MEN HAVING SECRET FEMALE FRIENDS IN MARRIAGE AND RELATIONSHIPS| Why He Did Not to Tell you About IT

[@Tiredttttttt]

lol this came at the perfect time, my guy best friends getting married & I made the decision to not attend because he didn’t tell his fiancé that we were friends so I decided id cut the friendship & not show up because why are you hiding me ?

[@ministryofhealingfarm]

It's okay , but if he's engaged/married YOU should require that you meet the woman in his life and be friends with them both. Marriage is a covenant where 2 become 1 so he is no longer your BFF if his wife is not your BFF. And also remember that marriages ordained by God. So when you disrupt a marriage, you disrupt bloodlines futures and legacies that God has predestined and there is a huge karmatic load to carry for women who intentionally break up marriages. That's why you find that a lot of women who intentionally be the side chick and up unmarried /childless. I believe it's because of the energy that they carry from messing with God's plan. ❤

[@tiarose5310]

​@@ministryofhealingfarmPeriod💯💯💯.

[@nnn9854]

Good. As horrible as this sounds he definitely has lowkey feelings for you and was keeping you as a secret so he could cheat.

[@annstewart8506]

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. 💯 to you.

[@jaqoncee6670]

My best friend of 31 years, never hid me from his wife. I always tried to get her to come fishing with us or play basketball and she never wanted to come. We always called each other brother and sister, he was family until his recent death. I don't think that I could trust a male now like him, to be just a friend. I believe it's rare to find a true male / female friendship like that.

[@EmyEgy31]

If man refuse his partner to have male friends, while he have women as friends, he intend to cheat with them and dont want her to do the same.

[@justinebailey5333]

Yep

[@ree3197]

Yes. He knows what his intentions are.. so he's projecting those same feelings on to his partner.

[@Alixir1228]

The man will often let her have male friends to absolve him of his guilt.

[@user-qb8qm4mp5n]

A long time ago I was dating a guy who wanted to get married, I felt he was rushing it. First red flag. The second red flag, I said if we get married you can't be friends with so-and-so. He got visibly upset, angry, and defensive and said any wife of his would have to accept her. I get they were friends from college, and she was his "best friend" so he would spend long weekends visiting her in another state. He was open about it and accused me of being the one with the problem. I said then why aren't you two together? He said they tried and it didn't work. That was my answer right there. She was his friend with benefits and he wasn't giving that up. Fast forward to today, they are still friends and he is divorced from his wife. It makes me wonder that his wife married two people, he and his best friend, so the marriage was doomed.

[@saltycat662]

Yup. He keeps the "friend" around as backup. My brother in law does that except he calls these girls his "reserve gfs" behind his wife's back.

[@AmericanDreamer]

exactly!!!! He's a trash and so is his bestie!!!! Although My heart goes out to his wife, ex wife now, it was a good riddance...she (or anyone else) would be er ever be his nr.1 except his bestie!

[@Misakininbo]

Once my male friends got into relationships I immediately stopped hanging out with them. I might have attended their wedding or family parties but never talk in private, unless it's for work and very seldom. I did it for my own safety, I don't want to be subject of discord between a couple and I need my mental peace ✌🏻

[@AmericanDreamer]

God bless you! You are the real one 💎Wish more women had this understanding how to behave with someone else's man

[@Misakininbo]

@@AmericanDreamer yes, it's the best thing to do for your reputation and wellbeing. I once had one of my single friend's baby mama lashing out at me for no reason, she wanted to go back together with him and saw me as an "obstacle" (we were barely work colleagues, never dated). I don't have to clarify that she was mentally unstable, she beat him when they were together, she sent threats and my friend got me a restraining order for my own safety. Ever since that happened I have these 3 big NOs when it comes to men: no men in relationships, no men with baby mamas, no men with children under 18. Stay safe 🙏🏼

[@FleurRebelle]

I just stay tf away from married ppl period

[@justinebailey5333]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@rubypayne4965]

They can be friends with both. But if the man is hiding the friend he has plans.

[@malloryturner5735]

I hang out with my best guy friend’s wife wayyyy more than him now. She’s the best thing that ever happened to to him 😂

[@ceenichole6866]

I’m not deleting my close friends regardless of their sex. We respect boundaries and it’s really just that simple

[@Prismatic9008]

But weren't the ones saying that men couldn't be friends with women, especially the ones they deem attractive? I give up. This is why I take everything these dudes say with a grain of salt 😂

[@Emptytopfloor]

Make that a generous scoop

[@annstewart8506]

💯 facts!

