Miracle in Toyland - Phelous

[@extraram896]

There's three possibilities behind Jessie's weird relationship with his cousin: 1. The script originally wrote the two as boyfriend and girlfriend, but they made the change in their relationship much later into the movie's production and never bothered to apply that change in the animation. 2. A good chunk of this could've had a lot of this animation done overseas and could've been lost in translation in terms of how the animators were instructed to draw the two being affectionate to each other, but Golden Films decided to roll with it anyway. 3. Whoever was art director for this had something repressed going on and this is another case of "The Writer's Thinly-Veiled Fetish" leeching its way in.

[@rikustorm13]

Hopefully a script change or it got lost in translation but it's probably the 3rd option...

[@crimsondynamo615]

I’ll take number 3, Alex!

[@TheSmart-CasualGamer]

I'm going to go for a mixture of 3 and 2.

[@ergogrrl]

Hopefully #2, probably #3. Imma go barf now, Merry Xmas.

[@ExplorerDS6789]

Some families are just touchy-feely with one another, it's not so unusual. I know Jesse and Gabriella are American, but families in Europe, for example, display affection much more openly than in North America.

[@Matt-mq6ws]

Remember: when everyone else abandons you, material possessions never will.That's the true meaning of Christmas.

[@MontyPythonFanatic2]

Matt ! DAMN YOU, KIRK CAMERON!!!!!

[@SuperChochip]

Damn you Toad!

[@Boobalopbop]

.... The more you know!

[@Magy09able]

unless they break down.

[@Triff3599]

I always knew my Sonic plushies would be my real best friends instead of my actual friends and girlfriend-

[@misteryA555]

Jesse is written as if he’s seven and yet is inexplicibly drawn and voiced to be ten years older

[@SuperCosmicMutantSquid]

"Hey, Cam! Can you voice this thing for this movie we gotta shit out?" "Sure, but why's my character 10?" "ACTION-!"

[@themanofart4110]

"I care about you, Jesse, because I was designed to!" -Super Duper Guy, Miracle in Toyland "If I want a piece of gum, it's only because I was programmed to want a piece of gum." -Bender, Futurama

[@theadamblock]

"I care about you because I was designed to!" - That may be one of my favorite lines ever. Given the context it may unseat "Hmm I dunno, I think we should be enemies" from Lion and the King. Tough call.

[@DistractedGlobeGuy]

I just love the fact that it was Daran Norris delivering that line, and it sounds exactly like something Cosmo would say in the earlier seasons of FOP, before he got too badly flanderised.

[@ARedMagicMarker]

@@DistractedGlobeGuy Thought he sounded familiar.

[@gracekim1998]

@@DistractedGlobeGuy ah why it took me so long to realise that I don’t know 😂

[@Kip450]

Reminds me of another Daran Norris line as G0-T0 from Star Wars: KOTOR 2. “I ‘care’ about the Republic because I have no choice.”

[@utterlyepical]

Incest, Golden films, abrupt dark overtures, and inappropriate sexualization of annoying characters?! Oh, Phelous, we thank you for these Christmas gifts we have received.

[@gregzotter6189]

And a healthy dose of bootleg toys too! Cool!

[@tonyfilippo2235]

I guess you can say that soldier died... of LONELINESS!

[@golgothavirus]

hahohoha briliant (Phelan's Uwe Boll voice)

[@PlanetZoidstar]

His Loneliness meter ran out!

[@droidcommanderthespinosaur689]

Stop mega blast you!

[@DalekTheSupreme]

He's completely useless now!

[@vivimariefedorov7374]

Beauty: (gasp)

[@GrandCorsair]

Someone had a little to much fun drawing that elf.

[@HeilRay]

Had the Christmas spirit in them.

[@IronKnuckleKO]

@@HeilRay My name is Noel and I have a happiness!

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

Waifu material.

[@Tareltonlives]

@@IronKnuckleKO "And my happiness I mean boner!"

[@megatron6713]

I had a decent wank to it.......😉

[@Zinervawyrm]

Panty shots, characters dying, weird crap with toys, and incest, lots and lots of incest: are we sure this isn't an anime?

[@simonster-9094]

top 10 obscure anime

[@graemesmith6721]

No, needs more tentacles. Maybe if there'd been a toy octopus in the store.

[@Alucard-A-La-Carte]

Excellent, excellent point!

[@TheSuperCasual2914]

Whatever it is, it’s probably got to do something with Fire Emblem.

[@gracekim1998]

it's ToTAllY ANIme!

[@Cykeys]

I almost expected a "Died from loneliness" Joke when Jesse left the soldier alone.

[@teedup8995]

Cykey Yea, beauty sure gets around! 😔

[@PlanetZoidstar]

Beauty: *gasp*

[@TheCinemaBizarro]

“They surrounded me”...*cough*...”You left me alone”...*cough*...”They drained my loneliness meter!”

