Mona Lisa Smile: A sexist/weird diner class

Students at Wellesley College have a course dedicated to teaching them how to react if their future husband is offered a promotion. The sexist vision of this course does not please some students who provoke the professor.
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[@buffalo369]

In Singapore, there is an unspoken rule that we follow religiously :- Guest don't bring guests to party where they are not the hosts

[@justacutie5201]

Call me crazy but I think this applies almost everywhere.

[@Arichxc]

@@justacutie5201I don’t think you’re getting their meaning.

[@AlyssaTaylor9]

Yeah to suddenly invite other people to a private dinner at someone else's home 45 minuted beforehand would be incredibly rude here in the US too.

[@_IH_]

Same here, unthinkable.

[@elatafalando]

In Brazil you do, if combined with the host previously.

[@rootedinland6823]

"A few years from now your sole responsibility will be taking care of your husband and children." Then why bother getting a degree? Never understood this. Good movie though.

[@outinsider]

A degree looks nice for high society women to afford it, all the while leaving school and any other career pursuits for marriage. It says "I value a smart woman who reads books now that I've allowed her to read independently of me, but she should still darn my socks, make me an omelette every morning, and look away when the monotony I put her in leaves me sexually hungry for more than just the cookie cutter, but stay with me after I cheat."

[@afrozeahmed6515]

To catch husbands ofcourse😊

[@juliafloreshernandez6854]

I think it was about having options ?

[@scipioafricanus5871]

@@juliafloreshernandez6854 That's cute that you think that 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@juliafloreshernandez6854]

@@scipioafricanus5871 than explain it to me please 🙂

[@videohistory722]

Anyone else here catch on that Giselles "joke" was actually her tipping Betty off that her husband is cheating on her?

[@aysegulagrel6086]

omg i didnt notice before!! youre right

[@erinpufunt]

Obviously

[@heathercontois4501]

Foreshadowing

[@shahadmoeen1290]

I don’t think so because Giselle hadn’t seen the husband with the other woman yet .. also i think in this scene Betty was not even married yet .

[@user-ro2vb8by7u]

Yup

[@arieska.meurer]

I love this film, but I can't accept that the teacher doesn't give the answer. Every time I watch this scene I think "ok, but what should I do to solve this problem and help my husband?" Even though I'll never need it, I just want to know!

[@karenmonson9893]

This was a situation where the girls needed to come up with a solution on their own. I'm thinking after hearing the solution her students would have come up with she would have offered hers. Personally I think it's very inconvenient of the boss to do this. Back then women didn't have the choices they do now.

[@angelicasmodel]

​@karenmonson9893 that's how the class would go, yes. I just want to know the answer. If it were only one extra couple, I think the 'proper' answer was to give them your food and pretend you're on a diet. Another is to have made plenty extra just in case. But this is double the number of people. Could you just say 'sorry, I can't accommodate that at late notice,' and not have the boss think poorly of you?

[@cornishpasty4344]

The husband would have to be a big boy and figure it out on h is own.

[@karenmonson9893]

@@cornishpasty4344 That's the problem, he can't.🤔😒🤪🍽

[@karenmonson9893]

@JaxTherapist It's really inconsiderate to put a wife or partner in a situation like this. I'd be tempted to say "this is your mess, you figure it out" and leave.🤔😒😏🤨🍽👋

[@crisvanfan]

who is this boss to be inviting other people to your house!!?!?!

[@EriksRose1]

Technically he requested it the husband agreed

[@rogueryder3285]

Ok?

[@rafaelortega854]

Lovely (sarcasmo) so she has to make triple meal just because an assboss is testing u and ur housband? I insist poor women

[@rafaelortega854]

@@EriksRose1 does he had a choice?

[@destinywhite2063]

The upper echelon of companies tend to do that. They’ll ask the husbands, to get a reaction out of him. Esp if promotion time is coming up and 2-3 including the husband is up for that promotion. That’s a whole other subset that many will never have to worry about. It’s a whole other ball game. When you reach that upper echelon, you’re expected to know how to handle yourself and what is expected of you.

