Mental Health When Moving to DENMARK: What I Wish I Knew Before!

[@livbalduf6900]

WOW. I feel so seen and soothed, thank you guys so much. I just moved to Lund for my masters. So many things you say I have already felt in my few months here. I feel self conscious more than ever, especially as an American (we are under a microscope and so many people have resentment or misunderstanding of Americans). I get nervous to act too American, and as a result I feel myself growing small sometimes. You are also spot on about the high achiever thing and feelings of inadequacy. I have my exam coming up, and for a few days I was losing my mind a little wondering why I was struggling (forgetting I am adapting to a new culture and away from my partner of 3 years until she moves here too). I’m also feeling like I am at a bit of a different stage of life than my fellow students. I don’t drink much and don’t like partying. I’m clueless on internet lingo. I look forward to having a home and having peace with my partner as we navigate our careers and education. Sometimes this feels alienating, and I miss my friends back home. I would love to learn Swedish and I intend to, but my plate is too full right now. I should start lessons after my exam some time, but I know language learning will pose its own challenges, as you guys have spoken about. I am lucky to be a native English speaker. I have also felt that guilt of “but I was so excited to live here, why am I not happy or appreciating it?” That is a BIG one that I am still working on. Thank you for your video, this couldn’t have been better timing. Sending so much gratitude and appreciation from a fellow American in Scandinavia :)

[@77ahrens]

Im Danish ...And have to say , its so great to hear you tell ..how hard it can be to move abroad. And we danes are not allways easy to make new friendships with.I used to have some really good friends.But because of depression i have to almost start from scratch with new friends..And yes winter-depression is a common thing in the scandinavian countries

[@GreatViva]

Thank you guys, it was great to hear these experiences and advice. We moved here to Copenhagen a few months ago and had some situations you mentioned. Good to know that we are not alone. Your videos always help us so I am really greatful. I wish everyone strength in all difficulties. 🙏

[@RobeTrotting]

So glad you can relate and that our videos have helped you 😊

[@celeluwhen]

Thank you so much... Watching this video, I burst into tears because I felt so seen. I've been here for a year and it does get much easier, but woah, I've been through so much, and it's great to have someone recognize it! Also - the washing machines here are very humbling indeed!!!!

[@financialconnectioninc]

The laundry story was funny. When i arrived in Copenhagen as a student I purchased what I thought was laundry detergent. It was actually drain cleaner. Another student in my Kollegium (dorm) saw what I was about to do and stopped me. Disaster averted.

[@sannehansen4156]

Oddly enough, many people complain about or at least notice the dark winters in Denmark. Try Northern Norway or Northern Sweden, where the sun doesn't rise for 5 months - you can have a dark winter there.

[@hennalinneachristiansen3124]

I’m born and raised in Tromsø. It’s dark and cold and yet the people are generally sweet and warm up there. We are humbled, and we are united by the weather and way of life.

[@renevw5812]

On the 21st of december the sun comes up around 08:37 and goes down on 15:38. So that is only 7 hours of light, and that is, if you are lucky and it is not cloudy/misty/raining. To compare this with 21 december in The Netherlands (08:46 - 16:29) so that around 07:40 of light. And Denmark is only 400km higher. And when it is all sunny...but we know it will probably not be the case. So vitamine D and all kinds of vitamines, And do more inside odd jobs and decorate for xmas.

[@EriktheRed2023]

We're lucky to have you guys! I hope this helps someone make that transition.

[@Drescher1984]

I'm from here and I struggle with mental health, and it is one of the biggest weak points of the Danish system.

[@DNA350ppm]

Great discussion!

[@skylerkelley1718]

Hair color is GIVING 💛

[@RobeTrotting]

Takkkkk - it's grown out now, but was fun in the summer :)

[@HeatherLipinski]

This is great! An important topic. I remember having some of this just going from Pennsylvania to New York, so I can't imagine how much more it is going to another country. Have you all covered here or on your podcast, how unions work or your union experience in Denmark. I don't think I've seen anything but may have missed it. This is a topic I would find interesting. I've heard you stay with your union as you go from job to job. So different from the USA.

[@sifrasmussen2315]

Great video, and may I say, you both look great. I hope you are doing good.

