First Time Hearing Would Anyone Care by Citizen Soldier | Suicide Survivor Reacts

If you, like most of us, never had Happiness 101 in school, let me be your teacher! Learn the EXACT steps I took in overcoming clinical depression, addiction, self harm and going from ready to end it all to happier than I thought possible. amandawebsterhealth.com/happi...
I have a special project in the works that will change the mental health world. Patreon pledges will be going toward that (and ongoing projects.) Patreons get priority song reactions, twice a month private Zoom calls with me, personalized pictures, exclusive reactions and a peek at upcoming reactions. EVERY SINGLE DIME GOES TOWARD MY MENTAL HEALTH OUTREACH!!!!!
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This is a request from my Friday Let's Talk Mental Health stream and is my first time hearing Would Anyone Care by Citizen Soldier. It definitely hit deep because I know these thoughts all of too well. These are such common thoughts for people struggling.
Follow me on IG: @mentalamanda
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- Suicide Hotlines by Country: tinyurl.com/ftuart38
Recommended Playlist (VLOG: My Mental Health Journey)
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Recommended Video (First Time Hearing Maybe It's Time by SIXX AM | Recovered Addict Reacts)
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[@MentalAmanda]

💖Keep the mental health conversation going by sharing your story here in the comments. No matter where you are in your journey, you have a safe place here to share your struggles and accomplishments without judgment. This is how we shatter the mental health stigma.💖 And if you need some direction and would like me to be your Happiness teacher, you can sign up for my Happiness Boost course here: amandawebsterhealth.com/happiness-boost/

[@scottlally8374]

Next song by citizen soldier called stronger than my strom

[@icravedeath.1200]

Could you react to fake plastic trees by Radiohead please.

[@ireallyreallyhategoogle]

Yes, being the answer to would anyone care, is the reason i'm still alive.

[@f2fbassist169]

I've never done ok in therapy. I've always been the "rock" for every one else. I haven't been ok since. I"came home" and right now this is kinda just me screaming at the walls kzbin.info/www/bejne/jJPEd32fjMunrc0

[@coreymartin1890]

You should check out the nearest songs just released today cause this is your sign part 2 released toady, i recommend the song this is your sign that hits really hard.

[@CitizenSoldier]

Thank you for such a great reaction!

[@MentalAmanda]

Thank you guys so much for watching! Would love to have you guys join the other artists (ex. Billy Bob Thornton, John Corabi, Teddy Andreadis) who have stopped by and talked mental health with me. Would you be down to a chat next month (mental health awareness month)? I think it would be very insightful. Love you guys already and I am only a few songs in!

[@firetrucksrule07]

Love ya guys. Please keep what you guys do going.

[@_gacha._.heart_1578]

And ty for the wonderful song that a lot of us including me can relate to 🧡

[@wrightfamily7381]

@@MentalAmanda there new álbum comes out next wensday

[@amandahendrix8980]

Do you know Mha if so I think this would be awesome for Deku/Izuku Midoriya

[@ShaynePlayzGamez]

Citizen Soldier is a band about depression, suicide, and other mental health struggles. The lead singer Jake attempted suicide in 2013 and created this band to show that you can make it through all the struggles. The band has helped me a lot all their songs have related to me to a T its insane how they make you feel.

[@coreymartin1890]

Jake Segura actually wrote the lyrics to let it burn while in the hospital after his suicide attempt and in the song he is referring to "kid" as himself the song is a reminder to him and everyone else to never give up!

[@kampybballer21]

I broke down just hearing that, but in a good way. I am still here because my flicker has always been more like an all-consuming inferno, which ended up burning me indiscriminately. Music is dear to me as it was undoubtedly the crutch I had left to lean on while saving myself. I am beyond overjoyed to finally learn there is a whole band dedicated to my exact purpose and being. Their music and commercial success has inspired and motived me beyond words, and WILL end up being a leading narrative in my own story. Though my story and songs I will reach the ears and minds of those whom need what I so desperately begged for. Bless the futures we all still have.

[@blackphoenixgirl2236]

I was in a dark place when I started listening to citizen soldier the first song that got me into them is the weight of the world. Their music I can really relate to. Their music is more of a therapy then going to a therapist for me.

[@archedfallen4326]

@@blackphoenixgirl2236 I kinda agree with you there I've been in therapy before and then I found music not only citizen soldier but also other artists and different types of music I'm not really going to go into but I used to just hit walls and stuff till I didn't feel the pain of life any more but now I can say that I'm actually here to stay for good and I'm happy about my choice

[@aubreylong9481]

I didn't know that

[@davidnissim589]

I personally know Jake, Citizen Soldier's lead singer, and he's an absolute gem of a human. He's been through a lot of bad things, and now he makes music to help inspire other people to never give up. He also helped me on my musical path as well. Amazing man, all around.

[@tonybooy9807]

Hi David, I'm a veteran with PTSD amongst other things. Please thank Jake from me, his songs have really hit home with me. I would not be here today without people like him... Give him my regards please and good luck with your musical future bro!

[@davidnissim589]

@@tonybooy9807 will do!

