Doctor REACTS to Heartstopper (Season 2) #2 | Dr Elliott

[@lullustration5775]

I love the word queer as an umbrella term, I can identify with it without having to explain my sexuality to anyone.

[@emmabyrne9274]

It's like a comforting blanket of, "you don't have to say more, you don't have to *know* more. Just know that you're not alone"

[@danieloneal7137]

Completely agree ❤

[@mauritious1]

Exactly! I feel the same way!! It's much easier for me to say I'm queer!

[@Liebling_li]

This ❤❤❤❤

[@letsmadi7577]

Yess, for me it's very much that, an easier way to just say you're not cis/het without having to explain much more. English isn't my first language tho, so I really didn't have any other association to that word before hearing it in the lgbt community, idk if I would feel as comfortable with it then. There are some words in portuguese "reclaimed" by the community that I still feel really uncomfortable saying...

[@NickNelsons_bigsis]

Nick acting towards Imogen like the big brother he wished David was to him is as beautiful as it is sad.

[@Nilen96]

I think it’s a quite common misconception that asexuality is tied to libido. Asexuality means not feeling (or feeling less) sexual attraction towards others. It’s still possible to have a libido. Personally, I am somewhere on the grey spectrum and I definitely have libido, I just don’t want others involved in that (most of the time anyways).

[@DoubleBlack2.0]

Thank you for sharing this! I love learning. ❤

[@nataliescott9287]

I was thinking about commenting this as well! Libido is separate from asexuality. Ace people can totally have a high libido, but they (mostly) do not feel attraction to others or want partnered sex, just as non-ace people can have a low libido but still desire/feel attraction towards others. It's all a spectrum. :)

[@arjay1016]

This is me, too. My mom keeps wanting to get my hormones checked to fix my low libido, but the libido is fine lol. I just don't want partnered sex.

[@AmarthwenNarmacil]

Came here to say that! I'm aroace and I definitely have libido (although it got lower as I grew older), but it is not directed at anyone and I don't want/need anyone else to get involved in it.

[@limner123]

Today I learned: I’m demisexual, which is frustrating in part because when I explain that people are like “Me too! I also prefer to have an emotional connection to my sexual partners.” You tickled my brain, and I read a little more, and now I understand that this ties into the spectrum you’ve described. Which seems like it might help me when trying to be understood. Thanks for your honest and informative communication!

[@Nellipusen]

As an asexual person, the way they dealt with asexuality on bojack horseman was Exceptional! The kind of representation I wouldn't even have dared to dream of

[@oliverharris60]

I think that the way they deal with Charlie’s mental health in the next couple of episodes is so important. Brief enough to not be triggering (which is so difficult with ED behaviours) but with enough emotional depth that it’s not tokenised or romanticised. It has a reason. I tested up because I’d never seen it talked about so realistically and so ideally. It was the same in the novels and I was so pleased it transferred well to screen!

[@cheesecake7274]

I actually don't know how I feel about it, depending on how it will be explored in later seasons. I don't like the stereotypical emphasis on control, as a professional in the ED field I feel like there should be much more focus on attachment issues as the true cause instead of control issues. It also doesn't seem to isolate or completely take hold of Charlie's life, which is an accurate depiction for many teens who go through mild and short lived issues with food, but fails to really do justice to the devastation eating disorders usually bring. They are so deadly, all consuming and people who have serious eating disorders are really and truly only a shell of a person. I just hope it won't be a small side topic, or gets fixed without therapy... But I didn't read the novels, so I have no idea yet. It just makes me anxious.

[@enryks9586]

@@cheesecake7274 I've read all the comics published and without going into details I can reassure you that the topic will become central throughout volume 4 and I guess therefore in the third season. The author deals with it in a very serious and professional way and at the same time with great love for these characters. It's amazing how volume 4 is so hard to read, extremely moving in some moments, yet still manages to maintain the loving tone that accompanies all of "Heartstopper".

[@katekolpan771]

​@@cheesecake7274Without spoiling it, it's a major plot point and a serious issue for Charlie and everyone around him. It's also related to another issue which hasn't been brought up yet. If Alice, follows her own narrative there will be no way to put in on the back burner or have it in the background next season. The trick will be to do that in a way that isn't insanely triggering and/or so dark that it runs counter to the ethos of the show.

[@oliverharris60]

@@cheesecake7274 That’s understandable - without spoiling it, it isn’t a side topic and there is therapy! It’s interesting you feel that way as a professional. As someone who’s suffered from an ED, I feel that the control aspect isn’t usually touched on in media; they usually focus on appearance. I personally teared up at a conversation in the following episode because I’d never seen it so simply put, and so not over-exaggerated. Also, I find it a relief that they’re not delving too deep into the horror of EDs, because that can be triggering and even romanticising in this context, as it is by nature a happy, idealistic show! But I do understand where you’re coming from! It brings interesting discussion, that’s for sure.

[@oliverharris60]

@@enryks9586 Completely agree - I just hope they manage to transfer it to screen, which they seem to have done so far!

[@stephlang3073]

It was a small scene, but I LOVED the coach. Having adults that you can identify with is so so important as a queer youth.

