Mortician Reveals the Most Confronting Things She's Seen | Minutes With

In this episode of Minutes With, we sat down with mortician, Debbie Holmwood. Debbie discusses a typical day in the life of a mortician, reveals the typical requests she receives from families ahead of funerals, and opens up on why she loves the career she has chosen.
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[@MrG77]

When she said I speak to them and tell them I am going to do your hair and nails. I found that quite emotional. These people are angels.🙏

[@carynmartin6053]

As a hairdresser I had the privilege of doing the hair and makeup of a deceased older woman once with my boss, and it felt like an honor!❤

[@Brodiesmh]

Quite creepy

[@Bonnie_Lou]

My aunt does this too, she said it makes her feel better talking to them, it’s very intimate and she feels better talking every thing out loud

[@Beesting4789]

Not at all creepy. We are all going to die and to be treated with respect and dignity during that time is so amazing as I’m sure, unfortunately this compassion isn’t gifted to each of us at all. From what I know it’s just a business to make money. The deceased are just a product. A lady at work recently had her Dad pass, when she spoke her face lit up as the doctor kept talking to him even though he’d passed. It’s respectful and my colleague was so grateful of those memories. Let’s all try to judge less and be kind 🌻🌸🌻

[@Oyimtalkingtoyou]

My father died this yr and the way the funeral directors spoke about him “being in our care now” was so gentle and comforting. I have nothing but awe and respect for these people. Amazing. He told me “don’t worry, he’s just around the corner, we’ll keep him here until it’s time for the funeral” as if they were taking care of my living breathing dad. It changed everything for me.

[@wardybasher]

This lady oozes care and empathy and she speaks with compassion and kindness that must bring comfort to the family’s that have lost love ones. Remarkable lady.

[@user-pe3hp3qn7c]

She is so kind!

[@user-pk2rg6yb5u]

Very caring and kind lady

[@jonnyalallen]

Oozes maybe not be the right choice of word given her job

[@Sam-gw5pl]

@@jonnyalallenloooooooool

[@goonerbean4680]

I didn’t get kind 🤔 I thought see came across as abit patronising

[@angelstrachan7611]

I like her a lot, it feels like the interviewer is trying to get her to talk about all the ‘gory’ details eg smells, decomposition, horror stories, but she is so respectful and compassionate about the people under her care.

[@zknight4481]

It isn’t so salacious. Those “gory” details are just the job and what is relevant to such a field. It’s simply the areas of the job that make most people shy away from it, which makes the questions feel far more salacious than they truly are. It’s a dark career. We’re hardwired to be uncomfortable with death. The only reason those topics are considered “gory” details is because of how taboo death is. As she said in the interview, “Death is the topic everyone wants to know but no one wants to talk about”. The purpose of these interviews is having one person (the interviewer) who has the courage to ask the questions people want to know, so the one person who is knowledgeable on the topic can provide that knowledge for everyone else. Those questions on their own aren’t really gory or inappropriate, but they could certainly be answered in a gory or inappropriate way. I didn’t get the impression that the interviewer was pushing for more inappropriate or gory answers than what the interviewee provided. I agree that the interviewee did an excellent job treating the topic with compassion and care.

[@lolly5453]

Just what I was thinking. She’s so straightforward, matter of fact and undramatic while showing the utmost respect and understanding. Awesome lady, doing a job not everyone could cope with and doing it with such grace ❤️🙏🏼

[@lokithorn9413]

those gory details won’t be seen often by morticians who work in a single funeral home, if you want details on that you’d need a freelance/trade enbalmer

[@jingregory4085]

She just wanted to help people…she’s truly a gem!