[@bumblebee7384]

“A few years from now your sole responsibility will be taking care of your husband and your children” I asked my husband on this a couple of years ago, and he agreed, in a way. “In this marriage you need take care of me, that’s a given. But for you to do that, I need to take care of you too. I need to earn your care. We’re in this marriage together, we’re responsible for that decision together.” And that’s what we’re teaching our son, that you need to earn your partner’s care.

[@kristinesharp6286]

Some jobs like the ones their husbands given the wealth transfer plans of their parents would need a person running things so they can bill extra hours, etc.. But plenty of graduates of this school managed careers. They were there to take the class as an elective. Cause they needed it or just wanted something easier than organic chemistry.

[@arnethaearl8468]

Your husband is so right❤

[@gnommg]

I don't want to be rude but the transactionality disturbs me. Shouldn't reciprical care be a gift not something you have to earn. Maybe its just splitting hairs but love means giving all you can. Sometimes one can give more care than the other during and after pregnancy or bouts of fatigue in stressful career phases. As long as it evens out overall care can't be tit for tat.

[@bumblebee7384]

@@gnommg 1. You’re ok, not rude. 2. You’re either young or very naive. In a marriage or codependence, if BOTH of you have the same personality of giving care as something unconditional, good for you. But majority adult couples don’t see marriage or codependency that way. You may think love covers it all but reality is, you do need to get a reward back for giving your all. Because if you give your all and your partner just doesn’t, it can tire you out in the long run, you’ll be unfulfilled, you’ll burn out. And it never evens if there is no understanding in what you call a “transactionality”. If my husband doesn’t understand that he needs to earn my care and if I don’t understand that I need to earn his care, then we both won’t get even in this relationship.

[@t.r.s.5129]

​@@gnommg this is a mindset that has been promoted through lots of romcoms and which ultimately leaves the woman at a disadvantage. We are able to love unconditionally, and we do, most of the time. If we aren't aware or don't enforce the transactional part of the relationship, which always exists in any relationship, it can lead to abuse of trust, taking advantage and in some cases real situations of real emotional, psychological, financial or physical abuse. Every relationship has a part which is transactional, and the man isn't excempt of his own contribution to you, the relationship and/or the household and/or the job. And this transactionality will evolve with the years: it will look different when you're a couple, when there's a kid, when there are two or three, or pets. When it's been a month, six, a year or ten. It's a contract of commitment that needs to be constantly revised and actualized to better suit the needs of both. Love is love but often love isn't enough for a relationship to be functional and healthy. There needs to be communication, boundaries and transparency.

[@melodyclark1944]

What happens if you want to promote someone, but he isn't married? Does he have to host his own dinner party?

[@2jcward]

@valap_ 👏 Very true. My father talked about that. His friends suggest he wear a wedding ring on interviews because it showed you were settle and had responsibilities. 😕 After one interview, he got the job.

[@lauralarrabee7870]

You wouldn’t have a promotion to think about. In those days promotions only went to men who were married and presented a certain image for the company.

[@carlycrays2831]

Remember Pretty Woman? Vivian was hired essentially for that purpose. She was essentially there to make Edward more approachable and social.

[@ssgg23]

Oh look prince charles lol

[@tonipope3164]

Hire it out...lol

[@sherb9841]

Tell your husband to start the evening off with drinks. He needs to entertain everyone while you make more of the main dish, depending on what it is. Could also transform the main dish to stretch further.

[@carlycrays2831]

Drinking on an empty stomach in mixed company is dangerous. In this scenario, there should be an appetizer, so a smart move would be to serve that along with the drinks. Also, always keep cheese and crackers on hand

[@julkap4190]

I don't thing the "inviting your boss to influence his decision about promotion" would be allowed nowadays. It could be judged as a form of bribery. (I work for multinational corporation and we have trainings about this every year. And I noticed that even on other places like hospitals they don't accept gifts anymore. At least not young workers, they want to follow new rules.).

[@Ojo10]

As with being a stay at home wife, I think this was something more common among the upper classes. It wouldn't be seen as too strange because you wouldn't be too far in means of wealth from your boss. The reason why these people would be competing so viciously to get the edge would be for that very reason, so they would have to win the boss over with charisma, and how well they put on American dream appearances. Because in America prosperty would have been an indicator of moral upstanding. These two things have always been conflated in American culture.

