Military TikTok Fails... Part 12

[@classmst89]

"Go home marines" "IM F**KING TRYING!" 😂😂😂😂 That killed me

[@nikkoortizshorts]

Same 😂

[@captain_seagull69]

time stamp?

[@JoshuaReyLacbong]

@@captain_seagull69 8:58

[@Brantley-uq1he]

Same😂

[@supersnipe0351]

1:16 "I cant not undo this shit.. Help me plEase" got me dyin

[@WalkerUnknown]

Weeeeeee...😂

[@TheBibliophileFiles]

"If I don't act on my thirst..." My dude, then you're dehydrated! 😂

[@chrissi.enbyYT]

"He needs some milk 😩💦🥒"

[@ryimscaith1593]

Nikko going all "Hulk ANGRY!" on the Air Force girl putting her hands in her pockets slayed me. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@CCandSMUDGE]

The sorting hat would immediately put me in the Airforce, the only thing I’m good at is sitting and pretending to do something productive.

[@Dondingo4]

Sounds like you're a better fit for infantry then.

[@CCandSMUDGE]

@@Dondingo4 lol

[@karrimgyver]

@@Dondingo4 How so?

[@darkresurrections9484]

im indian my ass wouldve beeen sent to space force immedietly

[@hisgross]

@@karrimgyver cause regular infantry hardly deploys and doesn't do much the past few years.

[@tamarackgaming]

You never knew that Nikko? I retired in 2004 and yeah. We had animals coming around all the time. Dogs were big, also cats. Ferrets and rabbits were there as well. They say danger noodles are snakes, nope. They are ferrets, made quite a few Marines, including me, kinda' happy.

[@AkodoKusamoto]

As the big, angry, engineering-brained German, I'd totally get sorted into the Chair Force and forced to fix all the planes I want to fly because I'M 6'3" AND WON'T FIT IN ANYTHING COOL.

[@nikkoortizshorts]

Rough 😅

[@CindyJoGorman-bt9ro]

I saw some pretty tall A-10 pilots..But Hey, you Can get too old to be a Pilot, Mechanics are FOREVER!

[@TimmysHR]

You would be working on MK Ultra part two just like the last NAZI engineers we brought over. Sorry I meant German. 😂😂

[@killianlile173]

​@@CindyJoGorman-bt9ro Yeah height isn't as bad nowadays, but when my uncle was drafted during Vietnam he wanted to be a carrier pilot. He's 6'4 so he got rejected, he was told he could be a heli pilot (apparently the Huey cockpit is fairly large) but he didn't want to do that.

[@MaxVerstappenF1-1]

I would probably go with this guy

[@pryamul]

As a Navy Chief, on a deployment, there was a fleshlight found in Marine Berthing. Apparently it was being passed around and 5 Marines had been sharing it.

[@briansieve]

Blue Mountain State had an episode like that. 😂

[@Michael-n1d7n]

No joke, my brother and I are both vets. he was Navy and I an Army grunt. Both are disabled and we got to thinking how funny it would be to see a Space Force space cadet walking in to the DAV to file a claim for disability. Well speak it into reality and it will come true. My brother was there to sign some paperwork and sure as shit, one came in and all the vets that were there was biting their tongues when they found out he was filing for carpel tunnel.

[@weeb3244]

Gotta respect the grind

[@Dondingo4]

Don't hate the player, hate the game.

[@Stewie_griffinn]

2:32 what that in the sky🗣️🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🗣️🔥🗣️🔥🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥

[@Topflightgp]

The head cocking and “Woooo” that would make Ric Flair proud was gold

[@nikkoortizshorts]

For reeeal

[@kristinwojtowich8902]

I cocked my head at the same moment during that one 😅 Didn't say whoo though, was more like "holy shit!" 😂😂

[@Topflightgp]

@@kristinwojtowich8902 I'm not one to follow trends, but I definitely yelled "GYAAAD" a lot louder than I should have seeing as my wife was around

[@SammyJunior1994]

Props to y'all "can't handle them". 👏 Military women don't be messing with civilians

[@vfdavis42]

Every Marine is a rifleman. Also every Marine is a janitor. Ooh rah!!!

[@danmanning4129]

WE PAINT ROCKS TOOO!!!!! RAHHHH!!!!!!