[@danieloneal7137]

I owe so much to Alice Oseman for raising awareness of asexuality. I’m a 49 year old man who has always identified as gay but over the past six months or so I’ve discovered that I’m on the ace spectrum. Reading articles about Heartstopper and Alice’s other books led me down an internet rabbit hole where I eventually learned about demi- and gray sexuality. Obviously, when I was first coming out in the 90s, those terms didn’t even exist. I have a whole new perspective on my life now. If I’d known back in my 20s what I know now, it would have saved me a world of doubt and confusion. As an aside, I’m a GenX’er who grew up mainly in the 80s and I’ve become a big fan of the word queer. (Being all-encompassing and a lot fewer syllables than LGBTQIA+ are definitely benefits.)

[@patrickhanrahan3161]

It is very important you review this season because of the mental health issues that emerge in the story. I had an eating disorder at university and my lesbian roommates sat me down about it. Thing is, I was not alone. A LOT of queer men have EDs. Back in the day, there was no treatment for men so I had to tough it out. Another thing, these disorders can reemerge years later even if you get treatment. You can also have more than one.

[@XOXheartErin]

"They learned about lots of straight stuff, and they didn't turn straight"

[@Kathadrion]

Literally today I saw someone tell someone else they should have their testosterone levels checked as a response to them coming out as asexual, and it's SO frustrating because people just don't get it. And there is little hope of allo people ever getting it, because there is so little ace representation that we might as well be invisible. So I'm just really happy about Isaac's storyline, and I hope it can be helpful for both ace and allo people alike.

[@RosebeeVids]

I DID get mine tested (100% normal, btw). It was a few years later before I heard about Asexuality.

[@brianwilliams81]

I love how even your format of pausing the video to discuss mental health, down to how busy your background is, it's perfect for my ADHD

[@noemisarah98]

Yes, I don't even need a fidget toy when watching these reactions!

[@efoxkitsune9493]

Charlie's eating struggles were so well set up by the showrunners, tbh. I've been noticing this pattern since season 1 and I'm so glad it's finally getting addressed, that Nick is starting to notice too.

[@elliyo4286]

Hello, bisexual and grey-asexual person here! Being bi and ace, I got a lot of exclusionary comments and people telling me I wasn't queer enough. When I came out as bi as a teen, people always told me I had to sleep with a woman to prove it or I wasn't really bi until I had been with a woman. I didn't tell anybody for years. Then, in my early 20s, I told people again and got the same exact comments. Realizing I was ace-spec on top of that made me feel broken for YEARS. I was dealing with so much self-hatred, never feeling queer enough, and feeling so broken, I had a lot of su****al thoughts and urges related to the biphobia and acephobia. I've only been with men, and have been w my partner for almost 10 years, but I felt like I had to force myself to just prove I'm bi to others. Having no ace representation really hurt. The one person I could see myself in (of the handful of canon ace characters) was Florence from 'Sex Education'. When I saw her scene, I cried. Out of relief of seeing myself. I'd love if you would make a dedicated video about ace representation!

[@Harrison_J_T]

Aro ace representation written by an actual aro ace person! Alice has also said when she wrote Solitaire she wasn't aware of asexuality as an identity but thinks Tori is on the aro ace spectrum and this will become canonical in Heartstopper volume 5 (and so could be considered canonical in the show too)

[@RosebeeVids]

Alice Oseman has written 2 novellas about Nick & Charlie. The first, "This Winter" centers around the time Charlie came after inpatient treatment for his mental health & ED.

[@steampunkwilson7435]

I think Todd is literally the best asexual representation out there. And it's nice to see us getting more

[@meganmanning377]

8:44 I couldn't agree more! Todd is amazing! I'm ace and he happened to be my fave character before I knew the story would go in that direction and I was thrilled to see his journey of acceptance! Issac is also excellent, I really appreciate them both!

[@AbisexualCarpenter]

It’s doubly touching when you remember how kit was treated by the internet. He now has his costar saying it’s okay to take as long as he needs to come out.

[@miriamrosemary9110]

You caught on to several story lines so fast!! Good observational skills! Useful for your line of work haha I love this show so much

[@crystalpritchard5065]

I would’ve loved your take on Imogen breaking up with Ben at the table. Most people seem to have loved her takedown but I was concerned that she so vocally brought Charlie into it. Not only because of the mental impact that may have on Charlie but also she’s essentially outing Ben, or at the very least raising the issue for their classmates to ponder. I get that Ben is not fan favourite but outing anyone when they aren’t ready is not ok, even if they have done horrible things.

[@emmabyrne9274]

That's a far criticism; in regards to Imogen potentially outing Ben, when I was watching that scene, I didn't think she made out that Ben was interested in Charlie- but that might say more about how my brain works, than it does how that would come across to other characters. And you're right that it's never okay for someone to be outed, even if they're a jerk.

