The Worst Artifacts in the History of Magic: the Gathering are Hilariously Bad

[@marioroz3142]

Early MTG design is so funny: fast mana, cheap tutors, cheap counterspells = meh ok. Damage prevention, life gain, mana fixing, ping for 1 = BROKEN!

[@Kylora2112]

Viridian Longbow is 1 (to cast) + 3 (to equip) that lets your deathtouch creatures ping any creature on the board. I love Viridian Longbow in my Shelob tribal spider commander deck since everything I run gets deathtouch (and I get a food artifact copy of the crature killed).

[@hanschristopherson8056]

Don’t forget how bad creatures were too

[@Kylora2112]

Kinda like old Yugioh. Pot of Greed (draw 2) and Graceful Charity (draw 3, discard 2) will probably never come back to legal status, while monsters went from "remove its +300 ATK counter to destroy a spell/trap" and "if this monster is summoned, add a HERO monster from deck to hand" were both banned for a time, while now Raidraptor - Rising Rebellion Falcon (a 4000 ATK beatstick) has "Unaffected by other cards' effects. If this card is Xyz Summoned: You can destroy as many cards your opponent controls as possible, then if this card has 3 or more "Raidraptor" Xyz Monsters with different names as material, inflict damage to your opponent equal to the combined original ATK of the destroyed monsters. Once per turn: You can detach 3 materials from this card, then target 1 "Raidraptor" Xyz Monster in your GY; this card gains that monster's effects until the End Phase." and it's the boss monster of a deck that's barely even rogue tier.

[@n3croticism]

Just like a lot of beginners, Wizards thought life points were much more importat than they actually are, so effects like life gain or damage prevention were considered very strong.

[@mjstcseaflapflap9479]

You are allowed to play, but not win.

[@moedark4390]

How do we print 10 mana on Aladdin's Lamp ? how about two 5's......why not just make it cost 9? NO WAY, then it would be busted.

[@toolittletoolate]

Don't forget, It's a Mono Artifact. That means it has to tap to activate.

[@thomaslardinois6383]

One thing he didn't mention on the Aladdin's Lamp segment was that it's actually been erratad to be even worse.

[@hermodnitter3902]

It's the quest of getting there... For me, getting to cast Aladdin's Lamp equals a win ;)

[@ty_sylicus]

​​@@hermodnitter3902 House rule, Aladdin's Lamp gives you there wishes! Choose from the following: Tutor a card into your hand, Gain 10 life, Take an extra turn after this one, Tap all permanents you don't control, Draw 7 cards. 🤔

[@Eshtian]

​@ty_sylicus Choose: "gain 10 life" *One of these is not like the others*

[@hitmangfx7162]

Magic in 1994 was way different. Drop your Will O The Wisps and Walls of Air, then draw into enough mana to cast your Aladdin's Ring. Your opponent is guaranteed to be dead before turn 20 or 30, since their Serra Angel can't break through your defenses and they're taking 4 to the face each turn. Unless they Healing Salve to delay the inevitable. Maybe the repeatable damage prevention of Rakalite would be a hard counter? Hmm...

[@hermodnitter3902]

I actually play Rakalite as a one-of toolbox card in an oldschool deck that uses 4 x Power Artifact and 4 x Basalt Monolith to provide infinite mana, and I can find it with Transmute Artifact if I need to survive until I find my other win-cons. So some of these here in this list actually have utility if youngot infinite mana, like Juju Bubble.

[@jamesrule1338]

Why I liked my Thrull Champion/Breading Pit deck. Try and defend against me getting one or even two 2/3 thrulls per turn. Just have to keep the Champions alive and paying an upkeep of 2 black Mana per turn per pit. There's some value.

[@hitmangfx7162]

@@jamesrule1338 Back in those days, we packed 4 Swords to Plowshares and 4 Disenchants in the main deck for a reason. Get reckt!

[@olvynchuru1663]

While Aladdin's Ring is definitely pretty overcosted, it actually has a really good effect. The ability to deal 4 damage at instant speed each turn is no joke, and can absolutely win games. For its time, Aladdin's Ring was actually a pretty solid control finisher. The idea is that you'd use the rest of your deck to remove boards that Aladdin's Ring is too slow to handle, then late in the game, when the coast is clear, you play Aladdin's Ring. From that point onward, if your opponent plays a creature, you kill it with Aladdin's Ring at the end of their turn, or if they don't play a creature, you burn them for 4.

[@Funkytrip73]

yeah, I won games that way! And by putting an animate artifact on Alladin's lamp of course. In theory I could have put my animate artifact on Alladin's ring, give it vigilance with Arcum's sleigh, attack for 8 AND then ping for 4 afterwards :D

[@ironkodiakbooks5115]

There is a picture from an article in the local paper published in summer of 1994 of a bunch of us playing Magic at the local shop. I have TWO Aladdin's Rings in okay on the board. The ability to deal 4 damage & kill Sera Angel, Sengir Vampire, & Air Elemental plus White/Black Knights. It was actually pretty useful.

