What Happens When Girls Grow Up Without A Father? - Sadia Khan

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Chris and Sadia Khan discuss the impacts of growing up without a father has on young women. Why does Sadia Khan believe there is a prevalent anti-family culture? What are the biggest impacts according to Sadia Khan? What is Sadia Khan's idea of parental alienation?
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[@ChrisWillx]

Hello you legends. Full episode with Sadia goes live this Monday - press Subscribe! Get a Free Sample Pack of all LMNT Flavours with your first box at www.drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom

[@DTreatz]

"What Happens When Girls Grow Up *_In Single Mother Homes_* " *Fixed that for you 💊

[@mchandmusic]

@@DTreatzThe child experiences life as “without a father” not has “having a single mother”. The title is child-centered language.

[@alexvo6873]

Ok, and what percentage of population is actually not broken by these issues? Maybe 10%? In Russia, for example, most of population have a full family: me+ma+grandma. What is also interesting - the nuclear Putin's support are women 55+. And most of those women are lonely cos half of men doesn't reach 65 years old. Does that mean that the situation is basically unfixable? It's gonna be broken men who dies young and lonely broken women will vote for monarchy?

[@ChuckNorris-lf6vo]

This girl bro awesome content from her really reveals a big part of "the map". She can raise 100 children she convinced me to give them to her.

[@Portia620]

She needs to address the dad not being on children’s life.😂🤦‍♀️. Dont assume anything when dating someone whose ex is not in their life..this lady has clearly not heard the word toxic people as they abandon people. She also has a point about older men never married but not all are Peter Pan syndrome no doubt but many are and many problem have STD’s or some other issues if never married. It’s an orange flag meaning proceed with caution.

[@littleeva]

The sad truth is that having children doesn't necessarily make a person straighten up. I know scores of people who had kids and kept on with their own bad behavior.

[@regaliaretailfashionmerch4314]

Exactly, while making some small superficial change that really doesn't make the cut - - the change that was needed to be a good parent, which was to be fixed BEFORE HAVING A CHILD

[@lightofall]

No no no f no. Don't have a kid to sort your life out. Sort your life out first before having children. I don't agree with a lot of what this woman says

[@RecklessInspirer]

I agree with you! I was surprised to hear her even recommend that

[@Christian_Bagger]

That’s right… a kid won’t sort your life out… you need to reach a sufficient level of progress in straighten yourself out… it doesn’t have to a perfect standard, but still sufficient… then when you get kids, you get more straighten out to a level that was out of reach beforehand. If you get kids before that threshold, the kid will just sink with you.

[@harrisonmccoll1093]

If you try to sort your life out before having kids, you'll probably never end up having kids.

[@sammarchant2703]

Depends on what you mean. No one is ever sorted out. Be working on your issues at all times, but don't put off having children because you are waiting to become perfect. I would say we have a bigger problem with people putting off important decisions because they are insecure than people making the decisions who aren't ready.

[@Christian_Bagger]

@@sammarchant2703 For sure.. as I understand it and read it is, if you’re walloped by your own tragedy and think having a kid will save you, you most likely drown and you take the kid with you. You need to have reach a certain level of stability and responsibility. You need to have straighten yourself out to a degree were it makes sense. We all have proclivity to stagnate and/or degenerate, and you wish to be in a state where you climb onwards towards your best self rather than reverse. You won’t be perfect, but part of the right mindset is to acknowledge that, be content with that, and try carve out the best you. If you’re in the gutter, you should properly postpone having children.

[@hanooi7450]

Yes, both men and women have to elevate their game once they have children. You are forced into a role of leadership and responsibility. Even if you never make manager or executive at work, husband, wife, children means you are an executive at home.

[@marie.s9995]

I grew up without a father. He died of cardiac arrest, and I was just 14. Now we're of age, everyone in my family are healthcare professionals. Heart disease runs in our family and we wanted to protect our mother and our family by living a faithful, productive and appropriate life.

[@nanncyponce960]

At least you have a peace of mind that he is in a better place but having a father in the same city and never visits is ten worst feeling ever

[@noconsentgiven]

Not all stories are the same. All this talk about children, but have any of you really looked how badly this world is prepared for them? There are entire families living on the street, living in slums, and living in waste dumps. Where are they getting this information? Why doesnt it match reality? Who can afford children? Gone are the days of "we'll figure it out as we go".

[@kingadatoma]

Change the country.

[@noconsentgiven]

@@kingadatoma Changing the system does not change the humans within.

[@rivkaki]

still, why take out the evils of the world on innocent children? many children who grow up in such environments turn out to be very decent successful people because they know hardship like no one else. hardship produces character. the life of a child is more important than the terrible things in the world.

