My 5 BIGGEST MISTAKES Marrying Into the British Aristocracy

It hasn't been plain sailing as an American Viscountess, and I've been known to make some pretty serious faux pas! From who to talk to at a dinner party, to identifying the correct architectural style of an historic house, life in the aristocracy is a minefield!
---------
Be sure to subscribe to my channel for more great content, with two videos per week, and hit the notifications bell so that you are the first to know when we release new videos.
And if you love this content and want more, do check out the American Viscountess Patreon community. / americanviscountess . Lots of updates, goodies and live Q&A's.
You can also follow me on Facebook and Instagram.
/ juliemontagu
/ americanviscountess
/ juliemontagu

[@AmericanViscountess]

If you'd like to access these videos earlier, and help support the production costs of the films we make, head to www.patreon.com/americanviscountess

[@suzyq6767]

I think you mentioned a patreon where you do yoga and talk about inspirational books. Is that a thing?

[@angr3819]

Having just seen your video on 1930s dresses and accessories, I wonder if you lived in a different body during that time? Reincarnation? You seem to have a real fondness for the era, which is sometimes an indication.

[@Smileygld123]

I finally started seeing your Royal commentaries. Thanks for speaking up for the Duchess of Sussex in the early days while she was still working in the RF. I agree with your assessment.

[@bjbutton57]

Just remember at the end of the day, NONE OF THIS IS GOING TO MATTER WHEN YOU STAND BEFORE YAH/GOD.👍🏼🕊️❤️

[@lauraleefeist8811]

I'll never forget my biggest mistake living in Scotland. I was 18 and living in a residence for school. The collective gasp in the dining hall when I picked up fried chicken and ate it with my hands was deafening. The fact that no one believed me when I tried to explain that this was perfectly fine to do in Canada still bothers me a little. I'm 53 now. It was intense. So well done to you for learning all that.

[@vjhreeves]

Eating a fried chicken drumstick with a fork and knife sounds ridiculously difficult.

[@diane9247]

Oooh, I feel for you, Laura! 🍗🤨

[@vetgmacatmomfl2055]

If you don't eat fried chicken with your hands in America you look like an idiot. So for North America what you did was actually normal.

[@candyboyer]

Same thing happened to me when I first moved to West Germany years ago and picked up a piece of pizza to eat with my hands. The whole restaurant went SILENT 😄

[@mojgandarabian262]

@@candyboyer 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@jartotable]

Taking turns, from left to right, to talk to your fellow guests is my favourite because its practical. Stops cliques and patches of guests who have no one to talk to. That's why invited guests should always be equal in numbers.

[@monicafiore20]

You just took the words from my head...I couldn't agree more.

[@rena6895]

Agree!

[@lindafleming3907]

It also helps if one doesn’t talk with one’s hands, frantic gesticulation leads to indigestion. 😂

[@Print229]

But what happens if you invite an even number but an odd number shows up? Also, do you sit next to your spouse?

[@eirintowne]

@@Print229 Proper etiquette is to never place married people next to each other, since they are assumed to talk to each other quite enough outside of formal dinners (but often quite close to one another, due to their equal status), and always place engaged coupled together. If you are just dating, not formally taken, it is considered in everyone's best interest that you receive input from other eligible partners until the day comes when you announce that you have made your match.

[@KatD2024]

Yes! Yes! More about architecture! I hate how we (in the US) have torn down so many beautiful and historic buildings and homes. So sad.

[@BoudicasMom]

I completely agree. One of my biggest reasons for wanting to visit the UK & Europe is the magnificent architecture. I am of Scot, Irish & British descent & am a member of a still functioning Scottish clan, with a castle & an estate.

[@MTknitter22]

In many other countries too, not just England and in the U.S.

[@susanlilley-rizos9906]

You are such a breath of fresh air and adorable. You’re not a snob at all, so many Americans become more English than the english. I love the cute way you refer to the silly mistakes you make. Your husband must be a wise man to recognize such a jewel as you.

[@fedupnow61859]

I see you as a woman that had no idea what living an aristocratic life fully entailed. But your love of your husband and your new found land made you want to immerse yourself into the history and to try to be the best as you can be for the traditions of the land. I married a German , I am from Ct. and Fla in the USA. I love the traditions that my ancestors had and love to keep them going. Plus you are down to earth, friendly and funny.

[@Print229]

The big culture shock for me as an American in the UK was realizing just how many people alive today grew up in boarding schools from age 7 onward -especially boys. It boggles my mind to think of sending my seven year old son away. When I expressed this to an elderly gentleman, once, he said, "Oh, my dear, you absolutely would have sent him away because if you didn't *everyone* would have told you what a bad mother you were." Knowing how many children grew up with absent mothers has helped me to better understand everything.

[@doncook2054]

Wow; just ... wow ... a continual lost generation....

[@Rozewolf]

We lived in England for 10 years, and my sons all had etiquette classes for table manners. If they didn't use their silverware correctly, they had to sit at a different table to be mentored. One of the teachers actually pulled me aside to explain what should be done to correct their horrid table manners. To this day, I still eat with the fork in the left hand, knife in my right. So do some of my sons.

[@joannerupinskas5613]

Lived in Harrogate for two years and had to learn many of these formalities. I knew some of them but was grateful to attend a cultural course to help ease any deficiencies. Ended up having tea with the Queen’s cousin and these etiquette tips came in quite handy. I am fond of the formalities and rather liked building my skill base. Enjoy your videos and your journey into the aristocratic way of life. Thank you for sharing

[@joannerupinskas5613]

@John Ashtone it was actually his father. We lived in Harrogate 1994-1996. I am certain it is a splendid place to volunteer. Such beauty abounds and the family was so pleasant and interesting. I hope to return one day.

