbors love that!

[@movigold9896]

There's a gift for making people smile. Thank you for sharing it.

[@marques263]

Men don't lie! Just ask all my former girlfriends, who happen to be mostly Victoria's secret models. I'll wait in my one billion dollar yacht while you do that.

[@realityjunky]

2:06 A direct descendant of Steve Martin's "tuna fish sandwich" joke💝

[@dennisaulayrobinson]

"Men lie" No Steve! Say it ain't so!

[@billberg1264]

@@nonya.bizness Exactly what I was thinking. Owning guns makes you more secure about the size of your penis. It might even do this by increasing the size of your penis. More studies are needed.

[@petercolbeysgameshowmania7176]

I don’t. It always makes me feel bad when I lie.

[@glowormrdr6183]

For July 4th, freeze those Mountain Dew flavors into ice cubes and float red, white and blue cubes in gin and tonic. Take that, England.

[@MrVovansim]

Colbert might need a new recurring subsegment about cocaine floating off the coast of Florida, because there was another story about a sea turtle being tangled up in a net that also contained, you guessed it, bricks of cocaine.

[@VladimirPutin-p3t]

Don Jr is hiring turtles now??

[@terimiller6814]

😂😅😂😅🙋💙💙💙🇺🇸

[@JohnDoe-pk2hs]

​@@VladimirPutin-p3t Yeah, but he only pays them five pieces of lettuce an hour with no overtime. You should see the condition of their shells.

[@James-ol6rw]

Steven is a real wordsmith.

[@gyrene_asea4133]

That may be true. But, TLSSC has "writers"! Much fun regardless.

[@ReneeKadlubek-gt9qm]

Well you have an honest professional mostly sane follower who appreciates your work and looks forward to whats mext. Thank you!

[@terimiller6814]

Mext!

[@daviegriffin3539]

*Mext™️* Don't edit, just roll with it & make it Trendy. 🤓

[@yudithcaron8053]

Mountain Dew. Now available in Cherry Red, Transparent Cream Soda, and One-of-Everything-plus-Blue No. 2.

[@revengefrommars]

"Florida Keys" just took on a new meaning.

[@christopherweise438]

Who says America doesn't use the metric system.

[@marieugorek5917]

I mean, the Infancy Gospel of Thomas isn't really new. Scholars have known for a long time that much of the traditional backstory about Jesus, Mary, and Mary's mother that became official church teaching in the middle ages came from that document.

[@MrDeathpilot]

0:42 It's pretty entertaining to watch the close-captioning try to keep up with Stephen here.

[@InABroadwayStateOfMind]

These ‘Meanwhile’ opening monologues never get old

[@scottcarlass8887]

Nice to go out with a banger! Leave me craving more brains brains BRAINS!

[@Fey_Fatale]

Franz Liebkind would be so upset and would save the pigeons!

[@lexslate2476]

Y'know, the reason pigeons do so well in our cities is that they're feral, not wild. Those are the descendants of domesticated animals, meaning that they've got a severely diminished fear response. We just kicked them out when we didn't want them anymore, but because human settlements drive out most of the things that would prey on them, that lack of fear lets them operate more freely in our cities without, y'know, getting them killed constantly as it would in a wild space.

[@ryanconsultingllc3177]

I'm in awe of the writers 👏👏👏

[@BonaKim-hd8ec]

First they came for the pigeons and I did not speak out…

[@TheloniousCube]

50 Flavors that put together make a color? How does THAT work?

[@CybAtSteam]

As someone who grew up in Limburg an der Lahn i can confidently say that this sounds exactly like something the people there would do.

[@LCarefortheworld]

“SHU, just trust us” 🤣 that’s right to the point!

[@AdmiralJaneway74656]

I'm German, and this is the first time I'm hearing of the pigeon killing plan. And to your question. No. No we are not okay

[@zacharybarz9112]

Subway just discovered Taquitos.

[@brandonwirtz2308]

Are we ALL collectively ignoring the horrible things that are bound to occur at this summer camp? Like, have we all forgotten what happens when church meets kids without parents??? I know that chik-fil-a is a business, and is presumably safer, but its a religious business.