[@stevegaines-vq3bd]

neither of them are regular ppl....both look like millionaire super models...surrounded by YES ppl.....get anything they want sexually.....the top 1% of humans

[@flybabyskybaby]

😂thinking the same ​@@kingadatoma

[@chrislategan8242]

I'm 41. I think being a father would be wonderful. A brain tumour at 33 left me without the ability to have children. Luckily I survived, healed up and met the love of my life. She did not want children. Unfortunately I'm 9 years older than her and her father wasn't present in her youth. She left me in January after 5 beautiful years together. I miss her. I hope she's happy. Appreciate the love you have while you have it. ❤❤

[@PatchedBandit]

Similar story for me but I could probably have children still. I'm 38 and been battling a brain tumour for the last 2 years. The health issue made me completely exit the dating scene and I'm still not a 100% so it's tough to start dating with having to explain some of these issues to a new person. I feel like I don't want to throw this shit to anyone who doesn't need to deal with these things. I feel you bro 🙏 Being here and in relative health is the main thing though. Not all of us need to have children and maybe we can both be stepdads to someone and do it well one day.

[@ThePonyd]

Thanks for your story internet stranger. Keep your head up!

[@Antonocon]

I'm 43. I had a very toxic father and family. I got a good education, made enough money to buy a place, and I have moved 10,000 km's away from them after lots of therapy. I never wanted my parents to be around my kids. I'm now ready to settle down as my life circumstances are good. Took a lot of therapy to stay away from toxic women that I fell in love with in the past. Who is this lady actually speaking to? Those who have had perfect lives? A lot of us had a lot of ramifications from our past. I highly think, like all women, most of her views relate to the top 4% of men (with respect to looks, height and finances).

[@PossibleBat]

Maybe move on from her and understand that if she didn’t want children, maybe she wasn’t the love of your life. Maybe there’s someone who wants what you want out there, there’s still time. Accept it and move on.

[@luckyrockmore2796]

Once the trash goes out that's where it should stay. You're better off

[@terranceweis5231]

For me growing up without a father all I wanted was to be what I never had. A father and husband my family could be proud of by being there for them every day. Relationships are hard and having children doesn't make it easier. But people aren't as unique as they think. Most relationships have the same basis day to day needs and it's the little things couples quit doing for eachother that snowballs into a divorce. So if you truly love someone and you both want children how you raise them needs to be discussed almost at nauseum before making that leap. It's the best thing I've done with my life by far. I've seen far too many families break up when the kids are young and it breaks my heart.

[@dll7658]

❤

[@frequentlycynical642]

My ex and I never discussed child rearing, yet we raised three incredible daughters. We had the template from our loving parents. She and I have discussed this perception of mine, she agrees. OTOH, my father's father was a gambler, a womanizer, and all around jerk. Yet my father escaped that and was a great father to my sibs and me. I met a woman many years ago that I fell incredibly in love with. The peak emotional experience of my life to this day. I thought for sure she was a catch insofar as her upbringing. A stable, loving, midwestern family. The proverbial white picket fence childhoodl Yet, she was unable to say that she loved me except during almost violent makeup sex. Almost forty years later, we are still in contact. Never a moment for a fond memory, she says "Why live in the past?" She'll be 70 in a couple of months, better looking than most women even now, and has never been married, despite having a loving father. I guess my ramble is just saying, "You never know." Life is a crapshoot.

[@TomBreezy1]

This is sort of a reach. She's essentially saying have kids to fix your issues. There's millions of crap parents out there. If having kids was the ultimate solution then people would be alot happier than they are now

[@johnboy6594]

Alot of those crap parents should have stayed childless. Too many parents that should not be.

[@Antonocon]

@@johnboy6594 They had kids to fit in with society. They lacked empathy for those children or ability to care for them correctly. I'm sure with this lady's perfect looks she fitted in perfectly with societies outward expectations and was easily able to get exactly the type of man she wanted that also did. Life isn't so rosy for everyone. She'll find out as her looks fade. Maybe she'll be more understanding then.

[@playpal9950]

Divorce Lawyer James Sexton says a lot of couples have a child thinking it’ll save the marriage only for them to get divorced anyway.

[@MrXaphus]

She's just pointing out that if your life has no strong purpose then having children is something that is pretty much guaranteed to force you to focus and self-motivate - not that you should just go out and do it

[@Sadstudent-oj6oc]

I don’t think they fix your issues. They can give you the ultimate reason to fix your problems. Whether parents do or don’t is up to them.

[@mattng4707]

It takes everything to raise them well .. the hardest is dealing with your own issues so they never get pass on

[@chibs67]

You're competing with people's childhood, not other women/men.....A WORD!! This resonates so much with me.

[@xEXABYTEx]

I think saying a man who is 40 and has no family, has chosen that is a gross misrepresentation. There is way more in that bag than " i just chose this".

[@themick6586]

I have nothing in common with my wife of 44 years, she is 2 months older than myself, she does things I don't do and I do things she dosnt, and it works well for both of us.

[@elizabethstrahan4535]

Thank you, just thank you. I am very concerned about what fatherlessness has done to men, but we have to recognize that fatherless women is a major variable in the difficulties we are currently experiencing

[@dontstalkmedeltoro8816]

I don't have a father. That is not my fault. Nor is society woes my fault. Maybe put some responsibility on the men that are not being fathers. Instead of putting that 100% on women that didn't do anything wrong.

