Hoarding Disorder or Just Collecting? The Differences You Should Know

[@MedCircle]

Watch the rest of this series on hoarding disorder instantly HERE: bit.ly/2LVLrMi

[@minshubay6740]

It's funny how the animal heads collector is viewed more sane than the animal rescuer who, although weren't able to take good care of the animals, has purer intentions than a murderer. Funny how this world works.

[@theotherway1639]

The guided journal "Throw It Away" by Guru Notebooks is helpful. It's on amazon.

[@user-eb1cm4yy3v]

anyone else deal with their parent hoarding throughout their adolescence and DREADED having friends ask to come over?

[@nataliaermak5006]

yes especially tupperwares for s o m e reason

[@LisaGallegos]

YES

[@SeniorAdrian]

Yeeessss impossible to bring a girl.

[@HOLLASOUNDS]

Yes and then I became like her as an adult.

[@user-eb1cm4yy3v]

@@HOLLASOUNDS yep /:

[@Octoberstorm333]

I started at age 9 collecting hello kitty and neatly displaying it. My grandparents hoarded like no tomorrow. My dad is the messiest person. Now that I’m 25 I still collect items that ring a bell. Lucky cats, things with cherries, Halloween stuff, vinyl, clothes. It’s hard when You find everything sentimental.

[@octopusxoctopus]

My mom came from scarcity and poverty in USSR and hoards without admitting to it. She still has clothes from the 80s that she won’t throw away even though it’s not usable anymore. So when I was growing up she bought me everything I wanted and we used to shop as a way to bond. Now I’m 29 and have a compulsion to collect things I enjoy, to the point I don’t enjoy them anymore. It comes with great shame. I try to be a minimalist but fail at it every time. Then it was clothes, makeup, jewelry. Now it’s fragrances. Social media glorifies shopping like influencers. So I don’t hoard as my mom does but I certainly have the mentality of a hoarder.

[@workingdogslog3442]

I’m the opposite. I had lost our stuff and our home so many times as a child I have. A hard time owning physical items in fear I will lose My home and need to move. So I own barley anythjnf. My partner grew up with a hoarder parent and I’d say he hoards. He says he collects. We recently moved in together and it’s a weird dynamic having the two of us under one roof.

[@smockedtop9720]

Thank you MedCircle for this series! I am the child of a hoarder and I have carried so much shame with me throughout my life because of it-glad to know I am not alone (2x the amount of Americans with OCD WOW!). Growing up, I never invited friends over because I was so embarrassed about the condition of my home. I can distinctly remember a time in my childhood when a younger neighbor of mine made a comment about how my home [was], "so messy," and how disgusting and less-than it made me feel. Growing up, I had no control over my environment and I see how it still effects me today. Whenever I go to my parent's home, I am immediately brought back to the chaos, lack of control, and over-whelming nature of my childhood. I constantly see the hoarder of my family getting into full-on screaming arguments with other family members about throwing things out such as expired food (just one small example). It really does effect the entire nuclear family. I do wonder, and was hoping maybe y'all could address this/maybe you will in the upcoming episode, are people with ADHD more inclined to hoarding as well (outside of Social Phobia, Depression, and GAD-all of which the hoarder in my family exhibits)? I was the first one in my family to be diagnosed with ADHD (not until my early 20's), and I am quite certain both my parents have it (undiagnosed) as well. It seems to me that the difficulties organizing and categorizing is very similar in ADHD and hoarding so it made me wonder. Furthermore, what about those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder? The hoarder in my family also suffers from NPD, and the accumulation of material things seems to be along the lines of the core values of both a hoarder and NPD. Also, the fact that most who suffer from NPD do no seek treatment/feel as there is something wrong with their behaviors/core values. However, in thinking more about it, the attachment does not seem to line up because those with NPD are typically emotionally detached.. hmm. Well, all in all, I love the work you all at MedCircle have done, and are continuing to do, and I can't wait for the next video!

[@asmaeabdellah6357]

I thought that kids with ADHD stop their treatment when they became adults!!! Is it possible for someone in their early 20s to be diagnosed with ADHD? I mean did you discover it on your on or was it undiagnosed even tho u had it as a kid??. Your comment is such a good one it's full of information and details.

[@tierrosmith5200]

@@asmaeabdellah6357 ?????

[@dreamer6943]

@@asmaeabdellah6357 I know this is old comments but I'll reply in case you still need the info. ADHD is something a person is born with and will continue to have all their life, it's a physiological difference in the brain and how the brain works. So nobody "grows out of" ADHD although people can sometimes learn to manage it with meds/coping strategies. It's not a "naughty child" thing, it's a neurodiversity. Not everyone with ADHD wants meds (due to side effects) and not everyone feels they need them. Of those who do want/need meds, not all of those people will be able to get the meds prescribed for various reasons (eg cost, beauracracy, docs not understanding the need for meds or not understanding how badly the person's life is affected by ADHD due to "masking" (ie suppressing symptoms/ hiding symptoms from others short term (impossible to maintain long term!) which can make the person appear "fine/well" for the brief time the doc sees them). So yes, if a neurodiverse person isn't diagnosed in childhood it's possible for them to be diagnosed in adulthood. It's also possible for them to go undiagnosed all their life and to believe their struggles are down to a personality flaw (eg not trying hard enough etc) or to suspect there's "something wrong" but not be able to get a doctor to take them seriously and investigate

[@nopseudosleft56]

I love how she is so clear and well spoken, very pleasant to listen to😊and good questions too

[@Bonnie1a]

My father hoards, literally anything he finds by the bins. The shower is full, spare bedroom, dining room, yard. I have tried to help, but he doesn't see it.

[@frenchthot]

theres a facebook group called "adult children of hoarders" i highly recommend..... very supportive community

[@FORBOBLAND]

I have hoarding issues and its super hard to part with my stuff. I also have a certain way of folding my laundry and i want things to clean yet I struggle with organizing and choosing. I also see that im always try to clean yet it has affected my life desperately.I am paralized and need to be out of my place this month.

[@HOLLASOUNDS]

I have collected a substantial amount of Lego and vintage toys but I live in a bedsit and no longer have any room left.