[@anneterry3660]

Manners help lubricate social situations.

[@Digeroo123]

I do not really think of those things as mistakes more a set of learning curves. I do commend your willingness to learn and your enthusiasm for learning. Knowing the periods of houses is very difficult because many were built over quite a long period of time. Many a later house, has a tudor farm house lurking inside. I enjoy visiting National Trust houses, and love it when they have a tour below stairs. Often down into a much older part of the house.

[@lasleyArt]

Visiting my English relatives one summer as a teenager was a true cultural experience. I was not allowed to chew gum, told it was very low class and not Ok, lol. When I dressed to go to royal ascot, I was promptly told to change, lol. My sleeveless dress was not acceptable, lol. I did finally get my dress right with the appropriate pairing of gloves and hat. Overall a wonderful experience.

[@womensarmycorpsveteran2904]

I can relate. I had a boss in New Zealand that was from England. It drove her absolutely crazy when I chewed gum and made me spit it out every time she caught me. I was trying to quit smoking and chewing the nicotine gum so I wouldn’t get cranky.

[@lynnslosson5937]

I would very much like some more in-depth discussion of the architecture, especially Tudor vs Elizabethan ( Queen Elizabeth I was a Tudor, after all!) thank you. This was fun.

[@lisakurak7108]

Not that the ruling monarch has nothing to do with it, but I'm pretty sure the time periods (Tudor, Georgian, Victorian, etc... ) are more about who is on the throne when all the changes are happening (religion, architecture, music, art, etc...)

[@reneejones5675]

Lisa is correct, but the video would be interesting especially seeing other places of specific periods.. theres so many I still have not seen properly

[@mazinwonderland3077]

Please Julie, don`t ever change. You are a breathe of fresh air. We love that you are now `one of us`.

[@margiesoapyhairbillian4754]

Julie is still one of us too! 🇺🇸 I adore that she embraced the British lifestyle! It's beautiful 😍

[@michelealaimo4931]

Tudor period is Henry VII and VIII. Henry VII was Henry Tudor. Henry VI was a Plantagenet. Henry VII was coronated in 1485 which is the beginning of the Tudor period. I am an American obsessed with the British monarchy and I just want you to be accurate with your monarchs :-). Just as an FYI, there were three kings between Henry VI and Henry VII. Edward IV, Edward V (killed with his brother, Richard, as children in the tower) and Richard III. Henry Tudor defeated Richard III on Bosworth Field to become King Henry VII in 1485.

[@sharonothefae]

As a child in Australia growing up we had table place mats with the utensil placements printed on them. It was a good way to teach how to set the table

[@maryokeefe5351]

What a good idea!

[@richenuff01]

As an American, it seems that I was raised with the same protocol in terms of setting a proper table as how Julie described in the UK. There were at least two forks, table and tea spoons, a butter knife and one with sharp edge for cutting. In addition, there were water and wine glasses...but not for children (LOL). The only difference is if at a formal dinner party where the hosts controlled the topic and direction on conversation. I have a friend who grew up in Birmingham, UK who said they only had one fork, knife, and water glass. Wine was not served at dinner.

[@richardlahan7068]

As an American, I would certainly take etiquette classes in order to not embarrass myself or insult my host by not taking the time to educate and prepare myself.

[@mbmacdonald8429]

Tiffany’s Table Manners and Emily Post Etiquette books cover most of the situations encountered. Waiters and waitresses are occasionally required to know formal silver service at upscale restaurants and clubs on the US East Coast. Art and Architecture classes at some schools, universities and museums are also helpful.

[@suzannes5888]

Yes, on the West Coast too - and both large cities across the US, and the deep South. I grew up in Phoenix/Scottsdale, Arizona area. We had to learn all of this and also how it applies to different types of events and ensuring household staff understood not only proper/formal white glove service and place settings - in addition to a demonstrated understanding of protocols and customs and courtesies. You also must know all the above - and the customs and courtesies (and taboos) of various foreign governments - if you are an official for the US government in foreign service, or at an embassy. It also applies to those in a ceremonial/ senior leadership positions (or serving as senior staff) within any component of the Department of Defense. Various federal agencies, in the Executive and Legislative branches, also have Senior Protocol Officers that specialize in either certain types of events and/or countries.

[@thomasgansevoort929]

Have you read 'Miss Manners', she is wonderful making it all accurate and fun. Her lesson on eating asparagus is informative and absolutely delightful.

[@chizzieshark]

The table etiquette / setting the table issue isn't one of US vs UK culture, but social class. Most ordinary Brits wouldn't be able to tell soup spoon from a dessert spoon. But from what I understand, in both the US and UK (and also other British colonies), the upper class are trained in table etiquette.

[@la_scrittice_vita]

I agree. Educated Americans also know basic architecture labels and history, and what Georgian compared to Victorian furniture or silver look like.

[@carolinemcnulty6169]

Sorry to disagree but my parents were northern, working class but still managed to teach their children proper table etiquette, including soup and dessert spoons.