[@nat_blueberry7011]

But wait a minute, she didn’t explain WHAT IS IT WE DO IN THIS SITUATION !!!! 😂😂😂😂

[@carlycrays2831]

I think the idea is to try and think on your feet and use what you have to save the night

[@bananamanchester4156]

Call Uber Eats 😅

[@susanmackendrick5455]

Call the caterers.😅

[@nat_blueberry7011]

@@susanmackendrick5455 no…….. which caterer will answer in such a short notice period ? How about coming up with a creative idea like….. um….. minimalistic cuisine theme ( so that you can serve smaller portions and nobody could say anything about it, cause it’s the theme !

[@imitationporcelain]

Pb and j Sandwiches for.everyone take it or leave It or the husband can take them to a restaurant 😅 That Will be my options

[@lowkeyproductions6681]

Someone who has never seen the movie: I don’t understand why people don’t respect motherhood and being a wife!!! It’s a beautiful choice. Yeah. When it’s actually a CHOICE. Also did you miss the part of the clip where the teacher said that their degrees won’t matter in a few years and the only thing that matters will be the grade their husband gives them? 😬

[@kiwimusume]

“When it’s actually a CHOICE.” THANK YOU.

[@philippatill9727]

You should see the film. Its really good. It's about smart girls not being reduced to being just a wife and mother but also some of them choosing to anyway. Because that's their choice. It's really great and has sadly been lost.

[@lauralarrabee7870]

I think what the professor wanted was for women not lose themselves when getting married. A woman gives up so much and if her husband were to pass on and leave her widowed in those days it was very difficult for a woman to make an income to support a household in her own. In a lot of ways Katherine wanted women to provide for themselves but had a roughshod way of doing it because it was perceived disrespect towards their traditions. Being a mother is a wonderful choice sure wish we could go back to that.

[@lauralarrabee7870]

What matters most the the grade your children present to the world. Producing and raising well adjusted healthy happy children is the best grade one can boast about.

[@AR-cf9di]

Yes. Women should have a choice. And exposed to as many choices as possible.

[@hollyb6885]

Marcia Gay Hardin was so good in this sad, sad role.

[@quinncamarena]

The Boss inviting Extra people to your house for dinner, makes me think of Darrin's Boss Larry Tate on Bewitched. 🤣😅 The nerve.

[@fictionlover695]

Dinner Parties....damn as an introvert with social anxeity, all that social preparation and acting as a hostess might accidentally make me faint in front of his boss or some any other mistake...and my husband would divorce me 13 times over until the filing was successful How did these ladies do all that...any social stuff done by people is impressive to me...there's a lot of thought and politics going on just by a mere dinner party

[@pearl_lisha896]

Why did they cut to Julia Robert’s? I wanna know how the wife is going to save the dinner party she maliciously planned!

[@agenttheater5]

What I want to know is whether it was a case of the husband just being informed of the four extra guests to the dinner party and rushing towards the phone to tell his wife and to apologise because he knows how much planning she's put into this, or if it's a case of him being told about this before, calling his wife to make sure everything's ready and casually mentioning 'oh by the way, Smith, Jones and their wives have all been invited, boss insisted, I told his it was ok, hope you don't mind' (doesn't make much difference if he just found out or knew about this for hours if that's his attitude). Which is more likely?

[@angelaustin6545]

The first one is a bit more sympathetic because the husband has been blindsided too - and if he really loves his wife - ask what he can do to make things easier on her. The second one is him being a straight up, plain asshole.

[@erinpufunt]

Maggie is so amazing in this movie!!!

[@rafaelortega854]

poor women

[@sharonjensen3016]

You can't help the times you live in. As Billy Joel once said: "The good old days weren't always good."