[@daniellemorcom278]

I get my friends to spring clean and clean out stuff I don't need with me every year x it's hard to let go of some items but it helps if someone else does it with me or they can do it without you there if that's easier x

[@sawyerbass4661]

I can absolutely second the problems with information processing and decision making: My mom can't make simple decisions like if she will go shopping or if she will or will not buy items she really wants most of the time. If she decides yes, it's equally problematic as there really is no way to easily stop her for doing what she wants. I absolutely despise her for many decisions beyond those relating to hoarding, but at least I know one or two every day habits she has are a common issue related to the illness.

[@Cathy-xi8cb]

I have known 2 hoarders. One had dementia, and one had a secret hoard. Both intractable. No improvement, no change. Tragic for the family . The filth and personal health issues are huge.

[@daniellemorcom278]

Yep I have an elderly neighbour who has been hoarding rubbish for years even when she was a lot younger l , this has only got worse over the years x she also have washing machines she has to have on all the time day and night until they break and she still uses them until they stop working all together x very bad for hers and everyone living around her x

[@cinthiagoch]

I'm afraid I and my husband might be becoming hoarders, and that it might get worse over the years. We have a cluttered home, and part of it was due to temporary situations, but when these situations passed, we never cleaned the mess, we just reshuffled it to a corner where it wouldn't be so visible. I also have some difficulty throwing things away, but usually it's stuff that's objectively useful (like documents or bills). The problem is, when they're no longer useful, I just let them where they are, I don't go out of my way to throw them away. And that kind of piles up. Eventually, when we have to use the corners of our house where the clutter was being accumulated, we don't clean. Instead, we put the clutter on other corners we don't use as much, like the extra sofa in the living room. During the pandemic, we weren't getting many visitors, but the occasional family members that come visit are left with only the kitchen table and chairs to sit. It's very embarrassing, but I don't feel we have any other place to put those things, again, because the previous corner is being used, but this "excuse" is starting to bother me. I know I use it too often. Also, I kind of hoard links. I don't save them compulsively, and I have very organized files with several categories, but I still have all my favorite links saved since at least 2005, when I started using google chrome in my teen years. I save only things I think are important (or fun) at the time, but I never get rid of things that are no longer useful. And now I wonder if these are really signs of hoarding, because usually the person isn't aware that they have a problem. But every now and then I feel uncomfortable with this habit, and I can see my house for the mess it is in, and it bothers me. So I wonder if I'm just messy and lazy, or if I should look into it before it gets worse.

[@dreamer6943]

You should look into decluttering before it gets any worse. It sounds as if life has overwhelmed you. You can take back control and get organised without turning minimalist. The freedom from negative feelings dragging you down and the relief you'll experience at being able to use your home properly will make the effort to tackle this worthwhile. Even if you go to those messy areas an commit to picking up one item per day, deciding how best to dispose of it *and then instantly doing that* (very important to take action and not just think about it) you'll gradually see a difference. Lots of people don't tackle clutter because it feels overwhelming to start, but doing only one item per day makes it easier. Good luck

[@mrandersson2009]

Even the comment is cluttered with characters. Just throw your useless stuff away

[@traceytansley1659]

Yes, look into it before it worsens. If you can't use the spaces as they were intended and can't bring yourself to throw these things away, hoarding is present.

[@cinthiagoch]

Thanks for those that worried and responded. Back when I wrote the original comment I was starting to get depressed. Now I'm in therapy and taking meds. Although I'm not completely better yet, we got rid of the clutter, so there's that at least.

[@ahuddleston6512]

My mom is a big time hoarder. She still has computers from the 80's. She " collects" duck figurines, clowns, beer mugs, bells, cat, dog figurines, any 'limited edition' Avon products, baseball caps found on the side of the road. I could go on and on and on. I'd need a few dump trucks to clear everything out.

[@gianinepreuss9999]

you could remove all that and in no time, she will re-load her house full of more clutter. She may not "see" what you or others see.

[@ahuddleston6512]

@@gianinepreuss9999 So true. To make things worse we have a Give and Take at our local dumpster. she'd probably end up with more than she started off with.

[@ThatGmoney]

Not trying to laugh but damn... it’s so sad to hear but reading the comments I can’t help but burst out laughing.

[@areyoukei]

But tbh those 80s computers are quite valuable to be kept

[@rendonclarkson7644]

can relate. it's so stressful for other family members like us

[@borealiswan2363]

Really interesting to hear a professional acknowledgment of this as a disorder. When I discovered a long lost friend was like this, I became very alarmed and left her house instead of staying with her for a month as intended. What about the opposite ? People who have to throw stuff out all the time, kind of extreme minimalists, can't stand having a useless item in the house ?

[@karolyn63]

I believe the tendency of getting rid of stuff is connected to neurosis (control mechanism)

[@borealiswan2363]

@@karolyn63 Sounds about right. Lack of control (hoarder) versus excess control (extreme minimalist)

[@elizabethr4107]

Yes my sister is like this to the point of not being able to have a spare roll of paper towels or more than one ring or lipstick. I'd love some insight on this.

[@karolyn63]

@@elizabethr4107 as the daughter of a hording mother I have developed in the other direction.. strong tendency to keep in charge of my stuff..whenever I am facing difficulties I tend to get rid off stuff.. It is a coping mechanism.. Life is not under our control, so we try to micromanage aspects of it. Simply put, having had a mother, who lost track... felt scary to me.. Actually after she died, she left a huge mess. I was the one taking care of it. It was overwhelming and I never wanted to end up in the same road..

[@bcvids9]

@@borealiswan2363 I disagree. Hoarding is All about control. As is extreme minimalism. Just different sides of the same coin imho

[@EHD351]

My Mother grew up dirt poor, in a good family. After she and my father got wealthy, she went crazy getting all the things she never had.

[@freden9234]

My husband suffers from this, but he absolutely denies it. The only reason our house isn’t packed to the rafters is that I insist on keeping common areas clean. So…the basement, garage, shed, den and spare bedroom are stuffed with motorcycles, paints, wood scraps, kids toys, plastic bags, broken furniture, metal parts, tools, books, old dishes, etc, etc,etc. It has contributed to the breakdown of our marriage, but I can’t stand the thought of leaving him to live in a filthy hoard (he is 80). This disorder not only affects the hoarder, but causes immense pain to family members.

[@jamesr1703]

I thought that hoarding was a survival mechanism as a result of trauma. The objects provide a sense of security.

[@DD-d6d3]

No, studies show trauma is just an excuse to indulge in hoarding

[@Pfsif]

Some survivors of Narcissist parents claim they (parents) were hoarders.

