Monkey Dust - Mental Chess

Monkey Dust - Series 2 - Episode 6 - Mental Chess Sketch

[@thaggartxsoo]

1:29, this show was doing member berries long before South Park.

[@ivandobsky4103]

brilliant ... monkey dust, south park, the 'member berries and the racist toms all of it GOLD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and yes Brandon, they are not identical but they are pretty fucking close i'm with thaggartxsoo on this one

[@Karneallota]

This is all too familiar...

[@neilramjee]

Every woman I’ve ever been out with, right there. The game is rigged from the start.

[@lisetteeliseparis7070]

😂😂😂😉😈

[@abiolusa2972]

'rigged from the start" lmaoo

[@AutomaticDuck300]

You can't win. Hence the joke: If a man speaks in the forest and nobody is around to hear him, is he still wrong?

[@petegabler9528]

A Grandmasterpiece

[@lisetteeliseparis7070]

🤣🤣

[@DoomKid]

we've all felt this way before!!!! you just cant win sometimes

[@RobGMun]

This, in a nutshell, was my last marriage. Now i'm much firmer with women and don't put up with this BS, as soon as they act up they get kicked to the kerb. Now i'm in a amazing 3 year relationship with the sweetest girl i could ever dream of. Don't put up with these kind of women guys! Don't give into their madness and you'll find the right girl!

[@RobGMun]

Well! 9 Years later she's now my wonderful wife, married for 3 years and she's just as sweet as ever. Happy endings are possible, just make sure you pick the right girl!

[@_Wombat]

@@RobGMun this is the best news I've had all year

[@eldoh3388]

@@RobGMun good on you mate! Both on the marriage and the update!

[@alextaylor5228]

If you allow someone to behave like this to you. You deserve everything you get.

[@oldskoolloner]

During Chess moves music is manipulated living michael andrews

[@tburnsmarsh3158]

Yes just noticed this when watching Donnie Darko yesterday...it also uses Middlesex Times...I wonder how that came to be

[@PsychicWars]

Who in the shit opens with f3?

[@georgeritchie9409]

+4tehhorde someone who is planning to lose in a controlled way/

[@tricky1992000]

A desperate man.

[@patavinity1262]

I'm assuming it's a deliberate joke as it's generally considered the worst opening move.

[@WankersCramp69]

Being single ain't so bad.

[@inflatableboobies9603]

how is this spam?

[@Tenskwatawa4U]

+WankersCramp69 No lie!

[@lisetteeliseparis7070]

🤣🤣 You have a point.

[@SamuelBlack84]

Being single is horribly awful

[@Hertog_von_Berkshire]

More than a grain of truth in this.

[@conartist1991]

Mental chess- the only way to win is to not play.

[@johnnydiggle]

This is one of the most inspirational cartoons I've ever seen. It just proves one thing, NEVER GET MARRIED!!

[@lisetteeliseparis7070]

🤣🤣

[@tanvinu248]

And another, your being with women just because the world had been

[@SamuelBlack84]

Never get married and live a miserable, lonely and pointless life. Yeah..

[@popdop0074]

@@SamuelBlack84 Marriage isn't required for partnership you know...

[@SamuelBlack84]

@@popdop0074 Well, I have neither

[@MrTitmeister]

lol there isnt any winning moves lol

[@MrThisucks]

if this was my wife it would be our last meal!

[@Romanticoutlaw]

why do people put up with this in relationships. First sign of the other playing mental chess with me and I'm out

[@majormassenspektrometer]

Because of pussy meat.

[@garygluebag4825]

Plenty more fish in the sea when the caviar dries up and the menapause start, wierd shit happens

[@SamuelBlack84]

@@garygluebag4825 What happens if women despise you?

[@garygluebag4825]

@@SamuelBlack84 I'm not saying because there remains will never be descovered.

[@SamuelBlack84]

@@garygluebag4825 That makes no sense

[@alocalcrimegit]

The only winning move is not to play.

[@WoWrofllolz]

Ahaha the last line was brilliant.

[@Broadercasting]

That, in a nutshell, is Transactional Analysis!

[@PsychicWars]

2:59 Actually, the Touch-Move rule specifies that once you touch an opponent's piece with yours in hand, you are required to make the capture.

[@harrygoodwin1795]

Donnie Darko anyone?

[@ikweetmeer]

Yep

[@lisetteeliseparis7070]

Love it! Thanx for the upload, (and thank you Monkey Dust). Sometimes I feel sorry for you fellas because we chicks be crazy sometimes, sigh.

[@albertlingamstone7624]

Sometimes..?