[@mrsrbrown540]

Every one has told me that I am very beautiful and very wonderful and very friendly and very most elegant lady. I know different between soup spoon and dessert spoon 🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰

[@angr3819]

I don't know about today but I was taught about cutlery. A soup spoon is circular. Fish knives have blunt blades with pointed ends. Egg Spoons are tiny and maybe today a lot of people would think they were for small children, or for sugar. Knowing which cutlery to use was considered a sign of having been taught manners by many working class families too. As I mentioned though, I don't know about today. I doubt so many know to start a meal with the cutlery the furthest from the plate and that the water finger bowl isn't soup. Naturally left handed the one thing I still cannot manage is to eat with a knife in my right hand. Whenever I have tried the food has soon flown everywhere. So I always discreetly swapped the knife and fork into opposite hands.

[@myriamickx7969]

Chizzie, I may surprise you: even in continental Europe, we are taught in table etiquette.

[@reneestuckyneale1599]

I am born and raised in California, my British husband and I live in San Diego but have visited England on occasion. I can see where you are coming from in the differences between how most middle and upper class Brits are brought up and we middle class, and many upper class that haven’t attended finishing school, here in America are brought up. My husband says that he thinks that my family must have lost most of our cutlery on our migration west. My family were mostly from very early emigrants to America on the Mayflower, to Jamestown, and New Amsterdam, so we have been here a long time. And my families also migrated very early across the United States ending up in California between the gold rush and 1930s. I didn’t go to private school, but attended public school. Most of the people I know who observe the more European way of living were those that went to some select private schools and finishing schools.

[@mellie5899]

Your family history sounds similar to mine. My family came to America ten years after the Mayflower to New Amsterdam and the Massachusett's Bay Colony. And they came to California in the 1850's. In a genealogy class I took the professor taught that whenever there are two people with early colonial roots chances are they're related somewhere because there were so few people here back then.

[@jgrib6102]

Hahahaa , lost most of the cutlery moving west.

[@zelda_kelly]

This reminds me of a time I was required to speak to a banker in London. I am in the finance business and answers were needed on a particular project for some clients of ours. I am American and was always delighted to speak with anyone in the UK. This particular time I was not happy with the answers I received so I questioned the banker probably a little more than I should have. After my quest to resolve the issues we were having, the banker put down the phone and was talking to someone else about our situation. She then proceeded to say, “oh, yes, it’s that pushy American again.” I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry lol but I chose to laugh. To this day I am especially mindful to not be that pushy American and approach things with a more gentile disposition. I’ll always remember that lol. Thank you for these videos!

[@kathleenmckenzie6261]

Ah, yes, I lived in England for nearly a year and there is definitely a difference in etiquette. In America, it's common to follow up on questions when seeking information; not so in England. I was also labeled "a pushy American" when I felt I was simply following up. In seeing articles about Meghan Markle's "horrible bullying," it's easy to believe it was a simple matter of staff steeped in ancient customs of etiquette being confronted for the first time with American directness and expectations of efficiency. It was a no-win situation for the Duchess of Sussex.

[@MTknitter22]

@Z Kelly, my British husband just read your comment and he laughed and said, it is also quite possible that your intelligent questioning made some pompous males uncomfortable! He said also remember it’s quite common to simply criticize Americans and please never let it bother you too much. kindest regards.

[@PsychicZeldaKelly]

@@MTknitter22 That's very kind of him. Thank you and it's also hilarious!

[@lmgtulsa]

Wow. Sounds like a lifetime of learning and trying desperately not to make any crazy mistakes. The subject of your masters sounds so interesting and a topic most Americans would never bore of. I know I wouldn’t.

[@chrisbeckstrom6182]

I'm also a Midwesterner and when I moved to New York to study fashion design, I had to get used to all the cheek kissing greetings that are customary among designers. It seemed like a faux pas to engage in that type of greeting when I came back home. Regarding polite architectural talk at a dinner party in the UK, have you ever had the opportunity to discuss Prairie (Organic) Architecture, introduced by Frank Lloyd Wright?

[@bookmouse2719]

Oh I love Frank Lloyd Wright.

[@thinkmirror8507]

FLW part of the cabal, very evil man.

[@LauraPosse]

I’m from South Florida and here we do one cheek kiss on the right side. My husband is from Ohio and the first time I went to visit one of the things that stressed me out a little was how to greet people. I was worried I’d go for a a cheek kiss on autopilot and look like a total weirdo 😂.

[@arcturianstarport8949]

@@thinkmirror8507 I did NOT know that. Very interesting.

[@NeonNecropolis92]

I studied in the UK and "[are you] all right?" as a greeting always caught me off guard. In America it means it looks like something is wrong with you.

[@pheart2381]

I'm from the u.k. and when someone sais"see you" as a way of saying goodbye I find it distracting. Of course they arnt going to "see me" if I am leaving! God knows how foreigners manage.

[@sallyannc3176]

@@pheart2381 ha ha - it's a shortened version of 'see you later'!

[@MTknitter22]

Yes! @Lauren Byers My Yorkshire SIL had quite a time stopping herself from saying that when she moved to Switzerland. She was looked at as if she had something wrong with her!!!

[@auntiesophiasays7437]

Exactly!! It took me FOREVER to figure out why everyone was so concerned for my welfare. LOL

[@victoriaoliver9958]

This was so interesting! I especially liked hearing about how, at a dinner party, the hostess dictates which side you talk to. FYI, the pop-up words for Edwardian period says "Victorian" again, in case that's easy to change.