[@janethollman7894]

I don’t know who did the make up on my mother in law. When we went for the viewing it was a bit of a shock. She looked like Barbara Cartland and draped over the top half of the coffin was a net. Like a net curtain the coffin was balanced on two trestles. My father in law had dementia and he pulled of the net to be confronted by this lady. She didn’t look like her he started to slap her face trying to wake her up. My hubby and sister in law really couldn’t cope with this. The coffin was rocking on the trestles it was a nightmare. They left me as I worked within care for years. Death wasn’t as much of a loss for me. I managed to get him outside he was furious it took all my skills to calm him down. When I tried telling my colleagues how bad it was, I couldn’t stop laughing it sounded so over the top. The worst scenario ever but really funny. Now my husband and sister in law find it funny as well.

[@ms.laterholmes2890]

My daughter is a mortician. It takes a very certain person to do this. Thank you so so much.

[@myshellee73]

This lady is EXACTLY the woman i would want looking after my mom or grandma for their final viewing. You are a true gem and there should be wayyyyy more people in the profession just like you. ❤

[@cje3247]

No viewings for us. Ugh.

[@saraghnew91]

I done my sister’s hair and make up when she passed away last year .Talked to her as I was doing it and felt privileged that it was the last thing I could do for her .

[@thehangmansdaughter1120]

A funeral director deals with people on some of the worst day's of their lives. It takes a great deal of empathy, sensitivity and understanding to do it well. This lady has all of those in spades. She's a delight.

[@deanwitt7903]

A funeral director has zero empathy . They have 1 goal and that is to rid a family of their money .

[@daniellevanwyk7971]

I was 21 when a close friend aged 23 died of cancer. Besides the obvious devastation, viewing the open coffin and seeing his hair not done they way he always had it was very upsetting. I was glad to hear her say that it is important to have the person look as when they were alive and that is her goal.

[@butterbeanqueen8148]

As someone who’s mother died when I was rather young I wish I had known that I could have brought a photograph and her regular makeup to the funeral home. It’s something that you don’t think about. My mother had cancer and she was just skin and bones but it was the pink lipstick that helped my father and I decide to have a closed casket. She never wore pink in her life.

[@algonquin7187]

​@@butterbeanqueen8148so unfortunate

[@butterbeanqueen8148]

@@algonquin7187 ❤️

[@cathy3613]

U😮😮

[@hellonomasonto]

@@butterbeanqueen8148My mother died of cancer too almost 2 years ago now and she was also skin and bones. I decided to have an open casket; they didn’t put too much makeup on her (if any at all actually), apart from her favourite wig on her head. I often wonder if I made the right decision having an open casket, but my theory was I wanted to afford her friends the opportunity to say goodbye to her. I’m still wondering if I made the decision. I don’t know.

[@catherinerobilliard7662]

When I was very ill, the nurses spoke to me constantly telling me what they were going to do, then telling me what they were doing, then telling me what they'd done ; it made everything less fearful. Talking that way to someone in your care is compassion.

[@sophieandwayne]

It’s a privilege to look after the ones that have passed. As a nurse I have held many hands when patients pass and have the privilege of washing them and wrapping them ready for the morgue, I was lucky enough to do my Nana too.

[@jennagalina]

God bless you wonderful human

[@sophieandwayne]

@@jennagalina 🥰 thank you but it truly is an honour, I even open the window so their spirit can be freed. A lot of nurses will tell you the same.

[@nurseyj9]

@@sophieandwayne Registered Nurse (UK) for over 20 years here - That's how I was taught and how I teach all my students, it's the last thing we can do for someone in our care.

[@revelationakagoldeneagle8045]

Much respect 🙏🏼 🌹

[@sophieandwayne]

@@nurseyj9 me too! U.K. nurse, I think we have much respect for those who pass in our care ❤️

[@claradebelle8320]

My beautiful father passed in 2014 after a long stay in hospital. The mortician that cared for him was the kindest soul I have ever and will ever meet. She was so thoughtful and respectful. I remember looking at my father and saying he looked better than I had seen him look in months. She did his goatee and haircut perfectly and sprayed him in his cologne. These people are the angels amongst us and should be so respected for the work they do ♥️

[@kathyaustin2387]

BLESSINGS for your compassion/ respect/ expertise for those who have died.

