Moving Into The House My Husband Lived With His First Wife

[@gatorjenni]

For me, it wasn't necessarily just moving into the home my husband shared with his ex, but also into the community where she was from and still lives. There wasn't anywhere that I could escape the reminders of the past, and I felt so much like an outsider. I was constantly running into her and her friends in the grocery store, at the gym, at the post office. I didn't last in that situation, but stuck it out for 3 years so that my stepkids could get through high school. We moved 45 minutes away a few years ago and it was a total game changer for me.

[@belindatilley6841]

I'm going through that now. Incredibly painful. His ex-wife had way too much influence over our relationship because he didn't put boundaries in place. I'm currently looking for a new place to start our lives over again. It was never a home for my daughter and I.

[@nok427]

When I was twelve my parents divorced. My Mother remarried and one day after school I came home to my Mom and step dad putting the contents of our home in a dump truck. Any item from my Dad was tossed as garbage including the material he used to make my cherished activity with him…. Our backyard skating rink. I also was forced to give up my bedroom to the baby my mom was expecting. My entire childhood to that point was erased. To this day my heart is still broken. A few years later my father remarried and she put the contents of my Dad’s house out for the garbage man. Her main desire in life was a spotless house. Please take extra care when you do redo your spouse’s house. For me the pain still stings 30 years later.

[@realityandunicorns521]

I am in the same exact boat! Also you have inspired me to start blogging about stepmom life.

[@Anonymous-su4tc]

Therapy with Jamie 🙂 I always appreciate your videos. And yes! I would love a renovation video!

[@caskreger]

Love your videos. I’m going through a hard time right now with my stepchildren and this is helping me. Video idea: how to deal kids going between 2 different households that operate completely different.

[@donikatod460]

I second on the bedroom. In my case it was different because we took another room as our bedroom. But the old marital bed being there bothered me a lot. It changed a lot for me when we changed that room and removed the bed (which wasn't needed anymore for anyone and was clogging the space that had been repurposed altogether)

[@jimenaatuan6468]

Thank you so much for this Channel it helps so much! I’m so new at being a stepmom and it is hard AF, this is very helpful!

[@Cece29able]

Thank you Jamie! You’re a lifesaver! I love purging old junk. Haven’t got a dumpster yet, but getting there. I’m not a stepmom, but am dating a divorced man. Without kids in the picture, he doesn’t need to hold onto old momentos. Painting definitely helps! Without your positive advice, I don’t think I’d still be here. I’ve been in “their” house for a year and I keep reminding myself that it will get better!

[@JJs-ClassC-Adventures]

Talk him into moving. I have been in "their house" for 30 years. Even if it gets better, you deserve your own nest.

[@Cece29able]

@@JJs-ClassC-Adventures I left him over a year ago for many reasons, one of them cuz he refused to move.

[@kathrynshuey8411]

This video is perfect!!! This is exactly What I did when I moved into my boyfriends house I had to get rid of sooo much makeup, clothes, pictures, memories, ect…. It was definitely hard at first but it got sooo much easier and now the whole house is completely purged and it’s our home now!!

[@nicoles3373]

would love to see any home renovations you do. Even though not a step mom and there wasn't "things" or keepsakes in the house we bought, it definitely wasn't the style I want for my home either. Think 90's orange oak, tarnished brass everything (door handles, switch & electrical plates etc.), gold and crystal chandeliers. Really like your style and home aesthetic

[@shanuaim154]

Hi, I really love your video. My friend is the one who shared this with me yesterday. Because I am exactly going through this phase right now. I am a step mom of 3 big kids and with no kids of my of my own.

[@amandasalembinder8258]

Love this! That’s is exactly what I’ve been doing, although my husband did his own overhaul before I moved in as well lol! So we’re on a “we” overhaul... the poor house 😂she’s like, make up your mind people! Your outtakes are everything, you crack me up 🤣😍😁

[@ZairaBrilhante]

Thank you, this is super helpful. Would love more videos about the early days. I’m on my first 1.5 year of dating a father of 3 and dealing with a perhaps more complicated than it had to be start... So appreciate all the tips!

[@belindatilley6841]

Same situation for me. I always felt like an outsider and his son treated my daughter and I like we weren't even if the same room. My partner took forever to clean out her things and make room for us. There was never enough room for me. The day I ended our relationship there were still photos up of his ex-wife and son, but nothing of us even though we were together for years. The most painful experience I've had so far. It never became a home for me.

[@SonicFrequency]

Thank you! This was really helpful!

[@melaniecoyle7821]

I just recently came across your blog and videos. These are great tips, we have done many of these things and more. It's nice to see positive alternatives to navigating life as step-parent!

[@romanrosa8487]

Wow I’m so happy you have created this video but I threw away his ex wife wedding pictures and made him delete his pictures from his phone

[@SophiaMalchoff]

Great video and tips. Thank you Jamie!