[@smockedtop9720]

I have this experience, and I'm very intrigued about the connection now after watching this video!

[@sonnyca]

Yes, my narcissistic father is a hoarder but my mother is not, so their house stays mostly clutter free.

[@frenchthot]

I do!

[@robinlillian9471]

Calling someone a "hoarder" is mostly just a new way of being insulting. So is calling your parents "narcissistic" just because they have lives of their own, too. "Every generation blames the one before for all of their frustrations." The Living Years kzbin.info/www/bejne/a5nVZ2eDrb6jnc0

[@thecoldglassofwatershow]

Do you think the survivor children of Narc parents can turn into hoarders, as well?

[@CarolinaMartinez-hc1if]

I hoard containers for storage, but all I have in the containers is smaller containers

[@jasons8479]

Oh wow. I thought I was the only one! At least I try to limit them to containers I find to be beautifully designed. Would be better if I actually made them useful and stored something besides other containers in them! That way all their beauty could be out on display.

[@hope46sf]

Thank you both!! This is very enlightening!

[@ArtByHazel]

Knowing the difference between the two is freedom. I let go of a lot of things I collected along the way. Next would be books and journals. 🙏🏼

[@2moodymoon]

It's frustrating when hoarder (parent of mine) claims not being one and then brings clutter in my house with labeling it as a gift or something fun for children. Last time I moved out from big apartment and saw all stuff coming out I was just thinking "haven't had money to buy all this nor had I picked it up myself to bring home... What happened?!" And lightbulb went on! Why haven't I said something or put it away earlier? 🤦‍♀️ As mental health treatment started to work clutter went flying out and stood my ground about others pushing stuff in. Clutter free home is calming beyond words nowadays. 💪🥰

[@paulfitzgerald4933]

Hey KN, yeah my dad plays that game. He hoarded a few boxes of clothes from my brother's kid, and claimed he was going to give them away. Then one day I lived in a house near this poor family and they had two kids. I moved from there and he later obsessed that he wanted me to call the school and find out who they were so we can get the clothes to them. ok, that's tacky enough, but a about 2 years had gone by and the clothes wouldn't have even fit them. Another year later i gave them to someone with a young kid that they could fit. He freaked still intent on giving them to the kids he intended even though they'd have far outgrown the clothes. Why? Because he didn't want to let the clothes go at all. Which I actually find it creepy to want / need to hang on to another person's clothing. We threw out my moms old clothes after she passed, but He has my cousin's clothes who stayed at our house for rehab and then got back on drugs and moved out of state. He still thinks he'll hold onto these until she needs them. Instead of 1) give them to her mom, 2) ask for an address and ship them. I tried to donate these and he flipped his lid, which to me is just extra creepy / weirdo. Note: that's the ONLY time he wanted to give something away. The rest of the time it's been someone might need it one day. He's never donated anything to goodwill, salvation army etc. He's never actually known anyone poor enough to need anything. And I had a friend who lived in the shelter and he didn't say "can I send some things up with you?" The excuse (and it's just an excuse) is really just a cover story and they never intend to get rid of it. I also find it totally unforgivable for dad to lie and say that. They're not human. They turn into these machines that are programmed to protect their things and have no real connection to others. So I see him as a machine / robot that runs his program to protect his worthless things while in between tasks presenting with a few emotional needs that I can't cater to as the machine truly can't feel emotions.

[@2moodymoon]

@@paulfitzgerald4933 , oh wow, sounds creepy indeed 😬

[@paulbreen8533]

My best friend developed hoarding in his 30s after a painful relationship experience with a wealthy woman. He began collecting bits of metal he found around the neighbourhood thinking it may have some value. After a while, it was up to the ceiling with bits of metal. He knew it was a disorder, he had a degree in psychology. He used to ask us over every know and then for a "clearout" but we had to check every item with him before we threw it out and most of the time he decided he'd better hang on to that item. He took his own life a few years ago, it was not specifically because of the hoarding but it certainly added to his misery. He was a wonderful, witty, compassionate person always looking for an opportunity to do someone else a good turn. He helped me a lot with practical things in my life.

[@matej1987]

I've been facing this for the last 20 years. I have to clean up my mother's and aunt's mess. My aunt is also an alcoholic. Her house is already full of garbage, cats, rats… She doesn't even take care of the garden. She just bringing spoiled food into the garden because it doesn't fit in the dresser anymore. When I tell them they have a problem, they get aggressive. It's terrible. Interestingly, my mom sees the problem her sister has but doesn't see it in herself. She has also strong Tourette and/or OCD… I observe the tendencies in myself and now, after hard breaking up with a girl with borderline personality disorder, it's getting worse. I probably also have some form of social phobia, anxiety disorder or PTSD. My father, on the other hand, is overly orderly and has narcissistic disorder (that is probably reason why I was with borderline girl). I think there is a lack of knowledge among the general public about these issues. So THANK YOU for your work. At least I finally know the name of the problem and it will help me look for a solution.

[@traceytansley1659]

We dont often use our garages for our cars because todays' homes are built tightly and there is no space for sheds, therefore bicycles, lawn mowers, snow blowers, shovels, rakes, tools, gardening implements, garbage cans and recycling bins etc. all must now be stored in the garage and there is no longer room for a car.

[@vmobile890]

That is so correct and by design . Personal opinion a 2 or 3 bedroom house put on a lot half the size today selling for double the price of 10 to 15 years ago will bring in double property taxes .

[@ncr4007]

I think the digital one isn’t that bad. I mean come how many of us have digital books that we’ve read once or twice then started reading again and didn’t have time to finish. I don’t know if these guys read comments but she could have said someone who collects something Disney. I have a Disney collection old items. A lot of kids collect Disney items.

[@cheezy_tater]

I felt so frustrated watching this, because, please hear me out, I have what I feel is too much clutter/disorganization, but what I want to keep, I want displayed and have the space once I can clear out the other stuff, but I have ADHD and therefore struggle both with executive function and organizational skills. Now, diagnotically, I would probably be labled a mild hoarder, but if I had the money to pay an organizer to help me get started, magically I wouldnt be- like people can essentially buy their way out of a diagnosis/stigma. A luxury only afforded the few.