[@RaineInChaos]

I'll say... I had the same thought in the moment, but given that Charlie seemed pretty happy about the whole thing in the bathroom scene right afterward, I think it was okay. A risk for sure, but one that seems like it worked out here

[@lowkeyproductions6681]

I also think Imogen was acting rashly and wasn’t fully thinking about the ramifications of her words at the moment. She’s the type of person whose emotions get ahead of her brain sometimes. I also think her intention wasn’t to out Ben, it was an unintentional consequence of the implications of her words. However, while there was at least enough doubt by what she meant that I think Ben could dismiss it and brush it aside when people asked, it still was enough to get people gossiping. Not spoiling here, but we do see the ramifications of that in episode 6, and if you watch Imogen’s reaction I think maybe she realizes it’s her fault and feels bad about it. So yeah… long rambly way of saying I think you’re right, it’s not a totally victorious moment like people make it out to be. But I also don’t totally fault Imogen for it, because I don’t think that was her intention and I also don’t think Charlie was too upset about it. I wonder if in a way it was cathartic for him, though it very easily could not have been. Hopefully Imogen learns to start thinking a bit more before she lets her emotions guide her actions.

[@crystalpritchard5065]

@@RaineInChaos my, admittedly controversial, point is that it doesn’t just affect Charlie, how does Ben feel? To me, she at the very least raised the possibility that Ben is interested in Charlie, which could make people wonder about his sexuality. Even Charlie is ok with the outcome, it was still inappropriate from Ben’s perspective. She asked Charlie if anything happened between him and Ben so she was obviously thinking Ben may not be straight.

[@crystalpritchard5065]

@@lowkeyproductions6681 oh I’m interested to see how it’s addressed in episode 6. I’ll admit i haven’t been enjoying this season as much as season 1 so I’ve been a lot slower watching it. I’m on episode 5 but something to look forward to in episode 6.

[@maritdukker]

Honestly, seeing Elliott react to Heartstopper might make my heart melt even more and give me more of a fuzzy feeling than just watching the series myself. Love the videos ❤

[@davidwilds8647]

Making Nick's anxiety more obvious and more like something that might actually be clinically diagnosable was an interesting choice that I hope they'll expand on in season 3

[@marsdeat]

You're definitely not reading too far into it. Having known where this storyline was going to go, from reading the comics and novels, I kept an eye out for it in my second watch of Season 1 too: It's very deliberate that in Season 1 we only actually see Charlie eat a couple of times. There's the milkshakes, and then there's the chips at the beach. There are OTHER scenes that take place at lunch time where we don't see him eat, he doesn't get any snacks at the cinema or bowling, and there are a couple of scenes where he has a bowl of cereal but the only thing we see is him pushing the cereal around the bowl, we don't see him eat any

[@noemisarah98]

It's not just the food scenes but he's also cold a lot of the time and for me it was also the way the spoke and thought about himself. I'm straight and female, but can relate to Charlie so much because I was bullied and called disgusting, had an ED and OCD, so his whole character depiction, especially in Season1, hit very close to home.

[@mauritious1]

It completely amazes me the kind of emotional maturity they show in this series! I was a complete mess when I was 16! I obviously don't condone Ben's actions at all, but everytime I think about how young they are.. it sort of makes me sympathize with Ben a little.

[@NobodyListensToCasandra]

I absolutely love this show! Started watching it with my 10-year-old, and she’s obsessed with the graphic novels now. It’s so earnest, and wholesome, and just ❤

[@thelonelyegg3025]

after you watch this series you should read the comics because it continues the story and goes into more detail about Charlie's ongoing mental health issues as he gets older

[@w.m.fawcett]

It looks like he has the comics on his bookshelf in the back right (the orange, green, blue, then pink pastel colored four books together are def the heartstopper comics)

[@RobertLewington]

I have as well but refusing to read until watched all of an potential seasons.

[@AnxietyRat]

​@@RobertLewingtonyeah, there's a lot of reacters on here who have bought the entire comic series but it doesn't mean that they've read it... Most are wanting to watch the show first and THEN dive into the comics... Also I do not think that this reacter has ever mentioned that he has read the comics in his videos(usually people will mention it if they have). So he, like many others, might just have wanted to financially support the creator, Alice, but are not wanting to dive into the comics just yet and want to see how the show adapts it first... There are some people who like to read the source material first and then there's other people who like to watch the adaptation first.... and there's quite a few people on KZbin who are on the "want to watch the adaptation and THEN dive into the source material" side of things.

[@heartstopperdeepdives]

Very excited to see more of your input on Charlie's story. Of course most of that will be in next season but still.

[@AMVactivists]

I LOVED Mr Farouk's little smile after he shouts QUIET!! 😂

[@RaineInChaos]

1. "Pre-Madonna" is the gayest (complimentary) thing I've ever heard 😂 2. As an older reader/viewer, the developing relationship between Mr. Farouk and Mr. Ajayi is my actual favorite. Their dynamic is so interesting because Youssef is obviously the hardass and responsible one (see: the kids running to get Mr. Farouk even though they've been close with Mr. Ajayi for years), but his EQ is like nothing while Nathan has so much emotional intelligence but zero ability to be a Real Adult.