[@mikefrazier3412]

i would love to meet this person that your talking about but i know it will never happen. im walking down a very very narrow road in hopes of falling off but im still here so far.

[@davidnissim589]

@@mikefrazier3412 go to any of Citizen Soldier's shows! They interact with their fans very often, and Jake is very friendly and open

[@gravedigger3518]

By the songs he did I can see that his songs are heart touching honestly some of his songs have me tear up and I don’t cry very easy lol he does a great job on his music

[@Hana0nana0]

I immediately started crying when the first sentence was sung. I really hate to see people struggling but at the same time it's kind of a relief maybe? to see that I'm not the only one.

[@ak2nda695]

We all struggle in our own way. No one is alone in that. Amanda's vision with helping people with mental health issues is much needed. Take care and don't be afraid to ask for help from anyone, that's always the hardest part no matter what your struggle is.

[@Hana0nana0]

@@ak2nda695 I agree. and yes! I'm really grateful for what she's doing. thank you so much. I've been feeling better recently. hope you're having a great day :)

[@gravedigger3518]

I feel you on that

[@lordthorran9756]

That song hit me really hard. It’s like someone saw my soul and thoughts and put it into a song.

[@jessicasuzanne___]

Same tbh I tried k!lling myself in the shower last year.. ik that probably sounds a little strange but still I'm so glad I'm still here

[@jasonmatkovich6342]

That is ALL their songs

[@niightmaire8490]

For me I hate myself, hits super hard.

[@ObliviatedSoul]

Every single Citizen soldier song feels like they've taken an in depth look at my soul. This song, the moment it starts I'm already fighting off tears but the lyric "I've never felt worthy of love" always causes the dam to break. Again this band is SO amazing and so important, I hope you'll continue to check out more of their work. It's hard what to choose, honestly all their songs are worth checking out.

[@singingwolf8997]

I stumbled onto this song by total accident, and just the first few lines had me reliving some long repressed memories of asking myself these same questions when I was younger. I sobbed through the whole song, and then I just kept pressing replay.

[@user-sw2xp8tl9b]

The easiest possible answer is it wasn't an accident. Coincidence mabey but no accident. I am in same boat and first thing I did was come to Amanda's youtube to hear her reaction. Her videos talk to me from a survivor and a former addict. This is home for me. I come to watch her videos because she is understanding and the way she speaks touches my shoulder and says " It's OK to not be ok, just don't stay in that place too long. You are loved"

[@WhoIs.Aaj..]

If you haven't already I highly suggest the song that started it all, Let it burn, wrote down in a hospital after the main vocalist tried to commit suicide but survived. I greatly appreciate them and you, I've never had someone dissect a song like this so well so I'm really grateful, Thank you.

[@KaiLucasZachary]

I've watched this video multiple times so came back to comment again: I love how you nodded yes at the lyric "Would anything change?" ... but then you shook your head no at "Would you all be just fine?" We need more people like you in the world who genuinely understand this feeling. Your reaction is amazing. If only the basic population could understand what people with mental illness go through and then the people who are left to deal with the aftermath of a suicide.

[@lostlothbrok7156]

Tears, tears and more damn tears 😭 this was a knife in the heart twisting, awesome stuff 🖤🖤🖤

[@chrismadden132]

Hey Amanda I want to thank you. Finding your KZbin channel has really opened my eyes to why I wasn't killed in Iraq and Afghanistan and why I didn't kill myself that night I first heard Save Me by Jellyroll. Two nights ago I got a phone call from a battle buddies wife and she was frantic. Her husband was locked in his cellar and was planning to commit suicide. She asked if I could help. I told her to tell him to answer my call on his cell phone when I call. I hung up with her and called him. He answered and I told him I needed to tell him something. I told him about me almost committing suicide. We talked for 4 hours when he finally went up the stairs and asked the police to take him to a mental hospital so he could check in. I'm traveling to Washington state Monday to visit him in person.

[@damiankynoch7724]

Dude, I've got no words, as I've got no realistic comparison in my life. Sounds kinda empty, but stay strong, and your buddy too

[@chrismadden132]

@@damiankynoch7724 I will and your words show the compassion vets dearly need

[@johnbubba1143]

@@chrismadden132 yo man. That's rough. But thankfully you were there for your battle buddy. You had his back when he needed it. Massive respect man.

[@ak2nda695]

I hope your friend gets the help he needs. He and his family are blessed to have you in his life. I'm sure it's not the only reason you are alive, it's humbling to think that you being there for your friend is part of your path in life. You didn't end your life so you could save his. You might not have known it and maybe it only a small part, but I guarantee it is the most meaningful thing to his family. Please share this channel with your friend(s) and let him (them) know your sacrifice for our country is greatly appreciated. It is sad to me that people think if you didn't die in battle that you didn't make a sacrifice. Anyone who sees the horrors of war do sacrifice their mental health. Thank you for helping your friend you're awesome.

[@chrismadden132]

@@ak2nda695 I owe him my life literally. In Iraq he took a bullet for me. Talking him down was the least I could do.