[@brymorian]

My 83 yo darling died this year, and when I viewed her, the mortitians had done a brilliant job. Many thanks to Forsey's of Glastonbury

[@Devils-advocate78]

I hope I get someone like this to look after me when I go

[@kellyatkinson8105]

She’s a lovely lady inside and out. What a living angel.

[@SH-lk8rh]

My Granny died in October in Ireland and the undertaker and the people involved were amazing. As a family we were so grateful for the respect and time and patience they gave us with her. I don't think she could have got a better send off. These people do such an important job. Thank you for sharing your story Debbie.

[@geebee3256]

I’m so sorry about your grandma.

[@mejohn101]

love to u and your family

[@SH-lk8rh]

@@geebee3256 oh thank you. She had a good life and we had her for so long.

[@SH-lk8rh]

@@mejohn101 thank you so much x

[@jamesconfrey9117]

This person has my deepest respect.

[@nishwoman]

Very noble! I like how she speaks about them with care and compassion.

[@Condesamontes]

I managed funeral homes for a time and I did hair and sometimes cosmetics. I played music from their time and talked to them like they were my own family. God bless this lady. 🩷

[@PickThePixie]

My Nan died in 2018 and we used cribbs in Beckton. I do wonder if this lady worked on my Nan. If she did, I would be glad she had such a lovely lady helping her transition to the other side 😢❤

[@lourdesgomez5221]

What a courageous and kind woman. One could only hope that someone so caring and thoughtful would be the last to dress us and to make us appear like we were when alive.

[@pocketlama]

I was on the ground crew at a large cemetery over in Seattle, and I was impressed and comforted by how much care they put into the whole process. We were crude guys for the most part, and we were so mean to each other, in the name of fun, but no one EVER talked shit about the dead or their families. It just wasn't done. Every person I knew and worked with was meticulous about how they took care of the dead and their families and friends. I was deeply moved by this wide range of people, all doing a part of the process and all with differing styles and behaviors, but every one of them determined to do their very best, in the most respectful way they could.

[@sarahm9813]

That's very comforting to know

[@tinaannvyze7966]

What a lovely lady we all need someone like her

[@bionicnichola9251]

Absolute diamond of a lady. A great heart. A convo I've had a few times with my friend about someone doing our make-up. I've said I'll do hers, and she'll do mine depending who goes first 😂

[@philnoel5839]

I have the greatest Respect for this lady, She is a true angel.

[@bizzylizzy5075]

What a lovely compassionate lady 💜

[@ellie3365]

We can only dream to be in such good hands like this wonderful empathic lady when we pass

[@jmac5951]

Her respect and empathy are a comfort.

[@alexn8583]

Thank you for being so dignified. This brings me comfort in the way my mum will be treated by people like yourself. Thank you. My mum is currently on end of life palliative care 😭💔

[@angelalewis3118]

Strength and peace to you Alex

[@mslondonlove1435]

I’m so sorry Alex, sending you sooo much peace and love ❤️

[@alexn8583]

I appreciate it thanks people. My mum was young she passed this evening with all her family bothers and sister mum n dad sons an daughter all around her. All her children was holding her when she passed it was beautiful. It brings me great comfort in the way she has passed. I have just watched this vid again and asked my sister to watch it and help her understand mum will be treated with dignity

[@mslondonlove1435]

@@alexn8583 🥺😔 May she rest in peace, my deepest condolences to you and your family. 💐 I hope this video helps your sister 🫂

[@clarab325]

@@alexn8583 may your mom rest in peace, so sorry for your loss, sending you a lot of strength

[@flymummawaterbabes9583]

I worked as a Funeral Arranger, my training was very comprehensive. I've dressed, made up, trimmed hair, whatever was required for the deceased in my care. It's an absolute honour to be able to do this for families loved ones. And I, too, would talk to them and tell them what I was doing all the way through my care of them. You're dealing with families in the most raw stage of their grief, I'm proud and honoured to have worked with the families I have. And to make the last image of loved ones as easy as I could. ❤

[@Sam-gw5pl]

Bless you

[@hannahrachelxo2281]

Licensed Esthetician/makeup artist here! I very much look up to this woman, and the others that do this. I did a brides makeup today, which I thought was stressful. God bless her, and all that have passed. 🙏🙏🙏

[@thetoymanator7723]

Remarkable lady! A good example of the right person in the right profession. Not just a job but a genuine desire to help people during a rough time.