[@rafaelortega854]

​@@sharonjensen3016its true 😮

[@fictionlover695]

​@@sharonjensen3016 I an amazed at them and at the people coming up with solutions to all these dilemma I would just be Panicking lmao Or make extras beforehand... Maybe buy something from the restaurants

[@kuthuruamritha625]

What a movie.................such stellar movies need to be rewatched just merely to feel secure and safe, how much ever unsafe and regressive-minded the society has become or gonna become, because ultimately what matters is attracting the right people in your life which will happen when you stay positive, vibrating in right frequencies...........gals and GUYS.........JUST WATCH THIS MOVIE TO UNDERSTAND A WOMAN'S HONEST INTENT AND LOVELY HEART.

[@agenttheater5]

0:41 Can a boss actually do that? Either request the host of a dinner party to invite others or to just invite others on their own?

[@wickedwitchoftheeast88]

Apparently they did back then I would be majorly pissed off if someone I was hosting dinner for did that I'd cancel the whole thing

[@lizanna6390]

It's very rude

[@julkap4190]

I don't think that the whole dinner would be a thing nowadays. I work for multinational corporation and based on what I got from our regular trainings this could be judged as a form of bribery. Inviting your boss for free food (which costs money) to influence his decision? Not good, it would definitely leave at least a bad image on him. Also I don't know how it is in other countries but here in Slovakia it's very similar in other workplaces as well. My mom is used to era when giving a gift (like a chocolate) to nurses was almost expected. Nowadays they don't want to accept gifts, it's difficult for me to explain this to my mom. I wonder if it's everywhere like this these days.

[@carlycrays2831]

​@@julkap4190In America it really depends on the context. Nowadays if people do something like this, it's meeting for lunch at a restaurant or inviting the whole team over for a casual dinner.

[@mariposa9506]

Anyone can do that. It's called bad manners. Sometimes someone who has power over your future has bad manners. You can call them on it, but they still have power over your future so...

[@orlandobabe]

I thank God I did not attend this so called class.

[@CloudDancer-001]

Dude......the tension between them at 1:30😮 Was I the only one who got the impression that Giselle was slightly into Betty?

[@juliandelmar7900]

Husband can find a hospital room, from hilton man

[@sharonjensen3016]

He'd end up in a hospital, or worse, if he indulged in hanky-panky with the boss's wife. It'd serve him right too.

[@juliandelmar7900]

@@sharonjensen3016 thats true 🤔

[@katelovelock7528]

Am I the only one who wants to know what the solution to the dinner party problem is?

[@loonylovesgood]

In this day and age, I’d be scrapping the home cooked meal and ordering out.

[@2EKgn16]

​@@loonylovesgoodSame here, or go to a restaurant.

[@scipioafricanus5871]

The solution is immediate divorce

[@carlycrays2831]

Have cheese, crackers, and fruit on hand for your husband to pass out with pre-dinner drinks. There is a good chance entre in question is a roast or bird of some sort, so the answer here is to find ways to expand the side dishes. There is a good chance that you have some ice cream in the freezer, so remember to let your guests know to save room for dessert.

[@fictionlover695]

Me too! There were a lot of solutions suggested by others in the above comments Cook extra portions...huge portions because scarcity is worse than redundancy The rest of the food can be distributed somewhere, an orphanage maybe Have some appetisers ready. So while they feed on that, you can cook some more main dishes Call a restaurant, and order ready made stuff, then make slight changes to make it seem Like its yours Minimalist aesthetic. Basically go resturant style dinners lol small amount of food and a lot of decor

[@user-sv7fd6es6s]

I am glad that my parents said no parenting classes for me, it is waste of time.

[@Mildredpotka]

SPINSTER ALERT.

[@user-sv7fd6es6s]

@@Mildredpotka shut up

[@Bluesmoke4200]

Did anyone else find it odd that they picked the old maid/spinster woman to teach home making?

[@beautifullyflawed6723]

Back then, that would be her only choice. She didn’t get married, so she wasn’t expected and society to do anything else, except for teach or be a secretary. You can tell she comes from wealth, so fortunately, she had a home that, she was able to turn in to boarding for extra money. That’s the whole point of the movie. If you end up, not finding a husband, society was cruel to you.