[@terimiller6814]

As a retired children's therapist, and summer camp volunteer: ouch!!!

[@daviegriffin3539]

*Good point... but I'm paying to get some "alone time" sooooo, take my spouse, too please.* 😂

[@castonyoung7514]

Abuse at church meetings aren't any more frequent than any other time kids are alone with adults, it's just the rise of atheism has made so much animosity towards the church that it gets blamed for everything.

[@brandonwirtz2308]

@@castonyoung7514 That is blatant gaslighting, and patently false. Your argument is literally "Blame the atheists for the priests molesting the little children." Do you hear yourself? The problem is that the church has become a safe haven for predators, and has been for centuries. When they get caught, the church plays whack a mole with the priests and they end up at new churches in new states or countries where no one knows what theyve done. Just that they come "Highly recommended" from their previous church.

[@benmcelwain5301]

I wish the late show would put up a graphic of whatever Stephen describes in the lead up to meanwhile. While I listened carefully, I have no idea what the thing with marble was.

[@hlcepeda]

Never did I ever imagine that a late-night show host would say "porphyry". 0:51

[@JimmyNuisance]

The whole "men with guns are happier about their penises" statistic is somewhat flawed.. Because I am PRETTY SURE that men with lambos also feel better about their penises.. Because they just bought a massively expensive vehicle to COMPENSATE FOR THEIR INADEQUACIES... If you feel WORSE about your dingdong after stockpiling arms or buying a lambo, that was a bad purchase. Would I feel better about myself if I had a lot of guns? Nah. Would I feel better about myself rolling around in a lambo? Hard to say, but I'm pretty sure I'd be thinking less about my penis when I have something else to play with. The study I want to see is a study of people's confidence before and after they bought weapons. Having access to arms wouldn't do me much because I'm a hardcore fricken badass (..) but for a frail loser, having guns will feel extremely empowering. Of course they would feel less bad about their weaknesses, they have a shotgun to override most of their anxiety.. With anxiety comes a crack in confidence.. You remove that anxiety and you got yourself a sense of confidence that starts building. Scared people feel bad about themselves. Buy a gun, feel less bad. Don't buy a gun though, if you feel bad a lot, that's more likely to be an off switch for yourself during dark times than something that keeps you safe.

[@terimiller6814]

Scary, but true. I'm a woman and never understood men's fascination with penises. Most women are more concerned with the size of your brain, and the depths of your love and commitment.

[@juschu85]

Hi, I'm from Germany. Thanks a lot for asking, but we're actually not okay. Fascists are on the rise again. We really need help. Uhm ... well ... perhaps not help from the USA right now. Could somebody else help? But hey, USA, perhaps we could start a support group together.

[@ZennExile]

1:45 because even Pepsi wouldn't Dew us that dirty...

[@rebeccaelliot6586]

I read that as "Gymboree Gun Foundry." Which is even more accurate.

[@Mgh-r]

Yes... pigeon... it's hard dear Stevie 😂😂😂😂😂

[@noneyabizniss1765]

For a split second when he was describing “marble” at the beginning of the Meanwhile segment I thought he was talking about the kinda marbles I used to play in the dirt with when I was a kid. 😂

[@Mogthrasir1989]

That Mt. Dew Blue flavor has definitely 'Got What Plants Crave'.

[@danielnice1695]

2:39 No way Mountain Dew has 7 grams of protein...

[@Jambalayatrailforce]

Probably from the rats and pigeons they got laying around in the factory 🤔

[@gyrene_asea4133]

Not mere chicken fat, but *Super-Chickent* fat. So, THERE to your protein and NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!

[@tracilynburchett7230]

"... men lie." Said any woman, "ya don't say?"

[@zeroreyortsed3624]

Liberty Chill sounds a lot like Quantum Cola. just a hint of radiation, trust us, it's perfectly safe.😂

[@slackerman9758]

I think subways owners “Doctor’s Associates” should rename to “Undertaker’s Helpers”.