[@SamuelBlack84]

I have limited experience with women, mainly because they rarely if ever even talk to me. They've always been cold as death with me specifically

[@LABCHiMP]

Every gf I've ever had, you can't win. Brilliant writing by these guys.

[@nixthelatter]

This shit is so fucking relatable.

[@Tenchcnet]

no happy ending possible

[@Rereversed]

This video made me depressed.

[@ZemplinTemplar]

Now that's what I call "thinking 5 moves ahead". ;-))

[@gindphace]

I took me 10+ years of searching to find a woman not like this. I married her and we had children.

[@albertlingamstone7624]

Women: you do this.

[@victordavis8344]

Personally I like women with a bit of spark to them, not a doormat.

[@BrosephTincans]

What's the music playing over the chess pieces? Sounds awfully familyar

[@Klamath2046]

Who the fuck opens a chess game with g2?

[@edmorrison5645]

g3 is a pretty popular modern opening, aiming to fianchetto the light-squared bishop.

[@shawn576]

That woman has borderline personality. He should run.

[@bpd1111]

Check out the unmarried dude^

[@JaidenJimenez86]

Anyone else get the Donnie Darko reference?

[@henrytse]

lol they're only on the opening moves. imagine what the rest of his life is like.. lol

[@Lazyguy22]

So he knows that the trip to Paris upsets her because they're not having as much sex as they were, but when he goes back in time, rather than saying something romantic or bringing up the possibility of doing it again, he just says he doesn't remember what is quite obviously a fond memory for her? Pillock!

[@CumstainedBedsheets]

So basically women get their jollies out of creating no-win situations.

[@Tome4kkkk]

Yup. Walking, natural-born SCATMIN (scatter mine) deployment systems.

[@Psyolopher]

I remember it was in Donnie Darko.

[@curiositypiqued6573]

Its like the "mental chess" is rigged......so never play with a narcissist...check mate!!!

[@JFJD]

Steady on, lad - you’ve been doing this dance for five-on years now, so none of what’s to come should even surprise you anymore. First off, quit thinking of it like a fucking game that you _have_ to win or it’s all gone to shite; sometimes it’s like having to maneuver through a thorny hedge - it’s not going to be easy, and you’re going to end up on the other side sliced all to hell and wondering why you put up with it anymore. The only answer to that is what made you start the whole bloody thing in the first place - the one sitting across from you bawling her eyes out over a reason that on any other day in any other circumstance would seem like complete rubbish to her - but right here and now, it’s the entire reason her world’s come apart. Now - here’s all what you do: give the little kitten a big old kiss on the lips - one big enough and with enough of you in it to make her forget that anything else matters. Then, you pick up the check, put your arm ‘round her, and walk out the door like they do in the movies. Now go get ‘em.

[@sarahjrandomnumbers]

wow, you're deranged.

[@Spacecookie-]

You'll always loose if you consider it a game.

[@flankspeed]

@wasd12344: "She's got a headache."

[@skittleboy15]

Pawns don't move 3 spaces forward initially, nor do they take pieces directly in front of them.

[@bigbowlowrong4694]

I think the whole point is that he’s shit at chess😆

[@h3ckNo]

@@bigbowlowrong4694 were they talking about h1-h5 or have I missed something? Because if they did, it wasn't a pawn, it was a rook

[@tshelby5212]

I'd be like Jesús fucking christ what do you want from me

[@planetaryy9361]

DONNIE DARKO OST YES PLEASE.

[@AccoSpoot]

I feel at some point he probably would have had a stroke, dangerous game; is mental chess.

[@funkybroom]

..and that's when you know, you have to dump her! :D :p

[@CollinsHD]

this is why you never get into mind based emotional relationships. heart is key when you can identify a true partner.

[@SamuelBlack84]

For me, this is what it's like for me to simply talk to another human being. They're such an incredibly complex species

[@CollinsHD]

@@SamuelBlack84 this is the complete breakdown of neurotypical interactions its awful, I understand

[@SamuelBlack84]

@@CollinsHD Considering humans are a social species it's rather ironic. My brain is actually wired differently to everyone else's. I used to think it was a mistake, these days I think I'm the upgraded version

[@Kacs_ky]

Man, I love Death Note

[@dieselboy87]

my girlfriend is exactly like this sometimes. i think women get like this during their time of the month. they get angry/emotional about everything and are just looking for any excuse to vent it, and it usually ends up at their boyfriends expense.

[@eldtehwin]

@ProfessorMoriartyx asshurt over a joke only helps make the joke so much more real

[@OfLanceTheLonginus]

The fact this is one of the top comment only further justifies the horrid community this site holds in its depths.

[@foxyfluffs4551]

Pfft women… this is why I'm glad I'm gay :)

[@l1z4rd4]

I'm... jealous? Oh shit, I've got some life choices to reevaluate...