[@sharonthompson672]

My peep! 😆👍 And you know what? I paid for a professional organizer to come to my house (we'd had relatives die AND combined four households in less than two years) We spent the whole time chatting and got nothing done. 🤦

[@vmobile890]

Possible a plan schedule and log of progress . The plan of clear out other stuff is positive place to start . If anything you might need at a later date but don’t want to forget a digital photo in a album on a device would help .

[@alyssa09485]

I hope this series gets continued!! I also wish you'll look into the connection between OCD and Tourette's soon, like the repetitive tics and behaviors. That'd be super helpful lol

[@vallybaskar]

Okay, I’m somewhere between a collector and a hoarder, cos it gets a bit overwhelming for me as much as it gives me pleasure to have my variety of options for my stuff 🧐

[@Skitdora2010]

Organize it someway, then when you find you have doubles you can sell or donate your extra. Also, you will know what you have and not buy the double in the first place. My mom is a major hoarder and it is really hard for her to see she has a problem, even when she has 3 copies of the same dvd right next to each other on a shelf, so I think you seeing an issue means you are in control still and not the habit.

[@vallybaskar]

@@Skitdora2010 I'm very organized so I don't see it as a problem yet...I don't have copies of the same thing yet too...yeah as you said it's not a habit yet...I'm in control and I realise I have a problem too..so it's not too bad 😌

[@HOLLASOUNDS]

I spent about 8 years collecting stuff from Wedgewood and stone objects to Lego and vintage toy cars but now I have walls of boxes of the stuff and My homes not big enough for it and there for My home is a mess. I cant give away the stuff free because I spent money on it so I got to sell it but finding the time to list all the stuff on Ebay pack it and send it off is not happening.

[@ibrudejude]

I waz alwaz organized very OCD... My hoarding started in 2004... Since then I have created a mess in my life... Now this life that I created has made me sick...

[@joanhill5047]

I understand your frustration.. I can't explain mine

[@robinlillian9471]

So now saving too many electronic bookmarks makes you a hoarder?! Absurd. How is that ever going to interfere with activities of daily living or be a fire/health hazard? It can't.

[@iAmCodeMonkey]

How many is too many I wonder?

[@deborahklinlger8565]

Hoarding disorder runs in my dad's side of the family. My now ex husband is hoarding & I feel so sad for him & it's getting worse for him. I feel helpless to help him. We have 2 adult children together & I worry about the effect it has on them & him even though we aren't civil . He's 5 years older than myself. He values his stuff & doesn't see how he is sick with hoarding (is in denial). I'm troubled.

[@wchiwinky]

Thank You Kyle and Dr Yip! Very informative info on hoarding.. I get anxiety when my house accumulates too much stuff, which seems to happen without realizing...until I have to get rid of stuff, every year at least once or twice...I do seem to collect rocks though! They are everywhere : house, car, yard, purse! =D I have to comment that those shoes of Jenny's are wikid nice!

[@bananarama480]

The animal head collector's life may not has his life negatively impacted from his collection, but the animals the heads once belonged to surely have.

[@ibrudejude]

Being with someone that controls what you buy,have,want or need after your married... My husband went thru my personal stuff..like my diplomas my writings my cap&gown from graduation... My Late Grandma's brass anything that had nothing to do with him...

[@vickithornley5056]

That's sad. He shouldn't be going through your personal items. You are not his personal property. 😢

[@paulfitzgerald4933]

Narcissists think everything is theirs and you're an extension of him. They also think they're a genius and everyone else is not. My dad would pack up our winter clothes and tuck it somewhere in the house and by winter I was outside with denim jeans with holes, sneakers and no gloves. totally unforgivable. In fact when you really look at the sheer gull it takes for them to treat others the way they do, and realize it's a choice, you totally emotionally detach and feel nothing. My brother wore sports clothes that dad knew weren't his. Anything of mine that would fit him he felt was shared or also his. So when he'd hide my stuff, maybe intentionally subconsciously, he believed he was hiding his stuff. Much of my clothes went offsite to a storage facility that he lost for nonpayment years later. Dad had a stroke a at 83, 84 years old now, I thought this was my chance to start tossing stuff out, but he recovered. I honestly couldn't bring myself to even consider how he'd be impacted or feel. That's because they only feel for themselves. Meaning... No matter how tragic post stroke recovery could have become, he'd still feel like the victim with no greater level of suffering status as he already felt in his day to day life that led to his hoarding. So I assessed this and realized if he won't feel a change in official status, I can't feel bad for him. After all he's always been the victim of everything already. Thus there's no way to gauge a "new" level of suffering if he's already 99% life's downtrodden victim.

[@amberallen4181]

I think my husband is a hoarder and I am OCD. My husband says hes a collector however he doesn't maintain his collection. His collection has taken over the bedroom floor and every shelf in the living room. Once I cleaned his shelves and It looked neat and functional he went out and bought something and filled the space I just cleaned. So I no longer clean his space. Some of his items are valuable but some are just toys or memorabilia. For me if things are unorganized I feel anxiety, if I can't clean then I get depressed.

[@AWISECROW]

Who else has 35+ tabs open on their phone web browser intending to get to them when they have time? I have other tabs open in other web browsers and devices too 😅

[@paulfitzgerald4933]

I have this "organization" argument with my dad all the time. He physically can't cognitively have a specific location for anything to be removed from and replaced to. He has hundreds of tools and they're scattered between a small shop bench and corner space in the laundry room, and the trunks of 2 cars and a van. The problem I have is when he borrows something of mine, and does so without asking, it's gone and the search begins, which I have to make him, at 84 embark on, trying to dig through all his stuff to find where the item I need has been tucked away to. This hoarding isn't new, that's why I don't have any guilt having him go find things. He also has undiagnosed DPD, Narcissism, hoarding (all drawers are filled with clutter) and will get angry the moment I bring up some of this stuff needs to go. In fact I have to have my brother come over if things need to be thrown out as dad would try to play my brother against me, so if he sees we're in phase he just takes the trauma and shuts up. When we moved out of the old house dad had been sick and we couldn't get everything moved, this meant the 18 foot garage that was piled 6 feet high with stuff had to be left behind for the landlord to empty. Other incidents involve him having 3 storage units that were packed full and after lapse of payment lost everything. Interesting to note all his stories focus on his childhood, some young adulthood, but much of his trauma of loss that he tells stories of are when he was younger than maybe 12. This is why we can't just tell him to start acting normal as his emotional injury has manifested so much that he kept everything he could get. His stories: 1) He sold water at a baseball game from the well, bent over to get more water to sell and the change he earned fell into the well. He didn't sell water again. 2) the general store owner offered to take all the bottles my dad was saving to return (for deposit) and the man had him load the truck at 8 or 9 years old and then gave him only 2 pennies instead of the return value. His dad watched that transaction and didn't tell the general store owner to cough up the rest. 3) he left out a comic book and his mother threw it out when cleaning. 4) He had cap guns that he tucked away in a hole in the ceiling from Christmas. Come summer when he went to look for them they were gone. 5) His brother moved away in in their both mid 20's with my dad's shotgun he got at 12. His whole life has been a brace for all the losses and never truly connected to us as individuals. It's always been about him. And he'll get very irate and threatening if he senses one is trying to get rid of his things. One time I cleaned out the cabinets and threw out all the expired food. It was AWESOME, the shelf was neat, everything could be seen, you knew what you had, grab and go, no digging. He said "It feels like I'm poor again." So for those wondering about hoarders, if you look into it you'll find there's clues about how much they've been hurt from the loss of something.