[@macaroon666]

My aunty has the same job. She prepared my father for his funeral, and prepared her own father for his funeral. She said when she did her own dad that the entire time it was just like any other person and she never felt overwhelmed until the day of the funeral when she saw him in the open casket. true professional.

[@Pinkdinosaurs7]

She radiates such a comforting energy. Some people are just made for these jobs, really interesting video.

[@Ilovesouplots]

What a wonderful lady, hearing that people who have passed have been in such loving hands is very comforting. Nothing but respect for this lady, and all the others like her who help our loved ones look how they usually would when they pass on :)

[@user-tt8qh9hz1k]

She is such a sweet woman. No coldness expected of such a tough job, just empathy and love.

[@satansonion8020]

This woman is incredible. It takes a loving soul to tend to the deceased and their families the way she does. And to take on caring for those closest to her while grieving their loss at the same time. ❤️ And I love that dress 👏🏼

[@marthacannizzo4791]

What a wonderful soul. ❤

[@sarasate89]

This is one of those jobs that makes me believe in humanity still. The compassion and care she shows to those who are deceased is fantastic. What she does really helps the relatives process what happened and grieve for their loved one.

[@kaylaalexandria9658]

I officially graduate this May and began my morgue internship. I am so so so excited to be a part of this industry. Debbie did a wonderful job, and provided such great insight, and I felt nothing but peace and serenity while watching her speak. She naturally has a very calming aura and I look forward to helping many families during their moments of grief. ❤

[@tracyyy99]

There are certain people in this world who are truly wonderful for what they do...The Emergency People...and people like this lady...Lovely human being.

[@taraleighprice]

What a beautiful lady, inside and out. Her caring and respectful nature shines bright. Absolute gem of a soul ❤

[@chrissilvester5663]

This woman clearly takes great pride in her work & clearly treats these dead bodies with the utmost care, respect & compassion. I mean it's quite a difficult job to do but she makes it sound like it's easy. Good on her for enjoying what she does. Not many women would do such a job

[@Princess_Sissy_Rachel]

I dressed my Mama after she passed. The funeral home workers were absolutely amazing and went above and beyond to support and help. What I truly appreciated the most was how respectful and reverent they were with my Mama’s body. I know it was just her body and her spirit was gone but the respect they show is truly a blessing and a comfort. They truly care for your loved ones. I’m grateful I did it and will forever be grateful to the people there who helped make it possible.

[@natasha.rewindstopplay]

I lost both grandparents in the same week two. They were on different sides of the family. Miss them very much. Amazing person you are. We all must go at some stage but also to be who we are when we leave. Thank you. 😇

[@gun30t]

Very important work. What an absolute sweetheart this woman is.

[@alzmcfluffy]

What an absolutely intelligent and compassionate woman!

[@aislingconnolly9165]

My dad was a forensic Pathologist. He was devoted to his job.a lovely Lady who loves her job.❤ at school people used to think his job was weird .... but nowadays they are highly respected and rightly so.

[@blbrightlights564]

What a lovely lady she seems so kind and real.

[@BIGG91732]

I could never be a mortician God bless this lady what a good heart she has

[@kathrynseton1]

This lady has such an enormous and loving heart! She is truly a blessing to the families of the deceased. She is assisting the angels through her work! God bless you Madam!❤❤❤

[@fart-gravy]

when you see the body as a vehicle to complete a mission in a certain place , it reduces the fear of death.

