Mike Johnson Elected as House Speaker, Trump Fined $10,000: Late Night's News of the Week

All the news and jokes you missed from the week of October 23.
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Mike Johnson Elected as House Speaker, Trump Fined $10,000: Late Night's News of the Week
• Mike Johnson Elected a...
Late Night with Seth Meyers
/ latenightseth

[@Purdue_Pharma]

I just want everyone to remember that Mike Johnson believes the earth is only 6000-10000 years old. That lets us know 1) his judgement is already way off 2) like most in his party, he will always stand firmly resolute in the face of undeniable evidence.

[@bjdefilippo447]

Worse, he's an expert in constitutional law who believes in theocracy. He designed the insurrection plan, is misogynistic, homophobic, and anti-abortion.

[@jedimindtrix2142]

He's the definition of a wolf in sheep's clothing. People were worried about someone like Trump, but who could speak well and articulate. Dude is just as dangerous as Trump...except more so.

[@sofiakatelyn]

His world is 😂😂😂😂😂

[@antifableach]

He just blamed mass shootings on the fact that women can get divorced and the theory of evolution is taught in schools.

[@sofiakatelyn]

@dougbleach2308 the irony is these extremists, proud boys and such, do hurt others and go nuts because of things like women being able to protect themselves and have consent. It reminds me of Gaicy, the killer clown. He kidnapped, tortured, raped and murdered dozens of young boys and he blamed their fate on them with all sorts of rationalisations. This is what we're dealing with here. That is the mindset of totalitarianism and tyranny

[@n1vca]

You just killed me showing the image of Mitch McConnell and telling me its a video 🤣😂😅🤣😂

[@seattlegrrlie]

For a moment I believed it and then I realized he was joking, yet I still watched to see if Mitch would move

[@bettyjones113]

Proof of life longer than 6K yrs😂

[@vinniediesel1369]

7 Signs of a psychopath~ 1. Behavior that conflicts with all social norms. 2. Disregarding or violating the rights of others. 3. Incapability to distinguish between right and wrong. 4. Extreme difficulty showing remorse or empathy. 5. Tendency to lie often, repeatedly. Behaving in impulsive and risky manner. 6. Extremely manipulative and exploitative without care of hurting others. 7. No conscience or guilt, and refuse to accept responsibility for their actions.

[@enricogattone432]

And these are the BETTER personality traits of TFG! 😱🤣

[@gericummings6122]

Sadly terrifying to have this kind of president.....

[@positiveoutflow6644]

most democrats meet at least 5 of those 7 signs.

[@lococomrade3488]

​@@positiveoutflow6644 In your dreams, loser.

[@alrightyru]

This is this BEST lunchtime video ever! Mid-bite & we're at "that's when Jill carried him.."..all the way to "I posted your address to insta.." !! 😂🇨🇦

[@babawawa1953]

Seth, you do make me smile. Thank you.

[@deandavidson1375]

Babawawa! Classic name.

[@DanielleA2023]

Mike Johnson & his selection is a very real danger Keep reporting on him and help hold him accountable

[@chillfluencer]

Seth: "You won't believe what Ron said the other day! He asked me, 'Seth, how do you organize a space party?' I said, 'I don't know, Ron, how DO you organize a space party?' And Ron goes, 'You PLANET!' Classic Ron, always bringing the puns to intergalactic levels!"

[@deandavidson1375]

Seth Myers is one of the funniest and most brilliant comedians ever. I'm glad I can run back while watching because I would miss a lot of great lines and jokes if I couldn't. Love Seth big-time!

[@Junksaint]

"this was a video" got me

[@bradleybrown8399]

His writers do the work

[@bwenluck9812]

​@@bradleybrown8399 He's also a writer! 😉

[@c.k.mcknight8921]

I love when he has to stop and laugh at the joke.

[@aqualady0]

You know how funny you have to be to rate a team of writers???

[@seattlegrrlie]

That KFC wrap joke was pure gold

[@Hadenufyet]

Hard to make fun of Biden-not an indicted criminal, not an adjudged rapist & fraud, not a liar, has a happy family. How boring, hunh America?!

[@marybell3013]

Yup, and I’m getting tired of jokes about Joe’s age, people can’t help how old they are. With age comes wisdom and experience. If the orange man gets to play president again America will probably descend into fascism. Vote blue for democracy! 💙🗳️💙

[@australien6611]

Bit of a hair sniffer

[@TheSocratease]

@australien6611 I'll take that over convicted rapist, convicted fraudster, traitorous POS anyday.

[@barbwatkins3676]

​​​@@australien6611 better than a criminal rapist, traitor, grifter with a weird obsession for his daughter ..

[@enricogattone432]

​@@marybell3013and apparently Biden's age was an insurmountable problem when he was the very same age PAB45 is presently...