[@verdiss7487]

Yeah, I think it's weak, but it's not actively bad. 4 damage sorceries/instants always have the hidden effect that all spells have: "discard this card". Is a 4-5 mana premium, plus an up front 8, worth removing that discard issue? Probably not, but it's definitely worth some amount of mana extra/upfront cost.

[@erichumphrey1786]

Throw it into a Megatron commander deck where bigger is better.....even if you don't use the excess mana from sacrifices, you can use it for fuel to sacrifice for his ability. I'd say it's a "potential" but again, other options may be better, 😅

[@kyleolson8977]

It was never "Good", but in the revised era of casual MTG the ring was played enough because it did something, which is more than the worst cards here. Seth's list of worsts cards are never very accurate. He can't seem to tell "underpowered" or "not good" from actually "worthless". He also doesn't know the context of what older cards played at the time.

[@Zilvermonkey]

Against the Odds: Aladdin edition. Make it happen Seth

[@beanofknowledge2125]

North Stars Art is way too good for a card that bad

[@carissamace]

That's Kaja Foglio for ya. He's the artist behind the Girl Genius webcomic, as well as a few Munchkin cards, and is overall very good. It's a shame then that basically all of his MTG art is for really bad cards. They do look really cool though.

[@zirilan3398]

@@carissamace *Humility has entered the chat*

[@carissamace]

@@zirilan3398 I did say 'basically' after all, he has done the art for some good cards.

[@dementievatz]

@@carissamaceYes, except that Kaja is a she. Kaja and Phil Foglio are a husband and wife team, and they both did a lot of cool early Magic art. Phil’s are more straightforwardly jokes.

[@carissamace]

@@dementievatz Oh for god's sake. My bad! The website I read that from when I double-checked if that name was who I thought it was was really vague because it phrased it like: "The comic [Girl Genius] is written and drawn by Phil and Kaja Foglio. He [Phil] was..." So it was really hard to tell which name applied to who at first glance, especially since there was only a photo of Phil and not Kaja.

[@leemay7780]

"thats 14 mana and a time restriction to build....an Impulse" LOL

[@sidneypowelstock6812]

the best part is even after building a 14 mana impulse its still doesn't net you a card like impulse does

[@stephenhousman6975]

@@sidneypowelstock6812 Impulse doesn't net you a card either. Impulse replaces itself.

[@tonythepokemonguy751]

Go ahead take out the apocalypse chime, your gonna get bodied by my serrated arrows

[@BraydenCobb-lg3nc]

Aladdin’s ring is a mono artifact, meaning by the oracle text, it is in fact not even repeatable😂

[@whaleofdarkness]

Mono artifact just means that you have to tap it. Aladdin's Ring was reprinted in core sets from Revised until 9th edition.

[@51gunner]

Oh man that's bad. At least I thought it'd be a funny way to turn infinite colorless into a win, Walking Ballista style, but it can't even do that?

[@vctrsigma]

repeatable across turns/untaps.

[@Zakading]

As mentioned, "mono" just refers to "one per turn" and not once, period

[@jamesdrummond7684]

He's referring to repeatable across turns.

[@bluedestiny2710]

Believe it or not, Apocalypse Chime DID see some sideboard play. The reason was that Homelands still had some finishers that were pretty hard to deal with by Targeted Removal. Autumn Willow, for example, was a 6 mana 4/4 creature with Shroud. You can pay 1 green mana to allow any target player to target Autumn Willow with effects until end of turn. Pump her with Auras and she becomes a legitimate threat with little fear from the enemy sniping it with Dark Banishing or the like. The Chime gave non-white players a Mass Removal effect to deal with these. Fringe, sure, but it STILL had its day in the sun for a bit. Also, for entry: Delif's Cube. 1 Mana Artifact. 1 mana and tap: This turn, if target creature you control attacks and is not blocked, put a cube counter on Delif's Cube and that creature deals no combat damage this turn. 2: remove a cube counter from cube: regenerate target creature Delif's Cone: 0 Mana Artifact. Tap: Sacrifice Delif's Cone: This turn, if target creature you control attacks and isnt blocked, you gain life equal to that creature's power. That creature deals no combat damage this turn Runesword: 6 mana Artifact. 2 Tap: target attacking creature gets +2/+0 until end of turn. If that creature deals combat damage to another creature this turn, that creature cannot regenerate and exile if it leaves the battlefield. If target creature leaves the battlefield, sacrifice Runesword

[@dementievatz]

Good picks. Runesword was on my mental list also - I remember opening that card early on and thinking it was awesome; it was not. War Barge was another along the same lines. Did you know that they removed the creature death clause from Flying Carpet? I just looked it up, and for some reason it gets preferential treatment! 😂

[@jamesrule1338]

Oh Runesword. I tried to make you useful....

[@duncancarter9410]

Arcum's sleigh is actually *always* a blank piece of cardboard, since it can only give vigilance to creatures that already attacked, due to its oracle text caring about the "defending player"

[@daredewley9231]

It only has to be activated in combat. There's a space before attackers are declared where you can activate the Sleigh.