[@vfdavis42]

Both sides

[@Project_31]

03 gardener is our b-billet

[@lightzvr]

Nikko is the only reason I even consider joining the military when I’m older

[@jesussampedro467]

maby im a little gay got me 😂😂

[@nikkoortizshorts]

Maybe 😅

[@enxangura5263]

Hey you do you

[@Bikerwolf12]

Fosho frfr

[@F32_PDX]

😂😂😂

[@xwinter__riderx9155]

Maybe

[@tamarackgaming]

Cop giving a roadside sobriety test to Infantry:'Recite the alphabet from front to back.' Infantry:'Fuckin A, fuckin B, fuckin C......'

[@Anthony-vq1wn]

😂 Nikko really kicking out the closet door in this one.🤣

[@nikkoortizshorts]

He did 😂

[@Dinosaurchickin]

Gay, straight, or lying.🤪

[@danmanning4129]

@@Dinosaurchickin Don't ask don't tell

[@smeissner328]

@@danmanning4129 My brother's best friend in high school enlisted in the Navy. When people would ask about their plans after graduating, he'd tell them he was joining the Navy and then he and my brother would lean in close. One would say "don't ask" and the other would say "don't tell."

[@DudeGuyBroGuy]

Bro.......19 years in the Marines....magic bean hat goes "we know what you did in Thailand......"

[@sabinal17]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@tyler-y4s]

Had to bring up Pattaya Beach lol

[@11BeezDD214]

There's gay and there's infantry gay

[@andrewsincek2373]

airforce, i study physics

[@Rat-King0331]

The fox stealing stuff The saw gunner: more fire practice.

[@PainfulTruth999]

"Left...left..........left" 😂

[@sabinal17]

15:37 his fainting broke me 😂😂😂

[@FutureDoctorDylan]

Lol

[@MrStaybrown]

Lmao. I remember getting to oki and wm's saying if you get pregnant, you'll go straight back to the U.S. They got pregnant and stayed in okinawa until they gave birth and had to travel back to the US to leave the baby with family so they can return to duty within 6 weeks to finish the obligation. Any days away from overseas deployment will be made up, so you are not going to keep your original rotation date.🤣

[@mrkage4967]

Military sorting hat: are you Italian? Me: yes Military sorting hat: TRAITOR!!!

[@PixieStayy149]

I'm italian too lol...

[@Julianpaezdgaf]

16:17 my branch would be, back to mexico

[@pickle4422]

Nikko just about had a damn heart attack seeing that IDF soldier...

[@Psibound]

Nikko spittin hot facts about the AF. Everytime someone talk shit... Its like have fun talking shit time for me to get back my AC.

[@deadpoolfanboy3012]

I am a non combat army vet who got out last year and at my civilian job a former Airforce MP coworker never went to the field or knew anything I was talking about when it came to field training. I was upset and confused and upset and baffled and still upset 😂😂😂😂

[@johnathancarson8338]

NGL the sorting hat would've immediately knocked me out and told my superiors that I'm too stupid to be a military man

[@jstChase]

When the Army or Marines try to talk shit to Air Force, the best come back is, "and I'm making the same amount as you". Then walk away with your hands in your pockets. 😂

[@anothernewaccount1657]

Kinda like a certain moment from the Boondocks.

[@apsuaha]

Touche chairforce, touche

[@Cm38271]

​@apsuaha My favourite I ever heard was "We're the ones they trust with WMDs"

[@KnawedOne]

👌🏽👌🏽

[@JulieParker-z4i]

Thanks!

[@antoniaJay26]

Fuck yeahhh! “‘Maybe I’m a little gay” got me I can’t lie 😂

[@Captain.Exotics6]

Bro 12:24 “let’s just fuckin kick shit yea?” I was rollinggg, this dudes commentary cannot be beat 😂

[@SkywalkerPMs]

I was Airborne for 12 years. Im 56 now, and everything hurts. Hey, but I got that jump pay beer $!

[@milanoocartman451]

how much did u make per jump?

[@CDiPaola04]

10:23 kills me... he DEFINITELY was the smartest guy at the table.

[@So1i7ud3]

“The wind is the worst part” is how you know you’ve reached ultimate cold cope💀💀😭

[@danmanning4129]

She did go "ooo" after that taser

[@sto1asgoetia600]

A little gay? Bro you got that nuclear half and half energy

[@ashleymcdaniel8243]

lets talk about Nikkos talent with hitting the mic 8:14

[@get_strawed]

my dad was an FMF Corpsman and I’m 100% certain he was gay behind his wife’s (my mom’s) back when he was deployed to camp lejeune. he said he would’ve rather drank piss than that water btw

[@bobohm21]

What if the piss came from somebody who was drinking Lejeune water? That would be doubling down on the nasty.