[@ashleynicole9423]

I notice you film in your kitchen a lot. And although we plan on moving to a bigger house that’s more of my style, the kitchen is a cause of great discomfort for us (me) in this household. I don’t know how to navigate around the skids. My fiancé has some awkward routines and traditions that don’t help. The skids are always in the kitchen hanging out and I have nothing to talk to them about so it’s always awkward silence. It’s just the busiest part of the house. I could only dream of having space to record in the kitchen or even just having a cup of tea in the morning. I feel like if I could get in the kitchen I could actually establish myself as the queen of the castle. Right now I’m fighting for that role from his teenage daughter😅

[@teliciamckee9477]

I have been trying to explain this to my hubby for years. But I just couldn’t my finger on it until I read this message. You’re right it’s the busiest or nerve center of the home and mine also camp out in there. And it’s awkward. Has it got any better for you?

[@ashleynicole9423]

@@teliciamckee9477 Nope. Hasn’t gotten any better. We have ups and downs. The only time I really use the kitchen is when they’re not here. My hubby brings me coffee or tea in the morning and I wait until they’ve had lunch before I go down. I wish I could say it got better but it hasn’t.

[@sauravbasu1344]

Do your step children feel that you love your own biological daughter more than you.

[@duaali4881]

Hey Jimmie im facing the same I have facing this issue from almost last year ...the first relation is not over yet the first wife left my husband almost two year ago ,i feel so bad sometimes pls give me some tips to overcome same feelings..

[@blessedwithboys5196]

I had to find an old cell phone of him and the ex doing the dirty definitely a mind trip...

[@toriberg2146]

I am 19 (almost 20) and I am dating a dad (21) with a 5 year old boy which he is 7 days with dad and 7 days with mom. I am confident we are going to get married after I am done with college. Do you have any advice for me to becoming a future stepmom? Or any advice right now? Most 19 year olds aren’t in the same situation I am in.. it would be nice to hear advice or talk to someone about it! I feel so alone sometimes!

[@JJs-ClassC-Adventures]

I married my husband 30 years ago and moved into the house where he lived with his ex-wife and 3 children. I had 2 children. Changing the bedrooms to have my children there was a huge issue. We lived over all the issues, and the children all grew up and have their own homes. Thirty years later, I am still being guilted into living in the same house because he loves it. If you can, don't do this. You will never truly be happy in the house your husband picked out with his ex-wife.

[@Julia-vu6fr]

Me too …

[@amandairvin8945]

I don't think I could live in another woman's house

[@kchalk31283]

I love your channel, and I watch you all the time. I really related to this video, I was renting when I started dating my husband and I ended up moving into the house he bought right before he divorced his ex-wife. She only lived in it for less than a year, but it was a really, really hard adjustment to come to terms with the fact that I was living in a space she lived in. I do have one question after watching this video though. Does your husband's ex-wife watch your channel, or do people tell her about your videos? The reason why I'm asking is because when you made that comment about the bathroom being purple and brown and "Who does that?!?" All I could think was "Oh my God girl... you are asking for trouble, putting down her taste/style like that..." Maybe she's not that petty to get mad about hearing you say that??😂...

[@JennaMeowLifestyle]

I am also a new step mom and have moved into a house that was shared with his ex. I have to say I find it quite alarming and disappointing that a man can not due the work to clean and sort through his own home before asking a new woman to share his home. I would find that incredibly disrespectful. I am his life and love partner, not a cleaner or house keeper. I would see that as a huge red flag if a men is hanging on to all of this.

[@samiahvlog8609]

I'm a stepmom with 6 kids

[@sarahscalpel561]

Ha you only get a better version of the guy if he actually learned or changed but if you’re with the wrong guy...who isn’t gonna change and you can see why it didn’t work out with anyone else...it’s hard to see it working out with you lol

[@larissamclearen8323]

I feel bad for your guy

[@bonilamson3322]

What suggestions do you have if your husband refuses to change anything such as carpeting, furniture, etc., and he never wants to throw ANYTHING away? What if he won't spend the money on renovations and won't let you even if you're willing to spend your own money and his comments are "you can't afford it... you need to save your money for your retirement..." etc. It's hard enough to live in the house he shared with his family for 20+ years, but to not be able to change anything to my style is frustrating and depressing. I know he loves me, but he's so stuck in his ways. Believe me, I have told him how hard this is on me but he just doesn't get it... and I'm afraid, never will.

[@nobulalitshwete4346]

M in the same boat ,Boni....maybe your husband is better than mine 😞 this one time I sold a painting that was bought by his first wife and he.never spoke to me for a week he literally got disgusted by me and told me that if I sell anything else I must just take my things and leave...sofa can't change , coffee table can't change even though they are so outdated took the kitchen staff gave them to the daughter who doesn't live with us to use without him knowing ...but kitchen cupboards are horrible ...I really can relate to everything you said been staying with my husband in their house for more than 12 years now and even the paint is still the same only changes I forced to make was the bedrooms and kitchen appliances cutlery and plates only ....

[@Betcaligarcia]

This smells like un tarro