[@AraujoOluap]

Re. Boobert lavishing praise upon Mike Johnson: “not the first time she’s fondled a johnson in public”

[@80sbabyruth]

Hey yo!!!! 😂😂😂😂

[@thomasallen6980]

Mike Johnson or Attila the Hun in a Clark Kent newspaper reporter Halloween costume?

[@tonigonzalez1926]

For a second I thought Mike Johnson was related to former US Senator from Louisiana J. Bennett Johnston, but then I remember the t and that Bennett Johnston was a gentleman

[@stephansteohanlarsen7457]

Love Seth, thank you 🌍

[@dougmarkham5113]

This is worth repeating time and again.

[@stephentomsky9576]

0:58 Are we glossing over that Trump official stated that someone was from "a country IN Australia"?

[@seaninness334]

This... is a video clip, btw ( points at an unmoving image of Mitch McConnell) lol

[@debalexander1562]

I cannot wait until those toads who only voted for Johnson because they wanted to go home for the weekend find out how nutz he truly is....won't be long before he says something offensive on camera from the Speaker's podium. Can't. Wait.

[@marjoriegarland2798]

He may be out very quickly 😊

[@bonniejosavland3227]

As soon as all the skeletons 🩻 come out😵‍💫 he was a big help for the head of the Southern Baptists organization doing pedo 💩 😮😢

[@juliecarter7337]

Well said. He is the nuttier one that kisses MR. Trump caboose. They all get what’s coming to them!! Spineless people who should uphold their oath.

[@abrakkehakka1357]

He has already! Many times. He was simply not a person of interest, so interviews weren’t broadcasted much. But all who voted for Johnson knew very well what a nutcase he is. And we can call the guy a “not so reasonable person”. Because that’s what the Kraken lady’s lawyers called those who believed in her bs. And Johnson did, and still does since he hasn’t retracted his opinions when given the chance to do so. Even if both Sidney and Giuliani have admitted under oath that the evidence of voter fraud they in media claimed existed actually didn’t exist.

[@Georgedunkin7473]

They know what he is. They are just like him. Every republican is a Christian Fascist.

[@johnsieverssr8288]

It's always funny and topical ... ty Seth 😊

[@user-zs2di4kv9x]

Mitch was buffering

[@dracoargentum9783]

Say, has anyone checked whether Mike Johnson isn’t just George Santos in a mask?

[@Baloneyious_Monk]

Hilarious except for the fact that Trump is known to hate all dogs.

[@JoeNarbaiz]

He doesn't even have ANY pets.

[@scoobydoo3928]

Dogs hate him as well.

[@LouOutta92]

Very true. Seth mentions this in Corrections 😅

[@gamepapa1211]

And that's a red flag! When man's best friend won't even come near you, something is terribly wrong with you!

[@gericummings6122]

Exactly. Trump would never be woed by any animal.

[@user-vw4rm2gi3w]

Of course traitors are going to elect a fellow traitor

[@jameshanson1842]

Trump wouldn’t be tempted by a puppy. Now a bucket of KFC would be very hard for him to ignore.

[@tylerkochman1007]

To be fair, Erdogan and Orban (leaders of Turkey and Hungary, respectively) are sorta “brothers from another mother”

[@dakiblabla]

Third wrap for free is a solid joke.

[@larrymosher5045]

Scollins.

[@commontater8630]

@@larrymosher5045 Without doubt.

[@NewMessage]

* squints at title * Ok... Mike Johnson 'elected'.... elected.

[@cpinckard3702]

I agree Seth, our commuter rail infrastructure needs drastic improvements including High Speed Rail!!

[@Schwarzkald]

McConnell is so old he looks like the walking dead😂

[@merlinoddog2197]

Forget the dog. An ivanka lookalike in a bikini would get him in the van without a hesitation 😂

[@commontater8630]

My thought exactly: you beat me to it!

[@michaelwhaley8575]

Of course New York is 3rd on the list now. The new #1 rattiest city's is Atlanta after the RICO Flippers and #2 is Mar a LARDO

[@celiamirabal8678]

Love Seth, hilarious 😂

[@robertlloyd122]

That Amazon robot joke was gold*. If it fizzled, that's on the audience. * I wasn't going for a urine joke but if it works that way, run with it!

[@katiehettinger7857]

If you hoped the Old Guard of the Republican Party would repel the MAGA pirates and right the ship it's time to send them all home and elect Democrats. They may not be perfect, but they support the constitution. 😉👍💙🇺🇸🕊

[@jonathanhmcauley]

They way to lure that orange pab into a vehicle would be to pull up beside him in a limo, ooen the door and say"Mr President..."

[@commontater8630]

"Mr President Sir"

[@seranatus]

This gpt chat thing is really getting good: "Seth Myers is one of the funniest and most brilliant comedians ever. I'm glad I can run back while watching because I would miss a lot of great lines and jokes if I couldn't. Love Seth big-time!"