[@phillipweaver8484]

wow , what an amazing song,, first time hearing it. really loved what you said about suicide not ending the pain but just transferring to others. the main reason i have not turned out the light.

[@gomezmunoz584]

Citizen Soldier is awesome... I feel like they are singing about my life.. I can relate to their songs. I have suffered through for 71 years and still struggling. There are two more songs you should listen to "This is Your Sign" and "Still Breathing".

[@wrightfamily7381]

Both are great songs

[@darkwolfgaming499]

this song came on my pandora 13 minutes after I was informed about my friends suicide. I stop talking to him after he and I had a falling out. it kills me cause he tried to reach out to me and I was so mad at him. now I feel so much regret for not helping him. this song is the only connection I have to him now. thank you for reacting to it.❤

[@MentalAmanda]

He knew below his Shadow that you still cared. His struggles just outweighed his coping mechanisms. It's not your fault. 💖

[@conv1cted752]

Ty so much again for your words of caring an sympathy. I was having a bad day and watched this reaction. I love this song and band in general. You are amazing and even over the internet, on KZbin, your words are power. Be blessed. 4+ years clean an sober an still going strong.

[@MentalAmanda]

Proud of you!

[@youber117]

Thank you Amanda Your voice is carrying the sound of everyone needing to be heard. This is the first time I've ever commented on a video. Please keep going. You give a voice to those who have none.

[@cephquepheas]

Finally more Citizen Soldier on the channel!! Of all the people that I would hope to see more reactions to Citizen Soldier for, yours are the ones I look forward too!! And this song specifically is one that I was hoping to see eventually!! This song means so so so much to me. To be fair, almost all of Citizen Soldiers songs hold a very special place within me, but this song specifically is one that has been the knot that holds fast and doesn't let me go, even when I myself would rather let it all slip away. Amazing reaction!! Loved all of your input and I hope you have yourself an awesome day!!

[@dylanthomas725]

This song has so many of my own feelings in it. And I love that you are reacting to it ❤️

[@deniseshephard3347]

Thank you citizen soldier every song you create really hits home for me and I can relate in so many ways I thank Citizen Soldier for everything they do for people like myself

[@Pipboy31]

Very strong message from yourself at the end of Your video: You are your own knight who has to fight for yourself. Never heard words so true and clear. In the end that has been what helped me winning the fight over my depression some years ago. Noone can fight for You. You need to do it yourself. It´s hard but it pays off and it´s getting better over time. Thank You for what You´re doing here on youtube. Please continue. Greetings from Germany.

[@axioswolf3821]

First time to your channel, but I am a big Citizen Soldier fan. This song always brings many tears, but your analysis and positive words mean so much. I can't thank you enough. You have a new subscriber. This song was the first Citizen Soldier song that I played for my wife and we both bawled the whole way through. I think it was the first time that she got a level of understanding of what I go through...especially the line "I've never felt worthy of love". Again, thank you for you wonderful video.

[@KaiLucasZachary]

The reaction was amazing in itself, but then you had an instrumental of "One More Light" playing at the end. I'm in absolute tears.

[@thebadgerman1211]

This song is so very amazing it helps me through my worst days. And thank you so very much I needed to hear this.

[@elven4648]

I’ve watched several different reactions to this song. This is the first time that I have actually cried! Thank you. For both your reaction and your positive affirmations. With this one video you won a new subscriber. There are so many others I’d love to see you react to. Irreplaceable, Bedroom Ceiling, This Is Your Sign, Just Be Happy, and several others

[@nickmoortgat3345]

same man its hard for me to show emotion but i have alot empathy so when someone cry it goes easier

[@jacobboykin-ex2hk]

Thank you for the good videos you bring all the time, I wish I had lots of friends like you

[@ledbetter17p]

@Mental Amanda thank you so much for doing this song. I hold this song very close to me personally because I struggle with depression and anxiety every single day. And this song is 1000% how i feel on the inside on those bad days. The things you said in the video about how others react around us people who have these problems is so true. For the past 15 years I have felt alone and not wanted and stuck in that rut with no way out. When I voice how I am feeling I notice more than often people are afraid to even answer or try to be there for you. It's even harder when it's family that does that to you. I have been able to pick out who the real people are in my life from the way they react. Out of those real people just recently in the past month I have found someone who means the world to me and I would do anything in my power for this person. She is now the love of my life and when I am having a bad day it's like she makes it her mission to be there for me and show me that love that I need to pull through. Depression and anxiety are no laughing matter yes those feelings are in our head but don't be those people who just sit there and say "it's all in your head" because that makes things worse for us and makes us feel even more like people don't care. Approach it differently and just show that you care by having a conversation and showing that person there are people out there that are by your side and willing to be there for you in your times of need. Once again thank you for doing a reaction to this song and keep up the great videos.

[@MentalAmanda]

I had a guru once tell me that something being in your head is the worst place that it can be because you can't just walk away from it.

[@wendigodestroyer665]

Ever since I discovered them through my journey through depression this band has easily became my favorites every song and every album surprises me with how deep and how much they relate to you.