[@crina193]

I hoard books and i struggle to keep my papers in order...but it s smth i picked up from my family as well. And my son has a hard time letting go of toys he doesn t use. And i think even not organising things, having them lie around, without buying too much stuff is a component of hoarding. I built my house intentionally without a garage or attic or basement.

[@powpunkonwhiskey6377]

My father in law is a massive hoarder. What's ironic is that he has no issue throwing away relationships with the little family he has left bit he daren't throw away a magazine or whatever other junk he's accumulated over the years. He can't relate to people, only things. I would say (although I'm not qualified) that he is a covert narc or at least highly traited imo. My husband was diagnosed with malnutrition as a child as money was tight and yet FIL would come home from work having spent what money they had on duplicate Rupert the bear yearly annuals for example. Toy cars and actual cars is another example. They couldn't afford to eat but they could find the money for this pointless stuff. It must have been totally infuriating for my MIL.

[@frenchthot]

i was about to say after reading the first line, he sounds like a narcissist!

[@paulfitzgerald4933]

That's narcissism, and your FIL clearly had some serious emotional loss. I've also become an expert at saying things that drive a wedge between me and the narcissist. One being "It's like God knew you'd treat everyone like this and gave you a bad childhood to punish you first." not saying to say that, but you get the idea. The point being is the one thing they can't shake is the suffering of their youth, and when you make it an open mockery and one you clearly can't car about, it makes them never reach out for help or at least when they do feel you could rip open that wound again anytime you want. So they're so much more respectful and watch how they cross you. I have to say little cutting things to keep dad at bay or else his narcissism leads him to think he can make any demands, judgements, criticisms, and express irrational needs. It sounds cruel but I have mapped it out like a spreadsheet to figure how long before dad's demanding, clingy and arrogance returns, and have to trickle things that make a new wall from time to time. So if your husband is still dealing with criticism, judgement and trying to find validation which turns into being abused, he my need to realize you need to go no contact. sadly I live with my dad to make sure he's ok. If he had roommates, his abusiveness would get him jailed or injured. but that's also my not responsibility so I'm planning to le him take his chances next year with others and I'm out. If your husband was diagnosed with malnutrition that's a sign his dad truly has an spiteful streak.

[@FreindOfBears]

Hoardings happens to people who refuse to let go of the past. The objects they hold on to have memories attached to them. People stuck in the past are spiritually dead. Their homes aren’t homes, but instead resemble tombs, complete with the smell of mold, rot and decay. This is a cultural problem stemming from materialism.

[@enochbrown8178]

Wow, this is great info. Thank you very much!!!

[@FrancesShear]

The worst case of hoarding disorder I have ever seen was of a man living alone on an acerage with several pet dogs of different breeds, more than one building on his property with clutter in his yard all around while complaining to anyone who would bother to listen about why he 'had to' leave his ex-wife because he hated her foreign cuisine cooking while having to cope with step parenting of her child from a previous marriage too. How in the world he managed to gain sympathy through those kinds of complaints I could not explain to myself or anyone else. Could you please explain why he and others like him never get diagnosed with hoarding disorder or for that matter anything else?

[@mel-tp5hi]

Great video, I wish there was help for me to stop my digital hoarding, it's consuming a lot of my life.

[@submarine1090]

Why are all the doctors always dressed so nice in your videos 😍

[@matej1987]

Both of them. Even their studio is very clean and nice… and notice that lovely dog.. :)

[@arianapetrova90]

This is a problem in my family There’s an unused screen and old scratcher for kitten Lots of bottles Stuff everywhere and even though they’re neat and I can walk around the tables are full like she said. I have to constantly clean it and it’s tiring me out

[@jasons8479]

_Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful._ - *Wiliam Morris* English craftsman, 1880 Of course this does not mean that you have to keep everything you find beautiful or useful! Quality over quantity. Less is more.

[@Skitdora2010]

Hoarding is such a subjective thing. According to this woman, your digital mp3 collection you listen to is hoarding, where you might actually play through it on a regular basis. Also, if you are an artist or have a hobby people will see your tools and claim you are hoarding when you have precisely what you need to do the job. Like when you buy furniture in a box and exclaim "that is a lot of fasteners", but when fully assembled you find you had needed all of those screws after all. True hoarding is when, like she said, you can no longer use that space and it is stuff never needed- like random newspapers or your clothes from high school when you were a size 2 and now you are size 15, but also the clothes are ripped, torn, or stained, and yet you kept them. The good motto is, "when did you use it last?" and "when will you use it next?", and if the answer is hard to come up with, you have an issue with it and maybe should get rid of it.

[@elkekremerRAWR]

I have this disorder I am currently hoarding empty cigarette packets & lighters as well as free brochures. The excuse since I was 5 years old has always been "collaging". I've made very few collages for 20 years of accumulation.

[@JemDreamz]

I love the topic of hoarding.

[@proverbsgal]

My father whos dad died 10 years ago still keeps his files in another room, closets are cluttered but the family doesnt think thats hoarding.

[@ChivalricKennels]

I have 2 sons that are hoarders. The difficulty making decisions is true, but there is a controlling aspect to it, that you will live with garbage stuffed in your bathroom cabinets, and there will be food and garbage all over their bedroom, and you have to live with it. I take comfort knowing in 9 months the younger of the 2 will be turning 18, and the two will be leaving, and will have a clean house again and no weird surprises, like a pile of wet women's clothes taken from the local laundry mat and stuffed in the bathroom cabinets. They literally sneak things in in their backpacks...I'm relieved it will be over soon.