[@duncancarter9410]

@daredewley9231 but there's no "defending player" unless theres a creature attacking

[@duncancarter9410]

after a quick check of the CR, it appears that this rule is insane 507.1 says you choose a single defending player at the beginning of combat, and only after attacks there can be more than one the more you know i guess

[@daredewley9231]

​@duncancarter9410 hey thanks for looking that up. Interesting rule for sure.

[@Tharkon]

@@duncancarter9410 802. Attack Multiple Players Option 802.2. As the combat phase starts, the attacking player doesn’t choose an opponent to become the defending player. Instead, all the attacking player’s opponents are defending players during the combat phase. 508.5a In a multiplayer game, any rule, object, or effect that refers to a “defending player” refers to one specific defending player, not to all of the defending players. If a spell or ability could apply to multiple attacking creatures, the appropriate defending player is individually determined for each of those attacking creatures. If there are multiple defending players that could be chosen, the controller of the spell or ability chooses one. So assuming attack multiple players option is enabled, which it usually is, all opponents will be defending players and you can choose any of them to determine if you can activate Arcum's Sleigh, it does not even have to be the one that the creature is attacking. If the attack multiple players option is not enabled then indeed rule 507.1 kicks in and you have to choose one, but then after attacks there still can't be more than one, because you can't attack a player that isn't a defending player.

[@thornthallid950]

Alladin's Ring was actually a pretty good win condition in early sealed deck. Games would often stall out, and spending 8 a few turns in a row would close things out well.

[@awesomeguy5451]

I feel like the 1 mana do nothing cards should be near the bottom of the list, because at least it only cost you 1 mana and a card. And you might be able to sacrifice it with deadly dispute or something

[@chemicals8582]

True story: I played with both the Aladdin artifacts back in the day. The 'combo' was to put Animate Artifact on them and attack. Early MTG didn't have much expensive artifacts to do this with, so they went in. At least the ring did something if I couldn't animate it; the lamp is just the absolute worst. Honestly I think Delif's Cone should be on the worst artifacts list over the ring.

[@Oneiroclast]

Aladdin's lamp is also a major flavor miss. It should come into play with 3 wish counters, remove a wish counter to tutor a card at instant speed. The bizarre pseudo-scrying effect doesn't say "this grants wishes" at all.

[@dementievatz]

In this version of the story, Aladdin’s wish is always to kill a Serra Angel. - Oops, wrong card! Yes, you’re right.

[@JoeyDCote]

I don't think there were any counters back when Lamp was designed.

[@thatmspaintgirl]

Adding a card to your hand from "outside the game (your sideboard)" is both the canonical and correct card design interpretation of how wishes should work.

[@jaywinner328]

They kinda put this on Ring of Ma'rûf instead.

[@herbertwiley]

The thing to remember, especially with Aladdin's Lamp, is that back in the early days of Magic you could have 4 copies of Sol Ring in your deck--you could play a land, tap it to play Sol Ring, then tap Sol Ring to play a second Sol Ring (then take 1 damage from mana burn), or even Swamp > Dark Ritual > Sol Ring > Demonic Tutor > Sol Ring then have {2}{b} to play something else on turn 1. Anyway, getting to 10 mana wasn't out of the ordinary, especially one Antiquities hit and you could hit Tron with Sol Rings--in the ideal scenario, you could tap your Urza lands, spend 3 mana to unatp them with your Candelabra of Tawnos, then tap them again to have 11 mana available. If you also had a way to get a "draw a card" effect for yourself like Jalum Tome, then you could afford to spend 7 mana during your opponent's end step to look at 5 cards, pick the best one, then move on to your turn and get your regular draw. Yes, there are many similar effects which are much more efficient these days, but way back then you worked with what you had. These days, we would *never* spend 10 mana for the Lamp, not when Trash for Treasure can put it onto the battlefeild for 3 mana or Dr. Madison Li can get it for a mere 5 energy. After that, the effect is actually pretty good--x mana to look at x cards on the top of your library, put one on top, then draw it.

[@bobjiggity]

"One of my favorite memories growing up was playing my favorite NES game: Bobble Bobble" -- Seth

[@RobMedellin]

My jaw dropped multiple times. I can't believe there are worst things than Apocalypse chime

[@DeadlyGrim]

I'm honestly surprised not to see Gustha's Scepter in here. Not because it's a bad card (it saw play during Urza's block and enabled certain strong cards to be even stronger) but because it usually ends up on lists like this. You did a good job of really picking some stinkers! I don't think any of these were even good when they were printed.

[@d12c12w]

I'm so ashamed that several artifacts I loved as a kid are on here. I used to try to animate artifact my Aladdin's lamp to make a 10/10 ... I moved my Aladdin's Ring to various decks because I liked it so much. Curse you art and flavour! I was blinded by these things as a young player.

[@philippschmidt9499]

Aladdin's Ring actually used to be a "good" finisher, like Millstone. But playing it without Tron Lands is kinda hard to manage

[@preselectlee3192]

There's a great little artifact from Kaledesh called Consulate Turret. Terrible. Tap it to reload the turret with energy and then shock your opponent. Me and my buddy had a blast dueling Consulate Turret decks. Lol

[@dementievatz]

Yeah, that one’s pretty bad by itself. At least it synergizes with other cards that use or make energy.