[@hayley.p01]

Thank you for talking about everything and letting us know we aren’t alone❤️ Citizen Soldier have amazing songs, my favorite one to listen to when I’m in a bad place would have to be If I Surrender. It’s such an amazing song

[@gnrwestwell694]

So great to see people sharing and reacting to this song... I was very close to giving up but in that moment this song came on and saved me from the biggest regret they probably don't know this but citizen soldier saved my life

[@JadeMarie08]

Wow...I literally have no words...your reaction...was how I felt when I first heard this song...CS is literally my favorite band...theyve helped me, and they continue to help...every day....I know a good amount of their songs...by heart...that's how much I love their music..

[@adventureswithjosh1897]

Honestly I've been going through a lot and this song really makes me cry because it it's so personal to me I just have a lot of stuff going on in my life and I feel those thoughts often your words really helps me thank you with this song combined is just incredible i can't thank you enough

[@marcosro5891]

The plot in you - letters for a dead friend, is...really deeper and the feeling on the song is just...uff

[@jeff8228]

A really "For sure nobody has heard this song" that is all about mental health is "Last Chance" by Anybody Killa. Great song and the video is pretty heavy. Maybe worth a watch if you're looking for something out of left field. Love the channel, keep it up. 👌

[@deestils3011]

Awesone Video Mental Amanda... you are such an inspiration

[@roncardenas2582]

So love this band, they sing about what most of us can't say out loud, a light in the dark if you will. They get me everytime. Great reaction to another awesome song by them ❣

[@dragonchild4491]

This song showed up on my feed in a really dark time for me, like no warning, it was about a year old at that point, and didn't relate to anything else I watched on here, so literally no reason for the algorithm to suggest it to me, and I can't say for certain that this song was what changed it for me, but the fact that someone felt the exact same thing I was feeling in that moment? It helped. More than I can say. I am revisiting some of this music cause it really is just so beautiful and the message is so powerful, but I think the biggest thing for me was realizing that their are people out there who feel this pain, and I'm not all alone. So thx Mental Amanda, you managed to word a lot of what I feel when I listen to this song. And to a yone out there asking these questions, yeah someone cares. Even if you don't realize it, you've had an impact on everyone you've ever met and at least one of them loves you unconditionally for it.

[@reapthelight]

I love how you broke this down. From someone who battles PTSD from combat, I get it. I face my demons every damn day and I know I am not alone here. However, we have GOT to start embracing an attitude of conquerors not victims. I understand we may never completely remove this from our lives. But we have to shed this cloud of victimhood. If we stay in that frame of mind, we never allow the good or light to shine through. Too many seek the attention and not the help. We all have good and bad days, but it’s time to grab depression in a chokehold and deny it power! Keep up the good work! Sometimes people need to hear that voice which understands and can articulate what they are feeling but they can’t seem to put it into words. You are that voice and you do it so well.

[@MentalAmanda]

I agree wholeheartedly. I refuse to say that I am a 'victim' of sexual assault or abuse. I'm a survivor!

[@firetrucksrule07]

Citizen Soldier is my number one favorite band. Love all their songs. Love what they stand for and more. Much love.

[@thekingslime8334]

i cannot put to words the effect this song has had on me. being able to sing those words at the end has brought me to tears multiple times. and sometimes thats all we want.

[@tonybolen6841]

Well again you have made a grown man cry 😂 but there's nothing wrong with with that thank you so much girl for what you do ❤️

[@johnbubba1143]

Damn these onion slicing ninjas sneaking in here.

[@malefikgamer5446]

That pretty much has described my entire life. I've pushed EVERYONE away and I feel alone now. It's rough because I don't feel like anyone really understands me....hell I don't even know if I understand myself. Package delivered to the wrong address...wow that makes SO much sense to me. When you said that I was thinking to myself that you are saying the right words but I just can't hear them. I don't know how to let down my guard and let the words come through.

[@jibrilamvs]

Citizen Soldier’s music saved my life. Literally. While I never did turn my thoughts of suicide into behaviours; my mental state was exceedingly close to taking that turn. That’s when I came across their music; their song “This Is Your Sign” found me; I listened to it and I’ve been addicted to them ever since. They’ve saved my life and empowered me to continue living. I’m so glad their music has impacted you in such a positive way. I’m happy you are still here with us.

[@keithmeyers1823]

I’m a combat veteran with severe ptsd, depression and anxiety. I was 19 when I deployed to ramadi Iraq. I’ve seen an done some shit that haunts me today. My flashbacks an nightmares feel like I’m back over there. I’ve been back for 17 years. I had 2 brothers commit suicide this yr in the same month. They prepared us for combat but not to come home. Reach out if you suffer from any of these. See ya in Valhalla brothers.

[@MentalAmanda]

I hope you can find strength and your brothers are at peace. Thank you all for your sacrifices in protecting me.