[@vianhoho19]

​@@dontstalkmedeltoro8816well if you look at the divorce statistics, it's the moms that are separating their children from their biological dads. I mean yeah sure, let's hold the dads that are actually deadbeats accountable, but if we look at the stats, the moms are the ones dealing the most damage by initiating the separation 🤷🏻‍♂️ can't we address that too? Oh, that's right. holding women accountable today is somehow misogynistic. Gotcha 😅

[@djackson4605]

@@dontstalkmedeltoro8816 You misunderstood and just lashed out. Your defensiveness actually proves her point.

[@dontstalkmedeltoro8816]

@@djackson4605 well.. they are putting it on the daughters. Not the sons,but the daughters. Are they not? Like the father's did nothing. Nothing like blaming the victim for their own situations. Men that are also abandoned by fathers aren't to blame for anything....but women are. Just more blaming society issues all on women. Typical.

[@consistentbass]

Agree, it's a combination of both effects which all stems from the breakdown of the traditional family unit.

[@restingsmirkface]

I didn't choose to be "without responsibility". I wanted a family from 18 up until 32-33. Starting to accept that it probably won't happen. If women are told to prefer men who've had children, that's yet another pressure that will keep things from changing.

[@dontstalkmedeltoro8816]

My husband picked me when I had 3 kids already. His biggest goal in life was to have a big family. Well.. he got one. 20 years later were looking at early retirement and have 4 great adult kids. Plenty of kids need a father.

[@yol_n]

@@kronk358 like "responsability" matters. They can take the condom out of the trash if they want. Most of the time the impregnation is never at the hands of the man.

[@neozes]

Have you considered that you may be part of the hurdle, why you were not able find a partner till now?

[@JAKEBrakeModel94]

Yeah that’s a garbage take on her part. Complete garbage. A lot of guys want to be with a girl earlier on but girls are waiting around until they’re about to run out of clock around 30 and then cchoose long term relationships

[@yol_n]

@@JAKEBrakeModel94 discard and move to the next girl.

[@galian151]

Women without a father figure go for older men, and once they feel safe and secure they cheat on them with men of their age. So true! I've noticed that many times!

[@dontstalkmedeltoro8816]

That's because women need security from other men, especially if they don't have a father. We are taught this. I left my older husband for a younger man. He was 18 years younger than him. He never really got over that. But you know. He didn't do anything to keep me either. I don't have any regrets. In the end. Even my ex admitted I was with the right guy.

[@DTreatz]

@@dontstalkmedeltoro8816"he didn't do anything to keep me" Yeh, you definitely sound like a child... _still_

[@dontstalkmedeltoro8816]

@@DTreatz well.. he could have stayed sober and helped with his kids. But he didn't. Not sure why a man's failures always is on the woman.

[@mighty_wolf]

Facts

[@rig4365]

​​@@dontstalkmedeltoro8816you probably could've worded that differently

[@junetaylor8396]

My father was so abusive. My mother turned a blind eye as a lot of mothers do. I knew if I survived, I would always live alone. So happy to wake up every day and know I never will see him again.

[@crandonborth]

Damn... that's sad

[@Jenda-ld8dj]

At least that's how you feel now. However, there will be a time of remorse on his part as well as yours.

[@joshuamckenty8482]

Love how KZbin is giving us an ad every 1minute, with 2 at the start and now at the end too. Good to see that YT isn't in a downward spiral due to their business model!

[@duisburg4740]

My mum was violent, my whole childhood during In school I was bullied My mum doesn't accept a weakling. My dad was absent. That's how I turned slow in a violent person. With 22,i go in prison, till iam 30 Now iam wrecked honestly. I never get the experienced that someone loved me. But the prison was kind of a parent, in a weird way. I become stronger, and learned to understand my mind, and human. I never make the experienced how it feels to be loved A therapist said to me, that I hate myself, but I laughed at her. She was confused, and ask why iam laughing. I said, I don't hate me. I love me She ask me in a pissed tone, what I love at myself I love that iam gentle,honest, loyal, experienced, empathy, care about my family,confident, charisma, intelligent That was the last time, I speak with a therapist

[@vornamenachname608]

Sounds rough. It's also nice, that you are confident about yourself. I would not recommend going to a female therapist as a men ever. This is already a feminist advice. What a woman "feels" and says is often times real garbage. It's not her fault. I would rather talk with your brothers about eventual problems. The therapist for a men are his brothers, his motorcycle or activities, like music or sports. The therapist for a woman is talking about her issues. Remember that. Men do, woman talk.

[@refreshingtwist]

I cannot say this loud enough -- I would be bloody MISERABLE if I had to have kids. Some people just know themselves enough to know that that is not the path for them!

[@fizahaque]

I am happily married and we both are focused on self development before even considering kids. We had the kids talk multiple times and it is safe to say that we both keep ending up with the same answer, which is no kids for the time being nor the future. I really do not see myself being a mom rn but never say never I guess... Even tho I am pretty set on rn to not have any in the future either. But who knows. It can always change. Just do not really see it in future plans when I try to envision it.