[@gracekim1998]

My dude, that was Er 2017 for the ‘die of loneliness’ gag…although I couldn’t resist doing here because I’m nutty🤣

[@teedup8995]

Lol!

[@TheAdorkableRJ]

Anything goes in Toyland.

[@ArendAlphaEagle]

and outside of it, too!

[@babablacksheep3950]

TheAdorkableRJ Even incest! yay toyland! Jesse sure got a "good ending" with his cousin that day.

[@droidcommanderthespinosaur689]

So in toyland i can kill people and piss on there bodys? Awsome! Ill burn toyland down YEAH!

[@Arkonu]

Or Jersey.

[@HeilRay]

In Wonderlannnd. I mean Toyland

[@skeevy_nyx]

I would've loved a Jacob's Ladder twist at the end, and Jesse really died in Vietnam.

[@dunes8817]

This bit of sexual tension brought to you by Folgers.

[@HeilRay]

7:54 Jesus Christ. *Sweet home Alabama plays*

[@jamiekamihachi3135]

I do wonder if the cousin was meant to be a close family friend and they thought it be weird to have Jesse stay at their place and changed it to cousin.

[@PlanetZoidstar]

@@jamiekamihachi3135 Like the whole "kissing cousins" error when they censored Sailor Moon by having Neptune and Uranus be cousins...But forgot to edit out the romantic subtext between them.

[@cheezemonkeyeater]

The best part of waking up is acid in your cup!

[@PlanetZoidstar]

@@cheezemonkeyeater Hahaha. Is that a Plinkett/RedLetterMedia reference?

[@therealmanos]

I wonder if the kids were supposed to be boyfriend and girlfriend, but it was changed at the last minute. They might have pulled a "Sailor Moon".

[@mastermarkus5307]

I never got that far into the original English version of Sailor Moon when I was a kid, but I bet that made some scenes awkward.

[@schalasmagic]

It did. Especially since they still acted like they were dating. bleh.

[@Caldella]

Master Markus - it totally did. I remember being relieved when a friend with a sub version told me Sailor Neptune and Uranus were actually a couple.

[@therealmanos]

Ha!

[@FrenkTheJoy]

Yeah, that would make more sense. And them being cousins doesn't seem to matter to the story at all. She could just be a concerned best friend of the guy, and their families are close enough that they're okay with the guy staying over on Christmas. And I loved that in Sailor Moon, they made them cousins but didn't alter literally any of the scenes other than the dialogue, so you have these cousins entering a contest to discover who's the best couple. I didn't really understand homosexuality at the time, but I did NOT buy them as just cousins.

[@kingtriplede4607]

That Jessie sure is an hardcore kid... He goes out home barefoot in his pajamas just to wave goodbye to his father IN THE MIDDLE OF THE COLD SEASONS

[@nickmanzo8459]

KingTriple De you can do that in the Deep South

[@dancepiglover]

@@nickmanzo8459 It started snowing the next day. It's cold.

[@Chimerism101]

In a better movie, that would've been poignant. In this movie, wasted potential.

[@ripleyandweeds1288]

1:17 >Shows people in wartime >'Miracle in Toyland' I have several questions.

[@goosebums67]

Something tells me that they originally wrote Jessie and his cousin as unrelated love interests in the first draft, but then scrapped it at the last minute.

[@baz5042]

I'm guessing that the animators got a earlier draft of this "story" and voice actor got a later draft, I'm guessing in the earlier draft they weren't cousins.

[@shwahgamer]

That might be the case. Though in voice acting roles, the person doesn't even have to know the plot of the movie to read the lines! (This even happens in good films too, more than you'd think.) Most of the time voice actors don't record with their costars, so there's a chance that they were only looking at their individual lines, recorded what they had to, and went home. With no context for what was going on.

[@CJCroen1393]

The look on the soldiers' faces when they're dancing makes me laugh everytime I see it XD They look like they're in horrible pain...which may be the case, given the movie they're in.

[@Spectra651]

Just wanna say, Phelous, that your older videos have such great re-watch value. I always start off thinking "I'll watch juuuust one," then I'll see a bunch of your other episodes in the sidebar and think, "Ooo! I LOVE that one!" and then the next thing I know it's 6AM and I have about fifty tabs open and my computer hanging on for dear life, praying that it won't overload. Your vids are like potato chips, I can never watch just one. Also, I can not *imagine* how I ever existed without the divine light that is Old Man and Wabuu in my life, and for that I must offer you my humblest, most sincere thanks.

[@SwiftNimblefoot]

Same here. I loved his horror reviews too but I am so glad that I have someone to review these crappy bootleg disney ripoffs I have seen in bargain bins but never checked.