[@makhomoovervoorde8988]

I am so terrified 😢

[@fart-gravy]

youll be fine

[@loopylou6841]

We need to stop being freaked out by death and dying , it's a normal part of life. Only a few hundred years ago we used to deal with our own dead at home, and some families still practice this, which I find beautiful 🕊️

[@tylahoc9271]

In my country we do it at home, well they will usually get picked up and embalmed and then come back home in the coffin and we have a open casket and sit and sleep around the coffin for 3 days and then its the final day. Putting the lid on is the hardest part!

[@Therealtruthsocial]

What a beautiful woman inside and out. Her speaking voice and compassion is amazing!

[@Grandmotherof3]

I admire her so much! Beautiful compassion! ❤

[@JeanineBruen]

The bit about the medium and Rose saying thank you really stopped me in my tracks. I get such a sense of honesty from this woman- so this gives me hope. As much of a realist as I am, I always look for glimmers that there’s something else after all this. ❤

[@charlotte583]

We all need a Debbie…. We all belong to someone and in those moments, when we can’t be there for our darlings, Debbie is that someone … a truly beautiful lady and surrounded by love ❤️ xx

[@cje3247]

No “we” don’t. I’m Jewish. No embalming. No viewing. No make-up. Respect for the deceased person.

[@charlotte583]

@@cje3247 why the hostility? You can educate without being so hostile…, you took a comment made from a place of love and made it hostile. In life, or death we all need someone with compassion and love, Debbie the nurse in the hospital, Debbie the paramedic, Debbie the shop keeper, Debbie, the person at the store… someone in a moment of personal distress that comforts and aids you…. I don’t mean we all need to be embalmed, please read my initial comment again but this time, through the lens of kindness, not offence…. I appreciate your comment for educating me to something I was not aware of, thank you. For the rest of my life, this will always be my first interaction with a Jewish person, I’m gutted 😞 xx

[@mollywestlake9818]

@@charlotte583please know, we ain’t all like that. You sound nice. I’m sorry this is your first impression! I’m Jewish, I thought your comment was kind.

[@marjtierney]

This is the kind of lovely, respectful person that you’d want to deal with following the death of a loved one.

[@maratusa]

What a lovely person. Thank you for your compassion.

[@user-pe3hp3qn7c]

Absolutely...she is a loving person!

[@boogoodie]

Bless this dear lady for the job she does, with such a endearing heart ❤️. It's something I couldn't do, but I have great respect for those that do.

[@dbcruser3133]

Such a lovely, caring lady.

[@gbc7344]

Amazing lady ..thank you for what you do 🙏💜

[@coraramage9100]

What a lovely lady. I hope I get someone as caring when I go ❤

[@kellyburnett1833]

I’m so grateful for those who do this work.

[@leswehman11]

This lady is an angel!! God love and bless her! This is her calling, and she is focused on helping the family, and I’m sure if the decedent could tell her, they would thank you for doing what she does for the family.

[@bia.miller]

It takes such a special person to be able to do this work. Thank you for having the strength, courage and heart to do the work and help people say goodbye to their loved ones. ♥️

[@jeremywentworth1833]

I couldn't do it, im 53 and my father is housebound and we know its coming as hes been told it could be weeks it could be 18 months , i won't go see my Dad like i couldn't see my mum or my wife. On 15/98 i found my best mate and promised i would never physically see a dead loved 1 again. She looks and sounds caring my father had his own business and has always dressed immaculately hope he has someone so caring when it comes.

[@erickiyoshiphillips2323]

Me either. My parents want to be cremated I have enough of memories of them in my head for the rest of my life. I wouldn't want to see them dead. My dad is the same way he told my mom he won't go see me if I die. He said he couldn't handle it so my mom would have to ID me when I die. They talked bout it because I was on drugs and could have died any day

[@jeremywentworth1833]

That's how I found my best friend he had overdosed drugs don't discriminate I went to private schools , my Dad 35 years later still says it was the biggest waste of money he spent my private education lol and college for 4 years and I've still been on and off drug's.