[@skullyradford9746]

Amanda i love you the way you help everyone you help me throw hard times awesome reachions omg this song hits home this is how i feel a lot ive tride to end my life 3 times and im so happy thay got me back couse off my kids and i never tride it again just feel like giving up everything

[@MentalAmanda]

I'm SO happy that you are still here with us and that you are finding some level of healing 💖

[@skullyradford9746]

@@MentalAmanda im so happy to still be here also and your videos help me

[@Falling2Pi3c3s]

Love Citizen Soldier's music, they keep me going. They help me to fight my demons day in and day out. Depression is so exhausting and to keep on fighting and just survive does get too much. All you can do is try to not give up, not easy.

[@joshcooper6431]

Oh wow this is so my reality sometimes when a certain situation or encounter arises. So many tears right now this song hit me to my soul.

[@mcginnig]

This one does hit home. I have been able to distance myself from the words now that use to start the darkness. I used to always hate the night after being divorced 3 times and staying alone because of the wrong people who were in it. I have family and kids and grandkids who love me which I think helps but I had to move away from my two daughters and the grandkids to help my mom and dad. My son lives with me which has helped but still missing the kidos and daughters. Recently my dad passed from Dementia/Altheimer's, but I can't go back to the kids yet because of my mom who is still with us. I get the feeling because my brother who has always with our parents will need help after that. Uggggg So I am trying hard to teach him to survive without mom but that's a hard one. I just have way too much on my plate for most to deal with, but I keep going. Still it nice to hear you talk which calms me and give me a great feeling. Thank you.

[@Max-fd9im]

Your reaction to this song is what's keeping me going rn. I have severe social anxiety and chronic depression. It's so hard to reach out for help, but I know I desperately need it. I almost cried when you mouthed "let me in".

[@Ryoko_01]

Aww. 🥺 Keep going, dude. 😌

[@davidgaps6589]

Even the smallest step is still a step. You just reached out. Now we see you, and you are not alone.

[@MentalAmanda]

I see you. Reaching out for help can be hard, but it takes SO much pressure off once we do it!

[@MissSirenita]

Hey girlie, new here just discovering your channel. I’ve dived into the rabbit hole of Citizen Soldier and the many times the songs saved my life by just being heard is outstanding. Current favorite is their newest song: Still Breathing. It’s amazing and gives me the same vibes as this song, specifically the ending.

[@colourr2222]

This band has helped me immensely through horrible things. I heard this song a few months after I attempted and it sends chills down my spine every time I hear it and after I heard it for the first time, I felt like I had power over my life again

[@virgilevans9967]

You know a person is Worth a Thousand Words When you Stand on the Field or just Sitting at home waiting to help Someone in all I've listened to this Band for a while now and Each Song Gets Better than the last. I've Seen and been through hardships and Times where I was Put to the Test I've been a Survivor all my life bc of the Scars I Carry on the inside that Haunt Me bc of the Damage that had Been Done to Me long ago

[@timm2428]

Feel every word of that song and so glad thats not where i am anymore,,to anyone out there listening to this and feeling that ,open up reach out you are so worth the fight so worth tomorrow. Trust me I pulled the trigger and im so grateful im alive now.

[@1999657]

I relate to this song in so many ways my depression constantly puts this thought in my head,. I suffer from severe depression and some days are harder than other days. But i don't ever want to give up i still have so much more to accomplish. Im getting my masters right now and i just passed my special education teacher certification. THis band is awsome and has allot of great song. THis is my first video and i like the message.

[@Mightyquack89]

I'm about to lose the last of my family so this question crosses my mind far more frequently than it should... I genuinely feel like giving up but you and others are helping so much

[@MentalAmanda]

I've lost mine too. I'll be your family!

[@lilian_fortane]

Citizen Soldier is one of the best band that I had never listened Thank you so much! Love from France

[@TheSkitzoDrengr]

This is the second time you've talked me off the ledge. For that I thank you.

[@areilly263]

Citizen Soldier's songs are some of the most moving and emotional songs i've ever listened to. Especially when going through thoughts and feelings such as these. "weight of the world" and "i am not okay" are another two incredible songs by them.

[@justsomeawesomeperson6396]

Yup. I still have the same username, but i’ll change it once my headache stops from being ill. Anyway. This song kinda reminds me of when i was in a relationship with a girl who really struggled with suicidal thoughts at times. I still sometimes dream of how sometimes late at night i had to force her down until she got too tired and fell asleep, just so she couldn’t do anything to hurt herself. Or i had to find her in the woods because she ran away saying she would end her live. It happened a lot, but i’m glad i was always able to help, even if she hated me for it. And i’m glad i even had the courage if she threatened me. I had a dream about it again last night, and i’m not sure why. It’s not something i think about really, but i never talked about it either. I’m just happy that she’s better now and that she found her own way in life, even if we had to go our separate ways because of it.

[@gordonmcmullan1087]

As someone who does suffer depression and has a few failed suicide attempts I just want people to know there is no cure. Many of us are able to treat it and quite the voices that tell us we don't deserve anything but those voices will always be there. But we need help. The constant mental assault we weaken the strongest defences. Thank you for posting this video. And showing others who may have someone going thru this the fight is never over. But each day we live is another victory. God bless

[@Butmunch666]

Thank you for all of this.