[@sasquatchsenpai]

Saw? You think it's from SAW??? Olive, mah boi. Razor Pendulum is from the Edgar Allan Poe short story, The Pit and the Pendulum.

[@jeffreylooter535]

I built a commander deck with Ursa, high Lord artificer, and the theme was unplayable artifacts to prove that Ursa is broken, and I have most of these cards in the deck

[@eliashigham8901]

Seth mispronouncing “bubble” as “bauble” may be his magnum opus

[@Tm00ne]

Or perhaps his Magma Opus?

[@retnuhytnuob4068]

Magma opals

[@tombiby5892]

I understand it this time since I’d also expect that card to be bauble instead of bubble. I wonder if the makers of the card got it wrong.

[@lseths]

I think Amulet of Quoz should have been on this list. Even if you manage to find someone who's willing to play for ante, it's an expensive card for an an effect that's often to your disadvantage. If you're currently winning and try to activate it, your opponent would happily have the game decided by a coinflip to give themselves a better shot at victory, so it's actually to their advantage. If you're currently losing, then your opponent just shrugs and offers another card for ante and goes on to win anyway after you wasted 6 mana on it. And just to top it all off, even if there was a circumstance where it would be useful, it can only be activated during your upkeep so you can't even make use of it right away.

[@dementievatz]

Yes, excellent pick!

[@christopherlundgren1700]

Despite the poor rate, Aladdin’s Ring was a reasonable pickup in some core set limited environments. If things are slow enough, just tapping out for 4 damage every turn is not that crazy. Could easily be replaced with the likes of Delif’s Cone or Dark Sphere or like a dozen other pointless old artifacts.

[@craigmcconomy9346]

Aladdin's ring is a Mono artifact - meaning it taps when you use it -- so its not even repeatable!

[@ChopSueyyy]

Razor boomerang is also uncommon somehow. One does wonder what the hell Wizards was smoking while designing this card 😂

[@ScornfulEg0tist]

maybe they didn't want a lot of the stinky card in the cardpool in draft

[@cherry9787]

​@@ScornfulEg0tist How about not making stinky cards then

[@lemon-hk4dm]

Alladins ring is only activated once a turn, as "mono artifacts" just mean you can use its abilities once per turn, as tapping an artifact back then meant "turning it off", which is why winter orb and trinisphere only work untapped, as they mimic how they used to work, this is shown by newer printing of Alladins ring requiring you to tap

[@gustavoandrade2643]

Homelands was so bad that the creators made a card focused in destroying it 😅😂

[@crapparc]

Take into account Feroz's Ban and the costs of the cards make sense.

[@lberghaus]

It’s too bad the Apocalypse chime wasn’t rung in time before the set released

[@franslair2199]

Genuinely kind of incredible, I think literally the only spell from the set that still actually sees play is merchant scroll

[@Randalor]

Each expansion up to Homelands had a card that wiped all cards from its own expansion. It's just a coincidence that Chime happens to be in one of the worst sets ever printed.

[@EbonAvatar]

Aladdin's Ring isn't good, but I'll defend its honor slightly. It's definitely not among the WORST artifacts ever. It will win the game for you, and can help you stabilize the board. It doesn't do those things WELL, but it does do them. There are MUCH worse artifacts than that one. Aladdin's Lamp on the other hand is pure trash

[@christopheralexander2931]

Yes it isn't even close to being one of the worst ever, it could totally win games for you at tge time. It just isn't up to modern standards.

[@kokoshomebrews9531]

Arkum’s Sleigh is being driven by an Auroch… probably a Rimehorn Auroch.

[@josht2136]

Juju bauble does allow any color deck to gain an arbitrarily large amount of life if you are able to generate infinite mana

[@Terrabyte13]

If you have infinite mana you should just win the game not gain life lmao

[@josht2136]

@@Terrabyte13 of course, but the potential alone, in my opinion, gives it more value than it's being given credit.

[@vigviggy8689]

It's bubble, not bauble.

[@JD-gk7eh]

Apocalypse Chime actually saw play in sideboards in Standard to get rid of Autumn Willow since most decks didn't have access to Wrath of God. She replaced Erhnam Djinn in Erhnamgeddon decks after the Djinn rotated out of Standard. With Shroud and a 4/4 body, she was hard to kill and that was the only way to do it. I'm glad not to see Golgothian Sylex on this list because it does have a home in Old School 93/94. Antiquities has a lot of powerful lands in Workshop and Factory, mainstays of the format, and the Sylex is a strong card against the powerful Workshop Robots deck in the format. It's a card that's better now because of card availability; "back in the day," people wouldn't have had playsets of all those powerful cards but now they do.

[@superdantheminecraftman8905]

That Obelisk does actually go infinite with Urza, Lord High Artificers and a bunch of cheerios, though

[@DAsrada]

Aladdin's Lamp would be better if it costed 55 mana. Then you can sneak it into play and have Imskir Iron-Eater chuck it at an opponent, killing them instantly in Commander.