[@16poetisa]

I love how you talk about Nick and Charlie taking turns protecting each other. It reminds me of a John Stuart Mill quote from The Subjection of Women about what an ideal marriage would look like - "so that each can enjoy the luxury of looking up to the other, and they can take turns in the pleasure of leading and the pleasure of being led in the path of development". Plus, I think that, like for many people, it's easier for Charlie to stand up for the people he loves than for himself. Although he's getting better at the second one too.

[@bibliocharylodis]

Just a small side not re libido: You can be ace and have a libido. Plenty of ace people enjoy sex physically. Doesn't mean they feel sexual attraction. :)

[@ashlynnsiobhan]

Darcy's, "You're being gay, good job. Carry on." Is my favorite moment from the 3rd graphic novel. I was so happy we didn't lose that going into the show.

[@Sanglin602]

I once found myself in a situation that could have been potentially risky during my primary school years. There was a girl in my class who was being bullied and excluded by other classmates. The reason for this mistreatment was that she was considered messy or unclean, although I didn't share that view. On one occasion, our form teacher asked if anyone would be willing to help tutor the girl after class. Surprisingly, I was the only one who volunteered, raising my hand (I still don't know where that courage came from, lol). Maybe it was because I was the teacher's favorite and rather popular among classmates, so I didn't fear being targeted for doing this. Looking back, I really wish there had been someone like me when I faced bullying later on in junior high school.

[@Thatcombobulated]

Heartstopper is such a lovely escape from reality because even in the darkest moments it's still full of comfort and compassion. (As an ace with asthma "anytime he was there I felt like I couldn't breathe" sounds terrifying though. XD) On the topic of medicalisation of asexuality: There's a great book called Refusing Compulsory Sexuality by Sherronda J Brown which has a lot of history about views on asexuality in medicine (especially psychiatry) in it.

[@tallactordude]

I find myself watching a lot of reactions to this show and others, and I really appreciate your unique perspective looking at the show, particularly from a psychological angle. I think this show handles these things very well, as does the comic on which it is based, and I look forward to your ongoing commentary over the second half of the season, which will give you plenty to talk about.

[@thatpantransguy]

This is a series written BY queer people FOR queer people (and everyone really, but especially queer teens who need representation in books and media). Alison did a fantastic job of making all of it normal everyday life to be queer! They are a queer person, so who better to tell our stories?!

[@Liebling_li]

Im so happy to be able to see Nick's journey❤Im bi girl and I didn't realize it until I was in my twenties. I always thought I just appreciate the beauty of woman's body and just admire it platonically 😭 this is not easy, I felt so confused and till now (27) I feel not fully accepted by community sometimes, thats why I really happy to see this kind of representation ❤❤❤

[@marcusmelancon3426]

Nick’s friend definitely knew they just weren’t gonna say anything I mean after sports day last season if you didn’t know something is wrong

[@dawnmolloy9351]

Hi from Iowa! My government sucks, but we will keep fighting!

[@Adeodatus100]

"Actions speak louder than words - they've already cast doubt on themselves being safe people to come out to" - and there, Doc, in a nutshell, is why I never came out to my family.

[@countbang1305]

Dr Elliott, your HS reactions can't come quick enough!!! ❤❤🍂🍂🦋🦋

[@veros.9318]

Thank you so much for your work!!! As a queer female over 30 years old... It helps a lot to watch hearthstopper and than your profesionell and private knowledge to understand more... And yes, its hard work to do emotionale kommunikation on that level :D

[@slugplushie3787]

Sadly the word "gay" is still used in schools as "lame" and there's nothing we can do about it. I always found it really degrading as a bi man myself that a lot of people just learn from social interactions at a young age that gay means bad.

[@Randomner2562]

As a teacher there absolutely is something to be done about it. If a student in our school uses the word gay in a derogatory way we address it, let them know it’s not acceptable and why then give them alternate options. A lot of the older kids will also call out their peers or younger kids for this behaviour too. It’s a very slow slow change, but it is happening on the ground in schools.

[@slugplushie3787]

⁠​⁠@@Randomner2562I guess I'm just speaking from perspective of living in central europe. If there was a teacher in my country that tried to in any ways "correct" children about this kind of vocabulary they would propably get destroyed by parents of the kid and got fired. I'm 19 but still working hard and saving to get out of this hole cause I dont have a strenght in me to try and change my surroundings.

[@Randomner2562]

@@slugplushie3787 I’m so sad that that is your experience. I’m in the UK and our headteacher has a zero tolerance on any types of prejudice but because of the background/home life of a lot of our kids they do sometimes arrive with these types of words. Our job as a school, as far as we’re concerned, is not only to educate but also to give our students every tool that will allow them to be successful and “good” adults when they leave us. This means tackling any homophobia, racism, ableism etc within the classroom and we work with our students regularly discussing language choices and the impact they can have on the lives of others. I appreciate not every school is the same, but I know it does happen in other schools, just maybe not to the extent it happens in mine.

[@Liebling_li]

Thank you for your reactions, I love it so so much ❤❤❤❤

[@67Second]

Have always enjoyed your reactions to this show. But, by the way, Charlie's eating disorder is hinted at way back in season 1 if you look closely.