[@kennitolstrup5752]

Danes love to speak English/American in that existence that we find it sad when u learn Danish. ( for some of us ;) ) And again I love your channel❤ U2 are in front of understanding Danes. Even more than a lot of Danes. Keep it up ❤

[@marionhansen3627]

I moved to London in the 80s and ended up staying there for almost all of the eighties. I agree with you as far as the homesickness. It was terrible in the beginning and in those days, you couldn’t just get on a plane and go home whenever you wanted to. Traveling was very expencive and there was an oil chrisis from the 70s going on with terrible inflation going on at more than 20%😮 So I had to sort of sit it out. I was all on my own and very young. I could write letters which I did, and that was about it😊 Phone calls were rediculously expencive, so I didn’t do many of them😅 The big day arrived and finally I got to go home on vacation! What a bummer!! I had a culture shock so bad and ended up longing back to Britain! I’m in my 60s now and may be moving to the US😮😊 It’s a very big step to take so late in life. But why not I ask myself! The only thing that keeps me from just doing it, is your healthcare system and the very expencive insurances. I’ll have to look a little more into it. Thanks for this very nice video you two❤

[@TheBethaiable]

Friendgroup thing aint wrong. I were unfortunately not lucky enough to get lasting friendships from school years. As a result the majority of my frrends are foreigners. On the upside, it means we default to english constantly, even amongst only danes :P

[@jamesabber7891]

13:16 Being Danish I never thought about my washing machine saying "slut" to me every time it was done. The Danish word "slut" means "end" in English, like end of the washing program. But now I will never look at my washing machine again in the same way when it is done . Now I know it is accusing me of being a slut, and that will make me smile before I turn it off when it is done.

[@EFJoKeR]

Having a mental issue, is universal nowadays. Not just for Danes... Sorry, just saw the headline, as i was going to bed. And wanted to chime in... I've suffered Anxiety, and depression for at least 30 years. Then i got really sick, and almost died. - That set me on a journey, to understand what had happened, and in the course of that investigation, i also discovered, that... What almost killed me, was likely also what had caused my mental issues... Namely - The "modern diet" we all consume. Yea, imagine that... I got the hint, from Dr. Chris Palmer, and i do urge, anyone struggling with mental issues, to give him a listen...

[@Zandain]

🤣🤣 sorry guys, but those markers, sound like menopause! Most women experience these ups & downs for more than 10+ years! ...but point taken As a diplomatic brat, that family traveled around the world. The best way to keep the 'depression blues' at arm's length, is to remember your own traditions. Easter, Thanksgiving, Birthdays etc.... Good video and remember your D-vitamins!! ☀️ hello from Hundested 🌸

[@Phiyedough]

In terms of culture shock I have been fairly lucky because the cultural differences I've encountered have not been that big. I'm British but moved to Hungary in 2011 then to Croatia in 2018. I'm sure if I had moved to USA it would have been tougher, apart from the language aspect. I met up with a British friend a couple of weeks ago and that was probably the first time in over a year that I spoke face to face with another Brit.

[@hennalinneachristiansen3124]

I’m half Dane and I do speak the language fluently. I just moved to Copenhagen after 10 years in Barcelona. I have a 6 year old daughter and I got a rather lucrative job here, so as a single mom I’ll take it. A week in I’m already filled with regrets. It’s not the weather nor the darkness (I grew up in Tromsø, arctic Norway), but generally the people are standoffish and smug. Yesterday a woman with a baby in a stroller and a toddler didn’t get any help to get on a train. Adults were standing by with their airpods and phones not even noticing her. In Spain this would never happen, and in the northern parts of Scandinavia this would not be happening either. It’s the illness of hyper-individualism. Who pops the most antidepressants in Europe? I’m happy for all the benefits Denmark shall offer, but I want to be a part of a change of culture. If not I will move as soon as I can. I hope to make some more international friends here, as I haven’t lived in the city since ‘06.

