Men in the DM | Talks with Tony

Thank you for watching! My videos focus on life, love, and business. I believe in living a balanced and full life. I answer questions from my viewers in the “Talks with Tony” series. Then on Fridays, I speak to the men in the “Man 2 Man” series. On Saturdays, I focus on business and entrepreneurial lessons in the “Small Business Saturdays” series. Then on Sundays, you can catch a motivational message in the “Sunday Sermon” series.
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#tonygaskins #relationshipadvice #datingadvice #marraigeadvice #motivation #lifecoaching #mentorship

[@alexisforteza_]

Ladies, you can be kind and light hearted while also having standards. Its a fine balance. Trust yourself, and God, to know that whatever NEEDS to be exposed will be exposed at the right time. Texting does not equal marriage. If it goes south....just block them

[@love7loyalty-MHA]

One thing about Uncle Tony. He gonna Mention someone being Ted Bundy nephew 🤣🤣 I love it here 🤎

[@cherh]

😂😂😂 fact!

[@marilynking527]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@nikkyshamz2696]

lmbo facts

[@Chicarene22]

Lol 💯

[@kemi9031]

I agree. It's okay to be feminine and soft. You don't have to be aggressive to every man that tries to shoot his shot. If you're not feeling it, keep it cute and polite. You don't have to be hard every waking moment in life

[@reinaafricana6423]

@Kemi 🙌🏾 Yes!

[@micheleprice9771]

AMEN! SO RIGHT! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! MAY2021

[@itstimefortea4582]

Exactly. It’s nothing wrong with being sweet so someone vs being masculine and coming off rude. That could have been her husband now God out here shaking his head at her 😂

[@MyMyTyTy]

Exactly, she definitely has her nose in the air.

[@Azizajewelry]

Lol. He was rude. A man I just met DM’ed me and asked for my number because he didn’t want to keep going to Ig to message me. I told him I wasn’t ready for that yet and he respected me and continued to message me in my DM’s. If they truly want to get to know you, they’ll inconvenience themselves.

[@mwright0428]

I agree with that too- you were probably polite about it and I’m sure that’s why he was cool with it. When Tony read the screenshots of their exchange she was being extra

[@nikkirowland]

I agree. I just had this happen as well. The guy jumped in the DM and said “I think you’re beautiful can I have your number” I said thank you for the compliment but can we talk here first and see how that goes. He said ok, the next day he went right back to “can I have your number” I said “lol, what happened to talking here first?” That started 3 days ago, today it’s been crickets lol not a word from him. And I’m absolutely ok with that. I don’t think her response was horrible, maybe not the nicest but not horrible. I love how this video showed up right after going through a similar experience. I definitely took notes 💕

[@deliteful1991]

@@nikkirowland I agree and if he was really interested he would have respected her request.🤷🏽‍♀️

[@Nekole1]

I am the same way. I do not like wasting my time. To be quite blunt, I have given my number to men in the past. And they were not consistent with communication. Most men want you to rush to meet them very quickly without having a conversation or see if its a spark there. There has been times when I would meet guys and they were not my type. Ladies, get to know them via phone call first. Not txting nor just meeting up quick.

[@denisemyers733]

Inconvenience them selfs for sure. And go outta there way for you.

[@cindeed4422]

“Loose Ding a Ling 901” lol 😂

[@nikkirowland]

🤣🤣

[@sharonhall7439]

you did the right thing because if he really wanted to talk with you he wouldn't care about doing it through messenger.

[@deliteful1991]

Exactly!

[@monique9783]

The “man sitting in the dark” takes me out EVERY TIME!

[@cherh]

😂😂😂

[@ayannatyler3059]

With glasses on 🤣

[@monique9783]

@@ayannatyler3059 That, too! Helps to ensure there is no confusion! 😩😂

[@sheenamincey4740]

And the spinning things on his desk😂

[@Rita-cy3qw]

@@sheenamincey4740 yeah exactly so shady 😂😂😂😂😂

[@gemmerouge8828]

I love when Tony throw in that little piece of shade for the people who know 😂 “he been listening to men sitting in the dark.” 🤣🤣

[@tialaboard3222]

Yes that was shade😂...hilarious... makes you wonder how many men really are doing this though

[@devinbatts722]

I screamed in here on these people job 😂😂😂

[@relisbetrel]

I need to know who these men are sitting in the dark watching things spinning on their desk lol.. Enlighten me!