[@gracekim1998]

AGREED, mate. I adore marathoning the older reviews too :D Ok technically every review but you know what I mean 🤷‍♀️

[@karkatvantas2563]

Pringles product placement on a you tube comment......lol

[@agnycat7458]

Yes, all of this!!!! Love to rewatch all of these videos, they are so fun, and help to wait for the new gold to be posted :)

[@LKMEW]

Me: *doing exactly what you did describe* Also me: *being tortured the whole day and sharing the torture from "Alice in wooooonderlaaaaaand~"s title song due to singing it with varying lyrics while shopping for groceries* Old maaaaan in wonderlaaaaand~

[@CaptainSkullDemon]

"You disgust me, son." I'm gonna take the time to appreciate how well the lip sync matched with that sentence. 👏👏😁👍

[@Davesknd]

Ok... I'm just gonna say it: Whoever did the script and stroyboards for this movie had some serious sexual repression going on. There is that hot redhead with the freckles in the dream, the weird touchy-grabby way the cousins interact (sorry... it IS distracting), overly-sexualized Elf girl and the constant semi-upskirt shots she gets (or this: 17:24 ) and the kinda Oedipal undertone of overcoming his absent father. Come on! You can see it too!

[@ssjchixken5110]

Davesknd I'm actually gonna agree with you on that, this movie was just too weird to ignore it

[@Hauptseite]

Are those _tally marks_ on her thighs at 11:56 or are those _supposed_ to be lines indicating points of articulation on her toy body? They look like tally marks.

[@MargaretRodriguez9GenY]

@@Hauptseite - Maybe those "tally marks" are an attempt to show fabric detail of her thigh high stockings🤷.

[@whitneymouse]

Masquerader pretty sure it’s supposed to be details on her obvious garter belt stockings. I’m concerned they included a garter belt in a kids movie xD

[@dancepiglover]

@@whitneymouse Yes the lines are the garter holding up her thigh-high stockings. To elaborate on your comment.... Stockings didn't used to go all the way up, but were instead two separate stockings (one for each leg) held up by garters. Women now wear pantyhose nylons, all one piece like pants. Now stockings with garters are considered to be sexy lingerie. So... I'm also concerned that they drew her wearing sexy lingerie in a children's cartoon.

[@caseygibson7266]

Okay so the main kid is Leonardo, the bootleg superhero is Cosmo and the elf girl sounds like Harley Quinn. This is an awful crossover.

[@ArendAlphaEagle]

Chance Gibson oh, if only the Old Man was in this too. And Trixie. Specfically Trixie Lulamoon, because that makes sense considering Kathleen Barr.

[@DeathLord1212000]

actually, the superhero sounds more like timmy's dad then cosmo. Although they are the same VA.

[@mrdropkicker1]

Apparently the cousin is Jimmy Neutron too

[@TackyRackyComixNEO]

+DeathLordlongnumber Why even bother to make that correction if they're the same voice actor

[@neilstewart5931]

Chance Gibson I think you mean Timmys dad

[@DokkaChapman]

Super Duper Guy - "and here's where I'd keep my xmas cheer.... IF I HAD ANY!"

[@ruyekahatori3073]

Tommy: Super Duper Guy, do you think my cousin's hot? S.D.G-uh, I can't answer that due to the fact that I'm 40...and a toy

[@Remythechef]

Jessie’s dad is an ass? Dinkleberg!

[@TinkatonOCorviknightBodies]

Jessie: Hey, what toy goes in this small box? Super Duper Guy: Actually Jessie, that’s the box containing your father’s hopes and dreams! Jessie: *drops and breaks it* Oops. My bad. Super Duper Guy: Don’t worry, Jessie. Your father’s hopes and dreams were shattered years ago... Jessie: Really? When? Super Duper Guy: How old are you?

[@AxioProductions]

Super Duper Guy went on to voice the dad from Fairy Odd Parents

[@BlazeHeartPanther]

@@AxioProductions and Cosmo, Anti-Cosmo, and Jorgen Van Strangle,

[@realxized]

I'm so happy Gabrielle's voice actress really shines as Taimi in Guild Wars 2. She's incredibly talented and has a lot of range outside of the talent void of Golden Films

[@kilderok]

Holy crap really?! Would've never guessed.

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

Debi Derryberry

[@sapientcube9788]

I find it hard to feel sympathy for Jessie in regards to his relationship with his dad given that the dad is a Colonel in the military which, last I checked is a very time consuming and stressful job.

[@shwahgamer]

Plus, Jessie is being a brat about everything and treating people terribly. So it's hard to feel sympathy for him even if the dad had a different job.

[@ARedMagicMarker]

"I care about you Jessie, because I was *designed* to!" :D **Jessie cries harder.**

[@sarah98917]

Why would they write that line!?