[@everydaypeople4855]

How can someone be cured from hoarding?

[@colorscapeexpressionsart]

Hoarding is when they cannot let the items go even with help

[@stevendedeian7774]

I hve about 15 guitars, 4 large amps,...and can get another one tomorrow...also being a vet, I have several firearms and weapons of war.....of which can ALL be replaced if I elected to sell any of this stuff.......the real issue is how much can you really get in return for all the garbage you store?...lol....I can defend myself and loved ones, with ONE single firearm...not 20.....plus I can play ONE guitar at a time, thru an amp, or without one...so, again all this crap, can be replaced, at any time...unless I collected any of this crap for increased value, which usually is not the case....lol...what a world we live in...lol

[@theropesofrenovation9352]

Amen!!!!!

[@altaroberts5105]

I know a hoarder who as everything neatly packed in plastic bins. It's hoardingvas she can't be parted from the stuff.

[@zaine1384]

my mother. has a shoe, and clothes hoarding disorder and shes in complete denial and gets defensive when i talk about it. its to the point where she has taken up the whole bathroom closet with consists on 3 walls, and some of my closet, and the giant closet next ot the computer room...

[@lindahockham5081]

Did the Great Depression cause an increase of hoarding disorder? We hear about people keeping things like short pieces of string etc., that they may need one day.

[@someguynamedvictor]

Those are people who actually appreciated and intented to use those items for useful purposes. What hoarders do is collect things that even could be useful or purposeful, excpet they keep the things either in such disarray that the item could never be found in any convenient way when called on to solve those obscure uses the person has contrived in their mind OR they items have been kept is such terrible condition that even if they are easily gotten to they are past their proper use and are essentially trash. The people you are talking about kept the string with the string, the screws with the screws and kept it all in a semi-logical arrangement because its ALL THEY HAD. Hoarders know they can just get more and more and more and more. All while keeping it in a dysfunctional manner.

[@DD-d6d3]

No.

[@Skitdora2010]

Even the survivors of the depression knew to throw out bulging cans that had potential botulism. Todays hoarders would be reluctant to even throw out that can.

[@elizabethcreated9263]

In my opinion yes, i have known two people who have had these tendencies after surviving the great depression. One hoarded boxes just in case along with many others things, and my family member has done the expired food as well as many other things. Ive often thought that time they lived through impacted the saving of unnessesary things.

[@SandraHof]

Both of my parents went throught the Great Depression. But only my mom became a hoarder. So I am not a huge fan of this theory. My mom was also later diagnosed with two mental illnesses.

[@skzoteight0325]

I come here after thinking "why do i always have that desire to pile up information or content so that i could immediately do a flip through or feel satisfied that im learning/collecting so much...but im not actually absorbing the information, im not synthesizing or making use of them beyond collecting them..." fck. This is gonna be another bullet point on my list of "whats wrong with me" 🤐

[@sherrydee7880]

I have a book and paper hoarding issue that I am aware of, yet the only thing I have been able to do is to put the books in boxes and stack them out in the garage. They are out of the house, yet never out of my life. I honestly think that the only way I will ever be able to let them go is to haul them out into the backyard after fire season is over and burn them in my fire pit one by one! They all have my name and birthdate written in them. I don't want to give them away.

[@Travestie616]

That could be a really cathartic thing to do with a lawn chair and your favorite drink. Take out as many boxes as possible and stack them around, then put on some relaxing music and make a day of it. Maybe toast some marshmallows as well! As many positive things as possible to offset any negative feelings. Good luck, I hope you can push through and make it happen :)

[@sherrydee7880]

@@Travestie616 LOL...Thanks for not trying to talk me out of it, as so many other people have done. I think my negative feelings come from the guilt of burning books. Perhaps a leftover from my school days when we learned about Hitler? Who knows. I like the idea of making it a SPECIAL CELEBRATION DAY! :0) Thanks Again!

[@sandyg3772]

@@sherrydee7880 Or you could donate them to your local library guild. That's where I take my mom's finished books for her. It's also a tax write-off, if you itemize your taxes. Tell yourself that the books are going to a needy home where they can't afford full-priced books. Positive karma.

[@frenchthot]

burn them !!!

[@nataliebutler]

If you have space for bookshelves there's nothing wrong with having a home library.

[@treppacoles8856]

8:41 Behaviors attached to hoarders. 12:28.

[@vincentmajerowicz9507]

I love that lady in this video!

[@gabriellewarburton7961]

My mum always did a big clean out and I just cant let it go

[@theotherway1639]

The guided journal "Throw It Away" by Guru Notebooks is helpful. It's on amazon.

[@melomaniac741]

What is the difference between this and OCPD?

[@caramccormack5566]

Our housemate is a hoarder...he lives in the basement. He uses the excuse of having ADHD to not have to clean up. We rent and all the main utilities are in the basement...water heater, furnace, main water shut off, washing machine. So if anything goes wrong or when they have to turn on/off the water valve for the sprinkler system, they have to walk into his space. We are not only embarrassed but terrified the property manager and owner will find out the state of the basement and evict us. We try everything to get him to organize and clean. In 3 days the sprinkler guy is coming to turn off the sprinklers....Our housemate has taken a week off to clean. I was just down there and this is day 5 of 7 and almost nothing has been done. Piles of laundry, piles of old mail, piles of wrappers, soda bottles, paper plates, piles of books...and filthy. The bathroom is terrifying...old TP rolls on the floor, hairs, mold, pee on the toilet.... Despite all this my husband and I really like our housemate, but we have had it with the hoarding. It's a health risk, fire risk, risks our lease, pest risk. Nothing we do or say helps....We offer to help, he freaks out. We've been friends for over 20 years....What do we do???? Help!!!! He has a therapist....but I'm not sure she is aware of this problem.