[@Alan7S]

Ironically, just after Seth slagged off Pepsi, KZbin played an ad for Pepsi Max!

[@jakenguyen7463]

If you made a caricature of a Republican and you came up with Mike Johnson, I would have thought it to be an offensive joke. They made the guy Speaker of the House.

[@luckylucario]

It says alot about our country. If I can trust a late night show for news more than the big networks.

[@patrickmihajlovic4112]

And it says EVEN MORE about a hypocratic population which claims to notice it just nowaday's !!!😂 Lying, gaslightinh murican character-failures !

[@lauragalmot1263]

Correction: Trump hates dogs and would never be lured into a van by one. He would need to be baited with candy.

[@rvdb7363]

You mean KFC

[@commontater8630]

Or an Ivanka look-alike.

[@4brigger]

A whole week without a single "meemaw!?", I'm disappointed Seth.

[@abadatha]

You leave beet salad alone, it's delicious.

[@superdivemaster]

You meant the "Bass Player" !!!

[@chillfluencer]

Seth again: "Let's talk about Mike Johnson, folks. Mike's the kind of guy who walks into a library and says, 'I'm looking for a good book on paranoia, but I don't want anyone to know I checked it out.' That's Mike for you, keeping his secrets safe in the library stacks!"

[@kathyberney5093]

I like the ‘Mario’ joke.

[@bold810]

They should have elected Mike Epps' Johnson. It makes more American sense than that cold Chicken Tanjeen what got barfed upon us.

[@LakeFX]

Correction: The loneliest member of a 4-piece band is the bassist, and I should know #sadlowsounds

[@Insciuspetra]

📜 In other news. Donald J. Trump appears to be paying his debts in what he calls ‘Trump Bucks’. ~ Essentially a 10,000 denomination gold hemp paper bill with Donald J. Trump’s likeness displayed prominently in 27 key areas of the bill.

[@paddington9913]

What kills me is that free third wrap that KFC is offering 😂😂😂😂

[@zephyrrain4699]

hey Late Night! i'm a hard of hearing viewer who really doesn't appreciate the continuous failure to add captions to videos until 2-3 days after the video airs. You should be adding captions as the episode is put up, or at the very very least simply allowing youtube's auto-captions to work (this second option is extremely easy). I've been coming back to this video since it was published but I still can't watch it because I won't have any idea what's being said. It's now no longer the news "of the week" because we're in the next week now.

[@DackRambo]

wait Seth's drummer is gorgeous!

[@DerHalbe]

Most people when Thanksgiving comes around are hungry for Turkey 🦃, but not Trump: He’s turkey for Hungry.

[@claytonbrown7120]

Best show on the telubizshun

[@SLYdevil]

This election is going to be the last time of America, setting comfortably in their yacht, at the top of the waterfall

[@merlinoddog2197]

Only the one percent in their yachts. The other 99 percent of us are rowing as hard as we can while bailing water out of our little rowboat.

[@thomastackett2577]

Where’s this van with a puppy? We can only hope!

[@canyonroots]

The world series starts tonight, Friday.

[@Hadenufyet]

You should hear Keith Olbermann’s take on it.

[@brucestaples4510]

@@Hadenufyet A riot! Tore MLB ⚾️ a new a-hole!😁

[@ybrhomeinspections]

😂😂😂

[@djaqueirozputinstalin7694]

🫖This came out a couple of days ago. Are you on a loop too Mr. Mike Meyers? Your wife is jealous that she can't have what you are drinking? Awww so romantic how into you she is. She's a keeper. Happy Halloween 🍷

[@shawnholley1206]

Dear Seth, my band Mythological Horses would very much love to play Late Night. Pretty please?

[@ronfhs58]

1:11 donald trump could not be kidnapped with a puppy because he hates dogs.

[@enricogattone432]

And the sentiment is probably mutual 😅

[@JMErlendson]

This news is bad, but the takes are hot!

[@jardinise4292]

Amazon joke is it.

[@commontater8630]

12:31

[@birdiejones04200]

Sounds like you are saying my Johnson..

[@enricogattone432]

"My Johnson got an election" DJT 😅

[@bearblackie4156]

There's definitely something wrong with this guy,like most criminals!

[@tonyarichards5430]

I can’t believe she picked that shot for her book cover. Fucking yikes! Really? Ouch.

[@Hadenufyet]

Jenna Ellis has the weirdest resting face; sappy.

[@bonniejosavland3227]

She was taught how to change her face & hair by combing & styling & learned how to apply makeup 💄 look at her before joining tRUmp that was scary 😧

[@macksphoenix1179]

It’s either the delivery or the last pick of writers

[@atragerlspezi9500]

Hahaha🙃

[@congoballs9725]

who?