[@Tareltonlives]

The Ghost Dad gag is still priceless. Just dark enough!

[@dudeyoureavegetarian6280]

Why the hell do they have a framed picture of a car on their wall? The spoon photo in The Room made more sense.

[@SonicXtreme99akaCreeperMario]

dudeyoureavegetarian I eat meat

[@tsnophaljakarax9963]

Maybe the dad just really liked his car a lot....and that's why his wife left him. She found out.

[@paulmajano]

It should have been a football.

[@ultimatedarkrai255]

My uncle had a framed photo of his first car it could also be a painting

[@crimsondynamo615]

The framed cucumber in Wallace’s house suddenly makes sense

[@Blackheartzero]

Phelous, if you wanna get rid of Bat Hero so badly, give him a walky-talky, walk out of the room for a few seconds then come back. he'll drop dead due to abandonment the instant you see him again, guaranteed! i mean it worked for the Leonardo brat...

[@AndersLindroth]

Is it weird that I think this guy is funnier than Nostalgia Critic? I know NC is more popular, but his reviews never make me laugh as much as Phelous' do. I usually think NC's comments are kind of predictable while Phelous always surprise me with hilarious voice overs and random character cameos.

[@johnnyd3158]

Anders Lindroth The Nostalgia Critic has really lost his touch ever since his revival in 2013. Nowadays, he's like a carbon copy of the Blockbuster Buster.

[@SongbirdAlom]

I still like Doug a lot, and he has some really insightful thoughts in his reviews. But line for line, Phelous always makes me laugh harder.

[@JThom529]

Anders Lindroth not at all. I’ve found Phelous’s comedy to be more amusing too nowadays

[@EagleTimberWolf]

tbh Phelous actually gives me a lot of NC vibes now and then only his particular "brand" of reviews are packaged in a more "kidult" fashion, which is pretty amusing

[@Remythechef]

As long as the #Changethechannel situation is STILL being ignored, I’ll watch Phelous over him any day of the week

[@TheNumnutRandomness]

I was gonna argue that hand holding wasn't necessarily a sign of attraction, but then I realized that 1) I would be defending a shitty Golden Films movie 2) I saw the rest of the film. Seriously, why did she have to be his cousin? The overtones are ridiculous. He could've been staying with a friend of his Dad's.

[@reptile1677]

Because it takes place in Shelbyville

[@JinlongTheGoldenDragon]

I think they pulled a sailor moon and she was supposed to be his girlfriend but then they changed it last minute

[@PlanetZoidstar]

@@JinlongTheGoldenDragon Reminds me of the creepy edit 4KIDS did to the "Beauty and the Beach" episode of Pokemon where the Old Man leers at Misty and the dub has him say "You remind me of my grandaughter!" but they do nothing to edit his blatantly aroused expression.

[@shwahgamer]

@@PlanetZoidstar I assume that's the same episode where James enters a bikini contest wearing fake boobs and they had to ban it from him saying to Misty, "Yours will never be as big as mine?"

[@PlanetZoidstar]

@@shwahgamer That's the same episode.

[@Theladywiththeblackdress]

Jessy's father looks like an older version of the MC in Grandma got run over by a reindeer

[@PurpleWind64]

Took me a while to get that MC meant "Main Character" and not the rapping kind, "Microphone Controller".

[@EagleTimberWolf]

Maybe this story takes place after Spankenheimer lost his Christmas spirit when he realized how stupid his last name was?

[@ShadeMeadows]

@@PurpleWind64 Well.. Now i know what Both MCs means

[@sarah98917]

Yeah I sorta see it now.

[@fenrir-art4742]

Reindeer Tony Tony Chopper was not present in fixing this boring movie.

[@stephenbrown4698]

Every time Phelous uploads a video, I am reminded that there is hope for humanity after all.

[@MusicalSeizureGuy]

When I see an overwhelmingly positive reply to an overwhelmingly positive comment it also reminds me there is hope for humanity! ;)

[@austinpersing3132]

Every time I see an overwhelmingly positive reply to an overwhelmingly positive reply to an overwhelmingly positive comment on a Phelous video it reminds me that that there is still hope for humanity

[@Zek3nator]

Are you all positive about that?

[@dancepiglover]

… until you see the clips of the movie.

[@teedup8995]

Every time he uploads a new video a hunchback gets his wings.

[@louielars5015]

The soldier no one cared about dies of loneliness

[@Prudenceagain]

Am i seriously the only one who found it hilarious how the soldier action figures start dancing??? 12:22 what's with their weird "eeeeek! A rat!!" expression and moves!! XD

[@crimson_king89]

Lol, no, I died laughing at their expressions. It looks like they're in pain, lol.