[@Bluesmoke4200]

@@beautifullyflawed6723 Yes, I understand why she was in the position she was in but why did the school think she was qualified to teach home making when she had never been married or... made a home?

[@pamperedgurl]

because a married woman wouldn't have time to each a class. Notice this course was in the evening. @@Bluesmoke4200

[@kerrytakashi12]

@@Bluesmoke4200All women of that upper class would have had training in making a home and maneuvering in society. She did make a home. Where was she holding her classes? She was unmarried because she had a disappointment and could not recover from it. But the film tries to turn everything about her into a tragedy. She has a job she enjoys. She inherited and cares for her family home. She is teaching a class that young women of the time would find useful. Way back when, my high school still had home economic classes to offer students. I wish I would have taken it. They did fun things like bake cookies, plan meals, discuss basic housekeeping and just strategies to deal with day to day living. I would have found it useful and yes, enjoyed it. But that kind of stuff wasn't in then and it was demonized.

[@justmechilling...]

If I remember rightly boyfriend died in the war or car crash...hmmm I will have re watch it..

[@lauralarrabee7870]

I knew there was something about the actor who plays Bill Dunbar’s speech. Then I saw the Crown and just figured out that it’s the same actor only that he was using an American accent.

[@muiresuilgorm3452]

'McNulty' from ' The Wire'. Dominic West a British actor, who went to Eton.

[@lauralarrabee7870]

@@muiresuilgorm3452 I could tell even back 2005 he was struggling with his speech and then realized he was a Brit speaking with an American accent in his scene where he meets Julia Roberts’ character for the first time.

[@phastinemoon]

"We all had to" Oof -- the biggest sign of a coward. The "I had to, so you should too" mindset.

[@sadee1287]

For everyone struggling to understand the scenario outlined here: firstly, it was the 50s, and upper echelon wealthy young women were expected to become wives, regardless of their education. That education was predominately to elevate them to a higher level of educated and wealthy potential husband as opposed to merely facilitating their own knowledge and outlook. Second: "Corporate wives" was an actual thing. A wife was supposed to be pivotal to her husband's success in the business, and that meant dressing and being polished and poised, knowing all the proper etiquette for hosting her husband's boss, colleagues, and their wives. Think "finishing schools" in Switzerland. And yes, if she didn't rise to the occasion, her husband's career could suffer. He might even be passed over for promotion. They could be rebuffed by their social circle. The answer to the question as to how a wife would handle this scenario: she would prepare for extra guests at all times. Leftovers, if any, could be frozen. Was all this sexist in the extreme? Absolutely. But it was the era, expected and accepted.

[@da96103]

0:55 Teacher, Gisele made the joke but why you pushed the poor student to the floor? Poor smiley student.

[@esperansabornstein3722]

The ASMR is strong in this one

[@Ishamiller2005]

0:14-0:20- 0:50 reminds me of wandavison

[@Irene-bu9wu]

Juliet Stevenson has Christine Lahti vibes, hasn't she??

[@barbaraebner5889]

Great school but wow what a waste of education during that time.

[@juliandelmar7900]

He doesnt

[@ingridgallagher1029]

Her dates gotta point like, calm down you're not Jesus.

[@TheWolfHowling]

Anybody else find it odd that the words that got bleeped were screw & damn?

[@uofc57]

Did they actually have classes like this at Wellesley?

[@cd3694]

No. This movie got slammed by Wellesley graduates from that time period. They said no such class existed and they resented the fact that this movie trivialized their education.

[@juliandelmar7900]

Bajo?

[@arashvernus8090]

HI MJ

[@michaelsabanal1980]

Idol scribe

[@jacobzaranyika9334]

Lol...

[@riggedrugs6224]

What is this ? Asmr ?

[@meemhas]

Funnyyy

[@abigailmoreno777]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@michaelsabanal1980]

Ganda movie

[@evrimeroglu9989]

İts a wonderful idea , there should be class in college about marrige for man and woman, and it should be classes aboute parenting to ,

[@agirlwithdreams15]

eww, no. Home economics are good classes, but not for "marriage" purposes. They should be gender neutral and just based on being able to perform domestic tasks

[@imitationporcelain]

Home economics but not only for girls but for boys so everyone can learn how to funtion when living on their own , how to clean , cook, mend and wash clothes and also basic home and car repairs too.