[@FearTheSirens]

My wife was just like you with our first surprise. Your so wrong. Our second wasn't a surprise she wanted more. She always yof herself she's never have them but has since voe y understand that Perception was lead by fear

[@refreshingtwist]

@FearTheSirens Not a risk I'm willing to take!!

[@stevegaines-vq3bd]

if a man has a kid, the woman has him by the short hairs.....she can go to the courts & ruin him for 18 years.....He's now, her prisoner....He has to obey her 24/7/365....It's not worth it...

[@andrewkornhaber]

I like this interview, but suggesting that having kids is a form of "automatic therapy" that makes you "HAVE TO fix your traumas and behaviors" is wildly misleading. Having kids should absolutely encourage you to look at yourself and your behaviors, but many many parents DO NOT do this and pass along all their unhealed problems to their kids. This is how generational trauma works.

[@p0werl0ve]

good questions to ponder on and discuss. No recipe for a good life. Key point.

[@Caroline-up8nl]

I was married to a man 16 yrs older but after we had children & l felt financially secure l lost attraction to him and only was attacked to men my age or a bit younger … so this theory is definitely 💯 true

[@amomymousmymous8276]

thats because you stopped the contraceptive pill. it supresses your natural pheromones receptors

[@DogTrainer-zs4qw]

So what happened did you stay or leave?… I don’t have kids but kinda in a similar situation…

[@NiGHTS1980]

Did you grow up without a father? And did you cheat on your husband with a younger guy?

[@Caroline-up8nl]

This is a very late reply lol but l just noticed your question… l left and have absolutely no regrets. Better to live your truth then live a lie

[@chrismccarty903]

I’ve seen her on multiple podcasts. She is good. She does tend to truly believe what she says, and THAT is part of why we believe her, because she 100% thinks she is correct. No one person has all the answers. Follow the voice inside you more than ANYONE else.

[@inelhuayocan_aci]

This was precisely me: 8:06 . . . that is, until the broke the cycle myself. I got tired of being the good guy, I got tired of the type of girl I seemed to attract, but most of all I got tired of competing with ghosts of boyfriends past. I decided that I wanted to be and deserved to be the legend in the hall of her heart, especially if my intentions with her were pure.

[@celeste3100]

That’s so beautiful ❤ keep calling that in ✨🕊️

[@janinemelanie8391]

I absolutely agree with a lot of what Sadia says. One thing I’ll say is that things aren’t always so black and white. Sometimes a single mother won’t have good contact with the ex/biological father of the child because he was abusive/an addict/cluster b and she managed to get healthier herself to not be around men like that anymore. If the father is extremely unreliable or emotionally abusive and likely to harm the child or children emotionally or physically, it’s better she got away from him and heals herself to where she can bring a stable and healthy man into the child’s life

[@ethancavill]

Yes spot on

[@psico_steph]

This was going to be my comment. I have a 6 year old, I am 26, this was a very desired child, I love every single moment of motherhood His dad was exposing our child to environments where drugs where present His dad was using drugs And was abusive and not being present financially for us And I did everything in my hands to enable their relationship So do I drop my kid on fridays? No My kid was having behavioral issues due to his dad unexpressed anger His dad suit me for custody, even So, indeed, I’m being the best mother I could possibly be restricting their relationship While I hope their relationship is restored is not in my hands as I can’t control daddys behavior and need to protect my child first and foremost So every case is different, I really think that a good mother is the one that listens to her when her inner voice is saying what’s best for their children

[@psico_steph]

What I’ve done is to stick to the facts. I am not the victim. And dad is not the bad guy. We talk about how sometimes we need space from people who can hurt us. And how my job is to protect the both of us.

[@6renaa]

@@psico_steph Hold yourself accountable for having poor partner choices, get your kid out of that toxic environment, heal yourself and find a better partner that could be a good step-dad to him. There’s is nothing worse than someone claming they’ve done their best and ain’t perfect to cover their poor and selfish choices. You desiring that child and ✨loving your motherhood✨ despite knowing the father was awful is a proof. You know when you open your legs you’re in risk of getting pregnant and so offering a toxic environment to a little life that didn’t ask anything in consequence. Hold yourself accountable.

[@janinemelanie8391]

@@psico_steph ❤️❤️❤️

[@kylen4701]

They don't bring up the cost enough of having children. Ppl simply can't afford kids anymore.

[@ReginaMcNeish]

Very understandable. I agree, BUT when you realize that you are unable to afford children where you live. IT’S TIME TO MOVE…….. if you can not afford to move… that’s when you MUST realize YOU HAVE TO MOVE!!! 🤨 If someone had a million dollars for you across the country and all you had to do was go get it and you had no car, YOU WOULD FIGIRE OUT A WAY. That’s where GRIT/CHUTZPAH comes in. We have an epidemic of cowardice and THAT is an issue as well. The coward doesn’t get to have the chance to continue on their namesake..

[@kyliepechler]

Precisely. Leaving the insanely high cost of living and housing out of the discussion, was a puzzling omission.