[@saprone8885]

Yuriko, the Tiger's Shadow...

[@DAsrada]

@@saprone8885 Imskir's kill is funnier.

[@saprone8885]

​@DAsrada True, with Yuriko it would not be fun to play with or against. It would be pretty powerful though.

[@KingofNeutrality]

I like these lists, but historical context is missing for some of these. Arcum's Weathervane came out in Ice Age. A set that gave you Snow Covered Basics in Starter Decks. This was playable, if marginally, in its time. Throwing it in there without acknowledging the proper context is just irresponsible. Apocalypse Chime is next. As you showed in the video, it has context as well. It was probably played in the Pro Tour shown. When it was in Standard it was probably played as well. Imagine a card that destroys all Modern Horizons cards or Outlaws of Thunder Junction cards. It would see play. There is no mention of City in a Bottle, which kills all Arabian Nights cards. Why not mentioned? It still has play in Old School and possibly in Vintage. Context matters. Stop ignoring it.

[@philippschmidt9499]

also Aladdin's ring is a (better) control finisher like millstone at a time where tron lands and sol rings where around and available

[@PeacefulSubmission]

The facts/history segments you guys do are my favorites. I love learning all the things about M:tG that I've missed over the years.

[@bsus1412]

My friend, who regularly placed into National/world rankings for a time, declared it his mission to destroy every copy of Razor Boomerang he came across. The early box he kept of the card scraps attests to that!

[@possiblystevo9141]

won a ton of games with aladdin's lamp back in the day- erratic explosion (now calibrated blast) for that sweet 10 damage to the face is always a fun time. OG draco for 16 was better but my lamps were 5 pence each :)

[@NateFinch]

I've played all of these in decks except arcum's sleigh and apocalypse chime, so I think those deserve to be higher on the list. Those were terrible even back in the day. Most of the rest of these are only so bad in today's world of cards. Though I admit none were *good* back then either.

[@piralos1329]

Aladin's Lamp for 1 mana isn't stone cold unplayable! In a Zirda deck, you can now pay 1 mana and tap it to look at your top 3 if you would draw, and instead take one of those! Not exactly great, but not embarrassing!!

[@KirkJentoft]

I used obelisk of undoing in my stasis deck to return my stasis at the end of their turn and replay it on mine. With multiple moxen, sol rings, and tron lands, the cost wasn't high but the misery was.

[@stephenbradford8524]

I have a Haldan Pako deck, where every card needs to play into the idea that Haldan’s just taking his boy out for a walk. Razor Boomerang has a place in the list as one of Pako’s dog toys. And I refuse to cut it.

[@Maxuras]

In earlier Magic, it just happened, that both sides just brought out lot's of creatures and killed only few of the opposing creatures, relying on attacks and winning in combat. Since the defender has the choice of whom to block with what, he had the advantage, especially if there was a single banding creature among his. This often lead to long games with armies standing opposed to each other and neither player able to really do anything. In these games, Mana was plentiful and cards like Aladdin's Ring could decide the game.

[@Freddisred]

Some of these make way more sense when you remember mana burn was a thing. Still plenty terrible cards.

[@Death_by_Tech]

10:50 most importantly, 1 white mana was added to the cost

[@dementievatz]

Also a “your turn only” restriction.

[@SilverAlex92]

For -55- 10 mana, Aladdin's Lamp could have easily X: The next time you would draw a card, draw x cards instead. And still it wouldnt be busted.

[@JosephJamesScott]

I used the Aladdin's card in a titania's song deck, I never used the lamp's abilities, it was in there to be a 10/10 artifact creature. The ring I sometimes activated to deal damage while I was waiting for the opportune time to drop the titania's song. The problem with the deck was that it was really slow, even with all those mana producing sources you had back in the early days. You could slow your opponent with winter orbs and icy manipulators but it didn't do well against creature spam.

[@franslair2199]

Hey, meticulous excavation actually sees play in decks that can get mana positive with it, for example, looping dockside extortionist to generate infinite treasures, then something like Phlage to do infinite etb damage.

[@IzzetNilson]

imagine doing that with kroxa where it forces everyone to discard 😭

[@Hanmacx]

Arms Race and Meticulous Excavation Put Artifact Creature into play, attack And then use Meticulous Excavation to return ut to hand I had a Mardu Standard deck around this

[@trevorr994]

I'd say the big thing holding it back is sorcery speed bounce. It's expensive, but if you're playing it in control for example would let you rebuy ETBs at turn end.

[@Hanmacx]

One Problem is "If it has unearth" works only with intrinsic Unearth, Not with Unearth gained by Mishra, Tamer of Mak Fawa

[@franslair2199]

@@trevorr994 yeah the "only on your turn" and the colored pip are strong limitations. I still run it in enchantress, has some interesting applications. For example bounce auramancy, place a role token with elivere, replay auramancy

[@mtgcardzandreview2756]

Arcum's sleigh of course comes from Ice Age and was useful in that set because it did have snow, just the lack of sets to keep snow lands in high use.