[@jenniferterry4665]

Exactly. The “most logical” 😂

[@wandah9468]

Ive had guy friends. They taught me most of my skills. But im not romantically interested in them, and the best thing that could happen is his girlfriend/wife and i hit it off. Thats great!😊

[@ShayBoogie44]

Men can't be platonic friends with women. They tell us that themselves. Oh, except when they get caught with one. Then, she's just my friend. 😂 Can't trust any of em. Be safe out here ladies.

[@munchkineatsalotvent9899]

I believe in platonic men and women friendships

[@shaolinqueen3684]

​@munchkineatsalotvent9899 there's no such thing.

[@Armelleee]

Dumb. ​@@munchkineatsalotvent9899

[@Plutos_Child69]

💯

[@shanicrystal8671]

@@Armelleee some people will find out the hard way. I’ll believe in Santa before I believe she’s just a friend

[@AngelaGrainger-w4e]

I like the first guys response, the second person that was talking on this video ..

[@PhotoJeticPoet]

I had a "friend" who passed away and when he died his girlfriend at the time came out and told everyone they secretly got married earlier thar year...... we been friends for 6 years at that point and he literally had a friend he cut off and clowned on for doing that same thing.

[@kaylalaster1038]

I think its a balance. For mature, boundary following, respectful adults it is absolutely possible for those adults to be platonic friends with others of the opposite sex. I personally think if a man doesnt have strong relationships with women he isnt attracted to with whom he respects and seeks their opinion that something is wrong. That can be friends and family. But as the homgirl woth many guy and girl friends I make it known your partner comes first, and once she comes Im her friend and you’re my cousin.😂 Its up to the friend to build a relationship with the partner, respect boundaries, etc. proving they will be a support to your potential family and apart of your village. Bc at the end of the day I want my friends to have wonderful relationships. The problem is ppl gaslit and pretend fwbs or potential sexual partners are their “friends” so they can always have a backup. Ive learned you can feel when someone is genuine and when someone is playing in your face. Stop playing in ppl’s faces like you’re friends with ppl you know you have on the back burner.

[@Alixir1228]

Mature people recognize the nature of men and that a man would not entertain a woman he does not have some type of desire or use for. Yall making long ass paragraphs because you can't put your egos aside to admit your male friends would bang you the moment you offered.

[@somebodycomelistentothispo7217]

Yep. One will ALWAYS have feelings for the other. ALWAYS

[@AmericanDreamer]

exactly

[@IndigoSeeress_Yaa7]

The guy in the fluorescent vest…what does having children have to do with assuming a woman has “options waiting”?!??

[@victorias5272]

He probably thinks she could/would always go back to her baby daddy

[@Caseinpoint1777]

Baby daddies often try to sleep with their baby mamas. For some that’s the reason they got her pregnant-so they will always have access to her

[@shaolinqueen3684]

He's twisting it to make it women having options when it's men that have options. Men are always on the prowl. He has a lot of options. He's a gaslighter and wants to blame women for what HE is doing and has done to all his exes.

[@mesha0932]

This guy doesn’t even have options and he’s clearly scorned.

[@justinebailey5333]

Exactly blk men just talk to me talking I never listen to their responses

[@sakkara1385]

As the female friend... I always make it a point to hang pit with my guy friends partners often, I make she she has my number and check in with her (his gf) regularly

[@Jules-t9m]

I needed to hear this rn thank you ❤

[@mekareactsandreviews3026]

Im sry making ur spouse stop being friends with ppl they've known for yrs..before u even showed up...just because their the opposite sex is not and will not ever keep ur marriage together or keep anyone from cheating...Trying to control ur partner has never kept couples together...Just do urself a favor and stay single..cause u will just live in a constant state of headaches.

[@xletragedyx]

I've dated men without female friends. They were so toxic. It's suspicious to me that there's not a single woman that likes you, except your mama? Like even their sisters and moms weren't huge fans, tbh. I'm married now, my husband's two close female friends are my close friends now. Like sisters. I really love them and they're so kind to me. He never hid anything from the start.

[@rubypayne4965]

​@@xletragedyxIt's not a red flag if he doesn't hide them

[@mekareactsandreviews3026]

@@rubypayne4965 💯 But that's exactly what their going to do if u start with this no friends of the opposite sex BS...

[@xletragedyx]

@@rubypayne4965 exactly. But not having ANY female friends is a red flag, to me

[@Fire_Moon_Tarot]

Why hang on to a married man so he can be your friend? He has a family if you’re not a friend also to his wife you just look stupid and thirsty

[@faith6575]

That was some solid advice at the end. ✨ 👌🏿

[@SheilaGibson-s9h]

My ex is best friends and close with all his ex's because they have kids but they're not his kids. So every time she has an issue she calls him about her kids with another man like you. And then he comes running. So get all about me. Leave town for days. Don't answer the phone but he's over there helping her. Then when he comes back we're supposed to resume our relationship like nothing never happened 😞

[@AmericanDreamer]

I hope he is truly your ex now.... because he got hots for her....hence he so available for her....Ditch him!