[@gracekim1998]

You’re not alone 😂

[@Acidfrog475]

The copy and pasted expression + girlypop dance are beautiful

[@kimifw58]

The thing with Jessie and his cousin is known as a relationship writing fumble. It's kind of like an unintentional ship tease. This case makes me think of the one with Ben and Gwen, being originally written as classmates and then changed to cousins late in planning. And because this is from a substandard animation studio, there was probably a lot of miscommunication among writers and animators regarding this change.

[@PassTheMarmalade1957]

I was wondering if the animation team thought they were supposed to be boyfriend and girlfriend.

[@shwahgamer]

I didn't know that Ben and Gwen were going to be just classmates. I guess there's little reason for them to be cousins specifically. After all, why would his grandpa take him and one random classmate on a countrywide RV trip with no other adult supervision? It'd look more like a kidnapping if they did that. Yeah making them related was the only way it made any sense.

[@kritzkrieg14]

.. I never noticed any tension of this nature between Ben and Gwen wdym bro

[@discontinuedchannel2392]

7:02 Handsome Squidward? IS THAT YOU?!!?

[@vivimariefedorov7374]

Beauty: (gasp! 😍) Beast: Loneliness rising!!! (croaks)

[@kimberlymyung6469]

I swear, sometimes Jesse's dad looks like Handsome Squidward.

[@anikmonette2140]

redloiyu654jay Hit the door on him several more times, so we truly know what he looks like!

[@EagleTimberWolf]

Kimberly Myung Thanks to this comment, I couldn't make it through the rest of the review WITHOUT picturing his dad doing that dramatic slow-motion "ballet dance" as he falls XD

[@Chloe4656.]

I don't see it.

[@rhett8-u1n]

This is easily one of your best, phelous, and your jokes are 100% spot on (your Cosby is fantastic). BUT, I gotta say that Cam Clarke stole the show here. From his smacking around his own teammates, his almost bipolar response to things, him giving that sick guy the middle finger that the way he just blows up at those boxes, he was just dishing out a Christmas Dinner of ham and cheese, and every time he was on screen ended with me in tears.

[@Shamandigi62091]

So this what happens when old man owns a toy store

[@jackmcslay]

Now he'll have to throw all these toys out, because they got all wet from the snow

[@gwendolynstata3775]

He got the idea while he was shacked up with Danny Thomas the Toymaker.

[@animebro14]

And they're useless now~

[@mitchfletcher2386]

@@animebro14 HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@robertstephen8372]

@Harsh Sidhu Harsh Sidhu Old Man they were useless before they got wet.

[@ArendAlphaEagle]

Babes in Toyland was weirder than I remembered

[@Greedfa]

ArendAlphaEagle you mean, it's not about hot girls?

[@ArendAlphaEagle]

CreepyPinkiePie i don't think the original was about hot girls either. But then the title would've made more sense at least

[@Greedfa]

ArendAlphaEagle true

[@SpeedyEric1]

Yeah. This version doesn't have the song about Cincinnati.

[@andrewollmann304]

SpeedyEric1 They used to call it Cincy but since Cincy is so natty.

[@TheForbiddenDBag]

It's the Golden Films cartoon where someone does stay dead from "death by loneliness".

[@kingofthegundam7974]

I feel so bad for Bat Hero.

[@RedHatMeg]

You know, only while viewing this review for the third-fourth time, I've realized that the dead soldier from the opening dream sequance and the toy soldier Jessie is later assigned to stay with and dies, is the same guy.

[@gracekim1998]

It’s foreshadowing?🤔

[@kritzkrieg14]

my dude had to die twice. Die of loneliness :(

[@johnnyd3158]

Behold, Bootleg Zone the Movie!

[@phreakazoith2237]

I want to see the dad being saved by Baltard and BatHero.

[@rcct44444]

Johnell Diaz with surprise Halloweenie cameo

[@ArendAlphaEagle]

11:04 actually that's a Feather. They still got the power all wrong though, Feathers are supposed to give you a cape.

[@tumulovermelho93]

never stop the early ending joke, it's always fun

[@nerdsman567]

The overly sexualized elf girl's voice sounds like Harley Quinn.

[@dragonempress8367]

nerdsman567 oh I get it they're both over sexualized!

[@bromodragone8405]

nerdsman567 It's Kathleen Barr.

[@nerdsman567]

Alucard, More Awesome Than Chuck Norris Wow, really?! In that case, she does a pretty good impression of Arleen Sorkin's Harley Quinn!

[@prowlandsasuke]

Alucard, More Awesome Than Chuck Norris sounds like Debbie who played jimmy neutron. who also obviously plays Gabriella.

[@rudeboyzippo]

I was thinking the elf chick was Arleen Sorkin myself, but I guess she's not.