[@ambermobetta6885]

“That’s a hit single, Ok, take care” 😂 😂 😂....Tony keep the humor going‼️

[@itsmetifft]

I’d download the song too

[@dooliefaye3588]

“I can tell how you said it by the length of your braids.”🤣🤣🤣

[@gemmerouge8828]

That took me out 😂😂😂

[@lakishamumford2329]

😂😂💀

[@beefaye6861]

Grl .....I was dead 😂😂😂😂

[@beefaye6861]

Hey Doolie....my middle name is "Faye" 👋😁

[@fluffysox6072]

😂😂😂

[@dn-cp6sh]

I've watched most of Tony's videos and I still learn something new with each one. He keeps getting the same kinds of questions but he has the gift of answering every one in a different way to gain new knowledge. Thanks Tony!

[@MissPrettySweetC]

Everytime Tony say "talking to men in the dark" I Crack up 😄 They betta stop listening to those men.

[@knowyourworth2213]

I’m watching you too much bruh I’m over here saying stuff like “dirt diggler” 😂😂😂

[@cherh]

😂😂😂 ditto!

[@Dimples3434]

Me too. And “ listen to me na “ 🤣🤣

[@cherh]

@@Dimples3434 yep! 😂😂😂

[@coachnatishamommatish185]

😆😆😆

[@coachnatishamommatish185]

@@cherh Cher you are so pretty sis, I almost didn't recognized you without your glasses, your hair is straight get it, get it Boo!!🙏👑💨💨🤗

[@erynd.9911]

I know i used to go off on these men lol but I’ve learned maintaining my composure is key and i also want to be feminine i don’t want to be hard core and brash..if it doesn’t work for me i can respectfully decline and leave it at that 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@ashleygoodrich3294]

Tony should be a comedian I SWEAR. I laugh out loud when he get the Tallking about people ENERGY😆

[@rebeccalucas6063]

Some scammers don't try to scam you immediately, some may actually wait 6 months or more. I know two people who were played after a year I see what craziness is going on, and it scares me after being married for many years and then widowed. Things have gotten so crazy and dangerous it's difficult to not be defensive.

[@wavynaturalista]

"...but he been listening to men sitting in the dark," had me in actual tears!

[@ThisIzKena]

😂😂😂😂..when he said the name!

[@karamelbuttafly3624]

😂😂😂

[@lisasmilez]

Tony said loose dangling 901 😂😂😂😂😂😂 I hollered

[@19Hollisterchick90]

I'm glad you touched on this, because I've noticed in many women only groups online there are women saying you don't have to be kind when rejecting men or they'll post screenshots of them going off on men who were interested. It is weird how manners are considered being weak and a pushover.

[@mangoesnbreadfruit01]

So basically, when a guy offers his number to a female, it's a tactic for him to avoid rejection and he's a coward. He's not man enough to ask for her number. And on top of that, he'll judge her in an inaccurate & negative way if she does take his number...🤔🤨 Noted 📝 I swear, watching your channel is a blessing and a curse because seeing the way most men operate makes me want to remain single. Ngl. Like, simple interactions get turned into games, tests and judgement. Smh.

[@mayasheartdesiire]

Right like why does it takes all of this? It’s really silly and unnecessary how they be using tactics.

[@deliteful1991]

Some of these men want to be girlfriends and have females chase them. They want to be the prize. Smh 🤦🏽‍♀️ it’s a mess out here.

[@Latinaperspective]

When he gives you his number you can say “ Great, here’s my number “. And believe me he will message or call you first.

[@WanyReyes]

I don't reply to no body that I don't know. I read and block men left and right. I don't take anyone serious from social media. 🤷🏼‍♀️ If I reply to anyone it will be thanks, and amen... But, again, that's me.

[@LEXZAYful]

This a “ real killa”🤣 i’m in the library cracking up I can’t help it

[@Dr.Elaine1]

“Stop talking to people for screenshots.” TG

[@PeaceBeStill-]

Can't trust anyone's intentions nowadays 😒

[@mwright0428]

I do personally think she was doing the most. We are in a pandemic and your on SM. Of course men will slide in the DMs. If he ain’t your type off first glance, ignore it. But responding and being defensive off rip, is a bit much. I understand him being turned off

[@cherh]

Same thing I said lol she doing too much. It's a way to talk to everyone and she was covered in a shield 😂 guard on high! She not ready to date

[@mwright0428]

@@cherh right! Like dang girl what else was he supposed to do lol

[@elizabethschilling7178]

Great advice, great word! Be woman of class, peace, and love.