[@ciannacoleman5125]

I don’t like the title, while this scene may look sexist to modern viewers it was an important thing to know back in the day and historically household management (including hosting dinner parties) has long been the female domain, no matter the modern push to break gender roles. And even if you object to the the specific presentation, theoretical scenarios like this are great problem solving puzzles even if the occasion never actually happens.

[@agirlwithdreams15]

It's sexist because it was geared towards only women to encourage them to stay home and be financially vulnerable.

[@Nat_778]

Did you miss the part where she said in a few years their degrees won't matter? The entire point of the film is that these young women weren't being given a choice. They were told outright that their only value was as a wife and mother and that was the only choice they had. The reason it looks sexist to the modern viewer is because it is.

[@kristinesharp6286]

It’s not a sexist weird class. 11 million turn on hgtv monthly and more turn on the food channels. Some of this could be covered in culinary. Other parts in a business class. Among the 1% etiquette still a thing.

[@down-to-earth-mystery-school]

it is sexist if men aren't also required to take the class and know how to cook, clean and run a household

[@kristinesharp6286]

@@down-to-earth-mystery-school it was not a required class. It was an elective.

[@agirlwithdreams15]

@@kristinesharp6286so what? Just because it wasn't forced doesn't mean it wasn't sexist

[@kristinesharp6286]

@@agirlwithdreams15 the commenter said it was sexist cause the women were required to take it and it was not required. The world was sexist against the men and husbands as well. The teacher did not go off to Europe to stop the Nazi’s 10 years before, her former finance did that. The men are expected to support a family and build wealth and produce a large family and send 4 kids to Ivy League schools. The entire notion that a woman at this Ivy League all girls school is oppressed is like saying Sally Ride was oppressed. They are top 1%. In 1950 7.3% of men finished 4 years of college. In 1950 5.2% of women finished 4 years old college.

[@kerrytakashi12]

Why is this sexist? She is addressing the situation as a husband and wife in partnership together for the family well being.

[@lize-mtz753]

Right, he's up for a promotion and needs to impress his boss. It benefits her, too, when they can afford a better life.

[@taraz6786]

Because it completely disqualifies women’s dreams, ambition and really anything different. Are men getting these classes, because even if it’s not to do with jobs, they should also be getting taught how to be good spouses and parents too. Why are only women expected to fulfill all the roles, emotional, physical and sexual and men can just get jobs and that’s enough. All of a sudden, it doesn’t matter the level of connection that they have with their partner/children or how well they treat them.🤔

[@kerrytakashi12]

@@taraz6786 Being a mother and homemaker is a job. Many would say the most important job because a woman can create a beautiful life for her family. Why is this making you resentful or angry? It shouldn't. That is the propaganda getting a hold of you. The class in this scene is valid and it isn't insulting. But it is portrayed that way to a get rise out of people.

[@taraz6786]

@@kerrytakashi12 Society rarely classes domestic labour as a job and men are rarely grateful for it. Not to mention being financially dependent on men is a situation ripe for abuse, loneliness and misery. I have grown up around it and seen it, so acting like this is a fairytale is gross negligence on your part and there is no propaganda, there is just the cold, hard truth. This way of life traps women in bad relationships/marriages with no escape. 🤷‍♀️

[@jessicameagan4198]

It's not. It's just modern day feminism twisting the situation because it's not what they agree with.

[@jessicameagan4198]

There is nothing sexist about this. Its always the right to choose until somebody chooses to live differently.

[@outinsider]

Look, until I see a woman make a meal and set a table with her vagina, I think anyone can set the table, make dinner, and adapt based on their partner's needs.

[@kiwimusume]

I don’t think you understand the way society functioned in the 1950s.

[@jessicameagan4198]

@@kiwimusume clearly you're the expert and refer to my original comment ✌️

[@alisonf6478]

Sigh.

[@jessicameagan4198]

@@alisonf6478 This is the internet. Cringe as fuck. We don't "sigh" on the internet.