[@ramcharge2704]

Hording shit tons and tons and tons of stuff. I've heard someone say you have to think about the time you work to get those things and you should save them because of all the time you put into it to save it. You can't take it when you go

[@Contessa998]

My neighbor is a hoarder it’s really sad she is a fire hazard and environmental hazard To our townhome complex

[@paesitopaez4302]

Goddamn. I am obsessive-perfectionistic, so I tend to have everything in order and obsess with having nothing more than what I need.... except for my phone and computer storage. I have hundreds and even thousands of movies and articles that I say I would love to revisit or check for the first time, but because I have so much stuff, I tend to struggle a lot with making decisions I think

[@wheredidjaniego8329]

Oh, expletive deleted. long story short, I will probably never see those exact kinds of radios again and no I'm not a hoarder I'm a collector and yes they all still worked when they were gotten rid of because I listen to somebody who didn't know what they were talking about as usual as I learned later in life. That's how I learn things, later in life. The same thing with my heavy metal tapes and records. Multiple expletives deleted.

[@FrancesShear]

Haording disorder or only a person being forced to not only keep moving from one location to another while people often leave stuff on their property and while often being given things from people who want to be seen as charitable? Like being given another animal head trophy to you for mother's day while the person giving it to you is choosing the place for you to put it up so that it hangs over your small dining room table [That did actually happened to me once] or a spray paint motor left in your yard, things you would never dream of owning like a lewd kind of party game kit being left behind in your garage during renovations there on your property while it is inhabitable, your siblings all voting for you to be delivered all of the possesions of a relative who just died, etc. etc. etc.. There is a huge difference. For example someone conscientious who is into buying more and more pieces of real estate to use too as another storage facility for themselves while renting out part of it out too while being motivated most in trying to keep themselves and their family still looking good to their friends during social events after hiring a secretary or more to help them keep track of it all while doing hoarding at home too that includes keeping lots of different choices of the same 'recreational' drugs in their cupboard who never get diagnosed with hoarding disorder themselves and who could never be convinced that they are not hoarding because of the size of their portfolio according to them is definite proof that they do not need any kind of mental health help could still have hoarding disorder too if they are less happy than the average person with all that stuff. What about people who with their fleet of real estate company drones look for people to collect for putting them into an institution while doing insider real estate trading of properties already cluttered in the back yards before anyone moves in their next too? What about them too?

[@CornvilleCorrections]

I've read this comments a few times and I am still not fully grasping the point you are trying to make. Perhaps I'm missing something?

[@icanletgo-recoveryfromhoar537]

1:30 - Not necessarily true. I struggle with hoarding issues & desperately want to change. Absolutely not egosyntonic. I know many others who also struggle with hoarding & are looking to change. Unfortunately, the standard treatment for Hoarding Disorder -- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy -- is not very effective.

[@nataliebutler]

Exposure therapy in combination is apparently more successful. That means you get rid of something and feel what comes up and keep doing it until you're better at handling it.

[@icanletgo-recoveryfromhoar537]

@@nataliebutler I've tried Exposure therapy as well. Felt traumatizing and did not address the root cause of my hoarding. Internal Family Systems therapy has been far more helpful for me 🙏

[@jenbulger4645]

Hi Dr Yip! I stumbled across this video by accident. It was great, thanks!!

[@someonesomewhere2316]

I think i have psychosis. Sometimes I look at the ceiling or a painting or the table and occasionally they'll all move as if im on acid.

[@jhh2001]

What happened to children shouldn't be diagnosed?

[@ahc1957]

My grandson doesn’t even want his broken tablet replaced. He was about 3 or 4 and he knew what toys he had. He would go almost crazy looking for a specific car when he has a box full of others.

[@dekar820]

I’m a bit confused. She said that hoarders aren’t aware that it’s a problem. He asks her if she has had hoarding symptoms. She said no. Well wouldn’t she be unaware if she did?

[@icanletgo-recoveryfromhoar537]

I struggle with hoarding issues. I'm very much aware it's a problem & desperately want to change. I know many others who also struggle with hoarding & are looking to change. Unfortunately, the standard treatment for Hoarding Disorder -- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy -- is not very effective.

[@matej1987]

@@icanletgo-recoveryfromhoar537 Supposedly, it could be better EMDR, Trauma therapy or Attachment based therapy

[@andre1987eph]

Another video that should have a 4x speed olayback option

[@mrdavid5771]

Can you tell how hoarding can be treated

[@djnolan00000]

A therapist would be needed to give the tools to cope

[@Skitdora2010]

I think you should try watching the tv shows. One version would go over the root cause, the void the hoard is suppose to fill, and after identifying it, trying to remedy the void with the right coping mechanisms or new support system- usually the new support came from whatever relative called the show.

[@harmonizedigital.]

Is needing more and more money like Besos a hoarding disorder?

[@mrandersson2009]

Clearly

[@androidandroid5279]

Collecting vintage things like watches radios it is a hoard disorder ?

[@gijose83]

I feel like this will increase with the ageing population

[@kingbehemoth7821]

I know a thrift store collector. It’s house is so narrow that I almost can’t get through to the bathroom. Yes it is organized but all of the bedrooms are full to the points. Then this person gets kind of narsissistic when it comes to my things. I’ve tried to discus with this person about the problem but then this person says “Well what about all your stuff”. NARSISSIST!

[@katwin3709]

I think I might be a hoarder. I wonder what can I do about it?

[@frenchthot]

Congratulations for admitting it!! There's a lot of facebook group to help you out. If you feel overwhelmed i will give you the same tips i gave to my mom. Do small goals, by example, 1 box a day. Do one room at a time, it will takes months but its better to do small steps than no steps at all!

[@jenius9164]