[@diamondbentley7469]

Citizen Soldier is my favorite band because they're songs help me through my darkest days. 😭

[@brianconnelly2906]

I once thought of eating a bullet and stop anyone from doing it. The thing that stopped me was one simple thing...I said something about it and others stepped in. I was in the military and what happened was kept in-house. I saw others who were having struggled worse than me and changed how I handled problems. I tapped into my inner strength and have been running with it ever since 👍

[@stephenscheitzach2124]

I've been in that position as well this song actually made me think about it and not go through with it. Having said that I stand with you in caring about people who don't see themselves worthy of anything

[@brandoncooper4209]

The first time I ever heard this song and this band I was ready to take a plunge off a parking garage, and a random stranger came up next to me, and played this song and just sat with me for hours while I broke down, that was the first time I ever felt that much compassion from another human, and too this day he still checks on me, it's amazing how much 1, just one interaction could make an impact on your life

[@MentalAmanda]

You got a Chester too! This makes me so happy!

[@annaannabella1236]

@MentalAmanda You must have really moved the band because I was watching that exact video and as soon as it was over I scrolled down and your video was in the top 5 video suggestions under their video. Im a survivor as well, but I didn’t need human help to pull through it. All of the ones I gave clear and obvious hints at to help me turned a blind eye or wanted to stick me in the insane/physic ward. Even my own family. So I turned to the ONLY other thing I knew that I could fully rely upon. The animals that were closest to me (may they rest in eternal peace). It’s thanks to Jebbie (big dog breed) and Classy (mountain horse) that I was even able to pull through and turn my life around. After they showed me how to live, I stopped caring about death and all the bulling. Thank you for making this video because to myself as well as many of hers t shows that you have a voice and speak to those that need your love and kindness. Congratulations on pulling through as well.

[@MentalAmanda]

My pups, Paris, Mirage and Cairo helped me heal as well. Hope all of our fur babies are running free somewhere

[@hero-kun2314]

I'm glad you shared your pain with your watchers and even shared your past experiences and I hope you are doing well today and screw the people who hurt you. You are lucky you still have people who cared for you. Unfortunately, I don't have that but you know what I have? Myself ☺️, I care for myself

[@MentalAmanda]

And now you have ME. And this community of amazing weirdos!

[@damienosullivan193]

@@MentalAmanda weird is my favourite form of humour lololololol

[@billyb9482]

This really hits home. Quite often I ask this question. Asking it as I'm typing this. The feeling gets better after a while

[@bartangel4867]

This is very intelligent description and overview. I don't suffer any mental illness (although my doctor disagrees and so do lots of other people) and I never been shot at with an actual weapon. ( i was physically hurt but never shot at) but I can relate to the position that is described in this video and your very good overview of it. maybe I feel this way because this is what I would say but I like the way this music video and you put it. however as far as people bringing you down because they were hurt themselves. While that does happen quite often and I caught myself doing that. Some people have it well and they are still assholes because that is the way they are. and while I want to be loved by my family and my friends and those who mean well and even those who had difficult time and are just lashing out. There are people that i don't care how they feel about me. i just want them to fear me.

[@Starline_Creationz]

This song was so helpful and emotional as a suicide survivor myself 😢❤ Thank you so much, Citizen Soldier!

[@jamiegoddard562]

Me too survived five suicide attempts and three years of self harm dont do that anymore keep shining your light and thank you amanda for being there

[@Starline_Creationz]

We all are here for you, Jamie.@@jamiegoddard562

[@HeyItsCj_1993]

Im new go your channel. I have depression, anxiety and adhd. My depression is really bad right now and I'm going through hell right now trying to improve my life. I dont have a support system and i often sit up when i should be sleeping and just think about everything. This song and others from citizen soldier hit hard for me. I feel completely alone but trying to push for better times.

[@gilbertcole8324]

This band really has kept me from suicide. They say for the most part say how I feel. Really love them

[@Lulu-xl5cm]

Even though there are stuggles every once in a while, I've never had depression and am happy with life. So while I can't relate to this song on a personal level, it's still so powerful and it hits the heartstrings. Stay strong, everyone. You got this

[@draconicghoul1987]

I love this vid! Pls do more Citizen Soldier, all their songs are like this. They are my favorite band because of this and I would love to see your reaction the songs on their new album.

[@pageslater1360]

so deep and meaningful, i live it

[@Necro616]

It's been a minute since I revisited your channel. I hope you're all doing well. I must admit that this song got me a bit choked up. I've been having on again off again harmful thoughts but people like you are making a difference. Thank you for all you do and I hope you keep doing it for a long, long time. If I may make a suggestion for a reaction video, ""Pull Me From The Edge" by "Like a Storm." This song hits me hard everytime I hear it and would love to hear your take on it. Until next time, everyone be as well as you can be.