[@amandabretch85]

Perhaps he has a gf/wife or fiancé and he can’t have his phone going ding ding ding all the time with her messages to him. So he didn’t want to message her back and forth for a time. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@karamelbuttafly3624]

🎯

[@deliteful1991]

I thought the same.

[@marcieverrett9809]

Yes!! When you've healed from the past, you are not bitter and you can respond to everyone in love no matter what you have to say.

[@kilimanjaro5537]

I don’t like when men give me their number. You’re supposed to text/call me first. When men do that it feels like they want you to pursue them.

[@corlenciabeamon2]

“Whea a butterfly get a STANGA from‼️”

[@Leelang931]

She overthinking the situation, just answer the questions without overthinking, you don’t have to give so much information about yourself all at once, why is that so difficult smh, just be neutral and unbothered

[@amandarecoveryjones8216]

True

[@marilynking527]

Lol right

[@nnekaou4490]

👏🏼👏🏼

[@19Hollisterchick90]

This! I realize a lot of people do this. They'll post screenshots of texts in groups asking what to say next and how to interpret things. We have to learn how to go with the flow.

[@innocentlife2346]

@Abc Def U spoke a 👄 mouth full. Amen

[@whatsyourflavshaveice4768]

Your wife! I love her🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽😂😂😂 get out🤣

[@cherh]

She's not ready to date lol it's something that she's holding inside that made her so defensive. It's a way to talk to people.

[@beefaye6861]

"All you do is watch forensic files every night" 😂😂😂😂😂

[@sylviasalcedo8569]

Definitely through texting or emails, we need to be careful how we convey our words. I work for the military, so I actually read my emails before I send it out, at least 3 times. If I have doubt, I ask my supervisor to read and give me feedback. Because it is through, something other than in person, we need to check it. First and foremost, respect always. Giving respect has nothing to do with the person's works, but their God given worth. And that phrase"take care" is open ended. Especially in a setting like this one, it can come off snobby, rude. It's about context and like Tony said, where are we operating from. Survey the land of your heart.

[@marciahill6659]

Hey Tony and Sheri I started my book club. We purchased A Woman’s Influence! It’s my second time reading this book. Thank you both for sharing your experience to help and heal others.

[@nursesrock4264]

I find it Soo refreshing that I can go outside, encounter a situation and literally come find a TG video and watch it before I respond 🌱🌿

[@jifunzekiingerezanadorothy]

So good. Thank you Tony

[@angelperriello5737]

Tony be giving free game 😂😂 I need to get me a lil side phone

[@iamTiffanyEmpowermentPodcast]

Y’all why our brother so HILARIOUS 🤣🤣🤣

[@germanyholmes1426]

I die every time he says “men sitting in the dark” 💀😂

[@je39981]

"Been listening to men sitting in the dark." HA ! If you know, you know.

[@chasidycollins9061]

Lmboooo iykyk

[@abidingeast]

Haha, I was just about to say, I caught that shade...lol

[@logic888]

we know😹😹😹

[@juliejuju7419]

Sorry y'all...who is the man in the dark😖 Idk...

[@juliejuju7419]

@@earthreign omg hahaaa ok! thanks for clarification hun

[@KimG777]

Thank you again Tony for this message. I didn’t realize this was a thing for someone my age, over 50. I met someone in my DM and needed to hear this. He is a widower and so far, so good. ❤️

[@KimG777]

He ended up being a scammer!! 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@love7loyalty-MHA]

Ready and present

[@sherryj738]

Tony you are so correct....tracfon first, not your personal phone. Thank you for your wisdom

[@Pinkdiamond12]

Women have to think like a man but also keep that feminine energy.

[@kilimanjaro5537]

Don’t think like a man. Your strength lies in your feminine mindset/mentality.

[@cassiemiller6923]

@@kilimanjaro5537 Sister Zeniah, If we don't think like them, then how will we know their strategies? Personally, I think a woman can authentically exude feminity and also recognize the ways of men.

[@83ttaylor]

Memphis stand up “901”!!!! 😂

[@LLCoolCooper]

Sometimes they will call you from Facebook or video FaceTime on Messenger.