[@MindstabThrull]

Back in the day, the number 1 reason I saw people playing Aladdin's Lamp wasn't the card selection - it was to animate it with Xenic Poltergeist or Animate Artifact in order to attack with a colourless 10/10 creature! Aladdin's Ring sometimes made a home in the same deck. I will note though that even though many of these cards are banned, the fact that they're colourless artifacts means they can go into any deck, including decks that don't have the ability to play the kind of cards you mentioned. Also, the effects are repeatable and the comparisons given are often one-shot, so the comparisons feel wrong here. (Thank you for finding Meticulous Excavation for Obelisk of Undoing's example!) I did a quick search on Scryfall, and even though Aladdin's Ring is bad, it looks like it's the most efficient way to deal 4 damage at a time on a regular basis without jumping through extra hoops - ultimating a Planeswalker, flickering a creature or enchantment, etc. Other artifacts on this list, even though they're bad, often feel like they're also in this boat.

[@bobibrews]

Great video. Another card you could compare Aladdin's Lamp to, although not functionally identical, is Soothsaying. You can pay X to reorder the top X. No, it doesn't bottom them if you don't like them, but it's a similar effect where you would keep one of them on top. Soothsaying only cost 1 mana and even has a shuffle option, and it still didn't see play.

[@zwc76]

Absurd Combo (might not work) ... In play: Reconnaissance Leonin Shikari Semblance Anvil (exiling an artifact) Cloud Key Puresteel Paladin In hand: Razor Boomerang So, artifacts is reduced with 3. You go to combat, you attack with the Shikari Leonin. 1. You cast the boomerang 2. You may draw a card 3. You instant equip it to leonin for free using puresteel paladin. 4. you tap it to ping for 1, it goes back to hand 5. You use recon to untap creature 6. Go to Step 1 and repeat ... Infinite damage and card draw! :D

[@blakejones6206]

I ran a standard deck similar to this back in the day. I used the living weapon equipment (one of which way mortar pod that gave reach) I didn't do the untap thing it wasn't necessary. Between puresteel draws and sunbalance reduction you could combo kill your opponent pretty easy. Stoneforge Mystic and Mox opals were in there also.

[@Petronio39]

Razor boomerang can actually get some kills with something like jeskai ascendancy. There's a lot of ways to reduce equipment casting and equip costs, so you can make it close to free with stuff like bureau headmaster, fighter class, etc. There's even some good dorks in the colors, like dalakos, renowned weaponsmith, grand architect, and Urza. Since so many of them cost 3, drift of phantasms can tutor for ascendancy, a dork, or the boomerang it's self. There's even a snazzy backup combo with intruder alarm and either stonybrook schoolmaster, or warchanter skald (again, all at 3 mana). There are easier combos to pull off, but it's neat that it's there, and I had fun brewing a jeskai equipment deck around it.

[@Senrabekim]

Aladdin's Ring is not repeatable. It is a Mono Artifact, meaning that it had to be tapped to use. If you go look at a Mox for example the exact wording on the card Mox Emerald 0 Mono Artifact Add one green mana to your mana pool. Tapping this artifact can be played as an interrupt. It doesn't tell you that you have to tap it, because that is baked in to the mono artifact portion. You can see the difference with the later mentioned Rakalite, which is a poly artifact and does not tap, thus is repeatable.

[@JVarley9001]

Idea to make Juju Bauble useful: Play it in a sacrifice deck. Play it, then immediately play something else to activate all your sac triggers.

[@jamesrule1338]

The correct use of Aladdin's Lamp. Ramp using fastbond and channel to get the lamp out fast. Then use Animate Artifact. Boom, 10/10 creature.

[@frost7842]

Counterargument for Aladdin's Lamp, it's Impulse that turns into 10 damage in Bosh, Iron Giant deck

[@williamlogan5376]

Dumb story, but Apocalypse Chime was my first "Pull"getting back into the game. The shop I lived at for 8 years did grab bags, and "your big rare could be anything, from a Jace the mind sculptor (over 100 at the time, new phyrexia era) to an apocalypse chime. I asked what it was, and as went through I started dying laughing. He offered to give me a new bag because I pulled it as my first one, but I had to give the chime back if I did. Still have it, Still my baby to this day 💜

[@CDShap]

I actually once figured out a recursive combo using razor boomerang. It required like 7 different cards and a lot of mana up front. There were at least 2 cards that did the same thing for less, but I considered this crappy card anyway for redundancy.

[@swapbloodcell]

i love the energy you bring when you talk about mtg. keep it up my dude

[@blushingmushroom1949]

Apocalypse Chime was a sideboard card at the time to get rid of the only card from the set that mattered, Autumn Willow.

[@richardwells9172]

In defense of Aladdin's ring if you can cheat it out it can be a consistent source to hit Planeswalkers

[@TwolfS3041]

I recall a goldfish podcast where someone was die-hard defending how North Star is an all-star good card, and it was hilarious.

[@jolteon345]

The 500 IQ play with Obelisk of Undoing is to hold Cyclonic Rift mana so you can flash it out and bounce your key permanent. I’m not saying that it’s a good move but it would catch your opponents off guard.