[@get_strawed]

@@bobohm21either way, someone would be getting hospitalized. that was a good spin, though.

[@tonypeppermint5329]

​@@bobohm21D:

[@squigl3z78]

Nothing and I repeat NOTHING is worse than hearing someone talk about how they ALMOST joined but they couldn’t as a veteran . Like bro you don’t have to lie man it’s ok

[@8sp3ct]

Nikko ain't gay, hes just.. Different

[@kishkin8743]

Thank you for being serviced.

[@julietmike1018]

I was in airborne school and almost landed on an instructor. The dude was like, "Slip away!" And I was still at 100 ft or so, and I yelled "I'm trying man!" When I landed he was about to yell at me, but luckily I had my aircrew wings sewn on and they guy happened to be a Navy instructor and was like "DID YOU FUCKIN HEAR M...ayo were you in the Navy before?" Saved my ass. Lol

[@spookyboi4784]

Going for the grunt position in the Australian defence force. Will have to hook you up with some darwin award moments over here.

[@BumpyBaluga]

As a Marine, i can confirm the govt issued gayness lol

[@jdm2269]

That was the calmest "help me" I've ever heard lmao 😂😂

[@ethangarner05]

2:41 got me 😂

[@nikkoortizshorts]

Same 😂

[@Lancaster5843]

I like how calm that guy getting dragged by a parachute is

[@warphenex037]

5:30 Serious Paws here, legit Navy do be doin' this for the seamen

[@Pencil_Duck]

The sorting hat would probably put me in the Marines (I'm Half Cuban). We can swim like Olympic swimmers (How Else Did We Get To America?) and we are extremely aggressive/insane :)

[@kwamemartin6371]

😂😂😂 9:04 Okinawa for sure I remember those signs

[@F.ALK_02]

2:42 you know the drill sauce majors 😂 SEND IT

[@ZipKickGo]

1:36 Thought I was on Guarding duty, naw dude, GARDENING duty.

[@WalkerUnknown]

1:10 WEEEEE😂 Bro just getting carried away

[@TheSleepSteward]

Always gotta love the edits. Love the content as always man! Thank you for making our days just a little bit better ❤

[@YeahBroski]

7:16 Read dead redemption 2 ahh ragdoll

[@darkicity]

I'm so gonna say "you're welcome citizen" and all i do is laundry in the army ahahah

[@billys5948]

"When you are 5 months in to your 9 month deployment". I see ya'll never seen a 15 month pump

[@Knight_Of_Caliban]

These always make my day, thanks so much Nikko, also if you had to be in any branch other than the Army which one, and why?

[@nikkoortizshorts]

I say go with what feels right

[@Knight_Of_Caliban]

@@nikkoortizshorts I didn't mean for me, I meant which one would YOU choose?

[@eaofdeath187]

"You're welcome citizen" is brilliant.

[@CindyJoGorman-bt9ro]

LMAO! Air Force GLOVES! Bite me, we Still have the Best Chow Halls!

[@sandrasherman9294]

Yes you do. Thank you for the good food.-Ex Army Vet

[@CindyJoGorman-bt9ro]

@@sandrasherman9294 You're More than Welcome! In the End, we're one Big Family, my Brother Retired 82nd Air Born!

[@callsign_fatality]

I’m %25 German and my great grandfather served in the luftwaffe. I’m definitely going to be sent straight to the airforce to be the red, white and blue Barron.

[@benjiiscool12341]

Your videos always make my day Nikko keep up the amazing videos.

[@rileyhudson1929]

I'm naming my 1st child after you You're iconic

[@Coffee_Nutz]

Dude, 26 yrs I started in the USMC and swapped to the Air Force after 5yrs. I was shot at and in the field with the ODA more then I ever was in the Corps... depends on the Airmen, and yeah I'm fucked in the head from all the Mortuary Affairs and field feeding along side the 3 war zones I deployed to. I just knew to go to the doc and report my broken ass everything and still went to work the next day cause you know ppl in the military be abusing excuses at times, and I sit at 100%. Lol, BTW thx your videos helps me cope with being a civilian and retired. Mad props to you bud😊

[@CertifiedYeeYee]

The Sorting would definitly put me in the Air Force, or Coast Guard.

[@53cards92]

14:57 I’VE BEEN AVOIDING MY POCKETS FOR NO FKN REASON?!?!

[@RealMoukeycat]

5:29 "serious paws" lol.