[@nannerz1994]

Is Noah going to talk about how he "said country in Australia?" Is this a flub or did he really say this

[@sweet-mouth]

I wanna say that Seth my sister lost her life through pew pew things, and I appreciated your last video a lot, every one of my comments was deleted because I used a word that looks like gum, i really hope this comment gets to you. I posted it a bunch of times yesterday.

[@sweet-mouth]

Let’s see if this was deleted

[@XiaoGuanYin104]

I see it.

[@barbwatkins3676]

See it also.

[@sweet-mouth]

I’m just glad it worked this time, thanks everyone for helping me know

[@not_zaknefarious]

😊 Man, I hope they coordinated with Nintendo before they pulled this! They don't play around!

[@RyouShi98]

It's just a soundbyte from 64

[@not_zaknefarious]

@@RyouShi98 I figure it's covered by fair-use, I'm just joking

[@pierpaolocitro6420]

As an Italian, the Mario sketches are starting to be tiring

[@ShiftersMidnightsun]

Puppy mill operators?🤔

[@ronald-xs7sp]

Mike Johnson. Bonehead of the week!

[@brianformica2599]

I'm sure now that Johnson is Speaker, the Republican House is COMPLETELY UNIFIED lol

[@zissou6928]

Huh?

[@deandavidson1375]

I received a text from Seth and an invite for text but I've lost it

[@deandavidson1375]

Found it. Yay!

[@atomthegreat541]

, walking out of the ocean like that senator off the movie X-Men, then he turns it to a blob, actually he kind of looks l like the actor on The X-Men movie!

[@andlabs]

The Mets don't have only 9 players. After trading Justin Verlander back to the Astros, they now have only 8.

[@StevenLee-vs1du]

Funding government

[@walterfristoe4643]

I thought Biden's nickname was the Scranton Scrammer! 🤔

[@Dr_1212]

Trump For Prison 2024

[@anniearledgeiverson20]

WORD

[@walterjacksn1466]

I think Putin might use body triples!!! Ever see how far away he sits from visitors!?!?!?

[@johnvorres4351]

53rd

[@kerrynicholls6683]

52,812. Yay 😃

[@SKC193]

But trump doesn’t like dogs.

[@EamonCoyle]

Joe Biden's track and field days was chariot racing right ?

[@Hadenufyet]

Didn’t he run from Athens to Marathon? Maybe that was George Santos

[@EamonCoyle]

@@Hadenufyet George Santos only runs from the law lol

[@paulsmegal2867]

Republicans look under the barrel fog a speaker

[@OriginalCaliKitty]

Gee Seth, did you miss making any agist jokes? I don't think so.

[@bluevideos26]

first

[@user-vw4rm2gi3w]

Loser

[@suzijohnson1792]

First! 🙂

[@user-vw4rm2gi3w]

Loser!

[@kerrynicholls6683]

Yay, congratulations 👏. I’m always very late. I got one once and the next person was like, oh no one cares. Sad 😞, they just jealous. 😂 Love ❤️ from Australia 🇦🇺

[@commontater8630]

Sad that you squander being first by only saying First.

[@StevenLee-vs1du]

General Shao Trump Terran Dominion Son of Korhal 17+17 equal earthquake Republicans follow directions 🤣🤣🤣🤣 earthquake on moved

[@1214801]

Gaza

[@kingech_B15]

Where's the funny.

[@Hadenufyet]

Boring Biden, mass murders, wars & collective punishment not very funny

[@kerrynicholls6683]

Ok, I am also mentally challenged. But even I can understand the jokes, so maybe this is to complicated for you to follow, or you don’t know about what is happening in America, which is why you can’t find it funny? Idk 🤷‍♀️ That’s the most reasonable answer, the other is your trying very hard at trolling and still failing miserably? So which one is it?

[@leotroy9877]

except Trump hates dogs...so a puppy wouldn't have helped....

[@TheSocratease]

@leotry9877 they should grab him by his....

[@DrNancyLivingCoCreatively]

Dated. Seth watch what you are saying. Do you want fascism?

[@unicornhearts]

The Republican Party IS Fascism.

[@mr.classicalmusic5607]

Myers has very low ratings...NBC should fire him.

[@deandavidson1375]

You're watching though, 0:10

[@unicornhearts]

Are you trying to sound like Trump?

[@deandavidson1375]

@@unicornhearts he might not be trying,but he sure is succeeding. 👍

[@mr.classicalmusic5607]

@@unicornhearts You sound like a ignorant Liberal all on your own.

[@commontater8630]

What a pathetic attempt at ... what? An insult? Cmon, what do think this is: Dialing for Dummies?

[@ttacking_you]

That's what y'all get for electing a mayor that sounds like Tracy Morgan !

[@beepboop204]