[@jadebayliss9388]

Yes that’s a really good point

[@SS0895]

Then let their genes die. If someone can’t “afford” kids in an era that their ancestors could only ever dream of, they are a complete and total genetic failure. Modern Darwinism. It has never been easier in the history of humanity to have a family. This is virtually indisputable

[@luckyrockmore2796]

If you see young couples with a child or more chances are they are on some sort of government assistance programs ie you're paying for them.

[@totorishop]

I’ve retracted from society and from interacting with others because people don’t know the meaning of friendship anymore. There’s an incessant deep value being abided by that everything is only about me me me me, take take take take. I don’t trust anyone anymore. Good luck to me. Ha I know. I’d rather be alone then waiting, seeing and potentially paying for someone else’s unhealthy needs. I am now in the “it’s all about me” mode until I heal from my wounds. Working towards being open but setting strong boundaries. Which I believe still leads up to being alone anyway.

[@Jenda-ld8dj]

Most people will come to you to take from you.

[@garbonomics]

This question genuinely surprises me because the anti-family sentiment was entirely fostered by the feminist movement of the 20th century. Unlike the late 19th-century feminists who sought certain rights like the vote, it was feminists of the mid-twentieth century who truly articulated the idea that the family "is a prison for women" forced upon them by the patriarchy. The feminist literature of this era is replete with examples of this sentiment, one of which quickly caught on and helped foster, among other things, the sexual revolution.

[@Xeranx]

@@CosmicExplosion It was 19th century Feminists as well that were against the family. Look up Janice Fiamengo Studio B. She has videos talking about early Feminists and how they viewed the family. Also consider that Charles Fourier, who died in 1837 (roughly 11 years prior to 1847 Declaration of Sentiments), had sentiments of marriage being a prison for women and wanting women to compete with men. That means women would have to leave where they were dominant to compete in male dominated spaces. You can't hope to build healthy relationships with the opposite sex while also competing with them knowing that whether you're able to eat tomorrow comes down to you being better at the job than they are today.

[@Kickingitoldschoolbaby]

Wow Sadia is seriously sharp! Very insightful comments.

[@mchandmusic]

No wonder I’ve started to hear this talk of safety when people talk about their partners. We didn’t talk like that 20 years ago. We talked about who we were excited about and in love with.

[@tonebalone9203]

My assesment is, children remind us as humans how innocent we started, i think overall we appreciate how uncorrutped we used to be. N maybe we can guide this human to be better than us.

[@itsjoie3983]

Love this, Yes so true

[@ZivShaltiel]

That was really Insighting🙏

[@Truthbetold5]

Very true Saidia I have never in my 23years say the word father or dad . It's my norm i made my peace And i have never date men my age i didn't knew being fatherless was the issues, but now i know

[@davidtempest7175]

So Leonardo DiCaprio has low self esteem for dating younger women?????

[@0MoTheG]

No, he doesn't need a single partner because he can have any woman.

[@bluesapphire1575]

Yes

[@v9b23j]

I know a single mother who had a revolving door of men coming into her life while her daughter was going through puberty. Her daughter had temper tantrums, anger, ran away from home, and resented her mother for prioritizing her needs over the daughter's. And her daughter doesn't like her stepfather resulting in a uncomfortable dynamic between the three of them.

[@amaurys93]

I have two siblings who both grew up without their fathers. Likewise I did not have a father growing up. We all have issues, namely My youngest sibling who I think struggles with gender identity. They are more gender neutral at times but the lacking of role models in both men and women in our lives show themselves as these personal issues, I believe at least.

[@proudatheist2042]

People who aren't psychologically integrated are being drawn to the gender blender ideology to gain attention, love, and easy answers for tough problems that they themselves may not know exist.

[@beefcakesensei]

Your sentence structure is confusing... By "they" do you mean both of them or just your younger sibling?

[@gargantuangouda605]

I agree with @beefcakesensei... top name by the way.

[@r.walker7986]

everybody has problems

[@SpiritualAwakening-21]

Thanks for this topic

[@themick6586]

My ex self- sabotaged herself since the age of 18, she has 4 childern by 4 different fathers, most of them have little to do with her, she's now 65 living alone divorced for the 3rd time one of which she had no children with.

[@luckyrockmore2796]

Each subsequent sucker was bigger than the previous 🤦‍♂️

[@olivepostma6874]

Having children & doing the right thing or trying to be a great parent is hard work BUT certainly makes u a better person.

[@celeste3100]

I did date a divorced single father it was such a mess. He was still operating from his childhood/ex-wife trauma and I was his emotional dumping ground. I had to cut that loose.

[@MrGeoC]

Wow. So well said..

[@JaneReRe]

I noticed my friends who did not have older brothers look for approval in men and don't understand them as much. Brothers are a vital role as well.