[@Dewotto]

5:55 A. He's not even typing on the keyboard B. His hand is going in front of the layer that the actual PC is so he's just tapping his fingers on top of the computer. *Truly golden animation*

[@andreasnickmann370]

Funfact: A movie was being planned in which Phelous, with the help of Baltard, Robert Cop, Motorcycle the Pooh, a ridiculously named rooster toy, the Evilstick and some TMNT-knockoffs, would rescue Old Man, who was stuck on a snowy mountain and (since snow is frozen water) therefore completely useless now. But his cousin refused to participate. She said, "I'm not making out with my cousin! That's gross!" That's why the film was never made. Phelous still tried to salvage the project and suggested that Allison could play the part, but the producer said, "Is she your cousin? If not, I have to decline the proposal."

[@andreasnickmann370]

But actually, to be fair: it's more fun, less fact. 🤔 But actually, it's not even fun. It's just a fever dream without the "fever" part.

[@Shamandigi62091]

You know what would be a real miracle a old man cameo

[@ArendAlphaEagle]

"This heavy snowfall is making those toys wet! They're completely useless now..."

[@yuseeme90]

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

[@MiloTheMightyDude]

This airplane with these military guys is getting wet! It's useless now! ...and that is how the dad was crashed. It was an old man.

[@SpeedyEric1]

Looks like that comment was expected.

[@shockedkirby6368]

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[@davidspring4003]

...the awkward moment when Tommy Wisou is a better actor than this kid.

[@justinjolly3144]

David Spring Or Derek savage

[@sharkhammr]

David Spring while on the soccer field: "I did not hit him. I did naaaaaht."

[@TheAngelmisa]

I feel sorry for cam clarke

[@nastynate4916]

They betrayed me, they didn’t keep their promise, they tricked me, and I don’t care anymore.

[@URFTBOUND4LIFE]

I can't stop laughing at the soldiers dancing in the background during the musical number. Damn this movie is going to kill me! Lol

[@LNER4771]

No Old Man? This review is completely useless now.

[@TheAngelmisa]

GreenArrowProductions I know agreed. This is criminal!

[@GreenDiablo]

I don't know why Jessie's dad was so confused as to how his son got to that mountain. Clearly his first assumption shoulda been that Jessie abused the bad scene continuity to get there.

[@Kashi-K]

WHY DOES SUPER DUPER GUY SOUND LIKE TIMMY TURNER'S DAD

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

Same VA.

[@gracekim1998]

oh SHIT

[@DistractedGlobeGuy]

And Cosmo. And Jorgen. And... Gordy?

[@jeremyrichard9579]

I didn’t know Timmy Turner’s dad was in this movie

[@Astolfo2001]

DINKLEBERG!

[@norah6147]

@@Astolfo2001 The Lady Who Voices Trixie In This Movie Too

[@Dragonage2ftw]

Watching this Christmas Classic again!

[@rhodopisdenile8977]

I'm guessing that soldier died of loneliness.

[@jetfire851]

Missed opportunity for a joke: when Phelous says "It's just a giant snow job on screen right now", he should've cut to Snow Job from GI Joe.

[@danielkaufman2776]

Who?

[@thegayghost872]

That's seriously a character's name?

[@mrlaz9011]

@@thegayghost872 you know, for kids!

[@gracekim1998]

@@mrlaz9011 😂 yeah well I’ve seen worse

[@Astolfo2001]

And is it just me or am I the only one who would love to see a bunch of animators here on the internet team up together to reanimate this insane Christmas movie a la Saberspark's Joshua and the Promised Land Reanimate Collab?

[@RubykonCubes3668]

That'd be epic XD

[@gracekim1998]

You know!!!😮

[@Tareltonlives]

I'd watch that

[@TheMediaRaptor]

Is it wrong I want Krampus to appear and take out all the characters?

[@goufr3540]

Not sure if the Krampus would even want these characters, might send them over to Nightmare Feddy.

[@Akira-ue2jw]

CWDTrixie teddy, teddy, brother of the freddy!

[@HORRIOR1]

No Bobby that is normal.

[@NodDisciple1]

Yo Trixie, Kathleen Barr is the Elf Lady. :P

[@goufr3540]

NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...Actually not sure if thats bad or good. What would Fat Grandma say?

[@LchanOtakudom]

That was a lot of fun to watch, Phelous! You are always awesome, even when forced to suffer through GoldenDingoGoodTimes crap!

[@therealmanos]

"How's Annie? HOW'S ANNIE??"

[@davidspring4003]

Annie are you ok? Hey, Annie, are you ok? Are you ok, Annie?

[@Jude300c]

I'm over here dying laughing. Every film just has to find a way to put that circle of death dancing animation in there lool

[@riverscuomo7140]

PHELOUS. PHELOUS, HOLY FUCK. SUPER DUPER GUY IS VOICED BY TIMMY'S DAD IN FAIRLY ODD PARENTS. "I'M SHOWING RESPECT BY KNOCKING ON THE DOOR BUT ASSERTING MY AUTHORITY AS A SUPERHERO BY COMING IN ANYWAY!"