Due to recent events, the mantra "what if I need it?" has been frightfully replaced with "what if I *don't* need it? What if I never *do* use it? What if it sits there and rots and collects cobwebs and filth, rust and mold, until we're all dead and somebody else has to go through this stuff and throw it away, and wonder what was wrong with us to have so many broken, unusable things?" I didn't realize till this past week that I am a hoarder, from a family of hoarders. I am disturbed by what I've found. My Mom and I are currently cleaning out the hoard left by my deceased stepfather, Mike, which has led to us cleaning out the hoard left by my deceased grandparents in the basement. Mike drew up a will in the hospital before he died wherein his son would get his tools and eagles, and his daughter would get his pennies. So, we had to find and gather this stuff. The mystery chest with a master lock on it turned out to contain the pennies... so. many. pennies. Coffee cans and peanut butter jars filled to the brim with pennies inside this chest that I ended up breaking open (couldn't find the key) with a rusty ax (all of my grandfather's axes are rusty) and a small but heavy sledgehammer, which was also rusty. The chest also contained a drawer of rusty tools, which most of his tools turned out to be: rusty, all thrown together, unusable. Mike flatly refused to throw anything away while he was alive. If I had to guess, I've probably thrown away about 80 pounds of rusty, unusable tools. Rusty jigsaw blades, rusty nails, rusty screwdrivers, rusty wrenches, two toolboxes filled with rusty assorted bits and rusty liquid in the bottom that leaked. Not every single thing was rusty, but most of it was. So yeah, my stepdad had issues. Mom said that every now and then, he would pull something out of his hoarded closet and use it to fix something, insisting "See? See? This came in handy, and we wouldn't have it if you'd made me throw it away. One man's trash is another man's treasure!" About 10% of his tools are usable, the rest were in a disturbing state of disrepair. My grandfather, too, had a collection of rusty axes, hammers, wrenches, and various types of saws: hacksaws, table saws, handsaws, of all different sizes. Also a collection of (not rusty) nails, screws, doorknobs, ceiling fans, light fixtures, magazines, a bird's nest, two identical guns, and I can guarantee that if we had tried to go through any of this stuff when they were still alive, they would have gotten upset and insisted that it was useful, or could potentially be useful one day. So... if you're a hoarder. Think about what you're going to leave behind when you die, for your family to go through. We've been working for over a week now, for hours every day, and we're... maybe halfway done? Maybe a third of the way done? There's just so much. The last thing I found before calling it a night, was a disgusting caulk gun, on top of a lightly used caulk gun, in a rusty chest, with a lone rusty hacksaw in one of the drawers. It's really disturbing. They're dead now, I can't ask why. I can, however, ascertain that they were severely traumatized individuals who didn't know how to heal, and this was how it manifested physically. Feels like I'm going through serial killer belongings though. I myself have PTSD from childhood stuff. I hoarded messes and trash. I felt like a trashy mess, and so that's what I surrounded myself with. Hopefully I never do that to myself again. This has been so eye-opening. It's self-abuse. Best of luck to you, hope that helps.

[@Skitdora2010]

Take it like this, we had to clean my hoarder uncles place after he died (he was a bachelor his whole life). His bedroom was filled with dildos (which I guess he never threw out- they looked antique) and pregnant moms pornos DVD and VHS and the Beta. Also pictures of him posing wearing sun dresses. So, if you die, do you want your family going through your things? Think about that before you buy certain things or if you get too attached to certain things. Other than that, "A home for everything and everything in it's place." If you already got a copy, maybe don't buy that third.

[@sandyg3772]

I have a question. You mentioned that it becomes a hoarding disorder when it negatively impacts your life. What constitutes a negative impact? Especially, when the sufferer isn't suffering, but thinks it is normal? I understand that if people won't (can't) visit because there are too many rules about what to touch and not touch, or if there isn't room for people to move around, then it's a problem. But that seems to me to be in the later stages of being a problem. What does the line between "ok" and "it's a problem" look like, before it gets totally out of hand? I ask, because I have family members who collect, and family members who throw out everything, including the baby in the bathwater. Sometimes there is conflict between the two camps. So, if I am looking at the situation, trying to help everyone get along, what would I see as negative impacts in the life of the collector that should concern me, other than the anxiety of the one who throws everything out? BTW -- the latter buys a bunch of stuff and gets rid of it within the month, sometimes having never been used. Their opinion isn't really credible in my view, but I don't want that to keep me from seeing an issue if there really is one. I want to have an objective view of each side so I can help.

[@kitwhitfield7169]

Negative impacts can be things like - not being able to cook in the kitchen, bathe in the bathroom or work in the study; not being able to get necessary repairs done because you don’t want anyone seeing the inside of the house; financial problems from over-spending; hygiene or vermin problems, either because you hoard unsanitary things or because the clutter makes areas impossible to clean properly; fire hazards because of lots of flammable items and/or blocked exits; living conditions that limit the freedom of the non-hoarder inhabitants... You might find it helpful to check out some clutter ratings like this one: sites.southglos.gov.uk/safeguarding/wp-content/uploads/sites/221/2015/05/Clutter-image-rating-scale.pdf

[@rollzolo]

Leave them alone. We grow old too

[@giuliabeffumo3337]

*little mermaid joined the chat*

[@brokegirl1452]

I personally think when your broke and cant afford clothes its another story. I use to be able to do that when I had a disposable income lol

[@charlesgerety1403]

Bookmarked page....still there 3 months later 🙄

[@vilenagradova5260]

Omg, I literally have no where to sleep in my house

[@hallelujah969]

When it reaches a level 3-4, it is definitely a disorder.

[@milaanekolee]

Me to myself "Is it really unhealthy if its digital?" then 2 minutes later " Ohh, ok i understand now."

[@soulman888]

At 10:16 , half the US just went 😳 I must be a hoarder! 🤣

[@soulman888]

Great interview as always Kyle! I often wondered if I may have been an almost hoarder because I never cleaned up.

[@consciouscrunch5556]

Nah I just don't know where the frick to put it ....

[@MrR3CON1]

im hoarding these videos

[@CC-lq3ie]

Curious...is it an inherited disorder?

[@djnolan00000]

Im no doctor but im pretty sure that it's not nature, it's nurture.

[@frenchthot]

my mom is an hoarder and im not ;)

[@mamlas9494]

I believe it is caused by emotional trauma and afterwards the fear and anxiety is somewhat calmed by the owned stuff as well as the self-esteem. I think it is curable, they need to get a life and have new and safe emotional experiences and then they can let go!! (Try hypnosis)

[@YusifRefae]

damn, she's smart AND fine. wow. (no disrespect)

[@cavelleardiel]

Whew.....I am not a hoarder.

[@Skitdora2010]

Not even digitally? Remember she said ANY information collecting online can be a hoard. Have you checked the size of your youtube wait to watch list? 😜

[@cavelleardiel]

@@Skitdora2010 I don't want everything. I also don't have a tv or Netflix. This is my only viewing and I am spend less than an hour a day with Facebook/Insta.

[@lk4505]

Animal heads... How is that the first thing that came to her mind?

[@KarenG.-qs7wc]

I know...weird. 😮

[@sole_to_soul]

LOL ikr

[@sonicjet7759]

All hoarders start off as collectors of stuff 🌈😇😍😎 control yourselves people.

[@jamesr1703]

6:00 Ouch! The animal lover in me just went nuts. Very bad example.