[@edn8539]

Never heard a person tell so many wrong things in so short of a time in any video I have ever seen 😂 was to be expected though, that’s always the case when the person behaves as having “all the answers in the pocket”

[@15walkingaway]

Some of us don't want kinds for deep reasons. I have an illness with a strong genetic component, I will not pass that on to someone else. I'm far from suffering from "Peter Pan syndrome"

[@homodeus8713]

Nobody talks about fathers in the house who are not present or are abusive. Not enough is being said about girls who are being sexually molested and abused in the home. What about men who abandon their families due to addiction/alcoholism, who don't want to see or support their children you cannot blame the mother for that. The conversation these days is blaming the woman for everything and yes - we are very wary who we allow into our children's lives. The other thing is if you are a single parent who grew up with privilege, there is nothing wrong with encouraging your daughters to marry well and not because we need support but because it is healthy to marry a provider and protector.

[@mistergray888]

For once I sat there in complete agreeance! if only this kind of valuable wisdom was available 15 years ago, would have certainly saved me some headaches!

[@winstonsmith6204]

This woman speaks pure facts!!!!!!

[@naturallybeautiful9109]

We need to speak about father who are there but toxic and just not safe

[@pete6913]

We also need to speak about manipulative women who create a chaotic home because they are never happy and never take any responsibility for their own actions.

[@Jenda-ld8dj]

What is "toxic"?

[@mbpii]

I watch a couple of these and a point that Chris is missing in the “slow life strategy”is that housing/ rent is really high so moving out is becoming less of an option until your higher earning years

[@Kisa79164]

@5:35 I’m surprised Chris never pushed back on the fact that several men opt out of fatherhood because they don’t want responsibility. An absent father is not always due to an obstructive mother, we need to stop pushing this false narrative. There are also fathers who repeatedly disappoint children (e.g. missing important milestones, forgetting to pick them from school) causing trauma and forcing the mother to intervene. My position is, as a father, if you haven’t sought joint custody in the courts and your only rebuttal is “she won’t let me see my kids”, I can’t take you seriously

[@Jenda-ld8dj]

What little you know.

[@Kisa79164]

@@Jenda-ld8dj Enlighten me

[@Specialcot77]

Being a Teenager, Huband and Father was a Blessing. After the divorce definitely motivated me to be a better parents

[@mwanjeemmanuel5866]

Alot of wisdom from this lady, ive learnt alot, it's

[@zest6932]

The truly enlightened wont feel alone no matter what

[@yootoob1001001]

Right, though hopefully generations going forward step up and take care of their issues because most people don't. They provide basic necessities required by law and maybe a little more at best.

[@natesturgess]

The fact that most young people in OECD countries will never own a home IMO is a massive contributing factor. Having kids are expensive and many people are struggling.

[@CONEHEADDK]

The men I've spoken with about having kids, they didn't wish for, all have said, it was the best. But they were also in relationships with the mothers.

[@whiterose6635]

She has no idea what she is talking about regarding access. She is speaking from no authority. Anyone who works in this area knows what she has presented here is at best one sided, and at worst outright lies

[@MasterFlores35]

So, I guess every man that has “chosen” to fly solo have ALL grown up the same way under the same circumstances and we all think the same, apparently ? Got it.

[@Ob65]

Yeah she’s deluded

[@dahliaherrod4301]

I would love to know what can men and women who were raised in broken homes due to heal those wounds-abandonment, abuse, etc- so they can make good partners and effective parents in the future. I appreciate the warning and the diagnosis, but let's talk about solutions now.

[@kingadatoma]

Do therapy.

[@v9b23j]

@dahliaherrod4301 Solutions seem to be behind Sadia's paid wall. Go to her website.

[@Jenda-ld8dj]

Don't get married and don't have kids. Problem solved.

[@dahliaherrod4301]

@@Jenda-ld8dj Aah so literally do nothing. Yeah that's how change happens. Are you one of those godforsaken nihilists?

[@raykarena4595]

I think I'm in love with Sadi, So insightful...

[@SirCharles2060]

7:50, yeah but not every lower 20s girl does Tik tok. Very few, as It may be are driven for success and share the same goals as a man in his mid 30s. Health, God, family, success, financial freedom. So while lot of women might be like that with social media or not on the right track, some are very much on track. In such cases sometimes they have fathers that they are not as emotionally attached to as they desire, but we driven to success because of them.

[@ayudakov]

Thank you!

[@Sapwolf]

Lesson: Stay away from single mothers.

[@honzo1078]

You mention the focus on the individual and its negative consequences. I think it's worthwhile to see who drives this individualism, and who benefits from it. The answer is the same in both cases: the wealthy elites. Atomizing the family structure destroys the strongest bulwark against predatory capitalism. Look at who promotes these narratives, who pays their salaries, and it's pretty clear that the destruction of the family (for us peons, the wealthy believe in the power of dynastic relationships), is a deliberate policy. Once you see this, there are dozens of nonsensical narratives and policies that suddenly make sense.

[@Xeranx]

Phrases like "predatory capitalism" makes me think "communist" or "socialist." Capitalism or free enterprise is not predatory. People can be predatory in how they try to market their wares, but it's ultimately an agreement on goods/services and pay. Mom and pop shops can't practice this at all or readily compared to corporations that are ultimately in existence because corporations are created through government. I'd rephrase that statement to: Atomizing the family structure destroys the strongest bulwark against _predation in our society however it manifests._

[@honzo1078]

@@Xeranx I don't disagree with your final statement, but it obscures that the reality of the current situation is that corporate finance capitalism IS predatory, and the biggest predator in the woods. Will killing the monster solve all problems? No. But it will create an environment in which other problems can be solved.