[@MM-lg2dg]

Beautiful person inside and outside ❤

[@SmallAndSoft]

i really hope in america we have angels like this to give our last goodbyes to be as if we are asleep in peace 🥹

[@mfranck1]

What a sweet person. Bless your heart. ❤

[@Emma-Rose]

What a lovely, compassionate and caring nature this lady has xx

[@reneeburgess9299]

Lovely lady. Much respect for her.

[@Nonone41667]

She seems so beautiful and compassionate. Thank you ❤️

[@Delightful_Debi]

What a beautiful soul Debbie is So much compassion and empathy for loved ones who have passed She would be the right person who could talk on a tv show to raise awareness about loved ones who have passed & what happens with the utter most respect ✨️ I really think this lady would help put so many peoples minds at ease ❤❤

[@Annie33]

My mum and dad died in 2016 and 2019. We used Cribbs and they were looked after at Becton. I know they were looked after so respectfully ❤

[@mdee8784]

Amazing lady. Thank you for your precious work

[@mikekelly9126]

❤ Huge respect and responsibility during a difficult time in a families life. Can see it being very rewarding and very hard too.

[@jwilson2042]

As you said you work at Cribbs in Beckton you must have done my sister who died 31st March 2020, from Covid. May I thank you for the beautiful way you made her look. Having worked in the funeral business myself I know the good and the bad results - my sister looked just as though she was in a peaceful sleep with a slight smile, and an amazing natural colour. I cannot thank you enough. 🙏💞

[@liatl8228]

What a special, kind lady ❤

[@AnishinaabeWaterProtector]

What a wonderful human being 💜 Thank you for everything you do for these “clients” and their family!

[@user-hc7co1ns7o]

Beautiful inside and out. Thank you ❤

[@deedeemac]

🥰🥰🥰🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦 Thank you Debbie for taking such care. It reminds me of my mom. Her hair and makeup were fabulous but sadly I didn’t think to provide feedback to the mortician. Thank you too for talking to them. I know they are there with you. I watch a lot of NDE videos and believe more in the afterlife than ever. I’ve thought often that if I’m ever in a coma I hope that my family will have my favourite music playing for me as it calms me down! I worked as an ICU nurse and did talk to the patients as I bathed them, turned them, suctioned them etc. I encouraged families to talk with them and I found the families felt much less stressed. I wonder now if music would have helped the patients I cared for. Music heals and calms! God bless you for the care you provide!

[@Dallas-Nyberg]

Great interview with a wonderfully compassionate lady...

[@erikamonihen8873]

What a beautiful soul!!!

[@BK_ZERO]

What a wonderful and caring woman. We need to take the stigma out of death and discussing death and pieces like this are vital in that. Thank you LADBible for interviewing this woman.

[@paulgarcia2625]

A living Angel 😇 God bless you for all you do.

[@rudolphbissessar1308]

She is so honest and compassionate

[@whatchannel3679]

What a wonderful lady, the interviewer let it down with the style of questioning and this lady kept it on the right track and where it should be. I'm glad i watched it and listened to her story, fantastic positive person. We need more of her on this planet.

[@dmcmillan1968]

What a Wonderful Lady.

[@monicac.6941]

What a lovely lady! Thank you for sharing.

[@sherry3661]

She is precious and she has a very important job❤️

[@reshmabeharie9155]

I love this job as well. I am a technician for the morgue. I cannot see myself doing NOTHING else❤🎉

[@LS-fe4ob]

Wonderful lady. Such a calm, down to earth and loving person ❤

[@vanhawk1074]

Strong woman . Not everyone could do this type of work . My respect

[@revelationakagoldeneagle8045]

Much Respect to Miss Debbie 🙏🏼 🪶 ✨ Thank You 🌹

[@lll3821]

What a kind woman, she has kind eyes

[@user-sf7ub4eb4m]

What a beautiful person.

[@Beardedexpat7614]

What a lovely lady.

[@kathyjackson3751]

Thank you for the care you show