[@Mixxie67]

I think "queer" just encapsulates so much and easier than constantly saying "lgbqt+". I'm 56 (today!) and I came of age during the earlier days of AIDS activism when "queer" was reclaimed but I imagine for those older than myself (and more visibly queer) it would be difficult.

[@archiecraven6086]

My coming(s) out varied according to whom it was with. With my mother, I never formally came out. I simply brought my boyfriend home. And FWIW, not all mothers know. Mine didn’t. My father and I were estranged for unrelated reasons, and when we reconciled (I was 34 at that point), I came out directly. I came out to a coworker at an Atlanta Braves game (it was a work outing) when I was still in my mid-20s after hearing a homophobic conversation between other coworkers. He was surprised and supportive, and of course it spread like wildfire around the office (it was fine). My strategy now (I’m 52 now) is to simply live my life openly and let the chips fall where they may.

[@janeldavis905]

Great reaction! Thanks for sharing

[@chriskberks5471]

Loved your commentary

[@unscrupulousscrambledeggs338]

i am very obsessed with this show and can't stop rewatching it 😅 also, i made a playlist on my channel of all the songs in season 2! i then made a playlist of songs people were hoping would be in season 2/songs that remind them of Heartstopper generally. if you have a song you want me to add to the playlist, please reply with the song and its artist! thank you!

[@annadownya]

The comment about bi misconceptions reminded my of the song daryyl does from crazy ex girlfriend "gettin' bi". It's a wham style song and addresses every bi stereotype. Highly recommend

[@tennisCharlzz]

Actually, pre-Madonna comes up in Ted Lasso in a discussion between Roy Kent (who think prima donna means pre-Madonna) and Jamie Tartt (who corrects him).

[@nenegrey2282]

Sexuality is not tied to libido. Asexual people have a libido, we simply don't feel or feel very little sexual attraction. Asexuality is a spectrum. Some people feel sexual attraction only after forming a strong bond with someone (demisexuality), others feel sexual attraction rarely, and it doesn't rely on a bond with the othe person (greysexuality). Some asexuals are sex repulsed, others enjoy sex because it's fun and because they like the intimacy. And a lot of us are extremely curious about it, we read smutty fiction and erotica, almost as a way to try and experience through fiction what we don't in real life. I think about my favorite characters kissing all the time, but in real life? I NEVER think about kissing someone or having sex with them, no matter how much I like them. The only thing I crave are hugs, small touches, physical closeness not tied to sex. If my partner wants to, I'm more than happy to. But I could definitely live without it... or when my libido spikes, do it on my own lol So yeah, most of us have a libido, we simply don't think another person is required to take care of it 😉

[@sidneys.6350]

FIRST! love your videos 💕

[@chasefromalabama]

Tori Spring is everyone's favorite big sister.

[@nomadine85]

I’ve had disordered eating my entire life. Everybody who knows me knows this about me and it has often been an issue in my life. But bringing it up with literally any doctor, both physical and mental, ever has always resulted in a very clear shut down, some kinder than others. I have certain physical attributes (boobs and thighs) that basically mean that I never really present as anything other than a “healthy” weight, even when I was less than 45kg. So I just get dismissed, and I don’t really know how to go about it because I can’t find anything that describes it accurately.

[@alwaysforeverme3841]

I had a binge eating disorder when I was younger (it still affects me sometimes but to a much lesser extent) but it never seemed like it to anyone else because I didn’t/don’t put on weight. I remember going to see a counsellor for the first time & mentioning it. She looked me up & down & said something like “I don’t see that as a problem!” & so dismissed it. 🙄

[@nomadine85]

@@alwaysforeverme3841 🙃 why are doctors so awful most of the time

[@helmi9003]

Is it possible to watch your uncut reactions from somewhere, like Patreon or something? I really love your reactions so I’d just love to see more!

[@kmjc1213]

I know this isn't really the focus of the video but I wish Elliott had touched a bit on Elle and Tao in these episodes. Tao coming back from their first date and telling Charlie "I'm fundamentally unlikeable" is pretty classic overgeneralization.

[@Eyes_Unclouded]

14:29 ouch does it mean that I’m not straight if I can fully empathize and understand how they feel😅

[@elisaferrazfernandes6654]

"Charlie is not eating" since season 1

[@skloak]

Fun fact not at all related to mental health: pass the parcel is a very British game. Not even Commonwealth: I think Australia has it, but not NZ, and definitely not Canada. You might find some people in Europe who have a similar thing, but it’s not called anything like that, and the US/Canada has nothing similar (speculation that it doesn’t exist in the US partially because “parcel” is not a broadly used term, we use “package” instead). We do have a tradition of putting a small item in a small box, wrapping it, putting that box in a larger one, wrapping it, etc., with the point of a) making our friends go through all those layers (sometimes duct tape is used for wrapping), b) making them think the gift is larger than it is (this is common with children’s gifts, though you wouldn’t use duct tape there). But there’s no term for this, and the resulting unwieldy gift is intended to be opened by only a single recipient. For the Americans et al: pass the parcel is like gifting musical chairs: a gift is wrapped in layers like a jawbreaker, but other gifts are added to the ball with each successive layer of wrapping. It’s then passed around a group (usually kids at a kids’ party) a la musical chairs; each time it stops a layer is unwrapped and that child gets that gift, then it gets passed along again. Amongst the kids there’s an element of “ooooh, maybe the birthday child won’t be the one who it lands on for the big gift in the middle, maybe I’ll get it!” but obviously it will be, because the parents are controlling the passing. Like with piñatas. But I think we’ll save the discussion of biscuits for another time 😂