[@terraflow__bryanburdo4547]

Advice of the Supermodels 😂

[@DTreatz]

Supergrifters.

[@yeghakernest290]

If a Woman sells you out for money to your enemies, and does everything with your enemies to keep you away from your family, then she's dangerous. I really don't talk about my family issues on social media, but I'll leave it right here.

[@Peru-fc3bi]

My mother constantly talks ill of my late father (this has been going on more than a decade despite my siblings and I making it very clear we don't want to hear it). I understand what 'parental alienation' is. Is there a different term for this kind of behaviour when one of the parents is deceased?

[@tmcorey1]

Yes. Emotional abuse.

[@AndusDominae]

Ironically, pub culture is an antidote to a lot of the issues mentioned at the start. Certainly the kind of pub culture I primarily engage in... a few pints in each of four or five venues in eyeshot of one another, back and forth between a dozen friends, one friend you stick with all night, maybe you have a partner, maybe your drinking buddy does, everyone wants to be around each other and talk, there's no real clique so once you say hi you'll generally find the most antisocial looking person is happy to chat... Ok, so there's a few people absolutely wasted who need looking after, and maybe after your dozen pints you move onto the less reputable nightclub round the corner, but that's not for every week.

[@sarahrobertson634]

You've got a drinking problem, sir.

[@dianachavez2783]

Women who don't continue contact with their child's father can be for different reasons. I didn't continue contact because he was abusive. I walked away and didn't turn back for anything.

[@Jenda-ld8dj]

That makes you a terrible Mother.

[@starpool1]

100% correct on all subjects.

[@neemaaraka_Psychiatrist]

I like the conversation. Is Sadia an expert on the subject or is she speaking from her own experience?

[@IkeVictor]

spot on

[@jscullyandmulderx25]

Yes a child need's booth. Disagree with being anti child or people who choose not to be parents are selfish. No matter how angry the couple are mad at each other don't use or bring children into it. Don't say bad thing's about the ex thats both sexes and if you feel the husband is the better parent let him have the children and try and maintain a relationship. But one of society that's anti child is kid's can't safely walk or be outside with all the human predators. Going to school and feeling safe. The environment. The price of everything including housing plays a factor. Please tired of people who choose not to have kid's called selfish. There are people who have kid's because society and other's push on or why.

[@winstonsmith6204]

Reading this was hard. Punctuation and natural pauses would help.

[@letmethinkaboutit8982]

Agree that having children is nice. I used to visit my great aunt at the old age home and you can see the smiles on the elderly when their children/grandchildren visits. It was rare to see elderlies friends visiting them (not that it doesn’t happen, but less). Probably because the friends may be in old age homes themselves.

[@thetruther954]

A baby, a child is guaranteed to love you back. That’s what’s so great about it. I was never ready to have them. I don’t think I’m ready now.

[@De-tw7by]

Never make women the top priority in life. Make your health, career, hobbies, friends, relatives etc the top priority. Learn to live with or without women. Focus on yourself, work hard, make lot of money, have lot of fun. Divorce is a killer for man.

[@Winved]

"You can't compete with someone's childhood traumas". True words. You would be setting yourself up for disaster. Thank you.

[@tmcorey1]

Preach! Truer words were never spoken.

[@user-hu9xz6lw9x]

I'm a man I fear nothing..

[@deltalady91]

Having no father figure doesn't necessarily make women date older men. There's plenty other reasons why a woman would date somebody older. Sometimes its the opposite. A girl who was enmeshed with her father can also have a tendency to date older men..Humans are more nuanced, complicated and diverging from one another than she makes it seem.

[@DeanP111]

I just can’t get the last ep of her gushing out of my head “oh Chris that was so poetic, oh oh” 😂 now she’s in studio hmm Edit: “single mother you should be looking for…” I mean, hahaha no. Is this just a self advertisement? I knew she was sus

[@naviifra2374]

Shes married

[@Specialcot77]

I know being a Teenager Husband's and Father was Blessing evening being Divorced since 2001. It made Me become a better Father then my Dad's 10X.

[@ronmexico5908]

People have moved away from what's meaningful to them to what's meaningful to other's. They are trying to satisfy themselves by having other people telling them how happy they're allowed to be. It's a distrust of oneself and overly trusting the public

[@user-hu9xz6lw9x]

Hell is good.

[@wennybarny168]

BRILLIANT

[@user-es5gx2di7h]

Maturity ≠ how much responsibility you have assumed. Maturity is made up of other components: wisdom, temperance, prudence, empathy.

[@Soxfandan]

The biggest part of having children is the idea you will have to consistently put someone else ahead of yourself and your own feelings and desires and many people are just not capable of doing that.

[@EverthingHer]

Absolutely correct to an extent. Yes.

[@scaldon2]

Disaster happens when a girl grows up without her father. Even if she grows up seeing her father every other week per court thst child is still not the sake. Cause in that case the fatger is a party time father.I have dated women who grew up without there father and they all have issues.