[@maef7026]

Also being that girl friend when a man is in a relationship is bs, don't pull me into conflicts in your relationship. I know his fantasy: he thinks I'll feel sorry for him when he complains about his partner and even though was never interested in a romantic relationship with him I'll feel so sorry for him that I'll reassure him I'll be his "spare wheel" and wait for him if he breaks of with his girl. Except the problem is...I'm an actual human being and not something he can call dibs on. The fact that he's complaining about his lady is already giving me the ick and basically telling me the kind of man he is when he's in a relationship. A lot of men are constantly saying that men and women can't be "just friends" but the moment declaring that proudly doesn't serve him because he's in a relationship, he starts finding all kinds of excuses why his partner is the one that's paranoid and acting jealous.

[@antionetteportillo1622]

Number 1!

[@xletragedyx]

I think it's funny that I the opposite thought. I'm married now, but I would never date a man who didn't have female friends. Very sketchy. I think it means they lack emotional intelligence tbh. Guy in the orange is right. My husband had three close female friends when we got together. One dropped him when we got together. The other two are now like sisters to me. Hiding is the problem. I've dropped most of my male friends since we got together. Just pay attention to how your "friends" and partner's "friends" act. You have to be real with yourself. No one should tell you who you can be friends with. If you value your relationship, you will only keep friends that are friends of your relationship.

[@ebonyjohnson3114]

Dude saying women has backup options is a lie! That’s certain people be it male or female it’s not just one gender. Having kids has nothing to do with it eithwr

[@AmericanDreamer]

🎯💯

[@RayGlatt]

If I was at your wedding, I won't be sleeping with your husband. I am not going to hurt you or him that way. I have Morales.

[@vladimirazubcekova7727]

same plus i am never even attracted to bfs of my friends and same goes for them. so even if no moral were in place mutual zero chemistry is still there to save the day

[@deez4evs]

I have male friends who are like brothers. I played sports all through school, some college and as an adult. So I had male friends in general. And I have tons of female friends. If I had a daughter I would tell her to stay away from men. Most my male friends are now married and I no longer exist. There were people I considered family at one point in my late teens, twenties and into 30s. It sucks but I get it. Doesnt help w one’s self esteem tho.

[@luna-p]

This possessiveness that couples have over each other is so weird and damaging. Obviously it's a problem when dudes only hang out with women to get in their pants, but that doesn't seem to be your experience. Sorry man.

[@deez4evs]

@@luna-p 🙏🏽

[@Alixir1228]

​@@luna-pthe gaslighting and mental gymnastics yall women are doing to maintain male attention is wild 😂

[@shanicrystal8671]

I’m not friends with any men because my hobbies and interests don’t align with them. We’d have nothing in common. Nah I don’t want a man with female friends my dad never had any. Friends is code for one of us wants more!

[@xletragedyx]

I don't have male friends since I stopped drinking and gaming lmao. I have some friends from back when I did, but we don't really stay in touch very often. A conversation a couple times a year, to catch up

[@saeranchoi3343]

The only male friends I have are either gay or significantly younger than me so they don’t see me as an option. I once tried to be friends with a man over twice my age but he eventually tried to make a move on me despite being already in a relationship. Never again.

[@xletragedyx]

@saeranchoi3343 the old ones are gross, for sure. I agree with the young ones usually being cool. They don't want to date you if you're 10 years older, but if you're 30 years younger, they still try to get with you 🤮

[@dumpmail-xz2qp]

Isn't cutting off friends for no other reason than over a partner more of a sign that he cant handle being faithful in a relationship? That there was something between them?? Cutting off friends over a insecure partner is rather very controlling of the partner and toxic towards the friends.This shouldn't be about having options but about having a healthy life with friends, family and your partner. There are more friends who actually respect the relationship rather that wait for an opportunity, especially when it is a person with very few friends. I had to cut off my close friend of 16 years because her boyfriend was too controlling and more than happy to encourage her to have a very toxic mindset towards me and I was only supporting her having a relationship with someone and doing well with zero interest in setting them apart...

[@rachelhartland6192]

I agree with you. I dont understand the sentiment that having friends of the opposite gender when you’re in a relationship is a red flag. If my partner didn’t like that that I had male friends and couldn’t trust me then he’d have to be the one to leave. I’m not being controlled in that way.