[@dimediamond]

That's why I deactivated FB 4 good

[@adrianblanks1832]

That’s so disrespectful! Especially when you don’t even know these people. 😂😂😂😂

[@amilllion1]

Oh Lil Jonathan from Memphis ! 🤣

[@ashley_audacious]

I snorted when he said Jonathan 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@jamishagross2277]

I have been putting in my , good commits about Tony , I didn't know he being coaching since 2012, God sent this man in our bad relationship's,in women's and men's that or disobedience God and humbeing

[@stargoldqueen5894]

It ain't easy to be calm when they wanna try you tho'.!

[@InspiredUno]

Gotta work on that though. Because going off isn’t acceptable. You can move on gracefully.

[@stargoldqueen5894]

@@InspiredUno true enough and like your name sis.

[@kemi9031]

Oh Lord I clicked on this way too fast 🙄😂

[@cindeed4422]

Me too! 😂

[@jessicagrant9748]

Tony a straight up clown LOL ! He have me so tickled .. you can’t tell me he don’t sit up at night thinking of funny stuff .. lol

[@Dimples3434]

Facts!!! Clicked too fast

[@brittanyb5942]

Same girl 🤭

[@DanniLynn203]

OMG love the story about your wife! She got you together 🤣🤣🤣

[@b.michavery1363]

She is coming off as false confident and her approach is defensive because she is wanting to put out this perception of "high standards". She obviously feels a bit interested in him otherwise she wouldn't have written in about it. The guy wasn't rude or disrespectful he literally was asking for clarification of the "messenger" response. My God. At some point you have to ask yourself are you interested in truly getting to know people beyond platonic, because honestly she is absolutely too defensive.

[@lifecoachdr.marye.proctor2207]

Thank you, be blessed!

[@sherryj738]

You did it completely correct in my opinion

[@sherrytee2962]

A side phone is the best idea AND as a bonus it limits your contact in case you're over keen and like messaging too much from desperation or boredom...dont ask how I know🤣! But seriously, they don't need to know it's a seperate phone but you can subtly upgrade them to the main phone if they prove to be worthy.

[@laquetianewstartmercer]

Hey Tony. Be blessed.

[@Jusleen0403]

“HE LOOKS LIKE HE’S BEEN LISTENING TO MEN IN THE DARK” 🤣🤣🤣

[@dmwilliable]

Sometimes you don't see why you need reservation. Thanks, for the words of thoughts, I'm learning.

[@bregettewashington4669]

Hi you are so on point Tony sometimes you don't want to talk to someone and go ghost i am not talking to someone i dont like

[@DeserttoGarden]

Good illustration about queen mentality/behavior.

[@jaenorth2654]

Listening

[@queenofthesouth4205]

Lighten up.. We have to treat people like we want to be treated. Lessons and Laughter with TG🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@peaceful_and_blessed2879]

Slice em and dice em in the DM 😂😂

[@ewomick]

Very Very Important 30:20 .. Love it!!

[@jasminerobinson5149]

Thank you for the daily dose of insight, comedy, and authenticity!! Be blessed 🙌🏽

[@lekeshial418]

If he truly saw something special with her, he wouldn't have bowed out so fast . She did set her standard; in saying they could message through DM ,first. Then proceed from there. A man who's genuinely into you, will inconvenience himself(stray from the path that's possibly worked with other women); and will meet you on your level. -Do Lighten up though, Sis😄. SN:With Google voice, you can change the number, as many times as you want.😉

[@deliteful1991]

Exactly, he wasn’t serious and she lost nothing. Sis was like 🗣 take care ✌🏾👋🏾

[@lekeshial418]

@@deliteful1991 Right!... "take care" my favorite 2piece😄

[@rljackson320]

Exactly if he really wanted her that wouldn’t have been an issue. If you have the apps downloaded on your phone, the messages literally come to your phone like a text. She didn’t miss out on anything, but next time she’ll know to be a little softer. 😊

[@InspiredUno]

And that’s okay. He was able to see that wasn’t what he wanted and he backed off. That’s a good thing! You don’t want someone who isn’t really interested.

[@lekeshial418]

@@InspiredUno exactly..He didn't see that she was worth more effort. She wasn't easy.. That's my point. That's why he backed off. Her tone was wrong, but that wasn't why he backed off. Otherwise the conversation wouldn't have gone past her saying, she could be crazy. Lol. Neither of them lost a thing. She gave him a prerequisite to getting her number. That was too much for him. I'm sure he just moved on to the next DM.