[@ty_sylicus]

Does naming a card "Razor" make a card bad? Not necessarily but, it's funny that's it's happened twice on this same list.

[@usagi2988]

@4:11 the number of times I thought about needing an effect like North Star as I get Blood Moon'ed out of my non-Red deck is definitely more than zero (but this is more of a comment on my deckbuilding/deck choice than the actual utility of North Star).

[@georgeseitz8275]

The funny thing is that with the right cards, like agatha or other ability cost reduction cards, they can become actually useful.

[@thatmspaintgirl]

1. Obelisk of Undoing is SIGNIFICANTLY more useful than the other Artifacts on this list, since it lets you dodge board wipes. 2. Razor Boomerang has a two and a half times worse Mana-to-Damage ratio than Alladin's Ring AND you have to tap a creature each time for it.

[@serrahool]

Not even a mention to the allmighty Sandstone Deadfall? Paying 3 mana, tapping it, sacrifice 2 lands and the artifact itself for destroying an attacking creature is too powerful?

[@geordiekeefe4067]

Nice list! Looking at the history of Magic, some of these cards were tolerable when they came out. North Star, for example, Legends was the first set that had a ton of multi-color cards, and there weren't a lot of ways to get whatever manna you wanted. I mean, I'm not saying that WotC always had it right at the time! Aladdin's Ring and Lamp were awful, and Arcum's Sleigh was laughable, because snow covered lands were so useless no one was going to play them!

[@Gruegirl]

I could see a razor pendulum being useful if you have a life-sacrifice/platinum-angel combo going on. Get your life really low and have a card that makes tokens or does damage whenever you take damage etc.

[@ty_sylicus]

Imagine an Apocolype Chime that requires the player to name a Magic set as it's activated.

[@holotori_senior_admin_teno]

I could replace one or two of these with Delif's Cube. Coral Helm is pretty ludicrous; 6 mana and discard a card at random to give a creature +2/+2 until end of turn. Also, as much as I wanted Runesword to be a thing when I was a kid, 9 mana investment to give a creature +2/+0 is ridiculous, and adding on that the Runesword gets sacrificed if the creature leaves play is just the cherry on the top of awfulness. Then there's Tower of Coireall, Balm of Restoration, Sandals of Abdullah, and Celestial Prism... Early MTG really was full of examples. Dishonorable mention to the early 0 mana artifacts that were never worth it too. Even low powered 0 mana artifacts like Bone Saw, Claws of Gix, Zuran Orb, or Welding Jar have found their niches. But that's half the issue; There's no reason to run an awful 0 mana artifact like Gustha's Scepter, Delif's Cone, or Dark Sphere when there are better options out there. Even Darksteel Relic has more of a niche than most of those.

[@kft4626]

How does the Apocalypse Chime affect those cards that are originally printed at Homelands and get reprinted later and the card's holder is not using the Homelands version? Will they still get destroyed?

[@lseths]

The errata clarifies it: "Destroy all nontoken permanents with a name originally printed in the Homelands expansion." So they will be destroyed.

[@kft4626]

@@lseths Thank you. And I guess there is no card in the set that is a reprint of previous card right?

[@thetrinketmage]

9:57 I do love terrible trinkets like this card!

[@raynmanshorts9275]

Razor Boomerang's flavor is actually pretty awful, depending on how you look at it. From an out of universe perspective, the card _itself_ is the boomerang, which is fitting. But in-universe, the boomerang just disappears into the planeswalker's mind? Which doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

[@urza1alpha]

See back when it was printed more people played aladins lamp to animate it more than to use it's ability. A 10/10 that you couldn't use terror on(the main and 1 of only a few creature removal at the time) was pretty much unkillable at the time.

[@originalwolf8297]

The Obelisk of Undoing is not so bad. Think about having cheap artifact mana sources like Moxes and Sol Ring or Mana Crypt and such. You tap all of them, get whatever mana you need, pay the Obelisk and take all of them to your hand to play them again. It would be an incedibly strong Storm engine at your disposal. Just like Paradoxial Outcome.

[@yummines]

Commander brainrot made me think that North Star would actually be pretty fun to use with Mana Geyser but I re-read the card and realized it only works for a single spell. At that point if you have that much mana and can't cast a single spell that's just straight up bad deckbuilding.

[@squee147]

Challenge accepted. I will build an artifact deck which will win by flinging these artifacts at my opponents face.

[@kufkzxkxzvkdvkxz]

LED would have been on this list when it was printed. Enter Yawgmoth’s Will and Tendrils of Agony…

[@Pfisiar22]

what about the Lucky Charms? aka, Crystal Rod? Aladdin's RIng and Lamp at least do something that could be useful. The lucky charms are one time triggers to pay 1 to gain 1 life. And what's worse, is that they didn't fall out of print until 9th edition.