[@Alixir1228]

Say it with me: if he is a MAN and you are a WOMAN it was never a FRIENDship

[@rachelhartland6192]

I don’t get the sentiment that having friends of the opposite gender when you’re in a relationship is a red flag. If my partner couldn’t handle that I have male friends before I got into a relationship with him because he can’t trust me then he would have to be the one to leave. I’m not being controlled in that way. Same goes for men with female friends who have been friends with them for a long time too.

[@shylapollard5165]

I had an ex that did that. He was so pathetic and she was too.

[@JessResourceful]

Simone and Cecil (M2M) almost got divorced bc of Cecil's female bff. 20+ years of marriage, almost gone over a friendship. You make covenant with your spouse before God. A real friend would respect boundaries, whether they create them or the married friend sets them.

[@RickRorose]

Dude at 4:58 womens backup plan is being solo and by ourselves. That’s enough for us. People that bounce straight to the next relationship, lining something up before leaving, they have issues and will cause nothing but chaos in the next. Codependency is not attractive

[@AmericanDreamer]

and that dude was speaking so coz he was massively projecting since we all know that men cannot be/stay alone, they NEED someone at all times

[@RickRorose]

Yep. And they love to claim it’s because of another man when we are done with him because that’s exactly what he does or what he would do if he could. Nope, I am choosing single not looking. 1) I need to have a giant breather after dealing with you 2) I want to do ME because handling you lately depleted me and the things I want and have to do, which does not involve you or another man 3) why would I sign up to be treated like what I’ve had to put up when I was with you? Men just suck our energies. No thanks.

[@TM-nb9zf]

Funny. A guy I went to high-school with just recently DM me and asked if I can check on him from time to time and be there if he needed to talk.😂 He is married and had been for 15 years. I told him no. I respect your wife. And he GOT MAD😂 These men are so so so trash

[@cutlyfe]

Yo wtf

[@RickRorose]

Her title has to be something else to him and then he adds friend to it, and you know about it. Men don’t just have friends, especially women friends. Look at men’s male friends-they were coworkers first, classmate, family friend, a shared club or card game night…ask him where he met his lady-friend or how they became friends will tell a lot. My policy: never be alone with someone of the opposite sex one-on-one, even in public. Strangers will automatically assume y’all are together and that’s enough to seed an affair.

[@ElaineLoyd]

It seems to take a lot of energy to be in a relationship.

[@Da-vw9wy]

So, can a wife have male friends?

[@jmcslay7393]

The guy in the yellow safety vest is aware of his facial shortcomings and very insecure . I found multiple text threads my ex had with multiple women and guess who the main topic of discussion was? They are disgusting and so is he.

[@LovelyTrueRed]

Forsake all others. Cleve to your wife Genesis 2:24

[@vladimirazubcekova7727]

or simply follow your common sense and morals and dont cheat

[@somebodycomelistentothispo7217]

They’ll cheat regardless

[@lummie.soares]

If he doesn’t have conflicts because of this “friendships” he is having at home. A men with female friends and colleagues is a very bad partner at home he already has a relationship 😅.

[@RickRorose]

Imagine you were his backup girl to fall back on. Ick.

[@nataliabusko1432]

Man allowed to have friend of opposite sex only as his gf/wife. Period.

[@ToughWitty]

1:09 men ain't women and women ain't man

[@RickRorose]

Guys playing games are just playing themselves in the long run.

[@Cesiajd]

I think that mentality is very toxic, if you don't trust your partner, don't have it.

[@jasminerosewater3891]

A lot of small minded ness. Me and my partner both run businesses and have to be around opposite sex clients/ business connects/ etc. If I was this insecure and fear based neither of us would be able to run our business.

[@Alixir1228]

Since when is having boundaries insecure? Y'all are still victims of the patriarchy man.

[@mekareactsandreviews3026]

Lol...I'm sry..This is so stupid...Any man that tells me to dump my OG day one friends...won't be my man..Bye...I'm anti control freak...and no it doesn't impress even lil if a man says he would do the same for me...Like u font trust urself around ur female friends...Ok...Bye

[@Jacee191]

And then when they up and leave yow ass you don’t have anyone in your corner. Been there done that I have known my good friend since I was 13. And I am not throwing him away for a relationship.

[@mekareactsandreviews3026]

@@Jacee191 Yeah I'm good...I'd rather be alone then be trying to control a grown as man who's going to leave my controlling as anyway...And my fiance agrees

[@vladimirazubcekova7727]

if you cant trust the partner or friends that nothing will happen then there is no point of getting married or being in relationship with them