[@sharonhall7439]

I was about to watch a movie;but it can wait. LOL

[@Ashley_Banks]

What movie? Lol

[@sharonhall7439]

@@Ashley_Banks without remorse. Michael B.Jordan starring in

[@nikkyshamz2696]

Ladies you can be kind, classy, soft, confident and set boundaries. Good energy, good vibes are a thing. Kindness should never go out of style regardless of past experiences, stay woke , discerning and warm, there are men i didnt date but we ended up as amazing friends, ive met their wives or girlfriends and weve all become cool and they will do anything to make sure i'm straight just off good vibes.

[@marysmith6803]

How long did you say you have listening to Tony? Naha!

[@missk4021]

Gratitude 🙏🏽 Tony For Your Wisdom.

[@curiositykillsthe2597]

Yea if I could make a suggestion it would be that it is totally okay to just go with the flow in the initial stage. You don’t have anything to lose yet because you are not invested yet. It’s okay to go with the flow and work on your soft skills just a little. You don’t have to prove a point yet because this isn’t even your guy. Definitely do what you’re comfortable with only but it’s a lot in how you say things.

[@RochelleDametrice]

Men in the dark 😭😭😂🤣

[@jaenorth2654]

Thank you!

[@jreyr89]

6:37 That reaction is priceless 🤣 😂

[@itstimefortea4582]

Lmao the way he look at the camera after his wife told him to get out got my cryinnnnnn 😂🤣

[@DebtDemolisherTV]

🤣🤣🤣 I crap up every time you burst out laughing in the middle of reading 🤣🤣🤣

[@ZfenProductions]

WE GOT ANOTHER EMAIL YALL. Heyyyy Tony HIGH FIVE ✋🏿 I clicked so fast!

[@nadinemcpt]

Been waiting for this topic to come up ❤

[@katrinaandersonward5938]

Lol! I get the message! Working from home allows me to really LAUGH Out Loud.

[@lonqinezisela4358]

Your wise words are 🔥 thank you as well as your wife you guys helped me out to get myself out of depression and thinking I needed verification from family !!.

[@FutureAttyInTheMaking]

🙏🏼🙏🏼👍🏼👍🏼 - to the great messages “Life Coach” extraordinaire shares..😆🤣😂 - to the funny moments he has, lol!

[@lehellewilkins3238]

Be bless.

[@cheekscheeks5840]

Interesting 🤔

[@sherrynelson365]

I don’t treat meeting people on social media or any app most of those Men are married or living with someone you see Women all day everyday !

[@keehumphrey5284]

Cuzin Tony❗ That Real Killa segment was SO on point !!!!!!!

[@sharingbeauty5063]

I’m here for the humor 🤣

[@r.e45]

Loose 901....Bwahahahahahahahaha 🤣 It’s the Take Care For Me 😂😂

[@tinajones1932]

Listening.

[@CaramelCuban]

This was good !

[@rohneshamhorne]

This was so good!!! Thank you!

[@bookieaustin2244]

I’m in my early 20s taking to men off of social media ain’t what’s up most them menz wanna come to your house the first day you talk to them I don’t recommend it one dude which was 21 wanted to move in and I just met him

[@lovewhisperer100]

How do you clear your mind, as you say to have a pure heart or mind.

[@kilimanjaro5537]

Pray for a pure heart and mind.

[@micheleprice9771]

@@kilimanjaro5537 So RIGHT! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! MAY2021

[@helena3631]

Thanks for this Tony I usually answer my DMs from guys asking me out in a mean way or just block them off the top .. I will be more tactful... I remember a guy said you seem nice and I answered you don’t know me I could be a crazy person 😐😐

[@stephaniew4848]

I was like👀👀😳😳🤣🤣

[@LadieTasha]

Present 💜

[@cindeed4422]

So is it the same when a man asks “call me so I can have your number?” I called him. Was he thinking that I was submissive because I did so? He called me back a hour later to ask me for a date. I turned him down. It left like a game to me.

[@lashondarochell7584]

Sis it seems like you could have gave him a chance 😉

[@cindeed4422]

I ended up being correct about him. He never asked me out again, but tried to sleep with me 3 months later by trying to pick me up at a church dinner! He thought I was loose body 501! It was discernment from God.

[@nursesrock4264]

I'm reluctant to even respond to a DM.

[@bookieaustin2244]

I had my share fb idolits

[@arandaholley1719]

Tony I see what you mean about side phone but most men will dial and expect the phone to ring. Some text and expect you to text back in person.