[@AnxietyRat]

Pass the parcel definitely does exist in Canada. I played it quite a few times at parties growing up in Ontario (I'm 26, currently, so it could also be a generational thing?). Maybe it's done in certain parts of Canada and not others... It's such a large country that there are big cultural differences between the provinces, sometimes. I mean Ontario and Quebec have bagged milk and the rest of Canada doesn't... So yeah there are some differences depending on where in Canada you live.

[@skeptiwolf5654]

I am in a heterosexual relationship, but my partner is really uncomfortable about telling anyone about our relationship. I understand because we are both mentally ill. I don't know what his issue is but I have to be patient with him. Everyone knows we are together he just hates to talk about it. He hates talking period.... He want to be more emotionally open and talk, but he just can't. It is not the same thing, but I do resonate with the feeling of not being able to be fully expressive publicly about my love.

[@shakirasmylie6178]

Very cool show though I watched the first season but haven't watched season two yet😂

[@chuckross4374]

I appreciated the discussion about the terminology - "gay" vs. "queer." I do believe it's a generational thing. I despise the word "queer;" to me, it connotes odd, peculiar, and strange. I don't think of myself as any of those things. Growing up in the 70s and 80s, "queer" was on par with "faggot." I still have a visceral reaction every time I hear or see it. But I am glad that younger people are finding it much less of a loaded term.

[@slm_766]

I'm 72. And because of all the confusion, mis-information, and bi-erasure that was prevalent in my youth (and even later), I always found myself pigeon-holing myself as "some sort of straight (on a continuum)." Until recently. [Because of Heartstopper and because of KZbin channels, such as the one by Courtney-Jai ( the KZbinr who explained bisexuality in Season 1, Episode 6) --- I've finally re-identified as being bisexual] All that said ... I do recognize that language changes through time, due to changes in society; and I recognize the importance of reclaiming words like "queer." Nevertheless, when I was growing up, the word "queer" was a definite slur and still feels that way when I hear it spoken. I was 'taught' (or I internalized) the idea that the Q-word was just as bad as the N-word; they are quite taboo for me. (The only exception (for me) to this, I've noticed, is when the Q-word is used in formal academic contexts, which changes the meaning, and seems to make it feel more acceptable. For example, some time in the late 1990s, I met a woman who taught at a university in the Queer Studies Department. Or in interviews, I've heard people analyze the "tropes of queer media". It feels less terrible to hear it used in those contexts; however, I still feel reticent to use the word myself.

[@Pgbz91]

hiii i dont wat to give you any mayor spoiler ... but you were rigth about Charlie .... at first I tought he was full for breackfast and he was nervous having Ben by his side .... is the thirth time that I watch the show and I still find bits here and there .. love your videos .. lots of love from Argentina

[@RaineInChaos]

**CW for continued discussion of ED symptoms** there are clues all through the first season too (where Charlie's plate is still full when everyone else is done eating, saying he isn't hungry, etc...) and in S2E2, Charlie tells Nick he'll eat dinner when he gets home, and then as soon as he gets home, tells his dad that he ate at Nick's house, which is the first 100% unambiguous instance of Charlie lying about food.

[@Pgbz91]

@@RaineInChaos yeah yeah ... the first time that i saw the show ,i didnt realise that ...but after second time i saw it

[@sweetenersunshine]

as a 17 yr old who’s just been though the whole school system i can tell u it’s most definitely a thing to still use gay as an insult in my age group unfortunately

[@Telepathic-broom]

Interesting! I finished school around 2011 and it had started to die down at that point in my area I've always wondered if it was still a thing (an insult, something silly) etc.

[@slm_766]

7:14 This scene in Heartstopper 2x3 was filmed/shown soon after Kit Connor was bullied online and forced at the age of 18 to come out publicly, on Twitter. Courtney Jai talked about this on his channel: kzbin.info/www/bejne/b3-bmqSsrrB4q68&pp=ygUaZHIgZWxsaW90IGtpdCBjb25ub3Igb3V0ZWQ%3D I wonder whether you'd like to discuss this issue.

[@kimsbookcorner8483]

I also have to wonder does everyone who is working it out,are they always in a relationship.I also don’t mean if they thought they were straight.Only wondering because I don’t want to make assumptions.

[@kbaylor123]

Oh yeah, that was pre-Madonna 😂 I’m totally using that

[@leandrodasilva7854]

Eu nao sei ingles entendo algumas coisas por expressão ou palavras chaves mais queria muito uma leitura das HQ e e comentarios da parte dele sobre pq se aprofundou muito mais nos problemas psicológicos de charlie e de como o nick seu namorado tentou lidar e ocajudar com isso

[@jonnystu13]

Select states. Not all of us.