[@PigeonsInstinct]

the pussy makes up for it

[@l1z4rd4]

PigeonsInstinct The sad part is it kind of does.

[@DraciaNightcat]

We're not all like that :P

[@StaffSergeantMemes]

Foxy Fluffs Too right mate.

[@user-qr7se1cs2y]

00:10 Птаха - По району

[@ZennXPaladin]

believe me, it'll happen to you as well

[@the98themperoroftheholybri33]

Women like this are testing you, be the one to lead the conversation, if she begins playing emotional games don't play along

[@SamC434]

@mskills420 A friend of mine was streaming it the other day, can't remember where from though. I'll let you know if I find it :)

[@wormswithteeth]

DAMED IF YOU DO AND DAMMED IF YOU DONT.

[@platinumdynamite]

God help me if I end up with someone like that. What a bully.

[@macaroniwithcheese3133]

Hunting by Daybreak on maddening be like

[@brandtus]

checkmate

[@randmnumber]

the winning move is divorce

[@busteruk77]

@FacePlant92 i agree with that m8 defo

[@paradehorsegirl]

I shake my head. That is one self centered, self conscious woman. I feel like slapping someone.

[@Lecrie]

CoD MW2 this: Your girlfriend is a noobtuber/hacker. Best way to avoid getting annoyed by it is to stop playing with her altogether. ~ You don't need to be annoyed by that drama queen that's been watching too many soaps, you can just leave her there. There's a plenty of fish in the sea, they say.

[@MensRifleAssociation]

@rosskay, hey hey, it's rosskay.

[@Only1Harold]

He just lost THE GAME.

[@Cd5ssmffan]

Fuck you

[@D4veJap4n]

Yyyyyyyep

[@williamthebritoriginal]

Nah, I prefer jamesaellis's solution. A lot less hassle involved.

[@wormswithteeth]

Missing M there. ;)

[@joewas]

@ProfessorMoriartyx err all women r like this ever had a girlfriend ?

[@JamesCLetts]

haha classic.

[@zhabakrek]

my ex-boyfriend is exactly like this woman. it's not just about women. sorry, boys ;) speaking of being gay - yeah, i always kinda suspected that one reason some men are gay is that they are just deeply misogynist, now you've just clarified it

[@JamEZmusic86]

@petacavanagh Ohh, stupid me, lol. I don't know man:D

[@skittleboy15]

@SaintLouisX wtf...I think they changed the vid since I watched it last. me = dum

[@JamEZmusic86]

@petacavanagh mad world??? fuckin crazy cuz I just did a guitar cover of it a couple hours ago then you go and comment saying that?!?

[@aidanivesdavis]

You have no idea how much I wish I were in your shoes -_-

[@vollsticks]

Oranges

[@donkiddick08]

it's the awfully awful 'lady in red' by chris de burgh.

[@lngrd92]

Я с женой так разговариваю

[@pranav216]

looolololollllool lol

[@purplefing]

Think one of the animators died

[@mg_claymore8611]

Aidan Bennett the creator

[@bigwitt187]

So, this is the first Monkeydust video I've seen. Quick question, is this actually supposed to be funny, or...

[@chroniccynic8459]

As far as I can tell...kinda... some is funny and some is meant to make you feel bad. (I only started watching them today)

[@OfLanceTheLonginus]

Look up Black Humor

[@splo1nger909]

Its the darkest of humour.

[@Cd5ssmffan]

You're am*rican, I don't even know why you are watching this?

[@Neves7561]

lol

[@Hispanic_at_the_disco717]

I think you get it worse.

[@Xxbeast3125xX]

I live in the US and i hate it... ._.

[@420Harlequin]

@DerAngriff how would he? know,he's a women :D

[@ichigo199]

How the fuck do you win this game?

[@Jcdoyel]

The best metaphor about the enigma of women in a nut shell.

[@stupit467]

God, she's really good in chess Or he is just bad

[@drakota28]

is that girl guy ?

[@nuclearneo577]

Why the hell was the restaurant serving the racist tomatoes?

[@user-pn3fb9eo5i]

Ha, ha ha, he can't win.

[@CycolacFan]

Ummm... No.

[@RubberJunk1]

Nope

[@flankspeed]

Oh god, somebody has cartoon-animated my ex-girlfriend. It even looks like her....

[@TheAmazeingAnarchist]

ITS ALLWAYS THAT!!! you never win. why do you think its bad luck to play poker with a woman at the table

[@136Jstar]

I think I’m only like this if I have PMS.

[@Dunaiii]

I am a woman and I find it funny.

[@Dunaiii]

I am a woman and I find it funny. :)