[@MTknitter22]

Julie. THE UK IS DEFINITELY BLESSED TO HAVE YOU

[@terri-annemcsweeney3451]

I loved this video. You make me smile so much. Being from Australia I would probably call you Julie and give you a hug. You are just the type of person I would love to be friends with❤️

[@christinejones8566]

Hiya, as an American living in the UK also, my favourite two things I love to learn is about history & the architecture here. My husband says I know more about the UK's history & buildings than he ever did growing up here! I would love to see more content of architecture and am fascinated that there's a Masters you could get for that course. This is why we are National Trust members but I'm very interested in Historical House membership too. Thanks Julie and all, for your channel. 😄

[@richenuff01]

LOL... I've been told the same thing by my English friends. I grew up near Valley Forge, Pennsylvania and many of the locals aren't that knowledgeable in terms of what occurred there 250 years ago. Guess anything close by loses importance. LO

[@sandie157]

Following on this comment, I too am fascinated by the idea of the Masters you are doing Julie. Which university is it at? I had no idea one could do that. Was it a subject you proposed to them? I'd love a video about your studies . Do you think that would be an episode idea you would llike to pursue. I thimk there would be a lot of interest from other audience members too.

[@richenuff01]

As a history buff of architecture my entire life, I always had a keen eye for different periods of houses and styles. When learning the history of our American Revolutionary War, it is taught that after the War of Independence, the period known as Georgian became the Federal Period. This was a step towards creating an American description and leaning away from the English influence. The styles didn't change that much, but the colonies looked at interior designs from France and Germany that was referred to as Rococo or Late Baroque Period.

[@rosemarielee7775]

I love to think of all the wives down the centuries rushing to tell their friends about their super modern home improvements. "A water pump! In the kitchen! No more standing in the yard for me!" " Oh these builders! When will they have finished the new facade! I can't wait to be rid of that old fashioned brick and timber!'

[@michaelevans1193]

Living near a colonial East Coast city, I was exposed to the Georgian style architecture as compared to the Federalist style (symmetrical vs asymmetrical).

[@richenuff01]

I grew up in a town that was established in 1752 in Pennsylvania, and the founder was a true Loyalist. As all proper gentry, he named the streets and roads after the monarch and areas of Wales and England. He built his home in the true Georgian style, as well as commercial buildings. I was told that after War Of Independence, the colonies...now states...renamed the period as Federal to distance from English tradition. The styles still practiced and symmetry, e.g. five-part Georgian, but now called Federal Style.

[@anacosta5635]

Absolutely, what a treat to learn more about the different architecture periods and see examples. Thanks Julie, for this introduction. Love your honesty about watching everyone else start to eat before picking up the correct cutlery.. I’ve done that too 😂!

[@johndriscoll3933]

I would like to learn more about Country House architecture. Managing table service sounds daunting (grabbing the wrong fork and all that). .

[@rhondamartin3575]

My family history actually goes to all of these periods of history! Henry VIII is my 14th Great Uncle; Queen Elizabeth is my 11th cousin; The Stuart's, Tudors, Robert II is my 16th Great Grandfather; King Edward III my 17th Great Grandfather, etc.! I love our family history! It's amazing! It's so interesting to learn! I love the traditions and ceremony, the Baroque music, etc.!!! Thank you Julie!

[@haplessdilettante]

The Monetgus of Beaulieu in the New Forest? Must be fascinating to acquire a title (I'm a fellow yank and I've long fancied a Marquesate, but i doubt there's much call for new marcher lords, let alone from among foreign ex-colonials). Much enjoyment in sharing your experiences vicariously, so thank you.

[@szendrich]

The table etiquette and the cheek-kissing as a form of polite greeting isn't just an aristocratic thing, you know. It's more of a British practice. My country, Malta, was a British colony up until half a century ago, and we have exactly the same British social practices at table and in greeting. Well, most of our mannerisms, actually, including the way we speak and write the English language. We never hug here either! 😊It's not considered polite unless you're intimate with a person. I did live in the US for a few years and I used to find the table etiquette confusing and actually very laborious compared to our ways. Because it's as you say, in America you hold the fork in your left while cutting, but you then change over and pick up the food pieces with the fork in your right hand. I used to think it very strange because they followed this method with every bite. Our way is much simpler, I think, because you keep the fork in the same hand all through the course. Then again, that's what makes culture so diverse.

[@danabuck6461]

Actually, in the US the fork/knife issue is not a right hand to cut food, then switch fork to right hand to eat thing. It is a dominant hand thing. As in use your dominant hand to cut the food, then bring your fork to the dominant hand to eat. Not everyone is right hand dominant.

[@szendrich]

@@danabuck6461 Interesting observation. Thanks for that titbit, Dana.

[@amazinggrace5692]

And in general in the states you can eat any way that you re comfortable with. I don’t know about high society, but with everyday dining choose either method. I’ve always thought the one hand for knife and one for fork to be convenient, but it looks like it’s easy to speed eat and put the mouth with the tines of the fork down looks less classy to me. But to each is owned the idea is that all are welcome at the table. Except those who chew with their. mouth open. You have to eat alone in the kitchen lol. 💕🐝🇺🇸☃️

[@szendrich]

@@amazinggrace5692 Sorry, etiquette is not really about feeling comfortable, although when you're used to eating our way, it's very comfortable indeed. 😃 Yes, tines of the fork facing down at the mouth is considered well-mannered in our neck of the woods, while the tines facing up is not. As they say, "When in Rome ..." and all that, so it's acceptable for an American in America to eat at their most comfortable, while in Europe, it is advisable to choose etiquette over comfort if you want to be socially acceptable.