[@nickharper6682]

I can tell you first hand as a suaside survivor how bad it hits the ones who love you, especually the ones you didnt know loved you, 2 years ago inside my house whitch is wired with security cams everywhere, i took my life, and was found shortly after doing so in time that EMS managed to make my heart beat again, i was found by my mother, father, sister, and brother who came to check in on me as i hadnt texted any of them in a week at the time, now they didnt get my heart going until after i got into the ambulance so my family thought i was gone for good. They told me i ended up flat lining 3 times total, but im still here, first thing i did when i got cleared from the hospital a few weeks later, went into court ordered phyco theropy as a ulturnative to being charged with attempted suaside and yes its a real charge anyways first thing i did was reviewd the security cam footage of that day i died. Because i know how lonly and empty i felt when i took my life and seeing how devistated and scared my family was to find me dead on the floor, it was an hd security cam so i could see the detail and the devistation in there eyes and horror on there faces, because moments before hitting the floor dead i felt i was alone, no one cared and i wasnt loved and was hated by all, but as i watched the horrer show of the cam footage i broke down hard because i could see how loved i was and how people i thought hated me had actually loved me all along, i am fotunate enough to see what suaside did to my family after i died temporarily

[@MentalAmanda]

I am so grateful that you are still here with us and I hope you keep healing 💖

[@cyrusmcintosh3051]

I've been crippled for a short while, it's truly showed me a darker side of people, and a more vulnerable side of myself. I checked myself into a facility via taxi when I was alone.. but I was alone for almost a month, half of that was in a cemetery in Tulsa Oklahoma. I remember hearing voices and talking to people who weren't there. I learned I have schizophrenia which is EXTREMELY terrifying. I thought I was there in the cemetery for a couple days, I was apprehended by law enforcement.. thank God because it turned out I've been there for weeks. I was severely emaciated and on the verge of freezing to death. I was thankfully rescued and don't get me wrong at the time it was tremendously terrifying. But today I'm sooo thankful! Psychosis is unbelievably powerful and if you even suspect that you might be close, please go to someone you love. I never knew I was a missing person.. and I never knew that some people.. even considered me deceased. It was so cold. Anyways I'm sorry it's so long, but I felt like leaving this.. just in case❤️

[@MentalAmanda]

This is a crazy story with a wonderful ending! I am so glad that you made and got the help you deserve!

[@SirWigglesALot]

Felt this song a few times especially throughout the last few years.

[@shego8526]

this song really is a great reminder that we are not alone when it comes to depression

[@faanvugeincynicalassassin]

I wish I could have given this message to my brother last year. My whole family has struggled horribly with depression and suicide, and he finally couldn't hold on. God, I miss him

[@MentalAmanda]

I'm so sorry that he lost his battle. Would you like to tell us more about him?

[@liliithalickora78]

I have mental issues and all of the people I have in my life support me and the music from citizen soldier I get it I've been through a lot of these things too. I hope you live a happy life, this music truly does a lot. helps you realise that there is people out there will care for you, for just being who you truly are ^^.

[@bobbybourgoin9129]

Thank you for introducing me to this band !

[@kaede02mangaka-58]

This song is a masterpiece

[@madgriff8630]

Your channel has never popped up tonight at a breaking point here it is thank you so much

[@MentalAmanda]

Here if you need to talk 💖

[@madgriff8630]

@@MentalAmanda thank you it’s been tough the last bit but I’m bouncing back means so much

[@Gu3ssWhatsN3XT]

I remember at one point while i was in the air force, i was a trigger pull away from leaving behind everything i'd known, everyone i met and hopefully being in a better place. Had my finger on the trigger while i was out on post away from everyone. That memory still haunts me all these years later but i remember the first time i ever heard this song, it made me think about that time and how much life would have changed if i had pulled that trigger. Not for myself, but my family and friends and even those i was on post with. I broke down so much while i was driving i had to pull over for about 20 minutes just so i could deal with that moment. I still listen to this song just about everyday as a reminder that i made the right decision that day not pulling the trigger. It's such a beautiful song and the story behind when and why it was written is just a testament to just how powerful it really is

[@MentalAmanda]

Glad you are still here. Thank you for all the sacrifice you made for us

[@briansgamesandanime]

The transfer of pain from me to others is the main reason I haven't at least tried to end it all. I feel I'm a burden on people. I would think it's just in my head if not for the fact that I've been told I'm a burden on them. So I suffer in silence. I've done things in my past that I loath myself for. And it's alienated me from the people I've hurt. I can't change the past but I try to be a help to others I see struggling. Thank you for reacting to this song. I'm not ashamed to say I cried like a baby when I first heard it. It's the very words I scream to myself everyday. If it's not too much to ask, could you react to Blue October's "Hate Me"?

[@MentalAmanda]

The people that said that to you have their own demons and pain. When a hurt person doesn't know how to process or manage the hurt, they try to project it and transfer it to other people. You aren't a burden. You're worthy of love and patience. There are plenty of people who will understand and will see your value, myself included.

[@briansgamesandanime]

@@MentalAmanda I try not to be negative towards people like that. They're fighting their own battles just as I'm fighting mine. My depression and anxiety will be a life long battle and I've finally come to terms with that. Although I do have good days too.