[@RobertLewington]

Have you shared your views with Alice, I'm sure she'd love to hear

[@Obei-269]

I feel like the only pansexual person who doesn’t understand the lgbtq community and the way they think like using cisgender or saying things about straight people that would be considered homophobia if it was the other way around, I don’t understand non-binary I understand trans as my brother is trans but I don’t understand a lot of the ideologies of what the trans community tries to do like in sports ,I’ve also never felt different for my sexuality or even questioned it until people in the lgbtq community made me start to feel like I should and I wasn’t normal for never having a gay crisis and it’s down to I’m autistic and adhd so I don’t feel judgment from others, for me I’ve had more issues from the lgbtq community then any straight person in my life all they have asked is what is pansexuality. 😊

[@GirliestMammy]

💖

[@joshdrayton1230]

Before Heartstopper gets the full psychiatric stamp of approval, can we maybe take a moment to look at some of the things the series does not do well. Yes, it delivers some admirable positivity around coming out, bisexuals, lesbians, trans people and now asexuality. But what about how the series represents the sexual experience of most average gay teens? I have an increasing number of questions around how Oseman deals with teenage (gay) sexuality. Or, rather, how she doesn't deal with it. Because despite Heartstopper being all about sexual identity and coming out, Oseman cannot bring herself to honestly and realistically discuss or depict sex, even in the most delicate, oblique or tastefully vague way. So the first series is all yearning and hand-holding and tentative kisses. Fair enough; that's what teenage relationships are like at the start. But by series two Nick and Charlie have been together for months. And, let's be real here: teenage boys are horny devils. They think about sex ALL THE TIME. At the very least there would be some VERY heavy petting going on. That's just the way it is. Always. But Nick and Charlie are fantastically chaste. When the subject finally comes up some months into their relationship they both react as if burned by a red-hot poker, then swear that they're not ready for sex just yet. Then Charlie then tells Nick that, although he wants to - one day - that if Nick is never ready, then that will be fine with him too. Anyone who has been a teenage boy knows that this is complete nonsense, and that no sexually-healthy teenage boy in history has ever said this. And this is where we need to address the elephant in the room. Alice Oseman is asexual. So we have to assume that she has an asexual agenda here, and one that goes beyond the storyline around Isaac. Because she sure hasn't done any actual research into what actual teenage boys think or do. And this is where I start to have some concerns over just how "wholesome" and "uplifting" Heartstopper really is. Frankly, denying natural sexual urges isn't wholesome at all. And shrouding them with fear, dread and various other un-named negative feelings is positively dangerous, and not what you'd expect of a 21st century teen / young adult story that purports to have a healthy approach to sexual identity and coming out. But that's precisely what Oseman does. And the more I think about Heartstopper now, the more I see it as another piece of exploitative M/M fiction. Another gay fantasy written by a woman who largely wants to deny the everyday sexuality of real gay boys/men. It's the teen version of A Little Life, if you like. It'll make a lot of girls/women weep buckets for the unbearably urgent romance - so long as they are not confronted by boners, semen or the icky things those boys do together. Right? So tell me - honestly - just how positive and uplifting and wholesome and heartwarming is Heartstopper really? Hmmm?

[@elisabethbauman6190]

I understand your concern and have heard a lot of people voice it. I have a list of reasons why I believe that Nick and Charlie wait, but I’m sure you’ve heard them before, and they’re still embedded in the narrative of a story that you find fundamentally flawed. I think I understand the harm you feel results from having that part of gay representation not portrayed authentically to your experience, as you indicate that avoiding the portrayal of horny teenage males acting on their hormones makes teenage males feel like something is wrong with them if they do have the urge to act that way. Here’s the thing-Alice has continued the story in webcomic form, and Nick and Charlie do have sex. By the time they are depicted in the novela that covers their final summer together, have sex quite regularly and have had for quite some time. It’s not portrayed in explicit detail, but that’s in part because the story is meant to be accessible to a range of ages and also because I think Alice knows that trying to write an explicit sex scene as an ace person would just ring totally false. The sexual exploration storyline in volume 5 of Nick and Charlie feels sex-positive to me. The emphasis when discussing sex among all the characters is “go at your own pace.” There’s no discussion about the moral imperative of waiting or the dangers of sex or how it’s problematic. However, this couple ends up postponing longer than most because of Charlie’s mental health issues (body image, in particular). I think Alice felt it was most important to address healthy communication between young lovers and giving space to people to say that they weren’t mentally or emotionally ready and having that be respected, because that explicit discussion of consent and readiness isn’t often seen in shows. I have never been a teenage boy, but I have dated one. I got together with my first boyfriend when we were both 17. After about a month we had some very intense make-out sessions with clothes on, hands above the waist. When I expressed the interest of moving below the waist, he was reluctant. One day he said ok, and we got as far as taking off the belt, and then he said no. His body was responsive, but he wasn’t ready. We broke up less than a month later, and I am really grateful that he insisted we wait, because it would have made it more complicated if we hadn’t. He had a healthy libido that he took care of daily, but he’s an example of a horny teenage male who understood HE wasn’t emotionally ready to open up to the myriad ramifications of sex at that initial stage in our relationship. The Nick and Charlie storyline seems believable to me because of my having seen someone behave that way myself. Also, Charlie saying he’d be ok with never having sex if Nick never wanted to have sex sounds like a very believable promise from a 15 year old who doesn’t really understand what that’s going to feel like as time passes, but feels willing to make any sacrifice for love. People have told me that they were fine with not having kids because I said that I didn’t want them, and every single person I dated changed his mind later and said it was a dealbreaker. I still don’t have kids and don’t want them, but I understand that people can change over time, and they learned that was something they were not willing to live without. It’s fair for Nick and Charlie to not know yet, and it’s also fair for Nick and Charlie to be horny and not mature enough to handle separating sexual gratification from emotional enmeshment, so postpone exploring that until later. Does that help, or does it still feel wrong and toxic to you? What do you think would be more healthy and realistic gay representation of 15 year old boys who are 3 months into a relationship in a show with a TV-14 rating? Are there any TV shows out there written for the high school demographic who have gotten it right that you can hold up as a model?