[@likebot.]

Limburg an der Lahm has a solution to "The Pigeon Question". "What did we do when last we had zis situation?" Oh, this won't end well.

[@erikk77]

"This is my rifle, this is my gun. This is for fighting, this is for fun." Full Metal Jacket

[@seanwalsh999]

The Bandit spackled shack of news.

[@TheOldHippiebilly]

Brilliant stuff, y'all. Meanwhile consistently delivers top-tier humor. 😂❤

[@jasonjimerson7046]

When it comes to Mountain Dew... Don't!

[@terimiller6814]

Hahaha Mountain Don't!

[@calsbarn5996]

Come on now! The real stuff (not the sugar free) is a health food drink. Check the label. It contains orange juice. We should all be drinking more of it! (Sarcastic? Me? Nahh never.)

[@thrillsalldayandeveryday]

I love Mountain Dew been drinking it since like 2009 I'm gonna come out in a Mountain Dew commercial soon too

[@dracoargentum9783]

Looks like Crimo-a-Lardo is going without their “extra fix” tonight.

[@rjathar]

Ha. That intro... And his glee at having nailed it

[@dianewilliams1125]

The Official Flag of Florida! 🦅 😂😂😂 I already thought it was! On another note. Why is Chick FIL A camp only opened to kids? And... SAVE THE PIGEONS!🕊🥀

[@Jemsooki]

"Abandoned spackle shack" -!!- awesome! I think I need to start a band.

[@jamesboardman7048]

Actually it's a practice that businesses did for years in England , it's a apprenticeship program, my dad learned how to be a machinest that way , then showing the aptitude, went on to go to night school and became a aircraft engineer, today kids leave highschool no skills, go to some for profit trade school, and still come out with no skills and a mountain of debt

[@thomasconnell1556]

The liberty something or other flavor tastes like the old blue and red ICEE mixed together. Super nostalgic, I recommend it but only once because soda is the devil

[@tinkerstrade3553]

"It's not that I hate pidgins, but bullets and blindfolds, and cigarettes are too much overhead for a single pidgin slaughter." Gunter is reported to have said, according to unnamed sources.🤣

[@rapheAltoid77]

*pigeon

[@usernameredacted5095]

I think I found the Linux user.

[@TheSpiritombsableye]

I remember when mountain Dew S A was a mixture of Voltage, Code Red, and White Out.

[@bettyhunder6146]

😅i am a Brit and I live an the lahn😂watch every day xx

[@sarahwardin7074]

We're most definitely not ok. 😅

[@BarbaraDr2023]

OMG they talk about Limburg's pigeons 😂

[@marco2709djr]

and no stephen, we are not okay!

[@floris-janvandermeulen8054]

Did you start Barbara’s Rabarber Bar….?

[@mistermaestersirthomas9164]

He knew exactly when I would say “yea”?!? Don’t you mean…”

[@infamousElle]

That new Mt. Dew? It's a bottled Graveyard!

[@roselle495]

"Flatbread with pepperoni and cheese that is convenient and handheld" You mean pizza. Subway is selling pizza.

[@gyrene_asea4133]

The Subway rats will do U.S. proud!

[@ersylanellajoy452]

Okay, the beginning of meanwhile is cute the detailed assembly of two vastly different items. Now I would like the Colbert team to also visually assemble on each side of the screen below him what the heck ever he's talking about so we can see the vast difference as well

[@benkrise4489]

Wait, wait wait wait wait… WAIT. Who’s job? Is it to keep track of the pigeon population? Do they do this everywhere? And how do I get that job?

[@samuelparker6529]

That’s a lot of protein for a soda!

[@gretamurphy3704]

They wouldn't lie, would they? 😒

[@VynceMontgomery]

Stephen, if you want your own corrections jackals... easily the most unbelievable thing about the mountain dew story ( @ 2:39 ) is the idea that it would have 7g of protein. I wouldn't give it better than even odds that it has 7g of non-sugar organic matter.

[@williamduffy1227]

"Non-sugar organic matter" 😅 .... dirt... 😂