[@AGL01772]

I can relate to fork issue. I'm American and lived in London for 4 years. You could always tell the Americans by how they used their utensils.

[@surfingtheoceanoftheinterwebs]

I have to say, with all the rules of a dinner party (tableware, speaking to the person next to you) which sounds VERY daunting (many of us here in the US (I'm in CA) still have problems at more simplified but formal dinners like banquets with more than one plate and glass 😂), I'd be inclined to just throw a pizza party--all hands on deck and mingle! LOL This was a fun video!

[@patriciacinea3097]

Just found your Vlog last week and trying to catch up binge watching....saw your vintage dresses episode. If you haven't already, I would love to know more about millinery in Great Britain. Seems to have faded decades ago in the U. S. Would love to see women wearing beautiful hats again here.

[@melissaphillips3088]

I would love to hear more of this Julie. It was wonderful and such a learning experience for me. Thanks Julie !!

[@AmericanViscountess]

More to come!

[@joannortham5517]

Julie - I really love your videos and have watched most of them since you began posting. Getting to know you and Luke, your children and your in-laws has been such a treat. Your situation puts me in mind of a book I have read many times, written by an American and published during WWII. It was a huge hit with the reading public both here in Britain and in America, and Churchill commended it along with the black and white film, "Mrs Miniver" starring Greer Garson and Walter Pidgeon, released to boost morale during the war. The book is Alice Duer Miller's "The White Cliffs", and if you haven't read it, I hope you will, and that you resonate with the story she tells of a young American, Susan Dunne, meeting her match, marrying and settling in England on the verge of the First World War. It moves me to tears every time I read it - I guess I'm an old (78 yrs) sentimentalist. The story moves to WWII from WWI, and takes in the country manor in Devon, and the Lady Jean, Susan's mother in law, and a simply charming letter from Susan's American father, when he learns she is marrying an Englishman! Oh, and don't worry - you can get a copy on Amazon. Thanks again for showing us your beautiful Mapperton.

[@lynda.grace.14]

So impressed to gain a deeper understanding as to why you are doing your Masters in your chosen subject. As for your "serious faux pas" none are particularly significant in the sense that they are basically errors common to the acculturation process. You didn't have an education in this arena and now you are getting one. Exactly like learning anything. When people first learn to walk (or anything else they need or choose to learn), they don't really consider continuously landing on their diaper a "faux pas." It's merely an unavoidable part of the process of knowledge or skill acquisition. Any faux pas (IMHO) are on the part of nit-picking individuals who would choose to sneer at or shame someone else who is learning. Those who must establish their own "superiority" by looking down their noses at others who are "not quite our sort." Well done, you!

[@MTknitter22]

Well-said @Lynda Grace, as some have said, being an aristocrat does not entitle you to rudeness or looking down on others. Character and kindness is for everyone in any setting.

[@lynda.grace.14]

@@MTknitter22 Gosh! I think Jane Austen had something to say on that very point in Pride & Prejudice.

[@C.E.A.B.]

Etiquette is just really about good manners

[@VulcanTrekkie45]

The useful thing to remember architecture-wise is that Stuart/Georgian basically is the same time period as Colonial and Federalist in America, and then we can go from there

[@lj5801]

American flatware: Off the top of my head I can come up with 20 individual place pieces (not counting serving pieces) in Reed & Barton's Francis I sterling from 1907 - not counting a possible further 3 if they made terrapin forks, game forks and game knives like other manufacturers of the time (I have personally never seen these in this pattern). 3 of these can be eliminated at a meal as you would not need a bouillon, a gumbo and an oval soup spoon or both a tea and a coffee spoon at the same time. America made way more silver pieces than the British, and this is not counting the pieces made for breakfast, lunch and children. You skipped two styles: William & Mary and Regency.

[@goodegiggles]

My favorite flatware I have from my Grandmother are her set of iced tea spoons.

[@designsonyouinparis]

Viscountess Lady Julie, I have been a fan of you since “Ladies of London”. You are a true asset to your family and everyone around you. In addition, so industrious, hard working, a wonderful & supportive spouse and incredible mother to six children if my memory serves me right. I honestly don’t know how you do it all and, so perfectly.

[@itsmewende]

The chatting at the dinner table, can't imagine what they'd think sitting at the table here in the states. Everyone talking to everyone, beside you, across from you, down the table from you, yeah can't imagine. Best wishes learning about all the architectural styles.

[@anitajinfla9762]

Yep.... Hating to interrupt mid conversation...Asking across the table and 5 people down to pass the salt!! LOL 😅

[@itsmewende]

@@anitajinfla9762 ....exactly =^)

[@AuroraChernobyl]

From all the architectural styles in Great Britain, it is Georgian which I love the most. Because it seems to me that it represents the features of most of the European palaces and essential buildings, which quite complicated to me to understand about how different it is the Georgian with Rococco style. But I also really like Queen Anne style, it's like pretty doll houses, neat and so feminine.

[@americaguillen9583]

Julie, you are an amazing woman. Your enthusiasm and energy is extraordinary. God bless you and Luke.

[@bookmouse2719]

When my Son married a girl who's Mother's family were more 'European' I had to get use to what I described as 'air kissing'. lol it's not that you made a mistake, it's that it's just culture shock. It still is culture shock for me.