[@hennalinneachristiansen3124]

Sorry for coming off as negative and I do indeed love DK and your content is fire. Thank you for your generous delivery and for shedding light on important topics and conversation. 🥰🙌🏼

[@Bamsebjoern]

Love you guys 🥰🥰 Keep doing what you're doing guys. You're touching a nerve, something, everyone and not just danes, but everyone has had in their lives. I'll just put it like this. 😉(not you, but people who read this) If you're new to Denmark. If possible, never move to a "big" city. It's a cultural shock to my 78 year old dad when he goes "out of bounds". 😉 We danes are friendly, we are... But we're so used to it . Us introvert dingleberries (Danes) not engaging in random conversations isn't you being rude, or us being withdrawn. We're just used to go about our day not giving a F**k. But in all seriousness. If you move here, and feel sad, alone, insecure, awkward in social gathering etc. etc. Don't feel weird, or misplaced. Just relax.😉 Every single Dane around you is trying to make you feel included, safe and/or not weird... Making it epicly weird.. 🤣🥴🤯 We suck at that.🤣🤦‍♀

[@BenjaminVestergaard]

Never feel guilty for making us switch to English... almost everyone below 45 are fluent enough in English to understand humour and puns in English. And we're guilty ourselves, at the slightest suspicion that we're talking to an international, we switch to English... It works with virtually all the EU citizens that come here because of the free movement of workforce, and it works with virtually all the non-EU immigrants we meet during a regular week. But of course, when we know that someone is fluent in Danish, we'll use our baby language. Anyway, I've been used to using English as my professional language since 2005... so if you ask me about anything work related, I actually know how to describe it in English better than in Danish. Don't feel guilty. Edit: yes, seasonal depression is a thing, even amongst us that grew up here. I would prefer to refer to a "trailing partner" as slipstreaming instead. Once you're in and approved by the authorities, there's nothing holding you back from overtaking 😄 Your ambitions are your limits once you've been accepted as a resident. And a lot of companies in DK can really use a bit of the US "go-getter" mentality.

[@hexiaheks]

Its not just moving to another country or other cultures. Even moving to another city or community can gives some challenges

[@drumstick74]

"...Your laundry machine calling you a slut"😂 LOL As you probably already know, 'Slut' in Danish means 'The End' or in this case perhaps 'Done'.☺

[@LisKofod]

Do your fam and fiends come to visit? Thats also very important 😊

[@PrebenH.Andersen]

Dem hører vi faktisk aldrig om!

[@srenh.jrgensen1798]

So sorry your washing machine uses 4-letter words! 😳 Maybe there’s a way to change the language 😊 Good story, though!

[@AsaMakesMusic]

Hellø

[@jens-christianpetersen367]

Høw åre yøu døing?

[@treefrog101]

😂 "Your washing machine calling you a slut" -på is a word that gets me because I grew up in Teletubby Land where one of the characters is Po (and I had a friend in childhood whose surname was Poe). 😂 I can't take any adult in Danish seriously når nogen nævner at de har tøj på. ...it doesn't matter who is saying it, feels like I am on the set of Sesame Street. 😂

[@dentalgoon9965]

Remember Copenhagen is NOT Denmark!

[@MK-vh9wz]

USA so much easy er??????

[@RobeTrotting]

YES, watch the video and we explain why moving abroad is always going to have in impact on your mental health. You're going out of your way to be offended and/or express a negative view of our country of origin for no reason - which is an example of something that negatively impacts the mental health of people who move abroad. So thanks for that! 😊

[@Gert-DK]

The winter depression is real, even among Danes. In my opinion two things have worsened it the last 40 years. We do not eat enough kale anymore, especialy greenkale. Look it up, see what greenkale is about. It is superfood. As a kid we had kale approx. once a week. Check the Germans, they dont suffer as much of depression as we do, they still have their saurkraut. Second. Many hugs the couch during the dark period, worst thing. Stay active, sports or project you have, why do it in the summer, if it can be done during winter. Why do you think we are so good in handball and badminton? Because many Danes play it on a amateur basis during winter, kids too. Hard to find friends in Danmark? Bullshit. It's funny, non english speakers find friends, even Russians who aint well liked for the moment. You two globes, you have been here so many years and you speak very little Danish. It is actually embarising that you complain over having no friends. I had a neigbor who spoke very bad Danish, so we spoke in English, until I found out she had been here in 14 years. I gave up being her friend, even though we speak English, we prefer Danish and most of our dirty jokes doesnt function in English. Learn the language, for your own sake. You should have done it when you arrived, your brains were much faster then.