[@LizardOfOz69]

This Shelf is where I keep my #1 best selling stickered Box, *if I had any!*

[@gracekim1998]

OMG! That explains so much 😂

[@lemonmelon1883]

Probably a long shot, but what if Jesse is actually Old Man in his younger days? That would explain why he's such a shit father. He followed his late father's example and somehow ended up being the crappier dad. I wonder when Beauty's toys will come to life and force him to fix his relationships with his kids

[@BlackBeWhite2k7]

And old man's kids are all the product of him and his cousin, Gabriella ...Not Beauty's lack of proper brain function.

[@mrlaz9011]

That's why he made sure to burn all her toys before they could come to life.

[@ser6Ijvolk]

Between the hot cousin and the sexy elf, this is easily the best Goodtimes flick of the bunch.

[@ricardohuff8774]

Yes this movie rocks and those girls are hot.

[@Armaldo468]

You all need to go drink a whole gallon of water with your thirsty asses. Jesus. Attractive women are arguably my favorite things, but this is pathetic. Oh, and Gabriella’s probably no more than like 14-15 at most, so that *totally* doesn’t make you look bad or anything.

[@ser6Ijvolk]

@@Armaldo468 If people caring about cartoon girls is pathetic, then how pathetic are you for caring about people caring about cartoon girls?

[@heathercalun4919]

"You disgust me son. This is why I don't want to spend time with you" ROFL

[@Chimerism101]

In all fairness, "I had to get toys to help me save my daddy!" could be used for an insanity plea...

[@dragonlover7196]

"bummer, dude :(" i want that to be my eulogy

[@olgamihailovic3425]

This was my first ever Phelous review and I'm so glad I clicked on it. I didn't expect it to make me laugh so hard, I've been hooked on your videos ever since!

[@matieubissonnette3212]

I can't believe I missed the Twin Peaks reference the first time I watched this!

[@U014B]

Literally EVERYONE in this fatpile has blue eyes except the only black guy, and he's wearing opaque shades. They sure went to a lot of effort not to go to zero effort. Also, those backup dancer soldiers' faces. _shudders_

[@QueenJenesis]

You should do Goodtimes Nutcracker.

[@Tareltonlives]

Oh, like this can be worse than Magic Gift of the Snowman... ....I was wrong

[@loneshewolf74]

I wonder if this is based (very loosely) on the 70's version of the Babes in Toyland operetta, but they changed the title to Miracle in Toyland because they thought "babes" (meaning children) sounded too raunchy. Which doesn't explain that Naughty Elf Barbie doll...

[@Astolfo2001]

I think this might have been made to cash in on the success of both the OG Evangelion tv show and movies and the first two Toy Story movies. It's just that they haphazardly slapped Christmas on it at the last minute.

[@mrlaz9011]

@@Astolfo2001 what the hell would this have to do with Evangelion?

[@Astolfo2001]

@@mrlaz9011 The emotionally unstable protagonist and his almost as emotionally unstable cousin, his jerk of a father, and the fact that Cam Clarke and Debi Debbiberry were doing the best impressions of Spike Spencer and Tiffany Grant respectively.

[@mrlaz9011]

@@Astolfo2001 nah, it's still quite a stretch, mentaly unstable characters aren't an Eva exclusive. I'd be more inclined to believe you if they turned into goo at the end or something.

[@mrlaz9011]

@@Astolfo2001 although it's still funny to compare the two.

[@somed214]

This kid is a sucker. The Air Force isn't starting "training missions" on Christmas Eve. His dad went to be with his real family.

[@maxordman4100]

I’m probably reading too much into this movie but I think that Super Duper guy and the Sexy elf are supposed to be how Jesse sees his cousin and himself in his mind, which makes all the close scenes with them even creepier. However there has to be something to this theory, just look at them. Jesse looks like a younger Super Duper guy and Gabriellla and sexy elf look like twins almost!

[@thefunnychiptuneman]

it kinda makes sense

[@rikpeek6664]

i quess goldenfilm heard the complains that people have on the spoiling opening of beauty qnd the beast and thought: 'well than we just make an intro that has noyhing to do with the vireo! heeeuuuuuuggghhhhhee!' (yes, i think every person that works for goldenfilms sounds like old man)

[@berlinsaintclair9100]

So this is my favorite review out of all yours...especially of the Golden films. And that says a lot because all your reviews are awesome. This cartoon is just so freaking bizarre that it makes it rife for comedy. I seriously am just blown away by what they were thinking writing this script.

[@toxics.]

"Kiss my ass, bat hero!" Another of Phelous's gold comments

[@DerOrk]

9:57 Jessie is layered on top of his cousin.