[@cherylcooper2739]

Yes, I’m married to an architect and love the beautiful British buildings and the wide range of styles. Please give us a lesson. I ❤️ love ❤️ your videos!

[@pamelareed973]

It’s amazing all the traditions- that sounds like a great course to take , I would love to do something like that !! I love old houses and their history..

[@platosphaedo9097]

I learned at a very early age how to set a very formal table and proper etiquette. This was for our special and formal family occasions as well as dining out. Thank you for bringing me down memory lane. My adoptive family’s heritage was English and Scottish. My birth father’s family heritage was Italian. The different family dynamics (communication styles etc.) was quite interesting to see the cultural differences while all being Americans. Your videos are a pleasure. Much respect to you for learning and embracing, having a sense of humor about yourself and it all; rather than complaining.

[@jlpack62]

As an American with many, many years of eating casually like an American, the whole dining experience would completely stress me out!

[@pamkalexander]

Good God...........such pretentious nonsense. Perhaps we just relate to each other as one human to another? Not all traditions continue to hold value

[@PLuMUK54]

I'm a Brit and I've never been to a meal that formal. Very few people do. So if we were to be in the unfortunate position of having to attend, we would also be stressed.

[@sallyannc3176]

@@PLuMUK54 you're right, few do but I still think it looks better manners to east with a knife and fork than cut it all up and then shovel it in with the fork! It's also helpful to know that when you've finished eating you place the knife and fork together on the plate - whereas if you leave them crossed on the plate waiting staff know you haven't finished eating and don't star clearing away.

[@sknap2728]

I learned that you do not cut all your food up at once. You would use the knife to cut a bite, angle the knife tip on the plate, switch hands (dominant hand) to eat the bite. When you are finished, the knife and fork are placed onto the plate...similarly to how Julie showed except there is nothing specific about the fork tines, and your napkin moved from your lap to the side of your plate. If you needed to leave the table, but weren't finished eating, your napkin remained on your seat. Generally, the knife and fork were on the plate on opposite sides.

[@chizzieshark]

This isn't an American thing though, it's a class thing. The upper crust in the States have just as many table manners and use just as much cutlery as the British aristocracy.

[@estheroertel3263]

You might want to correct the graphic for the Edwardian Era. It currently says "Victorian" for the period 1901-1910.

[@kimberlyperrotis8962]

Henry VI is not a Tudor, they start with Henry VII. A fellow American, I learned all these aspects of English culture from reading classic English novels when I was a child, then histories and books on English architecture and decor. There are many great ones, your local librarian can give you a reading list that will make you more familiar with the traditional, aristocratic culture.

[@jchow5966]

This is soooo interesting! I am an American who loves British Isles history - this channel is a pleasure - thank you so much! ☮️💟

[@AmericanViscountess]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@marybeebe4293]

Well the One mistake you didn't make was that you could have changed your mind and not Marry into An Aristocracy Family (Well however it is spelled ) it's like your a Blessing on the family and their a Blessing to you You and your husband are like Soul Mates ❤️ your both so Down To Earth and for what the world is going through your KZbin channel let's people forget about all the bad stuff for awhile and get back to basics at least for me anyway so Thank You for that 💕

[@joannecollis1543]

Wow Julie what a lot to have to remember in all aspects. I live in Australia and I'm a hugger as well. I have had to learn that some people are not huggers but most of my friends are. I love the fact that you are really down to earth and even though you could given your title, you don't put on airs and graces. You are just you. Brilliant.

[@sandraabshire4923]

Some of these are “mistakes” many English people would make too especially as we don’t all have everyday contact with the aristocracy!! Very enjoyable video but with one little error as you said the Edwardian era was 1901-1910 but the onscreen label said it was Victorian!!

[@richenuff01]

I have friends who were raised in England and Ireland, and they didn't practice the same protocol as English Aristocracy, either.

[@sharone9751]

I grew up in the Chicago suburbs and we had Dutch au pairs for many years and from them I learned "continental" style eating (fork in left, knife in right). It served me well when our family lived in Belgium for a few years and now I prefer it.

[@spoosieoopsie1616]

My dad had been in the USN and stationed for one tour in Japan. He taught my younger sister and I how to eat with only our left hand. When I later went to Germany (my husband was US Army) and went out to eat, no one believed that I was American! I was told that Americans are not polite because they take SO long to eat. In a busy restaurant, I could understand why.

[@lizajoymorales248]

@@spoosieoopsie1616 Come to Spain, where lunch is two hours or so and a Friday night dinner can last until midnight (of course, it starts late by US standards, around 9 o'clock or so).

[@spoosieoopsie1616]

@@lizajoymorales248 Sounds yummy! There's a little Guatemalan restaurant near where I live. My husband and I eat there frequently. They don't expect customers to "eat and run." We always chat during our meal so it can last quite a while! (Not three hours but longer than most Americans would take. We make sure to leave a slightly larger tip, since they didn't run us out! 🤗)

[@rociogb9889]

I love this kind of videos that explain etiquette. Thank you.

[@pammiedoodle8693]

Thoroughly enjoyed this episode!👍🏼 So interesting and fun to learn some of the history and traditions of Great Britain. Thanks for sharing😊

[@venusward5911]

Discovered your channel recently and really enjoy it a lot. I was introduced to the British way of eating when I lived in Swaziland for 10 years. I have been back in the Central US for over 30 years but still use both hands to eat much of the time. Just watched your video on the architecture of England. Your delineation of the time periods makes sense to me as I've been learning more about British history. I also enjoy your dialog with your "partners" when you discuss cultural and language differences. It is fun to identify what part of the world people come from when I hear them speaking English, particularly when they are from Africa. Keep up the good work.