[@Bear_the_shepherd]

Happy Monday, Nikko! I hope you have a wonderful week, stay safe and God bless ❤

[@MechanicBloxy]

"You're welcome Citizen" Is such a hell divers thing

[@Dirt_masterX24]

4:58 ME ME MY MOM WAS PREGNANT WITH ME and i was born in a military hospital

[@JustaRamGuy]

Same but she didn’t serve my dad did

[@LiamMorris-hq9zn]

Me too that’s how my parents met actually was in the base Oak Harbor

[@Rizztaxski]

Brother (ARMY VET HERE), just imagining what you said about the space cadet got me, thanks!😂😂😂

[@myles555-c4r]

2:13 whys the door so small

[@lylebaierlein419]

The sorting hat would have put me in the coast guard for sure lmao

[@CrAzD]

8:22, SGT Nkko has been summoned

[@Duckwithnvgs]

The air force has the most decorated special forces

[@blaine1258]

Yes our deployment we had a dog on the ship the whole 8 months, she even went up and down the ladder wells.

[@jjwilliams4225]

i think we were on the same deployment, i was on a DDG and we had a dog from the carrier come onto our ship for the day

[@blaine1258]

@@jjwilliams4225 probably, we flew sage out all the time it seemed like 😂

[@jjwilliams4225]

@@blaine1258 oh yeah we definitely were lol, sage only came to our ship once for like a couple hours😂

[@MatthewNGolding]

0:20-0:22, 😂🤣😂 5:03-5:09 😂🤣😂 5:48-5:50, 3:25-3:26, 2:44-2:46, 5:58-6:00, 2:54-2:56, 5:58-6:00, 6:13-6:14 6:25-6:30, 6:34-6:39, 5:58-6:00, 6:43-6:44, 5:58-6:00, 7:20-7:22, 7:25, 7:44, 7:59, 8:42-8:43, 9:55, 8:42-8:43. 9:55, 10:20-10:21, 10:38-10:42, 11:39-11:41, 8:42-8:43, 11:43, 11:51-11:59, 12:21, 12:47-12:50. 12:59-13:03, 13:25-13:29, 14:09-14:10, 14:37. 14:50-14:55, 15:27, 15:46-15:47, 16:10, 16:23-16:26, 16:28-16:32

[@LeMemeJames]

This guy is easily my favorite KZbinr, EASILY

[@geoffgrigg381]

The sorting hat would probably stick me in Marines because my friends use me to move all the heavy stuff they don’t want to like furnaces and stuff.

[@tiepon9147]

Yes

[@nikkoortizshorts]

Yesss

[@Dinosaurchickin]

Potaytoe❤

[@VikingZeroReviews]

That helmet would put me in the “special” needs forces

[@bobbylite8394]

8:30 on the .

[@jimmiller368]

Did you see the Chaos Undivided tattoo when he freaked out?

[@user-gu3ie]

2:41 the most hungry kitty in the world...that pants stood no chance!!!

[@XxOniMCxX]

First

[@raghhhhhhhhhghgh]

indeed

[@TheWigglerKing]

14:55 the absolute rage and vitriol

[@zay5929]

Being a military brat to a 22-year retired Filipino Chief... it is genetically in my blood to be sorted into the Navy, LOL.

[@MarcusBumgardner-d4e]

Not me at the EXACT SAME TIME.....DAMNNNN!!!!!

[@militaryman815yt5]

Nikko 11:08 I’ve been out 12 years and I still rock the waffles.

[@jeremycrossno5282]

Omg as soon. As I saw chair force hands in the pocket, I was like OOOHHHHHH.

[@noelhutchins7366]

Someone nearby is mowing and you smell Pennyroyal, so you stalk closer to find the topological-source for future measures.

[@cvsasukeuchiha3051]

2:40 Ortiz: *snap* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!"

[@TF395-v6g]

If there was a military sorting hat, it would probably put me in either the army or the navy

[@lololololololoolloolololol]

if they had a sorting hat my lazy ass is going to the air force 💀

[@theinsane4469]

So I chose CG, gunners mate specially. But I’m sure the Military Sorting Cover (MSC) would give me Army Medic.

[@KingNiallGT]

The sorting hat would've picked coast guard for me. But I joined the army.

[@jaredkammerman6053]

That "infantryman" didnt even complete basic bro. He was a wash out.

[@godofeniu316]

as a pog (25u) I've seen fleece jackets on another pog he had been in a fat min he Still had the Fleece still in the original wrapper