[@ThePreciseClimber]

Um, phrasing? :P

[@bromodragone8405]

ThePreciseClimber HEHA!

[@utterlyepical]

Bless you phelan. I'd been craving an animated film review like nothing else. Happy holidays you beautiful animal

[@Grey_Warden_Invasion]

You know how that opening sequence would also make sense even with the father still being alive? If the boy was playing with his toys that his father gave to him, imagining him into his game, it keeps reminding him of his father - who is still at war - and he wished his father would be home for Christmas.

[@Pineappolis]

Absolutely. It really feels like that opening was written for an earlier draft of the story and they just forgot to change/remove it.

[@Gfrog1000]

How should we begin this cute magical child-friendly Christmas movie? With a fucking death filled war scene of course!

[@ruby7951]

That elf has a garter belt and suspenders even though she doesn't seem to be wearing stockings for those things to connect to.

[@dreamguardian8320]

And also a heart on her panties.

[@AWasteOfYourTime8205]

Honestly the "Toys" look like people in cosplay

[@sunnysurfer101MA]

I didn't know Maeby and George-Michael were the stars of this

[@Kirasanban]

Yes! I knew I wasn't the only one thinking that

[@SonicXtreme99akaCreeperMario]

When’s your next video?

[@SpiderMwa]

And here I thought they couldn't get any worse... They're ruining all the childhoods in the world! Also, I've always been curious: where is that "WHY?" thing from?

[@phelous]

It's just something I made for the Skinned Deep review.

[@SpiderMwa]

Phelan Porteous Ah, that's were it originated! It's been a long time since I've watched your older reviews. I've seen all of them. :D

[@Carusofilmsltd]

Wtf

[@mevicky100]

SpiderMwa this is going to make me sound like a big ol' dummy dumb, but how did you comment on this two weeks ago when it was released today?

[@SpiderMwa]

mevicky100 Patreon support.

[@EagleTimberWolf]

Is it wrong that the part that made me laugh the hardest was the part when he thought his dad was dead? I know that's extremely fucked up to say but his reaction to it is just... "Edgelord" is an understatement for this guy XD

[@angelpichu1]

so...anyone notice the random pikachu plush at around 8:44? here's a screencap: i.imgur.com/ekaS5Hs.jpg he's also wearing a poohbear shirt so i guess i'll call it.....winnie-the-chu. in other news...my GOD this was a bad movie. and weird. bad and weird >.>

[@lucasbell4831]

IceHighwind Well, I guess you're Australian, who also happens to be looking for the good life.

[@jaysonrogoz8822]

Include a green Godzilla on a third shelves.

[@python1972]

Lucas Bell Was that a boyinaband reference?

[@rallandtariv2139]

I have no idea why, but I keep watching this review I think this means it’s my favorite

[@ab-gail]

_Kid starts talking_ Me: Hello, Cam. Phelous: Hello, Cam Clarke. Jinx!

[@mikethegrunty5968]

YES! I've been on a major phelous kick lately and this is so what I needed

[@PassTheMarmalade1957]

Why are Jesse and Gabriella hanging out at the toy store when they look about 13?

[@KeybladeMasterAndy]

Lady Marmalade Because why not? It has go carts, and even 13 year olds irl actually like fun places.

[@ArendAlphaEagle]

13? they look like 16 to me

[@TheForbiddenDBag]

Their weird stumpy faces look no different than the adults and their voices are wildly miscast. I looked into this for a minute, these weird humans was Golden Films' artstyle before they wre done producing these. So in the end you have what look like 25 year old midgets childishly kicking boxes in a toy store.

[@TheAngelmisa]

+Browned 79 such as badass anime manga marvel dc video game figmas

[@TheAngelmisa]

+CHRIS CONLEY true

[@yuri_art_92]

21:48 his fucking ear disappearing!

[@MforMovesets]

It's completely useless now.

[@yuri_art_92]

Eeeeeeeeegh!

[@LchanOtakudom]

Yuri SC HIS EAR MY GOD!

[@phreakazoith2237]

I guess everyone else of the toy pack envys him for not having to listen to that kid

[@matt0044]

God, Cam Clarke's putting his all into such a shit script. Seriously, it's so melodramatic.

[@Astolfo2001]

And it helps that Jesse Justice is practically a bargain-bin hybrid between Shinji Ikari from Evangelion and Andy from Toy Story.

[@JacobHill97]

Gendo Ikari is a better father than Jessie's dad.

[@mrlaz9011]

Can't wait for him to reveal that Jessie's cousin is actually a clone of his dead mother.

[@SiRenfield]

Taking the final Rebuild movie in to account, probably. Least Gendo got something of a redemption arc

[@sarah98917]

​@@SiRenfieldAgreed