[@deannaevans5235]

I very much enjoyed hearing what mistakes you had made in your early years of being a Viscountess. In college I dated a young man who was French but grew up here in the States. I remember having dinner with them and not serving (helping) the right course in the correct order. LOL! I don't believe they liked me much! His mother did make the best cucumber salad I have every had. No idea how she made it though. Thank you for sharing your experiences.

[@cathyfeigert5660]

This was both interesting and confusing to me at the same time. Kudos to you, I’d still be scrambling to understand it all. You are such a doll!

[@heatherboo1]

I absolutely would love a discussion of architecture! It’s such a rich history and to imagine what these homes have seen!

[@betsomo4807]

Wow, first time of seeing you, great fun, thank you, love seeing our quirky customs through the eyes of another culture! Can't stop laughing about the different historical house styles at your own manor - you're way ahead of the pack on that. Not sure I'd realised Elizabethan is distinct from Tudor! 😂😂

[@MarianDouglasUngaro]

Interesting, @americanviscountess. I’m definitely “American”- (ethnic) Black American, from the USA. And I’m not familiar with actually hugging persons whom one has just met, or barely met. My husband was an Italian diplomat, as his father before him. Recently my husband passed away, so, I am coping with transformation. Am in Italy. Look forward to my next visit to UK. Very best regards from Italia! 🌳🌳🌳

[@maryokeefe5351]

Most interesting! I'd love to hear more about the peculiarities of aristocratic language (I am Canadian). I have visited friends in the UK with country houses, some lovely and others quite run down and even mouldy. Some of the expressions people use are funny to my ears, e.g. "Well done you" instead of a simple "Well done"; Thank you very much indeed" instead of just "Thank you", etc. Have you had to adjust your vocabulary at all to make yourself understood? Really enjoying your channel btw.

[@spiritchannel]

Thank you, Lady Hinchingbrooke for your always uplifting videos! Would LOVE to learn more about the period architecture and furniture! Blessings to you!

[@sr.marycatharineperry6693]

Setting the table and utensils that isn't just UK. We have it, too. In Italy you put the knife standing up in the prongs. I think it's funny that we call all cutlery as "silverware"! The left/right etiquette is a great invention. No one gets ignored. You are a very humble person, 20 years in to still say you make mistakes and have to still learn!

[@Burbankelly]

I have so much respect for you for getting your masters in Country House Studies! (From Texas)

[@L1...]

My words, so much stuff to remember. It reminds me of Princess Diana and how she had issues remembering all this as well. Good for you for getting your masters, when will you be done with your studies? Have you ever considered going to Kipling Hall, it is a fine example of an Jacobean style building. What about the driving style (which side to drive on) in Britain, did you have issues with that when you first went to the UK?

[@janebaker966]

Lady Diana Spencer grew up in a house in Windsor Great Park seeing the Royals out and about everyday,that is when she wasn't packed off by her cold,uncaring Mum to the boarding school she hated. She was brought up to be perfectly au fait with fine dining and the etiquette of posh life. I'm not surprised she had mental health issues as her Mother from what I've read neglected her kids,left Diana to mainly care for her little brother and then did a runner,but she did know "the rules".

[@L1...]

I'm just going by personal interviews she did, where she said there was so much to learn, and no one really helped her.

[@janebaker966]

@@L1... she did rather embrace the "being a vctim" thing but then it is tough to find out you're playing a real life version of Ivor Novellos operetta Kings Rhapsody. And while I'm on it,how come the media (I always blame the media) despite her most impassioned pleas insisted,and continue to insist that we have EVERY RIGHT TO KNOW every tiny last little bit of information about this lot when they stay discreetly respectful and observant of the privacy of Greta Thunberg. I want to see her house,her bicycle,the bus stop she uses,her garden Kl the most tiny insignificant details of HER life or would I maybe find out that she doesn't practise what she preaches? Funny how there is no pictures online of her house etc. I NEED TO KNOW Come on journos get out those long lenses.

[@anitajinfla9762]

Goodness! Thanks for posting this, though I am sure you are on a constant learning curve. Fascinating to hear about the different architectural eras and styles. Love the fact that England has such history and absolutely beautiful places you can see and touch from hundreds of years ago. The designs of homes and out buildings, craftsmanship and hard labour that was put into them being built and fact that SO many are standing stronger today than any new builds. A lot of care and love I'm sure went into many of the homes during those centuries. Not sure which style is my favorite.

[@christinejesson-valore6439]

My parents went to Sicily to visit relatives. They were very hungry so when the antipasto was served, mother thought it was dinner. My parents gorged themselves only to discover that there were many more dishes to come. She kept apologizing, bless her heart. Unfortunately most did not speak English so it fell on mute ears. They did have a cousin come over to translate for them all. Oh, my. . .

[@tammywines7343]

I would be so nervous I would probably try too eat my soup with a salad fork lol. I just found you, believe me we all need a lady such as you in our lives. If I met the Queen I would pass out and wet my pants. The Queen is one of my favorite ladies, now you're in my top 5. I just love your energy. If I met Duchess Catherine i would be so happy, I know my mouth would hang open. I like how Duchess Catherine takes care of Prince William, Princess Diana would be so proud . I love the Tudor Era, I can imagine King Henry the Vlll and his court. English history and the Arosticracy must have been amazing ( well Queen Anne Boyleon is fascinating ) love your videos, I just found your channel.