[@Kittyguirl]

I remember the first time listening to this song as I was in a really dark place and I was sitting in the bathroom at college contemplating taking my own life and then I thought maybe music would help and then I heard this and I broke down In tears as I felt less alone and proud of myself for making it this far and then I'm still struggling daily with it and college isn't making it any better but I'm still fighting citizen soilder has put a purpose to my life i still struggle so much with Trauma/ PTSD/ DID/BPD and college is really tough im only 17 (English school system) and I'm already literally fighting for my life but i have been 7 months clean of attempting and 5-6 weeks clean of self harm and im really proud of myself!

[@MentalAmanda]

Proud of your recovery! College can be very stressful (I'm currently in schol too!) Do you need help checking out resources at your school for support?

[@user-wm5go1cb6x]

when i first saw you and this video and told you about my. wife and her mental health problems she is getting help and is coming on very well,she doesn't have all the bad feelings now.

[@MentalAmanda]

I'm so happy for you guys!

[@sarcasticallygenuine6852]

I would highly recommend Citizen Soldier to anyone struggling with mental health, and even people who aren't. Their songs speak to a wide range of experiences, and listening to them has been cathartic (and insightful, when it comes to other's struggles that I do not personally relate to). I've been trying to remind myself that everyone is fighting a war in their lives, even if I can't see it, and it's helped me stay patient when interacting with other people.

[@diversifytheradio1504]

He wrote his first song in a mental hospital and is now a licensed therapist. My favorite songs are I'm Not Ok, and Reason to Live. Must listens!

[@adambaker6794]

The ideas stated in the song are things I've thought about for months now and they just are very difficult to fight at this point, but I'm still going.

[@justsomeawesomeperson6396]

And you can keep going. You are strong, and we’re all glad you’re here. I’ve been there too a lot of times. Even quite recently. That you’re talking about it is a very important first step to fixing what’s wrong. I hope you start feeling better soon mate. We support you

[@adambaker6794]

@@justsomeawesomeperson6396 thanks! Name ironically helps this message lmao

[@MentalAmanda]

The fact that these are lyrics in a song shows that there are MANY people that feel just like you. Many have faced this and overcome it. You got this!

[@ashleymartin9656]

Amanda, You are worth fighting for. I wish I could meet you, give a hug

[@ericv5435]

I've been dealing with depression and anxiety for years. Also had suicidal thoughts very rarely and hurt myself a couple times. I know I have people that love and care for me and that I matter but its still hard. This is my absolute favorite band now. Every song is amazing and most are relatable to me and a lot of other people.

[@MentalAmanda]

Proud of you for continuing to fight. Just know that you aren't alone!

[@adamfontain6701]

Ive known about this song for a while. Ive never been able to explain to people how my thoughts work. But citizen soldier knows how to put it into words.

[@FatCuddlyPanda]

I remember watching this music video after I failed my attempt at suicide, and I've never felt so miserable, hopless, and outcasted in my life, and then I started thinking how can I prove people wrong because my girlfriend at the time was cheering me on, I was so blinded by my sorrow that I didn't realize what I had, thank you for reacting to this

[@MentalAmanda]

I hope you know that she was toxic human sludge and that you are worthy of love. Glad you're still here!

[@RagnarBoW]

I was in the dark place that this song talks about for a long time. I'd say decades of ceaseless struggle against myself. I started to turn things around about 9 years ago. Therapy was one big step, and changing my diet and exercise to take better care of myself. I was really bad at therapy to start with, and I took some antidepressants (it took a while to find one that seemed to help). One of the most important lessons I took from this part of the journey was to stop trusting the voice that was telling me I wasn't worthy, that no one cared, and that all was worthless. That voice did not have my best interests at heart, would say anything to undermine me and my efforts, and slowly, day by day, I learned to recognize it. And one day, I managed to push it to arms length. It's not easy. The voice is still there. But I'm not in its clutches anymore and the burden is not unbearable. I have the safety net of people who love me now. I managed to climb out of the pit far enough that others heard me calling for help. And with their help, I'm alive. I've spent so long in darkness that I feel I have a lot of catching up to do. If you are in that darkness still, even though it seems like there's no way out, just take that one handhold up. Take that one small step in the right direction. You might surprise yourself for where you end up. There are those, like Amanda, who will reach down to help your journey out of the pit. You just need to give them the opportunity to try. You are worthy, and the voice telling you otherwise is not to be trusted.

[@Xharvisonm]

The thing that broke me was after my 2nd attempt waking up to my husband holding my hand tears running down his face and his broken "why wasn't I enough" I realized then how much my life meant to those around me even if I still don't feel worth much on days I think back to how broken he looked and my resolve to never let him have that look on his face again is enough to pull me through

[@GamesofMischief]

It’s difficult relaying the message to family that are from a older generation. I realize I have to fight for myself but it’s exhausting at times. I’m better now but when I was in a really bad spot it was hard to get my grandparents and uncle to understand. My uncle also has his own struggle but him telling me about all the stuff he went through and telling me that there’s always someone who has it worse that doesn’t help. Sorry for ranting but I needed to vent. Thank You

[@shunt5001]

GREAT SONG, DEEP MESSAGE 👌