[@chloebelle4923]

Being abandoned by a father is a lifelong wound.

[@scaldon2]

@@chloebelle4923 yes it is . Maybe the women should choose better mates.

[@dontstalkmedeltoro8816]

​​@@scaldon2maybe men shouldn't impregnate women they don't want to raise a kid with. Men Pursue women. Not the other way around. Plus... not all men abandon... some men die when they have kids. Like millions and millions.

[@TonyMoze]

Especially if the mom thinks and talks poorly of the father 😯

[@djackson4605]

@@dontstalkmedeltoro8816 you doing ok?

[@krisb-travel]

I think anti family/children is not really an “anti” issue but it’s a practicality issue, people who have kids are struggling, many people can’t buy homes big enough to raise a family comfortably. Schools are being problematic. A lot of people without kids are looking at people with kids struggling and thinking hmmmm nah. I’m obviously massively generalizing a portion of society. But any anti movement seems to be in that camp. If you have the means to buy a home with 3 bedrooms or more in a safe enough area with schools, and your with a stable partner, if you’re thinking of having kids go ahead! I couldn’t recommend it enough. But if you’re struggling to support yourself. Times are different. Hold off until your stable with a nice home

[@yukia.animation]

I can totally relate with this self sabotage behavior without kids. I'm 8 weeks pregnant now and having my fetus child has pulled the brake on my years of suicidal attempts -- it has redirected my self-consuming attention on the most negative. I'm a painter and struggled with the self destructive tendency that came with my depression and then bipolar disorder for many years. A year ago, I was still riding into the opposite traffic full speed when I was triggered. Now my motherly nature just demands safety and care for the fetus no matter what. Having a child literally saved my life lol

[@interruptingaging]

Parental alienation is real. Attachment theory. Husbands, after the divorce and sometimes even during the marriage, will manipulate the children to align with dad and not the mom. The underlying psychopathy are narcissism and borderline personality disorders. The experience is absolutely horrific for the alienated parent (in this case the mom) and the child who as an adult has an unhealthy with the alienating parent attachment. The likelihood of reconciliation as an adult is slim. I’d love to hear Dr Sadia expound on this subject matter.

[@Graham-zh4cp]

Brilliant she's so right about women who deny the kids there father

[@redmoondesignbeth9119]

I like Chris Rock's comedy where he said it is his mission to "Keep his girl off the Pole."

[@luisrizo8813]

Codi Vore

[@luisrizo8813]

Probably still hasn't called him in 7 years

[@mchandmusic]

Ask any kid who doesn’t have a dad, and he’s gonna say “I don’t have a dad”, not, “ my mom is single.” That’s the reason for the title.

[@helendag]

I grew up with no father and I always liked younger guys. First I was 19 he was 17 and last I am 40 and he is 27.

[@heatison11]

Men don't need to have a single thing "in common" to be attracted to the opposite sex, its the differences that attract us.

[@CountrysideandLiving]

I would not say that having children forces you to heal your traumas, but definitely, they make them resurface just because you are going through the same milestones with your children which can be quite triggering. And yes, you want to live longer to be there for them, but some parents are total alcoholic and couldn't care less about their health. Becoming a parents is not like a magic pill 💊. If only.

[@MLCommy]

Is it really an anti-children culture, or is everything expensive AF? The cost of everything is ridiculous, except, of course, the cost of your labor.

[@dahliaherrod4301]

Can it be a bit of both? I mean poor people have been successfully raising children for millennia now around the world. That's nothing new.

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

​@@dahliaherrod4301 Poor people raise children, most unsuccessfully

[@sdrawkcabUK]

@@wyleecoyotee4252yes. Most become poor. A Tony few break out. Just utterly selfish

[@dahliaherrod4301]

@@wyleecoyotee4252 Define unsuccessfully cause maybe we are talking about two different things. I think if your kids survive to adulthood with marketable skills I count that as a win. Anything else is lagniappe.

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

@@dahliaherrod4301 Most poor people's kids end up as their parents are. Poor.

[@michaelanthony4750]

People who have tons of children are never praised for the sacrifices that they make. Back in the day my Nonna had 12 kids and she would get a free meal every now and then or compliments on putting in the hard work. Now people look down on people with large families. It's a hard sacrifice to improve society by having kids. Not sure how people expect to be taken care of when they are old if no one has kids.

[@keithdoeskungfu]

As someone who is nearing 40 with still no children it's kind of disheartening to hear her talk about me as if I'm living some kind of Peter Pan life. I was married for 8 years and my ex-wife was vehemently against having children and was on birth control the entire time. Since she left me I've dated and been with several women and each and every one of them did not want children. Flash forward to me being on dating apps swiping away, I have noticed that literally 80-90% of dating profiles explicitly state that they do not want children or any more children. We also know that women are the gatekeepers of both sex AND childbearing, especially with things like the day after pill and abortion etc. so who is the one with Peter Pan syndrome??

[@ramsrock85]

Where is the full video? This looks recent.