[@Asterly1]

Thank you for taking the time to make these videos ❤️ I love your videos ❤️ and I love learning about other cultures. I really do appreciate the British culture. So as an American this is super new. Like with which hand to hold the fork and knife, as a lefty I naturally hold my fork in my left hand but that’s so interesting that holding the fork and knives in certain hands are a thing. I look forward to your future videos!

[@shirleynitka5030]

there are no mistakes. Only journeys to get you to who & what you are now. I was watching an older video from Strictly Come Dancing. I noticed a Vicountess named Emma dancing. Have you ever tried it or would you consider doing it? This is so in your wheelhouse. Think about it Julie. You'd have a blast.

[@patmurphy389]

Thank you Julie for educating me! I am sure that people knowing you were american forgave you for any faux paux you made! :)

[@extraordinarywomennextchapter]

Julie, could you tell us more about your master's program studies. It sounds quite interesting! Thank you.

[@sballantine8127]

What about the Regency period?? One hears quite a bit about that for furniture, architecture, clothing and the design of silver to name just a few.

[@andreawashnak630]

I would love to see Elizabethton (sorry if I spelled it wrong) also homes that were in ruins, but are now being restored. Thanks andrea

[@ilenehancock7595]

I think you should give a video and explain how that stove behind you works.

[@suzettekitselman6914]

Thanks for this video Viscountess ! We would LOVE to see more in-depth videos about the historic houses of the United Kingdom ~ yes please! Really enjoying your show :)

[@ItsStillShel]

I’m in the Southernmost part of OUR wonderful home state. I love your channel! The tiara, IS BEAUTIFUL. Being a VERY Italian girl, living in So IL, I will go back to the motherland soon. I’m so excited for you and your “little” house in Italy. Usually when it comes to forks, start from the outside and work your way in. That’s always something my beautiful Nona taught me from a very young age! I adore your content Julie!!! From HOME to the beautiful Viscountess, you are THE BEST ❤️

[@AmericanViscountess]

Thank you so much!!

[@shinywatts5007]

Hi Julie, I love you’re videos and bing watch them all the time. As an American and now married into the aristocracy what do you think of all that’s happened with Harry and Meghan? Id love to know what you think and how you can bring some sense into why they are not liked at the same time speak as an American to explain some things

[@entyc_nm5493]

I'd love to see that! I really like the Tudor homes

[@1_viewer]

I, an American neither hug not kiss in greetings. Huggers seem to sense that a verbal greeting or goodbye is my way. 😊

[@shaunaanderson4844]

I am from Canada but my parents made sure that I was well educated in the way of eating properly with a knife and fork. It always makes me feel posh as I eat with the fork in the left and the knife in the right. I developed a great love of proper place settings (I think I was the only teen that got books on proper etiquette lol) Thanks for the fun.

[@bronwynj5194]

Haha as a mother of now grown children I still need to remind them to put their knife and fork, prongs up, together. This signifies they have finished eating. Anything else is slovenly. Peoples backgrounds show if they are messy eaters. Just the way I was raised. How you hold your knife and fork matters too. Very strict and old fashioned but I still agree with at least that rule 😊

[@glendabillingsley6996]

This American is addicted to your channels. So educational and entertaining to see Britain and the aristocracy, history, manor homes, architecture, culture, etc through your eyes which are in many ways like mine.

[@sharonnewton4374]

It is so sad that you did not have a butler to set the table for you and teach you the customs of your area. Good for you for learning ll the differences from America! What a challenge! God bless you!

[@TheLsd76]

I was taught most of the table manners you've talked about. My grandmother was educated at a boarding school, so same as her, many years later, I had to eat & cut food holding books under my armpits as a child, among other rules 😅 My father told me it's instinct to eat by hand, which is fine, but if you want to show respect to your host or end up eating at some posh place, you should be prepared to use good table manners, know all types of glassware and so on. I've heard stories about people struggling so as an adult I'm grateful I'm at ease in most settings. I appreciate the effort of clarifying things for us, thank you!

[@sjames672]

I would love to see more in-depth video on the architecture. I think you are very hard on yourself re errors, you are adorable and so respectful of Britain and traditions. It's a learning curve, we Brits would no doubt make faux pas if we went to live in the states.

[@babalonbarbie7352]

I've recently found your channel and I am very much enjoying your content. Thanks for putting it out there!

[@heathermartinez8640]

I would love to see more historical architectural style videos.

[@sarahbethnorthington8749]

Yes please to the video on architectural styles of homes! I’ve always found it such a n interesting topic!

[@jodieschlipf182]

Very interesting video! I’d love a video explaining the different English architectural styles and how to spot them (at Mapperton and other manor houses).

[@AmericanViscountess]

You got it!

[@SoledadHope]

I love your videos. You embraced the British culture and everything that goes with it. Credit to you for your effort as well your husband for supporting you. Reminds me of my settling in UK after marrying an English man and coming from a total different culture and language was not easy but you get used to . I love this country very much and home is where you make it not where you were born.

[@normaquintero3598]

More in-depth on architectural elements would be great.

[@beciaaus2811]

Living in Edwardian house in Melbourne, being from Europe I love the architecture but myself get confused with history of Anglo Saxon / British/ UK/ English, kings/ queens etc, I like your take on things as a foreigner… I hope they don’t give you too much hard time? 🤞👍