[@p111SC]

I've seen Razor Boomerang being used as an infinite outlet in EDH (back when Paradox Engine was legal)

[@JFlynn1207]

Flavor text on all these old cards goes so hard

[@123silverslash]

There’s some really niche application of some of these, but it’s really funny how they added stipulations to nerf what would have been stuff you couldn’t even use in draft environments. Like, I could see razor pendulum being an alright sideboard card into deaths shadow decks, but the fact that it’s symmetrical AND only starts at 5 or less life instead of something more reasonable like 10, why would you play it over anything else?

[@zanrakey4140]

Razor Pendulum arguably has a home in Auntie Blyte decks.

[@cjfeinberg7613]

Please have a commander clash challenge, where you are only allowed to win using one of the cards on these worst lists.

[@jamesj5928]

Cladding lamp in a river song deck is actually a idea as you can set up your next turns

[@designationzero9979]

Obelisk of Undoing + Stasis was a thing back in the day. It was viable as late as Legends. There wasn't another good 2 card combo for Stasis back then (Instill Energy + Birds of Paradise + Stasis). So, the card is bad due to power creep, but back in the day is was a thing until Time Elemental. Also, Aladdin's Lamp was not great, but for its day it made it into decks. I myself activated it a handful of times when I was desperate for a draw engine.

[@PlagueBlossom8891]

Been in two games recently where juju bubble and Aladdin's lamp would have been the difference on the win. Over taxed my life to 1, had 2 mana left, had just enough to block everything my opponent could throw at me, but conceded because I lost 1 life on my turns upkeep 😅 Aladdin's lamp would have helped me hit my wincon. Did I learn to pay attention that day? Absolutely not 😂 still a total glass cannon. A magnificent, mono white, glass cannon. 😂😂😂

[@OdinMagnus]

Obelisk is "own" not "control." So if someone steals your Delusions of Grandeur you can bounce it back to your hand. They lose 20, you gain 20. Win win. It's also good if you have specific win con that gets stolen. But this was all way back in the day. The enchantment you showed was "you control" which does make it much worse, erratic portal would be better than that.

[@syrelian]

Obelisk is "that you cast", which is even more restrictive because it means things cheat onto the field are untargetable

[@OdinMagnus]

@syrelian I just checked the oracle text and it's worse now. Only works on stuff you own and control.

[@dennisgore2416]

the obelisk was expensive but with stasis it stopped decks in their tracks

[@toolittletoolate]

RIGHT! Aladdin's Ring is a fucking MONO ARTIFACT. That means they HAVE TO TAP TO ACTIVATE. You couldn't even use it again if you wanted to without untapping it. If it didn't have to tap it would just be another Walking Ballista or Goblin Cannon.

[@iNCoMpeTeNtplAyS]

Juju bubble makes a great mox ruby proxy at least

[@whaleofdarkness]

How does Arcum Sleigh even work in multiplayer? You don't know who the defending player is until the declare attacker phase when the creature is already tapped.

[@manuelito1233]

Easy, multiplayer was never a consideration when these older cards were made,

[@funkydiscogod]

It doesn't work. The current wording means it does literal nothing, even in single player. There will be no "defending player" until the attackers are declared, and by then, it's too late to give a creature vigilance.

[@IzzetNilson]

​@@funkydiscogod yeh its wild. I hear that the way the stack worked was very different back in the day, so idk if its able to work at all with the modern changes that were made

[@cherry9787]

​@@IzzetNilson According to Oracle, "Target creature gains vigilence until end of turn. Activate only during combat and only if defending player controls a snow land". Uh...gaining vigilence doesn't do anything if you're already tapped attacking lmfao

[@INTstincts]

@@cherry9787 @funkydiscogod it actually does, relevant rule is 506.2 and 506.2a (802) CR506.2: "...During the combat phase of a two-player game, the nonactive player is the defending player; that player and planeswalkers they control may be attacked." So in 1v1, your opponent is the "defending player" as soon as combat starts, so you can use this during the "Beginning of Combat" step before attackers are declared. CR506.2a: "During the combat phase of a multiplayer game, there may be one or more defending players, depending on the variant being played and the options chosen for it... See rule 802, “Attack Multiple Players Option". CR802.2: "As the combat phase starts, the attacking player doesn’t choose an opponent to become the defending player. Instead, all the attacking player’s opponents are defending players during the combat phase." CR802.2a: "Any rule, object, or effect that refers to a “defending player” refers to one specific defending player, not to all of the defending players... If there are multiple defending players that could be chosen, the controller of the spell or ability chooses one." So in multiplayer, since you need to use this before the creature is declared as an attacker, there is no default "defending player" determined by the attacking creature's target, so the controller of the ability (you) gets to choose one. Or in other words, it works if ANY of your opponents have a snow land.

[@Jlizard27]

You won’t be laughing at Aladdin’s Lamp when it flips Tamiyo turn 11!

[@TransformersBoss]

Let’s see… cast Ulamog, cast Aladdin’s Lamp… cast Ulamog, or Aladdin’s Lamp… but Ulamog doesn’t give me card-selection!

[@al8188]

I am experimenting with North Star in a Rasputin Dreamweaver deck. Rasputin goes infinite with a ham sandwich, which means no one lets him hang around, so I've been trying an infiniteless build to use him to cast big mana spells lol Its not good.