[@joshdrayton1230]

You do a great job of trying to finesse Nick and Charlie's thoughts and feelings. But your extrapolations are entirely your own and not based on anything from the show. If there were some subtleties or nuances that supported such an interpretation I would have no real cause for concern. But Oseman has chosen instead to address the issue of sex between the two by shoving it firmly out of the way, and in a way that is suffused with a kind of panic. That would be fine if the panic was believably Nick's or Charlie's - and if it were addressed dramatically - but I suspect the panic is Oseman's. It also wouldn't be such an issue if sex was credibly dealt with elsewhere in the show. But it's not. All of the characters are cut from pretty much the same cloth, woven by the asexual couturier. Which I do think amounts to an unrealistic and unhealthy (non)depiction of sex among teenagers. And I'm not for one second suggesting the show needs to be any different in tone or content or maturity. It is perfectly possible for it to be every bit as romantic and dreamy and idealised, but with some nod to how real teenagers experience sex. I would say Sex Education probably goes too far in how explicit and completely sex-obsessed it is, but that show does speak to much the same audience (even if it is pitched older) - and some of that show's honesty and straight-talking would be useful in grounding Nick and Charlie in the real world, as opposed to Planet Oseman. I'm fully aware that viewers love the fantasy that Oseman is spinning, and that's fine. Except that real boys (and girls) embarking on real relationships in the real world are going to need more information and better, more positive advice about dealing with sexual feelings than Oseman is prepared to supply (later chapters of the book notwithstanding!) @@elisabethbauman6190

[@elisabethbauman6190]

@@joshdrayton1230 Thank you for your thoughtful and detailed reply. I think we are going to have to agree to disagree here. Taking the comics and the show together is very helpful in understanding the bigger picture regarding Alice’s agenda, especially considering that Charlie ends up institutionalized for severe mental health issues about 3 months after the show ends, which will be covered in Season 3. Nick and Charlie are meant to model healthy communication and discussion of consent, but they are not meant to depict normal, typical teenagers with healthy attitudes about everything. I’m sorry if you feel that Alice has an agenda here that is not sex-positive, but I don’t believe that to be the case. Regardless, I acknowledge your objections, and with your permission, I will excerpt some of your points to share with people in a different discussion group to represent a more balanced viewpoint on this same topic. I can credit you or keep you anonymous, as you prefer, but I promise not to quote you if you don’t give your consent.

[@berf9445]

I feel so weird using the word gay, being a a trans guy. I feel like a lier using it. Does the gay community, in general, accept or not accept trans gays?

[@olis2073]

I think generally the community supports trans people! You are a man, and if you are attracted to men, then gay is a perfectly suitable descriptor. :)

[@TSfan217]

You can definitely use the word gay 😊 in my experience, the gay community is generally accepting of trans people. And forget anyone who doesn’t accept you ❤ Trans men are men. If you’re attracted to other men, and the word gay fits for you, that’s all that matters 💕

[@elisabethbauman6190]

Definitely! ❤

[@howtoaca7504]

💝💝

[@squeek1717]

Unfortunately doctor elliott I can confirm that the word gay is still thrown around quite heavily as a harmful word/insult. I am a gaymer, and i choose to not play many multi player games. In voice chats and text chats, you will here/see the word gay (also more harmful slurs) used to insult and demean people. Alot of toxic gamers feel confident to be more hateful online since they use their computer/video game console as a weapon. Most of those people would most likely be too cowardly to say those same things to someones face. Still, it can be just as hurtful.

[@joelbuchanan471]

Is it wrong to have a crush on Dr. Elliott? Just asking for a friend. 💋

[@slm_766]

😊

[@sammyetc]

I’m 26 and hearing the word queer doesn’t make me feel great, probably because it was always used as a slur at school (along with gay)… things like this just stick with you for a long time, and it’s sad.

[@J.MarkBrownfield-or4oc]

I really like your reactions to heartstopper but can you please cut back on the psychoanalysis lessons.